A Charming Life
by EverMineEverThine
Summary: Grace Anderson didn't really have a place in the world, that is, until her best friend Tara Knowles asked her to leave Chicago with her and start a new life in Charming, California. The sweet, beautiful nurse had no idea what the little California town had in store for her, but she never expected to meet a gorgeous, lonely biker that would change her life forever. [Juice, OC]
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Everyone! So this is my very first fan fiction. I started using this site about a year ago to read Walking Dead and Doctor Who fics. Then about six months ago I watched the entire SOA series on Netflix and it immediately became one of my all time favorite shows and favorite fandoms. I love so much of the SOA fan fics, and I kept having all these ideas that I was hoping I would see someone write one day. Finally decided to just sit down with these ideas and write at least one story of my own. I'm extremely nervous and I hope someone out there enjoys reading this. I look forward to any positive feedback as well as constructive criticism. Just be nice! In no way do I consider myself a professional writer. Just here to have fun and not take myself too seriously. I intend on updating at least once a week...hopefully. So with that said, enjoy!**

**And of course, I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of it's characters and will not profit off this fic. But I do own Grace Anderson and any other OCs that make their way into this story.**

**Also, this will be pretty much AU. I will at some point stray from the storyline and some characters may seem pretty OOC. Just saying.**

* * *

Grace Anderson sighed as she looked around at all the boxes that filled her once cozy, but now empty, downtown Chicago apartment. The boxes were filled with clothes, pictures, plates, and candles, but all Grace saw were memories of the last four years. She had loved every second she spent in this little, overpriced two bedroom. Four years. That was longer than she had ever lived in one place. She and her best friend since college, Tara Knowles, had been roommates since their first semester and continued to live together even when Grace graduated from nursing school and Tara entered medical school and residency. And now she was leaving their little home, packing up all of their memories, and heading off to live in Tara's hometown of Charming, California. Grace blew out a breath she didn't even realize that she was holding and ran both hands through her wavy, shoulder-length auburn hair.

"Tara, I'm finished in here. How are things in the kitchen?"

Tara came out of the kitchen juggling two boxes in her hands and sat them down with the others.

"I think that's the last of it. I just need to call the movers and then it's just you, me, and the u-haul."

Grace immediately went to Tara and wrapped her in a hug. She saw the anxiety that had been etched all over Tara's face since she had made the decision to go back to Charming. Over the years, Tara had shared everything with her about the small northern California town, including her reasons for leaving and never going back. Grace knew that Tara had been deeply in love with her high school sweetheart, Jackson, but had decided that their lives were going in two different directions. Grace had a feeling a part of Tara never left Charming, namely her heart. But with Tara's father dying, her asshole FBI agent ex-boyfriend harassing her, and the job offer at St. Thomas, Tara had accepted that Charming was the only real option right now. Tara grabbed Grace's cheeks and kissed her on the forehead.

"You know I can never repay you for agreeing to move to Charming with me, right?"

"I was never going to let you go without me, Doc. You're the only family I've got and I love you. You and me against the world, right?"

Tara smiled. "You and me, Gracie Jane, always."

Grace truly didn't hesitate saying yes when Tara asked her if she would be willing to move with her to Charming. Grace loved the ten years that she had been in Chicago since starting college, but it wasn't really her home. Maybe it was because she was an army brat who never lived in the same country, let alone the same city, for more than a couple of years, but Grace always believed that your home was the people you were with, not the address on your mail. Grace was an only child and her mother had died in a car accident when she was 10 years old. She had adored her father, Captain James David Anderson. He was an amazing father who loved his daughter more than anything in the world. He was her rock, her everything. So when two military personnel showed up to her dorm room five years ago and told her that her father had died when his plane was shot down during a mission in Afghanistan, Grace's life shattered into a million pieces. The only reason that she survived was the love and support of her best friend, Tara. In every way that mattered, Tara was her sister. The only family she had left. So if Tara needed her in some tiny little California hick town, then to California hick town she would go.

Five hours later, Grace slammed the door to the moving truck. Adjusting her mirrors, strapping on her seatbelt and putting on her black Ray-Bans, she looked over to a very nervous Tara in the passenger's seat. Grace reached over and squeezed her hand, giving Tara her best smile.

"You ready to get this show on the road, Knowles?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Then let's do this. Charming, here we come."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Grace's first week in Charming was a blur. The first few days were spent cleaning Tara's childhood home to make it livable and unpacking everything that they had hauled from Chicago. The house was a small three bedroom ranch on a quiet street in Charming. Tara seemed to have nothing but bad memories associated with every room in the house, but Grace couldn't help but feel giddy with every picture and piece of clothing that she unpacked. Grace had never in her life lived in a house that she _owned_. Her entire childhood was spent in temporary housing on military bases and her college years were spent in a dorm room. The apartment in Chicago was wonderful, but it never really felt permanent. It was just another stop along the way. But looking at her belongings scattered around the house to which Tara held the deed, Grace got a funny feeling in her stomach…it was hard to describe, but for lack of a better word it felt like…belonging.

They also spent an entire day at an attorney's office that week settling Tara's late father's estate. She inherited the house, a very small amount of life insurance, and her dad's Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. The moment Tara took the cover off the beautiful classic car, Grace couldn't help but shake her head and laugh.

Tara looked at her and smirked. "What's so funny, Gracie? Don't you like the car?"

Grace was still laughing as she walked around the car to get a better look. "Of course I like the car, Doc. It's fucking beautiful. I just shouldn't be surprised that you are going to be driving around town in this sleek, sexy piece of American machinery while I will be looking oh, so hot in my incredibly stylish rusted out piece of shit 1994 Honda Accord."

Tara just rolled her eyes and smiled. It was a constant joke between the girls that, for being best friends in the world, they couldn't be more opposite. Grace thought Tara was so sophisticated and beautiful with her long chocolate hair and tall, thin frame. Tara always told Gracie that she was just as beautiful, although Grace never believed a word of it. Grace was 5'5" on a good day, thin but not skinny, had boobs that she thought seemed too big on her petite frame, green eyes that she always thought were nothing special and wavy auburn hair that refused to stay straight. _Average_, Grace had accepted a long time ago. Tara always said she was crazy, that nothing about her was average. But the dissimilarities didn't stop with appearance. Tara loved dramas, Grace loved comedies and sci-fi. Tara wore pencil skirts and stiletto heels to go on dates, Grace wore jeans and Chuck Taylors. Tara always gravitated towards blond haired, blue eyed guys, but Grace was always a sucker for tall, dark, and handsome. Tara could also be a total bitch when the situation called for it. Grace didn't have a mean, confrontational bone in her body. And even though they were both in the medical field, Tara had become a surgeon because she loved the technical precision, artistry, and skill needed for the profession, whereas Grace had become a nurse because she simply loved helping and connecting with people. The only things they had in common were that they were both unlucky in love and were both completely devoted to each other.

The rest of the week was consumed by orientation at St. Thomas, where Tara would be working in pediatric surgery and where Grace would be the newest emergency room nurse. Grace had spent the last four years since graduation working in an incredibly busy ER in downtown Chicago, so she knew she was more than qualified to work in the small, slower paced hospital. Training only took a few days. Her coworkers seemed really nice and thought Grace would be a real asset to the department. Gracie just really wanted to make a good impression. One of the biggest lessons she learned as a child, moving from place to place, was that first impressions really count. She never had a lot of time to build relationships with people, because she knew she would be gone in a few short years. So, for as long as she can remember, Grace made an effort to always be as open as possible. She was always kind, always genuine, and always honest, because she didn't want to waste the small precious time she had with people trying to be someone she wasn't. So the people at St. Thomas were either going to love her or hate her, but at least they could decide right away.

Tara just looked at her knowingly when she relayed that sentiment to her later that night at the house. "Yeah, Gracie, because so many people hate you. You are literally the nicest person I've ever met in my life. I've never heard you say a mean thing about anyone. Everyone loves you."

"Thanks, Knowles. You've just jinxed me. Now there's going to be someone at St. Thomas who hates my guts."

Tara smiled. "And so what if there is? What if someone really hates you? What are you going to do about it?"

"I'd tell them to fuck off, obviously."

Tara grinned. "Really?"

Grace tried not to laugh. "Yes, really!...Ok, first I would make them brownies and see if we could work through our differences, but then, absolutely. Fuck off."

Tara just laughed and gave her a hug. "Oh, sweetie. This town is going to eat you alive."

* * *

_Two weeks later_

Grace woke up with the sun streaming in on her face. She got up and stretched looking at her alarm clock. _7:13am._ She was off work today, but has always been a morning person and never had any intention of wasting her mornings, especially gorgeous, sunny California mornings in bed. In the last couple of weeks, Grace had started to establish a little routine. On days that she didn't have to be at the hospital, she would take a long morning run all over Charming and then get coffee and a donut at the little bakery on Main Street. It was so much better than running in Chicago. She could breathe fresh air, run without bumping into a million other joggers, and the people in Charming actually smiled and waved when she went by. So, she immediately took off her favorite oversized Star Wars t-shirt that doubled as her nightgown and went in search of her sports bra and running pants. The house was totally quiet, which means Tara must already be at the hospital. She inhaled a banana and some water, tied her hair back in a short pony tail, put on her running shoes, and headed out the door.

An hour later she was standing in front of Charming's little bakery, dripping in sweat, and in dire need of a sugar rush. Gracie figured, why go through all the hassle of running if not to be able to eat a jelly-filled powdered donut?

Grace was trying to balance the donut, a large chai latte, her iPod, and a newspaper in her hands as she opened the door to walk back outside. Looking down at her feet realizing that one of her shoe laces was untied she didn't notice the man standing right in front of her. She ran right into what felt like a brick wall made out of leather, spilling her drink all over herself and dropping the donut to the ground. Her ass almost joined the donut on the street, but the brick wall in question reached his hands out and caught her right before she hit the pavement.

Grace couldn't even look at the man she had just run into. She was mortified. Tying her shoe quickly she stared at the ground. "Oh my god, I am so, so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I am so sorry."

She heard the man chuckle and then felt his hand under her chin as he raised her eyes to his face. "Hey, it's OK. Are you alright? You almost…"

The man stopped talking as soon as their eyes locked and Grace, to her own embarrassment, let out a quiet gasp. Grace was trying to form a complete sentence in her head, but all she kept coming up with was _wow…just, wow._ The man in front of her was perfect. Like, really perfect. He had to be close to 6 feet tall, with insanely beautiful brown eyes, and quite possibly the most adorable smile she had ever seen. His head was mostly shaved except for a very short Mohawk down the center with some pretty sexy looking tribal tattoos on either side of his head. God, she loved tattoos. What she once thought was a brick wall covered in leather, she realized was just a rock solid torso covered in some kind of leather vest with patches on the front.

Grace snapped out of her little trance when she felt something cold and sticky running down her chest. It was then she realized that she was meeting Mr. Tattooed Perfect Mystery Man while covered in sweat and her latte. _Yeah, _she thought, _NOW I'm mortified._

"I'm really sorry, again. I hope I didn't spill anything on you."

Dreamboat just flashed a flirty, mega watt smile at her. "No, you didn't. I'm good. Besides, there could be worse things happening to me this morning than literally running into a beautiful woman."

Grace felt her cheeks redden, looked down at her messy self and sighed. Oh, that's a shame. Dreamboat is obviously delusional. "Uh, thanks. That's really nice of you to say. Um, yeah, so sorry."

She went to run back towards her house where she could die of embarrassment in peace when she felt a strong hand grab her wrist. She turned around and this time the smile on the guy's face was smaller, sweeter, almost shy.

"Listen, you crashed into me this morning. I thought I was going to die. Nearly gave me a heart attack. The very least you can do to make it up to me is let me buy you another breakfast…and maybe tell me your name?"

Grace tried to hide her small smile but it was unsuccessful. She looked into those deep brown eyes and they really looked sincere and…hopeful. She looked at his face and let a small giggle escape. He was just being so damn sweet. "OK, to make up for your near-death experience, you can buy me breakfast."

He still held her small wrist in his hand when he smiled and said, "Juice."

"Um, no, I was drinking coffee actually."

He hung his head down and laughed, then raised his head to look in her eyes once more. "No, uh, that's my name…Juice."

Grace felt herself blush, again, and just laughed some more at herself. "Oh, ok. Well, hi, Juice. I'm Grace. Yeah, that's my real name, even though I may be the biggest klutz on Earth."

Never breaking eye contact, Juice just smiled and shook her hand. "It's really nice to meet you, Grace."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or followed this story. I always thought authors were just being nice when they said that the reviews made it all worth it, but it's totally true! Each one is my own personal little ego boost. So, seriously, thank you.**

**Hope everyone liked Juice and Gracie's meet cute :) This chapter is from Juice's POV and was really hard to write, 'cause, you know, I'm not a dude. Tried my best, though! Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

Juice sat straight up when he heard the loudest fucking banging in the universe, and he had no idea if it was coming from his door or the inside of his head. Until about three seconds ago he was passed out, attempting to sleep off the massive hangover he had from the party the night before. Some of the guys from SAMTAZ had come up through Charming on their way to Tacoma, and the party, as usual, had gotten pretty out of control. Juice vaguely remembers finishing off a bottle of Jack and then stumbling into his room at the clubhouse with one of the crow eaters. _God, what was her name? Jamie? No, Jessie? Jasmine? Ah, fuck it._ He looked around the room and realized that he was alone and was grateful that whoever he had fucked last night didn't stay in his bed. He hated waking up next to a girl when he couldn't remember her name.

When the banging started again, he realized that someone was, very fucking loudly, kicking his door. "God damn it, what the fuck?"

"You finally awake in there, Juicey boy?"

Juice groaned. God damn Chibs. "I am now, damn! It's 8:00 in the morning. What do you want?"

Chibs opened the door and had a shit eating grin on his face. "Just wanted to make sure you weren't neck deep in crow eater pussy before I opened the door, boyo. TM is swamped outside, brother. We need your ass out of bed and in the garage."

Juice rolled over onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow and punching the bed with his fist. He let out a muffled yell. "God, fine, just give me five minutes. I'll be out."

Chibs just laughed as he shut the door. Juice heard him yelling down the hallway, "Five minutes, Juicey, then I'm dragging your little Puerto Rican ass out here."

Juice rolled over and stared at his ceiling. He loved his club and loved his brothers more than anything, but he was so tired of waking up like this. _God, I'm only 28 years old, and I'm just so fucking tired._

He stumbled into his bathroom to take a piss, brush his teeth, and take a quick shower, trying to wash off the stench of booze and crow eater. He threw on a tight black t-shirt, his usual cargo pants, boots, and his TM work shirt and made his way outside, grabbing his kutte off the back of his chair before he left the room. He was walking towards the garage and just lighting a cigarette when he looked up and saw Tig walking towards him.

"Juice, go make a donut run. We're fucking starving."

"Damn Tig, seriously?"

"Seriously. Now. I'm hungry and I want some fucking donuts."

Juice groaned. "I woke up about five seconds ago and I feel like I got hit with a god damn truck, man. Why can't Half-Sack go?"

Chibs walked out of the garage bay. "Prospect's on a tow run, Juicey boy. That means you're up. Besides, if you don't go, I'll tell Gemma you wouldn't go get her breakfast."

Juice just turned around and sighed. He took off his TM shirt and threw on his kutte, walking towards his bike. "I hate you guys."

"Two dozen, boyo!" Chibs and Tig turned back towards the garage laughing when they heard Juice's Harley start up and head out of the lot.

* * *

Juice felt better the second he was on his bike. No matter what shit was going on in his life, in his head, riding always made it easier to think through and handle. Riding had saved his life from the moment he stole his first Harley when he was 16, gave him a peace that he had never experienced in his entire life. Riding got him out of New York and away from some very bad memories, quieted his OCD rattled brain, and most importantly, gave him the Sons. _His life,_ _his family._ So, even though it was a short ride into downtown Charming, Juice was much more awake and in a much better mood by the time he pulled up in front of the bakery.

He took his helmet off and walked towards the door. But before he could open it, a girl came tumbling out carrying a bunch of shit in her hands and looking down at her feet. Before Juice could stop her, the girl ran right into him, drenching herself in whatever was in her to-go cup and dropping everything else on the sidewalk. She was just about to fall backwards from the impact when he reached out and grabbed both of her arms.

Without looking up at him the girl quickly knelt down in front of him and tied her unlaced running shoe. "Oh my god, I am so, so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I am so sorry."

Juice couldn't help but laugh a little. This girl was so embarrassed and frazzled. He reached down and grabbed the girl's chin, hoping to snap the poor thing out of her apologetic rambling.

"Hey, it's OK. Are you alright? You almost…"

Juice's voice caught in his throat. The first things he saw were amazing green eyes. Light and clear, they reminded him of blown glass. Her hair was pulled back and he couldn't quite tell if it was red or brown. Her skin was really pale except for the blush in her cheeks, but it was so gorgeous. _Now I get it when someone says it looks like fucking porcelain. _She was wearing some kind of sports bra that showed off a flat stomach and really nice rack, and tight black running pants that clearly showed toned legs, curvy hips, and a tight but still nicely rounded ass. Normally Juice described a woman as sexy or hot. And this girl was definitely both of those things, but as he looked back at her face, the only word he could think of was _pretty. She is so fucking pretty. Like, the prettiest girl I've ever seen._

Juice realized that the woman in front of him seemed to be giving him the same inspection that he had just given her. _Looks like she likes what she sees. _After a few moments, she looked down at her dripping chest and seemed to blush even more. It was fucking adorable.

"I'm really sorry, again. I hope I didn't spill anything on you."

Her voice was quiet and shaking a little, but it sounded really nice.

Juice slapped on his go-to panty dropping smile and said the first line he could think of. "No, you didn't. I'm good. Besides, there could be worse things happening to me this morning than literally running into a beautiful woman."

He frowned when the girl's cheeks turned an impossible shade of red and she all of the sudden looked a little uncomfortable.

"Uh, thanks. That's really nice of you to say. Um, yeah, so sorry."

_Shit, she thinks I'm fucking with her._ Juice got a strange wave of panic shooting through his chest when she turned away from him and looked like she was ready to bolt. Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could get away.

"Listen, you crashed into me this morning. I thought I was going to die. Nearly gave me a heart attack. The very least you can do to make it up to me is let me buy you another breakfast…and maybe tell me your name?"

Juice felt his entire body relax as soon as he saw the little smile she was trying to hide. He just stared at her like an idiot, hoping that she would stay. He had no idea why the hell it was so important that she didn't leave. It just really fucking was.

"OK, to make up for your near-death experience, you can buy me breakfast."

_Oh God, she's funny and pretty._

Juice focused on the feel of her tiny wrist in his hand when he absent-mindedly said, "Juice."

"Um, no, I was drinking coffee actually."

_Yep, fucking adorable._

This girl had made him smile more in the last five minutes than he did in the last five weeks. "No, uh, that's my name…Juice."

She let out a laugh that Juice was pretty sure he could get addicted to hearing. "Oh, ok. Well, hi, Juice. I'm Grace. Yeah, that's my real name, even though I may be the biggest klutz on Earth."

He never stopped staring into those big green eyes as he took her hand in his. "It's really nice to meet you, Grace."

As they walked back into the bakery together, Juice reminded himself to give Chibs a big fucking kiss as soon as he got back to TM for banging on his door that morning and sending him to get donuts.


	4. Chapter 4

**As of today, I have 16 followers and 5 favorites, and it has kind of made my life. So to anyone reading this, thank you so much! Please review and let me know what you think. This was the hardest chapter for me to write so far because I wanted to replicate a real couple actually meeting and getting to know each other. And let's be honest, these two are both a little awkward and unsure of themselves. This will be somewhat of a slow burn because I want Juice and Gracie's connection to feel **_**real.**_** But please stay with me. I see lots of love and smutty goodness in their future.**

**This is a long one…**

Chapter 4

Juice barely placed his hand on the small of her back as he guided them back into the bakery, and Grace almost gasped at the current of electricity she felt from the small contact.

She turned around quickly to face him. "I'm just going to go into the restroom really fast and clean off some of the latte."

"Sure, I'll get our stuff and meet you outside."

Grace tried her damndest to walk slowly down the little hallway that led to the bathroom. _Be cool, Anderson. If you've never once in your life been cool, please be cool now._ She went into the tiny bathroom, locked the door, and immediately went over to the sink, grasping the sides and staring at her reflection in the mirror.

She very quietly gave herself the pep talk she so desperately needed in that moment. "Ok, breathe Grace. Just breathe. Yes, he's the hottest guy you've ever seen. Yes, he's way out of your league. Yes, you made an ass out of yourself and looked like a complete idiot in front of him. But for some unknown reason he is waiting outside for you…so just don't freak out, be yourself, and for the love of all things holy, calm the fuck down."

She grabbed some paper towels and attempted to clean off some of her sticky, sweaty skin. Then she took one more huge deep breath and walked back outside.

She saw Juice sitting at one of the small café tables that lined the outside of the bakery. He was drinking a cup of coffee and had two huge boxes of pastries sitting in front of him. She noticed that one of his legs was bouncing up and down and he looked a little uneasy, almost nervous. _Maybe he's regretting asking me out. Well, he didn't really ask me out. Did he? I guess I'll find out soon enough._

She mustered up all the courage she could find and walked over to the table. Grace raised her eyebrows at the boxes in front of Juice and said teasingly, "You must be hungry."

As soon as he saw her, Juice sighed in relief and he felt all of the muscles he didn't even realize he was tensing relax. A tiny voice in his head was convinced that this mystery girl was going to sneak out the back of the building and he would never see her again. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Oh, nah, they're not for me. They're for the guys I work with."

"You don't want anything?"

Juice shook his head and looked a little embarrassed. "Honestly, I'm not feeling all that great. Kind of overdid it last night."

Gracie gave him an understanding smile and shrugged her shoulders. "We've all been there."

She sat down in the empty seat and grinned at the little breakfast in front of her, a brand new jelly filled donut with powdered sugar and a fresh chai. "Thank you for this. You really didn't have to."

She picked up the donut and started nervously breaking it apart with her barely shaking fingers. Eating was a good distraction, because she honestly had no idea what to say next. Grace never had trouble talking to people, ever. She had more than enough practice meeting new people over the years with how much she moved around as a kid. But every time she glanced up and saw those brown eyes, her mind went blank. She started eating her favorite pastry the same way she always did, tearing it apart and eating one little piece at a time, licking the filling out of the middle of each small piece, popping the remainder in her mouth, and then licking off the powdery tips of her fingers. She looked up when she heard a quiet noise and noticed Juice staring directly at her mouth with slightly darkened eyes. _Did he just…groan?_

Juice was horrified when he realized that the sound he thought was only going through his head actually came out of his big fucking mouth. A few moments ago, he had been completely knocked on his ass when Grace started eating. He felt a twitch in his pants every time she licked the raspberry filling and sucked on her little fingers with those gorgeous full lips. She was turning him on more than any crow eater he had ever seen. And the hottest thing about her was that he knew, without a doubt, she was completely oblivious. She wasn't trying to look sexy. She had no fucking idea what she was doing to him. Grace met his eyes and he quickly looked down at his coffee, coughed a little, and took a huge drink.

She looked concerned. "Um, are you ok?"

Juice rubbed the back of his neck and looked at anything except Grace. "Uh, yeah, like I said, overdid it last night. Just a little queasy."

Definitely time to change the subject. "So, you're new here, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I've only been here a couple of weeks. How did you know?"

"It's a really small town. I've never seen you around. What brought you to Charming?"

In truth, Juice had known she was new in town the minute that she actually smiled back at him on the sidewalk. In the last few years, he had realized that there were basically three types of girls in Charming; the bad girls that loved to fuck him, the good girls that believed they were too good for biker trash like him but still secretly wanted to fuck him, and the good girls that were scared shitless of him as soon as they saw his kutte. Grace was a good girl. He could see that from a mile away. But she wasn't afraid of him and she wasn't looking down on him. She was genuinely just nice. That could only mean that she hadn't been here long enough to know about the MC.

Gracie was finally starting to feel at ease. She loved living in Charming, and was excited to talk about her move to California.

"I moved here a few weeks ago from Chicago. My best friend, Tara, was raised here, but she hadn't been back since graduating from high school. Her father passed away and left her the house she grew up in, so she decided to move back and she asked me to come with her. So here I am."

Juice raised his eyebrows in surprise. "As easy as that? You just pick up and move across the country because your friend asked you to go?"

Gracie just smiled and nodded. It was a totally valid question. "I don't have any family or anything. Nothing was keeping me in Chicago. Tara needed me and I wanted to be here for her. We're always kind of there for each other. She's really more like my sister than my friend."

Juice understood exactly what she was saying. He didn't have any real family either. But he had his brothers, the Sons, which he knew was all the family he would ever really need.

Juice responded without thinking. "I get that. That's how I feel about the MC."

"What's the MC?"

_Shit_, Juice thought. He had no idea how to talk to her about this. For some reason that he didn't yet understand, he didn't want to lie to her.

"It stands for motorcycle club. The guys I work with and me are all in it. We're all, uh, Harley enthusiasts."

Grace looked over at the big black motorcycle parked in front of the bakery. "Oh, so is that yours?"

Juice looked over at his Harley and couldn't help but smile with pride. "Yep, that's my baby."

"That's so awesome. I've always wanted to ride on one."

Juice almost spit out his coffee. "You've never been on a motorcycle? Seriously?"

Grace almost laughed at the horrified look on his face. "Seriously. My dad was really overprotective when I was a kid. He always told me that they were too dangerous. Since then I've just never known anyone that knew how to ride, so I guess I've never had the chance."

Juice found himself staring into those pretty green eyes again and gave her a soft smile. "Well, your first ride is going to be with me, sweetheart."

Gracie could feel her cheeks reddening and she bit her bottom lip trying her best not to grin like an idiot. "I'd really like that Juice, thanks. That would be really…really nice."

Grace returned his gaze, and she realized that she was perfectly happy in that moment just staring at him; at his chocolate eyes, mocha skin, and goofy, friendly grin. A few moments passed in silence as they just looked at each other, and she felt her smile slip and fall as the air between them started feeling heavy and the whole experience started feeling a little too…_intense_.

She couldn't tell if Juice felt it too, but he was looking at her in a way that no man had ever looked at her in her entire life. Gracie quickly broke eye contact and shook her head slightly, trying to clear the fog of emotions that had strangely overtaken her.

Juice had lost himself completely in those eyes. He was sure that only a few seconds had gone by since she had spoken, but there was no way of knowing. He felt so comfortable with her, so _right._ He could feel the energy between them and he had no idea what the hell was happening. He just knew that it had never, ever happened before. He could feel his hand that was sitting on the table involuntarily starting to reach for hers, aching to touch her. But then Grace turned her head and broke whatever trance he had just been in. He quickly placed his hand in his lap and looked down at it completely confused by what he had just experienced. _Weird. What the hell was that?_

Grace refocused and tried to remember what they had been talking about. _Oh, right, motorcycles_. She looked down at the leather she had felt earlier when she bumped into his chest. Her grin returned as she waved her hand and gestured to his clothing.

"Well, that makes more sense now. I like your vest."

Juice looked down at his leather. "Kutte."

Gracie furrowed her brow. "I'm sorry?"

Juice gave her a small grin. "It's not a vest. It's called a kutte. All the guys in the MC wear one. It lets people know what club you belong to."

Grace glanced at it more carefully and read the words on the front. "What do the patches mean? Redwood Original?"

"It just means that I'm part of the Charming MC. We have clubs all over the country."

Gracie smiled. "Oh, and what about that one? Men of Mayhem? Does that mean you like to get into a lot of trouble or something?" she said teasingly.

Juice just smirked. "Yeah, something like that."

He wanted to get back to talking about her. "So, what do you do here? Do you have a job yet?"

He noticed the way Grace's face lit up like a Christmas tree at the mention of her job. "I work at St. Thomas actually. I'm a nurse in the emergency room."

Juice instantly got distracted by the thought of Grace in one of those sexy little white nurse outfits that slutty girls wore on Halloween. _Focus, asshole. She's still talking._

"I worked in a really big urban hospital in Chicago ever since I graduated from college. It was great. Really fast paced, so much action, and I learned so much. But, I think I'm actually going to like it here better. My ER in Chicago was all about stabilizing people, saving them, and sending them on their way. Charming is totally different. It's definitely slower, which means that I get to spend more time talking to my patients, getting to know them. I love it. And Tara works there, too. She's a surgeon, so I don't get to see her all that much, but it's just nice to know she's there."

Juice listened to Grace tell stories about her first few weeks at St. Thomas. She talked about getting to help deliver twins in the waiting room the very first day, about the little five year old boy that came in because he got one of his Lego's stuck in his ear, and the tiny old woman with a respiratory infection that had lived in Charming her whole life and who had been married to the same man for 70 years. He was stunned to realize that he had been hanging on every word she said. He was truly laughing at all of the jokes she made and loving the look in her eyes when she expressed her sorrow at seeing any of her patients suffering. _Compassion. I haven't seen that in a really long time._

"So what about you? You said you and your club friends work together. What do you do?"

"We're all mechanics. There's a garage in town, Teller-Morrow. I've worked there for a little over five years."

"Do you just work on motorcycles?"

"Motorcycles, cars, anything with an engine. I'm also sort of the IT guy. I'm pretty good with computers."

"Well, I'm sure I'll eventually be bringing you some business. My car is about 14 years old, has approximately 2 million miles, and constantly breaks down. I'll be your new best customer."

Juice laughed. "I'll have to try and get you the friends and family discount then."

Gracie looked at him with mock seriousness. "Do or do not, Juice. There is no try."

Juice was stunned. His eyes widened in surprise. "Did you just Yoda me?"

Grace hung her head and laughed at herself as she felt her whole face blush. "Wow, I so did not intend on letting my nerd out this early in our relationship. If we're going to hang out, you should know this about me right away, because it's kind of a deal breaker…I'm a total Star Wars geek. I'm kind of obsessed with a lot of sci-fi stuff, actually. Is that something that you think you can handle?"

Juice wanted to pray to every god he ever heard of and say thank you. Where the hell had this woman been all his life? Unable to stifle the biggest grin of his life, he felt fucking giddy. "You know, Grace. I think that's something I can learn to live with."

* * *

Juice had no idea how long they'd been sitting outside of the bakery just talking. He admitted to his own love of all things science fiction. They both loved comic books and super heroes. He talked about the video games he loved to play, and was thrilled to hear that Grace enjoyed some of them too. Grace told him about a few of the countries she had lived in as a kid and traveling with her dad. Juice told her about his early memories in Queens, his first time on a Harley, and a few of the more innocent stories related to his computer hacking past. They're conversation was seamless and was only interrupted when Juice felt his burner phone vibrating in the pocket of his cargo pants. He picked up the phone and saw the time. It was almost noon. He and Grace had been talking for almost four hours. He flipped open the phone and sighed when he saw five missed calls from Tig and three from Chibs. His ass was is so much trouble.

Juice slowly got out of his chair. "Fuck, I've been here forever. I've got to get back to work."

Grace quickly stood. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I've been talking your leg off. I hope you won't get in trouble."

Juice looked at her and smiled. "No, it's OK. I liked you talking my leg off. I just totally lost track of time.

Gracie wasn't sure what to do, so she awkwardly stuck out her hand. Searching for the right words, she said "Well Juice, it's been... thanks again for breakfast. I'm so glad…I mean, it was…I'm really happy I almost knocked you over this morning"

Juice reached for her outstretched hand and held it gently in his own. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her how amazing the morning had been, how he'd never felt so connected so fast to another person, how he wasn't quite ready to let her go. But he also didn't want to sound like a pussy. Instead he made a joke. "Me too. I've never been so happy about basically being attacked by a sweaty stranger carrying a hot beverage."

Gracie smiled and playfully punched his shoulder with her other hand. Juice pretended that her punch had hurt his shoulder.

"You know, for a nurse you seem totally fine with wounding me."

Gracie just laughed. After a moment, Juice reluctantly let go of her hand.

"So, I guess I'll see you around then."

Grace's heart sunk down to her running shoes. That was it? That was the goodbye she got after possibly the greatest conversation of her life? She didn't know if he would ever want to see her again. He never asked for her telephone number. She didn't even know his last name.

She plastered on a small smile that never quite reached her eyes. "Sure, Juice. I'll see you around."

Juices watched her as she turned around slowly and walked away. He kept staring at her heading down the street, wondering when he would see her again. _Oh shit, when am I going to see her again?_

"Grace! Hold Up!" He yelled and started jogging towards her down the sidewalk.

Grace turned around and saw Juice running towards her with a slight look of panic on his face.

She bit her lower lip as he approached, panting and slightly out of breath. "Hey, what's up?"

Juice sighed in relief and smiled as he reached her. She hadn't gotten away. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I never got your number. I've got to call you so I can take you on that ride, remember?"

Grace unsuccessfully tried to hide her relief. She was pretty sure it was all over her face. "Definitely."

Grace told Juice her cell number, which he typed into his burner. He went to save her contact info and realized her hadn't even asked her last name.

"It's Anderson. Grace Anderson. And yours?

"Ortiz."

"OK, well, I guess I'll talk to you soon, Juice Ortiz."

Juice slowly leaned in and gave her the slightest kiss on the cheek. "See you soon, Grace Anderson."

* * *

During the short ride back to the clubhouse, all Juice could think about was Grace. He was so excited about seeing her again, and he hadn't been excited about anything in a really long time. He had only had a couple of girlfriends his entire life, but he was never really serious about anyone. Since he had earned his patch, the only women that he had been with were sweetbutts or crow eaters. He had never met anyone like Grace. She was so pretty…so fucking pretty. But she was nice too, and smart, and sweet, and loyal. She's traveled the world, went to college, and devoted her life to caring for people. She was just a good person.

And he knew that he wasn't. All of the sudden, Juice's chest started to ache as his mind was suddenly overcome with all the reasons that he should never see her again. _I'm a fuck up and I have been my whole life. I hear it all the time. I have freaking OCD that I barely manage. I'm an idiot unless I'm in front of a computer screen, and even then I'm probably doing something illegal. Other than being a Son, I haven't accomplished jack-shit. And the fact is, I'm a Son above everything. I can't begin to picture her being a part of my life. What am I going to do, ask her to come to the clubhouse for a Friday night party? Let her get groped and dance on a pole and talk to all the whores that I've fucked over the years? I have nothing to offer her. Nothing. The truth is, I ruin almost everything I touch, and she's perfect. I don't want to ruin her._

Juice pulled into the TM lot, parked his bike, and took off his helmet. He was still sitting on his bike, staring at nothing, trying to convince his body to move, when he was hit with the simple truth so hard that he thought he might get sick. He didn't even realize that he said the words out loud.

"She's too good for me."

Before he could change his mind, Juice quickly took the burner phone out of his pocket and found Grace's name. He only hesitated for a moment before pressing delete.

Tig came walking out of the garage bay when he heard Juice's Harley pull into the lot. "Jesus Christ, Juice! You get fucking lost? Where the hell have you been all god damn day?"

Juice was only vaguely aware that someone was yelling at him. He walked back into the clubhouse without saying a word to anyone. He was going back to bed.

_**Please, please, please review!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for following or favoriting this story! And thanks for the reviews! Please keep em' coming! **

Chapter 5

Tara got home from work around noon and found the house empty. She had been called to the hospital in the middle of the night to perform an emergency appendectomy on a 12 year old boy, and then stayed just long enough to finish her morning rounds. As usual since moving back to Charming, she rushed home without making any stops and planned on staying there until she was forced to leave the house again. Tara knew that she had to stop being a hermit at some point if she was really going to try and make Charming her home again, but she was still scared shitless of running into anyone she knew from her old life, especially Jackson Teller.

Tara went to her bathroom, peeled off her scrubs, and got into a scalding hot shower. Attempting to relax, she sagged against the shower wall and rested her forehead on the still cool tiles. _Jackson._ She had tried so hard over the last ten years not to think about him, not to dream about him. Leaving Jax had been the hardest thing she'd ever done. Tara knew without a doubt that she still loved him, that she had loved him and only him since she was 15 years old. Their relationship had been everything first love should be; crazy, happy, intense, passionate, and heartbreaking. And when she was 18 and let him ink her with his crow, she had believed with all of her heart that they would be together forever. But as it turned out, life had other plans.

Tara was inundated with painful memories every time she left her house. On her way to work, she passed the high school. _Where we fell in love._ On her way to the grocery store she passed the park. _Where we had our first kiss._ On her way out of town to go shopping, she passed the dirt road that led down to a quiet creek bed surrounded by trees. _Where we lost our virginity to each other._

Tara shook her head and angrily wiped the few tears away that had escaped her eyes. "God, stop it. You are done crying over this. Just stop it."

She quickly washed her hair and body and got out of the shower. She pulled on an old University of Chicago t-shirt and her favorite yoga pants. She had absolutely no intention of leaving the house for the rest of the day.

As she walked into the living room, she heard the front door open and saw Gracie walking through the door looking slightly dazed and smiling to herself. Grace was one of the most cheerful people that Tara knew, so the happy look on her face wasn't a big surprise, but this smile looked…different.

"Hey, Gracie Jane. Are you just getting back from your run?"

Gracie's smile widened. Kicking off her shoes, she shrieked and ran over to Tara, throwing her arms around her.

Tara laughed. "Uh, I'm happy to see you too. What's gotten into you?"

Gracie pulled back from their hug and Tara noticed that she was blushing from neck to forehead.

"Tara, I met someone."

* * *

Grace took Tara's arm and dragged her over to the couch. Tara noticed that Gracie's hand was slightly trembling, she was so excited.

Tara couldn't help but smile at the look of total bliss on her best friend's face. "OK, Gracie. Take a deep breath, calm down, and tell me the whole story. And go slow!"

Grace took a huge breath and attempted to still the giddiness welling up inside of her. "OK, so I was running and went to the bakery for breakfast like I always do. I was leaving, carrying all my food and stuff, and totally not looking where I was going. I ran into, like really _ran into_ this guy. And he was just…I mean…he is totally…"

"Hot?"

"Beautiful."

Tara smirked. "Wow, Grace. I've never heard you call a guy beautiful."

Grace fell back on the arm of the couch. "Maybe because I never met someone like him before today."

Gracie went on to tell Tara all about the best morning of her life and the man that she had shared it with. She couldn't help but talk about how sexy he was. She seriously thought he was the hottest guy she'd ever seen. But what really made Juice special, _beautiful_, had nothing to do with his gorgeous brown eyes and breathtaking smile.

"Tara, he's so nice. He listened to me, like actually listened to me, when I went on and on and on about work, and my childhood, college, everything. I mean, he seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, you know? I felt so comfortable with him, and I told him so much about myself. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it felt like I had known him my whole life. And he's so sweet, Tara. He would say the sweetest things, and I am so not used to that."

Tara just nodded and rolled her eyes. She knew that when Grace said she wasn't used to guys being sweet to her, she was talking about her ex-boyfriend from college, Michael.

_Grace met Michael at a party the first weekend of freshman year. He was smart, good looking, athletic, and everything that Gracie thought she should want. Michael was wonderful to Grace in the beginning of their relationship, but after about a year things changed. He slowly started trying to make Gracie into something she wasn't, buying her different clothes and criticizing her appearance. He would tell her how cute she would be if she would only work out a little more or if she could only be a little taller. Tara watched that asshole degrade and belittle her best friend for years, knowing that Gracie put up with all of his bullshit only because he was her first boyfriend and she was lonely, not because she loved him. After two years together, Grace finally called it quits when, after being stood up for dinner one night, she walked into Michael's dorm room and found him fucking a little blond sorority girl. Tara will never forget the look on Gracie's face when she got back to their dorm that night. She was sobbing hysterically, not because it was over with that douche bag, but because she was angry with herself for wasting so much time with someone who never cared about her. The only good thing about that night was Michael showing up 15 minutes later, pounding at the door, begging for Gracie to take him back. Tara opened the door and looked at his stupid, fucking face for about two seconds. She smiled at him before using all her weight to throw the best punch of her life. She knocked Michael completely on his ass. Holding his face and bleeding in the hallway, Tara couldn't help herself_ _when she kicked him as hard as she could in the stomach._

_Tara leaned down and whispered in his ear. "I'm only going to say this once, you piece of shit. You ever try to talk to Grace again, if you even so much as look in her direction, I will not hesitate to tell your asshole frat brothers that you got your ass kicked by a girl, and after I tell them, I'll kick your ass all over again. Do you hear me, you stupid fuck? You leave her the hell alone. Now, get the fuck out of here."_

_Tara went back into the dorm, slamming the door. She turned around and was surprised to see Gracie no longer crying, but laughing so hard she could barely breathe._

"_Oh my god, that was awesome. I should have let you do that years ago. I love you, Knowles." _

Grace had gone on tons of dates in the years since breaking up with Michael. Some of them led to sex, but none of them had ever turned into relationships. When Tara once asked Gracie why she didn't try and make something happen with a few of the better guys, Grace would just smile and tell Tara that she was holding out for the real deal.

Tara loved hearing that this new guy with the weird name, Juice, was being so kind. "He should be sweet to you Gracie. No one deserves that more than you do."

Grace went on, telling her about how funny Juice had been, how smart he seemed, and best of all, how he wasn't turned off by her unabashed geekiness.

She blushed five shades of red. "I swear, Tara, I was mortified when I realized that I had actually quoted Star Wars to him, but looking back, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure it turned him on."

They both giggled like they were little girls. After a few moments, Gracie sighed and looked at Tara. She suddenly looked very serious.

"Tara, please don't think I'm stupid for asking this, because I already feel kind of stupid for thinking it, but…do you believe in love at first sight? That it's even possible? Because I can't explain what I feel for Juice, but I know it's…I don't know…something that I've never felt before."

Tara knew that it was possible, because she had fallen in love with Jackson the first time she looked into his crystal blue eyes.

Tara took Gracie's hands and smiled at her. "I can't be sure if you're in love with this guy, Grace. Only you know that. But I do know, without a doubt, that it's very possible you made him fall in love with you the first second he saw you. How could he help himself?"

Tara saw the tears welling up in Gracie's eyes, and she pulled her in for a big hug.

"So, Gracie Jane, when do I get to meet this god among men and decide if he's good enough for you?"

Gracie's whole face lit up. "Soon, I think. He asked for my number and told me that he would call me. He's going to take me for a ride on his motorcycle. God, I forgot to tell you! As if he wasn't hot enough, he's a biker!"

Tara's stomach dropped and she felt like she was going to get physically sick. "What do you mean, he's a biker?"

Grace's smile faded as she noticed the change in her friend. "He had a Harley and said that he would take me for a ride. It's a pretty big deal to him. He's in a motorcycle club with his friends. They all work as mechanics at some garage in town. I didn't catch the name of the club, but he had a patch on his vest that said Redwood Original."

Tara stood up and started pacing.

"Sons of Anarchy."

Grace was completely confused. "What?"

"Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original. Your dream guy is a fucking Son."

"Ok, Tara, I have no idea what you're talking about, but you're starting to scare me. Why the hell are you freaking out right now?"

"No, Grace! Just…no! You are not seeing this guy again. Do you hear me?"

Gracie voice was quivering. "Doc, I don't understand."

Tara looked down at the lost look on Gracie's face and collapsed back on the couch. She took Gracie's hands in her own once more and took a big, deep breath.

"Gracie, we need to talk."

* * *

Gracie had heard the story of Jackson Teller before. She knew that Tara had fallen hard for her high school sweetheart, but that after graduation, things had fallen apart for them. Tara had told her that Jackson was obsessed with his family business and that he had wanted Tara to stay in Charming and be a part of the business too. She knew that Tara wanted to escape the small town, to make something of herself. Tara was terrified of one day turning into her mother, a woman so consumed with one man, Tara's dad, that she turned into an alcoholic and eventually drank herself to death when she realized that he had been unfaithful. Tara left Charming, and Jackson, because she knew if she didn't that she would never be anything more than his wife, that she would forever be in his shadow, and that it would kill everything good inside of her.

"Gracie, I know why I told you I left Jax. But the truth is, wanting an identity of my own was only a small part of my decision. The real reason I left and never came back was that I was too in love with Jax to watch him destroy his life."

Tara's chin started to tremble and Gracie reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Tara, what are you talking about?"

The tears that Tara had been fighting for the last few minutes finally went rolling down her cheeks.

"Gracie, Jax is part of the MC. The family business I told you about? It's the Sons of Anarchy. Gracie, they're not just mechanics, and they're not just Harley riders. They're criminals. It's…it's a biker gang. They make money by doing a bunch of illegal shit. Shit that I don't need to talk about. Just know that it's serious….and it's _dangerous._ I'm sorry that I never told you the truth. I didn't mean to lie to you about Jax. I would never lie to you about anything. But I guess I still feel some sort of weird loyalty to all of them. I've never talked about the MC to an outsider, any outsider, even you. Gracie, I left Jackson behind and I broke his heart. But I swear to you, mine was just as broken. It still is. I just couldn't watch him waste his life for the MC. I couldn't spend my life waiting by the phone, constantly worrying if he was alright. I couldn't watch him go to prison. Gracie, I couldn't watch him die."

Tara covered her face with her hands and sobbed. "Gracie, I'm sure Juice is a great guy. Jax is a great guy, too. But you can't be with him, you just can't."

Gracie just held her, rocking her back and forth, whispering soothing words in her best friend's ear while her own mind was racing.

Gracie was in a state of disbelief. She tried her best to reconcile the unbelievable words that had come out of Tara's mouth with the man that she had just spent the last four hours with. The man with the sweet words, kind eyes, and shy smile that had made her heart melt. Grace didn't doubt Tara's words were true. She would never lie to her about something like that. But deep down, in spite of everything she had learned, and in a way that Gracie didn't understand, she knew with every fiber of her being that Juice was a good man.

As Gracie sat on the couch comforting a still distraught Tara, she decided that she wouldn't let anything stop her from seeing Juice again, even her best friend's warning. Grace had felt truly happy with Juice that morning, truly alive. And she wasn't quite willing to let that go.

* * *

_Two Weeks Later…_

Grace turned her alarm off. She had been awake for hours anyway, tossing and turning as she had for the past two weeks, unable to find peace long enough to fall asleep. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and noticed with utter resignation that the empty feeling in her chest was still there. The same thought that had plagued her for the last several days ran through her mind yet again. _He never called._

A couple of days after meeting Juice, still having not heard from him, Gracie just assumed he was busy. She knew that he was swamped at the garage, and after what Tara had told her, he was certainly busy with club business as well. On the fourth day, Gracie started to tell herself that he somehow lost her number. That maybe it didn't save in his phone. Then she remembered that he knew her name and where she worked, so it wasn't as though he couldn't find her again if he wanted to. After a solid week, Gracie finally cried. For the first time in her life, she was truly and completely heartbroken. As it turned out, she didn't have to worry about all the bad things Tara said. She didn't have to worry about deciding if she should be with a man like Juice. Apparently, he had decided for her. _I guess he just wasn't that interested._

Gracie went through the motions just as she had every day for the last two weeks. _Shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, repeat._ She threw on her burgundy colored scrubs, put on enough make up to cover the bags under her eyes, and ran her fingers threw her still damp wavy hair. As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, she tried to quiet the annoying voice in her head that had been getting louder and louder the last few days. _Why are you even surprised he didn't call. He was perfect. Too perfect. And I'm just…me. I just wish he wouldn't have asked for my number. I know he was probably just trying to be nice, but it was the hoping that hurt the worst. I wish he hadn't given me hope._

Before leaving the house, Gracie glanced at the kitchen, but the thought of eating breakfast made her stomach roll. She hadn't gotten through a decent meal in days, and she sure as hell hadn't been back to the bakery. _The one perk of having your heart shattered in a million pieces is being unable to eat and finally losing that last five pounds._

Grace got in her piece of shit car, gunning out of her driveway, and speeding down her street. She couldn't wait to get to work. For the next 12 hours she would be busy and distracted, getting a much needed break from constantly thinking about a nice smile and pretty brown eyes.

* * *

Gracie was halfway through her shift when her phone started vibrating. She looked down to see Tara's number flashing across the screen.

"Hey, Doc. What's up?"

Tara was whispering and sounded completely panicked. "Gracie, are you busy? I need you."

"Tara, what's wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm in the doctor's lounge outside the neonatal intensive care unit. Please Gracie, I need you up here with me."

Without hanging up the phone, Grace ran over to her manager and told her that she was taking her 30 minute lunch break.

"Ok, Tara, I'm on my way. Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"A little baby boy was just born that's in really bad shape. I'm going to assist in the surgery to repair his heart and stomach."

"Tara, that's what you do best."

"Gracie, it's Jax's baby. God, Gracie, it's Jackson's son."

_Oh shit. "_Tara, listen. It's going to be alright. Calm down. I'll be right there."

Grace literally ran to the fifth floor, taking the stairwell two steps at a time. She opened the door to the doctor's lounge and found Tara nervously sitting on one of the sofas. Tara immediately went to Grace and hugged her.

"Jesus, Gracie. I haven't seen Jax since I've been back. I haven't spoken one word to him. And after ten years, the first thing I have to tell him is that his son might die. What the hell am I going to do?"

Gracie didn't know Jackson Teller, but she knew her brilliant, competent, tough as nails best friend like the back of her hand. Tara didn't need comforting. Tara needed kicked in the ass. Grace pulled Tara out of her arms and grabbed the sides of her face, forcing Tara to meet her gaze.

"You listen to me, Doctor Knowles. You don't let anything, and I mean anything, get in the way of performing your duties to the best of your ability. So the fact that you have to face Jackson Teller is irrelevant. The only thing that matters right now is the baby prepping for OR, waiting for you to save his life. You are an amazing doctor and a hard core bitch. I don't know who this nervous wreck of a woman is in front of me, but it sure as hell isn't Doctor Tara fucking Knowles. Now, pull your head out of your ass and focus on your job."

Almost instantly, Tara stopped trembling and the tears that had been welling in her eyes all but disappeared. She walked towards the door to leave the doctors lounge. She looked back at Grace over her shoulder with a calm and steely resolve.

"Come on Grace. I've got to go inform a family member about their child's condition."

Grace walked over to Tara and wrapped her in one more hug.

Tara finally relaxed, hugging Gracie, and letting out a big calming breath.

"Thank you Grace. I needed that."

"You and me against the world, right Knowles?"

Tara nodded and smiled. "Always, Gracie Jane."

"Alright, then. Let's go see the big bad biker."

* * *

Gracie and Tara walked to the neonatal waiting room. A tall, gorgeous blond man with a distraught look on his face walked up to Tara and gave her a huge hug. _So this is thee Jax Teller._

Gracie stood by Tara's side as she told Jax about his son's condition and the surgery that was needed if there was going to be even a slim chance of saving his life. She was just about to excuse herself to go back to the ER when she heard a loud commotion at the entrance to the waiting room. A sea of men in matching leather vests stormed in, looking just as worried as Jax had been. Feeling her heart seize with panic, Gracie just prayed silently, _please don't be here, please don't be here._

Her heart stopped the moment that she laid eyes on Juice. He was standing there, the guy that had totally broken her heart, just about 20 feet away. Grace was mentally willing her body to move, but it's like she was frozen in place. Only when those haunting brown eyes found her own did she turn around and walk in the opposite direction towards the hallway that led to the elevators.

She heard a familiar voice call out behind her, "Grace, wait!"

Gracie hurried her pace and almost cried in relief when she reached her hand in the elevator and got in just before the door were about to close. Gracie quickly pressed the button to make the elevator doors close once again, but just before they did, she saw Juice round the corner. Their eyes met once more.

Juice stared at her with an intensity that she had never seen before. She barely heard him whisper, "Grace."

Gracie just stared back silently, meeting his gaze, until the elevator doors finally closed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again for the follows, favorites and reviews! I'm having so much fun writing this, and all of the positive feedback is just icing on the cake! I hope you don't think I'm going too slow with these two lovebirds. I intend on picking up the pace a bit in the next chapter. Hope you enjoy and please review!  
**

Chapter 6

Six hours later, Gracie was finally clocking out of work and making her way to the parking lot. Since seeing Juice, the rest of her shift had thankfully been incredibly busy. The man having a heart attack, the woman having a stroke, and the kid with the broken collar bone had all kept her body racing and her mind focused. But as she packed up her locker and walked down the hallway towards to exit, Gracie's thoughts drifted back to Juice and the way she had behaved when she saw him. She was humiliated.

She thought about how she had literally run away from Juice when he tried to get her attention. _God Grace, what are you, a 12 year old?_ She felt like such a coward. Seeing Juice walk into the waiting room felt like a punch in the gut. Over the past several days, Grace had been hoping that whenever she inevitably saw him again, she would feel anger, annoyance, or even better, nothing at all. But the moment he walked through the door, the same warm feelings that had overtaken her the day they met filled her whole body once again, replacing the sadness that had followed her around like a shadow, and it felt so fucking good. Then, almost instantly, that warmth changed into overwhelming emptiness. _He never called. He doesn't want you. _She couldn't think clearly after that. She just knew that she had to get away. Juice had already rejected her by not calling, and that was devastating enough. She knew she couldn't handle him delivering the rejection in person. So she ran.

She stopped walking for a moment, ran her hands through her hair, and sighed. Juice didn't deserve that. _He's a nice guy_. _It's not his fault that he's not interested. You can't help how you feel, or don't feel, about someone. Just because I felt something that isn't there, doesn't mean he did anything wrong. And he tried to talk to me today, and I lost my shit, behaved like a child, and completely embarrassed myself...again._

Gracie walked out of St. Thomas and headed for the employee parking lot. She was more than ready to go home, down a bottle of wine, take a bath, and pretend that this day never happened. She was looking down, digging through her purse searching for her keys. When she found them, Grace raised her eyes to the lot and immediately stopped dead in her tracks. An all too familiar black motorcycle was parked next to her Honda. Her heart started pounding and she fought with everything she had against the urge to run in the opposite direction. Juice was leaning against the hood of her car, looking nervously around the parking lot, smoking a cigarette. The moment he saw her, he quickly threw the cigarette on the ground, shoved his hands in the pockets of his kutte, and walked towards her.

* * *

Juice had been sitting outside of St. Thomas for almost two hours. He wasn't sure when Grace's shift was over, but he wasn't going to risk missing her leave and lose the chance to try and explain himself. The last two weeks of his life had been fucking miserable. It only took two days for him to regret deleting her number from his phone. He couldn't stop thinking about her; how sweet she was whenever she got embarrassed and her whole face blushed, how easy it had been to talk to her about anything and everything, how she made him laugh without even trying. And of course, how fucking gorgeous she was.

God, just thinking about her eating that fucking donut made him as hard as a god damn teenager. He was constantly thinking about her unbelievable sea-green eyes, the way her ass looked in her running pants, the flat stomach that curved down into hips that would fit his hands so perfectly, and those tits…_god, I bet they're fucking gorgeous too. _In fact, the only way that he had gotten off since the day he met her, either by himself or with a croweater, had been to close his eyes and imagine that it was her hands working him, her mouth sucking him off. He was pathetic, he knew that, but he had never had it this fucking bad for a woman in his life.

He had driven by St. Thomas so many times in the last few days trying to convince himself to find her and talk to her. Nothing had really changed. He still knew with absolute certainty that Grace was too good for him, that she was better off without him. But he honestly didn't care anymore. For some reason, he was totally lost in this girl that he barely knew, and he was too selfish to care about anything except seeing her again. It hurt too god damn bad. But one constant thought always kept him from finding her. _The way she looked at me that day, like I was actually worth a damn. No woman has ever looked at me like that before. The minute she finds out about the MC, that look will change. She'll see me like the others do, like biker trash. It's killing me to know that she's here, right here in Charming, and I can't have her, but it would fucking destroy me to look at her and see disappointment in her eyes, or worse, fear. All I have now is a memory, but at least it's a fucking perfect memory. I'm not going to ruin that. I can't._

Juice had rushed to the hospital that day with the rest of his brothers, terrified for Jax's son and furious that someone had the balls to think that they could go against the Sons and deal drugs in Charming, especially to the pregnant ex-wife of their fucking VP. He was totally unprepared when he rushed into that waiting room and saw Grace just standing there, staring at him. Seeing her again, right there in front of him, he just froze in place and momentarily forgot how to breathe. He couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over her body. She was still so fucking pretty, even in her uniform. Her hair fell in loose waves just past her shoulders and he could see now that it was definitely red, but dark and coppery, like some of the leaves that would change in the autumn on the trees in Queens when he was a kid. It was beautiful. He looked at her face and noticed that her porcelain skin, while still gorgeous, looked paler than last time he saw her and that she was a little thinner than he remembered. She just looked… tired. When he finally made contact with those green eyes he had been dreaming about every night, Juice was horrified at what he saw staring back at him. _Hurt. Oh Christ, I fucking hurt her._

Grace turned away from him and quickly walked away. He called out for her but wasn't surprised when she ignored him and kept on walking. Juice felt like he had been shot in the chest with a 12 gauge. This whole time he had been thinking about how much he missed her, how much he wanted her, how much he was hurting. He never thought in a million years that he was making Grace feel the same way, that she would ever actually care that much. He had talked to her for hours, asked for her number, kissed her fucking cheek…and never called her. _I am the world's biggest asshole._

Juice ran after her. He wasn't thinking. He had no idea what he was going to say or do, but he was desperate to try and erase that sad, broken look from her eyes that he knew he was responsible for. She was already in the elevator by the time he caught up. He called out to her and made eye contact one more time before the elevator doors closed. She hadn't said anything. She just stared back at him with a completely blank expression that fucking gutted him. He was about to run down the stairs and try to catch up to her when he heard Chibs behind him.

"Everything alright, Juicey?"

"Yeah, man. Everything's fine. I just gotta take care of something."

"It's gonna have to wait, boyo. We found out it was one of Darby's guys that sold to Wendy. Gonna roll up on The Hairy Dog and back up Jackie boy. You with us?"

_Fuck. _"Of course, brother. Let's go."

Juice went with Chibs and Bobby to The Hairy Dog and stood guard for their VP while Jax beat the shit out of the cock sucking Nord who had sold crank to Wendy. As soon as they left, Juice got on his bike and rode around Charming trying to clear his head. He found himself on auto-pilot, driving back to St. Thomas. He drove around the parking lot until he found what he was looking for; the ugliest, rustiest old Honda that he had ever seen. It was just as bad as Grace had described. He sighed in relief. _She's still here._ He turned off his bike and lit up a cigarette. He had nowhere else to be and wasn't leaving until he got a chance to talk to Grace and somehow make this shit right.

A couple of hours and a half a pack later, Juice looked up and finally saw her.

* * *

Gracie didn't move as Juice walked up to her. He was staring right at her as he took long purposeful strides and crossed the short distance to where she stood. When he stopped a few feet in front of her, Grace could see the sad, almost pleading look on his face.

"Grace, listen…"

She put her hand up to silence him and interrupt whatever he was going to say.

"Juice, wait, please. Just let me get this out before you say anything…I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

He was totally lost. He was ready for her to yell at him, to be angry or pissed off, but she sounded as sweet and nice as ever. What the fuck would she have to be sorry about?

"Grace, you have nothing to apologize for."

She just shook her head. "Yes, I do. Listen, I'm sorry I freaked out earlier today. I was…I don't know…I guess I was just surprised to see you. I, uh, I kind of expected to hear from you, you know, before today, and I just didn't know what to say to you and sort of panicked. And you tried to talk to me and I was weird and childish and stupid, and ignored you, and I'm sorry."

Juice took a small step towards her and reached his hand out to hers. "Grace, I'm so sorry."

She quickly took a step back and avoided his touch. She couldn't handle that right now.

"No, Juice. Stop. You don't need to say that, really. I get it. I do. You didn't do anything wrong. Listen, I had a great time that day, the day we met. I really liked spending time with you. I'm not that great at letting people in, you know? And I've never really make a connection with someone as fast as I felt like I did with you. And I guess I just read too much into it, maybe tried to see something that wasn't really there."

Everything she said was killing him.

"Sweetheart, please listen…"

"Juice, please let me finish. Looking back on it, you were nothing but friendly to me that morning. You never did or said anything that should have suggested anything more than friendship, and I think I just let myself get the wrong impression…but that's not your problem. It's mine. So, again, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to make you feel bad or guilty or anything. You're not interested in me like that, and that's totally fine. You were really nice to me, and you don't need to apologize for anything."

Juice was fucking floored. _Not interested? How the hell could she think he's not interested? Doesn't she understand how fucking perfect she is?_

He had fucked things up so royally, but he had to try and set her straight.

"Grace, you didn't read anything wrong. I like you. I really like you…"

"You don't need to say that. I'm not that fragile, Juice. I get that you're trying to be nice, and I appreciate that. I do. But I'm a big girl. I've liked guys that weren't that into me before. It's OK."

_How can she say that? Not into her? I'm fucking obsessed with her! And who the fuck are these crazy assholes that weren't 'that into her'?_

He reached for her and, before she could step away, grabbed both of her arms. "Grace, I like you, I…"

"You would have called."

Juice went to say something, anything, but no words came out. He released the hold on her arms and his hands fell helplessly to his side.

Grace just shrugged her shoulders and gave him a weak smile. "If you liked me, you would have called."

He just stood there, speechless, and completely defeated. How could he possibly explain all the reasons he hadn't called? How could he convince her that it had everything to do with him and nothing with her? What the fuck would he say? _It's not you Grace, it's me. I'm the fucked-up member of an MC and your perfect, and I didn't call because you're too good for me and once you get to know me, you'll probably hate me. _He lowered his eyes and stared down at his boots. Nothing he said to her right now was going to work. She was certain he was just trying to be nice, and everything he said was going to sound like a line of bullshit.

Grace couldn't help but feel a little bad for the obviously contrite guy in front of her. He was trying so hard. Not even a small part of her was angry with him. He actually had made her feel a little better. Juice may not feel the same way about her as she did for him, but he obviously cared enough to be considerate of her feelings.

"Listen, Juice. I meant it. I had a great time the morning we met. And despite how I behaved earlier, I'm really happy I saw you today. The truth is I don't have very many friends here yet. And, if nothing else, I would really like it if we could be friends."

Juice's head snapped up and he stared at Grace. This woman would never cease to amaze him. She wanted to be his friend. He had been a complete dick by leaving her hanging for two weeks, and she was still being nice.

"You want to be friends? Really?"

Gracie flashed a small but genuine smile. "Well, there are only so many people in the universe that I can talk to about all the nerdy shit I love. I have no one here in Charming that will watch Star Trek and play Halo with me. And Tara has already threatened to destroy my comic collection if I ever attempt to explain a time-traveling temporal paradox to her again."

Juice laughed, really laughed, for the first time in two weeks, and it felt fucking amazing. He couldn't stop smiling at the beautiful girl in front of him as he thought about what she said. Honestly, Juice didn't have any friends. He had his brothers who were his family, Gemma who was like a mother to him, and the croweaters who were just occasional fucks. That was all he had in the world. And now, the woman of his fucking dreams was standing shyly in front of him, wanting to be a part of his crazy, messed up life. He knew being Grace's friend would never be good enough for him, not even close. But it was a start.

"You know what, sweetheart? I would love it if we could be friends."

Grace tried to quiet the little voice inside of her that shattered when Juice agreed to be friends. A small part of her was hoping he would keep trying to convince her that he wanted something more, even if she knew it was a lie. But she meant what she said. She cared about him…a lot. As much as it would hurt, she wanted Juice in her life, even if all he could give her was friendship.

Gracie hoped that her smile hid any disappointment she was feeling. "OK, friend. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

Juice responded a little too quickly. "Absolutely nothing."

She kept her voice light and attempted to quiet any nervousness she was feeling. "Well, how about a friendly movie night at my house? I'll supply popcorn and beer, and you can bring a pizza. No weirdness allowed. What do you say?"

Juice's smile widened. "That sounds pretty fucking perfect, Grace."

Grace got Juice's number this time and promised to text him her address. She walked over to her car and got into the driver's seat. She turned the car on and rolled down her window as Juice put one hand on the top of her car and leaned down to talk to her.

"Listen, Grace. I'm totally planning on coming over tomorrow. I'm really excited about it, actually. But, uh, sometimes shit comes up, you know, with the garage, and I have to work late. I don't think that will happen but I just wanted you to know. If it happens, I'm not bailing or anything. I really want us to hang out, but just in case…"

Gracie knew he was talking about his club business and she hated how uncomfortable he seemed. Since learning about the Sons of Anarchy and what they really were, Grace had come to terms with his involvement, and she wanted to put his mind at ease. He didn't have to lie to her.

"Hey, um, don't be mad or anything, but you know my friend Tara? She used to date Jackson Teller. She told me a little about the Sons of Anarchy, your MC. No details or anything, but enough. I don't really understand it, but I don't have to. It's none of my business. You're a really good guy, Juice. I know that. Nothing else really matters to me, OK? You don't have to tell me anything about it. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to hide it either."

Juice's jaw dropped. He didn't know what to say. He was staring into Grace's eyes, trying to detect even the tiniest glimpse of fear, or disappointment, or judgment. But it wasn't there. She was just staring back at him with the same kind eyes that he had become addicted to and offering him a small reassuring smile. She totally blew him away.

He said the only thing he could think of. "Thank you."

She just nodded her head. "Ok, well, I'll text you. See you tomorrow night."

Juice watched as she backed her car out of the lot and he stared at her tail lights until they faded from view. He sat down on his Dyna and started her up. As he heard the soothing sound of the engine roaring to life, he took a deep breath and smiled. The pieces of himself that had shattered two weeks ago, when he was sure that he could never be with Grace, were finally starting to fuse back together. She knew about the MC. She knew and she didn't care. It hadn't changed anything for her, and that realization freed him from the empty feeling in his chest and replaced it with something similar to…hope.

Juice knew he had a lot of work to do. He had fucked up with Grace and he had no idea how to fix it. But he would fix it. He had to. Because whatever he had to go through, whatever hoops he had to jump through, whatever it took, he knew without a doubt, that it was going to be fucking worth it.

Grace Anderson was going to be his girl. She just didn't know it yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everybody! Hope you like this story and love these two characters as much as I do! This is a pretty fluffy chapter, but I think Juice and Gracie deserve it **** :) Please review and tell me what you think...**

Chapter 7

Grace and Juice had been texting all day. After their talk in the parking lot of St. Thomas, Gracie felt a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Sure, she knew she had feeling for Juice that he didn't return, but at least he was going to be in her life. Maybe she was a little pathetic, but at this point a little bit of Juice was better than nothing. When she got to work that morning, she texted him her address and asked if he'd be able to come over around nine o'clock after her shift at the hospital was over. Juice responded almost immediately.

_Definitely. I'll be there. Can't wait to see you.-J_

Gracie grinned like an idiot at her phone. God, he was sweet.

_Me too. Really looking forward to it. Are you riding your bike over?-G_

_Yeah, it's all I have. Don't own a cage. Why? –J_

It took Grace a minute to realize that a "cage" probably meant a car.

_Realized I asked you to bring over the pizza last night. Might be a little hard on a motorcycle.-G_

_I can handle it. I'm a very capable man. –J_

She smirked and rolled her eyes. She could just picture him typing with that adorable, cocky grin on his face.

_I have no doubt about that, Ortiz. But I don't want you to wreck because you're trying to balance my dinner in your lap. I'll just order it before you get here. What do you like on your pizza? –G_

_What do you like?-J_

_Ham and pineapple with extra pineapple.-G_

_Please tell me you're joking.-J_

_Serious as a heart attack.- G_

_I'm seriously reconsidering this friendship. I'm a New Yorker. We don't do fruit on pizza. It's wrong. WRONG!- J_

_No shouting allowed, Juice. I'll get my own pizza. What does the New Yorker like then?-G_

_Pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms, like normal people.-J_

_Fine, pizza snob. Be boring.-G_

A few hours later Grace heard her phone beep again and smiled when she saw Juice's name on the screen.

_So what movie are we watching?-J_

_Thought I'd surprise you.-G_

_Well, considering you like pineapple on your pizza, I'm not sure I trust your judgment.-J_

_Just for that we're either watching Grease or The Notebook.-G_

_Yeah, this time you have to be joking. Really, like, you have to be.-J_

_Yes, this time I'm joking.-G_

_Thank god. There's still hope for us.-J_

A couple of minutes later Juice sent another text.

_Just so you know, even if you made me eat fruity pizza and watch a chick flick, I would still come over.-J_

* * *

She looked at the clock for the third time in five minutes. _8:47pm. _Juice was supposed to be at the house at 9:00 for their movie night and Gracie was anxious to say the least. As soon as she got off work two hours previously, she drove to the grocery store and picked up some microwavable popcorn and a 12 pack of beer. She then went home as fast as she could. When she got there, she stripped out of her scrubs and took a five minute shower. Afterwards, she stood wrapped in a towel staring at her closet, trying to decide what to wear for the evening. Reminding herself that this wasn't a date, just two friends getting together to hang out, she grabbed a navy tank top and her favorite pair of dark blue skinny jeans, trying to keep it very casual. She also decided to skip her makeup, perfume, and hair straightener. _Just friends, Gracie. Not a date. Just friends._

Gracie then went through the house and cleaned each room that Juice may go into as quickly as possible, throwing dirty dishes in the dishwasher, hiding her dirty laundry in her closet, and vacuuming the carpets. Grace had almost overslept that morning because she had been far too excited to sleep the night before and Tara had slept all day since she had to work the night shift that night, so neither woman had had time to clean the house. Because of their different schedules, Grace hadn't had a chance to talk to Tara since yesterday in the neonatal unit, which meant that she hadn't yet told Tara about talking to Juice and inviting him over. Grace hated keeping something so huge from Tara, but she was more than a little worried about her reaction and decided to avoid the conversation and inevitable argument for as long as possible. After making certain that the house was in order, she ordered the pizza, popped the popcorn, and checked to make sure the beer had gotten cold in the fridge. She was looking at the shelf under the TV stand picking out some DVDs for the night when she heard the rumble of a motorcycle outside.

Gracie's heart started pounding as soon as she heard the knock on the door. She reached for the door knob, pausing to take a few deep, relaxing breaths. _Calm down Grace, just friends. Calm down._ She opened the door to find Juice smiling on her door step, wearing what she was quickly learning was his usual outfit of cargo pants, a tight t-shirt, and of course, his kutte. Grace had to bite her lower lip to keep from sighing. _God, does he always have to look so fucking sexy?_

"Hey, you made it. Come on in."

Juice wondered if there would ever be a day when the sight of Grace Anderson didn't take his breath away. He had spent the whole day at TM under the hood of a broken down Volvo trying to focus on the bad transmission, but unable to think about anything except Grace. He loved her sweet, funny texts and couldn't stop looking at the clock on the wall, counting down the minutes until she got off work and he could go over to her house. He had been nervously pacing around the clubhouse for the last hour, trying to remember how to behave with and talk to a woman that wasn't a croweater. He was probably in high school the last time he had an actual, honest to god date with anyone. And finally here she stood at the door welcoming him in her bare feet, tight worn out jeans that showed all of her amazing curves, and a tank top that was cut just low enough to show the very top edges of a black lace bra. It didn't look like she had any makeup on, but she didn't need it. Her sea green eyes, full lips, and perfect skin were gorgeous all on their own.

Juice walked into the living room and leaned in, giving Grace a small kiss on her cheek, and almost got high off the barely there scent of vanilla on her skin and coconut on her still damp hair. She smelled fucking amazing.

"Hey, Grace. Thanks again for inviting me over. You look really nice tonight."

Grace tried to ignore the dizzy feeling that the little kiss had given her. She smiled up at him. "Thanks Juice. That's sweet of you to say. Come on it. Make yourself comfortable. The pizza's not here yet, but there's popcorn on the table. Do you want a beer?"

Juice toed off his shoes and then took off his kutte and laid it over the arm of the big gray sectional. "Sure, I'd love one. Thanks."

Gracie got two beers out of the fridge and handed one to Juice. "Pizza should be here any minute, and then we can start the movie. How was work today?"

Juice couldn't remember the last time anyone had asked him about his day. No one cared enough. He sat down on the couch and told her about work at the garage, and she did the same, telling him all about the patients that made their way through the ER that day. As they caught up on work and their days, Juice could feel himself starting to relax into her couch. He didn't understand it. They weren't doing anything special, just sitting in a living room talking about everyday shit, drinking beers. Maybe it was the sound of her voice or her simple fucking presence, but he realized he felt calm, his brain felt…quiet, and he knew that there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be.

The knock on the door signaled that the pizza had arrived. Juice jumped up to get to the door first, taking the food and handing a wad of cash to the delivery guy.

Gracie smiled at the gesture. "Thanks Juice. You didn't have to pay though. It was my idea to get together tonight."

Grace may not have realized that this was a date, but Juice sure as hell did. There was no way he was going to let her pay. He just shrugged. "No problem, Grace. I wanted to. Besides, you're supplying the beer."

When Grace took the pizza boxes and walked to the kitchen, Juice caught a glimpse of what looked like the top of a flower tattoo on her back between her shoulder blades cropping out above the back of her tank top.

"I didn't know you had any ink."

Grace sat the pizza boxes on the kitchen table and got some plates out of the cabinet.

"Yeah, not as much as you though, just the two on my back."

Juice walked over to wear she was standing. "Can I see?"

Gracie bit down on her bottom lip. "Um, sure."

Juice placed his hands on Gracie's hips, applying just a little pressure and slowly turned her around so that her back was to him. Leaving one hand on her hip, he used the other to pull down the back of her top a few inches to better see her tattoos. She had a perfect red rose blossom directly in the middle of her shoulder blades and a set of dog tags slightly to the left of the rose. Juice couldn't stop his fingers from tracing the lines of the rose petals and feeling her beautiful skin.

Grace forgot how to breathe. She tried to form coherent thoughts, but all she could focus on was the sensation of Juice's calloused fingers gently touching her back.

"These are beautiful, Grace."

"Thanks. I, uh…um…" The hand on her hip tightened slightly and she had to fight the urge to back up a few inches and rub herself all over the front of his body. "I got the rose when I was 18. My mom, she died when I was a kid. Her name was Rose. And those are my dad's dog tags. I got them a few days after I found out he passed away."

The day they met Grace had told him that both of her parents were dead, but she never went into details. He slowly took his hand off her back, letting her shirt go back into place, and ran his fingers down the side of her ribcage and back to her hip. He hated knowing that someone as sweet and kind as Grace had ever suffered, had ever grieved or experienced loss. He slowly turned her around facing him and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her in for a hug.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, sweetheart."

Grace was stunned, both at his words and the emotion behind them. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and sank into him, letting her face rest on his shoulder. After a moment, she pulled back just enough to look up at his face. His brown eyes were staring back at her with warmth and concern. She blinked back the tears that were forming and shook her head.

When Grace backed out of his hold a little more, he reluctantly dropped his arms to his sides. He stared into her eyes and tears threatening to spill over, at the blush on her cheeks, and the lips reddened from her biting down on them while trying to keep from crying. He was about to reach out for her when she abruptly turned towards to table and picked up a napkin and a plate.

She tried her best to keep her voice from cracking. "Come on, Ortiz. I'm starving and we've got a movie to watch."

* * *

They both loaded up their plates with food and made their way back to the living room and onto the couch. Grace took a huge bite of her pineapple pizza. She looked over at Juice and almost choked when she started laughing at the expression on his face.

"Grace, that shit is disgusting. It's fucking fruit on fucking pizza."

"Oh, shut up and eat your pepperoni, New York."

Gracie got up and tried to hide her smile as she laid two DVDs down on the coffee table. "OK, Juice, since you're the guest, you can pick the movie."

Juice looked down at the DVDs…Grease and The fucking Notebook.

"Oh, no. Hell no. Grace, you said…"

She couldn't hold in her giggle. "Just teasing. No chick flicks for the big bad biker."

She pulled three more DVDs off the shelf and sat them in front on him. "These are your real options for the night.

Juice stared down at his choices and smiled: Alien, Ghostbusters, and Back to the Future.

"Fuck Grace, I love all these movies, but I haven't seen this one forever." He picked up Alien and handed it to her. She put it in the DVD player, dimmed the lights and sat back down on the couch.

Juice looked over at Grace. He was sitting on a couch, eating pizza, drinking beer, and watching Alien, all with the sexiest, sweetest woman he had ever met sitting right beside him. This may be the best god damn night of his life.

* * *

When the movie ended Grace and Juice were both wide awake and up for another one, so they decided on Back to the Future next. But about the time when Marty McFly was about to take the DeLorean back to 1985, Juice looked over at Grace and realized that she had fallen asleep. She was curled up in a little ball with her feet on the couch and her head was leaning back, facing him. Juice quietly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. He scooted towards Grace to reach the blanket thrown over the back of the couch by Grace's head, planning to cover her up and make his way back to the clubhouse. But as he pulled it down, Grace leaned towards him and curled into his side, her head nuzzling into his neck and her hand gently grabbing his t-shirt. When he looked down and realized that she was still sleeping he smiled. He used his free arm to cover them both with the blanket. Then he leaned back to lay his head on the arm of the couch, wrapping his arm around Grace and pulling her down with him. She whimpered slightly as she readjusted her position, snuggling down into Juice's side and wrapping an arm around his waist. He just held her tight to his chest and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. Juice smiled down at Grace before closing his eyes, one thought running through his mind…

_Yeah, without a doubt, the best night of my life._


	8. Chapter 8

**Over 30 favorites and almost 60 followers! You guys are amazing! It means so much to me that someone out there likes my story. Please continue to review and let me know how I'm doing. Here's some more Juice and Gracie…**

Chapter 8

Early morning sunlight streamed through the cheap venetian blinds in the living room as Grace started to stir. Still half asleep and with her eyes still closed, she was trying to figure out why the hell it was so hot in her bedroom and why her pillow felt as hard as a rock. When she tried to roll over and stretch, she realized there was an unfamiliar weight draped across her back. Gracie's eyes flew open and she was suddenly wide awake.

Her eyes shifted around the room and she took a moment to get her bearings. She was still in the living room, still on the couch…and Juice was underneath of her. _Oh shit. We must have fallen asleep. And apparently, I'm even obsessed with him when I sleep because I'm wrapped around him like a fucking octopus. _She was wedged tightly between Juice and the couch with her head on his chest, both of his arms holding her loosely, her arm draped across his waist, and her right leg bent slightly and nestled between both of his. Just for a moment, Gracie let herself relax back into the arms of the man beside her. _I may never get to experience this again, may never get this close. Just going to enjoy it, just for a second. _She took in everything; the rise and fall of his chest beneath her head, the leather and cigarettes she smelled on his t-shirt, the strength and definition of his abs beneath her hand, the soft breathing that she could barely feel on the top of her head. And she could hear his heartbeat. Slow, steady, and rhythmic, it sounded like music and instantly became one of her favorite sounds in the world. She shut her eyes once more, trying to commit it all to memory.

Gracie knew she had to move. She didn't want Juice to wake up and realize that she had wrapped herself completely around him in the night. Slowly and quietly, she tried to shift and raise herself up when she suddenly felt the arms around her tighten and pull her back down.

Juice didn't know how long he had been awake, because his present reality seemed way too much like a dream for him to tell the difference. Grace was still there, still tucked in close beside him. Her head was resting beneath his chin and her hair was tickling his neck. Her soft breasts were pressed against his chest and her leg was resting between his own. She unconsciously bent her leg and rubbed it dangerously close to his groin, and he fought hard against the urge to thrust upwards against her stomach and relieve some of the building tension. He couldn't move, couldn't risk waking her, because then it would be over. This perfect fucking dream of a moment would be over and he wasn't ready for that. When he felt Grace start to move, he instinctually pulled her back down and held her closer.

Juice's voice was soft and still groggy with sleep. "Stop moving. It's too early and I'm too comfortable."

Gracie could feel her cheeks blush. She grinned and buried her face into Juice's chest one more time. _Oh well, too late now. Guess he caught me. _Juice's grip loosened around her just enough to allow Grace to lift her head up and look at him. He was staring down at her with a small smile on his face.

When Juice looked at Grace, her beautiful eyes still sleepy, her wavy copper hair sticking out in odd directions, and her face completely flushed, only one thought went through his mind. _Damn, I could get used to her face being the first thing I see every morning._

Their faces were just inches apart as they stared silently at each other smiling. Juice took one of his hands from Grace's back and used it to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Good morning, Grace." The greeting came out as a whisper.

Grace bit down on her lower lip as her smile widened. She said to him just as softly, "Good morning, Juice."

In that moment Juice couldn't stop himself from running his fingers over some of the loose red waves touching Grace's shoulder. Their smiles slowly faded as the air between them got heavy and their gazes grew more intense. Juice moved his fingers from her hair to her mouth and used his thumb to gently pull her lower lip from between her teeth. He ran the same thumb over the now reddened, slightly swollen lip and finally felt how fucking soft it was. He had no control over his hand as it moved it to the back of Grace's neck and put just enough pressure on it to pull her slightly closer.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He was going to be her friend. He was going to spend time with her. She would grow to trust him, depend on him, need him. He was going to romance her, prove to her that he could be the man that she deserved. And then, after a while, when the time was right, he was going to make his move.

But fuck that. He needed to kiss her. Now.

Grace's heart was racing and her breath had quickened. She couldn't mask the need in her voice. "Juice…"

He was about to close the distance between them and finally get a taste of the woman he wanted more than anything on the planet, but just as his lips barely brushed Grace's, he heard the door behind them slam shut and a woman's voice scream out.

"WHAT THE FUCK, GRACIE JANE?"

* * *

Gracie instantly jumped off the couch and put a hand to her chest. Her heart was already pounding from whatever had almost happened between her and Juice, but now Tara had almost given her a fucking heart attack.

"Jesus Christ, Tara! You scared the shit out of me!"

Tara's voice was venomous as she gestured to the man on her sofa who was now sitting upright trying to catch his breath.

"So, is this him? The guy? The great fucking guy who liked you so much that he didn't call you for weeks?"

Grace tried her best to stay calm. "Tara, stop it."

"Jesus, Gracie! Did you not listen to one fucking thing that I told you? What the hell are you thinking?"

Grace looked down at Juice and the stunned and confused expression on his face. She was completely humiliated.

She tried to keep her voice from shaking. "Tara, take a deep breath and look at me. Fucking look at me. Please."

Tara did as she asked. She took a huge breath and then stared at her best friend. Grace's face was completely red, her lower lip was quivering, and her eyes were full of tears about to spill over.

Tara looked down again at the guy on her couch who hadn't moved a muscle and then back to Gracie. She couldn't believe that she had just yelled at Gracie like that, and in front of the guy that was not only the center of Gracie's whole world, but one of Jax's fucking brothers. She had lost her fucking mind. Tara was overwhelmed with guilt and embarrassment. She ran both of her hands over her face and wished to god she could go back in time and stop the last 45 seconds from ever happening.

"Fuck, Gracie, I'm so sorry." She looked back down at the Son in her living room. "I'm really sorry."

Tara practically ran to her room and slammed the door.

Gracie looked down at Juice apologetically. "God, I'm so sorry. I must have fallen asleep and I didn't even think about Tara coming home, and I didn't tell her you were coming over, and I can't believe she was being like that and I'm so fucking embarrassed…"

Gracie knew she was rambling but had no idea how to stop. Juice stood up and took both of Grace's hands in his. She tried to look down at the floor, but he wasn't having it.

"Grace, hey, calm down. Sweetheart, look at me."

She raised her head and tried her best to meet his gaze.

"Babe, you have nothing to be sorry for and you shouldn't be embarrassed."

Her head was spinning. She felt awful that Juice had to witness Tara's rant, but she felt even worse for Tara. She knew from the look on her best friend's face before she bolted from the room that she really was sorry and was obviously going through some shit. She couldn't just let Tara sit back in that room without knowing what was going on with her.

"Hey, listen, can you, uh, give me a few minutes? I'm going to go talk to her. I promise, I won't take long, I just have to…I need to…"

Juice squeezed Grace's hands. "Take your time, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."

Gracie gave him a small smile before turning to walk down the hallway.

* * *

Grace didn't knock before opening the door to Tara's bedroom. Tara was sitting on the side of the bed, still in her scrubs, holding her head in her hands. She looked up when she heard the door open, and Grace couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Tara looked completely broken.

Tara was too ashamed to look Gracie in the eye so she just stared back at her hands. "I am so fucking sorry. I had no right…I was completely out of line…I just…God, what the fuck is wrong with me?"

Grace went to the bed and sat down a few inches from Tara. "Doc, I know you're sorry. I know you're sorry and I forgive you. I haven't had a chance to talk to you since yesterday, but I ran into Juice and we…worked some stuff out, I guess. We're going to try and be friends. He came over to watch some movies and we fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about this. I know how you feel about the MC and…"

Tara interrupted her. "Stop it Gracie. Stop it right now."

Tara finally looked up and directly into Gracie's face. "Don't you dare apologize to me, Gracie Jane. You did nothing wrong. I was a complete bitch out there and nothing justifies that."

Gracie just sighed and reached her hand out to smooth Tara's hair. "You want to tell me what happened to you, Doc?"

Tara laid back on her bed and covered her face with one of her arms. "God, Gracie, where do I start? The minute I saw Jax before Abel's surgery, I knew that I was still in love with him. Abel is his little boy's name. The surgery went as well as could be expected, but his prognosis is still so fucking bad. When I saw Jackson after the surgery, all I wanted to do was comfort him, but when I hugged him I realized that he was covered in blood…"

Grace gasped, but Tara shook her head and kept going. "Not his own. But seeing him like that reminded me of all the violence and the danger, all the reasons that I left him in the first place. After he left, I realized I needed to check on Abel's mom Wendy, Jax's ex-wife, to see how she was doing and give her a little update on her son, but when I got to her room she was seizing."

Grace shuddered. Could this story get any worse?

Tara just sighed. "I know. Abel was premature because Wendy overdosed on crank. Since he was born, she seemed like she wanted to go to rehab and get clean. Try to be a mom, you know? But apparently someone snuck her something in and she used."

"Jesus, Tara…"

"Oh, wait. It gets better. I was finally going to go home and escape when I had a run in with Gemma, Jax's mom. She's hated me since I was 19 and she went out of her way to let me know that her feelings haven't changed much in the last ten years."

Tara sat back up and held one of Grace's hands. "So, I'm sleep deprived, exhausted, and had one of the worst fucking nights of my life. And then I pull in the driveway and see a motorcycle in front of the house and I lost it. I took all of my frustration and anxiety and put it all on you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Grace pulled Tara into a hug. "It's OK, Doc."

Tara pulled back to look at Grace. "No, it isn't. Listen to me, Gracie. My life is completely fucked up and crazy. And if you get involved with a Son, like I did, and your life gets ruined too, it will be all my fault. I asked you to move to Charming with me. I would be totally to blame. You're my family. I love you so much, and I couldn't stand it if you ever ended up like me. It would kill me, Gracie."

Gracie just shook her head. "I'm a big girl, Knowles. Any decisions I make about my life, be it moving to Charming or becoming hopelessly obsessed with a biker, are _my own_. I know you've always felt like you had to take care of me, and I appreciate that, but I'm not your responsibility. I can take care of myself, OK?"

Tara nodded. "OK."

Gracie stood up and moved to the door. "Juice is still here. I have to go and say…something to him. Are you going to be alright?"

Tara flashed a weak smile. "Of course I'm alright. Go talk to the boy."

Grace opened the door and was about to walk through it when she stopped and looked over her shoulder back at Tara.

"It's still you and me against the world, Knowles."

Tara wiped a single tear from her cheek and nodded. "Always, Gracie Jane."

* * *

Gracie opened her front door and saw Juice, back in his boots and kutte, leaning against his motorcycle smoking a cigarette. She was so relieved. Part of her was sure he would have left by now.

Juice threw his cigarette to the ground as soon as he saw Grace. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his kutte and walked slowly towards her. The whole time he's been waiting outside for her, all he could think about was that kiss. _Well, that almost kiss._ He could still feel her breath on his lips and how soft her lips felt against his own, if only for a fraction of a second.

He wanted to grab her, pin her against the side of the house, and finish what they started. But unsure of what had gone on with her roommate, he approached her cautiously.

"So, is everything alright in there?"

"Yeah, so, that's Tara. She'll be fine. She just had a really bad night at work. And seeing you here just kind of set her off. She, uh, kind of has a little issue with the Sons of Anarchy."

Juice just smirked. "Yeah, I kinda got that impression."

"Anyway, sorry again. I had a really good time last night. I can't believe I fell asleep on you. I'm sure you had somewhere else you'd have rather been than trapped on my couch all night."

Juice shook his head. "No, I didn't. Listen Grace, about this morning…"

Gracie quickly interrupted him. "Yeah, sorry about that too. I know we're just friends. I get it though. You were still kind of asleep and I was basically laying right on top of you and…"

"No, Grace. Enough." He couldn't take it anymore. He was done pretending. Done with holding back. If he let this go on for one more god damn minute he was going to fucking explode.

Closing the distance between them, Juice reached out and grabbed Grace's hips, pulling her close so that her body was pressed against his. He took one of his hands and placed it on the back of Grace's neck, tangling it in her hair, and anchoring her head so that she was forced to look him directly in the eye.

"Don't you dare say that I didn't know what I was doing this morning. I wanted you. I wanted you just like I've wanted you every fucking second since I met you, do you hear me?"

Before she had a chance to respond, Juice's lips crashed down onto Grace. He knew it was too hard, knew he was being rough, but every frustration, every desire, every emotion that he had felt for Grace since meeting her was poured into that kiss and he was incapable of backing off. He wrapped his arm around her waist and tried to somehow draw her even closer to his body. He felt completely out of control and didn't give a fuck. He couldn't stop himself from biting down on that lip, that fucking lip, that he had felt earlier that morning and sucking it into his mouth. And when Grace gasped, he didn't hesitate to attack her mouth with his tongue, finally tasting how fucking sweet he knew that she would be.

His lungs were burning. Juice ended the kiss, desperate for air, but never loosened his hold on Gracie. He took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes. Grace was staring back at him, eyes out of focus and hazy. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen and slightly bruised from the force of the kiss. She was panting and gasping for air just like him. He looked back at her eyes, her beautiful fucking eyes, that were now staring back at his own and he could see the shock, confusion, and desire radiating from them as she tried to catch her breath.

His Grace. His sweet, kind, smart, beautiful Grace. Juice took both of his hands and placed them on the sides of her face. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs before leaning down and kissing her once again. But this time was different. All the frenzied urgency was gone and had been replaced with passion and gentleness. This time he took his time. He took in every sensation from the small, sweet kisses. Memorized every sound she made as he made them longer, slower. He felt her hands travel up his chest and grab hold of the front of his kutte like a lifeline. He carefully ran his tongue along her lips, begging permission for entry this time, and was rewarded when she parted her lips and he slowly sank into her. He tasted every inch of her mouth and groaned at the feeling of Grace's tongue doing the same thing to him. He was completely drunk on her.

After a few minutes, once again breathless, he reluctantly pulled back, ending the kiss and resting his forehead against Grace's. Their eyes were still closed, neither one willing to move away from the other, when Juice leaned down and whispered into Grace's ear.

"We were never just friends, sweetheart."

He took a step back and Gracie opened her eyes. Juice held his breath until he saw her beautiful smile. He then let out a big breath, relaxed, and flashed her a huge smile of his own.

Giving her one more small kiss, he turned around and walked over to his Harley. He looked at Grace as he sat down on the bike and nodded his head towards to house.

"Now hurry up in the house and get changed, Anderson. I'm taking you for a ride."


	9. Chapter 9

**OK, so this chapter is basically a Juice/Gracie lovefest. I couldn't help myself. The next chapter will start getting more into the storylines of Season One, more with Tara and Jax, and Gracie will start interacting with the club. But for now, please enjoy the fluff…**

Chapter 9

Gracie ran into the house, and as soon as the door was closed she sank against it and took a deep breath. _Did the last five minutes really just happen_? She had gone outside to apologize to Juice for Tara's outburst and for being a little too…friendly this morning when all the sudden…_he kissed me. Oh my fucking god, he really kissed me._

A giddy smile crossed Gracie's face as she remembered every detail. The way he assaulted her mouth with his own, overwhelming her every sense to the point of dizziness, and then the tender, sensual second kiss that followed, filled with so much emotion and passion that she actually felt her knees go weak. She had never felt anything like it before, like she was flying and yet totally grounded all at the same time. It was everything that she had dreamed of but never thought would actually happen. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but one thing was absolutely certain. He was telling the truth. They had never just been friends. _He wants me._

Gracie ran to the bathroom where she quickly washed her face, brushed her teeth, and put on some deodorant. Then she went to her room, stripping out of the clothes she had slept in the night before and putting on another pair of skinny jeans, a long black tank top, and a light gray cardigan. She quickly grabbed her red converse high tops and laced them up before heading back outside.

When Grace saw Juice, still sitting in her driveway on his Harley, sweetly smiling in her direction, she had the uncontrollable urge to touch him again and experience the same high he had given her a few minutes earlier. She walked right up to him taking long strides, never breaking eye contact.

When she approached him, Juice started to say, "So, where do you…"

Grace cut him off mid sentence as she grabbed the t-shirt under his kutte and claimed his lips with her own. She moved her mouth slowly but firmly while pushing her chest as close to Juice's body as his seated position would allow.

Juice was momentarily stunned, but as soon as he felt Grace nibble on his lower lip and suck it gently into her mouth he recovered and returned her kiss with everything he had. He wrapped his arms around her waist and crushed her against him, positioning her so that his thigh rested between her legs. When he felt her hands traveled up his chest to his neck and her fingernails gently scratched the back of his head he groaned. He parted his lips and her tongue devoured him, tasting every part of his mouth, and he felt himself harden when she started to suck on his tongue. His hands traveled up her back and then down to her hips, relishing every curve, but just when he was about to grab her perfect ass and grind her center against his thigh, she abruptly broke away.

Juice just stared at Grace, panting and completely dazed, while he tried to remember how to form sentences. He saw her blush and watched with fascination as the assertive sexual woman that had just kissed him morphed back into the sweet, shy girl he had come to know and adore.

Grace looked at Juice and gave him a small smile.

"Sorry, I've just wanted to do that for a really long time."

_Will this woman ever stop blowing my fucking mind?_ Grace was always so sweet, so nice, almost innocent…but he had just caught a glimpse of her hot as hell sex goddess side and it was the hottest fucking thing he'd ever seen.

Juice was still catching his breath when he returned Grace's smile. "Yeah, feel free to do that anytime you want. Like, seriously, all the time. Wow…just…damn."

Grace felt her face redden and she looked down at the ground. She shoved her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and took a small step back before raising her eyes to meet Juice's gaze.

His smile slowly faded and his face took on a serious expression.

"So, are you ready for this?"

Although he was seemingly asking about her first motorcycle ride, they both knew he meant something more.

Gracie chewed on her lower lip for a moment. "I've never done this before."

Juice's voice was quiet. "Are you scared?"

Grace nodded. "Yeah, a little."

He looked down at his hands in his lap for this next question, because he was terrified of her answer.

"Do you trust me?"

Grace stepped closer, closing the distance between them, and gently placed her hands on Juice's face, guiding his eyes back to hers.

She gave him a small, reassuring smile. "Completely."

Then she leaned in and gave him a little peck on his cheek.

Juice felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. In that moment, every shitty thing he thought about himself just vanished. In that moment, he wasn't an idiot, a fuck up, stupid, or crazy. In that moment, he was a man that Grace Anderson trusted. In that moment, he was someone Grace Anderson believed in...and for the first time in fucking forever he actually felt proud of himself.

He placed his helmet on Grace's head and helped her tighten the chin strap. When she climbed on behind him, he grabbed her hands and wrapped them around his waist.

He squeezed her hands and she heard him say quietly, "Just don't let go of me, Ok sweetheart?"

Grace tightened her arms around his waist and buried her face against his kutte. She said just loud enough for him to hear, "I won't. I promise."

Uncontrollably smiling and happier than he could ever remember feeling, Juice slowly drove out of Grace's neighborhood and past the Charming city limits before opening her up and speeding down the highway with no particular destination in mind. It didn't matter where they were going. Just that they were together.

* * *

Gracie had never felt as free as she did on the back of Juice's motorcycle. Any nervousness she felt during her first ride had disappeared the moment they got outside of Charming and he started speeding down the old country roads outside of town. She couldn't stop smiling. With the wind whipping around her, the California sun beating down on her face, and her arms wrapped firmly around Juice, Gracie felt like she was flying.

She felt a pang of disappointment when, after about an hour, Juice slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road. Gracie looked around and saw nothing but fields and forests in every direction. They were in the middle of nowhere.

Juice put down the kickstand and got off his bike. He had loved every minute of his ride with Grace, her arms grasping on to his waist, and her thighs pressed tightly against his hips. His bike was sacred and he never let anyone ride bitch. But with Grace behind him, he felt like his bike was even more perfect, like it hadn't been living up to its potential until she was on the back of it behind him. He hadn't been ready for the ride to end, but there was something that he needed to do and he couldn't wait anymore.

Juice leaned down to take his helmet off Grace and smirked at her blissful expression.

"So, what'd you think?"

Gracie couldn't stop smiling. "It's just, wow, I can't even describe, I feel so…yeah, that was the best thing, like, ever. God, Juice, it's fucking amazing!"

Juice just laughed. "Yeah, I basically had the same reaction after my first time."

Grace went to hop off the bike, but the moment her legs touched the ground she started to wobble and almost fell over. Juice quickly reached out and caught her before she hit the ground.

She just looked at him and started laughing. "You seem to have a habit of catching me before I fall. What the hell is wrong with my legs? They feel like jello."

"Yeah, forgot to warn you about that. It takes a little while to get used to riding long distances. Just shake it out. You'll be fine."

Gracie stretched her legs and after a moment felt her strength come back. She turned towards Juice and wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him in to a tight hug.

"Thank you for this, for today. I'll never forget it. For the rest of my life, you'll be the guy that took me on my first motorcycle ride."

Juice remembered the rush that went through him while Grace was pressed against his back clinging to him through every curve in the road. He wanted to tell her that he will be the only man that she'll ever ride with, that no one else will ever get to experience her that way. But instead, he just leaned down and gave her a small, chaste kiss.

"I won't forget it either, sweetheart."

Juice grabbed Grace's hand and started pulling her away from the road towards the woods on her right.

"Where are we going?"

Juice just continued walking, looking straight ahead. "There's just something I want to show you."

They walked in contented silence, hand in hand. He led her down a small, overgrown path through the woods that, after a few minutes, came to a clearing with a small but beautiful little pond surrounded by huge, gorgeous trees. The water was clear, blue and still, and no sounds could be heard except for the occasional bird and the wind rustling through the redwoods.

Tightening his grip on her hand, Juice looked down at Grace nervously.

"So, do you like it?"

She looked up at him, awestruck. "It's so beautiful here. How did you find it?"

"A few years ago I got a flat tire right out by where we parked. I was waiting on Chibs, one of my brothers, to come pick me up. I got bored and started walking and came across…all this."

He led her down to a grassy area not too far from the water, and pulled her down on the ground so that they were sitting together, both facing the pond.

"I come out here a lot to, uh…"

"To think?"

Juice shook his head. "No, the opposite actually. I come out here to stop thinking. Sometimes, I just…I have trouble shutting it off sometimes, all the noise in my head. My thoughts will just stream in, you know? It's fucking overwhelming. But when I come out here, it's easier to not think. It's just quiet, and I can just breathe out here and just…be."

He couldn't bring himself to look at Grace and instead continued to stare out at the water.

"That sounds fucking crazy, doesn't it?"

Gracie squeezed Juice's hand and shook her head.

"Of course it's not crazy. Everyone feels like that sometimes, like your thoughts and problems are coming at you from a million different directions. But not everyone finds a place like this. It's so perfect. And I'm so happy you have it, that it can give you some peace."

Juice turned his head and looked into Gracie's eyes. "You do too, you know?"

"I what?"

"You give me peace too."

Juice had to look away, embarrassed by his sudden admission.

"When I'm with you, even that first day, you make me feel…peaceful. Just being around you, my head is less…noisy. I don't fucking understand it, but it's true."

Gracie had to swallow the lump forming in her throat to keep from crying. No one had ever said something so sweet to her.

Juice turned towards Grace and held both of her hands.

"Grace, I knew you were special, that this, between us, was something special. I left that bakery with every intention of calling you, seeing you again. But I couldn't. I'm pretty fucked up. Hell, my whole fucking life is pretty fucked up sometimes. I just…you're too good for me, Grace. I knew it then, and I know it now. That's why I didn't call you. I didn't want to drag you down."

Gracie quickly crawled onto Juice's lap, straddling his legs and faced him.

Just inches away from his face, Gracie stared into his beautiful brown eyes. Her voice was soft but serious. "Ortiz, you will never say that to me again. I will not let you talk down about yourself like that, ever. You are amazing in so many ways. You're kind, and sweet, and funny, and so smart, Juice. I'll be so lucky if you decide to be in my life."

Juice blinked away the tears that were forming in his eyes and just stared at Grace in wonder. No one, not his mom or sister or any of his brothers in the Sons, had ever said anything like that to him. The most meaningful words ever spoken to him by the most perfect woman he'd ever met.

Juice ran his hands down Grace's face touching her lips, then moved them down her neck over her shoulders until he was caressing her arms.

"Are you sure you're real?"

Gracie chuckled. "Excuse me?"

"Sometimes I think you can't be real. That I fucking dreamed you, and that I'm gonna wake up one of these days and you're going to disappear."

Gracie leaned forward and kissed him. Slowly and passionately, Grace tried to pour every emotion she was feeling into her movements, attempting to express through the kiss the feelings that she wasn't quite ready to say out loud.

Slowing pulling away, she opened her eyes and placed one of her hands on Juice's cheek.

"I'm real. I promise. And I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Juice and Grace stayed there for hours, just talking and laughing, enjoying their time together. By the time they pulled up in front of Grace's house, the sun was starting to set. Grace climbed off the bike and handed the helmet back to Juice, who was still sitting on his Harley.

Juice grinned. "Oh, I forgot to ask…Gracie Jane?"

Grace laughed. Of course he had heard Tara call her that earlier that day.

"Yeah, Grace Jane Anderson. My dad always called me Gracie Jane. As soon as Tara heard it, that's what she called me too. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I never asked because I didn't want to pry, but come on, _Juice_? That can't be your real name."

He shook his head and gave her a small, shy smile before hesitantly saying, "It's Juan Carlos Ortiz."

Gracie just smirked. "Juan Carlos, huh? I like it. It's pretty sexy actually."

Juice raised his eyebrows and flashed her his flirtiest grin. "Oh, yeah? You think it's sexy?"

Gracie's whole face blushed and Juice thought it was fucking adorable.

She hid her face in her hands. "Did I say that out loud? Oh, my god…yes, it's very, very sexy."

Juice laughed and pulled Grace's hands down, holding them in his own. "Well, it you like it, you can call me that once in a while, but just when it's you and me. No one else calls me that."

"No one?"

Juice shook his head. "No one but the cops."

Gracie laughed, but Juice's smile faded as mentioning the police reminded him of something he really needed to get out of the way.

"Listen, we haven't really talked about the club yet..."

Grace shook her head and gently placed finger on Juice's lips, quieting him.

She looked into his eyes with a serious expression. "Do you sell drugs?"

Juice returned her gaze and never broke eye contact. "No. No drugs."

Grace nodded. "Do you hurt innocent people? Women or children?"

"No, Jesus, of course not."

Grace leaned in and gave him a small, sweet kiss.

"Then we're good."

Juice smiled at the beautiful woman standing beside him. He had been so scared to talk to Grace about the MC, terrified that she would want to know too much or leave him the moment that she was reminded of his involvement. He should have known that she would simplify it for him, that she would continue to say the perfect fucking thing.

"So, listen. There's a little carnival tomorrow, Fun Town. It's an annual Charming thing. Want to go with me tomorrow? We could share some cotton candy. I could win you a teddy bear. What do you say?"

Grace sighed and shook her head. "That sounds like a lot of fun. I would love to go, but I picked up the night shift at work tomorrow night, which means I have to spend most of the day tomorrow sleeping. I'm sorry. Maybe we can hang out the next night?"

He tried to hide his disappointment at the thought of not seeing her for an entire day. _Jesus, it's one fucking day. Am I that fucking whipped already?_

"Sure, babe. As long as there's no club shit I have to do, we'll definitely hang out. I'll text you."

Juice rested his hands on Grace's hips and she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Grace, today was…" He was at a loss for words. How do you describe something so perfect?

She nodded. "For me too. Thank you for everything, for the ride and for showing me such a beautiful place. I'm pretty honored to be one of the people you've shared it with."

Juice pulled her a little closer. "Sweetheart, you're the only person I've shared it with."

For the millionth time that day, Grace was stunned at the sweetness and sincerity in Juice's eyes. She smiled at him again before he closed the gap between them and gave her another deep, soul searing, head spinning kiss.

When they finally separately, Grace slowly turned and started walking towards her front door. Juice watched as she opened it and stepped inside. She turned around and met his gaze one more time before shutting the door.

"Goodnight Juan Carlos."

Juice just shook his head and smirked at her as she closed the door. He started his bike and began to pull out of the driveway. When he reached the street, he paused just briefly to look back at the house.

He smiled and whispered, "Goodnight Gracie Jane."

**Please, please, please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**So, this one is WAY different from my other chapters. I'm trying to get a little more into the season one storyline. This is certainly not at all light and happy like the others, but I thought it was important to include in the story. Hope you like it and don't find it too upsetting. And as always, please review!**

**Trigger warning…this chapter deals with the rape of Tristan Oswald.**

Chapter 10

Grace walked out of St. Thomas as fast as she could. Last night had been one of the worst shifts of her life. The sun was shining at the start of what was sure to be another beautiful Charming morning, but all Grace could see was the ugliness that plagued the world around her. As soon as she got to her car, she leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and finally let out the tears that she had been keeping in since the middle of the night. _My God, how could someone do that to a 13 year old girl? _The ride home was a blur. The last seven hours kept playing over and over again in her head.

* * *

_7 hours earlier…_

She was sitting in the emergency room drinking a large black coffee, trying to stay awake since it was a slow night and she wasn't really used to working third shift anymore. She spent most of her time smiling to herself, reliving every second of her ride with Juice, along with every kiss, every touch, counting down the hours until she could be with him again. But around 12:30am she was snapped out of her daydream when she heard the call from dispatch saying that a patient was being brought to St. Thomas via ambulance. _We've got a 13 year old Caucasian female. Status post sexual assault. Significant blood loss along with some cuts and bruises. Possible concussion. Vitals are stable. Patient is awake but disoriented. ETA 13 minutes._

Grace took a deep breath when she heard the call come in. Being an ER nurse, she had seen several cases of child abuse, but it was something that she would never, ever get used to. She would always dread seeing the inevitable fear and anguish in the victim's eyes, always hate the sound of the brokenness in their voices. It was, without a doubt, the worst part of her job. But just as she had done in the past, she pushed her feeling aside and steeled herself for what she knew was coming. She had a job to do. There was a girl arriving in 13 minutes that would need her at her best.

Tristan Oswald was a beautiful young girl, but it was hard to tell under the blood and bruises that covered her little body. Grace's heart dropped the moment she saw her patient being brought in on a stretcher, flanked by a man and a woman on either side who each looked nothing less than heartbroken. They were obviously her parents.

"Grace, will you help me with her. You're so calming and nice to everyone. I think your presence would be helpful."

Gracie looked up at Dr. Jeremy Danielson, the ER resident on call tonight. He was young, probably about her age, with sandy blonde hair and kind blue eyes. He was definitely the nursing staff's favorite resident, not only because he was incredibly handsome, but always nice and considerate to his coworkers.

Gracie nodded. "Of course I'll be there. I unfortunately have a lot of experience caring for assault victims. I'll do everything I can."

Dr. Danielson gave her a small sad smile before walking with her into the room where Tristan Oswald was being sedated.

The first hour was spent stabilizing the girl, starting an IV, getting cat scans and x-rays, suturing her wounds, and cleaning up all the blood. During that time, Grace had learned that Tristan had been at Fun Town when the assault occurred, the same carnival that Juice had asked her to go to the day before. Then Grace, along with the girl's mother, held Tristan's hand during the pelvic exam that Dr. Danielson had to perform. Upon hearing the extent of their daughter's injuries and getting the confirmation of what they both feared had happened, both parents looked stricken. She had been brutalized. Grace swallowed back the lump in her throat. She couldn't even begin to fathom their pain, knowing that their little girl had been raped.

Mr. Oswald stormed out of the room, unable to bare any more information. Gracie looked out the small window and watched him as he paced the hallway and was approached by David Hale, no doubt for questioning due to the violent nature of Tristan's attack. Grace had spoken to David a few times at the hospital since he usually responded to all the car accidents and domestic violence cases that would come through the ER. Gracie liked him. He was always professional and polite, and Tara had said that he had always been a sweet guy, even in high school. After a few minutes, David and Mr. Oswald walked off together and Gracie refocused all her attention on Tristan.

Dr. Danielson completed his exam and left the room. Tristan started sobbing uncontrollably as her mother held her and rocked her back and forth.

"Mom, it hurts."

Grace bit her lip to keep her voice from cracking. "Tristan, I have some pain medicine for you. I'm going to put it through your IV. It will make you feel better and hopefully help you rest."

Gracie pushed the morphine through the girl's IV and slowly saw her relax. "Please call me if you need anything, Tristan. And you too, Mrs. Oswald, please let me know if I can help you in anyway. I'll be right outside in the nurse's station."

Mrs. Oswald gave Grace a small smile even though tears continuously streamed down her face. "Thank you, Grace."

Gracie was almost out the door when she heard Tristan's small, tired voice whisper, "Mom, I thought I was safe. He was one of the clowns. He wasn't supposed to hurt me."

Gracie placed her hand over her mouth to cover the gasp that came out. She quietly shut the door and walked back to the nurse's station to complete Tristan's chart. Fighting back tears, she whispered to herself, "You can do this Gracie Jane. Crying won't help. Be strong for her."

* * *

And for the next several hours, she was. She did her job, attended to her patients, and stayed calm, cool, and professional…until her shift was over, when the sadness and intensity of the night came crashing down on her and she finally grieved for Tristan and her cruel loss of innocence.

As soon as Grace got home she took a quick shower, walked to the kitchen to down some ibuprofen and two shots of Jameson, and then crawled into her bed, praying for rest. She tried calling Juice a couple of times, hoping that the sound of his voice would somehow soothe her, but her calls went straight to voicemail. Gracie just tossed and turned, fighting the images in her mind, until exhaustion finally overcame her and she fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

_What a fucking nightmare._ Juice tried to stretch his neck and back, sore from sitting in front of his computer all night in the clubhouse. He was hacking into the California corrections database, trying to find a link to any Nords that might have a thing for underage girls. Elliot Oswald had called Clay last night to say that his 13 year old daughter had been raped by an unknown attacker and had begged the Sons to find the man so that he could have justice. A quick vote determined everyone to be on board. No one was going to hurt a little girl in Charming and get away with it. They just had to find the prick before Charming PD.

Juice's eyes lit up at the screen. _Jesus, finally!_

"Hey, Clay. I think I found something."

The president of SAMCRO sauntered over to him, looking over his shoulder.

"What do you got, Juicey?"

Juice had found a member of the Nords that had previous arrests for sexual assault. He got an address of what seemed to be a large farm just outside of Charming, where the guy had been staying since he was recently paroled.

Clay just nodded and picked up his cell to call the others. Juice sighed in relief and ran his hand over his small mohawk. He fucked up a lot and was considered to be the moron of the club, but as intelligence officer he did his job and came through when needed.

Clay got off his phone and turned back to Juice. "Go bag up some AKs. We're gonna go pay that asshole a visit."

Juice jumped off the barstool where he'd been hunched over for hours and winced at the pain in his back.

"Hey Juicey. You hurting?"

Juice turned and saw Tig approaching him. "Yeah, man. Just been sitting for too long."

Tig took a bottle of pills from his pocket and threw them to Juice.

"Take a couple of those, man. They'll make you feel all better."

"What are they?"

"Vitamins, my brother."

* * *

"Jesus, Juice. Wake up man. Juice!"

Juice could have sworn he heard Jax's voice, but it sounded a million miles away. He was sure that someone was kicking his back, but he was too sleepy to care. _Why does everyone keep bothering me when I'm trying to sleep?_ The darkness had almost come over him yet again when he was suddenly showered with what felt like a fucking river of ice water.

Juice sat up, suddenly awake and aware of his surroundings, rubbing his eyes. _What the fuck?_

Chibs was standing over him with a shit eating grin on his face, holding a now empty pitcher. _Why the hell am I on the floor?_

"Rise and shine, Juicey boy. Nap time's over."

Chibs helped Juice off the floor and guided him to one of the chairs in the chapel.

"What the hell happened to me? Last thing I remember, I was bagging the AK's and Tig came over and gave me…"

Juice looked up at the Sergeant at Arms. "You're an asshole, Tig."

Tig wasn't even trying to hide the smirk on his face. "Sorry, moron. That's what you get for taking pills from me."

Clay interrupted any comeback that Juice may have said. "Shut up. Both of you. Juice, you're an idiot. Never take pills from Tig. Ever. Really, you actually thought they were vitamins? And Tig, you knew he was getting the guns ready. It's your fault he passed out before loading the fucking clips."

Juice paled. "Oh, Christ, Clay, the clips…"

Jax spoke up, "Don't worry about it. We handled it. Turns out, it wasn't the right guy. We're back to square fucking one."

The guys all dispersed to talk about their options. Juice stood on shaky legs and made his way over to the table that held his laptop and cell phone. He picked up his phone and looked at the time. _6:12pm. Shit, I've been out for over 10 hours. Fucking Tig._ He flipped open his phone and noticed two missed calls from Gracie that morning.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself. He had been so caught up in this Oswald shit, he hadn't even thought about calling her. He listened to the voicemail that she had left several hours ago and a wave of panic swept over him as he listened to the sad, small voice that sounded nothing like his Grace. _Hey Juice, it's Grace. I'm sorry to bother you. You're probably still sleeping. I just got home from work. Um, I just…I had a really bad night last night. I'm so tired I can barely see straight, but I just can't fall asleep. I guess I can't turn off my head. I know you know what that feels like. I just wanted to talk. Hear your voice, you know? Anyway, give me a call when you get a chance. Um, Ok…bye._

Juice was sure that half way through the message, Grace had started crying. He was so worried about her and so pissed at himself. He was passed out all fucking day and Grace was somewhere hurting and he had no idea why. He quickly dialed her number.

After a couple of rings, a very groggy voice on the other end said, "Hello."

"Hey, Gracie. It's me."

He heard her yawn. "Hey Juice."

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, kind of. I've been in and out all day. Haven't really been able to rest."

"I'm really sorry I didn't call you earlier. Club shit. I was kind of unreachable. I got your voicemail, sweetheart. Are you alright?"

He heard her sigh and her voice tremble. "Yeah, I'm fine, really. If you're busy, we can just talk later…"

Juice interrupted her. "Babe, something's wrong. You said you had a bad night last night. Did someone hurt you? Are you OK?"

He could feel an ache forming in his chest as he heard Gracie start to quietly sob. "Sweetheart, you're scaring me. Please tell me what happened."

"I'm fine. Nothing happened to me. I just had a really hard shift, a patient that really got to me. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Gracie, you deal with sad shit all the time at work. Tell me what happened. Why was last night so bad?"

Grace took a few deep breaths and finally got her tears under control. "Please, don't repeat any of this, OK? I shouldn't be saying anything."

"Of course, babe. What happened?"

"Last night a young girl came in to the ER. She was raped at Fun Town. I took care of her last night."

Juice almost dropped the phone. He held his breath and looked around the clubhouse, somehow thinking that the men around him had also heard the bomb that Gracie had just fucking dropped.

He tried to recover from his shock. Keeping his voice as calm as possible he said, "Jesus, Gracie. That's fucking terrible."

"I know. I can't believe it. And to think, I was supposed to go there with you. I know shit like this happens all the time. I saw it way too often in Chicago. But Charming seems like such a bubble, like nothing bad can happen here. I guess I was just blindsided. And the girl, she's so young and so sweet. And her parents are beyond devastated. It was just really hard to see."

Juice's heart broke for Grace as her crying started up again. He sincerely felt so sorry for her and what she must have gone through all night, but he had to ask her the question. The club needed him to ask.

"Grace, baby, I'm so sorry. That's awful. Do, uh, do you have any idea who raped her?"

Grace's voice was quiet. "That's one of the worst parts. The girl knows who did it, but for some reason I think her mom is trying to convince her not to say anything. I overheard the patient say that it was one of the carnival workers. That he was dressed like a clown. Can you even imagine? What a sick fuck."

Juice stood up and waved his arm frantically above his head to get his brothers' attention. He tried to keep his breathing even as they gathered around him, looking at him with confusion.

"Sweetheart, I feel fucking terrible. I wish I could talk longer, but I've gotta get off the phone. It's kind of an emergency."

"Is everything OK?"

Juice hated the worry he heard in her voice. "Yeah, Gracie. Everything's fine. I can't see you tonight, but I promise I'll call you tomorrow, OK?"

"Ok. I'm glad you called. It was good to hear your voice. I'll talk to you tomorrow. And Juice…just, whatever's going on, be careful, OK?"

He couldn't help but grin at her concern. "Always, sweetheart. Go back to sleep. Bye."

Juice closed his phone and looked up to see the other members of SAMCRO staring at him.

Chibs just smirked, "So, Juicey, who's this 'sweetheart' you have now?"

Juice turned to look at Clay. "That was Grace. She's my…we're…I don't know. We're kind of together. She's a nurse in the ER at St. Thomas. She took care of Oswald's daughter last night. She heard her say it was one of the carnival workers that raped her. Said he was dressed like a fucking clown."

The guys just looked at each other and then back to Juice, dumbfounded. Clay walked over to him and looked him in the eye. "So, this new pussy your tapping…can we trust her?"

Juice clenched his fists at his sides, suppressing the urge to punch his president in the god damn face. He raised his eyes and met Clay's glare. "She's not just pussy, and yeah, we can trust her. Absolutely."

Clay stared him down for a few more seconds before nodding. "Nice work, son." Clay then turned to the rest of the guys. "Well, let's go get him."

Juice stood frozen for a few moments. Not only Clay, but all of his brothers, had looked at him just then with something closely resembling respect. He had done something right for once. _And it's all because of Gracie. God, even when she doesn't realize it, that girl comes through for me._ He could never tell her about tonight, about how she had helped him, his club, his family. But it was one more thing about Grace that he would carry with him. That girl was a fucking gift.

As the guys left the clubhouse and walked towards their harleys, Jax looked over at Juice and grinned. "So, Juice. Not just pussy? You got a girl now?"

Juice climbed on his bike and strapped on his helmet. "Yeah, Jax, about that…my girl? She's Tara Knowles' best friend and roommate."

Juice started his bike and drove off, leaving a wide eyed Jax staring after him.


	11. Chapter 11

**So far this story has 84 follows and 44 favorites! I never expected such support and I am beyond grateful. Really close to getting over 50 reviews, so hopefully this chapter will push me over! Every review means the world to me!**

**This update is a little shorter than my usual, but it's special to me and I didn't want to add anything else that might detract from it. It starts out pretty dark. I always thought Juice's OCD was such an integral part of his character. It won't be a big focus in this story, but I do believe that dealing with it is necessary to his character development. I'm not a mental health expert or anything, so please forgive any mistakes or liberties I have taken with describing the illness…**

Chapter 11

It was the middle of the night and Juice was in Chigger Woods watching Tristan Oswald's rapist bleed to death. He had killed for the club before, at least he thought he had. There had been fire fights with the Mayans during which Juice had pulled his weapon and nameless, faceless bodies had dropped in the distance. But he had never seen their faces, never watched them die…and he had never seen anything so brutal as what Clay had just done to the man laying on the ground at his feet.

As he watched the life slowly drain from the eyes of the dying man, Juice kept repeating to himself the same words over and over. _He deserves it. This fucker deserves it. He raped a little girl. He has no right to breathe air. He's a sick, twisted fucker. He deserves it. _And still, waves of nausea rolled through his stomach causing him to lean forward with his hands on his knees and take a few calming breaths. It wasn't that he disagreed with Clay that this piece of shit needed to die. 100%, this fucker deserved to rot in hell. It was the violence. He knew he was a pussy and that it didn't make sense. He was an outlaw, a criminal, a member of one of the most feared MC's in the world…but deep down in his bones, Juice just wasn't a violent person.

"Ya alright there, Juicey?"

Juice looked over at Chibs who was waiting with Half-Sack to bury the body.

Juice straightened up and nodded his head. "Yeah, man. I'm good. That was, uh, just some hard core shit, you know? A lot of fucking blood man."

Chibs nodded understandingly. He had had a soft spot for Juice since the kid was a prospect. "Aye, Juicey boy. That it was." The Scotsman looked down to the ground at the lifeless body. "Come on, the bastard's finally dead. Let's bury this fucker and be done with this shite."

* * *

Once they had done what needed to be done, the three men quickly finished up and left the woods, climbed onto their bikes, and headed back to Charming. Chibs and Sack went straight for the clubhouse, but Juice just couldn't go back to TM tonight. He turned up Main Street and went to his small one bedroom apartment that he rented above the weed shop in town.

Upon entering, he took his boots off and left them on the mat by the door, not wanting to risk tracking blood or dirt on his perfectly cleaned floors. Juice was a slob at the clubhouse like everyone else, but in his own space his OCD took over and he felt compelled to keep the apartment spotless and organized. He hung up his kutte on a nearby hook and stripped completely out of his clothes. He immediately put them into his small stackable washing machine and then headed directly to his shower. He forced himself to stay under the cascade of scalding hot water until his skin was red and almost burning, trying to wash away not only the gore of the night but the uneasy feeling that he just couldn't shake.

Juice quickly dried off, hanging his wet towel so that it hung perfectly on the towel rack in his bathroom, making sure the four corners were appropriately aligned. Looking down at the towel, he wanted to punch a hole through the wall. He glanced into the mirror above the sink and was disgusted with the face staring back at him. _Jesus Christ, I am fucking crazy. _He learned a long time ago that his compulsions got worse with stress, and right now he felt like he was about to lose it. He went to his bedroom and put on a white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Juice then went to his living room and sat on his black leather couch, lighting up a joint and taking a long, slow drag. He stared at his space, his belongings in perfect order, and every surface polished clean. Someone visiting might say it was neat and tidy, but Juice just thought of it as sterile. _Cold and lifeless, just like that asshole I buried tonight._ And with that thought, his head was spinning. Images of the night flashed through his brain like lightning and his mind raced with bloody thoughts that were completely out of his control. He laid down on the couch and closed his eyes, focusing as hard as he could to slow the endless river of shit streaming into his head. He was exhausted, completely and utterly exhausted, but he couldn't find a moment of calm long enough to quiet his head and escape into sleep.

After about an hour of restless misery, Juice sat up and rubbed his hands over his tired face. _Fuck this. _He couldn't take it anymore. He went to his room and traded his sweats for a pair of jeans, and then went to the kitchen and put on a black hoodie, a clean pair of boots, and his kutte. He walked outside, jumped on his bike, and drove as fast as he could to the one place in the world where he knew he would find some rest.

* * *

Grace was startled awake by a loud banging on her front door. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the alarm clock on her nightstand. _3:42am_. Grabbing the Louisville slugger she kept under her bed, she walked to the living room and peaked through the blinds. Juice's harley was parked in her driveway.

She quickly put the baseball bat down, unlocked her deadbolt, and opened the front door. She rubbed her eyes to try and erase the fogginess of sleep and confusion. He was standing on her front step.

Her voice was soft and groggy. "Juice, what's going on? It's the middle of the night. Are you alright?"

As soon as his eyes fell on Gracie, Juice felt the invisible weight that had been crushing him for the last few hours slowly fall from his shoulders. She was standing there in nothing but a white tank top and pink cotton sleep shorts, her copper hair hanging in a tousled mess on her shoulders. Her eyes were cloudy with sleep but still so fucking warm and her voice was quiet, but sweet and full of concern.

"Gracie, I'm sorry for showing up like this. I am. I just…please don't ask me questions. I'm just so tired, baby. I'm so fucking tired and I need to sleep, and I just…I need you. Please."

Gracie looked at the man standing in front of her. He seemed so lost. His voice was weak and desperate, almost fragile, and his eyes were laden with sadness and exhaustion. She adored this man beyond reason and seeing him like this completely broke her heart. She had no idea what caused him to shatter this way, and at that moment she didn't care. All that mattered was that he needed her.

Gracie didn't say a word. She took Juice's hand and led him into the house. Never loosening her grasp, she closed and locked the front door, and then guided them back to her bedroom. Closing the door, she walked with Juice so that they were standing beside her bed. He never took his eyes off of her as she carefully slid his kutte off his shoulders and then folded it over the arm of her desk chair. She then unzipped his hoodie and removed that as well. Kneeling in front of him she unlaced his boots and took them off along with his socks. Gracie stood back up and gazed into the beautiful brown eyes that she dreamed about almost every night. They never broke eye contact as she unfastened his belt buckle and top button, then slid down his zipper and let his jeans drop to the floor. He stepped out of his jeans and was standing in nothing but his t shirt and boxers.

Grace placed her hands on either side of his face and caressed his cheekbones with her thumbs. She stood on her tip toes, leaned forward, and gave Juice a slow, soft kiss. There was nothing sexual in her touch, only concern and reassurance. She was taking care of him. After a few minutes, Gracie gently pulled away and guided him down to her bed where he laid his head on one of her pillows.

Grace walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in beside him. As soon as she pulled the covers up, Juice curled into her side, one of his legs tangled between her own and his head resting on her chest. He grasped onto her tightly, as if he were afraid she'd float away if he let go even for a moment. She softly caressed the side of his head while her other hand rested comfortingly on his back. She found herself whispering soothing words in his ear until she felt his breathing even out and his hold on her loosen.

She was certain he was almost asleep when she heard Juice whisper the same words that he said to her right before he took her on his motorcycle.

"Just don't let go of me, ok sweetheart?"

Gracie kissed the top of his head, repeating her own words from that day. "I won't. I promise."

She continued her soft, gentle touches for a few more minutes until she was sure he was sleeping peacefully. Only then was she finally able to close her eyes, knowing that for at least tonight, Juice was safe in her arms.

**Please review….**


	12. Chapter 12

**FINALLY, SOME SMUT! So yeah, I've never written anything like this…like, ever. I didn't even plan on anything this physical happening between them so soon, but I started typing and one word led to another… So yeah, I'm gonna go hide under a rock now. FYI, there's probably going to be a lot of typos because I can't bring myself to re-read this just yet.**

**Just a friendly reminder, this story is rated M…really, like a big, fat, capital M.**

Chapter 12

Gracie was awakened by the weight of a strong arm around her waist and warm breath on the back of her neck. At some point in the night, the two had shifted so that Gracie's back was tucked snugly into Juice's front. Moving very slowly and quietly, she rolled so that she was facing him.

Juice was still asleep. Looking at him this morning, with sunlight falling on his caramel colored skin, Gracie was shocked at how much younger he looked. There were no frown lines marring his gorgeous face, no worry or stress clouding his eyes. He looked so peaceful and relaxed, nothing like the broken man that had come to her for rescue a few hours earlier. Just thinking about the sad, lost look on his face when he arrived on her doorstep almost brought her to tears. Seeing him now just inches away, she was overcome with emotion and so tempted to touch him, to comfort him again the way she did last night. Her hand moved to stroke his cheek, but she paused before making contact and pulled it back. She didn't want to wake him just yet. Very gently, she lifted the arm that was still on top of her waist and set it carefully back down as she slid out of bed and stood. Gazing back down at him, she couldn't help but smile. She loved the sight of Juice tangled in her sheets.

Gracie quietly crept out of her bedroom and shut the door. She walked down the hallway to the bathroom to brush her teeth and try to tame the rat's nest that was her current hair situation. She then gently knocked on Tara's door, but got no answer. Gracie knew that she was on call last night, so she was probably still at the hospital.

Walking into her kitchen to make a pot of coffee, Gracie took inventory of the groceries in her fridge. She absolutely loved to cook and was a very firm believer in the idea of comfort food. After the night he had, Juice definitely deserved a good old-fashioned, gut-busting breakfast. She got out her mixing bowls and went to work.

* * *

Juice reached his arm out to pull Grace closer, but to his confusion, his hand found nothing but the cool, soft feel of her sheets. He sat up in the bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Looking over at the alarm clock by the bed he saw that it was just after noon. He had slept soundly for almost seven hours, and he couldn't remember the last time he felt so well rested. He couldn't stop himself from replaying the events from last night over again in his head. He had a full blown anxiety attack, his first one in a while. He had tried so hard to get over it himself, to control it, manage it somehow. Nothing worked. Nothing helped. And then there was Gracie…

He honestly had no idea how he allowed himself to come to her last night. If he had had any control over himself, he would have never let her to see him in that condition. He hated himself when he lost it like that and he never wanted Grace to see him as pathetic or weak.

_But that's just it. She didn't look at me like I was pathetic or weak. She just looked like she cared about me. _When Gracie looked at him last night, there was no pity in her eyes, no judgment. He couldn't stop staring at her as she led him through her house, undressed him, and tucked him into her bed. The whole time he was waiting to see disdain, some shadow of regret or disappointment…but it never came. The whole night Gracie gave him nothing but compassion and kindness. He was at his lowest and she did everything she could to show her affection. She took care of him and made him feel nothing short of cherished. He had never experienced anything even close to that in his life and it fucking overwhelmed him.

Sitting up in bed, he took a moment to look around Gracie's bedroom. Just being there made him smile. Whereas Juice had absolutely nothing personal anywhere in his apartment, Gracie's bedroom seemed like the perfect embodiment of the woman herself. She was everywhere, in every direction he looked. Her bed looked like an antique made out of wrought iron. Her sheets were soft, white cotton with little pink flowers and they smelled just like Gracie, coconut and vanilla. The patchwork quilt with big interlocking rings all over it looked really old, like it might be a family heirloom.

Juice got out of bed to walk around the room and take a closer look at everything. Evidence of her travels were scattered around the room. A big Persian tapestry hung over her bed, some kind of tribal masks were displayed on either side of it, and a really cool looking Japanese parasol hung from one of the corners of the room. He walked over to the small desk that held her laptop and grinned when he saw a Lego model of the Millennium Falcon proudly displayed on one of the corners along with a Yoda bobble head. The opposite corner held a replica of the Death Star and another bobble head, this time Darth Vader. Hanging proudly above the desk was an exact replica of Captain America's shield, and it was flanked on either side by two framed vintage Marvel comic books. Juice's smile widened. _God damn, I somehow scored the hottest fucking nerd on the planet._

What caught and held Juice's eye was the bookshelf that stood on one side of the desk. He saw stacks of J.R.R. Tolkien and Jules Verne novels along with a bunch of other authors that he had never heard of. But what really got him were all of the framed photographs resting on the shelves. There were a few pictures with Grace and Tara; one with them both wearing their graduation caps and gowns, one with them leaning back to back doing the Charlie's Angels pose while both wearing hospital scrubs, and another with both of them in bikinis with leis around their necks on a beach somewhere. In every shot they both had huge, silly grins on their faces. It was easy to see how close they were. They really were like sisters.

Another shelf was filled with pictures of Gracie and her parents. The first photo was of a beautiful woman that looked almost identical to Grace, smiling up at the camera and holding a newborn baby wrapped in a pink blanket_. _Another looked like it was taken in a park somewhere with a six or seven year old Gracie sitting in her mom's lap, both of them laughing and not looking at the camera. They both looked so happy.

There were several pictures of Gracie and a man that was obviously her father. In one they stood in front of the Eiffel Tower, the next in front of the Coliseum, one with them standing on the roof of a high rise that looked like it was in Tokyo, and another with them posing beside a camel in front of the Pyramids. The last one showed them both sitting on surf boards in the water with an island in the background, smiling at each other. Gracie had told him that whenever her father was on leave, they would just pick a new spot on the map and go for a couple of days since they had mostly free travel due to his military connections. He found it all pretty fucking impressive, considering the only places he had ever been were New York, California, and whatever states he drove through between them.

But the very last photo that he saw was his favorite. It was just of Grace. She was sitting alone on a rock wearing hiking gear with the Grand Canyon in the background. The photo was taken from the side, so that he saw her sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees, looking out at the sight in front of her with a look of total awe on her face. Juice picked up the frame and closely studied every inch. He thought the photo somehow demonstrated so much of who Gracie is…independent, brave, strong, thoughtful, and maybe a little lonely.

He ran his fingers over the picture and continued to stare at the girl, his girl. He stunned himself when he involuntarily found himself saying aloud words that he never thought he would utter.

"I'm in love with her."

He put the frame back on the shelf, afraid that he may drop it out of his now trembling hands. He sat down on the edge of the bed, suddenly feeling dizzy. _Oh my god, I fucking love her._ Juice had never been in love before. Hell, he had never even been sure what the words really meant. But sitting there, thinking back on every moment that he had shared with Grace Jane Anderson, he knew with certainty that she was the most important person that had ever entered his life, that she made him feel like he actually mattered, that she made him laugh and smile more in the last few weeks than he had in his whole god damn life, that when it came down to it her happiness was the most important thing in the world. He couldn't imagine life without her._ Jesus Christ, I'm fucking in love with her._

Suddenly the dizziness and nervousness subsided and a feeling of total fucking bliss filled him. He didn't even know he was capable of feeling this way, but he did. He was in love for the first time ever, with the most perfect girl that ever fucking existed. He was struck with the overwhelming urge to see her, to touch her, to kiss her anywhere she would let him. He wanted her…now.

He stood back up and walked out of her room, towards the kitchen and some pretty fantastic smells. He rounded the corner and saw Gracie, still in her pajamas, flipping pancakes over a frying pan, swaying gently to a song that she was humming to herself. Juice quietly crept up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the side of her neck.

Gracie turned her head slightly to look up at Juice and smile. "Good morning. I hope I didn't wake you."

Juice continued to nuzzle her neck. _God she always smells so fucking good. "_Nope, I actually can't remember the last time I got that much sleep."

Gracie turned the stove off and removed the last pancake from the pan. She tried to turn around but Juice held her in place with a firm grasp on her hips. He was scared that the moment she turned around she would somehow see his love for her written all over his face. He wasn't ready to tell her yet, not until he was sure that she felt the same way.

He leaned his head down and spoke softly into her ear. "I'm sorry about last night, Gracie. I was…I don't know…I guess I was just in a really bad place and I needed you, needed you to quiet all the noise. I, uh, I don't do so good on my own."

Juice's grip loosened slightly and Gracie turned around. His arms wrapped around her waist while hers reached up and around his neck.

Gracie looked at him and shook her head. "Don't ever apologize for coming to me when you need help, Juice." She furrowed her brow. "Don't you know that I would do anything for you? You have to know that. You _always_ call me, always come to me. I will always be here for you, ok? Promise me."

Juice looked down at the floor and slowly nodded. "I promise."

Grace placed a hand under Juice's chin and raised his face so that his eyes made contact with hers. "And it's ok if you don't do so good on your own, because I'm here. You're not alone anymore, baby."

Juice couldn't hold back for another second. He crashed his lips down onto hers. Unlike the almost platonic kiss they shared last night, this one was full of desire and out of control passion. He devoured her mouth and Gracie matched him with equal force. They were drowning in each other and it felt so fucking good. As he used his tongue to taste every inch of her, Gracie ran her fingers up the back of his head and scratched the back of his neck, causing him to moan loudly into her mouth. His hands moved from her waist to her hips and he pulled her firmly against him, becoming all too aware that he was still in his boxers. He rubbed his hardened cock against Gracie with nothing but two thin layers of cotton separating the two.

Gracie whimpered at the contact and lifted one of her legs so that it hugged Juice's hip and used it to grind herself harder against him.

Juice groaned. He pulled back and looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were filled with lust. "Fuck Grace, I want you baby."

She just nodded and went back in towards his lips, biting his bottom lip and sucking it into her mouth. She reached one of her hands down between them and palmed his cock through his boxers.

"Jesus Christ, Gracie."

She barely pulled her lips away, continued to rub his length, and whispered against his mouth, "I want to make you feel so good."

Juice growled against her mouth as he reached his hands down, grabbing Gracie's ass and squeezing, before lifting her up by the back of her thighs. Gracie's arms wrapped around his neck while her legs wrapped firmly around his waist. He walked the short distance to the kitchen table and sat Gracie down on the edge.

She leaned back slightly on her hands but kept her legs locked around Juice's middle. He continued to grind against her while sucking and licking down the side of her neck. Gracie was unable to stop the loud moan that escaped her as he began to knead her full breasts through her tank top.

"God, baby, that feels so good." He moved his thumbs in a circling motion over her hardened nipples and smiled against her neck when he heard her whimper.

"Do you like it when I play with your tits, sweetheart?"

Gracie threw her head back. "Fuck, yes."

Juice continued to touch her breast with one hand while using the other to travel down her flat stomach and cup her center over her thin little shorts. He was panting now against her neck.

"I want to touch you, Gracie. Let me touch you."

He heard her sigh. "Yes Juice, please."

Gracie spread her legs further open as Juice slid his hand down the inside of her shorts and began to use his fingers to rub her clit.

Gracie gasped as she looked up at Juice and made eye contact. "Fuck, right there. Oh god…"

Juice lowered his head to Grace's shoulder and bit down. "You're so wet already sweetheart. Is that all for me?"

Gracie was panting heavily. "Yes…Jesus…it's all for you, baby."

He raised his eyes back up and took in the sight before him. Gracie's whole body was flushed and she was biting her lip to keep from screaming in pleasure. Her nipples were still hard and visible through her shirt and her breasts were quickly rising and falling with each labored breath. She was coming undone and Juice thought he could come just from watching her.

Grace stared at Juice and then down at his hand, hidden by her clothing, moving swiftly and firmly through her folds and it was the hottest thing she'd ever seen. She was on fire, and could only imagine how amazing his dick would feel inside her if he was making her feel this good just from his fingers. She suddenly needed to give him the same pleasure that he was giving her.

She sat up a little straighter and used one of her hands to reach inside his boxers and wrap her hand around his cock.

"Oh, shit, Gracie!"

Juice looked down and watched as Gracie removed him from his boxers and began pumping her hand up and down. He was already painfully hard from touching Grace and if he wasn't careful he was going to come all over her hand.

He was about to tell her to slow down when leaned in and started kissing the base of his neck.

"God, Juice, you're fucking huge."

He felt her speed up her motion and use her thumb to spread his precum all over his sensitive tip.

"Oh fuck, I'm so hot for you right now, sweetheart. You gotta slow down or I'm gonna come in your hand."

Gracie just grasped him harder causing him to groan. "I want you to come, baby. I want to feel it all over me."

Juice just stared down at the wanton woman in front of him. His sweet, shy Gracie had a dirty little mouth and he fucking loved it.

He was dangerously close, but he needed to make Gracie come before he could find his release. He used his free hand to push Gracie back so that she was lying down across the table and was forced to let go of his now throbbing cock. He moved two fingers and sank them into her pussy, and then used his thumb to continue his assault on her swollen clit.

"Oh my god, Juice! Fuck, it's so good!"

He moved his free hand under her shirt and the moment he rolled her nipple between his fingers, he felt her walls clamp around his fingers and a surge of wetness soak his hand.

Gracie screamed. "Juice, baby, I'm coming! I'm coming!"

The sight of her climaxing and the tightness of her pussy around his hand almost sent him over the edge. He clenched his jaw to keep from coming in his pants as he continued his touch to prolong Grace's orgasm.

As soon as the last aftershock had passed, Gracie sat up and looked at Juice with a dazed, satisfied look on her face. She flashed him a sexy smile and then wrapped her hand back around his dick.

She pumped him hard and fast while whispering in his ear. "That was the hardest I ever came, baby. I've never been so wet. I've never felt so good." She traced his ear with her tongue and then bit down on his earlobe.

It was all too much. The image in his mind of Gracie falling apart in front of him, the feel of her hand wrapped tightly around him, the dirty shit that she kept whispering all sent him spiraling.

He started to thrust upwards into her grasp. "Oh, shit. Gracie, I'm gonna come!"

A loud groan escaped as he used his arms to brace himself against the edge of the table and he felt his cum spurt out all over Grace's hand. When he finished he leaned forward, his head resting on her shoulder, and tried to catch his breath. He felt her wipe her hand on the inside of his boxers and gently tuck his still semi hard penis back in his shorts. He looked up at Grace in time to see her raise her hand and inspected it. Finding one little drop of cum still on her finger, she looked at Juice and bit her lip before putting the tip of her finger in her mouth and licking it clean.

She leaned forward and gave him a slow sensual kiss. "You taste so good."

His eyes widened and he felt his cock start to twitch. "Jesus, baby. Are you trying to kill me? That's fucking hot."

Gracie just giggled. "No, Juan Carlos. You're fucking hot."

Juice just smiled and laughed before tangling his hands in her hair and kissing her.

They were still there a few minutes later, Juice's hands fondling her tits again and Gracie's legs wrapped tightly around his waist, when they heard someone coughing right behind them.

They pulled apart and turned around to find Tara and Jax standing in the kitchen, both with shit eating grins on their faces.

He quickly pulled down Gracie's shirt and she made sure that he was safely tucked back into his boxers. She hopped off the table and stood beside Juice who nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and threw his arm around Gracie's waist.

He looked down at her and grinned. She was obviously embarrassed.

He turned his eyes towards Jax and smiled. "Hey VP."

Jax tried to hide the laughter in his voice. "Hey there, Juice."

Tara bit her lip to keep from cracking up at the look on her best friend's face. "Good morning, Gracie Jane."

Grace scowled at Tara but there was laughter behind her eyes. "Good Morning, Doc."

A few awkward moments of silence passed before Jax sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and smiled up at Gracie.

"Smells good in here, darlin'. What's for breakfast?"


	13. Chapter 13

**100 followers! Wow, my readers apparently love the smuttiness…thank you all so much for the positive response to the last chapter. I was a nervous wreck after I posted it until I saw some happy reviews come in. Turns out, much like Gracie, I'm dirtier than I ever imagined. Very special shout out to my 5 or 6 followers that review almost **_**every single **__**chapter**_**. You know who you are. Your support means a lot to me, so thanks again!**

**Sorry, this chapter is insanely long, but I couldn't figure out where to cut it off.**

Chapter 13

Gracie would have smiled at the very cocky, very cute man staring at her expectantly from her kitchen table if she wasn't so fucking embarrassed.

She tried to make her voice sound strong, but it came out a shaky stammer. "Breakfast…uh…yeah, that sounds good. Let me, uh…"

Grace looked down at herself wearing nothing but a thin pair of sleep shorts and a tiny tank top. She quickly crossed her arms over her chest to hide the very obvious fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. Suddenly uncomfortable knowing everyone was looking at her, she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. She raised her eyes to Juice for help, but he was just staring down at her with a very amused look on his face. She wanted to be pissed, but he was too damn adorable to ever be mad at, so she just rolled her eyes at him.

She tried her best to make eye contact with Jax. "So, I'm a little…underdressed right now. I'm just going to, um…"

Gracie looked frozen, unsure of how to make an exit. Juice finally took pity on her and pulled at one of her crossed arms so that he could hold her hand. He should have done it earlier, but he thought she looked so fucking cute when she got all flustered. Pulling her towards the hallway he said, "Gracie and I are gonna go change our clothes, and then we can eat, ok?"

Jax just gave him a knowing smile. "Sure you are, Juicey. Just don't take too long 'changing your clothes' man. I'm starving."

Gracie just hid her beet red face in her free hand while Juice grinned as they made their way back to her bedroom.

* * *

Gracie practically ran into her room. "Oh my god, Juice. That was…"

But before she could finish her thought, Juice shut the door and wrapped himself around her from behind, his hands immediately landing on her breasts. He leaned in to whisper in her ear at the same time rubbing his cock against her ass.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are, sweetheart?"

She couldn't help but sigh as she felt her body melt back into his arms. Juice started kissing the back of her neck, licking and softly biting where the base met her shoulder. She raised her hands to his wrists in a half hearted attempt to pull them away from her breasts.

Her voice came out breathless. "Baby, what are you doing? We can't…oh, that's…Juice… we have to stop. Jax and Tara are…"

He turned her around and slammed her back against the bedroom door. He used one of his arms to gently pin both of her arms above her head while he used the other to slowly travel down the side of her body to her hip. He pushed into her center and they both gasped at the friction.

He flashed a sexy grin and once again started to kiss up and down the length of her neck. "The way to touched me, sweetheart, the things you said…you drive me crazy. You're so fucking hot, Gracie.

Gracie could feel her resolve crumbling with every word out of his mouth. She could barely remember her own name, let alone whatever stupid reason she had for almost stopping him before. Then Juice moved his mouth from her neck to her lips and she was lost. He was relentless as he shoved his tongue in her mouth and explored every inch. He had one hand tangled in the back of her hair and one was grasping her hip so hard she thought it might bruise. She instantly raised her hands to his chest and grabbed his t-shirt for some leverage.

His assault on her mouth continued for a few minutes, but just when she was ready to peel off all of her clothes and throw him on the bed, Juice pulled away.

Juice never broke eye contact as he backed a few feet away. "We gotta stop now sweetheart."

He couldn't help but grin when he saw the confused, pouty expression on Grace's face. It was fucking adorable.

She was still trying to catch her breath. "And why is that, Ortiz?"

Juice smiled as he slowly approached her again, reaching out and gently placing his hands on her hips. "Because if I keep kissing you like that, I'm gonna lose what little control I have and I'm gonna fuck you against this door. I won't give a fuck that Tara and Jax will hear you scream, I won't care that we'll have to rush, I won't care about anything except finally being inside you."

Juice placed one hand underneath Gracie's chin and tilted it up so that he could give her a small, closed mouth kiss. He stared down into those beautiful green eyes, darkened and hazy with want, and was overcome with the love he felt for her.

His voice came out as a whisper. "But that's not what I want for us, Gracie Jane. Not the first time we're together." He glanced over to her bed and pointed before returning his gaze. "Our first time will be right there, no one else will be here, and I'm going to take my time. Ok?"

Gracie wanted to throw her arms around him, but she just nodded and smiled softly. _Who knew my big, strong biker would be such a romantic?_ She placed her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him one more time before walking over to her dresser and getting some clothes. She opened the door and was about to walk to the bathroom to change when she turned around to look at the man that had become her everything.

She gave Juice a small sweet smile. "You know, Juan Carlos? You're really something special."

He looked a little uncomfortable at the comment, suddenly rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at the floor. "Maybe if you keep telling me I'll believe you someday."

Gracie just shook her head in disbelief. He really had no idea how wonderful he was. "Then that's what I'm going to do."

He raised his eyes and smiled back at her before she closed the door. As Gracie walked to the bathroom, the words she had really wanted to say kept playing over and over in her mind. _If you'd let me, I'd tell you how special you are every day for the rest of my life…because I love you._

* * *

As soon as Juice and Grace left the kitchen, Jax looked over at Tara and they both busted up laughing. He had tears in his eyes, he was laughing so hard.

"Oh my God, I've never seen someone turn so red in my life."

Tara tried her best to stop giggling. "Yeah, that's kind of Gracie's trademark. She embarrasses really easily."

Jax gave her a teasing grin. "Don't know why she would. She's pretty hot and hot women can get away with anything."

Tara punched his shoulder and shook her head, still laughing. "Good to know you're still an ass, Jackson."

His smile widened. "Come on Dr. Knowles, you know I'm just kidding. She's not hot at all…"

Tara just raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Jax raised his hands up in the air in surrender.

"OK, some men may find her really fucking hot…" Tara went to punch him again but Jax quickly grabbed her wrist. Holding it gently, he looked up at her and gave her his flirtiest smile, "but she just doesn't do it for me. You know I've always had a thing for brunettes."

Jax winked at her and smirked. She rolled her eyes at him but was unable to hide her smile. He was so adorable when he was like this; silly and flirty, just like the boy she knew ten years ago.

Jax rubbed his thumb over the inside of her wrist for just a moment before releasing his hold on her. He stared at her with a far off look in his eye.

Pointing to the end of the table where Juice and Grace had been wrapped around each other, Jax smiled and said, "Do you remember when we were in that phase?"

Tara grinned. "And what phase is that?"

He leaned back in his chair and ran his hand through his long blond hair. "Oh you know, the 'getting caught doing it anywhere and everywhere because we can't keep our hands off each other' phase?"

Tara looked down and tried to stifle her grin. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jax gave her an incredulous look. "Oh really? No idea? You don't remember Piney catching us in the storage room at the clubhouse?"

Tara threw her head back and laughed. "Oh my god, what about Clay walking in on you with your pants down behind his tool bench in the garage?"

He shook his head and smiled. "Nothing was worse than Gemma catching us in the back of her car."

When their laughter faded a few moments later, they both looked at each other warmly. They shared so much history. Sure, some of it was bad. But there was a whole lot more that was really fucking good.

Tara looked down at the table and sighed. "God, Jax, that all seems like a million years ago."

Jackson reached out and held both of Tara's hands in his own. "Not to me, darlin'. Feels like yesterday."

* * *

Several minutes later, Gracie came back to the kitchen wearing a pair of yoga pants, a Superman t-shirt and, to her relief, all of her underwear. Juice followed a few seconds later in the clothes he wore the night before, except for his now ruined boxers.

Juice sat down in one of the empty chairs as Grace rounded the table and went directly to Jax, sticking out her hand and finally returning his bright smile from earlier.

"Hey Jax. Sorry, uh, about earlier. We haven't officially been introduced. I'm Grace. It's really nice to finally meet you."

Jax shook his hand and returned her smile. "Don't worry about it. Nice to meet you too."

Gracie turned to start pouring everyone coffee. "So where did you two come from this morning?"

Tara got up to put creamer and sugar on the table. "I was on call last night. Jax was visiting Abel when I was almost done with my shift, so he offered to give me a ride home."

Gracie turned her head and, without Tara noticing, gave Jax a secret wink. "Well that was nice of him."

Jax just smirked. He instantly liked this girl.

Gracie started pulling all the food out of the oven that she had been keeping warm since Juice got up. While Tara quickly set the table, Gracie retrieved a huge stack of pancakes, bacon, sausage, and scrambled eggs. She noticed both Jax and Juice's eyes were wide as she placed the maple syrup and butter on the table, finally sitting down in a chair beside Juice.

Jax smiled. "Damn woman, if you cook like this every morning I may start showing up here more often."

Gracie looked over at Juice and grinned before looking down at her plate. "Well, I wasn't sure what Juice liked for breakfast, so I kind of made everything I had."

Tara watched across the table as Juice took Gracie's hand and held it between his own in his lap. The two just smiled and stared at each other like they were the only two people in the universe. She couldn't help but grin. Tara still had her reservations about her best friend dating a Son, but it was obvious that Juice genuinely cared about Grace and, so far, was making her happier than she had ever seen her.

Jax took a huge bite of his pancakes and groaned. "These are the best fucking pancakes I've ever had." Jax looked over at Tara and Juice and with his mouth still full said, "Don't tell Bobby I said that."

They both laughed. Juice looked over at Gracie. "Bobby's one of our brothers. He loves to cook, really good at it actually. If we ever get to eat pancakes, he usually makes them for us." Juice leaned over and whispered against her ear. "But yours taste better. I bet everything of yours tastes better."

Gracie turned her head to look at Juice with a shocked expression on her face. Her eyes were widened and her cheeks were instantly red. Juice just laughed and kissed her on the forehead while she playfully elbowed him in the side.

Jax and Tara observed the two and gave each other a knowing smile. The scene in front of them was all too familiar. Juice and Gracie looked exactly like Jax and Tara did 10 years ago. They were completely in love with each other.

Gracie turned back to her coffee and to the man sitting across from her. "So Jax, I want to hear all about Abel."

The next hour was spent laughing and getting to know each other. Jax told Gracie about Abel's progress and how excited he was that his son was improving so quickly. They both agreed that it was because of Tara's excellent care, which made the doctor just shake her head and roll her eyes. Tara and Gracie told some of their wilder stories from Chicago, including the time when they almost got arrested for public indecency at a Mardis Gras party because they were too drunk to realize they had taken their shirts off.

Jax couldn't get over how much he liked Grace. She was so sweet and open, completely opposite from most of the women in his life. She seemed honest, friendly, and just…nice. When she asked about Abel, he could tell her concern was genuine. She wasn't just trying to be polite. Looking at the expression on Juice's face, he could also tell that she was going to be really good for his brother. Sure, he fucked with him and gave him a hard time, but Jax loved Juice like he loved all his brothers. He wanted the best for him and Gracie was clearly a quality girl. But most of all, Jax loved the way that Grace had been there for Tara all those years that she had been away from Charming. He had thought about her constantly; where she was, who she was with, but mostly, if she was happy. Tara had always been on the lonely side. Her parents were neglectful at best and she never really made any friends. Other than Jax, she never had anyone she could count on…until now. Grace obviously loved Tara like a sister and it meant everything to Jax that the girl he had loved his whole life finally had someone in her corner.

* * *

Tara and Gracie were at the sink washing dishes while Jax and Juice were sitting at the table talking about some sort of Harley engine that they had been working on at the garage. Tara glanced over at the guys at the table and then over to her best friend. The whole thing seemed so…normal. She couldn't help but smile. She and Jax's relationship could be described in a lot of ways. Normal wasn't one of them.

The peaceful moment was interrupted when Jax's phone started to ring.

"Hey, Clay. What's up?" Jax listened for a few seconds before turning to Juice and nodding. "Yeah, I'll be there in five minutes. I'm with Juicey. He'll be there too."

Jax flipped his phone closed and looked at Juice. "We gotta roll brother."

Both men got up from the table and walked over to where the girls were standing. Jax gave Gracie a peck on the cheek.

"It was really nice to finally meet you, darlin'. Thanks for breakfast."

Gracie smiled. "You're welcome, Jax, anytime. Nice to meet you too."

He then went to Tara and gave her another kiss on the cheek, though this one lingered a few moments longer. "Good to see you, Doc."

Tara just nodded. "You too, Jax. Be careful."

Jax just flashed his trademark smirk. "Always, babe."

Juice looked at Tara and gave her a sheepish grin. "Good to see you again, Tara."

Tara nodded. "You too, Juice." She leaned in to give him a hug and when she was close enough whispered in his ear. "You hurt her, I'll cut your balls off. Got it?"

She felt Juice nod and heard him whisper back, "I got it."

Juice turned towards Gracie and pulled her in for a quick hug. "Thank you, sweetheart, again, for everything. I'll call you as soon as I can, ok?"

Gracie pulled back slightly and rested her hand on Juice's cheek. "Ok." She leaned in and gave him a small sweet kiss on the lips.

He flashed her that big, goofy smile that she loved so much before turning towards the door. Jax and Juice both put on their kuttes before walking out the door. When the sound of their bikes faded in the distance, Tara turned towards Gracie, taking her hand and leading her back to the kitchen table where they both sat down.

Tara looked at Grace with a serious expression. "Alright, Miss Anderson, it's time for class."

Gracie laughed at her friend in confusion. "Oh really? And what class is that?"

Tara just smirked. "Old Lady 101."

* * *

Two hours later Gracie's head was spinning. Tara had sat her down and explained that if she was really going to get serious with Juice that she deserved to know what she was getting herself into. She explained what was expected of an old lady, the respect that they commanded, and the shit that they took. She introduced her to terms she had never heard before, namely croweaters and sweetbutts. She was told about the optional, 'what happens on a run stays on a run' policy that most of the couples adopted. Finally she explained the significance of the crow tattoo.

Gracie looked at Tara incredulously. "I knew you didn't just 'really like crows' you dirty liar!"

Tara laughed. "Oh, come on! How else was I ever going to explain to you what my tattoo meant? You would never have understood it."

Grace just rolled her eyes. "Ok, so since you still have your tattoo, are you automatically still Jax's old lady or something?"

Tara shook her head. "No, when I left, Jax and I were over. My crow doesn't mean I'm still his old lady, but it does mean that I can never be with another club member."

Gracie ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "This is a lot to take in."

Tara took one of Gracie's hands in her own and nodded. "I grew up in this shit and still don't understand it all. I can only imagine how you feel.

Tara got up from the table, kissed Gracie on the top of the head, and went to her bedroom. She had been up all night working and exhaustion was setting in. Gracie on the other hand was completely wired thanks to the old lady immersion class she had just been through. She knew the only thing that would clear her mind was a good run, so she quickly changed into her running gear and headed out the door.

* * *

As Gracie ran down Main Street she saw Dr. Danielson walking out of Floyd's Barbershop. She hadn't seen him since the night Tristan Oswald was brought into the hospital.

When he saw her, he smiled and waved. Grace slowed to a stop in front of him and took off her headphones. "Hey Dr. Danielson. Nice hair cut."

The handsome doctor returned her smile. "Grace, we're not at the hospital. I think it's safe for you to call me Jeremy."

Gracie blushed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sorry. Nice hair, Jeremy." Grace was starting to jog past him. "Well, see you later."

Before she could get away, Jeremy reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Hey, Grace. Listen, I was wondering. If you're free one night, I would really like to take you to dinner."

She stood there staring in shock for a moment before trying her best to recover. "Wow…uh, thanks. Really, I'm flattered, but I'm seeing someone."

Jeremy just offered her a small smile and nodded. "I figured a woman as nice and as beautiful as you couldn't be single. Had to give it a shot though. No harm done?"

Gracie shook her head and returned his smile. "No harm done. See you at work. Bye."

She turned around and ran back towards her house, her mind now filled with more questions than when she started.

* * *

Gracie was sitting in her living room watching some late night TV when she heard the familiar rumble of a motorcycle outside her house. She walked outside just as Juice as getting off his Harley.

Juice wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close for a long slow kiss.

Gracie smiled up at him. "How was your day, baby?"

Juice groaned. His day was spent stealing a truck, drugging a Doberman, and loading guns, all beside Tig who had been an asshole all god damn day. But instead of saying all that he just said, "It was stressful."

Gracie leaned in and gave him another kiss, but before it could get too heated, Juice reluctantly pulled away. "I'm sorry, baby. I can't stay. I've gotta go out of town tonight for a while, but I wanted to see you before I left."

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. "Am I allowed to ask where?"

"Nevada. Just don't mention it to anyone."

Gracie stared down at the ground. She hated having this conversation, but knew that she would hate it even more if she didn't. "So…is this considered a run?"

Juice just looked at her, confused. "Yeah, why?"

Gracie looked into those beautiful brown eyes and tried to think of a way of asking this that didn't make her sound like an idiot. After a few moments, she ran her hands through her hair, giving up and just opted for the honest to god truth.

"Juice, listen, one of the doctors from St. Thomas saw me when I was running today and asked me out on a date." Gracie instantly shook her head when she saw the angry expression on Juice's face. "I told him no. I said that I was, you know, seeing someone. I guess it just made me think about how this, between us, is still really new, and how we haven't had the 'are we exclusive' talk yet. So, I guess I just need to know…"

Juice's lips fell onto hers, silencing her rambling. His kiss was full of emotion, passion, and force. He was holding Gracie so tightly, she had to bend slightly backwards and hold onto his kutte for balance. She opened her mouth to allow his tongue entrance, and he completely dominated her. A few seconds later, he pulled back from the kiss as suddenly as he had begun it.

He pulled back and stared directly at the woman he fucking worshiped and hoped he could hide the fear from his eyes.

Juice's voice was uncertain and pleading. "Please don't be with anyone else. I know you could be with a million other guys that are all better for you than me, but please, sweetheart. Stay with me."

Gracie wrapped her arms around his shoulders and scratched gently at the back of his neck, the way she knew he loved. "Baby, listen to me. There is no one else better for me than you…no one. I was never going to be with anyone else. You're the only person I want. But, Tara talked to me about some of the…um, I guess the club rules. And she told me that when you're on runs you guys are...you know, with other women and stuff. I know it's really early and I'm not trying to force you into anything. I guess I just wanted to know where I stand."

She looked down at the ground, too embarrassed to say another word. She felt Juice's hands on either side of her face, gently tilting it up so that they were staring at each other again.

Juice just looked at her like she was crazy. He hadn't been with a croweater since before that night in the St. Thomas parking lot when they decided to try and be 'friends'. _Why the fuck would I want someone else? I've fucked random women for the last five years, and none of them got me off the way Gracie's hand job did. She's the sexiest woman on the planet and I fucking love her. Why would I risk that for tired pussy that means absolutely nothing? _

He knew he couldn't say those words to her so he tried to pour all of his unspoken emotions into his voice. "Gracie, you are the only person I want. I don't care if I'm in Charming, or on a run, or on the other side of the world. I won't be with anyone else. I could never hurt you like that. You're the only one I want, the only one I'll be with. Just you. I promise."

He tried to read the expression on Gracie's face, but he was lost. "Are we good, sweetheart?"

She finally smiled and relaxed into his arms. "Better than good."

Juice got back on his Harley, but before he could pull away, Gracie gave him one more small, sweet kiss. "Call me when you get there, ok? I just want to know you're safe." Juice reached out and gently ran his fingers through her hair. She reached up and grasped the hand in her own and held it while meeting his gaze. "And just, come back to me, ok?"

Juice kissed her forehead and then whispered. "Every time, sweetheart. I'll come back to you every time."

With those words still hanging in the air, Juice drove out of her driveway and into the night.

**Review please!**


	14. Chapter 14

**So exciting to see all of the new follows and favorites! Consistently blown away by the love this story is getting. And thanks to all the guests who are reviewing. I can't PM you and thank you personally, but I really appreciate your feedback! You guys are making me feel all kinds of good about myself :)**

**Here's another chapter, mostly **_**a lot**_** of background information on our main characters. This isn't the chapter I intended on writing, but when I sat down to type, this is what came out. The Rascal Flatts song "Bless the Broken Road" was on constant loop in my head while I was writing. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 14

There were very few things that Grace Anderson truly hated; in fact, she could count them on one hand. She hated spiders, abhorred reality television, couldn't stand the smell of cigars, and loathed the taste of pickled anything. And now she could add one more thing to her list…she absolutely hated being hundreds of miles away from Juan Carlos Ortiz.

Juice had only been gone for four days so far, but they had been four of the longest days of her life. She was grateful that she had been busy at work for the first three days after he left for the run, which meant that at least 12 hours of her day were occupied with thoughts other than how much she missed Juice. But that left the rest of the week to sit at home and do nothing but think about beautiful brown eyes and the sexy, amazing man that came with them. He had kept his promise, calling her the moment he reached his destination, which was apparently another clubhouse somewhere outside of Reno. They only talked for a few minutes that first night, just long enough for him to say that he had arrived safely. But he had called and texted every day since and the two spoke for hours each night before they fell asleep…

* * *

As Juice sat in the Indian Hills clubhouse, which doubled as a brothel, he couldn't help but laugh at the irony. The very first time in his life he promises to be faithful to a woman, he is immediately sent away to spend a week surrounded by prostitutes.

He had been to the Devil's Tribe clubhouse years before, and it had been like being a kid in a fucking candy shop. But now as he looked around at all the half-naked hookers and sweetbutts, not one of them tempted him in the slightest. One of them had green eyes, but they weren't the right crystal clear shade. One had red hair, but it wasn't the right coppery auburn color. Most of them had nice bodies, but none of them had just the right balance of full breasts, curvy hips, and a tight little waist. None of them were Gracie. Hell, none of them even came close.

His days were spent guarding the gun shipment, hanging out with his new patched-over brothers, and updating the security and computer systems for Jury. But when darkness would fall and the nightly parties would begin, Juice always made his way up to his room alone, locked the door, and spent hours listening to the only voice in the world he wanted to hear before he fell asleep…

* * *

The first night they talked about movies; the ones they loved, the ones they hated, and ones that they claimed to hate but secretly loved. Juice admitted that he may or may not have shed a tear at the end of _Armageddon_, a fact that he had never told another living soul, and made Gracie swear on her comic book collection that she would never, ever repeat. In return, Gracie told him that the only movie that ever truly terrified her was _Arachnophobia_, and she made him swear on his computer that he would, for the rest of their relationship, always kill the spiders that inevitably made their way into her house and scared the shit out of her. He just laughed. If that was all it took to be Gracie's knight in shining armor, he would definitely kill all the spiders.

The second night they talked about food. Juice went on and on about how much he loved the breakfast that she had made for him the morning before he left for Nevada. Gracie explained that since it was just she and her father, she had to learn how to cook since her dad couldn't boil water. She laughed when she told him that the same theme continued when she moved in with Tara. The girl could perform open heart surgery on a newborn baby, but couldn't quite figure out how to fry an egg. For all the years they lived together in Chicago, Gracie had to cook every day or she and Tara would have lived on nothing but take-out, frozen pizza, and ramen noodles. Juice admitted that he very rarely got a home cooked meal, except for Gemma's Sunday dinners, and knew how to make nothing himself except for his morning protein shakes. He learned that Grace's all time favorite meal was fried chicken and waffles, because her mom was from the south and used to make it for her when she was a little girl. She learned that Juice's favorite food was spaghetti and meatballs because it reminded him of New York and the little Italian couple that lived in his apartment building who would have him over for dinner when his mom forgot to buy food.

The third night they discussed their childhoods. For all the long conversations they had in the past, they had both avoided the darker parts of their histories. But something about being on the phone made it easier for them to open up, maybe because they didn't have to look into each others eyes and risk seeing their own sadness reflected back. Juice went first. He told Grace that he was born in Queens to Carmen Ortiz, a crack addicted mom who was already struggling to raise a little girl, his older sister Maria, on her own. His mom was Puerto Rican and, as far as he knew, he had no other family in the states. He never knew his father, not even his name, and had always secretly suspected that the man was either a dealer or a john. Once when he was eight years old, he asked his mom about his father, but after a solid slap across the face, he never asked again.

Despite having high IQ scores and aptitude tests, J.C. Ortiz, as everyone had always called him, struggled in school. His ADHD kept him from focusing and his issues with authority made it impossible for him to respect the teachers at his school and, as he got a little older, the cops that patrolled his neighborhood. His breaking point came when he was 16. He got in a brawl with one of his mom's boyfriends and she promptly kicked him out of the apartment. His older sister had run off years before and he hadn't seen her since. So he dropped out of high school, packed what little shit he owned, and moved in with some guys he met during one of his stints in juvie. It was then that he started to come into his own. One of his roommates had a computer and when he sat in front of it for the first time and started fucking around with the programming codes, it was like everything made sense to him in a way that it never had before. To most people the lines of script and numbers meant nothing, but to him they represented order, structure, and art. And from there, his life as a hacker began.

A few months later he got a part time job in a garage, learned how to fix cars and drive a motorcycle, stole his first Harley, and his life was changed forever. Every moment of his life was spent in front of a computer screen or flying down the highway on his bike. That went on for a few more years, but around his 21st birthday, Juice hacked into the bank accounts of some pretty bad men and quickly needed to get the hell out of New York for awhile. A guy he'd grown up with had moved to Oakland, California a few years earlier, so he called him up and asked if he could come and hide out for a few months. The next day Juice packed as much as his saddlebags could hold and drove his bike across the country. His buddy had some connections and helped him get some under the table freelance work hacking for some guys around Oakland. Apparently in the short time he was there, he built a pretty solid reputation, because one day a young guy named Jax Teller showed up, saying that he had heard of Juice and asked him to do some background checks. He did the work and Jax was impressed, even more so when he learned that the computer genius was also a Harley rider. He invited him to the clubhouse the next day, introduced him to the other members of the MC, and after two years of hanging around and prospecting, J.C. Ortiz became Juice, a fully patched brother and Intelligence Officer for the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original. The day he got his top rocker was the proudest day of his life. He finally had the family he'd always wanted and the rest was history.

Grace hung on every word of Juice's story and was struck by how differently their lives had begun. She was born in Valdosta, Georgia to two loving parents who absolutely adored her. Her father, James Anderson, was from Pennsylvania. He was the only son of middle class parents who both died before Gracie was born. He enlisted in the military right out of high school and did his basic training in North Carolina. While stationed there he met a beautiful young woman named Rose who was on summer vacation. They always told Gracie it was love at first sight.

Four years later they were married and less than a year after that, Grace Jane Anderson was born. Her father always wanted to be a career military man, and Grace and her mom always moved with him to the various bases where he had been stationed. Most of her early childhood as a military brat was spent on bases in Texas, Germany, and Japan, with her summers being spent with her mom and Grandma Janie on the family farm in Valdosta.

Other than not having many friends due to her constant relocating, Gracie had to admit that her life was pretty close to perfect; that is, until the week after her 10th birthday when her dad came home in tears and told her that her mommy had been in a car accident and had passed away. There was no drunk driver, no other car at fault that she could blame for changing her life forever; just a stupid deer on the highway that caused her mom to swerve into a tree.

Her father put in for a training command after her mother's death so that he could be home with Grace on base. Her Grandma Janie begged her father for custody but he wouldn't hear of being separated from his daughter. Although never fully escaping the grief and loss from her mom's death, Gracie had a very happy life with her father. He was everything to her, and she was his world. James never remarried, instead choosing to devote his whole life to his daughter and his career.

When Gracie turned 18 she decided to go back to the states for college, even though the only person she really knew there, her grandmother, had died a few years earlier. With Gracie out of the house, her father once again began combat deployments. The day she arrived on the University of Chicago campus, thrilled to be starting her nursing program, she walked into her dorm and met her roommate, Tara Knowles, and the two almost instantly became best friends.

Gracie saw her father every time he had leave, talked on the phone with him as much as possible, and they emailed each other almost daily. She became worried when she hadn't heard from him for over a week and then, a few days before her college graduation, her worst nightmare became a reality. Her father had been killed in action.

After graduation, Tara started medical school and Gracie got her first job as a registered nurse. From there, Juice already knew the rest.

When Gracie had finished speaking, she heard Juice sigh. "Jesus, Gracie. I'm not sure what's worse. Being raised by a shitty mom and never knowing your dad, or loving both your parents and then having them ripped away from you."

Gracie wiped a tear away. It had been a really long time since she had talked about her mom and dad's deaths. "I decided a few months after my dad died that I would live with my parent's memories, not with their deaths. I wouldn't be sad about the time I lost with them, but I would be grateful for every single wonderful minute that we had together. It's the only way I keep going."

Gracie took a deep breath and paused before she continued. "You know, I'm not one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. I think shitty things happen to good people for no reason all the time. But I do believe that everything that happens in your life makes you who you are, either in spite of those things or because of them. I could have decided to be angry at the world, but in spite of my losses, I made a choice to live a life that would honor my parents, because more than anything I know they just wanted me to be happy. And even though you went through all the shit in your past, you moved across the country and started a whole new life for yourself, surrounded yourself with a whole new group of people that love you, and you decided to devote your life to your club, something you truly believe in. Do you have any idea how inspiring you are, Ortiz?"

Juice had to swallow the lump in his throat before speaking. _How can someone be so fucking beautiful inside and out? How does she consistently make me feel like I'm worth a damn? How the fuck did I live 28 years without her? God, I fucking love this woman._ He said the only words that came to his mind. "I don't deserve you, Gracie."

Grace's voice was quiet but full of sincerity. "Juice, you and I have both been through a lot of shit, but I honestly wouldn't change any of it. Because every choice we ever made in our past led us both to Charming, somehow led us both to the bakery that morning…you know, I don't know if I really believe in anything that I can't see, but maybe God or karma or something decided that you and I had been through enough shit and that we needed something good. I don't think it's a matter of you deserving me or me deserving you. Maybe fate decided that we both needed a break and deserved something that makes us happy. Maybe fate decided that we deserve each other."

Juice's heart was aching in his chest with love for this girl. In that moment, he wanted to tell her he loved her more than he ever wanted to say anything. But he knew he couldn't over the phone, knew that he had to be looking into her gorgeous green eyes when the words finally came out of his mouth. So he fought to hold those three little words back and said this instead. "You know sweetheart, I actually do believe in God. I always have, but I always thought the 'God loves you' stuff was bullshit. I figured because of the fucked up life I had that maybe he didn't care about me very much, or maybe he just forgot that he ever fucking created me in the first place. But I'm pretty sure I've been wrong, that he must love me…because there is no other explanation for why he would give me you."

* * *

A few minutes later after they both said their goodnights, Juice laid awake in his room at the Nevada clubhouse, staring at the ceiling. His mind went into rewind as he relived every single minute he had ever spent with Gracie. And as he thought about all the moments of true fucking happiness that he had experienced since meeting her, he felt the need to do something that he hadn't done since he was a little boy back in Queens. He closed his eyes, clasped his hands, and prayed, thanking God for his angel, Grace Jane Anderson.

**As always, please review...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 isn't actually a chapter at all. It's just a note to address some concerns brought to my attention about the last chapter...**

**Another author on this site who I very much admire, TeamBlaus4Ever, wrote me a very polite, very respectful PM. She was concerned that I borrowed some of her ideas from one of her Juice fics for my Juice backstory. Namely, her story also included him getting into a fight with his stepdad and subsequently getting kicked out of his apartment and becoming estranged from her sister. Her story also includes a couple that would give Juice food on occasion to help him out.**

**I will tell all of you, as I told her, any similarities between the two stories was completely unintentional. I told her my reasoning for including all of that in my fic, but regardless of my intentions, the truth is I did read her story and it very possible that her work was the inspiration for those details, albeit subconsciously. I follow her story and she follows mine, and I have told her in the past how much I love her fic. Like all of you, I have read ****_hundreds_**** of SOA fics over the last several months, and I guess it was inevitable that some of it may have leaked into my psyche. I reassured her, as I will reassure all of my followers, that it was an innocent mistake and that I would NEVER knowingly plagiarize another author on this site.**

**I have nothing but love for anyone that dares to put themselves out there and publish their own words for other people's pleasure. Unfortunately this story isn't a big part of my life. I get to sit down once a week for about two hours and think about Juice and Gracie. Please believe that if there ever comes a day when I truly can't come up with any original ideas, I wouldn't steal other people's work. I would just stop writing.**

**So anyway, TeamBlaus4Ever reassured me that it happens to the best of us, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate her understanding. And if you haven't followed her story in question, DO IT LIKE A DUDE, you should, because it's awesome.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Home sick with strep throat. Blah. But on the bright side, I got to write another chapter way earlier than I expected. Thanks again for all the positive feedback on the last chapter. Unfortunately, there's no Juice in this update, but I think it's time to move the story further into season one… and best of all, time for Gracie to meet some of our other favorite Sons…**

Chapter 16

As Gracie got out of the shower this morning and wiped the steam from the mirror, she couldn't help but smile at her giddy reflection. _Only two more days._ Juice had called her late last night and told her that he would be coming home in a couple of days, probably driving through the night to get back to Charming the following morning. She knew that Jax had arrived back a few days earlier, because she saw him at the hospital visiting Abel.

Grace had no idea what the run was for or why Juice was still in Nevada, and she really didn't care. She just wanted him home safe. She loved all of their long, late night talks that they'd shared over the last few days, and she realized that after each one, she fell even more in love with him than she already was, something that never ceased to amaze her. It made her want him back all the more.

She went into her bedroom and threw on a pair of short denim shorts, a fitted button down flannel with the sleeves rolled up, and flip flops. She and Tara both had the day off and were planning their very first Girl's Day since moving to California. They used to try and do them once a month. They would spend the whole day together, just the two of them, doing something insanely girly and fun. One day they bought a fake engagement ring and pretended that Tara was getting married so that they could spend hours in a boutique trying on wedding dresses. Another day they went to a salon and got head to toe makeovers before dressing up and taking a dinner cruise on Lake Michigan. Today would be just as awesome but a little more low key. They were going to a spa in Stockton to get manicures, pedicures, and massages, to the movies to see whatever chick-flick was playing, and then dinner at a new Sushi bar.

She had been looking forward to this day for more than one reason. Honestly, Gracie was worried about her best friend. Tara had seemed a little…off the last couple of days. It seemed like the slightest noise made her jumpy and any sudden movements made her flinch. When Grace asked her what was going on, Tara brushed off her concern and said that she was just stressed out at work and by how much she's been seeing Jax. Grace didn't buy it for a second, but she knew that Tara would only talk about whatever was bothering her when she was good and ready. So in the mean time, she intended on keeping a very close eye on the woman that was her sister in every way that mattered.

Tara was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee when Gracie came out of her room.

"Ready to go, Knowles?"

Tara smiled. A day away with Gracie Jane was exactly what she needed right now. "Absolutely."

They were walking outside towards Tara's car when they both looked up and froze. There were rose petals meticulously laid out in the shape of a heart on the hood of the cutlass.

Gracie got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Please tell me Jax did this."

She looked at Tara's stricken expression and could see the color draining from her face.

Tara shook her head. "It's Joshua. He found me."

* * *

Gracie grabbed Tara's hand and pulled her back into the house, quickly locking the door behind her and peaking out through the blinds. It was so rare that she got mad about anything, but right now, Grace was furious.

She tried her best to keep her voice calm and even. "Tara, do you want to tell me why you don't seem at all surprised that your stalker is in Charming?"

Tara looked up at the ceiling and sighed before running her hands down her face. "Because he's been in contact with me now for over a week."

Any control that Gracie had quickly disappeared when she heard those words. She was yelling now. "What? Seriously, Knowles? That's what's been bothering you all week? What do you mean he's been in contact with you? And how could you not tell me? The man is obsessed with you, Tara! And he's violent!"

Tara sat back down at the kitchen table and took a sip from her previously abandoned cup of coffee. "Sit down, Gracie. I'll tell you everything."

Gracie held Tara's shaking hand as she relayed the events of the last week. First Tara had received a phone call from Josh on her cell, although she has no idea how he got the number. He then approached her in the hospital, saying that he was here for part of a federal investigation involving SAMCRO.

Gracie was confused. "Why would the ATF care about the Sons?"

Tara sighed. "Because Gracie Jane…they run guns. That's how they make most of their money. Please don't tell Juice I said anything. It's really his place to tell you, although it isn't exactly the most well kept secret in this town."

Grace blew out a long, slow breath. That was information that she would deal with at another time. "Ok, so what else?"

"He said that he wasn't here for me, just the investigation, but I'm not that stupid. He was being his usual creepy self. The next day I saw him by the neonatal unit looking through the glass at Abel…"

A chill went up Gracie's spine. "Jesus Christ, Tara."

Tara bit her lip and looked down at the table. "I know, but…that's not all. Yesterday at the hospital I got a big manila envelope addressed to me. It had a bunch of black and white photos of Jax having sex with some girl. They looked like they had been taken from a distance, you know, with a long lens camera of something, like the kind you'd use for surveillance."

Gracie was beyond pissed. She always hated that sick fuck and now he was back, trying to shatter the life that Tara had rebuilt for herself. "Knowles, you have to tell Jax."

Tara just shook her head. "No, Grace. I'm not dragging him into my shit. I'll make sure that Abel is closely supervised at the hospital. Joshua doesn't really care about Jax. He's just using him to scare me."

Grace rolled her eyes. "But Jax cares about you, Tara. If you told him…"

Tara interrupted her. "If I tell him, he'll kill him, Gracie. That's not a figure of speech or an exaggeration. He'll kill him, and I'm not going to risk getting him into any trouble over something that is completely my problem."

Grace ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Ok, so what are you going to do then?"

"I already talked to David Hale. I didn't tell him about Joshua specifically, just that I had a restraining order against someone in Chicago. He told me that it's still in effect even in California, so I guess for now there's nothing else to do until he violates it."

Grace immediately stood up and walked to the hallway closet. Reaching up to one of the old shoe boxes on the top shelf, she pulled it down and brought it back to the kitchen table. When Gracie removed the lid she revealed three different hand guns; a small .38 revolver that had belonged to her grandmother, her father's .45 Smith and Wesson, and the 9mm Beretta that her father had bought for her when she moved to Chicago.

She handed Tara the .38 and a box of ammo. "Here, take these. Load it and carry it with you at all times."

Tara looked like she was about to protest, but Gracie cut her off. "I know you can shoot, Knowles. You went to the range with my Dad and I quite a few times. A revolver isn't rocket science. There's no safety, just aim and squeeze." Tara's eyes were welling up with tears and Gracie knelt down on the floor by her chair to look at her down-turned face. Her voice was now soft and comforting. "Come on, Knowles, look at me. Do you remember that day when Kohn found out about the abortion? The day I found you bloody and bruised in our apartment? Because I'll never forget it as long as I live. It was one of the worse days of my life."

Gracie couldn't stop the tear that escaped her eyes. "You're all I've got, Tara. You're my family, the only family I have, and I love you so much. You have to protect yourself. Promise me."

Tara hesitated for just a moment before nodding. "Ok."

Gracie sighed in relief. "Ok."

"And what about you?"

Grace shrugged her shoulders. "What about me?"

Tara shook her head before reaching in the box for the 9mm and placing it in front of Grace. "Sweetie, you know that he has it in his sick, fucked up mind that you are the reason I left him, that somehow you talked me into getting away and having the abortion. He might come after you too."

Gracie nodded as she picked up the Beretta from the table. Reaching into the box to get the clip and a box of ammo, she sighed. Grace didn't have a violent bone in her body. She had never been in a fight, never hit anyone, she'd never even slapped someone. She just hated the idea of hurting other people. But growing up on military bases surrounded by soldiers, it was inevitable that she would learn how to shoot. And as much fun as she always had at the range with her father, the thought of actually firing at another living being made her physically sick. But she knew what Joshua Kohn was capable of, had seen it firsthand all over the broken body of her best friend. She didn't want to hurt anyone, but if it came down to protecting Tara from that psychotic asshole, she wouldn't hesitate.

Gazing at the sad, lost look in Tara's eyes made Grace determined to not let this ruin their day. She grabbed Tara's hand and pulled her towards the door. "Come on, Knowles. We're armed and ready to go. Let's go get our nails done."

Tara let out a small laugh and wrapped her arms around the sweetest woman in the world. "I love you, Gracie Jane."

"Love you too, Doc."

* * *

In spite of how the morning had begun, Gracie and Tara managed to have an amazing day together. When they got home that evening they were groomed, massaged, and stuffed full of sushi rolls. They changed into pajamas, opened a bottle of wine, and watched Tara's favorite movie, _Pretty Woman._ She texted Juice to say that she was having some much needed best friend time and wouldn't be able to call him that night, although that was only half the truth. She couldn't imagine lying to him, but she honestly didn't know what to tell Juice about the Kohn situation. Like Tara with Jax, Gracie guessed that Juice would want to protect her and she didn't want to risk him doing something that might get him in trouble. Kohn was insane, but he was still a federal agent.

The next morning, Grace got up early and decided to go to San Francisco by herself to spend the day shopping and sightseeing. If nothing else it would keep her from staring at the clock all day, counting the hours down until Juice was back. Tara had mentioned that some sort of fund raiser was going on in town, Taste of Charming, and that she was going to stop by there early in the day before getting some sleep for her night shift at St. Thomas. They both promised to be careful, keep their guns with them when they could, and check in periodically throughout the day to let the other know that they were alright.

* * *

It was around 5pm by the time Gracie made her way back to Charming. She did the typical tourist thing in San Francisco; rode a trolley, hiked around the Golden Gate Bridge, and shopped around Haight Ashbury. But she didn't want to be away from Charming too long in case Tara needed her, so she headed back that afternoon.

She had just passed a sign that said she was still five miles outside of Charming when she heard a loud noise coming from her Honda. Just as she was pulling off to the side of the road, the noise became a roar and a huge plume of smoke billowed out from under her hood. Then, everything was silent.

"Oh, no, no, no. Come on, don't do this to me!"

Gracie groaned when she tried to start the car several times with absolutely no luck. The engine was officially dead. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and sighed. "I guess I pushed you too hard today, buddy."

She got out of her car and leaned against the door. _Shit, I knew this was going to happen one of these days. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?_ She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and thought about who to call. Juice was still out of town, Tara was probably still sleeping, and she didn't have Jax's number. She really didn't feel comfortable calling anyone from St. Thomas for a ride, so she did the only logical thing…she called the only garage in town.

* * *

Chibs was driving the tow truck with Half-Sack riding in the passenger seat. He slowed down when he saw a beat-up old Honda sedan on the side of the road. As they got closer, a woman leaning against the driver's side door came into view. Chibs couldn't help but notice her red hair shimmering in the afternoon sun, pretty green eyes, and full glossy lips. She was wearing a simple white v-neck t shirt that did nothing to hide a huge rack and tight jeans that clung to slim legs and a curvy, perfect ass. From the top of her auburn hair to the soles of her white sneakers, the woman was a knock-out.

Sack straightened up in his seat when he finally noticed the girl on the side of the road. "Dude, dibs on the girl, man."

Chibs parked the tow truck and turned towards Half-Sack. Slapping him on the back of the head, he laughed at the prospect. "Number one, that's not a girl. That there is a full-blown woman and you wouldn't even know what to do with her. And number two, you're a prospect, dumbass. You don't get too call dibs."

Sack groaned as they climbed out of the car and approached the damsel in distress.

Gracie smiled in relief as she saw the two men approach her car. She reached her hand out to a tall, handsome man with warm brown eyes and scars on his face. "Hi, um, I'm Grace. Thank you so much for coming out so quickly."

Chibs shook her hand and grinned. "No problem, love. What seems to be the problem?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure. I've kind of killed this car over the years. I drove to San Francisco today and I think all the miles may have finally done it in."

Half-Sack popped the hood and coughed as he inhaled a fresh cloud of smoke. "Yeah, that's one dead engine."

Chibs placed his hand on the small of the woman's back and guided her towards the cab of the tow truck. "Come on, lass. We'll tow it back to TM and see what can be done. You can ride back to the garage with us. I'm Chibs and that scrawny little idiot over there is Half-Sack."

Gracie's eyes brightened when she heard the older man say his name. "Oh, you're Chibs! It's so nice to meet you. Juice has told me a lot about you."

It took a moment for Chibs to put two and two together, but when he finally did his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Ah, so you're the lovely Grace that Juicey talks about."

He watched as a lovely shade of pink bloomed on her cheeks. _Christ, when was the last time I saw a woman actually blush?_

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. She hadn't realized that Juice had told any of his friends about her except for Jax, and her heart warmed at the knowledge. "Yeah, uh, that's me. Juice never told me that you were Scottish."

Chibs' smile broadened. "Aye, you heard that lass? Most people around here think I'm Irish."

Gracie shook her head before opening the door to the truck and climbing up, giving Chibs a fantastic view of her ass. "Nope, you're definitely Scottish. I've been to Scotland before and the accent is really distinct. Something about the way you Scotsmen roll your tongues."

Looking at the sweet woman sitting up in the cab, Chibs knew she had no idea what she had just said or why it made a sexy grin cross his face. _Oh love, if you only knew what this Scotsman can do with his tongue._ He closed the door and walked back to the Honda to help Sack hook it up to the tow truck, one thought running through his mind. _How the fuck did the little Puerto Rican land a woman like her?_

* * *

The ride back to TM was a pleasant one. Gracie was sandwiched between the two men and their conversation flowed easily, with Chibs doing most of the talking. Chibs asked when she had gone to Scotland, and she told him that she and her father had spent four days around Edinburgh on vacation when she was in High school. She told the guys about her job at St. Thomas and Chibs shared the fact that he was an army medic for a short time back in the UK. She turned towards the guy on her right, sitting quietly in the passenger seat.

"So, uh, did you say you're name was Half-Sack?"

He gave her a small, shy smile. "It's Kip, actually. The guys call me Half-sack because I got a nut blown off by an IED in Iraq."

He expected her to laugh, like most people did when they heard the story, but instead she smiled sweetly and looked into his eyes. "Well thank you, Kip, for your service. I grew up army and I lost my dad in Afghanistan a few years ago. I have nothing but respect for people like you who make that kind of sacrifice. Really, thank you."

Sack's chest puffed out with proud although his voice was still quiet. "Thanks, ma'am."

She shook her head a smiled. "Please Kip, call me Grace."

Chibs looked over at the prospect and rolled his eyes when he saw the way he was staring at the red haired beauty, with stars in his eyes. _Oh, Christ. Looks like the prospect has a crush_.

* * *

When the tow truck pulled into the TM lot, Chibs and Gracie climbed out while Kip guided the truck to the garage bays. One of the mechanics came walking out, smiling at Grace and offering her a small wave.

His voice was shy and a little shaky. "Um, hi Grace. I'm not sure if you remember me…"

Gracie walked over to the man and gave him a quick, friendly hug. "Of course I remember you Lowell. It's nice to see you. How's Moby doing?"

Chibs looked on in confusion. "You two know each other?"

Gracie smiled back at the Scotsman. "Lowell came in to St. Thomas last week. His son had a fever, but he was a very brave little boy."

Lowell grinned. "You were really nice to him, to both of us."

Gracie just gave him an understanding smile. Neither of them mentioned that while Moby was getting some tests, Lowell had opened up to the nurse about his struggle with addiction. She had patiently listened to every word, even saying that he should be proud of himself for getting clean and trying to be a good father to his son. She told him about some local resources to help him in his recovery and offered personally to help in any way that she could.

Gracie nodded. "Well, to pay me back, you can work your magic and fix my hunk of junk over there."

Lowell looked over to the rusted out mess on four wheels and rubbed the back of his head with his hand. "No promises, but I'll do my best."

Chibs threw an arm around Gracie's shoulder pulling her away from the garage and towards the clubhouse. "Come with me, love. There are some guys in there who are going to want to meet Juicey-boy's new girl."


	17. Chapter 17

**What happens when I'm home sick two days in a row with nothing to do? My lovely readers get two updates back to back! This chapter made me happy :-) Hope you like it! Enjoy!**

Chapter 17

Grace took one step into the clubhouse and paused to look around. Everything about it, from the smell of stale cigarettes, the worn leather sofas, the pool table and the stripper pole, screamed "guy hangout." Gracie smiled to herself. _If SpikeTV, the playboy channel, and a beer commercial could throw up all over a room, this is what it would look like._ She instantly felt comfortable. She had always been a dive bar girl. She'd take a cheap beer in a seedy clubhouse over a martini in a cocktail lounge any day of the week.

Chibs guided her to one of the barstools and sat her down next to a burly looking older man with a denim vest and an oxygen tank. "Sit down, love. Now, this mean old bastard is Piney. Piney, this is Grace. She's Juicey's girl."

Piney looked Gracie over from head to toe and then threw a confused look back at Chibs. "This one? With Juice?"

Chibs just smirked as he sat down beside Grace. "I know. I didn't believe it either." He looked over at Grace, who was blushing furiously, and gave her a genuine smile. Nodding his head to the big man with the long, curly hair behind the bar, he said, "And this here is Bobby, or Bobby Elvis, depending on if he's sporting his lovely polyester jumpsuit that day."

Gracie smile widened. "Oh, so you're the famous Bobby. I hear you know your way around a kitchen."

Bobby returned her smile. "That I do, sweetheart. In fact, this morning I made some damn fine organic blueberry muffins, all natural with none of that processed shit. I'd offer you one but these vultures ate them all already."

Gracie shrugged. "I guess that means you'll have to make a special batch just for me sometime then."

Bobby just grinned. "I think that can be arranged."

Chibs drummed his hands on the bar and looked over at Gracie. "So, love, let's do a shot together to officially welcome you into the family. What'll you have then?"

Gracie smiled. "Oh, um, ok thanks. I'll have a Jameson if you have it."

Chibs looked at Gracie in wonder before throwing his head back, clutching at his chest, and groaning. "Oh, come on, you're breaking my heart over here. A beautiful redhead that shoots Jameson? Are you sure you want to be wasting your time on Juicey, love? Nothing wrong with a little Scottish on the side."

Chibs playfully wiggled her eyebrows at Grace and she laughed while rolling her eyes. He noticed that despite her laughter, her cheeks got even redder and she looked slightly uncomfortable with all the attention. _She's shy…and so, Christ what's the word…endearing. Where the hell did Juice find this one_?

Gracie's laughter faded and she just shook her head. "Sorry, Chibs. I guess I'm a one man kind of woman."

He just winked at her. "Good girl."

The two of them did their shots of Jameson while Bobby drank Jack Daniels and Piney downed another shot of Patron. The four fell into easy conversation, mostly talking about the military since both Piney and Chibs had served and Gracie had grown up in the life. She told Bobby that her favorite Elvis song was _That's All Right _and she applauded when he sang her a few bars in full Elvis voice. Half-Sack joined in after a while and the five of them spent the next few hours drinking, talking, and laughing.

Gracie was surprised by how much she liked them. From the stories that Tara had told her, she expected to be terrified by the other members of the MC. But the four men sitting around her telling old stories and dirty jokes weren't terrifying at all. They were hilarious. Piney reminded her of one of her dad's old veteran buddies who would sit and tell her war stories in the VFW on Saturday nights. Kip was so sweet, like the goofy little brother she'd always wished she had. Bobby would have been her dream Uncle. And Chibs…_god, how do I describe Chibs?_ He was open and at the same time mysterious, handsome and flirtatious but friendly and sweet. His eyes were warm and kind, and yet something deep inside them was menacing. He was the perfect Scottish rogue. In short, he was fantastic.

Piney lit up another cigarette and Gracie couldn't stop her slightly drunken eyes from rolling. "You know, Piney, I'm not one to judge other people's vices, but I think I'd lose my nursing license if didn't mention that lighting up that cigarette with that oxygen in your nose is a teensy, weensy bit of a fire hazard."

The old man just winked. "What can I say, doll? I like to live dangerously."

Gracie was just about to make another comment when she heard the clubhouse doors open. Turning around, she saw Jax walk in along with a tall, bearded guy in a black beanie.

Jax looked surprised but smiled as he walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey, Gracie. What are you doing here, darlin'?"

She returned the half-hug that he gave her and smiled. "My car broke down outside of town this afternoon and Chibs and Kip towed me in. They offered me a drink and I guess I just ended up hanging out for a while."

Gracie laughed as Kip drunkenly threw his arm over her shoulder. The prospect was slurring and leaning up against the bar for balance. "This is Grace, Jax. I like her. She's awesome. Isn't she awesome?"

Jax face turned lethal. "What the fuck do you think you're doing prospect? She belongs to a full patch! What do think will happen to your top rocker when Juice comes back and we tell him that you had your hands all over his woman?"

Half-Sack turned white as a ghost as he moved away from Gracie so quickly that he stumbled, tripped over a barstool, and landed on his ass on the floor. Backing out of the room towards the door, the poor kid just kept stammering, "I'm sorry, man, Jesus, I'm sorry, it wasn't like that, I wasn't…I swear man…"

As soon as Kip exited the clubhouse, Jax turned around and started laughing so hard his eyes were watering. "Oh god, I love fucking with that kid."

Gracie rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but grin. "Don't you think that was a little mean, Jax? I think you gave the poor kid a heart attack."

Jax just shrugged his shoulders. "It's all part of the fun, babe." He turned towards the tall guy that he had walked in with. "Gracie, this is Opie. He's Piney's son and my best friend."

Opie nodded over to her. "Nice to meet you. You're Tara's friend, right?"

Gracie nodded. Looking at Opie, she couldn't help but think that the phrase "gentle giant" had never been more appropriate. He was quieter than the other guys she'd met so far, and despite his size made you feel somehow instantly safe and comfortable.

Jax looked over at Gracie. "Listen, darlin'. It's cool that you hung out tonight, but we have some business…"

Just then Jax was interrupted by a new group of guys entering the clubhouse. Gracie's eyes widened slightly as they came closer to the bar. _Oh, so that's where they were hiding all the scary bikers._ There were four men that came in, but only three were wearing kuttes; one with gray hair and a mustache that reeked so strongly of cigars it made her cringe, one with wild brown hair and amazing blue eyes that were at once absolutely beautiful and eerily cold, the last one was tall with a bald head, nearly black eyes, and intricate tattoos covering his arms, neck, and head. The guy without a kutte had spiky blond hair, expensive looking clothes, and smelled like he drowned in a bottle of cologne. He definitely didn't belong with the others.

Piney stood up from the table and was instantly fuming. "What the fuck is he doing in the clubhouse?"

Opie went over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, Pop. I okayed it. Kyle has some business he wants to share with the club." Piney looked into his son's eyes and Opie nodded. Gracie watched as Opie turned back and spoke to the guy with the mustache. "Hey Clay, I gotta get back to the festival to set off the fireworks or Gemma's gonna have my ass. Can you guys hear him out and then fill me in later?"

Clay nodded. "No problem, Ope. Wouldn't want to piss off my Queen."

Chibs stood up just as Opie was about to leave. "Hey, Ope. Would you mind giving Grace here a lift home on your way? Her car's broken down in the garage."

Opie looked at Gracie and gave her a small smile. "Sure thing. Come on, Grace."

Gracie got up quickly and said goodbye to everyone, giving a small wave to the group of men that had not yet introduced themselves. No one said anything, but she knew from the way the guys were behaving that she wasn't suppose to see whatever was going to happen next.

She followed Opie outside and over to an older model pickup truck. She climbed in the passenger seat and put on her seat belt as Opie started the truck and pulled out of the lot.

"You're living in Tara's old man's house, right?"

Gracie nodded. "Yep. You know where it is?"

Opie gave her a small smile. "Oh yeah. Jax and I used to pick Tara up from there in the middle of the night whenever she decided to sneak out and hang with us at the clubhouse."

Gracie laughed. "God, I bet you guys have some stories."

He looked over at her and smirked. "You have no idea."

Just a few minutes later, they pulled into Gracie's driveway. She climbed down out of her seat and turned towards Opie before shutting the door. "Thanks for the ride home. It was really nice to meet you."

He just nodded. "You too, Grace. Tell Tara I said hello."

"I will, definitely. Goodnight. Thanks again."

Gracie walked into her house, locking the doors behind her. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before stripping out of her clothes and climbing into bed. As she lay there replaying the day in her head, she couldn't stop thinking about what Chibs had said to her earlier…he welcomed her into the family. She smiled. These men were Juice's brothers, and he loved them. And if they were important to Juice, then they were important to her. She would try her damndest to learn to love them too.

* * *

Juice couldn't stop his leg from bouncing up and down or his thumbs from nervously tapping on the steering wheel. In a few short minutes, he would finally be back at the clubhouse. He could get on his bike, drive over to Gracie's, and finally tell the woman that meant everything to him that he was fucking in love with her. He had missed her so god damn much. He had only been in Indian Hills for a week, but it felt like fucking forever. For the entire drive from Nevada back to California, he thought about nothing but Grace; her smile, her laugh, her eyes, her beautiful fucking body, and the sounds she made when she came. He was only vaguely aware of Cherry talking incessantly about Half-Sack for hours from the passenger's seat. He knew he probably should have kicked her out of the truck when she insisted on riding back to Charming, but he just didn't have the energy to fight with her. Every minute he wasted on Cherry was another that he was away from Grace.

He pulled into the TM lot and saw Clay and Jax approaching the truck. Cherry jumped down before he could stop her and he cringed when he saw the pissed off expression on Clay's face.

As soon as Juice climbed out of the cab, Clay had him in a headlock.

"What the fuck is she doing here, Juicey?"

He didn't even try to get free. He knew he deserved it. "I'm sorry, man. She said she was only here for Sack. What was I supposed to do, throw her out of the truck?"

Clay went over to talk to Cherry as Jax approached him and smacked him on the back of the head. "Seriously, Juice! What the fuck were you thinking?"

Juice just rubbed the back of his neck that was still stinging from Clay. "Sorry man. I just wanted to get back, you know?"

Jax just gave him an exasperated look. "We got church in a few minutes. We'll deal with your fuck-up later."

* * *

Any hope Juice had for seeing Gracie that morning quickly disappeared. The situation had gone from bad to worse and had quickly become a full blown clusterfuck. Church was tense to say the least. The club was short on the money it owed the Irish and they were taking a loss on the AKs that they were selling to the Niners. Everyone was stressed out and in a bad fucking mood, no one more pissed off than the man at the head of the table.

As soon as Clay struck the gavel and church was adjourned, Juice finally thought he was going to get to leave. But just as he was about to get on his bike, a sea of black cars flooded the TM lot and before he could even wrap his head around what was happening, Clay was being handcuffed and taken in for questioning. _Fucking feds._

The sea of shit that they were swimming in kept getting deeper. Apparently while Juice was in Indian Hills, Piney had sold a few guns to some asshole militia wannabes that decided to use them to shoot up a bunch of innocents. Juice had worked for hours online to try and find some information on Nate Meineke and his band of separatist dipshits, but it seemed like they all lived completely off the grid.

At some point in the afternoon, Meineke got in contact with Piney. The crazy asshole wanted to buy the rest of the AKs at a discounted price, since he knew that his own actions made the weapons all but unmovable. Jax agreed, knowing that it was the perfect way to take care of two problems, dealing with Meineke and getting the guns off the lot before the feds raided the clubhouse. Juice just had one question. _How the fuck are we supposed to move the AKs off the lot with the feds parked right outside?_

* * *

Juice couldn't count the ways he wished that he had never learned the answer to that question. Jax's idea for getting the guns off the lot may have been genius, but it was fucking disgusting. It had taken Juice nearly an hour after retrieving the guns from the sewage truck to stop dry heaving. As soon as they were all bagged and loaded, Chibs took the guns to the cabin to be cleaned and reassembled. Half-Sack went back to the clubhouse to clean up the damage done by the ATF raid. And Juice went back to his apartment to take a much needed shower and change his clothes. It was already late, but he didn't care. He climbed on his Dyna and drove as fast as he could to Gracie's house. He needed to see his girl.

* * *

Gracie was freshly showered and sitting in her bed wearing a pair of tight black yoga capris and a black tank top. She had received a short text from Juice that morning stating that he was back in Charming but would be tied up with club business for the rest of the day. She was disappointed that she probably wouldn't see him until tomorrow, but relieved that at least he was back home and close by. Tara had called her earlier freaking out. Apparently Kohn had once again snuck into the neonatal unit to watch Abel. He told her that the ATF was going to raid the clubhouse, which she confirmed by driving by TM and seeing federal agents swarming the property. She said it didn't seem like a big deal, that she didn't see any of the guys being taken into custody, but it still made Gracie worry. Tara had already headed back to the hospital for the night since she was on call again, and Gracie was left at home alone with nothing to do but worry.

It was around 11:30pm when Gracie looked at the clock. She had been rereading the same page of her favorite Neil Gaiman novel for five minutes, trying unsuccessfully to distract herself from worrying about Juice. She was just about to fling the book across the room in frustration when she heard the familiar rumble of a motorcycle outside.

Gracie jumped from the bed and ran to the living room. She opened the door just as Juice was about to ring the door bell. She didn't even get to process how fucking amazing it was to see his face again before his lips crashed down onto hers.

Juice backed her into the house and closed the door, never breaking contact. His kiss was frenzied, devouring her mouth with every thrust of his tongue. Gracie fought to keep up, matching his stroke for stroke. His hands were everywhere, running down her sides, over her ass, finally landing on her hips in a tight grasp. Gracie held on to the back of his neck with everything she had, relishing the feeling of every inch of her body being pressed up against the man she adored.

When Juice finally broke away, Gracie tried to speak. "Juice, I…"

But he shook his head, silently begging her to stop while he took a moment to compose himself and form the words that he had been aching to say for days.

Juice placed his hands on either side of her face and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. He let his eyes move over every inch of her face, taking it all in. Her eyes that were always so bright and kind were darkened and filled with want. Her perfect pale skin was flushed and her copper hair was a mess from the way he had buried his hands in it just moments ago. She was perfect. And she was his.

He took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. He couldn't wait anymore. "I love you, Gracie. I love you so fucking much. I've never said that to a woman before, I've never even felt this way about anyone before. But fuck Gracie, you're everything to me. You're beautiful, and funny, and perfect, and you make me feel like I matter, baby. I don't know how you do it, but you're…you're fixing me, sweetheart. Whatever is wrong with me, you see it and you don't hate me, and you're fixing me from the inside out. I just…I couldn't waste another fucking minute without you knowing. You're my world, Gracie, and I love you."

Juice was holding his breath as he looked at Gracie's stunned expression. A few silent moments went by and he felt like he was going to lose his mind. "Please say something, sweetheart. I'm dying over here."

A slow smile crossed Gracie's face as the shocked expression on her face faded into one of pure joy. He saw the tears well up in her eyes as she lifted her own hands to Juice's face and kissed him.

She pulled back and was unable to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. She stared into his eyes, smiling. "Juice…I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. You're good, and smart, and strong…everything I've ever wanted. I've never loved anyone else either. Before you came into my life, I always thought I was happy, always thought I was fine. But it took meeting you to realize that all this time, my whole life, I've only been half alive. You've somehow managed to repair the parts of me that were broken and made me whole again. You're fixing me too, Juice, and I am so in love with you."

She leaned in, closing the small distance between them, and their lips found each other again. It was a slow, sensual kiss filled with the love that they had both expressed to each other. He was amazed at how it was so gentle and yet easily the most passionate contact of his life. He couldn't stop tasting her, drugged by the usual sweetness of her mouth mixed with the slight saltiness of her tears. He kissed her like it was the first time, like it was his addiction, like he was dying and her touch was the only thing keeping him alive.

A few minutes later, he opened his eyes when he felt Gracie slowly pull away. She never broke eye contact as she slowly started walked backwards down the hallway.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. "Where are you going, sweetheart?"

Her eyes were filled with an intensity that he had never seen before. Her voice was low and seductive and sounded like a siren's call. "It's just like you said, Juice. I'm going to my bedroom…no one else is here…and you can take your time."

She flashed him the sexiest smile he'd ever seen before turning around and walking to her bedroom. He stood frozen for about a second before he all but ran to follow her. He didn't have to be told twice…he was finally going to be with his girl.

**Review please!**


	18. Chapter 18

**First, I can't believe I wrote 3 updates 3 days in a row. I will probably never have this much free time again.**

**Second, I reread my entire fic last night and noticed that each chapter has at least one typo. Just wanted to say sorry. I know that's annoying. I don't have a Beta and I'm always too excited to post a new chapter to properly proofread. So yeah, I'll try to work on that.**

**Lastly, (hides her face in her hands) here is my very first sex scene. Literally, this entire chapter is nothing but 3,000 words of smut, but you know, lovey-smut, because it's Juice and Gracie :) **** Go easy on me. I'm new at this. Hope you like it. And if you're not into smut you can skip this chapter. Just know that they finally seal the deal.**

Chapter 18

The dim light from Gracie's bedside lamp cast a warm glow around the room. Juice ran into Gracie's bedroom and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her across the room, standing beside the bed, staring at him. He shut the door quietly and returned her gaze. Juice stood there frozen, suddenly afraid to move in case he would wake up and realize that his entire time with Gracie had all just been one amazing fucking dream.

He watched transfixed as she placed her hands on the waist of her tight black pants and slowly bent over. She guided them down her toned, milky white legs and stepped out of them, revealing a pair of light blue lace panties. He reminded himself to breathe as she moved her hands to the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head, displaying perfect breasts spilled out over the top of a matching lace bra.

She looked at him expectantly for a few moments before biting her lower lip and grinning. "You're overdressed, Ortiz."

He flashed her a small, sexy smile and nodded. She couldn't take her eyes off him as he removed his kutte and placed it over the back of her desk chair. He then pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it on the floor. But just as he was about to unbuckle his belt, he looked up at Gracie and stilled. Her smile had faded to an expression he couldn't name, but she was looking at him like she'd never seen him before.

His voice was soft and confused. "What's wrong, Gracie?"

Her eyes traveled over every inch of the body now revealed to her. From his strong arms decorated with tattoos, toned chest and abs, and caramel colored skin, he was nothing short of perfect.

Looking back into his eyes, she stared at him in wonder. "It's just…Jesus, Juice…you're so beautiful."

She couldn't stop old insecurities from running through her mind. Suddenly feeling way too exposed, Gracie looked down at the floor and crossed her arms over her chest in a failed attempt to shield herself somehow.

Juice shook his head in disbelief and quickly closed the short distance between them. He reached up and gently pulled her arms back down to her sides. He lifted her chin so that he could see her face, but she still averted her eyes.

"Grace." His voice was little more than a whisper. "Gracie, please look at me."

When she finally raised her beautiful green eyes, filled with uncertainty, he shook his head. "Are you kidding me, sweetheart? You have to be. You're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life. Please don't ever hide from me."

He waited a moment for her to nod before leaning down, first nibbling along the line of her jaw and then slowly trailing a path of small kisses down the side of her neck. His hands found the curves of her hips as Gracie tilted her head to the side giving him better access. He heard her breath hitch when he gently bit down on her pulse point. As he continued to lick and gently suck, he felt her hands move to his chest.

Any thoughts Gracie had in her mind were quickly erased as soon as she felt Juice's warm breath travel down her neck. She placed her hands against him, feeling his hard, strong muscles tense beneath her fingers. She moved them slowly until they were wrapped around the base of his neck. She used her fingernails to gently claw a path down the back of his head, causing him to groan. His breath quickened as she moved her hands back down his chest, running her fingertips over his nipples, down his perfectly defined abs, to the top of his belt.

He was trying his best to take this all painfully slow, but what little control he had over himself was lost the moment Gracie dipped her fingertips underneath the waistband of his boxers and unknowingly brushed the tip of his cock. He buried both of his hands in her hair and attacked her lips. As soon as he heard her moan, he thrust his tongue in her mouth and tangled it against her own. Never stopping his assault, he lowered his hands to her back and unclasped her bra.

He couldn't stop the groan that escaped when he lowered the straps from her shoulders and finally took in her large, rounded tits and hard, pink nipples. "So fucking gorgeous, Gracie." He ran his hands down her breasts and cupped them, loving that they more than filled his hands.

She whimpered when he started moving his thumbs in steady circles over her nipples. "God Juice, that feels so good."

He moved his fingers so that he could roll her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers, and as his gentle touches became pinches and harder pulls, Gracie's soft whimpers turned into moans.

She grasped onto his shoulders to steady herself. "Oh, fuck baby."

Juice watched as she bit down on her already reddened, swollen lips to stifle her moans while the blush across her skin deepened with arousal. He was hard as a fucking rock and seeing what he could do to her just by playing with her tits made him ache to know what else on her body was just as sensitive.

He moved his hands from her breasts back to her hips and grinned at the frustrated pout on her face. He backed her up against the bed until her knees bent and guided her down so that her back rested against the mattress and her lower legs hung over the side. She raised her arms above her head, crossing them over each other. He stared down at her laid out in front of him, her auburn hair fanned out in waves and every rapid intake of air causing her breasts to rise and fall in rhythm. Juice tried to commit every fucking inch to memory, because he knew he would jerk off to this image for the rest of his god damn life.

"You're so fucking sexy, sweetheart."

He couldn't stop himself from reaching down and palming the erection that was straining painfully against his jeans.

Gracie's eyes darkened with lust as she watched Juice rub his hand over his obviously hardened cock. She moved her hands down to her chest and wrapped them around her breasts, squeezing.

Her voice was pleading. "Please touch me, Juice."

He leaned over her body, placing his hands on the flat plane of her stomach and running them upwards until he reached her hands. He gently pulled them away from her tits and placed them back over her head, pinning them both down with one of his own. "I'm not done playing, sweetheart."

Gracie arched her back off the bed and whimpered when Juice squeezed one of her breasts and then suck her nipple hard into his mouth. "Oh shit, baby!" She felt his tongue flick the hardened bud before his teeth grazed it and he bit down. "Oh my god, Juice, please!"

He moved on to her other breast, giving it the same amazing treatment. The hand that was holding her arms down now moved to her other nipple and he once again started gently tugging it between his fingers.

Gracie pressed her thighs together as hard as she could in a desperate attempt to calm the ache surging through her center. She could feel her own wetness growing and she was throbbing with the need to be touched.

Running her hands down Juice's back, feeling his tight, sinewy muscles, she begged him. "Juice, baby, please. It's too much. Touch me, please."

He moved his head down from her breast and rested his forehead against her stomach. She could feel his lips moving against her body. "Where baby? Where do you want me to touch you?"

She dug her nails into the back of his head and when he ran his tongue down a few inches and kissed her belly button.

Her voice was breathless. "My pussy Juice, please!"

Hearing the woman he fucking worshiped beg for his touch almost made him weak. He fell to his knees on the floor in front of her legs.

Gracie rose up on her elbows and felt a whole new pull at her groin at the sight of Juice kneeling down in front of her. She held her breath as she felt his large, strong hands slowly travel from her ankles to her knees. He used just enough force to open her legs as wide as they would go so that she was completely spread open in front of him.

Juice rested his head down on the mattress and took a few calming breaths, trying without success to calm his racing heart. "Fuck, sweetheart, your panties are soaked."

Gracie tried to speak, but all that came out was a gasp as she watched Juice lean in and bury his head between her legs, inhaling deeply.

He raised his beautiful brown eyes, now almost black with desire. "I've been dreaming about what you would smell like, baby…and I didn't imagine anything even close to how good this is."

Juice's eyes moved from Gracie's face back down to the wetness seeping through her panties, and for a few moments he just stared like he was mystified.

"You really want me, don't you Gracie?"

She couldn't help but grin down at the man between her legs. Of course she wanted him. "More than I've ever wanted anything, Juan Carlos."

The sexiest, cockiest grin she'd ever seen crossed his face. His hands finally moved from her knees, up her creamy thighs, and over her hips to the top of her panties. She lifted slightly off the bed so that he could pull them past her ass and down the length of her legs.

He was just about to toss them aside when he paused. Looking at Gracie with that same sexy grin, he took the wet lace panties and shoved them into the front pocket of his jeans. "I'm keeping these."

_Holy fuck, why does that turn me on so much? _Gracie could do nothing but nod. She was teetering on the edge of an explosion and was desperate for Juice to make his next move. She watched with fascination as the smirk on his face faded into something more sincere.

This time it was Juice's turn to bite down on his lip as he finally got a glimpse of her pussy. _God, she's so fucking perfect._ She was completely bare, perfectly pink, and dripping with the proof of her need for him. He tried to raise his eyes but couldn't quite move them from the slick, wet heaven in front of him. "Gracie, you're so pretty, even here."

Gracie dug her ass into the bed, yearning for any type of friction to help her subdue the fire between her legs. "Juice, please baby, I can't wait anymore. Please, I need…oh god!"

He couldn't wait anymore either. He dove in with reckless abandon, driving his tongue between her folds and finding her swollen, throbbing clit. He swirled his tongue in a circular motion over and over, addicted to the way the movement made her body writhe and shake. He moaned into her sex as Gracie arched her back and tried to grind herself harder onto his mouth.

He was drunk off her salty sweetness that was like nothing he'd ever tasted before. He savored the wetness in her folds with the flat of his tongue before moving down slightly and sinking his tongue into her pussy, trying to drink down every drop she had to offer.

He spread her further apart with his thumbs and blew on her clit before leaning back in and sucking it into his mouth.

"Oh my fucking God, Juice. Baby it's so good…I'm so close…"

A moment later, Juice took her clit gently between his teeth and flicked it softly with his tongue, and she was spiraling. Her body arched off the bed and her screams became louder. "Oh god baby, you're making me come!"

She felt like she was flying. She threw her head back and squeezed her eyes closed tightly, lost in the best orgasm of her life. Grace was just starting to come down from her high when she looked down and saw Juice run two fingers down through her slick folds.

She could barely breathe. "Juice, I can't. It's too much…"

He looked at her sweetly, his eyes full of awe and wonder. "Shhh, baby…just one more time. I need to see it one more time."

Before she could protest, he plunged two fingers into her tight, wet heat and curled them upwards against her walls. Within seconds she was hit with her second orgasm, this one seeming to go on forever. Her words were incoherent as she was lost in the tidal wave of pleasure that Juice had given her.

Watching Grace come was the most beautiful fucking thing Juice had ever seen, and to know that he was able to make his goddess of a woman fall apart like that made him feel like a fucking King.

She gradually opened her eyes and once again leaned on her elbows to lift her upper body off of the bed. It was hard to focus her eyes on the man in front of her, her eyes cloudy with satisfaction, her entire body spent. Her skin was flushed with patches of red and her hair was tangled from her head moving uncontrollably during the throws of her pleasure. She was still trying to catch her breath as she watched with fascination as Juice slowly removed his glistening fingers from her pussy, placed them into his mouth, and sucked them clean.

He finally rose from the floor and was now standing between Gracie's legs. She mustered up just enough strength to raise herself into a sitting position. Her hands immediately went to his belt buckle. She quickly undid the clasp and pulled down his zipper, but paused just before pulling his jeans down. She moved her hands to the side of his waist and held him.

Looking up into his eyes, she tilted her head to the side and smiled sweetly. "I love you."

He stared down at her, placing his hand on the side of her neck and caressing her jaw with his thumb. "I love you so much, sweetheart."

Gracie moved back onto her bed and laid down, the heat of her skin chilled by the cool smoothness of her sheets. She watched Juice remove a condom from his back pocket before sliding his jeans and boxers down, removing his boots and socks along the way. She couldn't help but stare at his impressive length, the thick vein throbbing all the way up his shaft, and the generous amount of precum already spilling out over his slit.

He climbed onto the bed and crawled over Gracie. She was splayed across her bed, her legs still slightly bent and hanging open, leaving nothing hidden from his view. He leaned back on his heels to slide the condom on and then once again crawled over her beautiful body. His face was just inches from her own, his body ghosting over hers with his weight supported on his elbows.

Juice used his fingertips to brush a stray hair out of Gracie's eyes as he softly whispered, "Are you ready, sweetheart?"

Gracie just nodded. She looked down to watch Juice grasp his hardened cock, run the thick head through her still wet folds, and then without warning, plunge himself completely into her body with one swift thrust.

They both groaned loudly at the feeling of complete and utter perfection. Gracie had never felt so full, so fucking whole. After a few moments of accommodating to his impressive size, she slowly started to roll her hips, but was stopped immediately by a strong hand clamping down hard on her, stilling her movements.

She looked up at Juice's face. His eyes were closed tightly and his jaw was clenched so hard that she could see the small muscle tensing at the corner of his jaw.

She whispered, "Juice…"

His voice was deep and raspy. "Gracie, don't move, ok? It's too fucking good, baby. If you move now, I'm gonna come. Just give me a minute, sweetheart…"

He somehow always knew that Gracie would be the best he ever had, but he was totally unprepared for the unbelievable fucking euphoria he experienced when he buried himself inside her. She was so hot, so wet, so impossibly tight…and more than anything, she was Gracie. His fantasy, his dream, the love of his fucking life, and it was just too god damn much.

Gracie was sure, without a doubt, that watching Juice fight to control his reaction to her was the most erotic thing she'd ever seen. In that moment, the sweet, funny boy she would see in him sometimes was gone. In that moment he was nothing but a strong, sexy, full grown man, powerful enough to make his body bow to his will.

Several more seconds passed before Juice opened his eyes and nodded down to Gracie. He moved his hands to either side of her head and locked his arms to raise his body up slightly. He began moving in slow, deep thrusts that made Gracie's toes curl. Her hands moved to his biceps and grasped onto him as her hips started to rise, meeting Juice's thrusts in perfect rhythm. They fell into sync and moved with each other like a dance.

When Juice slowly started to build up speed, Gracie closed her eyes and sighed at the sensation. He was deeper than anyone had ever been before and he felt so fucking good.

His voice was breathless and strained. "Grace."

She opened her hazy eyes to look up at his face.

"I want to see you, Gracie. Don't close your eyes."

She did her best to comply with his request, but as she started to feel a familiar tightening in her abdomen, it became nearly impossible.

"Juice, baby. I can't…I can't hold back. I'm going to come again, baby…"

Juice nodded. He moved one of his hands beneath Gracie's ass and lifted it up to a new angle as he started thrusting faster and harder than ever before. She moved her hands up to wrap around his neck and locked her legs around his waist, holding close to him with everything she had.

Juice groaned at the feeling of the new frenzied pace. He knew he couldn't last much longer. "Oh, fuck, sweetheart…shit! Come for me baby…please… now!"

His words were her undoing. She fell over the edge yet again, finally closing her eyes and sinking her nails deep into Juice's back, screaming his name into his shoulder.

His hips bucked at the feeling of a fresh surge of wetness running down his balls and her walls quivering tightly around his cock. He lost his rhythm and drove into her three or four more times before finally spilling himself deep inside her. "Oh, fuck…Gracie…Gracie!" He groaned loudly and called out her name over and over again like a prayer before finally collapsing down on top of her.

It took a few moments for Juice to once again become aware of his surroundings, coming so hard and so long that he could swear he blacked out. When he raised his eyes and looked at the woman underneath of him, he smiled. She was covered in sweat, her eyes barely open, and her porcelain skin was stained crimson from blushing.

He slowly pulled out, carefully tying off the condom and dropping it into the trash can beside the bed. Turning off the bedside lamp, he lay down on his back beside his spent, exhausted girl and pulled her towards him so that her head was resting on his chest and it was tucked snugly under his chin.

Juice was sure that Gracie was already asleep, but just as he was about to drift off he heard the sweetest voice in the world softly echo through the darkness. "I love you, Juice, more than anything in the world."

Juice kissed the top of Gracie's head and blinked away the moisture from his eyes. "I love you too, Gracie Jane."

He then fell into a deep peaceful sleep, the best of his life, because he had his girl wrapped tightly in his arms…and he had no intention of ever letting her go.

**Please review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**I can't even begin to describe how awesome all the feedback was for the last chapter. I have a whole new respect for people who write good smut, because it was insanely difficult to do. But as usual, your responses made it all worth it.**

**Also, I had a guest reviewer ask me if Grace's appearance is based on a certain celebrity. It isn't, but if it helps, the closest I can think of would be Emma Stone circa **_**Crazy Stupid Love**_**, but with a curvier body like Megan Fox's in the first **_**Transformers**_**. **

**This may not be the most action packed chapter, but it's necessary to the story. The next update will definitely move things along. Ok, enough chit chat, here we go…**

Chapter 19

Juice woke up early with Gracie still wrapped in his arms. He held her just a little tighter as he leaned in closer and buried his face in her tangled copper hair, breathing in deeply and inhaling. He took a moment to memorize the feel of her naked body tucked firmly against his own and then smiled as he silently relived every single amazing moment from the night before. _It wasn't a dream. She's real. This is real…and she actually loves me._

They had woken twice more throughout the night, aching for each other, unable to get enough. It was, without question, the best night of his life. But it was so much more than just the fucking. He had no idea that sex could feel that way; that when you entered a woman you could stop feeling like two separate people and all the sudden become one, that you could feel so completely connected to another living thing in every way possible, that the emotion you felt for someone could cease to be something abstract and become something tangible, something that you could actually feel in every touch and every movement that they made. And then it hit him. _It wasn't fucking. It wasn't sex. It was making love. I made love to a woman for the first time in my life._ Juice felt his smile widen. _I made love to my girl last night._

In that moment he wanted nothing more than to wake Gracie and experience her all over again, but he knew how exhausted she must be. He carefully pulled his arm out from under her head and quietly crept out of bed. He needed to use the bathroom and was dying for a cigarette. He slipped on his jeans, not bothering with a shirt or shoes, since he planned on climbing back in with Gracie as soon as he finished his smoke. He made his way over to the door and snuck out without a sound.

* * *

Juice went to the bathroom to take a quick piss and then went to the front door to go outside for his cigarette, since Grace and Tara didn't allow smoking in their house. He opened the door and stood on the front step. Just as he lit his cigarette, he heard the sound of a Harley. He looked up and saw Jax pulling into the driveway with Tara on the back of his bike. He took a long drag and smirked when he saw the grin on his VP's face.

Tara took in Juice's bare feet and shirtless chest and smiled. "You have a good night last night, Juice?"

He gave her a small smile and nodded. "I had a fucking amazing night, Doc. Thanks for asking."

Jax stood beside Tara and flashed Juice a smirk of his own. "Well at least now I get why you were in such a fucking rush to get back from Nevada, man."

Juice chuckled and ran his hand a few times over his mohawk. "So, uh, what are you two doing riding this early?"

Jax spoke up first. "I couldn't sleep. Decided to go see the kid. When I got to St. Thomas, Tara was just leaving to go home from her nightshift and she asked me for a ride."

Juice looked over at Tara. "Oh yeah? Is something wrong with the Cutlass?"

Tara suddenly looked uncomfortable. "No...uh, it's fine. It's still parked at the hospital. It's just…"

Jax's voice was full of concern. "This worry I'm getting? Wouldn't have anything to do with the car that's been following us since St. Thomas, would it?"

Tara paled as a look of sheer panic crossed her face. "What?"

Jax nodded his head towards the street. "Compact parked half way down the block."

Tara and Juice both looked down the street and saw a silver Saturn sedan. She walked quickly towards the door, trying to push past Juice to get into the house, but Jax reached his hand out to stop her.

He gently grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. "Tara, what the hell is going on?"

She took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice from shaking. She looked into Juice's confused face and then back to Jax. "That ATF agent? The one that's been looking into you guys? He's here for me."

Jax just shook his head. "What the hell are you…"

Tara interrupted him. "I was with him in Chicago. It got violent. I tried to end it. He started stalking me…" Her eyes went from Jax to Juice. "…and he started threatening Gracie."

Juice's eyes turned black and he was suddenly filled with a rage he didn't know he was capable of. He took a step off the porch, but Jax held him back. "Take Tara inside and lock the doors."

Juice shook his head and started towards the car, but Jax pushed him back. "I'm saying this as your fucking VP, brother. Stay with them."

Juice stared at Jax for a few moments and then reluctantly nodded. He grabbed Tara's wrist and started pulling her back towards the house as Jax started walking towards the car.

Tara looked stricken. "Jax, don't! He's dangerous."

He turned around and the look on his face was nothing short of murderous. "Go inside with Juice, Tara. Now!"

* * *

When Juice and Tara walked back into the house, Gracie was walking down the hallway to the living room. She was yawning and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her hair was a wavy, auburn mess and the only thing she was wearing was an oversized, worn out Star Trek t-shirt that hung down to the middle of her thighs. Juice didn't even have time to process how fucking adorable she looked because he was too fucking pissed.

Gracie raised her eyes to Juice and, for the first time since she knew him, he looked like he was mad at her. "Baby, what's wrong?"

He could barely control the anger in his voice. "Did you know about this fucking ATF agent, Grace?"

Gracie immediately turned towards Tara, walking over to her and giving her a hug. "What happened, Knowles? Are you alright?"

Tara nodded but was unable to speak before Juice grabbed Grace's arm and turned her back to face him. "I asked you a question, Gracie."

She didn't try to pull away. She just raised her free hand to his face and caressed the side of his cheek. Her voice was quiet. "Yes, Tara told me that Kohn was in town a couple of days ago."

He let himself get lost in those beautiful, calming green eyes and he felt the rage inside of him fade just slightly. He loosened his grip on her arm but didn't let go. "What the hell is going on, sweetheart? Who is this guy? Tara said he threatened you."

Just then, there was a loud knock on the door, which caused both women to jump and gasp. Juice looked through the peep hole before unlocking it and opening the door for Jax.

As soon as he came through the door, Tara rushed over to his side. "Jax, are you alright? What did you do?"

He looked over to Juice. "Knifed his fucking radiator." He looked back over to Tara. "That guy's an asshole and a psychopath, Tara. What the fuck is the story?"

Tara went over to the couch to sit down and Gracie quickly followed, sitting down beside her and holding her hand. Tara took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. "We weren't together long. I met Joshua on a blind date. We dated for a couple months. Nothing that I thought was too serious. But then he started getting really…possessive, I guess. Calling me at least ten times a day, constant texting, always doubting I was telling him the truth, thinking I was with someone else. When he started showing up at my work, I decided to break it off with him. That was the night he waited outside my apartment building…"

She looked up at Jax's face, which was now completely red with anger. "He punched me that night, told me that he would never let me leave him. The next day I went to his boss at the ATF but he brushed me off. I tried going to the cops, but they didn't believe me either. I had no shot at pressing charges. No one wanted to think that a federal agent was that fucking crazy."

Tara looked at Grace before continuing. She didn't know if she should tell this part of the story, if Jax would hate her or judge her. But she was done trying to hide the truth. She was done lying to Jax. Gracie squeezed her hand tighter and gave her a small reassuring smile.

Tara finally raised her eyes and looked at Jax. "A couple weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I knew I couldn't keep it. Gracie went with me the next day to a clinic and I had an abortion."

Jax's voice was strained with pent up anger, and he tried his best not to scream. "What aren't you telling me, Tara?"

Tara held tighter to Gracie's hand. "I came home a couple nights later and Joshua was waiting in the apartment. Gracie was still at work, thank god. He somehow found out about the abortion and…he lost it. He beat the hell out of me that night. Gracie came home a couple of hours later and found me. She cleaned me up and bandaged what she could. That night Gracie took me to five different precincts and I finally found one that would grant me a restraining order. About a week later, I heard about the job at St. Thomas and I knew that was my chance to get away."

Jax couldn't stop his hands from shaking. "That piece of shit."

Juice stepped forward. He felt terrible for Tara but he was more worried about what that asshole wanted with his woman. "What did he do to you, Gracie?"

Gracie just shook her head and shrugged. "Nothing really." Tara looked over at her with an exasperated expression. Grace kissed her on the forehead before continuing. "At least nothing compared to what he did to Tara."

She met Juice's eyes as she continued. "He blamed me for Tara breaking up with him, somehow got it in his head that I was the one who told her to do it. He started leaving threatening voicemails on my phone and angry notes on the window of my car. It got worse after the abortion. He was convinced that I talked her into getting it. The night he beat up Tara, he waited for me outside of the hospital after my shift, probably to do the same thing to me. But as soon as I saw him, I screamed for security and he ran away. A friend of mine walked me home that night, so I guess he missed his chance."

Juice's hands were balled into fists at his sides. "I'm gonna kill that asshole."

Gracie stood up and went to him. She wrapped her arms around Juice's waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "That's why I didn't tell you." She looked over at Jax. "Why we didn't tell either of you. Yes, he's a psychotic prick, and yes, he absolutely deserves to die for what he did to Tara. But he is still a federal agent and we weren't about to let the two of you get into trouble because of a piece of shit like him."

Tara stood up and walked over to Jax, who still looked so angry she thought he might explode. "We've been careful. I talked to Hale. The restraining order I had in Chicago is still good in California. And Gracie and I have both been carrying for the last few days."

Juice looked down at Gracie and raised his eyebrows. "You're carrying? Where the fuck did you get a gun?"

Gracie shrugged her shoulders and gave him a small smile. "My dad was army and my mom was from the South. It was inevitable. I have guns and I know what to do with them."

Juice didn't know whether to be proud or pissed. He reached up and held Grace's face with both of his hands. "I can protect you, sweetheart."

She nodded. "I know you can, baby. I guess…I guess I just wanted to protect you too."

He raised his eyes to the ceiling and let out a long, exasperated sigh before leaning down and giving her a small kiss. He then looked over at Jax. "So what do we do here, man?"

Jax shook his head. "I'm gonna go talk to Hale. Either he handles it or we will." He looked over at Tara and pointed his finger. "If you're alone today, you lock the fucking doors and keep that piece with you and loaded at all times, you hear me?"

Tara nodded. "I hear you."

Juice spoke up. "Do you want me to stay here until you talk to Hale?"

Jax shook his head. "No, I scared that fucker shitless. He's not gonna try anything today, especially with his other little ATF buddies in town. You go ahead and get your ass to TM."

Juice nodded. "Club business?"

"No, you're working the garage today."

Juice shook his head. "No, man. I'm off today."

Jax just rolled his eyes. "You're working all day, every day for the next week in the garage. Clay's orders. It's your punishment for the little souvenir you brought home from Indian Hills."

Juice hung his head and sighed. _Fucking Cherry._ "Alright. I'll get dressed and get over there."

Jax turned and walked out the door without another word. Tara went to the door and locked it before turning around to Juice and Gracie. "I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed."

Gracie went to her best friend and wrapped her tightly in a hug. She whispered just loud enough for Tara to hear, "You and me, Knowles."

Tara held her tighter and swallowed back her tears. "Always."

Tara gave a small wave to Juice before walking down the hall to her bedroom and closing the door.

As soon as they were alone, Juice pulled Gracie against his chest and hugged her so tightly she could barely breathe. His voice was low and steady. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, sweetheart. I love you. I fucking love you, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

Grace backed out of his hold just far enough to look into his eyes. She bit her lip at the raw emotion she saw staring back at her. She pulled his face down towards her own and kissed him passionately, trying to pour all of her love and reassurance into every touch. Juice pulled her even closer, balling up her t-shirt in his fists. She felt his tongue brush against her lips and she immediately opened them, granting him access. She moaned at the feeling of his tongue against her own, savoring every contact. After a few minutes, they both pulled away, gasping for air.

Gracie placed her hands gently around his neck and softly scratched the back of his head. He leaned into her touch and she smiled. "I'm fine, baby. I'm safe. No one is going to hurt me. I love you so much, Juice."

He leaned down and gave her a small, chaste kiss on the lips before resting his forehead against hers.

Juice sighed. "I don't want to leave you sweetheart, but I have to get to work."

Gracie leaned back slightly and nodded. "I know." She suddenly tilted her head to the side, raised her eyebrows, and grinned. "Oh right, so what was Jax talking about? Why did you get in trouble over a souvenir?"

Juice rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's a long fucking story."

Gracie grinned. "Well, would you mind letting me ride to TM with you? I need to get my car."

He looked at her in surprise. "What? What happened to your car?"

She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing unusual. My car died on me a couple days ago a few miles outside of Charming and I had to call Teller-Morrow to tow me in."

Juice suddenly became a little uncomfortable as he tried to suppress the nervous feeling brewing inside him. "You went to TM?"

Gracie smiled. "Yep. I actually ended up hanging out there for most of the day, drinking with some of the guys in the clubhouse."

Juice crossed his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really?"

She couldn't stop her smile from widening. _Is he jealous? _"I guess I didn't get a chance to talk to you about it yet."

She started walking down the hallway while Juice stood frozen in the living room. She turned to look at him and giggled at the stunned expression on his face. "It was fun. I made a lot of new friends…"

She winked at him and laughed before walking into her bedroom.

**Please review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**A bit of sexiness to start this one off…and this time it's not lovey-smut, it's more like porn smut. So if that isn't your thing, please don't read the first section.**

**So speaking of the sexiness, I want your opinion. Juice and Gracie are obviously in love and just had sex for the first time. So, realistically, they are going to want to do it…like, a lot :-) Can you review and let me know how much or how little smuttiness you all like to read and I'll try my best to accommodate. This story will always focus more on the storyline and characters than it will on the sex, but let's be honest, the sex is pretty fun.**

**I'm messing with the timeline a little to move the story along. This chapter is super long and should have probably been broken up into two, but I didn't, so here you go. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 20

"Ok, so when you say you made some new friends, what did…"

Juice's voice caught in his throat when he opened the door and saw Gracie standing in the middle of her bedroom, pulling her t-shirt up and over her head, leaving her completely naked.

She raised her eyebrows and smiled. "I'm sorry. Were you saying something, Ortiz?"

"I…uh…yeah, um…" He was sure there were words in his head a few moments ago, but now he couldn't think about anything except the site of her perfect tits.

She started to walk towards him, but just as he was about to reach out and grab her, she ducked to the side and opened the door.

When she turned to face him, her eyes were sparkling and she had a sexy smile on her face. "You can ask me questions later, Juan Carlos. You're going to be late for work. Right now, we need to shower."

* * *

Gracie was already rinsing the shampoo out of her hair by the time he pulled back the shower curtain and climbed in next to her. He watched transfixed as she stood under the stream of hot water, his eyes following the path of the droplets as they fell from her shoulders, around her breasts, over her stomach, and past the curve of her hips. _Jesus, this is hotter than any porno I've ever seen._ He breathed in and almost got dizzy from the familiar scent of coconut that now filled the little bathroom. She opened her eyes and softly smiled at him before grabbing the bottle of conditioner and working it through her hair.

Juice reached over for her body wash, smiling when he opened it and realized that he had found the source of the vanilla he could always smell on Gracie. He lathered it between his hands before reaching out and slowly rubbing them over her shoulders, down her back, and over the curves of her ass, gently squeezing. He watched as the blush he loved so much appeared on her cheeks and a small, sexy smile formed on her lips. His hands traveled from her ass, up the sides of her stomach, over her ribcage, and moved to cup her tits. She arched her back, pressing her chest harder into his hands as they kneaded and squeezed.

She opened her eyes and sighed. "You know, if you keep that up, you're going to be late for work, baby."

He dropped to his knees in front of her and grinned. "I don't give a fuck about work right now, sweetheart."

His soapy hands ran slowly over every inch of her legs, starting on the front of her thighs, down her knees to her feet, and then up the back of her calves, all the way up to her ass. He grasped the back of her thighs and pressed his face against her center. She gripped the back of his head and could feel his lips moving against her when he groaned. "Fuck, Gracie Jane, you have the most beautiful pussy."

She placed her hands on his shoulders for balance and moaned when he took one of his hands and started washing her there. He ran his fingers slowly through her folds before finding her clit and applying the slightest pressure.

Her nails dug into the back of his neck and he quickened his movements, causing her to whimper. "Juice…baby…"

He was just about to replace his fingers with his tongue when he felt her step back and move away from his hold. He gazed up at her from his knees. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip and grinned. She leaned down and kissed him sweetly before grabbing his hands and pulling him up to stand in front of her. She moved so that they switched positions and he was now standing under the hot cascade. "Nothing's wrong. It's just your turn."

He smiled as he watched her lather her own hands this time, and sighed as she started running them all over his body, massaging his shoulders, biceps, and abs, before kneeling down and washing his legs. His breath hitched when he realized that Gracie was at eye level with his now hardened cock. He looked down at those gorgeous green eyes and the sexy smile she was giving him.

She never broke her gaze as she gently gripped his length and started moving it up and down at a torturously slow pace. He leaned one of his hands on the wall of the shower for balance.

Juice's voice was thick and raspy. "What are you doing sweetheart?" He wanted to hear her say it.

She bit her lip and smiled innocently, knowing what he was asking for. "Just getting you clean, baby."

The smirk he had on his face faded the moment her other hand started gently massaging his balls. "Oh, fuck, Gracie…that's fucking perfect."

As the water falling down his body rinsed the soap away from his now throbbing dick, Gracie leaned closer and barely ran her lips over the head, licking away the small amount of precum that had formed.

"Oh shit, sweetheart…"

Gracie stared up at him, her eyes darkened and pupils dilated, and bit her lower lip. Her cheeks blushed furiously just before she spoke. "I want to suck on you, Juice. Is that ok?"

His eyes widened and his voice was strained. "Holy fuck, Gracie…are you trying to kill me? Fuck, sweetheart, please."

She pumped him with her fist a few more times before leaning down and wrapping her mouth around his cock. She spent a few moments sucking on the sensitive tip before running her tongue up and down the sides of his length. She started moving her mouth in tandem with her fist, hollowing out her cheeks and sucking him as hard as she could.

Juice's groans were the sexiest thing she'd ever heard and were turning her on more than she thought possible. Never stopping her movements, she opened her eyes and looked up at his face before taking the hand that was cupping his balls and moving them down to play with her pussy.

When Gracie looked up at him with his cock in her mouth, that was fucking hot…but when he saw her get so turned on from blowing him that she had to start touching herself, it blew his fucking mind. He forced himself to shut his eyes, because he knew he would come if he kept watching.

Gracie desperately wanted to come with his dick still in her mouth. She started moving her fingers in small, quick circles around her clit, the fastest way she knew she could make herself come. She took her hand off Juice and moved it to her breast where she slowly ran her thumb over her hardened nipple. She could feel a familiar tightening in her abdomen and worked herself harder and faster until she finally fell over the edge. Her screams were muffled by Juice's cock and she whimpered in satisfaction until the last aftershock of her orgasm faded away.

Juice fought with everything he had not to come as he felt the vibrations of her moans all the way down to his toes. This was too good, too fucking good, and he never wanted it to end. He finally looked down at his girl and groaned when he saw the look of pure ecstasy in her eyes. She moved her hands away from her body and grabbed his ass, pulling him further into her.

"Sweetheart, what are you…oh, holy shit, Gracie!"

In one smooth movement, she took as much of him in as she possibly could, until he could feel himself hitting the back of her throat. When she backed away and then deep throated him again, he tangled his hands in her wet hair and involuntarily felt his hips thrust forward as he pulled her head even closer.

When he realized what he'd done, Juice immediately pulled himself out of her. "Fuck Gracie, I'm sorry, I…"

She shook her head and smiled. "It's ok, baby. I like it. Please…"

She sucked him into her mouth again and this time encouraged Juice to grasp her hair harder and set the pace of her head while he quickly thrust into her, hitting the back of her throat each time. After a few more moments, he felt his balls tighten and he knew he was close.

"Oh, fuck, Gracie…I'm going to come…I'm, oh god…"

She took him in farther than ever before and moaned around his length, sending him spiraling. He was lost in sensation, spilling himself into Gracie's mouth and feeling her swallow around him. When she had taken everything he had to give, his legs finally gave out and he sank to the shower floor in front of her.

When he opened his still blurry eyes a few seconds later, he saw his beautiful woman smiling shyly. He used what little energy he had left in his body to kiss her passionately, still able to taste himself on her lips. "Holy fucking Christ, Gracie Jane. That was amazing."

He opened his eyes to see her smiling widely and looking very pleased with herself. She winked at him before leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. She moved her lips to his ear and whispered, "Anytime, baby. Now let's get you to work."

* * *

Gracie squeezed Juice a little tighter and kissed the back of his neck as they pulled into the TM lot. When they were getting dressed, she told him all about meeting the guys. She smiled to herself thinking about how the conversation went down.

"_Like I said, I was broken down on the side of the road, and Chibs and Kip towed me in."_

_Juice frowned. "You mean Half-Sack?"_

_Gracie rolled her eyes at him but grinned. "No, I mean Kip. Then we got to the garage and Chibs wanted to introduce me to the guys."_

_He crossed his arms over his chest. "Which guys?"_

"_Piney and Bobby, and they were both adorable."_

_Juice looked at her like she was crazy. "Hold up. Did you just call Piney Winston and Bobby Munson 'adorable'?"_

_Gracie laughed. "Yes, I did. They were nothing but sweet to me."_

_He just shook his head. "Ok, so what happened?"_

_She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing happened. We talked, we drank, Chibs offered to run away with me, Opie gave me a ride home, but that's about it."_

"_Alright, I guess it's…wait a second, Chibs did what?"_

_Gracie laughed before walking over to Juice and giving him a quick peck on the lips. "The guys all love you. They really respect you, baby. They said they love giving you a hard time because you're such a good guy, but that they know how smart you are and what an asset you are to the club. They were probably just nice to me because I'm your…girlfriend, I guess?"_

_Juice watched Gracie turn five shades of red and he couldn't help but smile. She's so fucking cute sometimes. 'Girlfriend' seemed like such a piss poor way to describe what she was to him. As far as he was concerned, Gracie was his old lady, but until he was sure that was a title she wanted, 'girlfriend' would have to do._

_He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "Sweetheart, they were nice to you because you're you…because you're gorgeous and genuine and the sweetest fucking woman in the world." He moved his hands down from her waist to her ass and pulled her hard against him, causing her to yelp and giggle. He kissed her softly and smiled. "And of course you're my girlfriend. I love you. You're my woman and I'm your man. Ok?"_

_A dreamy look crossed her face. Her arms moved from resting on his biceps to wrapping around his neck. She bit her bottom lip before smiling sweetly. "Ok."_

_Juice leaned down and gave her a small, closed mouth kiss and then grinned. "So, what about Chibs? Do I have some competition?"_

_Gracie laughed as she rose up on the tips of her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, baby. He's not my type. I'm only into Puerto Rican, computer genius sex gods with mohawks and head tattoos."_

_When Juice pulled back slightly, his eyebrows were raised and he had a huge, cocky smile on his face. "I'm a sex god, Gracie Jane?"_

_He watched in amusement as her cheeks turned beet red. She shook her head before quickly hiding her face in her hands. "Why do I say these things out loud?"_

_Juice just laughed as he hugged her close and kissed her forehead. God, he fucking loved this woman. _

Gracie climbed off the back of Juice's bike and handed him his helmet. He couldn't stop himself from looking her over from head to toe. She was wearing a pair of tight black skinny jeans, her black Chuck Taylor's, a loose green v-neck t-shirt, and an old beat up blue denim jacket. _Fuck, she's looks amazing and she's not even trying. _He watched her as she ran her fingers through her windblown hair and tried to tame the coppery waves. _Just like she ran them through her hair last night when she was on top of me, grinding her hips and screaming my name…_

He got off his bike and went to her, pulling her close. "You realize I'm not going to be able to focus for one god damn second today because the only thing I'll be thinking about is you."

He watched her cheeks redden as she gave him a small smile. "Me neither. I'm so glad I don't have to work today. I can't imagine the mistakes I would make. Constantly thinking about you is a little distracting, Ortiz."

He flashed her a big smile before kissing her soundly. When he pulled away he grabbed one of her hands, lacing her fingers with his own. "Come on, Gracie Jane. Let's go say hi to your new friends."

* * *

When Chibs looked up and saw Juice walking towards him with his favorite auburn haired beauty, he smiled. "Aye, there she is."

He walked over to Gracie and threw his arm around her shoulders, pulling her away from Juice. "And how is the lovely Grace this fine morning?"

Gracie put her arm around his waist and smiled up at the handsome, older man. "She's great. And how's her favorite Scotsman?"

He gave her a wink. "Better now that you're here, lass."

Gracie rolled her eyes at Chibs before stepping out of his reach and back over to Juice. He held her hand again and walked her over to the picnic table.

Juice squeezed her hand a little tighter as they made their way to the group of guys sitting down smoking. "Hey Clay, this is Grace Anderson. Grace, this is Clay Morrow. He's the President of the charter."

She couldn't help but be intimidated by the burly man in front of her. When he reached out to shake her hand he was grinning, but his smile never quite reached his eyes. "You're the nurse, right?"

Gracie nodded. "Yes, I work in the ER at St. Thomas. It's nice to meet you."

Clay just nodded. "So, you're Juicey's girl?"

She looked over at Juice and smiled before turning back to Clay. "Yeah, I am."

"Well, welcome to Samcro."

"Hey, you were in the clubhouse the other night, right?"

Gracie turned towards the man who just spoke. He was the same one she saw at the clubhouse with the wild brown hair and intense blue eyes. She looked down at his kutte and saw that he was the Sergeant-at-Arms, whatever that meant. "Yeah, I was. Hi, uh, I'm Grace."

She felt herself blush under his stare. He was looking at her like he was a starving man and she was a big, fat piece of chocolate cake. "I'm Tig. I gotta say, you're sexy as hell, doll. You sure you want to be wasting your time on this moron?"

The words flew out of her mouth before she even had time to think. "Juice is a genius and one of the smartest men I've ever met, I'm absolutely sure about him, and I haven't wasted a second of my time."

Juice looked down at Grace in awe. There were very few men who had the balls to talk back to Tig Traeger, and there was his sweet little Grace, standing up to him without a trace of fear in her voice. He was so fucking proud of her. He had to take shit from Tig because that's his SAA and Tig has earned his respect. But everyone knew that your woman wasn't supposed to care about the hierarchy. Your woman was supposed to be loyal to her old man above all else. And Gracie had just proven to all of his brothers that she was loyal to him. And then it hit him. _She's loyal, and caring, and strong, and loving…fuck, she'd be the perfect old lady._ He looked over at Chibs and Bobby who both had huge smiles on their faces. Clay even met his eyes for a brief second and gave him an approving nod.

Another moment passed before a slow grin finally crossed Tig's face. He took a sip of his beer and another drag off his cigarette, his eyes never leaving Gracie. "There aren't a lot of women around here that talk to me like that, Red." He smirked and winked at her before turning towards Juice. "I like this one. Don't fuck it up."

Bobby started laughing as he stood from the table and wrapped Gracie in a hug. "Nice to see you again, sweetheart."

She let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and smiled. "Hey Bobby. Good to see you too."

He straightened the black rimmed glasses on his face and smiled at her. "So, what brings you to the clubhouse? Just can't stay away?"

She shook her head. "As happy as I am to see you again, I actually came to see about my car. Do you happen to know if it's finished?"

He shook his head. "Not sure, but Lowell's over there in the ring with Sack. He'll know."

Gracie looked over at the boxing ring just in time to see Kip land a solid blow to Lowell's head, which sent the smaller man flying into the ropes. Tig smirked when he saw Gracie cringe. "You don't like boxing, Red?"

Gracie looked at Tig and shrugged her shoulders, her voice quieter now. "I don't know. I guess I just don't like to watch people get hurt."

Tig tilted his head and stared at her in confusion, before giving her a small, sincere smile. "You're a sweet kid, doll."

Clay suddenly yelled over to the two men in the ring. "Lowell, get the hell out of there. You've killed enough brain cells."

Lowell climbed out of the ring and walked over to the picnic table. "Sorry Clay. I just wanted to help Half-Sack train." He looked over at Gracie and gave her a small wave which she returned.

Juice spoke up. "Hey man. Is Gracie's car finished?"

Lowell almost looked guilty. "I'm really sorry, Grace. I tried everything, I really did, but that car isn't ever going to run again. You need a new engine, the transmission's shot, your brakes and rotors all need replaced, and even if all that could be repaired for less than a small fortune, the body is literally falling apart. The only thing you can do now is scrap it."

Gracie felt her eyes well up with tears that she tried desperately to blink away. Juice wrapped his arm around her waist and squeezed, knowing what the car meant to her.

Lowell looked lost. "I mean, not that it's any of my business, but don't nurses make pretty good money? I mean, I'm sure you can afford a better car, one that's actually safe to drive."

Gracie nodded as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yeah, I can get a new car. The Honda was just…it was my High school graduation gift from my dad. I lost him a few years ago and I just…I guess I've been trying to hold onto it for as long as I could…you know, for him."

Lowell looked down at the ground. "I'm really sorry I wasn't able to fix it."

Gracie shook her head before stepping out of Juice's hold and giving Lowell a small hug. "Thank you so much for trying to fix it. It's not your fault. I mean…it _was_ kind of a piece of shit." She lowered her face so that she could meet his down-turned eyes and smiled.

Just then the sound of another Harley filled the air and Grace looked up to see Jax pulling into the lot. Juice took her hand again and led her away from the other guys and over towards the row of parked bikes.

When they got over to Jax, he leaned in and gave Gracie a kiss on the cheek before nodding to Juice. "I just talked to Hale. He had no idea that Kohn was the one who Tara had the restraining order against. He called the feds in Chicago and apparently Kohn is in some deep shit. He's supposed to be on his way back to Illinois sometime today."

Gracie sighed in relief. "Thank god. That man's a monster. I just want him gone and away from Tara."

Jax nodded. "Me too. Thanks for taking such good care of her for me, Gracie. She needs someone like you."

He turned and walked a few feet towards the clubhouse but stopped when he heard Gracie call out his name. "Hey, Jax?" He turned around to face her. She just gave him a small, knowing smile. "I think she needs someone like you, too."

* * *

Since Gracie didn't have a car and Juice wasn't sure what time Kohn would be leaving town, he asked her to hang out at the clubhouse until the end of his shift where he knew she'd be safe. She agreed as long as she wouldn't be in anyone's way.

Gracie tried her best to stay busy. She called Tara and talked about everything that was going on, helped Bobby make some chocolate chip cookies, talked to Lowell about Moby, and of course spent time with Juice, even though she knew she was distracting him from his work. Most of her day, however, was occupied by watching Chibs work with Kip in the boxing ring, preparing for some big tournament that he was fighting in that night. Kip proudly introduced her to Cherry, a girl that he had drunkenly told her about during her last visit to the clubhouse.

Gracie liked the younger woman and was totally fascinated by the stories she told. Cherry was really open about her time spent as a sweetbutt in Indian Hills, about how she always wanted to be an old lady and believed that she finally met the right guy when she met Kip. They talked about hair styles and manicures, clothes and music, celebrity crushes, all the usual girl talk.

At some point in the day, Cherry looked at Gracie in confusion. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

Gracie just furrowed her brow. "What? Why wouldn't I be nice to you?"

Cherry shrugged her shoulders. "Women that are better than me, like you…you know, college degree, good job, got your shit together…they hear how I've lived my life and they look at me like I'm trash. Why don't you?"

Gracie shook her head. "You're not trash, Cherry, and I'm not better than you. I haven't lived your life and I have no right to judge you. The choices I've made aren't better than yours…they're just different. I'm nice to you because you're a nice person. End of story."

Gracie grunted slightly when Cherry suddenly threw her arms around her and gave her a tight hug. "Thanks Grace. I hope we can be friends."

Gracie looked up towards the ring at Kip, who was smiling down at them, and winked at him before pulling out of Cherry's hug. "We already are. Now, what were you saying about how I should cut my hair?"

* * *

Gracie was sitting on the back of Juice's Harley when he finally closed up the garage. She felt her smile widen with every step he took towards her. _God, he's even beautiful covered in sweat and motor oil._ She stood up and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She gave his a long, slow kiss before pulling back.

Her voice was playful. "How was your day, dear?"

Juice smirked and tightened his arms around her waist. He started trailing slow kisses down the column of her neck, causing her to sigh. "It was terrible. The sexiest woman I've ever seen kept coming into the garage and distracting me. I think I broke more shit than I fixed."

He raised his eyes to hers and they just stood there, smiling at each other. Gracie placed her hand on the side of his cheek and caressed it with her thumb. "Are you ready to go home?"

It was a totally innocent question. He was sure she didn't mean anything by it…that she had no way of knowing what her words made him feel. They weren't living together, _hell, we've only been together about five seconds. _He couldn't explain it. He had only stayed there a few times, but Gracie's house already felt more like home to him than anywhere he'd ever been in his life. Maybe it was how cozy and personal it was, or the food she made, or the pictures she had, or the way everything smelled so good. But as he looked into her pretty green eyes and fell in love with her all over again, he knew it was none of those things…it was just her. Juice was quickly realizing that as long as he was with Gracie, he always felt like he was home.

He just nodded. "Yeah, I am. Let me grab some clothes and my kutte from my room and I'll be right out."

A couple minutes later, Juice returned. He was wearing his kutte and carrying a small backpack. When he was next to her, he looked down at the ground and spoke quietly. "I, uh, packed some clothes and a toothbrush and stuff…you know, in case I stay over again, if that's ok."

She placed her hands on his cheeks and raised his face, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I was hoping you would."

He sighed in relief and smiled. He slipped the backpack over Gracie's shoulders and helped her strap on his helmet before climbing on. When he felt her arms tighten around his waist, he looked over his shoulder and grinned. "Let's go home, Gracie Jane."

As soon as they got to Gracie's, Juice took a quick shower. When he came out of the bathroom about ten minutes later, he was dressed in a clean white t-shirt that had SAMCRO across the front and a pair of black cargo pants. When he walked into the kitchen, he smiled at the simple scene before him. Gracie had set two places at the table and each had a plate filled with a sandwich and potato chips. When she saw him come in, she reached into the fridge and handed him a beer.

She looked down at the table and frowned. "I'm sorry about dinner. I haven't been here all day and didn't get a chance to go to the store. It's just chicken salad. I hope that's ok."

He leaned down and gave her a small, sweet kiss. "It's perfect, sweetheart. Thanks."

She nodded and turned to sit down in her chair, but before she could, Juice pulled her back to him and wrapped her in a tight hug. "I love you, Gracie."

Her face lit up and she gave him a big smile. "I love you too, Juice."

After dinner, Gracie made a box of brownies, which took way longer than it should have because she was constantly swatting Juice's fingers away from the batter. By the time they were finished baking Tara was home from the hospital, and the three of them relaxed on the sectional, ate brownies, and watched some of Gracie's _X-Files_ dvds. After three episodes, everyone turned in since they all had to work in the morning. Juice and Gracie made love again that night, this time trying their best to be quiet since Tara was home, and fell asleep wrapped up in each others arms.

When Juice woke up to the sound of an alarm clock in the morning, he was alone in Gracie's bed. He grinned when he saw the note resting on her pillow.

_Hey Baby,_

_I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, but I didn't want to wake you. You look kind of cute when you sleep, Ortiz. Tara gave me a ride to work. There's food in the kitchen if you're hungry, and I left you a key on the counter so you can lock up when you leave. I hope I can see you tonight, and I hope you have a better day at work today. That sexy lady that kept bothering you yesterday must have been really annoying..._

_I love you,_

_Grace_

Juice rolled over and buried his face in Gracie's pillow, inhaling his favorite smell in the world, before climbing out of bed, throwing on his clothes, and heading to TM.

* * *

Juice's day was fucking crazy. When he got to work, everyone was on edge because of the money the club owed the Irish, and he was stuck working in the stupid garage. He went on what should have been a simple tow run with Half-Sack, but watched helplessly as the little shit turned it into a clusterfuck by stealing a god damn ambulance. When he got back to the garage, Jax arrived and told everyone they were flush for the guns thanks to a stolen Oswald tanker truck, which was the only good news they would have all god damn day.

Jax pulled Juice aside and told him that Kohn had stayed in town and trashed Abel's nursery. It was then that Juice noticed the slight limp he was trying to hide, and Jax told him that Kohn stabbed him in the leg with a pair of scissors at Floyd's before he threw the fucker through a window and beat the shit out of him. Jax reassured Juice that Kohn was now finally out of town and away from Tara and Gracie, saying he followed the cops to the Charming city limits to make sure.

The rest of the night was a nightmare. Clay and Tig met with Cameron Hayes who told them that McKeavey had been murdered, and then some Mayan assholes tried to assassinate Clay, but ended up hitting Hayes instead. Right now, Juice was standing by the Redwood table, his hand knuckle deep in a bullet wound, trying to help Chibs save Cameron's life. As he looked at the blood and guns all around him a brief thought quickly ran through his mind. _At least Gracie isn't here to see this shit._

* * *

Gracie could describe her day in one word…boring. The ER was slower than anytime she had ever worked and she spent most of her day sitting in the nurse's station, drinking coffee, and fantasizing about her boyfriend. When she was eating lunch with Tara, David Hale approached them in the cafeteria and told them about Kohn and Jax's fight at the barbershop, assuring them that Jax was fine and that Kohn was finally in custody and away from Charming for good.

When she went back to the ER, she worked a few more hours but things still hadn't picked up. Her manager asked if she wanted to go home a couple of hours early, which Gracie jumped at, hoping that she could spend a little more time with Juice tonight than planned. She found Tara in the NICU and told her that she was leaving early. Tara gave her the keys to the Cutlass and told her to take it home and that she would call her later to come back and get her or she would just find another ride home.

Gracie pulled the Cutlass into the driveway and headed towards the house. She unlocked the front door and walked into her living room, but before she could even take two steps, she felt something cold and metal hit her hard on the back of the head, causing her to fall to the floor. She felt someone flip her over onto her back and pull her arms forward. When her vision briefly came back into focus she looked down and saw that her hands were bound together with zip ties. She raised her cloudy eyes just in time to see Joshua Kohn place a piece of duct tape over her mouth. She tried to scream, but nothing came out. The pain on the back of her head was too severe and she started drifting in and out of consciousness.

The last sound she heard was Kohn's voice whispering, "So good to see you again, Gracie Jane." After that, her eyes fell shut and everything faded into darkness…

**Please review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**HUGE response to the last chapter! So happy you liked the cliffhanger at the end and I absolutely loved hearing your predictions for how things will go down with Kohn. Oh, and thanks for letting me know that you all apparently LOVE smut :-) I'll definitely keep writing it so long as it fits the story.**

**Trigger warning for this chapter (assault and attempted rape just like on the show). Again, I'm playing with the timeline and changing some events…hope you like where it goes…**

Chapter 21

Tara lifted Abel out of the incubator and held him close in her arms. "You're finally free, little one."

She gazed at the newborn, who softly cooed in her arms. He was so small, so sweet, so incredibly beautiful. She cared for all of her patients, but over the weeks that she had been caring for Abel, Tara had fallen head over heels for the little boy. She tried to ignore how natural it felt to hold him, how easy it was to love him like he was her own…how right it felt to hold a baby that had Jax's eyes.

She smiled down at him when he grabbed her finger with his tiny hand. "You're going to be a heartbreaker just like your daddy, aren't you?" And if she didn't know better, she could have sworn she saw him smile back.

Tara gently patted his back as she made her way to Jax and Gemma. They both looked so happy at the site of Abel, finally healthy and thriving. Jax had tears in his eyes and his face beamed with pride. And for once, Gemma didn't look at Tara like she hated her...she almost looked grateful.

Tara looked on, smiling, as Jax held his son for the very first time. It was one of the most beautiful moments she'd ever seen; the man she loved more than anything happier than he had ever been.

When she stepped out of the nursery with Gemma to give Jax and Abel some time alone, she found herself staring back at them through the glass. The two of them made a beautiful family, and just for a moment, she let herself pretend that she was Abel's mother, that she was Jax's wife, and that she was a member of that perfect little family too.

A few hours later, Tara was walking out of St. Thomas. She had tried calling Gracie twice in the last 30 minutes to come and pick her up, but she never answered. As she walked outside, she flipped open her phone to try calling again but paused when she heard the unmistakable sound of a Harley pulling into the lot.

Jax walked towards her with an apologetic look on his face. "Hey Doc, listen. I'm sorry to do this, but the club needs your help."

* * *

Tara walked into her house, with Jax following closely behind. She had no idea why, but he needed medical supplies and surgical tools for the club. She went to the hallway closet and got out her personal kit, since she wasn't able to take anything from the supply room at the hospital without getting caught.

When she handed him her medical bag and they spoke to each other, the same sadness that broke her ten years ago suddenly consumed her once more. Her heart ached at Jax's words. He didn't come right out and say it, but she could always read him like a book. He was telling her that there wasn't any hope for them. She knew he was right, of course…that if they were ever to get back together, most of her time would be spent worrying about whatever dangerous shit he was doing, his would be spent apologizing for it. It was why they split up when they were kids and why Tara had so desperately tried to keep Gracie away from Juice. It was simple…when it came to men like Jax and Juice, sometimes loving them just wasn't enough. Before he left, she reminded Jax that the man she saw with Abel earlier had a love and vulnerability that never existed in the past. She silently prayed that maybe it would be enough to bridge the gap that so deeply divided them right now.

She closed the door and walked to her bedroom. When she sat down on the bed, she looked at her bedside table and noticed that her iPod wasn't where she had left it that morning. Then, when she looked over at her dresser, she saw another iPod that had no business being there at all. A wave of panic swept over her…something just wasn't right. She ran to her closet to retrieve the gun Grace had given her, since she had stopped carrying it the day before when she thought Joshua had left town. But as soon as she opened the closet door, she screamed.

Gracie was on the floor, her hands and feet bound with zip ties and her mouth covered with duct tape. Her beautiful green eyes were swollen and red from crying and were darting around in every direction. She had bruises on both sides of her face and a large cut above her right eye that was leaving a trail of blood down her cheek and onto her light blue scrubs.

Tara ripped the duct tape off in one swift movement. "Oh my God, Gracie! Are you…"

As soon as the tape was gone, Gracie just screamed. "Tara, run! He's here! Run!"

Grace's eyes shifted over Tara's shoulder, and before she could even turn around, Kohn had tackled Tara to the floor beside Gracie.

Kohn flipped Tara onto her back and she started screaming hysterically. He grabbed a nearby pillow and shoved it over her face with his left hand, while his right held his gun against Gracie's temple.

Kohn waited for the sound of Jax's Harley to fade into the distance before he spoke. The sound of his voice sent chills down Grace's spine.

He shoved his gun harder against Grace's head before removing the pillow and looking down at Tara. "Now Tara, do you see your friend? Do you see what I'll do to her if you scream again, honey? Do you understand?"

Tara looked over at Gracie, tears streaming down her best friend's bruised and bloody face. She looked up at Kohn and quickly nodded.

Tara tried without success to keep her voice from trembling. "You're…you're hurting her. You're hurting me, Joshua."

He suddenly looked apologetic as he holstered his gun and pulled Tara up so that she was sitting on the bed. "Tara, I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this, but I just needed five minutes with you…."

For just a moment, Tara thought that maybe she could reason with him. "Josh, you're in a lot of trouble. Please, just go, just…"

He was suddenly furious and screaming. "I just need five god damn minutes, Tara! Five fucking minutes!"

Tara glanced quickly at Grace's tear stained face before raising her hands up in surrender. "Fine, ok, sure. Five minutes."

She held her breath and fought back tears as Kohn pulled a nearby chair over to the bed, sat down in front of her, and started talking. The entire time he was speaking, trying to rationalize and justify his psychotic behavior, all Tara could think about was how she could possibly get herself and Gracie out of this situation alive.

She knew she had to keep him calm. That was their only hope. She tried her best to sound convincing as she apologized for getting the restraining order, promised him that she would never be with Jackson, and tried to make him believe that she would give him another chance.

Gracie had moved so that she was leaning against the wall opposite the side of Tara's bed. Her whole body ached, her heart was racing, and she was experiencing a terror that she had never known was possible. Every time she watched that monster put his hands on Tara, she had to swallow back the bile that threatened to rise in her throat. _Oh God, please don't let him hurt her. Please don't let him hurt her._

She couldn't believe how delusional he was, that he somehow believed in his sick, twisted head that he and Tara could work through their differences. Tara was trying her best to stay calm as Kohn professed his love for her, but Gracie could see the mounting fear behind her eyes. When he leaned in and kissed Tara on the lips, Grace once again tried to quietly pull her hands from her restraints, but her wrists were already raw and bleeding from the hours that she had spent trying to free herself without success.

Gracie froze when Kohn's voice suddenly got cold and emotionless. "Do you want to talk about our baby, Tara?"

Tara quickly glanced at Gracie before meeting Joshua's stare. Her voice was quiet but strong. "I had an abortion at six weeks. It was never a baby."

Kohn nodded his head. "You're right. It wasn't. It never had a chance." He jumped out of the chair so quickly he knocked it over. He bounded over to Grace, grabbing a fist full of her hair and dragging her across the room so that she lay at Tara's feet. Gracie held back her screams, even as the pain in her already throbbing head became unbearable.

He slammed her head to the ground and once again unholstered his gun and held it against Gracie's face. She held back her screams, but was unable to hold back her tears, certain that this was the moment he would finally kill her.

Kohn cocked the gun and then looked up at Tara with hatred in his eyes. "You killed our baby because you let this stupid bitch talk you into it! You murdered our baby because this fucking little cunt was jealous of our love, Tara!"

Tara started to cry, terrified that the woman she loved like a sister was going to die right in front of her eyes. _Oh god, and it would be all my fault. This is all my fault._ Suddenly sure of what she had to do to protect her only family, Tara slowly reached her hands out to cup Kohn's face.

She willed her body to stop shaking and tried to keep her voice calm. "You're right, Joshua. It was a baby…it was our baby. I should have talked to you about him when I found out…I'm so sorry, baby."

Kohn leaned into her touch and nodded. "See sweetie. That's all I wanted. I just wanted you to admit that you made a mistake so that now we can move past it." He pressed his gun harder into Gracie's cheek, causing her to whimper. "And you admit that you never wanted to get rid of the baby? That it was all her idea? Because she needs to pay for what she did to our family, Tara."

Tara swallowed the vomit rising in her throat as she leaned in and kissed him. "I know that Grace has…" She looked down and met Gracie's eyes for a moment. "I know that she's made some mistakes…unforgivable mistakes. But I love her, Josh. Not as much as I love you, but she's like my family. If you hurt her, it will hurt me. Please don't hurt me."

A few moments of silence passed before Kohn sighed loudly and grinned at Tara. "You know that I could never hurt you, sweetie."

He took the gun off Gracie's face and held it at his side. "What should I do with her then, Tara? She's a toxic little bitch. She can't be a part of our lives. She'll tear us apart."

Tara nodded and tried her best to return his grin. "We'll leave. You and me. We'll go back to Chicago and start over. We'll leave her here, and I swear that I will never talk to her or see her ever again. Ok?"

Tara could see the doubt still looming in his eyes. She briefly looked down at Gracie and hoped that her friend understood what she was trying to do, or if nothing else could see in her eyes how much she loved her. She looked back at Kohn and plastered a grin on her face.

Tara started to slowly unbutton her shirt. "Now, Josh. It's been too long. It's time for a fresh start. I need you, please." When her shirt was unbuttoned, she unzipped her jeans and slid them to the ground.

Kohn looked down at Grace, still laying on the floor, and then back up to Tara. "You want to do this now? What about her?"

Tara fought back tears as she shook her head and forced a smile. "I'm glad she's hear, baby. She needs to see how much I love you, how much you love me. Then she'll leave us alone."

She stood in front of him and started to unbutton his shirt. He smiled again and kissed her before pushing her down to the bed. Tara tried not to let her expression change when he placed his gun on the bedside table and peeled off his shirt.

When he jumped on top of her and started running his hands all over her body, she bit her lip to keep from crying out in disgust. Every touch against her skin felt like acid. _You can do this, Knowles. You have to give Gracie a chance to run. You can do this. _His movements were frenzied and she knew that she had to get him to slow down, to get lost in her so that Gracie would have time to crawl away. Tara knew that Kohn was going to rape her, knew that she would not leave her bedroom alive. But if this was what she had to do to give Gracie a chance to escape, she would do it a thousand times over.

She caressed his face in her hands and blinked away the moisture from her eyes. "Not like this baby. Please…make love to me. Slowly, gently…like I know you can. Please, Josh. I love you."

Tara watched in relief as Kohn took a deep breath and nodded. He let her flip them over so that he was lying on his back and she was kissing a path down his chest. When she heard him start to sigh, she knew that his eyes were probably closed and it was now or never. _Please Gracie Jane, get away, please. _She took a moment to glance towards the door hoping to see Gracie making her way to the living room, but instead saw her silently crawling towards the bedside table.

Gracie did her best to crawl the few feet to the table, mostly using her knees and forearms since her hands and feet were still tied together. She knew that she would still be able to fire Kohn's gun if she could reach it, since it was out of its holster and already cocked. She also knew that if he opened his eyes even a second too soon, she would be dead. But she didn't care. She wouldn't let him hurt Tara, not without a fight.

Just before she reached up for the gun a single thought ran through her head. _I hope Juice knows how much I love him._ Then she rose up on her knees as fast as she could and grabbed the gun.

As soon as it was in her hand, she screamed. "Tara!"

The second that Tara flew backwards towards the end of the bed, Gracie aimed and fired at Kohn, sending a bullet directly into his stomach.

Kohn immediately rolled off the bed and onto the floor. He was grasping at his wound, trying to stop the blood from oozing out of his body. He glared at Gracie. "You stupid bitch!" He looked over at Tara, who was standing at the end of the bed, frozen. "Tara! Look what she did! Baby, please don't let me bleed out. Please don't let me die, Tara! Call an ambulance!"

Tara looked down at Gracie, who was still on her knees leaning against the bed for support, with the gun trained on Kohn. She went to the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors and then ran quickly back to Grace, cutting the zip ties from her hands and feet.

Tara didn't even try to hold back her tears. "Are you alright, Gracie Jane? Oh my god, are you ok?"

Gracie nodded, her eyes never leaving Kohn. She wanted to break down, to scream in agony, to cry in relief, to crawl into bed and drown in sleep until she awoke and found that the pain and terror of the last few hours had all been a horrible dream. But she couldn't just yet. She had to be strong for Tara. "I'm fine, Doc."

She lifted her gaze to make contact with Tara for just a moment and saw that the woman in front of her, standing in only her bra and underwear, was shaking uncontrollably and on the verge of going into shock.

Tara was trying to speak, but the words just weren't coming out. "Gracie…I…I…I don't know…I don't know what to do…"

Grace once again focused her aim on Kohn. "Knowles, you need to take a deep breath, ok? Just calm down. Put some clothes back on and then call Jax. He can't be that far away." A few moments passed and Tara had yet to move. "Get your cell and call Jax, Tara!"

Tara nodded, throwing on a long cardigan that was lying on the floor, and ran to the living room to get her phone.

When Tara went into the other room to call Jax, Gracie found herself staring in fascination at the blood flowing out of Kohn's abdomen. A voice deep inside her was telling her to go to him, to apply pressure and stop the bleeding, to call an ambulance and save his life…but she didn't move. She couldn't, because an even louder voice was screaming at her to let him die. _He was going to rape Tara. He was going to kill her. He was going to kill me. He was going to take me away from Juice when I only just found him. He'll never stop. As long as he's alive, we'll be in danger. He'll never stop._

Tara came back a few minutes later with a washcloth and bandages. She knelt down beside Grace and started wiping the blood away from her face. She glanced at Kohn, who was still on the floor trying to apply pressure to his own wound.

Her voice was still trembling, but the color was coming back to her cheeks. "Jax is on his way." Tara pressed against the cut on Grace's forehead and paused when she saw her wince. "Gracie, this cut needs sutured."

Gracie shook her head. "Just put a bandage on it now. I'll deal with it later."

Tara nodded. When Gracie's face was clean she moved to her red, swollen wrists and cleaned the areas where the zip ties had broken her skin, applying some small band-aids.

When Tara was done cleaning her up, Gracie finally stood. She swayed slightly from side to side, and Tara caught her before she fell over.

"Oh my God, Gracie. What did he do to you?"

Gracie shook her head as she tried to steady herself. "I'm ok. He hit me on the back of the head when I came home from work, probably with his gun. I woke up on the floor and I think I hit the coffee table on my way down." She reached up and gently felt her swollen cheeks. "He backhanded me a couple of times, but that's it. I have a mild concussion and I'm dehydrated, but I'm alright. Just give me a minute."

Gracie took a few deep breaths and her dizziness slowly started to subside. She felt Tara's hand pulling her out of the room. "Come on Gracie Jane. He's not going anywhere."

They went to the living room where Grace gave Tara the gun so that she could go the bathroom and change her clothes. Just as she came back out about two minutes later dressed in jeans and a gray long sleeved t-shirt, there was a loud knocking on the front door.

Tara ran to the door and opened it for Jax. He looked at Tara wearing next to nothing and then at Gracie's bruised and battered face. "Shit."

Tara was pacing back and forth in front of Jax, quickly losing the calm that she was trying desperately to hold on to. "I tried to stop him, Jax. I tried to talk to him. Gracie saved me. She shot him. Jax, she shot him. She had to."

Jax pulled her in close and wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair and whispering in her ear. He looked over at sweet, nice little Gracie whose face looked like it had been hit with a fucking truck. "Are you alright?"

Gracie just nodded. He went to her, keeping one arm around Tara's waist and putting his other around Gracie's shoulders. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "You did good, Gracie."

He looked back and forth between the two women and he was suddenly furious and filled with rage. "Where is he?"

Tara spoke softly. "In the bedroom."

Jax looked down at Tara's half naked body one more time and cursed silently in his head before grabbing Kohn's gun out of her hand and walking to the bedroom.

When he got there, he saw Kohn trying to crawl across the room.

Kohn looked up at Jax and he looked terrified. "Oh shit." He looked up at Tara. "You stupid bitch."

Jax started for Kohn, but Tara pulled him back. "Jax, she shot him. I didn't know what to do. What do we do? What do I do? I don't…I'm…"

He pulled the nearly hysterical woman into another hug and looked over at Grace who stood a couple feet away looking eerily calm. He knew that both of them were in shock. They were just showing it in different ways.

He looked at Tara as he spoke. "It's ok. We call this in. Gracie won't get charged. They're going to patch him up. He'll do a few years for assault…but then he's gonna be out, free to do this again."

Tara looked at Gracie and then back to Jax and started shaking her head and crying. "No, Jax! No! I can't! I can't go through this again!"

Jax held the only woman he ever loved in his arms and kissed her forehead.

Suddenly Kohn's voice rang out through the room. "You stupid whore!"

Something in Jax snapped at the sound of his voice. He pushed Tara towards Grace and took long purposeful strides over to the bleeding asshole on the floor.

"I guess once a biker slut always a biker…"

He never got to finish his sentence. Jax raised the gun and fired a single round into Kohn's head.

Jax was only vaguely aware of Tara screaming behind him as he went to the side of the bed and sat down. Tara and Gracie walked into the room together, both looking shell shocked and staring at Kohn's lifeless body. Tara sat down beside Jax and finally lost it completely, sobbing hysterically into his kutte as he wrapped his arm around her tightly.

Jax looked up at Gracie. "Grace, listen. I'll take care of this. I promise, but there's a guy dying at the clubhouse right now, a friend of the club. He needs Tara's medical kit or he's not going to make it. There's shit going down that I can't talk about, Gracie, but it's fucking bad. If I don't get back there soon, people are going to come looking for me, and we can't let that happen. No one else can know about this. Gracie, I have to…"

"I'll go."

Jax looked at her, confused. "What?"

Grace looked down at him, her eyes clearer than they were a few moments ago. "I'll take the supplies to the clubhouse. You can't leave her like this. You can't leave her with…him. She needs you. Please, Jax. Stay with her. I'll go."

He hesitated for a few seconds before nodding his head. "Yeah, alright. Just…be careful, ok?" Gracie turned to leave the room but stopped when he called out her name once more. "Grace, you can't tell anyone about this."

She nodded and was almost out the door when Jax called out, "Not even Juice, Gracie."

She turned towards Jax and glared, her eyes hard and her voice steady. "I'll lie to everyone else, Jax, but I will not lie to him."

Jax sighed and reluctantly nodded. "Alright."

Gracie walked into the living room, grabbing the medical kit that Jax had left on the sofa. She got the keys to the Cutlass, slipped on her shoes, and headed outside. When she got in the car, she rested her hands on the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths. Her shaking hands fumbled with the keys for just a moment before she was able to start the car. Her mind was blank and her body numb as she drove out of her driveway on autopilot, towards the clubhouse, and into the night.

**Please review!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thanks again for the reviews and follows! I appreciate your feedback more than you know. I got some reviews from readers pleading with me to never abandon this story, so I wanted take a moment to put your lovely minds at ease. Unless Theo Rossi shows up on my doorstep and asks me to run away with him, which unfortunately seems very unlikely, I promise I will never abandon this fic. I have a lot more in store for Juice and Grace and it will be a hot minute before I end their story, so I hope you guys are in it for the long haul :) **

**This chapter made me a little emotional, but I loved writing it. It's another **_**really**_** long one. Hope you like it…**

Chapter 22

Gracie pulled into the TM lot and parked the car. Before opening the door, she pulled down the visor to look at her face. Both of her cheeks were an ugly shade of purple, her bottom lip was swollen, the whites of her eyes were still red from hours of crying, and the bandage that Tara had placed on her forehead was already saturated with blood. _Oh shit, I look awful. _She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. The details of the story she had come up with ran through her mind one more time before she finally climbed out of the cutlass and walked towards the clubhouse.

She placed her hand on the door handle, pausing to take a deep breath and rid herself of the dizziness that was causing her throbbing head to spin. _You can do this, Anderson. You can do this._ After just one more moment of hesitation, she straightened her shoulders and walked into the clubhouse.

Gracie was completely unprepared for the scene in front of her. It looked like the base camp in a warzone. Kip and Bobby were at the bar, each filling stacks of clips with ammo. Piney and Opie were standing over the pool table assembling what looked like a huge pile of assault rifles. Screams of agony could be heard coming from the room behind the big double doors and Tig, Clay and a woman that could only be Gemma Teller-Morrow were sitting at a table deep in conversation, all with drawn, angry expressions on their faces.

Tig was the first one to notice her standing by the door, wide-eyed and frozen.

He got up from the table and walked in her direction. "Hey Red, this isn't a good time. You can't be here right…"

His words caught in his throat when he got a glimpse of her face. "Fuck, doll. What the hell happened to you? Are you alright?"

Gracie just nodded. "I, uh…sorry for, um, bothering you guys. Jax said you needed some surgical supplies, so I brought them over." She gestured to the bag hung over her shoulder.

Tig was just about to say something, but was interrupted when Gemma abruptly stood from the table. "And who the hell are you?"

Gracie looked up at Tig, seeing him nod, before walking over to the table. "I'm Grace Anderson. I'm…"

Clay stood up and placed a hand on Gemma's shoulder. "Easy, baby. She's Juice's old lady."

Gemma raised an eyebrow and looked skeptically at the pretty little redhead who looked like she'd gotten the shit beat out of her. Clay had told her that Juicey had gotten himself a girl and about how she had unknowingly helped out with the whole Oswald situation. "This is the nurse?"

Clay just nodded. Gemma then looked back at Gracie. "So you're Tara's friend, right?"

Grace nodded. "Yes, I am."

Gemma walked over to her with her hands on her hips, looking the new girl over from head to toe. "So Grace Anderson, where the fuck is my son?"

Gracie swallowed and tried to control the tremble in her voice. "He's at my house with Tara. They said they had some things to talk about, that it might take a while, so he asked me to bring over the medical kit."

Gemma looked over at Tig and Clay and threw her hands up in the air. "Are you kidding me? With all the shit we have going on right now, he abandons us for some pussy?"

Tig walked over to say something to Clay just as the two large double doors to the other room swung open. Chibs walked out looking furious and exhausted, his hands and forearms covered in blood. "Where the fuck is Jax with those surgical tools?"

Gracie walked towards him, staring at his crimson hands. "I have them Chibs. Jax is, uh, tied up right now. I'm sorry it took so long."

Chibs looked at Gracie and the color drained from his face. He went to reach for her bruised cheeks but paused when he realized his fingers were still covered in blood. She looked down at the floor, unable to meet the intensity of his gaze. He looked so worried.

His voice was soft and quiet. "Jesus fucking Christ, Grace. What the hell happened to you, love?"

At this point, the other Sons had noticed Gracie's presence and were slowly gathering around her. Opie and Bobby's faces were full of concern, whereas Kip and Piney just looked pissed. They surrounded her, all asking what happened and if she was alright.

Gracie nodded and gave them all a weak smile. "It looks worse than it is. I was at work today and a patient with dementia came into the ER. He was confused and scared, and he became a little combative. He was on me really fast…he, uh, got in a few hits before anyone could pull him off. It's really no big deal."

Chibs shook his head as he stared at her normally beautiful face, now marred with blood and bruises. "That's more than a few hits, lass."

Grace shrugged her shoulders and let out a nervous laugh. "It's one of the curses of being so pale. I bruise really easily. Really guys, I'm fine. Thanks though, for worrying. It's really sweet of you."

After a moment, Opie went back to the pool table. Piney and Bobby both gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking away, and then Kip wrapped her in a hug before heading back to the bar.

Only Chibs remained in front of her, his expression an equal mix of concern and anger. He leaned forward and gently kissed her on the forehead. "You're a terrible liar, sweet girl."

He could see the way she was fighting for control of her emotions, her hands in tight fists at her sides and her eyes desperately trying to blink away tears.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Promise me you'll tell Juice what happened…the truth."

She pulled back slightly, offering him a small, grateful smile and nodding. Her voice was trembling. "I will. I promise."

Chibs nodded back and sighed in relief. He didn't know who hurt Gracie, but he knew that whoever the prick was, he was going to die. It didn't take a genius to see that Juicey was completely in love with Grace and would destroy anyone that hurt her. And if he didn't, the rest of the Sons would. Gracie was an old lady now. She was family, and no one hurts their family.

Chibs nodded his head towards the other room and whispered. "Your old man is in there, and he's going to lose his mind when he sees you."

Gracie quickly wiped a single tear away with the back of her hand. "I know."

Just then Gemma walked over and looked up at Chibs. "How's the Irishman?"

Chibs shook his head. "Really fucking bad, Gem. He's gonna die if we can't stop that bleeding and get his infection under control." He looked over at Grace. "Do you think you can help me, love? This shite is way beyond my capabilities."

Gracie nodded. "Of course."

Gracie started walking with Chibs towards the large black doors but was pulled back hard when Gemma grabbed her arm. "Listen little girl. Anything you see tonight never leaves these walls. You never say a word to anyone, do you hear me?"

Gracie met the woman's glare and poured whatever strength she had left into her words. "I would never do anything to hurt Juice or anyone he cares about. I won't say a word."

Gemma stared her down for a few more moments before nodding and releasing her arm. Gracie went to the double doors where Chibs was waiting for her. When she was in front of him he looked at her fondly for a moment before wrapping her up in his arms. "Everything will be alright, love."

She couldn't stop one more tear from escaping. Gracie pulled back and nodded at the man in front of her, a man that was quickly becoming a true friend and one of her favorite people in the world. She leaned up and kissed Chibs on the cheek. "Thank you."

* * *

When Chibs walked into the chapel, Juice looked over to him and sighed. "What the fuck are we doing here, man? He's getting worse and I don't know how much longer…"

Whatever he was thinking about, whatever fucking thought was going through his mind, was gone the second Chibs stepped to the side and revealed the girl behind him. Everything else in the room faded away, and the only thing that Juice could see was Grace. His beautiful Gracie. The nicest person in the world, the most important thing in his life, the woman he loved more than anything. His beautiful Gracie…bruised and battered and beaten.

The moment that Gracie saw the expression on Juice's face, a long forgotten image of her father passed through her mind. She suddenly remembered the exact look on her Dad's face the night that he told her that her mother had died. It was the only time in her life that she had seen someone in complete and utter anguish…until now.

Juice didn't say a word. He couldn't. He couldn't acknowledge that this fucking nightmare was really happening. He ignored the bile rising in his throat, ignored the tremors running through him causing his entire body to shake with rage, he ignored the feeling of helplessness that threatened to consume him. _This isn't real. This is just a bad fucking dream. No one would ever hurt Gracie._

Silent tears streamed down her face. She was so quiet, so fucking scared. "Juice…"

The sound of her voice shattered him. "Fuck, Gracie, no…no…"

She quickly crossed the small distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, clinging to his kutte and burying her head in his chest. It killed her to see him like this, hurting for her. She wanted to comfort him, make all his pain go away.

She kissed his neck and whispered in his ear. "It's ok, baby. Everything's ok now. I'm alright. I'm fine, baby, please. It's ok."

Juice wrapped his one free arm around her shoulders, his other hand still deep in Cameron Hayes's bullet wound. He held her close for a few seconds before pulling back and using his hand to lift Gracie's chin so that he could see the extent of the damage. He knew without her saying a word that it was Kohn, that fucking piece of shit ATF agent, who had done this to her.

He placed his trembling fingers on Gracie's swollen cheek, unable to stop his hand from shaking. "What did he do to you, sweetheart?"

Chibs coughed loudly causing them both to look in his direction. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Juice. "Apparently our Gracie was attacked by a confused elderly man at the hospital today while she was working."

Juice looked at Gracie, completely lost. She lifted her hands to caress his face and then leaned in so that her forehead was resting against his own. She whispered just loud enough for him to hear. "I promise I'll tell you what happened, but not here. Not now. Please."

He continued to just stare at her for a few moments before finally nodding. She rose up slightly on her toes and kissed him softly. "I love you, Juice."

He placed his hand on the back of her neck, pulling her close again for one more small kiss. "I fucking love you, Gracie."

She slowly pulled away, wiping her tear soaked face on her sleeve before turning towards Chibs. "So what do we have here?"

Chibs looked down at the man lying on the redwood table. "This is Cameron, a friend of the club. He took a bullet tonight. I was able to dig it out, but I think it nicked his femoral artery. Juicey boy's fingers are the only thing keeping him from bleeding out and he's so sick already I'm afraid he's going septic."

Gracie stared down at the man covered in blood and sweat, moaning in agony. "Why isn't he at the hospital?"

Chibs just shook his head. "No hospitals, love. No cops."

She ran her hand through her hair and nodded. She quickly took Tara's medical bag off her shoulder and unzipped it, taking inventory of the contents. She walked over to Cameron and knelt down so that she could look at his face.

Any weakness or fear faded away instantly. This was something that she could handle. This was something she knew how to do. She wasn't a victim anymore. She was a nurse saving her patient.

She offered a small smile to the man, running her hand comfortingly over his head. "Hi Cameron. I'm Grace. I'm going to try and help you, alright?"

Cameron barely managed a grin. He spoke through gritted teeth. "Thank you, lass."

Just then, Gemma Teller came walking through the double doors. "How's it going in here?"

Gracie slid on a pair of gloves and then turned and handed a pair to Gemma. "It's good you're here. Put these on and go over to the other side of the table. I'm going to need your help."

Gemma looked at the younger woman incredulously. No one ever told her what to do. "You sure you know what you're doing, sweetheart? I mean, you're just a nurse."

Gracie rested her hands on the redwood table and took a deep breath before meeting Gemma's gaze. Her voice was calm but resolved. "Mrs. Morrow, I worked in a downtown Chicago emergency room for years. I am more than familiar with gunshot wounds. I have never personally done this procedure, but I have assisted with it more times than I can count. And unless you have another medical professional hiding somewhere in the clubhouse right now, it looks like I'm the best you've got. So are you going to help me or not?"

Gemma's eyes widened in surprise and she found herself smirking. _Looks like the little nurse has a backbone. _"Fine. What do you need?"

Gracie looked over at Chibs. "Stand by his shoulders and hold him down. This is going to hurt and I don't have any lidocaine."

She looked up at Juice who had never once taken his eyes off of her. "Baby, I'm going to count to three, and the moment I do, I want you to take your fingers out of the wound."

Juice just stared at her blankly. Her voice softened as she looked at the man she loved, still looking so broken and lost. "Baby, did you hear me?"

After a few seconds Juice nodded. "Count of three. Got it."

Gracie turned back towards Gemma who was now standing on the opposite side of the table. She handed her a roll of gauze. "As soon as Juice takes his fingers out, I want you to stuff the gauze down into the bullet hole, alright?"

Gemma looked down at Cameron and then back to Gracie, nodding.

Grace took the long surgical clamps from Tara's bag and held them in her hand. She took one more look at the people around her before taking a big deep breath and focusing her eyes on Cameron's wound. "Ok, Juice. 1…2…3"

The moment Juice removed his hand, a huge stream of blood sprayed from the bullet hole. Gracie shouted. "Gemma, now!"

Gemma stuffed the gauze down at the same time as Gracie thrust the clamps into the wound, tightening the tools and instantly stopping the blood loss.

Juice looked at her in wonder. He was always so fucking proud of her. "Holy shit, Gracie. You did it."

Gracie set the clamps on the table and took the gauze away from Gemma to finish packing the wound. She looked at Juice. "Go wash up, baby. I'll just be a few more minutes."

Juice shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."

She gave him a sad smile and sighed. "Go on. I'm fine. I'm not going anywhere."

Juice looked down at his blood stained hand and reluctantly turned to walk out of the room so he could clean himself up. But before he could make it out of the room, he heard Gracie call his name. He turned around to see that her smile had slightly widened.

"You did really great tonight, Juice. You helped save his life."

Juice tried to return her smile, but he just couldn't. He nodded his head instead. "Thanks sweetheart."

Gemma watched the interaction between Juice and Grace, begrudgingly acknowledging that the new girl seemed to be good for the young man.

Gemma peeled the gloves off of her hands and looked at Grace. "That was really sweet…what you just said to Juice." The nurse looked up at her and shrugged her shoulders. "I mean it. That guy's not used to good feedback."

Gracie raised her eyes to meet Gemma's. "He should be. He deserves it."

Before Gemma could respond, Gracie took off her own gloves and walked over to Cameron, kneeling down again so that she could see his face. "We stopped the bleeding. You're going to be alright."

The man sighed in exhaustion, on the verge of passing out. "Thank you, Doc."

Gracie just shook her head. "I'm not a doctor, Cameron." She raised her eyes to look at Gemma. "I'm just a nurse." And then Gracie saw a small approving smile pass over Gemma's face.

Gracie looked away when she felt Chibs behind her, pulling her up from the ground. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. "You're not just a nurse, love. You're an angel. Thanks for helping us."

She pulled away and held his hand. "You're welcome."

She gave Chibs the antibiotics that were in Tara's bag, instructing him on how to give the medication as well as how to change the dressing she had just applied.

By the time she was finished, Juice was back in the chapel. He walked over to Grace without saying a word, grabbing her hand and leading her out the double doors, back through the clubhouse, and down the hallway to his dorm.

Gracie could feel the weight of the day crushing her with every step she took. Now that she had helped save Cameron and once again had nothing else to focus on, her thoughts fell back to the horror she had experienced that night. She knew she was on the edge, close to losing it, and prayed that she could make it to wherever Juice was taking her before she finally broke down.

Juice opened the door to his dorm and gently guided Gracie inside. She walked to the middle of the room and just stood there, staring at the wall. He shut the door and carefully approached her. "Gracie? Sweetheart?"

When she heard his voice she turned around and looked into his beautiful brown eyes, and when she realized that they were at last alone, she finally allowed herself to fall apart. She threw her arms around Juice's neck, buried her face against his chest, and sobbed. All of her fear, all of her pain, all of the terror came out as a hysterical, mournful cry that she had no control over. The intensity and the anguish she had experienced over the last several hours had finally crashed down on her, and she felt like she was drowning.

She could feel the strength leaving her body, her legs suddenly buckling beneath of her. The only thing that kept her from hitting the floor were Juice's arms wrapped tightly around her waist, keeping her anchored against him.

After god knows how long, she finally felt her tears start to subside. She looked up at Juice and realized that they were now seated on the side of his bed, although she had no idea how they had gotten there. When she looked into his eyes, she saw that at some point, Juice had started crying too, and it broke her heart all over again.

He placed his hands on the side of her face and ran his thumbs along her cheekbones, wiping away the tears on her face. "Tell me, Grace."

She closed her eyes, unable to stand the sadness on his face. "When I got home from work, Kohn was waiting in the house. He hit me on the back of the head and I fell on the floor. That's how I got the cut on my head. He tied me up and…" She bit her swollen lip and tried unsuccessfully to stop a fresh wave of tears from falling. "He tied me up and started screaming at me about how I ruined his relationship with Tara, how I killed his baby, how I was finally get what I had coming to me. Then he started hitting me. He just…he kept hitting me over and over and over again. And when I started crying he said he was sick of hearing the sound of my voice, so he put duct tape over my mouth and dragged me into Tara's closet."

She opened her eyes and saw that the sadness that was present in Juice's eyes had been replaced with pure, unadulterated rage. She swallowed the lump in her throat and went on. "Jax gave Tara a ride home from work. Kohn waited until Jax was gone before attacking Tara. He had…he had a gun to my head. He wanted to kill me, but Tara convinced him not to. She pretended that she wanted to fuck him, and when he got undressed and put the gun on the table, I…"

She hung her head and buried her face in her hands. She felt Juice kiss her forehead and lean down to her ear. "You what, Gracie?"

She sobbed into her hands. "I crawled over to the table when Tara distracted him, and grabbed his gun. I shot him." She started choking on her tears and could barely breathe she was crying so hard. "Oh god, Juice. I shot someone. I fucking shot someone."

Juice put his arms around her, holding her close and rocking her back and forth. When she started to calm down, he pushed her to continue. He had to know everything. "Then what happened, sweetheart?"

She took a deep breath and tried to wipe her tears away. "He wasn't dead. I shot him in the stomach. He was bleeding all over. Tara didn't know what to do, so I told her to call Jax. He got there a few minutes later and when he saw us, what Kohn had done, he lost it. He heard Kohn call Tara a whore and then he just walked into the bedroom and he…he shot him in the head."

Juice squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth together so tightly he thought he was going to break them. He was so fucking angry…angry at Kohn for putting Gracie through hell, angry at Tara for dating the guy in the first place, angry at Jax for killing Kohn before he had a chance to tear the fucker apart, but mostly he was angry at himself for not protecting the one person in the world that meant everything to him.

They were interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. Juice got up to open it and saw Chibs on the other side holding a first aid kit. "I'm sorry to bother you boyo, but I noticed Gracie's bandage earlier, and I'm guessing that whatever is under it needs stitched up. I can do it for her if you want. I can do it now, or I can come back…"

Juice interrupted him. "No, do it now. I gotta go take care of something."

"What?"

Both men looked over to the bed at the mess of a woman sitting on the edge. She looked at Juice, frantic, confused, and heartbroken. "You're leaving? No. Don't, please. Please don't leave me."

Juice swore he could feel his heart shattering in a million pieces at the sound of her pleas. He hated leaving her, but he knew that if he didn't get out of that room, he was going to completely lose his shit, and he didn't want to do that in front of Gracie. He was angry…so fucking angry, and it was taking everything he had not to explode. He walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her on the floor beside the bed.

He tried to hide the fury in his voice. "Sweetheart, I won't be gone long. I promise. Chibs is going to stitch you up, ok? I just…I just have to go." He leaned in and kissed her hard before standing up and walking over to Chibs. "Can you stay with her until I get back? Please?"

Chibs placed his hand on Juice's shoulder and squeezed. "You got it, brother."

Juice walked straight out of the dorm, his head spinning. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. He was blinded with an out of control rage that he had no fucking idea what to do with. He made it to the bar before letting out a low, feral growl. He picked up the closest thing he could find, a full bottle of whiskey, and threw it against the wall. He then went over to the wall, now dripping with Jack Daniels, and started hitting it with his fist as hard as he could. He didn't feel any pain, didn't hear any of the people around him screaming for him to stop. He just kept punching the wall, imagining that it was the asshole that hurt his girl.

He had no idea how many punches he threw before Opie wrapped him in a bear hug from behind and pulled him back. After a couple minutes, he started to come out of his trance, feeling his heart rate slow down and his vision come back into focus. He looked at the hole he had punched through the wall and then down at his bleeding knuckles.

Opie relaxed his hold when Juice was no longer thrashing and swinging. "Jesus, Juice. What the fuck, man?"

Juice pulled away from Opie and straightened his shirt and kutte. He looked up to see everyone in the clubhouse staring at him with wide eyes and stunned expressions. He didn't acknowledge any of them. He just walked outside to the parking lot and climbed into Tara's cutlass, where Gracie had left the keys in the ignition. He started the engine and pulled out of the lot, heading straight for Gracie's house.

* * *

Gracie sat on Juice's bed and listened in horror at the commotion going on in the clubhouse. She knew that Juice was losing it because of her. She wanted to run to him, to comfort him and tell him that she was alright, that everything was going to be ok, but she just sat there, frozen. Because she wasn't alright and she didn't know if everything would be ok. And she knew that he would see right through her if she tried to tell him otherwise.

Chibs walked over to her and sat down. He spoke softly to her as he prepared what he would need to stitch up her cut. "Juicey will be just fine, love. Don't you worry. He just loves you too much to let you see him like that. He'll deal with his shit and he'll come back to you just fine."

Gracie just nodded, too exhausted to say another word. Chibs removed her bloody bandage and cleaned off her cut with some alcohol and a fresh piece of gauze. When he started to sew it shut, he saw her wince and he started talking to try and distract her from the pain.

Chibs told her stories about growing up in Glasgow; about the food his mother would make him after school and the way that his sister would torment him. He told her about learning to ride a motorcycle, getting arrested for the first time, and moving to Ireland. Finally he told her about meeting a beautiful, passionate young woman named Fiona.

When he had tied the last stitch, he placed a clean bandage over her cut. He moved Gracie so that she was sitting up against the headboard. He removed her shoes and tucked her legs under the covers. He sat back down beside of her and she rested her still aching head on his shoulder. She wanted to sleep so badly but was unable to drift away, still unable to shake the events from the night.

Chibs reached down and held her hand. His voice was soothing and warm. "Now, love. Let me tell you a story about a beautiful little girl named Kerrianne."

He had no idea why he was talking to Grace about his family. He never talked about them to anyone. It was just too painful. But as he looked down at the sweet little auburn haired beauty at his side, he realized how fond he had grown of her in the short time he'd known her. She was smart and kind and good and loyal…she was the woman that he hoped his Kerrianne would grow up to become.

When he felt her breathing even out, he looked down to see that Grace had finally fallen asleep. He leaned his head back against the headboard and sighed, praying that Juice was able to kill the man that had hurt this sweet girl, and praying that one day he would get the chance to destroy the man who robbed him of his own precious family.

* * *

Juice walked to the house and banged on the front door. Jax opened it a few seconds later, his skin dripping in sweat and his clothes covered in blood. He walked into the living room and Jax quickly locked the door behind him.

Jax looked over at Juice. "I figured you'd show up tonight."

Juice shoved his hands in the front of his kutte. "Where is he?"

Jax ran a hand threw his hair. "The garage."

Juice walked to Tara's bedroom and quietly opened the door. The lights were turned off and Tara was sleeping, but he was still able to see the large blood stains on the carpet.

He closed the door and walked over to Jax. "What now, man?"

Jax sighed. "I already wrapped him in a tarp and tied it up. I just need to get rid of him. I'll take care of the carpet and shit tomorrow."

Juice nodded. "I brought Tara's car back. Let's get him in the trunk and take him out to the woods."

Juice started for the car but Jax put a hand out, stilling him. "You don't have to go with me, Juicey."

Juice just stared back at his VP. "Yes I do."

Jax just nodded and dropped his hand. The two men walked outside, Juice going to the car to back it into the garage and Jax going to get Kohn's body. When the car was backed in and out of sight, they opened the trunk and hoisted the body into the back along with some shovels and lighter fluid.

Juice got back into the driver's seat with Jax climbing in beside him. He put the key in the ignition, but paused before turning over the engine. He looked over at Jax and sighed. "I just gotta say brother…thank you for being there for Gracie tonight, for saving her."

Jax just shook his head. "I didn't do shit, bro. Gracie saved them. Tara told me that Gracie had the chance to run away, but she didn't. She risked her life to keep that fucker from raping Tara. I'm going to owe your girl for the rest of my life, man."

Juice just nodded before leaning his head down into his hands. Part of him was furious with Gracie that she didn't run away and save herself, but at the same time he was so fucking proud of her. He tried to shake off his conflicting, overwhelming emotions and focus on the shit they had to do. He started the car and slowly pulled out of the driveway.

The two men walked deep into Chigger Woods where they dug a trench and threw Kohn's body down into the dirt. Jax doused it in lighter fluid and was just about to throw in the match when Juice stopped him. "Let me do it. You got to kill the fucker. I want to make him burn."

Jax nodded, handing the matches to Juice. He struck one and stared at it for a moment before dropping it into the trench and watching what was left of Special Agent Joshua Kohn go up in flames.

* * *

Juice opened the door to his dorm room and couldn't help but grin at the sight in front of him. Chibs, his closest friend, was sitting up in bed reading a Harley magazine that had been on his nightstand, with Gracie Jane sleeping soundly, her head resting on his shoulder. His brother had kept his promise and not left her alone.

Chibs got up carefully without waking Grace and walked over to Juice. "Did you handle whatever happened to her?"

Juice just nodded. "Thanks for staying with her."

Chibs hugged Juice tightly and patted his back. "Anytime, lad. She has a concussion. You should probably wake her up for a while now. And don't let her sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time." He pulled back to look at Gracie one more time before looking back at Juice. "She's a good girl, Juicey. And she loves you like crazy."

Juice swallowed the lump in his throat. "I know she does. Thanks again."

After Chibs walked out, Juice closed the door and locked it behind him. He walked over to the bed and sat down, reaching out and touching Gracie's cheek. "Sweetheart, wake up. I'm back."

Gracie's eyes fluttered open, and as soon as she realized that Juice was back, sitting in front of her, she wrapped herself around him, holding him tightly. "I was so worried, baby. Where did you go?"

Juice grabbed both of her hands, bringing them to his lips and kissing them. "I went to see Jax. It's all over sweetheart. You don't have to worry about it anymore."

She bit her lip and nodded, knowing that Juice didn't want her to ask any more questions. She looked down at his hands holding her own and saw his bruised, bloody knuckles. "Jesus baby, your hand."

Juice shook his head and kissed her. "I'm fine." He looked down at the state his girl was in. The bandage on her forehead looked clean, but everything else was filthy. Her jeans were splattered with Cameron Hayes's blood and her face, hair, and shirt were stained red from her own injuries. He got up off the bed and pulled her up to stand. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's clean you up."

He led her into the small bathroom attached to his dorm and reached into the shower, turning it on to get the water hot. He helped Gracie take off all of her clothes and fought the urge to put another hole through the wall when he saw the bruises around her wrists and ankles. He quickly undressed himself and they both stepped into the shower.

He took his time washing every inch of Gracie's gorgeous body, gently rubbing his hands over anything bruised or swollen. He washed her hair, careful to avoid the cut on her forehead and knot on the back of her scalp. He was standing behind her, washing her back, when he saw her body start to shake with fresh sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest, holding her close and whispering in her ear. "What sweetheart? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Gracie couldn't talk, she was crying so hard. She just shook her head and let her cries rack her body.

Juice turned her around and placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "Sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong."

She closed her eyes as a look of shame crossed her face. "I killed him."

Juice kissed her and shook his head. "No you didn't Gracie, Jax…

"No, Juice. I killed him. I may not have put that bullet in his head, but I knew what was going to happen to Kohn the moment that I told Tara to call Jax. She was already in shock, Juice. I told her to call Jax. Not the police, not an ambulance. She would have done whatever I told her to do and I told her to call Jax…because I knew in my heart what he would do. Oh god Juice, I killed someone."

His heart was breaking for the woman in his arms. He just held her close, telling her how much he loved her, kissing her tears away as they fell.

After a few minutes she opened her eyes and looked at him with a sadness that he had never seen before. Her voice was shaking and barely more than a whisper. "Am I…am I a bad person?"

He blinked away his own tears, shaking his head. "You're not a bad person, Gracie. You protected Tara, you did what you had to do to survive. You're a good person. You're the best person I've ever known."

He turned off the water and guided Gracie out of the shower, wrapping her up in one of his towels. They both dried off and then climbed into bed, neither one bothering with any clothes.

Juice pulled Gracie's naked body against his chest, her head resting on one arm while his other was wrapped tightly around her waist. He kissed her neck and was about to tell her goodnight, when he felt her start to rub her ass up against his cock.

He grabbed her hip to still her movements. "What are you doing, sweetheart?"

Gracie moved her hand so that it rested on the one he had holding her hip. She held his hand and moved it up to her lips, kissing the tips of his fingers before placing it on one of her breasts. She pushed harder against him and whimpered when his fingers brushed her nipple.

Juice buried his face in her hair, fighting for control, his traitorous body already reacting to the feel of her skin and the sexy as hell sounds that she was making. He started to rub his now hardened cock against her, even though he knew that he should stop.

His voice was strained with desire. "We can't Gracie. I don't want to hurt you."

She twisted her upper body so that her shoulders were almost flat on the bed and she was staring up at Juice's face. "You could never hurt me."

She placed her hands on the back of his neck and pulled his lips to hers, kissing him with all the love she had in her heart and deepening it the moment she felt him give into her.

Juice groaned as he tasted Gracie's tongue. He moved his hand down her body and between her thighs, finding her clit and moving his fingers in slow circles through her already wet folds.

Gracie sighed, biting her lip and pushing her ass even harder against his throbbing dick. "Oh fuck, baby, that feels so good."

He moved his lips from her mouth, over her jaw, and down the column of her neck. "You gotta tell me when to stop, Gracie Jane. I'm not going to be able to do it on my own."

Gracie was already panting, her nipples rock hard and her thighs soaked from her own juices. "Please don't stop, Juice. Please, I need you." She grabbed his face and pulled him close, staring into his beautiful eyes. "Fuck me, baby. I need you inside me. Make it all go away, please." She then turned back on her side facing away from him, gripping her pillow and moaning.

Juice didn't even think about it. He took his hand away from her pussy, grabbing her thigh and lifting it slightly closer to her body. Still lying behind her, he ran the tip of his cock through her slick, wet heat before thrusting up into her in one smooth movement.

They both moaned as soon as he was buried deep inside her. Juice couldn't believe how wet she was. His dick was already drenched and her pussy was so tight he felt like he was caught in a fucking vice. His thrusts were slow and deep, Gracie's body pushing up against him with every move he made. He moved his hand back between her legs and rubbed her swollen clit as he continued to gently slide in and out of her.

It didn't take long for Gracie to feel the tightening in her abdomen, signaling that she was on the verge of exploding. She reached her hand up and grasped her nipple, pulling hard.

Juice bit down onto her shoulder when he felt Gracie tightening and shaking around him, her cries of pleasure muffled by her pillow. His thrusts became faster and deeper and within moments he came hard, spilling his seed inside of her and groaning her name against her hair.

He pulled Gracie back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He was still inside of her, unwilling to separate himself from her in any way.

He felt his chest tighten when her small, tired voice spoke through the darkness. "Please don't leave me, Juice."

He buried his face in her hair, inhaling her scent, and somehow pulled her even closer. "I love you, Gracie Jane. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. And I swear I'll never leave you again."

**As always, please review.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I think this is the first time I've gone more than a week without a new chapter. I'll try not to let it happen again, and I swear I'm already working on the next one. Thank you again for the reviews on the last chapter. You have no idea how happy I am that you all love this story as much as I do. **

**This chapter is a bit of a filler, and a lot lighter and fluffier than the last few. I thought we could all use a little break from the serious stuff before we get to the end of season 1. Hope you like** **it and please review!**

Chapter 23

Gracie woke up in Juice's bed, still wrapped tightly in his arms. Her sleep had been peaceful except for the few times that Juice had woken her because of her concussion. She felt his warm breath on her neck and knew he was finally asleep. _He must be exhausted._ She had a feeling that the man beside her didn't sleep at all, too worried about her to ever let himself rest.

She carefully tried to lift the arm that was holding her down, only to have it tighten and pull her closer.

She turned her head back towards Juice and whispered. "Baby, I need to get up."

He was barely awake, his voice muffled by his pillow. "No, you don't. Go back to sleep."

Gracie smiled and laughed softly. "Baby, I have to go to the bathroom."

Juice groaned before loosening his hold and letting her get up. "Fine, but come right back when you're done."

Gracie climbed out of the bed and walked to his small bathroom. "Yes, sir."

When she went to the sink and looked at her face in the mirror, she sighed. The swelling had gone down, but her bruises were still there. She tentatively touched the sutures on her forehead. It was definitely going to scar. _Oh well. I guess it's finally time to try bangs._

She stared at her reflection as the events from the previous night inevitably replayed in her mind. After talking to Juice throughout the night and slowly getting over the initial shock, she finally felt at peace with what she had done. The simple truth was that Kohn had to die if she and Tara were ever going to be safe. She would always hate that she had been forced into that position, but Kohn made his own choices and had to deal with the consequences. She hadn't done anything wrong. Gracie had just done what she had to do in order to protect herself and her family.

She washed her face and used some of Juice's mouthwash before stepping out of the bathroom. When she looked back at the bed, she saw that he had already fallen back to sleep. She quietly crept closer to the man she loved more than anything and smiled. He was still turned on his side, the covers tucked snugly around his shoulders, and he was squeezing the pillow that Gracie had been using in his arms like it was a teddy bear. _God, he's so fucking cute._ She thought about climbing back into bed like he'd asked, but she didn't want to wake him again.

Gracie took a moment to look around the small dorm room, since she was in too much of an emotional upheaval to notice it the night before. There was nothing anywhere that would indicate that it belonged to Juice except for a Call of Duty poster mixed in with all the ones of half-naked women and Harleys. She looked down at the floor and saw her clothes from the previous night, dirty and blood stained, and couldn't bear the thought of putting them back on. She went to the small dresser and opened some drawers. She slipped on a pair of Juice's boxers, rolling them at the waist so they would stay up, and then put on a black t-shirt that said REAPER CREW across the front. She tried to tame the waves in her hair, but realized that with her face still looking the way it did, attempting to not look like a mess was kind of pointless. She tip toed to the door and walked out to the hallway, closing it gently behind her.

* * *

Gracie walked into the main room at the clubhouse and saw Chibs, Bobby, Piney, and Gemma sitting around the bar drinking coffee, with Kip on the other side refilling everyone's cups.

She bit her lip and walked over to them, crossing her arms over her chest. "Um, good morning."

Everyone looked up and smiled, even Gemma. Chibs got up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "How are you feeling, love?"

Gracie returned his hug and smiled. "Much better. Thanks for stitching me up."

Chibs just winked. "Just don't make a habit of needing my services, lass. Your face is too pretty for scars."

She grinned and shook her head. She placed one of her hands on his cheek and ran her thumb over one of his scars. "So is yours, but they somehow just make you more handsome."

Chibs smiled softly before placing his hand on her back and leading Grace over to a bar stool situated between himself and Gemma. Everyone said good morning while Kip poured her a cup of coffee and Bobby slid a plate of muffins down in front of her.

She looked up at Chibs. "So, how's Cameron doing?"

He grinned. "Beautiful, love. His fever's gone and he's a lot more alert. He even ate some breakfast this morning. We should be able to get him out of here in a couple of days. You saved his life, Grace."

Chibs could see Gracie blush in spite of the bruises still lingering on her cheeks. She shrugged her shoulders. "Anybody with the training could have done what I did. I just happened to be the one here."

Piney looked over at Gracie. "That's exactly right, sweetheart. You were _here_…here for the club. You helped us and we won't forget it."

Gracie just offered the older man a small smile before looking down at her coffee. She didn't really know what to say. She had never quite learned to take a compliment without feeling uncomfortable.

She looked down at the blueberry muffins in front of her and realized how hungry she was. She hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday at work. She picked one up and took a huge bite, completely unable to control the groan that came out of her mouth as soon as she tasted it.

She looked up at Bobby and grinned. "Is it too late to date you instead of Juice? Because I would so marry you for these muffins."

Bobby chuckled. "All the hot women just want me for my body and my baked goods."

The laughter was just dying down when the clubhouse doors opened and in walked Clay, Tig, and Jax. Gemma immediately got up and walked over to Clay while Bobby and Chibs both stood up and went to talk to Tig.

Jax ignored the dirty look his mom was giving him as he walked straight over to Gracie. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Hey, darlin'. Come back with me to my dorm a minute so we can talk."

Gracie nodded. She followed Jax down the hall, past Juice's room, to the very last dorm. He unlocked the door and held it open for her to walk through. She barely had time to turn around before Jax pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

After a few seconds, he pulled away and looked at Gracie's face. "Are you alright?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, I am." Jax raised his eyebrows and gave her a look that obviously showed he didn't believe her. "Really, I'm fine. I wasn't...I was pretty bad last night, actually. But I talked to Juice about everything, and I promise I'm ok now. How's Tara?"

He hung his head and sighed. "She's a fucking mess, although she's insisting on going to work today."

Gracie's jaw dropped open. "What? What the hell is she thinking?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I know, but I couldn't talk her out of it. She said she wanted to do something that felt normal to keep her mind off of everything."

Jax reached out for Gracie's hands and held them in his own, meeting her gaze before quickly looking down at the floor. "Listen, I think you know how much I still…how I feel about Tara." He looked up and saw her nod. "What you did for her last night…what you kept that asshole from doing to her…I can never repay you for that."

Grace just shook her head. "She's my family, Jax. I'd do anything for her. And she would have done it for me."

He nodded. "Still, just…thank you. That seems like such a fucking pathetic thing to say compared to what you deserve, but that's all I got. Thank you."

Gracie squeezed the hands still holding her own. "You're welcome."

Jax grinned before throwing an arm over her shoulder and leading her back out to the hallway. "Come on. Let's get out of here before you make me start to cry or some shit and I turn into a complete pussy."

Gracie laughed and elbowed him in the side, which only made his smile widen. He stopped in front of Juice's door. "Go wake up your old man up and tell him we've got church in 15 minutes."

Gracie tilted her head to the side, totally confused. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't exactly peg you guys as church goers."

Jax shook his head and smirked. "Church is what we call a club meeting. That's why we call the room with the reaper table the 'chapel'."

Gracie blushed and laughed. "Ah, right, got it. So to get to the 'chapel' just walk straight past the fully stocked bar, take a left at the croweaters, walk by the wall with the mug shots, and you're at 'church'. If you reach the stripper pole you've gone too far."

Jax moved his arm from her shoulders to her neck and playfully put her in a headlock. "That's right, smart ass." He let go of her and smiled again, this time with a look of sincerity in his eyes. "Seriously, Gracie. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you. Juice or no Juice, you're family now."

Before she could respond, Jax leaned down and kissed her forehead before turning around and walking back down the hallway. Gracie just stared after him, surprised and warmed by his words. Despite his flirtatious, bad ass biker persona, Jackson Teller could be really sweet when he wanted to be. She could see why Tara still loved him so much.

* * *

Juice was frantically pulling on his pants when his door opened. When he saw Gracie walk through, he sighed in relief, finally able to breathe. For some reason, it scared the shit out of him when she wasn't in bed when he woke up. He knew it was stupid, that she was somewhere in the clubhouse. But all through the night he had laid awake, staring at his beautiful woman, haunted by one simple thought. _I could have lost her._ He had never loved anyone like he loved Grace, and the idea that she could have so easily been taken away from him last night paralyzed him with a fear he had never experienced. And when he woke up without her, he almost had a god damn panic attack. He knew it was irrational, but he just wasn't ready to let his girl out of his sight. He walked over to her and held her face in his hands, looking into his favorite shade of green, before crashing his lips down onto hers.

His kiss was brutal and frenzied, just like his fear. But as he tasted Gracie's familiar sweetness, he felt the calm that always follows her overtake him. He slowed his movements, moving his tongue in perfect time with hers, savoring the softness of her lips and the way she gently scratched the back of his neck. He moved his hands so that one was tangled in her hair and one trailed slowly down her side, over her hip, to rest on her ass. He squeezed gently before pulling her closer and rubbing his now hardened length against her center.

Gracie's mind went blank, the way it did every time Juice kissed her. She could feel herself melt into his arms with every soft bite, her knees weaken with every thrust of his tongue. But when she felt him press against her throbbing groin, she once again remembered why she had come in here and knew they had to stop.

Gracie pulled back and gently pushed herself out of Juice's arms. She tried to catch her breath as she spoke. "Baby…wait…we can't right now."

"What? Why?"

When she saw the look on his face, she tried unsuccessfully to stifle her grin. He looked like a little boy who just had his favorite toy taken away.

She reached up and wrapped her arms back around his neck. "Jax told me to tell you that you have church in a few minutes."

Juice hung his head and groaned. With everything that happened with Kohn, he hadn't been thinking about Clay's assassination attempt and the ensuing shit storm with the Mayans. He kissed her quickly one more time before pulling away to finish getting dressed.

When he had put on his t-shirt and boots, he paused to look at Gracie before slipping on his holster and looping his K-bar around his belt. He had never worn his weapons around her before, but today he had no choice.

He debated on what to say next. He knew the rule for old ladies; you tell them everything or you tell them nothing. He hated the thought of Gracie being burdened with all the shit the club has to deal with, but he knew he would never be able to lie to her.

He put on his kutte and went to stand a few inches in front of her. "Listen, Gracie Jane, about what you saw last night…" He looked up at her and waited for her to nod before continuing. "There's another MC in Oakland, the Mayans. They tried to kill Clay last night. That's how Cameron got shot."

Gracie quietly gasped as one of her hands went to cover her mouth. Tara had told her that the club was involved in illegal business, but last night was the first time she had seen any of it firsthand.

Juice reached out and softly caressed her cheek. He tried to hide the nervousness in his voice, thinking that he may have finally said the words that were going to scare her away. "Say something, sweetheart, please."

She looked into his eyes. "Are you in danger?"

He just shook his head. "I'll be fine, Gracie. I promise. We'll handle this shit and everything will be alright."

Gracie threw herself against him, wrapping her arms tightly around Juice's waist and burying her face against his chest. "Promise me you'll be careful…and that you'll come back to me."

Juice kissed the top of her head. "I promise I'll be careful." Then he leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips before repeating the words that he had said to her the night he left for Indian Hills. "And I promise I'll come back to you, sweetheart. I'll come back to you every time."

Gracie nodded and turned to walk out of the dorm when Juice's hand suddenly reached out and grasped her arm. She turned around to see him looking at her from head to toe, finally noticing what she had on.

He bit his lip and groaned. "Jesus, Gracie Jane. What are you wearing?"

She looked down at herself and shrugged her shoulders. "Oh…sorry, I just grabbed some of your clothes when I got up. All of mine are too gross to put back on. Is that ok?"

The flirty grin that she absolutely loved flashed across his face. "Yeah, it's more than ok. You look sexy as fuck right now, sweetheart."

Gracie could feel the blush rising in her cheeks. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm wearing boxers and a t-shirt. It isn't exactly lingerie. And my face is still kind of ugly…"

Juice's hands grasp her hips, and when she looked up his eyes, she saw they were darkened with arousal. "You're naked except for my underwear and a reaper t-shirt. That's hotter than any fucking lingerie." He moved his hands up to her waist, making contact with her bare skin. "And your face is beautiful. A few bruises can't change that."

He felt her tremble as soon as his calloused hands made contact with her soft skin. He pulled her close so that she could feel how hard he still was. His voice was low and quiet. "That's how sexy I think you are right now, sweetheart." He rubbed himself against her, causing them both to moan. "Do you feel what you do to me?"

Gracie leaned in and started sucking and licking the side of his neck, making him tighten his grip around her waist. She never stopped her kisses as she ran her fingers up the back of his head and gently trailed her fingernails back down. He could feel her smile against his skin before she pulled his head down to whisper in his ear, the feeling of her warm breath sending tingles down his spine. "Do you want me to wait for you in your bed while you're at church?" She felt him sigh as his hands moved from her waist, up her bare back to her shoulders, and then back down, caressing every inch. "I can keep your clothes on if you want. I can…" Her tongue gently flicked his ear before she nibbled on his ear lobe, causing him groan. "I can touch myself…make sure I'm ready for you when you get back. I promise I won't come without you."

_Jesus Fucking Christ, I think she's trying to kill me. _He pulled back to look at his girl, her cheeks flushed with both shyness and desire. "Fuck, Gracie..."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up and carrying her to the small dresser. When she was sitting on the edge, she locked her legs around his hips and pulled him in for a kiss, grinding herself against him. Juice was just about to shrug his kutte back off his shoulders when he was stopped by a pounding at the door.

Jax's voice boomed into the dorm. "Yo, Juicey! Get out here, brother. It's time."

Juice pulled away from the kiss and rested his forehead on Gracie's shoulder, gasping for air. "Yeah, man…I'll be there in a minute."

He looked up at Gracie and saw the playful smile on her face and the mischievous look in her eyes.

He was about to tell her that she better stay in his bed and do exactly what she said she would when Jax yelled through the door again. "Oh, and tell Gracie to come out too."

Gracie couldn't hold back her laughter at the disappointed look on Juice's face. She knew exactly what he was thinking.

She gave him a peck on the cheek before hopping off of the dresser. When she went to the door and opened it, she turned her head over her shoulder and smiled. "Come on Juan Carlos. We don't want to be late for church."

Gracie just winked at him before disappearing down the hallway, leaving him to stare after her in wonder.

Juice took a moment to adjust himself in his now painfully tight pants before running out to follow her. He knew shit with the club was crazy and his day was probably going to suck, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. _Yeah, she's definitely trying to kill me…and there's no other way I'd rather go._

**Please please please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

**You know those impossible things you are certain will never, ever happen? Well, I was sure this story would never get over 100 favorites, and yet, here we are! Thank you so much. Really, can't say it enough. Thank you.**

**Sorry, again, that it took me over a week to update. I've been working a ton and time just got away from me. But it's a really long chapter, so I hope that makes up for it :) So here it is, one more filler-ish chapter before the season one finale. This is the nice, fluffy calm before the storm. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 24

Gracie walked up to the bar where Clay, Gemma, and Jax were sitting. She looked over to Jax and smiled. "You wanted to see me?"

Clay stood up and shook his head. "No, I did." He walked forward and rested his hand on Gracie's shoulder, squeezing. "I personally wanted to thank you for what you did for the club last night. We were in a world of hurt before you got here."

Grace swallowed and nodded. Clay was being nice, but for some reason, he still intimidated the shit out of her. She hoped her voice didn't betray her nervousness. "Of course. You're welcome. I'm just glad I was able to help."

Juice walked into the room just in time to see his President patting Gracie on the shoulder, and he couldn't describe the pride he felt. Clay was the closest thing that Juice had ever had to a father, and Gemma was definitely the woman he considered to be his mom. Seeing the approving way that they both were looking at her meant everything to him. They were his family, and he wanted them to love her as much as he did.

Clay glanced towards Juice and then back at Jax. "Alright, chapel. Now."

Juice went to Gracie and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close and kissing her on the cheek. "See you later, Gracie Jane." She just smiled at him and nodded.

When the three men walked through the double doors into the other room, she turned towards Gemma and offered a small smile. "Mrs. Morrow, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I was rude or short with you last night. I, uh, I had a really bad day yesterday…" She raised her hand and gestured at her bruised face. "Obviously. And I was honestly just as concerned as you were that I wouldn't be able to take care of Cameron and I'm sorry…"

The older, and yet still flawless, woman interrupted her rambling. "Don't apologize to me, sweetheart. I was being a bitch. It was a stressful night for everyone." She drank another sip of her coffee and smirked. "Clay's right. You came through for the club."

Gracie shuffled her feet and looked down at the floor. "I just did what I could to help."

Gemma looked at the pretty redhead, blushing and uncomfortable with attention. She was a little in awe of her. There hadn't been a woman like her around the clubhouse in…well…forever. There was nothing hard about her. She didn't have an edge or a chip on her shoulder. She wasn't trying to prove anything, threaten anyone, and from what Gemma could gather, had no secret agenda. Grace was her opposite in almost every way…but, strangely enough, not in a way that bothered her.

"Listen, sweetheart." Gemma patted the bar stool next to her and waited for Grace to sit down before continuing. "Did Juice tell you anything about what happened last night? About what you saw?"

Gracie just nodded. "A little."

Gemma raised an eyebrow and stared into her eyes, looking for fear or weakness. "And how are you doing with all that?"

Gracie ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "Honestly, Mrs. Morrow, I'm just worried about Juice. I haven't had time to process any of the rest of it."

Gemma nodded, satisfied with her answer. "Well, it all boils down to one simple question. Do you love him?"

Grace stared at the other woman, all the nervousness in her voice replaced with calm and certainty. "I love Juice more than I've ever loved anything."

Gemma couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from raising slightly in a smile. The little nurse might be sweet and shy, but she was also strong, and smart, and fiercely in love with her man… she was exactly what the little Puerto Rican needed. "If you love him as much as you say you do, then there is only one rule you need to live by…if you love the man, you learn to love the club. They're a package deal and you can't have one without the other."

Gracie shook her head. "Mrs. Morrow, I'm not trying to take Juice away from the club. I know how much it means to him. It's his family. I don't want to change his life…I just want to be a part of it."

Just then Kip opened the clubhouse door. "Hey, Grace? Can you come outside for a minute?"

Gracie looked up at Gemma and waited for her to nod before getting up and walking outside. She went to the door, but before she could walk through it, she heard the other woman's voice call out to her. "Oh, and sweetheart?"

Gracie turned around and looked back at the bar. "Yeah?"

The older woman grinned. "Call me Gemma. 'Mrs. Morrow' makes me sound too fucking old."

Gracie smiled at her and nodded before opening the door and walking outside.

* * *

Gracie walked out to the parking lot and saw Tara leaning up against the cutlass. Her face was pale and her eyes looked slightly vacant. Gracie jogged over to her, still in her bare feet, and the two women embraced, holding onto each other for dear life.

After a few minutes, Tara pulled away and kissed Gracie on the forehead. "I'm so sorry, Gracie Jane. What you did for me…"

Gracie shook her head. "It's over now, Doc. It's all over."

Tara wiped a stray tear away and nodded. She reached through the window of the car and pulled out a backpack, handing it to Grace. "I packed some clothes and stuff for you. I didn't think you'd, you know, want to go back to the house just yet."

Gracie smiled softly at her best friend. "Thank you."

Tara reached out and touched Grace's still bruised cheek with her fingertips. "I called your manager and told him you need to be off for a few days. I said you fell off of a step ladder in the kitchen and hit your face on the floor."

Gracie couldn't help but chuckle. "That actually sounds like something I would do."

A small silence passed between the two. Neither had to ask how the other was doing. They knew each other inside and out. Tara could see that Gracie was going to be alright just by the look in her eyes, the same way that Gracie could see that Tara was still spiraling from the horror of the previous night.

Tara spoke first. "I should get going. I'm due in surgery in a couple of hours and I need to check on Abel and…"

Gracie reached out and held both of her hands. "I really don't think you should go to work today."

Tara sighed and shook her head. "I already had this fight with Jax. I'm going. I just…I need to focus on something, anything, else."

Gracie nodded, knowing there was no way to talk her out of it. She leaned in and pulled Tara into one more hug. "You and me against the world, Knowles."

Tara just squeezed her tighter. "Always, Gracie Jane. I love you."

"Love you too, Doc."

* * *

Grace walked back into the clubhouse and went straight to Juice's dorm. She took off the boxers and t-shirt, and then got dressed in the clothes that Tara had packed for her. After pulling on her boot cut jeans and fitted, red plaid flannel, she slipped on her flip flops and tied her hair back in a small, messy bun. When she walked back to the bar, Gemma was walking out of the kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee.

When Gracie sat down at the bar, Gemma poured them each another cup and sat down beside her. Gemma took a sip before rolling her eyes. "I guess the bitch was too much of a coward to come in here and face me."

Gracie looked over at her in confusion. "Excuse me?"

Gemma huffed out a breath and nodded her head towards the small security monitors behind the bar. "I saw you and the good doctor talking outside. Was she too scared to come in here? Was that why you had to go out to the parking lot?" And then Gracie barely heard Gemma mumble under her breath, "Stupid little gash."

Gracie's back straightened as she put her coffee down and turned her stool to face the other woman. "Look Gemma, I know the history between Jax and Tara, and I know how badly she hurt him all those years ago. I can't imagine what that was like for you, to have to watch your son be so heartbroken. But Tara is like a sister to me and I can't let you talk about her like that. You're Jax's mom and Juice adores you, so I promise to never be disrespectful to you. I'm just asking for the same courtesy. I can't stop you from thinking horrible things about Tara, but I hope you can stop yourself from saying them out loud when I'm around. Please."

Gemma just sighed. _Well, she's loyal. I'll give her that. She's just wasting it on the wrong person. _Gemma begrudgingly nodded. "Fine, because I like you and I love Juicey, I'll try to keep my thoughts about Tara to myself…keep in mind, I said I'll _try._"

Gracie grinned. "I really appreciate that Gemma."

Just then the clubhouse doors opened and all of the Sons emptied out into the clubhouse. Clay and Juice both approached the bar and kissed their women.

Juice took a moment to stare into Gracie's eyes, certain that it would be the only calm moment of his day. "Listen, sweetheart. I'm going to be tied up all day with club business. I won't be able to spend much time with you. You can stay here if you want to or I can have someone drive you home…"

Gemma interrupted him. "Actually Juice, Grace is going to be spending the day with me."

Juice looked back at Gracie. "You are?"

Gracie shrugged her shoulders and looked over to Gemma. "I am?"

Gemma nodded before turning to look at her old man. "Tacoma and the Nomads are coming in tonight, right?" Clay nodded.

Gemma looked back at Gracie. "We have a lot of guys coming in from other charters to help with the shit going on. You can help me get ready for them. We'll need to go to the store and stock up on food and booze, whatever supplies we might need, and then come back here and set up."

Gracie glanced at Juice and saw him smile before turning back to Gemma. "Um, sure, yeah, whatever you need."

When Clay and Gemma turned to walk out of the clubhouse, Gracie wrapped her arms around Juice's neck, kissing him soundly. "Please be careful today."

Juice smiled as he ran his thumb over her jaw. "I will. I love you, Gracie."

She leaned in and gave him one more small, chaste kiss. "I love you too, baby."

* * *

The first stop they made was to Clay and Gemma's house so that Gemma could swap her Cadillac coupe for her large, black SUV. Then they went to the little liquor store in Charming where Gemma bought nearly every bottle of whiskey, vodka, and tequila they carried. Finally they went to the grocery store and purchased enough food to feed a small army.

Gracie was loading the bags into the back of the SUV when Gemma walked away to talk to a young woman with two small kids who was parked on the other side of the lot. She couldn't hear what was said, but the conversation between the two women was obviously heated. When the woman got in her car and slammed the door, Gemma turned to walk back to the SUV, an exasperated look on her face.

When they both got back in the car, Gemma looked over to Gracie and raised an eyebrow. "Well, aren't you going to ask me who that was?"

Gracie shook her head. "I wasn't planning to. It's none of my business."

Gemma started the car and pulled out onto the road. "That was Donna Winston, Opie's wife." She glanced quickly over at Grace before looking back at the road. "She's a good woman, but a shitty old lady."

Gracie looked at Gemma, confused. "What do you mean?"

Gemma sighed. "Opie did five years for arson. He just got out a few months ago."

Gracie nodded. "Yeah, Juice mentioned that he didn't know Opie as well as the other guys because he got arrested around the same time that Juice became as a prospect."

Gemma's voice was full of frustration. "Donna was never a big fan of the club, but she loved Ope so she married him in spite of it. When he got sent away she blamed the club, even though we took care of her financially while he was inside."

"And now?"

Gemma sighed. "Now that Opie's out she's trying to get him away from the MC. Wants him to have a steady 9 to 5 job at the mill."

Gracie shrugged. "I mean, I can see where she's coming from. She spent five years without her husband, the father of her kids. She probably just wants to keep him safe."

Gemma stopped at a red light and looked over at Gracie. "That's just it, sweetheart. She's doing the opposite. Opie's the son of a founding member of the club. It's in his blood. He's never known anything but the MC. Men like Opie, Jax, even Juice…they can never have a 'normal' life. They earn with the club. They're outlaws, plain and simple. And it's every old lady's job to give them strength, to lift them up and hold them down. Donna isn't keeping him safe. She's tearing him apart from the inside out. If he can't focus 100% on the club, then he's putting himself in danger every day. I love Opie and I love Donna, but this half-in, half-out bullshit is going to get him killed."

As Gemma pulled the SUV into the TM lot a few minutes later, Gracie ran her hands over her face and sighed. "There's still so much about all this that I don't understand."

Gemma parked the car and then turned to Grace, giving her a sympathetic smile. "You'll learn, sweetheart. You're good for Juice. I'm glad you're his old lady."

Gracie sighed and shook her head. "Yeah, I know that Clay and some of the other guys have said that, but I'm not Juice's old lady. He's never asked me to be or called me that. I'm just his girlfriend."

Gemma just smirked. "He's probably just scared that you're not ready to hear it. In our world, being an old lady means more than being someone's wife. But trust me, sweetheart. If you don't think you're Juice's old lady, then you're the only one who doesn't. That boy's got it bad for you."

Gracie blushed and smiled. "Good thing I've got it bad for him too."

When Gracie got out of the car, she saw that there were more bikes parked in the lot than she had ever seen before. Gemma waved her hands to some of the croweaters sitting at the picnic tables, and they all jumped up and ran over to help unload the car.

Gemma and Gracie walked into the clubhouse, which was empty except for Kip, who was mopping the floors. When the door opened, he looked up and gave them both his sweet, lopsided smile. "Hi Gemma. Hey Gracie."

Gemma looked around the room. "Where is everybody?"

Kip nodded his head towards the chapel. "They're in the chapel. I don't know the details, but Clay said the threat's all over. Said that church was going to be a long one to talk about the details, but that everything was all good."

Gemma took a deep breath, all the tension leaving her shoulders. She grinned over to Gracie, who looked just as relieved. "Well Grace, sounds like our men are going to be busy for a while. What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

Gracie shrugged. "Um, nothing really. I need to try and find another car at some point since Lowell told me mine was unfixable, but other than that…"

Gemma's eyes lit up as she flashed a mischievous smile to Gracie. "Come with me, baby. I know the perfect place."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Gemma pulled up in front of the only used car lot in Charming, Eddie's Auto Sales. She took off her aviator glasses and grinned. "Alright, sweetheart. This is what you do. Go in there and pick out a car. Test drive it, and if you like it, get Eddie to make you an offer. When he does, text me."

Gracie was lost. "Um, ok, but where are you going?"

Gemma smirked. "Just trust me sweetheart. Go."

Gracie just looked at Gemma and laughed. _What the hell is she going to do?_ "Uh, sure, alright. I guess I'll see you later."

Gracie climbed out of the SUV and watched as Gemma quickly pulled away. She walked onto the lot and went up and down the rows of cars, looking for something that caught her eye. She was in the fourth row when she stopped dead in her tracks. _Oh, hello beautiful._ There it was. The car that she had wanted since she was 16. The car that her dad said that she wasn't allowed to have because she would drive it like a bat out of hell. The car that should have been hers instead of her shitty little Honda…a candy apple red Mustang GT.

A skinny, middle aged man with a cheap suit and an even cheaper toupee came up to Grace. "She's a beauty, isn't she? Only two years old and a fun little ride…"

30 minutes later, Gracie had driven the car and was completely in love with it. She was determined to have it, despite the cheesy salesman and the steep sticker price. She asked Eddie, the owner, if he could come down on the price, and he said that unfortunately the car was already heavily discounted and he would be unable to go any lower.

Gracie told him she needed some time to think about the purchase, so he left her alone in his office for a few minutes. She quickly sent a text to Gemma and waited for whatever was going to happen next.

When Eddie came back into the office a few minutes later he flashed Grace a seedy smile. "Well little lady? Are you ready to buy yourself a car?"

They both turned when they heard the voice behind them. "Actually Eddie, she wanted to get a second opinion first."

The man tripped over his feet and stuttered when he saw Gemma Teller-Morrow standing in his office. "Oh, uh, hello Gemma. It's so good to see you again. Are you, uh, friends with this lovely young woman?"

Gemma smirked. "You could say that. She's Samcro."

Eddie paled. "What? She is? I mean, she didn't mention anything…"

Gemma ignored the stammering man and walked over to the desk where she read over the offer in front of Gracie. She looked up at Eddie in disgust. "Really Ed? $200 dollars off the sticker price and an extended warranty? That's the best you can do for a member's old lady?"

* * *

As they walked out towards Gracie's new car, the two women couldn't stop laughing. Gracie smiled. "Oh my God, Gemma! How the hell did you get him to take $4,000 dollars off his bottom line? And the way he kept asking you to make sure to tell Clay that he took care of us? I thought he was going to pee himself!"

Gemma just grinned. "Anyone associated with the Sons demands respect in this town. Clay has done some favors for Eddie in the past, and he owes us… a lot. We let him pay us back one good deal at a time."

Gracie smile widened when she unlocked her mustang and slid inside. "Well, thank you. You saved me a boat load."

Gemma winked at her. "No problem sweetheart. It's always fun messing with that guy." She looked down at her watch. "But we've been here way too long. Now we need to go and get ready for the party."

Gracie furrowed her brow. "What party?"

Gemma smiled. "Oh, honey. There are two other charters in town and the threat to the club is over. That means there's going to be one hell of a party tonight at the clubhouse."

Gracie sighed as she reached up and touched her bruised cheeks. "I really don't think I'm going to be up for a party tonight. I mean, look at me."

Gemma just shook her head. "That's nothing that a little makeup won't fix."

Gracie raised an eyebrow and looked at her like she was crazy.

Gemma sighed. "Alright, it will be a shit ton of makeup, but I can still do it. You just gotta trust me, baby."

Gracie rolled her eyes but smiled. "Ok, so what do I wear to this big, crazy party?"

Gemma smiled. "The hottest thing you've got."

* * *

When Gracie left the car lot, she quickly drove to her house. She ran into her bedroom and went to her closet, digging in the back for the skirt and top that Tara had forced her to buy against her will one day during a shopping trip in Chicago. She looked at the scraps of material that she had never actually had the balls to wear out of the house and sighed. _Oh god, I can't believe I'm doing this._ She went ahead and grabbed some sexy underwear and perfume, cramming it all into her oversized purse, before locking up and heading back over to Gemma's.

When she knocked on the door, Gemma opened the door and smiled. "You know, for a second I thought you were going to pussy out on me."

Gracie laughed. "For a second there, I almost did. But I'm here now, so do your worst Mrs. Morrow."

Almost two hours later, Gracie was looking into the bathroom mirror, barely recognizing the woman staring back at her. _Holy shit, how the fuck did she do this?_

Gemma was right. It had taken a shit ton of makeup, but Gracie could barely see the bruises on her face. Instead she just saw gorgeous smoky black eye makeup that made her eyes look bigger and greener than ever before, perfectly pink cheeks, and pouty, rose-tinted glossy lips. Her hair was, for the first time in her life, perfectly straight, sleek, and shiny, and teased just enough to have that sexy, just got laid look that she had never quite been able to achieve on her own.

She slid on her skin tight, black leather mini skirt over her black lace thong, tucking in the black silk camisole that dipped into a deep V in both the front and the back, revealing her matching black, lace pushup bra. Finally she put on the black stilettos that she was borrowing from Gemma and sprayed herself with her favorite expensive perfume.

She stepped out into the bedroom where Gemma was waiting for her, and when the other woman saw her she grinned with pride.

Gemma couldn't hide the delight in her voice. "Oh God, Juice is going to pass out."

Gracie stepped in front of the full length mirror and immediately tried to start pulling down the skirt and pulling up the blouse. "Jesus Christ, Gemma. I look like a high class hooker."

Gemma stood up and went to Gracie, swatting her hands away from her clothes and putting them back in place. "Exactly what I was going for."

She sighed when she saw Gracie roll her eyes. "Listen, sweetheart. This is your coming out party. You're going to be a huge source of pride for Juice tonight. Every man at the clubhouse is going to want you, and your old man is going to love that he's the only one that actually gets to have you. Trust me. You'll be the hottest bitch there."

Gracie could feel herself cheeks redden. She looked at herself one more time before hiding her face in her hands. "Oh good lord. Let's just go and get this over with."

Gemma laughed and gave Gracie a hug. "That's the spirit. Now let's go give Juicey that heart attack."

* * *

The party was in full swing at the clubhouse. Classic rock was blaring from the speakers and tons of patches, croweaters, and hang-arounds were crowded around the ring watching Happy and Tig beat each other senseless. Bobby was manning the huge grill while everyone was drinking, laughing, and having a good time, enjoying the relief that came with the new peace agreement with the Mayans.

Jax, Chibs, and Piney were all having a drink by the picnic table when they saw Gemma's caddy pull into the lot followed closely by a red mustang that none of them had seen before.

Gemma stepped out first and walked over to Jax, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey baby. Where's Clay?"

Jax nodded his head towards the clubhouse. "He's in the chapel with Juice, talking to the Irish."

Gemma nodded and started to walk inside, but turned around when she heard Jax call out, "Hey mom. Where's Gracie?"

Gemma continued walking but yelled over her shoulder. "Getting out of her new ride."

They all looked over just in time to see Gracie, or at least a new version of Gracie, step out of the car. Her wavy auburn locks were straight and long, her t-shirt and jeans had been replaced with a cleavage-baring top and a strip of leather that barely qualified as a skirt, and she stood in black stilettos instead of her usual Chuck Taylors. They could do nothing but stare. Gracie was always beautiful. But this Gracie? The one with the sexy clothes and porn star makeup? This Gracie was a biker's wet dream.

Chibs was the only one that was able to speak. "Holy Mary Mother of Christ." Jax and Piney were both speechless.

After a moment, Jax recovered from the shock and flashed his flirty smile, walking over to Gracie and throwing his arm around her shoulder. He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You know, just when I start thinking of you as a sister, you go and show up here dressed like that."

His smile dropped when he saw the blush in Gracie's cheeks, her face full of anxiety and embarrassment. She looked down at the ground and fidgeted with her skirt. "Be honest Jax…do I look ridiculous?"

He tilted her chin up to look into her eyes and smiled. "Darlin', you're the sexiest woman I've seen all night. Are you kidding me? You look amazing."

She tried to relax as she took a huge, deep breath. "Thanks. Your mom did this to me. Have you noticed that it's impossible to tell that woman no?"

Jax just laughed. "Yeah, that's kinda something I've picked up on over the years."

The two walked back over to where Piney and Chibs were both still frozen, staring in wonder. She gave Piney a kiss on the cheek and then leaned in to hug her favorite Scotsman. "Hi guys. Looks like quite a party."

Piney grinned. "You look beautiful, sweetheart."

Gracie's cheeks reddened even more. "Thanks, Piney."

Chibs just smiled at his favorite red head. "Jesus, love. You're a vision tonight."

Jax shook his head at his near-drooling brothers and grabbed Gracie's hand, pulling her towards the clubhouse. "Come on Gracie Jane, let's go get you a drink."

Jax led her through the crowd that was gathered around the ring until they were standing by the clubhouse door. He leaned in and spoke in her ear. "Just stay close to me until Juice comes out, darlin'.

Gracie looked up at him confused. "Why?"

Jax looked at Gracie's outfit one more time before a sly smile crossed his face. "Just trust me."

When she nodded they walked into the clubhouse and over to the bar. There was an empty stool beside of Cherry, who was sitting at the bar talking to Kip, since he was bartending that night.

Gracie sat down and smiled. "Hi Kip. Hey Cherry. It's so nice to see you again."

Cherry smiled as her eyes widened in shock. "Fuck, Gracie, you look hot!"

Jax laughed when he saw Gracie's face turn the color of a tomato. "Come on, don't embarrass the girl. Get her a drink, Prospect."

Half-Sack didn't hear Jax talking to him because he was too busy staring at Gracie's tits. Cherry laughed and punched his shoulder, snapping her man back to reality. "Oh, shit…uh…hi Gracie..you look, um, yeah, you look different tonight. I mean, you know…good different, just…"

Gracie smiled and patted his hand. "Thanks Kip. Can I just have a bottle of water, please?"

Jax leaned over and rested his arm on the bar. "You're not drinking tonight?"

Gracie just tapped her head with her finger. "Probably not the best idea to get drunk when I got a mild concussion 24 hours ago."

Jax wished that he could kill that fucker all over again. He swallowed his rage and tried to smile at Gracie. "Yeah, you're probably right."

Gracie smiled when she turned back towards Cherry. "So, tell me all about your new job at the salon…"

* * *

Gracie had been sitting at the bar for about 15 minutes when Jax got pulled away by some of the Tacoma guys to play some pool. He made her promise to stay at the bar with Half-Sack, but after a few minutes, Cherry and Kip disappeared together into the kitchen leaving Gracie sitting by herself.

She spun around on her stool to look around the room, taking in the various levels of debauchery. She laughed quietly to herself. The parties were just as crazy as Tara had described. Her eyes had just landed on the clubhouse door when it swung open and in walked the man that had just been fighting with Tig in the boxing ring outside. As he walked closer she noticed his coal black eyes and beautiful tattoos, and realized that he was one of the men that she had seen her very first night in the clubhouse.

The man walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels, bringing it to his lips and drinking a few big gulps before walking back around to the barstools. When he noticed Gracie he stopped dead in his tracks. His face was completely blank, but Gracie could see his gaze travel from the top of her head, over the curves of her body, to the heels of her shoes, taking in every detail. His eyes traveled the same slow path back up before landing squarely on her sparkling green eyes.

She wasn't quite sure what to do as the man just stood there silently and stared, so after a moment she shoved out her hand and smiled softly. "Um, hi. I'm Grace."

The man looked down at her outstretched hand and took it in his own, surprising Gracie by grasping it ever so gently. He looked back at her face and she saw the corners of his mouth raise into the smallest of smiles.

He held her hand as he pulled her off the stool and she heard a deep, raspy voice say "Come on." He never let go of her as he started walking back towards the dorms.

Jax had just pocketed the eight ball when he glanced up and saw the Tacoma Killer pulling Gracie away from the bar. _Oh shit._

He jogged over to Gracie and grabbed her other hand, pulling her back and tucking her close to his side. Happy looked at him, confused, annoyed, and generally pissed off. Jax just grinned and shook his head. "Sorry, Hap. She's not available. This is Juice's old lady."

Happy immediately backed away from Gracie like she was on fire. She looked up at the man in front of her and she could have sworn, that just for a moment, she saw a look of disappointment flash across his expressionless face. Happy nodded his head to Jax before looking back at Gracie.

He simply said, "Sorry," before downing some more whiskey and walking towards the pool table.

Gracie turned to Jax, who was barely holding in his laughter. "Ok, um, what just happened?"

Jax threw his arm around Gracie's shoulders and led her back to her bar stool. "See, I told you to stay at the bar." He raised his bottle of Budweiser and gestured towards the tall, dark, and handsome stranger that had just walked across the room. "That's Happy Lowman. He's a brother from the Tacoma charter. He thought you were, you know…I mean, you weren't with anybody, so…"

Jax busted up laughing when he saw the light bulb go off in Gracie's head, her eyes widening and her cheeks turning an impossible shade of red. She quickly looked at him, then at Happy, then down the hallway towards the dorms, and then back to Jax. "Did he think I was a…was he going to…do women really…Jesus, he didn't even talk to me first!" She looked down at her outfit and groaned. "Oh my god, I really do look like a hooker."

Jax just shook his head and smiled. "You don't look like a hooker, Gracie. You look gorgeous. Take it as a compliment." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Now stay here and out of trouble while I go kill the prospect for leaving you alone."

* * *

The last thing that Juice was in the mood for was a party. He had spent the first part of his day staring at his computer screen trying to find a connection between the Mayans and the Nords, even though he could barely concentrate because images of Gracie laying in his bed wearing nothing but his boxers kept invading his head all god damn morning.

Then Clay called church and told everyone about the deal he brokered with Alvarez, and Juice got a sick feeling deep in the pit of his stomach, knowing that it was a bad fucking idea to piss off the Niners, although no one seemed to agree with him except Bobby.

Then, later in the night, the members of Samcro had agreed to avenge Michael McKeavey's murder by taking out the dirty port commissioner that authorized the hit. While the party raged outside Juice sat in the chapel, his laptop on the reaper table. First he researched Heffner's daily activities so that the club could make the best decision about when and where to take him out, and then he got in touch with SamBel, along with Clay, to finalize the details of the gun deal with the Irish.

Juice wasn't in the mood to party. He didn't want to get drunk, didn't want to get high, he didn't even want to hang out with his brothers. All he wanted to do was find his girl, make love to her, and go to sleep. _Yep, fucking whipped, and I don't even care._

He walked out of the chapel and into the clubhouse, searching through the sea of patches and croweaters for Jax, who would more than likely know where Gemma had taken Gracie. He was just making his way towards the bar when he caught a glimpse of familiar auburn hair and pretty porcelain skin.

Juice took a few more steps and when she came into his line of sight, he completely stopped breathing. _Holy fucking shit._ There was his Gracie, dressed hotter than any croweater he'd ever seen. She was sitting on the barstool talking to Chibs who standing right beside her. He could see the perfect curves of her breasts peeking out over the top of her blouse, and his jaw clenched when he saw the way that Chibs would look down at her tits ever few seconds. She laughed at something Chibs had said and threw her head back, and Juice felt his hands tighten into fists when he saw the way Half-Sack checked her out when she wasn't looking. And he was certain his heart stopped beating when she crossed one gorgeous leg over the other, causing her incredibly short skirt to ride up even higher, revealing the beautiful pale thighs that he always fantasized about. _The one's I see when I strip her down. The ones that grasp my hips when I'm on top of her._ He looked around the room and saw more than one set of eyes trained on his girl, and he was instantly filled with a weird combination of overwhelming pride and rage-inducing jealousy. No one was supposed to look at her like that but him.

He started for the bar but was stopped suddenly when a strong hand landed on his chest. He looked up to see his brother Happy in front of him, an apologetic look on his face. His raspy voice, usually strong and threatening, was quiet and almost contrite. "Hey Juice. Just wanted to be the one to tell you…I pushed up on your girl a little. I didn't know she was your old lady. Nothing happened, and she didn't do anything wrong. Jax set me straight. Just wanted you to know, brother."

Juice didn't trust himself to speak in that moment, he was so fucking pissed. He only nodded before Happy walked away. Juice took long purposeful strides to the bar, and when he approached, Gracie turned to him and smiled. "Hey baby, I missed…"

Gracie didn't get a chance to finish her sentence before Juice was on her, crashing his lips down to hers and kissing her with everything he had. His kiss was deep, hard, and passionate, and above all else, claiming. He knew his brothers were watching and he didn't want there to be any doubt in their minds, any shadow of hope for them, any question about who this beautiful woman belonged to…Gracie Anderson was Juice Ortiz's old lady.

He pulled back from his kiss as suddenly as he had started it, leaving Gracie panting but smiling. He looked down at the black leather against her milky white thighs and groaned. His hands traveled from her knees, slowly up her thighs, to the edge of her skirt, and tugged it gently, pulling it down a couple inches. He placed his hands back on her thighs and squeezed, leaning in for another taste of her lips, but stopped when he heard Chibs clear his throat beside them.

Chibs grinned when they both looked over. "Doesn't your old lady look lovely tonight, Juicey boy?"

Juice looked into Gracie's big green eyes, shining and darkened with the same hunger that was growing inside of him. "Yeah, she really fucking does."

Before anyone could say another word, Juice grabbed Gracie's hand and pulled her off the bar stool, practically dragging her towards the dorm rooms. When they reached the hallway and were out of anyone's view, he slammed her back against the wall, pressing himself against her center and running his hands over every inch of her body. "Jesus Christ, Gracie Jane. You look fucking amazing."

Gracie lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around Juice's hip as he raised her arms above her head and pinned them together with one of his hands, using the other to squeeze her tits. She sighed into his mouth before gently taking his lower lip between her teeth and biting down. "Do you think I look sexy baby?"

He noticed the slight smile crossing her lips and the sparkle in her eyes. _This girl knows exactly what she's doing to me._ He thrust his hardened length against her and grinded her center through his jeans. "You look sexy every minute of every god damn day baby. Right now, you look straight up fuckable."

Gracie grinned before leaning in and whispering against his ear. "Then go ahead and fuck me already."

Juice growled in her ear before once again pulling her down the hallway towards his dorm, this time almost running. He had to hurry or else he worried he was going to lose all control and take her in the middle of the fucking clubhouse. As soon as he unlocked his door, he pushed Gracie inside and slammed it shut, pressing her back against the door.

She started to untuck her shirt when Juice's hands grasped her wrists, stilling her movements. His voice was low and breathless. "Leave it on, Gracie Jane. Leave it all on."

She smiled her sexiest smile and nodded. Juice dropped to his knees in front of her and looked up at his goddess of a woman and the blush in her cheeks she got whenever she was doing something dirty. He grinned as he ran his hands from her high heels, up the entire length of her legs, and under her skirt, lifting it up so he could see her lacey black thong. His hands drifted to her ass, pulling her forward so he could press his mouth against her sex.

"Oh, fuck baby. Oh my fucking god…" Gracie's head fell back against the door when she felt Juice's tongue swirling against her clit through her thong. She grasped onto the side of his head and dug her nails into the back of his scalp.

He smiled against soaked piece of fabric when he heard her start to moan. He had only been touching her for a few minutes and she was already so fucking wet, as turned on as he was, and it was driving him fucking crazy. He continued to lick against the thin lacey material as he reached down, quickly unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans, desperate to relieve some of the tension against his painfully hardened cock. But he didn't touch himself, he couldn't, too afraid he would explode in his god damn pants.

When her moans got louder and he knew she was getting close, he looked up at her and groaned. Her cheeks were flushed, her pupils her dilated, and her breath was coming out in short, quick gasps that made her breasts rise and fall against her silky top. He started using his hands against her, his thumb rubbing her clit and his two fingers pushing past her panties and thrusting up into her pussy.

Her moans got louder and louder as she used her hips to grind against his hand. "Oh god, Juice, baby, I'm so close. Oh fuck…"

His dick was throbbing and he was certain he'd never been this hard in his life. "Play with your tits, sweetheart. I can't wait anymore. I want to see you come, Gracie."

She did as she was told, running her thumbs over her nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt, and after a few short seconds she fell over the edge. "Oh, Juice, God! I'm coming, baby!" Her hands fell back to Juice's shoulders for support as she shook with each pulsating wave of her climax.

As soon as he felt the tremors in her body start to subside, he slid his fingers out of her and sucked them into his mouth, licking every drop of her juices. She was still dazed and dripping as he frantically pushed his jeans down his hips, lifted her up against the door, and pushed her thong to the side, slamming himself inside of her.

He was relentless, pounding her against the door with every thrust, his hands grasping ass and her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. "Oh, Jesus, sweetheart. Fuck, it's so good...so fucking wet, Gracie. So fucking tight."

After several minutes, he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. Between the dirty shit she said to him that morning, the hot as fuck outfit she had on, the high he was getting from the smell of her perfume, and the feel of her wetness dripping down his balls, he was done for.

As soon as he felt the heels of her shoes dig into the back of his thighs, he cried out her name, pumping into her a few more times before letting out a loud groan and cumming deep inside of her.

A few moments later, Juice slowly started to come down from the high. He released the grip on her thighs and gently lowered her back to the floor. He looked down at Gracie and a huge grin crossed his face when he saw her now messy hair and disheveled clothes. He chuckled as he tried to catch his breath. "Yep, perfectly and completely fuckable."

Gracie just laughed as she wrapped he arms around his neck and kissed his lips. "I love you, Juan Carlos."

Juice just shook his head in wonder. _How did I ever live a second of my life without this girl? _He pulled her into his arms and smiled. "I love you too, Gracie Jane."

**Please please please review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**I know I've been taking forever between updates. I really am sorry. Just a heads up, I'm leaving for the beach soon and will be gone for a couple of weeks. This means I either won't update for a while because I'm having such a great time, or I'll be updating constantly because I'm bored senseless. Either way, wanted to let you know.**

**So this chapter was really hard to write, and it's my longest chapter by far. I've actually been dreading it since I created this story. Kurt Sutter's end to Season One was so beautiful and tragic, and I hope that I at least do it justice. As always, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy it…**

Chapter 25

Gracie and Juice were smiling up at the ceiling in his dorm room, both lying on their backs in Juice's bed with Gracie resting her head on his shoulder. They were still naked from the night before, both of their hands intertwined, and neither one could stop laughing.

Juice chuckled. "Ok, so you're telling me that if I was Spider-Man you wouldn't want to have sex with me anymore?"

Gracie laughed harder. "I told you I'm terrified of spiders! I mean, what if, during the throws of passion, you got too excited and prematurely sprayed me with webs? It would scar me for life. Can't you pick another superhero?"

Juice rolled his eyes but kept smiling. "Fine, even though he's from New York and has been my favorite since I was a kid, if I had to be any superhero other than Spider-Man, who is awesome and better than all others, I would be Superman. At least he gets to fly and can use x-ray vision to check out women under their clothes."

Gracie playfully jabbed him with her elbow and giggled. "Don't be a perv, Ortiz. Didn't Spider-Man teach you that with great power comes great responsibility?"

Juice turned his head to kiss her cheek. "I may be a perv, but I'm your perv, Gracie Jane. So, what about you? If you could be any superhero…"

Gracie smiled. "She might not be a superhero exactly, but I've always wanted to be Jean Grey. She's perfect; smart, sexy, powerful, gets all the hot guys, and is even a red head. Most importantly, she doesn't fling herself from building to building using nasty, disgusting spider webs."

Juice suddenly wrapped his arms around her in a tight bear hug. "Oh, now you're gonna get it, Gracie."

He started tickling her sides, causing Gracie to squeal with laughter. "Juice! Stop!"

He was relentless, tickling her up and down her sides as she squirmed helplessly. "Nope, not until you say Spider-Man is the best."

Gracie tried without success to get away as Juice continued his torture. "Say it, Gracie!"

Gracie shrieked with laughter. "Never!"

Juice rolled on top of her and pinned her hands down, the weight of his body pressing her into the bed as her giggles slowed down and she tried to catch her breath. Juice looked down at her and smiled, his face barely an inch from her own. "Ok…then just tell me you love me."

A dreamy look crossed Gracie's face as her heart warmed in her chest. She raised her head slightly and kissed Juice on the cheek. "I love you." She then moved to the other cheek. "I love you" And finally to his lips. "I love you."

Juice smiled before leaning in and kissing her, slowly and deeply, marveling in the taste and feel and touch of the girl beneath him. When he felt himself harden he rubbed himself against her, but just as he started to move his hand down her side, he felt her small hand grasp his wrist, stilling his movements.

When he looked at her face she was blushing. "So, I know it's a little late to be mentioning this, but the last few nights were really…intense. I don't know if you realize it or not, but for the last couple of days we haven't been using condoms."

Juice couldn't help but laugh. "Uh…yeah, I noticed. It kinda feels fucking amazing." Juice leaned down and kissed her head. "I've always wrapped up before you, sweetheart. I swear, I would never hurt you like that. I promise I'm clean."

Gracie grinned. "I know. I trust you. And don't worry, I'm clean too. I guess if you want, I mean if you feel comfortable, we can stop using protection all together. I'm not going to be with anyone else and I know you won't either. And we don't have to worry about pregnancy. I'm on birth control."

Juice tried to ignore the small shadow of disappointment that he experienced when Gracie said those words, a fleeting image of a baby with caramel colored skin and bright green eyes flashing through his mind.

Juice pushed the overwhelming emotions out of his mind and once again focused on the feeling of Gracie's still naked body beneath his own. A sly smile crossed his lips. "So how about we do it again now? You know, just to make sure we like it this way?"

Gracie laughed as she pulled him closer, wrapping her legs around his waist. "I'm all yours, Juan Carlos."

* * *

Later that morning, Juice and Gracie made their way back to the bar in desperate search of some coffee. As soon as they came out of the hallway and the room came into view, Gracie burst into laughter. She quickly looked down at the floor and shielded her eyes with her hand. In front of her were more patches than she could count, each passed out all over the clubhouse in various levels of undress.

Gracie raised her eyes again and covered her mouth to quiet her laughter. Tig was sprawled out across the bar with a naked stripper laying on top of him, Chibs was asleep on the couch wearing nothing but a t-shirt and his kutte, and worst of all was Bobby, lying on top of the pool table, thankfully still dressed but passed out face down in between the legs of a croweater. _Oh, the things my eyes will never be able to unsee…_

She looked up to Juice, wide eyed and giggling. "Looks like you missed some party last night, baby."

Juice just smiled. After dragging Gracie back to his room, the two had stayed locked in his dorm for the rest of the night. He threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing her temple. "No way, sweetheart. We had the real party…just the two of us."

They both turned to walk into the kitchen when Tara suddenly stormed out looking flustered and pissed, wearing nothing but a t-shirt.

Gracie looked at her best friend, surprised. "Hey, Knowles. What are you doing here?"

Tara ran a hand through her hair. "I stayed here last night…with Jax."

Gracie's tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Well, that's a good thing, right? Why are you so upset?"

Just then Gemma walked out of the kitchen, looking just as angry and annoyed as Tara.

Tara glanced back at Gemma in disgust before turning to look at Gracie. "Ask her."

Tara then walked back to Jax's dorm without another word. Gracie looked at Gemma, crossing her arms over her chest. "Gemma, what happened?"

Gemma shook her head. "Nothing. I was just telling the good doctor all the reasons why it won't work out between her and my son."

Gracie walked away from Juice and over to Gemma, sighing. "Gemma, I don't get it. I mean, you like me, right? You said yourself that you're happy I'm with Juice. Why can't you give Tara the same chance? Why am I so different?"

Gemma grabbed Gracie by the shoulders and turned her around so that she was once again facing the crowd asleep in the clubhouse. "Grace, look out at the people in front of you and answer me honestly. Do you think you're better than them?"

Gracie responded immediately. "Of course not."

Gemma turned her back around and leaned down to kiss Gracie's forehead. "That's what makes you different, sweetheart. Tara could never accept this life. She will only try to pull Jackson away from it. You love Juicey for who he is, and you already love the other guys. I can see it. You're going to be an asset to your man and to the club, Grace. But Tara…she just doesn't belong here."

Gemma then walked out of the clubhouse without another word while Juice grabbed Gracie's hand and led her back into the kitchen where he poured them each a cup of coffee.

Gracie blew on her cup and looked at Juice, concern written all over her face. "I feel so bad for Tara. I know she really loves Jax, and he feels the same way about her. And Gemma's actually really great, you know? I just hope they can all get over their history and get along."

Juice sat his cup on the counter and walked over to Gracie, kissing her on the cheek. She looked into his eyes and gave him a small smile. "What was that for, Ortiz?"

He simply smiled. "I love how you worry about everyone being happy. I love how you want everyone to be this big, loving family. I love that Gemma likes you already. I just love you, Gracie Jane."

Gracie leaned up on her toes to kiss him again, but Juice smiled playfully before backing out of her reach. She smiled before placing her hands on her hips and raising her eyebrows. "Tired of me already?"

Juice's grin widened as he shook his head. "You're insatiable, woman. And no, I could never get tired of you. We just don't have time for that. We gotta get dressed and get going."

Gracie just smiled at the sweet, goofy expression on his face. "And where do we need to go?"

Juice grasped her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen and back down the hallway. "We've both got the whole day off, sweetheart. I'm taking you on a date."

* * *

Today had been the most perfect day of Juice's life. And as he lay in his bed, reliving every fantastic second of it in his mind, he couldn't help but smile. It was one of those days that he would remember forever.

_As soon as they had finished their coffees, they both got dressed, Juice wearing his usual hoodie and cargo pants, while Gracie wore the only other outfit that Tara had packed for her the day before; dark blue skinny jeans, a tight long-sleeved purple v-neck, and her black Chucks. They climbed onto the back of Juice's bike and rode to the little diner just outside of Charming, where they ate a huge, greasy breakfast and laughed about everything they'd seen in the clubhouse that morning._

_When they were both full of waffles and bacon, they hopped back onto Juice's Dyna and rode a couple of hours to Yosemite, taking in some of the most beautiful sites either of them had ever seen. They rode all over the park, stopping every few miles so that they could take a million pictures with Gracie's camera. They grabbed some food at a little roadside market and had a picnic deep within the park, talking nonstop like they always did about life, dreams, and how much they love each other._

_When they got back to Charming a few hours later, Juice asked her what she wanted to do and she told him that she wanted to see his apartment above the weed shop. He was hesitant, not sure what Gracie would think of his place, but when she explained that she wanted to be alone with him but wasn't quite ready to hang out at her house yet, he reluctantly agreed._

_He should have known that there was nothing to be afraid of. Gracie's face lit up when they walked into his little apartment. She didn't comment on how empty or impersonal it was. She didn't notice how freakishly clean he kept it. She just walked right into his living room and sat down in front of his huge plasma screen and his hundreds of video games. She turned to him and smiled. "Holy shit, baby. This is the biggest TV that I've ever seen and you have every one of my favorite games. Is it weird that I'm totally turned on right now?"_

_They spent the rest of the night on Juice's big leather couch drinking a few beers, eating Chinese takeout, and taking turns beating each other at Xbox; Juice easily winning Call of Duty while Gracie destroyed him at Resident Evil._

_At some point towards the end of the night, Gracie started rubbing his thigh, and before he knew what was happening, the games were forgotten and they were both naked and having mind blowing sex on his sofa, Gracie sitting in his lap, rocking her hips and moaning in a way that made Juice forget his own name. When they finished, they walked to Juice's bedroom and crawled in his bed, setting his alarm clock since Gracie had to go back to work the next morning._

Juice looked over at Gracie sleeping next to him and smiled. For the first time in his life, he could picture a bright future instead of only dwelling on the dark days of his past. He let his thoughts briefly drift back to the baby he imagined earlier that day. _Maybe we can really have a life together. Maybe someday we can even have a family._ He kissed her softly on the forehead before whispering, "I'm going to make you so happy, Gracie Jane." He then fell into a peaceful sleep, lying next to the only woman he would ever want by his side.

* * *

Gracie felt awful making Juice get up so early the next morning, but he swore he didn't mind driving her back to TM at 5am so that she could pick up her car and get ready for work. She got into her Mustang and drove back to her house while Juice caught a few more hours of sleep at the clubhouse. When she got to her place, she showered and changed as quickly as possible, still feeling uneasy in the house where she had been attacked just days before. She would always hate Joshua Kohn for hurting Tara, but now she hated him even more for making her scared of the one place that had ever truly felt like home.

Gracie had been working for five hours, and so far, she was having a great shift. She loved her job and was thrilled to be back to work after her few days off. Her manager didn't question Tara's story about her injuries, which were almost healed, and her patients had all been pleasant and a pleasure to take care of. And when she wasn't busy, every free moment was spent staring into space, grinning like an idiot, daydreaming about the amazing time she had with Juice the day before.

She had just finished lunch with Tara, who had not only told her that she and Jax had been sleeping together for the last three nights, but also that Abel was finally going to be released from the hospital the following day. Gracie was so happy for them. Tara and Jax loved each other and deserved to be happy, and Abel was so sweet and such a fighter. She was beyond relieved that he was finally going home to his family.

Grace was on her way back to the ER when she saw a tall blonde woman in a pantsuit blocking the doorway, looking down at a file in her hands.

Gracie smiled. "Um, excuse me, ma'am. I need to get through."

The woman raised her eyes and plastered a fake grin on her face. "You're Grace Anderson, correct?"

Gracie just nodded. The woman stuck out her hand for Gracie to shake. "I'm Agent June Stahl with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. I'm sorry to bother you at your place of work, but could I have a moment of your time?"

Gracie tried to control the slight tremor running through her as she shook the agent's hand. "Um, sure, of course, but just a few minutes. I need to get back to work."

Agent Stahl gestured over to a bench in the hallway where the two sat down. Stahl reopened the file in her hands and smiled. "Let's see here…Grace Jane Anderson. 28 years old. Daughter of James and Rose Anderson, both deceased. It looks like your father, Captain Anderson, was quite a war hero. I'm sorry for your loss."

Gracie tilted her head to the side, wondering where the hell this woman was going with all of this. "Thank you. I'm very proud of his service."

Agent Stahl offered Gracie a sympathetic smile, this one even more artificial than the first. "It says here you graduated at the top of your class on the military base in Germany and that you graduated with honors from the University of Chicago School of Nursing, despite the tragic loss of both your parents. You had a stellar reputation at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago until recently when you transferred to St. Thomas here in Charming. That's all very impressive, Miss Anderson."

Grace crossed her arms over her chest. "That's very nice of you to say, Agent Stahl, but could you please tell me what this is all about?"

Stahl nodded, closing the file in her lap and looking into Gracie's eyes. "It has come to the attention of the ATF that you have recently become involved with a member of the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, a Mr. Juan Carlos Ortiz…"

Gracie stood up and stared down at Stahl. "He's my boyfriend. What business is that of yours?"

Agent Stahl stood up, the pleasant façade fading away as she looked at Gracie with disdain. She leaned in so that she was only a few inches from Grace's face. "I'm just wondering how the sweet little, army brat daughter of an American hero got mixed up with a thug. Tell me honey, how would dear old daddy feel about you sleeping with a gang member?"

Gracie could feel the redness swell in her cheeks as she balled her hands into fists at her side. All nervousness that she was previously feeling in this bitch's presence had been replaced with pure anger. Grace's voice was calm but ice cold. "How dare you talk about my father. You don't know anything about him or Juan Carlos Ortiz."

Stahl huffed. "I know that your dad would be ashamed of you and I know that your boyfriend is a criminal."

Gracie's eyes narrowed as she stared at the heartless woman in front of her. "Juice is a wonderful person and my father would be happy and proud that I'm with a good man who loves me."

Grace turned and walked down the hall but paused before walking through the door. She turned around and looked the ATF agent square in the eyes. "And don't you ever speak to me again without a warrant."

Gracie walked through the door and gasped when she ran right into Gemma. "Jesus Gem, you gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here?"

Gemma placed her hands on Gracie's arms, squeezing gently. "I was here to see Abel. I came down to say hello to you when I saw that ATF bitch lurking in the waiting room. Figured she was here for you and I wanted to make sure you were alright."

Gracie looked at Gemma and shook her head, adrenaline causing her hands to tremble. "Did you hear what she said to me? About Juice? About my father? What the hell did she even want with me?"

Gemma nodded before pulling Gracie in for a hug. "She's just trying to rile us up, trying to get to the guys through their old ladies. Don't you worry about one god damn word that came out of that bitch's mouth. You did really good. Ok, sweetheart?"

Gracie sighed and nodded. "Ok."

Gemma kissed her on the forehead and grinned. "I'm proud of you, Grace. You held your own. Juice is a lucky man."

* * *

After going home to change and pack up some clothes, Gracie called Juice and asked if she could spend the night at his apartment. She knew from his texts that he would be working all night, and didn't want to bother him at the clubhouse, but Tara was spending the night at Jax's again and she just wasn't ready to spend the night alone at her house.

Juice gladly picked her up and took her over to his apartment, grateful for the small break in his otherwise clusterfuck of a day. He kissed her soundly and gave her a key before driving back to the clubhouse for church. It had been a terrible fucking day but he didn't want any of that to land on his girl. Gracie had seemed so stressed out from the fed showing up at her work that he didn't have the heart to tell her that Stahl had also harassed Tara, thrown Cherry in lock up, raided the clubhouse, and arrested Bobby for murder. Most of his day had been spent hacking Opie and Donna's bank accounts, which he felt horrible about. He loved Opie, but he had to follow Clay's orders to see if it was possible that Opie had turned, something that Juice found nearly impossible to believe. He was on his way to church so that Opie could explain what the fuck the feds had done to his family.

* * *

Gracie was awakened by soft kisses on her forehead, a thumb gently caressing her cheek. Juice's voice was little more than a whisper. "Gracie Jane? Wake up, Gracie. You gotta get up now, sweetheart?"

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and blearily looked over at the clock. It was flashing 4:23am. Her voice was tired, her head still foggy with sleep. "Baby? Are you alright? What happened?"

He nodded before kissing her lips. "I'm fine, sweetheart. I'll explain everything. Just get dressed. We have to hurry."

While Gracie was throwing on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, Juice told her everything; about Bobby getting arrested, Jax and Opie busting Cherry out of jail, and about sneaking her out of the country along with Cameron Hayes, who was finally well enough to leave the cabin. The club wanted Gracie to see Cameron one more time before he went to Canada to make sure his wound was healing and his infection was gone. Gracie didn't have time to process any of this as she tied her hair into a low messy bun and zipped up one of Juice's hoodies over her clothes. Before she was even completely awake, Juice was strapping his helmet onto her head and they were speeding down the road and out of town.

When they arrived at the cabin about an hour later, Jax and Gemma were waiting outside for them. Jax immediately pulled Juice over to the truck to help load it up while Gemma took Gracie inside to Cameron.

When the Irishman looked up from the couch and saw Gracie, he grinned. "Ah, there's my little guardian angel."

Gracie smiled, walking over to him and giving him a hug. "It's nice to see you again, Cameron. You look so much better."

He nodded. "I feel better, Lass. Thanks to you."

Gracie got right to work, changing his bandage one more time and assessing his wound, confirming to Gemma that he was almost completely healed and ready for the journey home.

The two women helped him outside where Jax and Happy were waiting. Juice was still installing some new GPS system in the front of the truck. When Happy pulled Cameron away from them, Gracie briefly made eye contact with the tall, dark, and handsome Son from Tacoma.

She shyly smiled up at him. "Hi, Happy. I'm not sure if you remember me from the other night. I'm Grace."

Happy glanced at her for only a moment before wordlessly turning towards the truck with Cameron. Just then, Gracie felt Jax throw an arm around her shoulder. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed, watching Happy walk away. "He hates me. He's Juice's brother, and he hates me."

Jax shook his head while taking a drag from his cigarette. "He doesn't hate you, darlin'. He just doesn't know what to say to you. Hap's a great guy and a great Son. He probably still feels bad about hitting on you."

Gracie felt awful. "It wasn't his fault. He didn't know I was with Juice and I was dressed like a porn star."

Jax chuckled. "Not a porn star, Gracie…maybe, like, a really expensive escort…"

"Jax!" Gracie shoved him away, causing him to bust up laughing.

His lips parted into his cocky grin. "Just kidding, doll. You looked absolutely beautiful at the party." He tilted her head up with his hand when he saw her roll her eyes. "Don't worry about Hap. He'll come around. Besides, he's not much of a talker anyway."

Gracie glanced over once more at Happy. She was embarrassed to admit this about herself, but she couldn't stand it when people didn't like her. She didn't know how she was going to do it, or how long it was going to take, but Gracie was determined that one day she and Happy Lowman were going to be friends.

A few minutes later, Cherry and Kip came out of the cabin, both looking heartbroken. Cherry ran up to Gracie and gave her a big hug. "Thanks for everything, Gracie. I wish I could keep in touch." She leaned in and whispered. "And take care of Half-Sack for me, Ok? He's going to need somebody."

Gracie squeezed her tighter and nodded her head. "Of course. I'll miss you. Take care of yourself and be safe."

Juice came out of the truck and over to Gracie's side, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her close. She wiped a tear from her eye as she watched Cherry say goodbye to Kip, the younger man looking like his world was crashing down around him. When the truck pulled away, Gracie walked over to the prospect and gave him a hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie."

She watched as Kip discreetly blinked the tears from his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm alright. I just…I, uh, really thought she was going to be my old lady, you know?"

Gracie just nodded. "I know, Kip. I know." She looked over her shoulder and saw Juice motioning for her to go back to his bike. She held Kip's hand and gently led him back over to everyone else. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go home."

* * *

As soon as they got back to Charming, Gemma enlisted Gracie to help with Abel's coming home party that night. She spent the entire afternoon at Jackson's house cleaning, cooking, and blowing up balloons. Juice picked her up around 5:30 to take her back to her house, where she quickly showered and changed into a nice pair of jeans, black ballet flats, and a silky black top, letting her hair air dry into natural, loose big waves.

When she and Juice arrived back at Jax's around 6:30, the party was already in full swing. Gracie couldn't help but smile at the big bad bikers around her, all being turned to mush at the site of Abel. Jax looked so proud and happy, with both Abel and Tara by his side. Clay was being friendly, Piney wasn't drunk yet, and even Gemma seemed completely relaxed and content. It seemed that everything was right in Samcro's world.

Gracie was just coming out of the kitchen when she bumped into someone carrying a stack full of plates and cups. She quickly grabbed the mess before it all fell to the floor. "Oh crap, I am so sorry. Are you ok? Did I make you spill something? I'm so sorry!"

Gracie looked up to see Donna Winston smiling and shaking her head. "It's just a little water on my shirt. Really, I'm fine. I have two kids, so I'm more accustomed to dripping in chocolate milk and apple juice."

Gracie threw the plates and cups in a nearby trashcan before reaching out to shake her hand. "Oh, it's Donna, right? I'm Grace. It's so nice to meet you."

Donna smiled warmly at her. "It's nice to meet you too. I was talking to Tara earlier. She said that you guys have been friends forever and that you moved here from Chicago. I went to high school with Tara, but I haven't seen her in…god, like, 10 years."

Gracie looked over at Opie sitting on the sofa, two kids balanced on each knee. "Well, you have a beautiful family. I've only met Opie a few times, but he seems like a great guy."

Donna looked over at the same scene and Gracie could see the love in her eyes. "Yeah, I'm actually pretty lucky. My daughter's name is Ellie. She's ten. And my eight year old is Kenny. Opie's a great dad." Donna glanced over to Grace. "Do you have any kids?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, not yet." She looked over to the fireplace where Juice was talking to Chibs, Abel tucked securely in his arms. His eyes met Gracie's for just a moment and he winked at her before returning his focus to Chibs. Gracie was surprised by how natural it seemed to see a baby being rocked gently in Juice's arms. She smiled to herself before looking back at Donna. "But maybe someday."

Two hours later, just a few of the party goers were still hanging around, listening to Piney and Gemma tell stories about when Jax and Opie were little and about all the havoc they used to wreak around TM. Gracie was sitting beside Tara, laughing at the memories, when Jax and Clay's phones started to ring almost simultaneously. The ladies had no idea what was happening, but within minutes everyone with a kutte had practically sprinted out the door, leaving only Kip at the house with orders to keep everyone inside.

30 minutes later Gemma, Tara, and Gracie all stood up and gasped when they saw a distraught Jax stagger back into the house, his eyes bloodshot and swollen from crying.

Gemma went to him, holding his face in her hands. "What is it baby? What happened?"

Jax barely got the words out, his voice hoarse and strangled with tears. "Mom, it's…it's Donna."

* * *

Juice was standing with his brothers behind the yellow police tape just a few feet from where Opie had fallen to his knees, still holding the pale, lifeless body of his wife in his arms. He watched in agony as Opie's entire world fell apart right in front of him, the strong son of a First Nine shattering into a lost, grieving mess.

From what information he could gather from the police, the shooting looked gang land. _Fucking Niners._ Juice had warned the club that selling guns to the Mayans would piss off Laroy and his crew.

Juice watched in anguish as Chibs and Hale finally pulled Opie away from Donna. And as he continued to stare down at the woman he had spoken to just hours before, one single thought kept running through his mind. _She's an old lady. They retaliated against an old lady. The only reason she's dead is because she was married to a Son._ He shut his eyes and shook his head, trying to stop his thoughts from streaming in, but he could feel himself starting to drown in his thinking. Suddenly, when he opened his eyes and stared at the horror in front of him, the body lying dead in the street had changed. Gone was the short brown hair that was there before, replaced by pretty auburn waves matted with blood. The vacant blue eyes staring up at nothing transformed into light green orbs that, always so bright, were now vacant. He only saw _her_ small hands, _her_ familiar curves, _her_ favorite clothes soaked and stained crimson. He tried his best to tell himself it wasn't real, that it was just his fucking brain trying to kill him, but no matter how much he tried to reason with himself, he just couldn't see Donna anymore. His terrified, devastated eyes only saw Gracie, his beautiful sweet Gracie Jane, lying dead in the street…and it was all his fault.

He could feel the bile rising in his throat and ran as fast as he could behind a nearby bush, throwing up until he was dry heaving. After a few minutes he felt a firm hand pat his back and heard Chibs saddened voice behind him. "Juicey. Come on, boy. Ya gotta be strong now. We have to get back to the clubhouse."

Juice stood up, straightening his kutte and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. His thoughts were dark but finally calm, as he realized with absolute certainty what he now had to do. He turned and embraced his brother before walking to his Harley and driving towards the clubhouse, away from the nightmare behind him.

* * *

Gracie sat at the bar with Gemma, both still crying, unable to stop their tears no matter how much whiskey they shared. Gracie cried for the woman she had just met hours earlier, cried for the man that so obviously loved her, and most of all, cried for the children that would now have to face the challenges and joys and sorrows of life without their mother.

When the doors of the clubhouse opened, the members of Samcro silently walked in and went straight to the chapel. When Gracie saw Juice walk through the door, she stood to greet him, but she stopped when he barely spared her a glance and quickened his pace to the other room.

Gracie looked at Gemma, lost and confused. The older woman just shook her head. "Don't worry, sweetheart. This always happens. Whenever shit starts to go bad, their first instinct is to distance themselves. They don't want whatever is going down to land on us. I'm actually surprised Jax let Tara stay with him tonight."

Gracie stared at the chapel doors before looking back to Gemma. "You think Juice will try to push me away?"

Gemma lit a cigarette and nodded. "He just needs some time to get his head straight and work his shit out. But everything will be alright. Don't you worry, baby. Everything is going to be ok."

* * *

Gemma was right. Juice was doing everything in his power to avoid her. When she woke up in his dorm room the morning after the shooting, she realized that he had never come to bed. She threw on some clothes and walked outside, immediately noticing that his bike was missing from the lot. She texted him about a million times, worried sick since she had no idea where he was or what he was doing. After about an hour he responded with a simple one line text. _I'm fine. Go to Gemma's –J._

Gracie, too tired and depressed to question him, simply did as she was told. She drove to Gemma's, tailed by Kip the whole way, and spent the morning helping to make funeral arrangements and preparing food to take to Opie's that night. Throughout the day, Gracie couldn't stop herself from sending a few more texts, hoping desperately for any reply.

_Please be careful today, whatever you're doing. –G_

_I'm still with Gemma. Let me know if you need anything. –G_

_Please tell me what I can do to make this better.-G_

_I love you so much, Juice.-G_

Gracie waited all day, willing her phone to ring or beep, but it remained silent, all of her attempts to reach Juice going unanswered. She knew he was alright. That someone would call her to tell her if something was wrong. _He just doesn't want to see me._

That night, Gracie slept in Gemma's guest room, tossing and turning, only getting a few broken hours of uneasy rest. Not only were her thoughts a mess, and her heart still saddened, but she had already become used to falling asleep with Juice lying next to her.

She got up early while the rest of the house was still asleep, driving back to her house to shower and change for work. Her entire shift was a blur, going through the motions, doing what needed to be done, but her heart wasn't there. She called and texted Juice several more times throughout the day, although this time was not surprised when she received no responses.

When she got home from work, she changed into a tank top and yoga pants, and once again dialed Juice's number. Just as she suspected, her call went straight to voicemail. She tossed her phone on the sectional and took a moment to look around the living room. She had loved the house so much when she first moved in, but now all she saw when she looked around were all the places that Kohn had hit her, the way his blood seeped into the carpet and the way his brain matter clung to the wall in Tara's bedroom. She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. _I'll never feel safe here again. _This would be her first night sleeping in the house since the attack, and she was doing it alone. Tara was sleeping at Jax's again and Juice just wasn't going to come to her rescue tonight.

She went to her room and locked the door, but after a few hours of restlessness, she went to the living room, curled up in a blanket, and turned on the TV. Sleep just wasn't going to happen tonight. She was too surrounded by ghosts from the past and missing the only person in the world that could make them all go away.

* * *

Tara had come home early the next morning to get ready so that she and Gracie could drive together to Donna's funeral. Gracie put on her black knee length, sleeveless sheath dress and a pair of low black heels, while Tara donned black pants and a black button down shirt. When they were ready to go, the two best friends didn't say a word to each other. They simply embraced for several minutes before wiping their tears away and climbing into the Cutlass.

Gracie had never seen so many bikes or so many patches. It seemed like hundreds of Sons had turned out to support Opie in his time of grief. As the processional made its way to the grave site, Gracie sat beside Tara since Jax had, surprisingly, not shown up with the others. Gracie watched, heartbroken, as the members of Samcro lifted Donna's casket out of the hearse and over to the burial site. All eyes were on Opie and his family, except for Gracie's, which were set firmly on Juice, the love of her life, a man that she had neither seen nor talked to in almost three days.

Gracie shed fresh tears as she looked at the man she loved more than anything. His eyes were dull, his skin sallow, and she could swear that he had lost weight in the short time since she had seen him. When he walked right in front of her chair, she reached her hand out to him, but as soon as she made contact with his fingers, he lifted his hand away, never once looking down. Gracie swallowed back her tears and tried to remember what Gemma had told her a few days ago. _He wants to protect you. He just needs some space. Be patient. Everything will be alright._

She couldn't see him, but could somehow feel him as he took his place behind her chair and stood as the funeral began. And even though he wasn't talking to her, even though he refused to even look at her, his presence was a comfort. After being without him for so many days, just knowing that Juice was an arm's length away made the tragedy of the day easier for Gracie to bear.

They made it through the rest of the service, only distracted once when Jax briefly appeared to kiss Donna's casket and get his kutte from Tara before walking away once again. As the minister said his final prayer and the crowd started to disperse, Gracie jumped up and followed Juice, who was already walking away towards his bike.

She tried to call out to him softly, struggling to keep pace with his longer strides. "Juice?" He walked on, not even acknowledging her existence. "Juice, please." She finally reached him, pulling his arm back firmly and forcing him to turn and face her. "Juice, please stop!"

When Juice turned around she barely recognized the man staring down at her, his usually warm brown eyes always so full of love had been replaced by a cold, hard stare that was completely foreign to her. His voice was equally detached. "What do you want, Grace?"

Gracie just stared at him in confusion. "What do I…I just…I want to make sure you're alright. I haven't talked to you in…"

He shook his head. "I haven't talked to you because I've had shit to do that is none of your business. And you blowing up my phone for the past few days didn't help."

Gracie looked down to the ground and bit her lip. _He's protecting you. He's trying to keep you safe. _"I'm…I'm so sorry if I was bothering you. I know you guys must have had a rough few days. I…"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "No, Grace. You have no fucking clue what my brothers and I have gone through the last few days. Because you're not part of this life, you're not part of the club, and you could have no idea what the hell this all means in our world."

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears in her eyes. _He's trying to push you away. He's protecting you._ She raised her eyes to him and nodded. "You're right. That was a stupid thing to say. I have no idea. I just…I've missed you and I've been so worried about you."

She reached her hand out to touch his cheek, but when she made contact he backed away as though she had burned him. She quickly pulled her hand back and used it to wipe the stray tear that she had somehow let fall. Her voice was cracking, just like her heart. "Juice, I…Gemma told me that you would do this to me."

He stared at her as if she were a stranger. "That I would do what?"

She met his gaze, trying to see something familiar. "That you would try and push me away, to protect me, because of what happened to Donna. She said that all the guys do that to their old ladies…"

Juice quickly interrupted her. "You're not an old lady, Grace. Have I ever called you that? Have I ever actually said the words?"

Gracie shook her head before looking down to the ground. "No…you're right. You never have. I shouldn't have assumed that. I just…" She looked up at him again, this time using every bit of strength that she had left in her crumbling spirit. "You love me, Juice. I know you do. You love me as much as I love you. And the way you're acting right now? That's not you. That's someone who's scared and trying like hell to protect me, but it's not you. Please, please don't be like this. I love you."

For just a moment, Gracie saw a small crack in his armor, but the love in his eyes was fleeting, replaced by a cold determination. "You're right, Grace. I do love you. You're a great girl and we've been really good together." He gestured to the cemetery around them. "But this? All this? It made it very clear to me why we just aren't going to work. Reminded me of all the reasons I should have never started this in the first place."

Gracie shook her head violently, refusing to believe his words. "You don't mean that, Juice…Gemma said…she said that you were…"

He sighed. "That I was what, Gracie? Just trying to protect you? Of course that's part of it. My life is dangerous and you're a sweet girl. Of course you need to stay away from me right now. Opie's wife just got fucking shot! Of course I don't want that to happen to you!" He looked around, realizing that he had raised his voice, and took a deep breath, trying to control his breathing. He pulled Gracie a few feet away to a more private area and leaned in so that only she could hear them. "Do you know what I saw when I left the party the other night, Grace? I saw my brother Opie, a man I have admired and respected since the day I patched, completely fall apart into nothing because he lost his woman."

Gracie nodded. "Of course he did. He loved her."

Juice scoffed. "Yeah he did. So much that since she died he's become fucking useless, a fucking shell of the man that he used to be."

Gracie's eyes widened in disgust. "How…how can you even say that? How can you be so heartless? He's grieving, Juice."

Juice shook his head. "I know I sound like an asshole, but seeing the way that Opie wrecked himself over a woman just reminded me that trying to have a relationship with someone in this life is crazy."

Her eyes narrowed. This isn't Juice. This isn't her Juice saying these words. "You don't mean that."

Juice finally reached out to grasp her hands, but somehow his touch felt empty. He looked into her eyes and tried to sound sincere. "Listen Grace. I do care you, but you knew going into this that I was a Son. I love you, but I will always love the club more. I will always put them first. Opie didn't. He put his family first. And I'm not saying that it was wrong for him to do that…I mean, he has kids and shit. I get it. But before you and I get too serious, I think it's best if we just walk away, before you become...before you become a liability." Gracie watched him as he paused and took a deep breath, seemingly steeling himself for the words that were about to come next. "Opie may have put Donna above the club, but I'm just not willing to risk my life and the lives of my brothers because of some pussy."

The tears that Gracie had been holding back fell freely but silently, as she tried to keep from getting physically sick. _He's not trying to protect me after all. Gemma was wrong. He does love the club more than me. Of course he does. It's his family. We haven't even been together that long. He never once called me his old lady. I just assumed…I just…Gemma was wrong…Everything is not going to be alright._

Gracie was only vaguely aware of an arm wrapping around her waist. She heard Tara's voice as an echo, as though she were a thousand miles away from her instead of only inches. "Are you alright Gracie Jane? Why are you so pale? Jesus Juice, what the hell happened?"

When she heard Juice's voice she raised her eyes to look at his face. He averted his eyes and focused only on Tara. "You should get her home." He turned around and started walking away, Gracie sure that she heard him say, "Goodbye sweetheart," before quickening his pace and walking out of site.

When Tara looked at Gracie, her eyes welled up with tears. "Gracie, honey? Say something please? What happened?"

Gracie was frozen, unable to speak, unable to think, barely able to breathe. She looked at Tara, trying to focus, but the world around her started to spin and get blurry before the sunlight disappeared and everything finally went black.

* * *

Juice was sitting on the floor in his dorm room, trying to destroy the images of Gracie now forever burned in his memory; the tears streaming down her grief stricken face, her horror and disgust at his coldness, the overwhelming hurt in her eyes when he walked away. He had prayed that she would fight back, call him an asshole and realize that she was better off without him. Part of him even wished that she would see how transparent his bullshit really was, and would know that every horrible word out of his mouth was a lie. _But she didn't. She believed every fucking thing I said. That crazy girl has no idea how much I fucking love her and she honestly believed that I could walk away. _He had already smoked god knows how much weed and was just finishing off his bottle of Jack, but nothing could make him forget, nothing could fade his guilt, nothing could quiet his heartbroken mind long enough for him to sleep. He hung his head in his hands, finally allowing the tears he had fought for the last three days to fall. _I did what I had to do. I kept her safe. I did something selfless for the first fucking time in my life. _He gulped down the last of the whiskey before throwing the empty bottle against his door, letting it shatter all around him. _Yeah, you hurt her. You hurt her really fucking bad, but at least she's not lying dead in a truck somewhere with a gunshot to the fucking head. At least I'll never have to go home to our kids and tell them their mommy is dead because she was crazy enough to fall in love with a member of an MC. At least she can go on with her life and find someone else, someone who might actually have a chance at deserving her. _He somehow crawled up off the floor and staggered into the bathroom, numb to the shards of glass cutting his skin. He opened his drawers, searching for the bottle of Oxy that had remained untouched since that very first morning with Gracie at the bakery. He took two of the pills out and looked at them in his hand, pausing only a moment before grabbing two more out of the bottle. He swallowed all four, _not enough to die, even though I deserve it for how I talked to her…just enough to sleep. I just want to fucking sleep. _He looked up at the mirror and stared at his reflection, hating himself more in that moment than he ever had before. _You deserve to hurt this bad. _He went back to his spot on the floor and sat down, waiting impatiently for sleep to overtake him, to erase his reality and the knowledge that he would live the rest of his meaningless life without Gracie.

* * *

Chibs had been drinking at the bar with his brothers, commiserating over their loss and comforting each other in this terrible time of sorrow. He looked around the room and realized that he hadn't seen Juicey since they all arrived back from the funeral. He abandoned his Jameson at the bar and walked back to Juice's dorm, determined to bring him out to the party. None of his brothers should be alone right now. They all needed to grieve together.

He pounded on the door for several seconds, but heard no response. "Juicey! Hey, Juicey boy! Get your Puerto Rican ass out here and come have a drink with your family!"

When he heard no answer to his words, Chibs opened the door. "Juice, what are you…oh, fucking hell!" Juice was sprawled on the floor, lying on a bed of cut glass. Chibs went to his side and dropped to his knees, slapping the young man hard in the face, but Juice never responded. He checked his pulse, which was way too fucking slow, and tried to count his shallow and sluggish breaths. "Jesus fucking Christ, boy!" He used all his strength to lift his unconscious brother into a sitting position and then shoved his fingers down Juice's throat as hard as he could. "Come on, Juicey. Get it out. Whatever the fuck you took, get it out!"

Just a few seconds later, Juice was vomiting what appeared to be straight Jack Daniels all over the floor. Chibs let out an audible sigh of relief. "Oh, thank fuck. You fucking idiot."

He looked down at Juice who was trying to mumble something but was unable to form coherent words. _At least he's trying_. He suddenly saw someone walk by the door and he screamed out as loud as he could. "Hey! A little help in here!"

Happy appeared in the doorway, his eyes widening at the scene before him. Chibs quickly threw Hap his phone from the center of the room. "Call Gracie, Hap. Tell her that Juice OD'd."

* * *

Gracie ran every red light between her driveway and the clubhouse. From the moment that she picked up her phone and heard Happy's voice on the other end, all that mattered was getting to Juice. The way that he broke up with her, the venom in his voice, the vial things that he said, the way that she had passed out in Tara's arms and the hours that she had spent crying on her kitchen floor…none of that mattered. In that moment, Gracie didn't know if the man she loved more than life itself was alive or dead. All that mattered was getting to him.

She barely remembered the drive but somehow she arrived at TM in record time. She ran as fast as she could, past the bar and croweaters, past the other Sons looking at her in confusion and concern, straight down the hall to Juice's door. She threw it opened and gasped at the site in front of her.

Juice was now in his bed, but the vomit and shards of glass were still all over the carpet. He was sickeningly pale and barely awake, sitting up against his headboard with Chibs and Happy standing over him, worry etched across both of their faces.

When Chibs saw her, he quickly rushed to her side and pulled her close. "I'm not sure how many he took, love, but I found this in the bathroom." She looked down at the bottle of Oxy in his hand. "And I know he drank at least one bottle of Jack, but it could have been more. Seemed like he puked up a fucking barrel."

Gracie went to the bed and sat down in front of Juice, immediately checking his pulse and examining his pupils. He definitely overdosed, but it looked like he was going to be alright, that Chibs found him in time before most of the drugs entered his system. Tears of relief fell down her cheeks when she looked up at Chibs and Happy. "He'll be alright now, Chibs. You saved him. I'll stay with him for the rest of the night just to make sure, but I think he's going to be ok."

Chibs and Hap both sighed in relief. Happy nodded to Gracie before turning to look at Chibs. "I'll go get a prospect and some of the girls to start cleaning this up."

When he left the room, Chibs leaned down and kissed Gracie on the top of the head. "This little fucker scared the hell out of me tonight." Gracie just looked up at him and nodded. He shook his head. "What the fuck was he thinking? And where have you been all day, love? I haven't seen you since the funeral."

Gracie ran her hand over Juice's cheek and bit her lip. "I was at home. Juice, he, um…he ended things with me earlier today."

Chibs shook his head in disbelief. "That's impossible, Lass. That man loves you. I know he does."

Chibs heart broke for the girl in front of him, smiling sadly. She looked at him briefly before focusing back on Juice. "Maybe sometimes that isn't enough."

Chibs placed his fingers under Gracie's chin and turned her face up to meet his gaze. "Well, Lass. If he did break up with you today, he obviously didn't feel too good about his decision. Look at what he did to himself." He kissed her once more on the forehead before turning and walking out of the room.

Gracie went to the bathroom and got a cold washcloth. She ran it over his still clammy skin and founder herself whispering to him how much she loved him over and over and over.

After a few moments, he raised his heavy head and opened his eyes just enough to barely focused on her. His words were quiet and slurred. "Gracie Jane? Sweetheart? Is that you?"

She continued to run the washcloth over his skin, moving from his face, down his neck, and over his chest, every inch of him dripping in sweat. "Shhh. It's alright, baby. It's me. I'm here. You're going to be alright, Juice."

He shook his head from side to side, moaning incoherently before the words were able to come out. "No, you were dead, Gracie. I saw you. You were dead and it was my fault and I couldn't let that happen. I had to make you go away. I couldn't watch you die. I couldn't kill you."

Gracie wept as she realized the meaning behind his words and the agony with which he said them. Before she could collect her thought, he looked up at her with a little more clarity and finally broke down, sobbing so hard his entire body was shaking. She could barely make out his words through the tears. "I didn't mean it, Gracie. Oh god, I didn't mean it, sweetheart. I love you. Please believe me. I love you so much. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Gracie pulled him in close and held him against her chest, running her hands over his back and kissing his head. Her tone was warm and comforting, full of all the love she felt for him. "Shhh. Hush now, baby. Everything is going to be alright." She kissed him again before softly whispering. "Do you remember what you said to me the very first time you took me for a ride on your motorcycle? Do you remember the words, baby?"

She felt him slightly nod and heard the muffled plea against her chest. "Don't let go of me, sweetheart."

Gracie held him tighter as her tears continued to fall. "That's right, baby. And I promised you then, like I'm promising now…I won't let go, baby. I love you. I'm here. And I'm never letting you go."

**Please review…**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hi Everyone! I missed you! I had a great time on vacation, but now I'm well rested, very tan, and ready to get back to my story. I actually tried sitting down and writing a few times at the beach, but the saltwater and rum got to my brain and I couldn't concentrate :) But I'm back now, so here we go.**

**There was an incredible response to the last chapter. Thank you so much. I appreciate every review and every follow, and your kind words mean the world to me! It was a very challenging chapter for me to write, but all of you truly made it worth the effort.**

**This chapter takes place in the time between seasons one and two. Hope you like it!**

Chapter 26

Juice barely opened his eyes before immediately closing them, the small amount of daylight filtering into the room causing his already pounding head to spin. He threw one arm over his eyes while placing the other over his stomach in a futile attempt to calm the rolling waves of nausea coursing through his body. Either he was dying, or he was experiencing the worst hang over of his entire fucking life. _Jesus Christ. What the fuck did I do to myself last night?_ All of the sudden the sickening waves got stronger as Juice remembered the events from the day before. _I watched my brother bury his wife, and then I broke the heart of the only woman I'm ever going to love._ He remembered riding back to the clubhouse after the funeral, grabbing a bottle of Jack from behind the bar, and going to his dorm room to drink himself into oblivion. The rest was a blur.

He was about to roll over and try to will himself back to sleep when he felt the bed shift and heard soft breathing beside him. He opened his eyes and turned his head and found Gracie lying on top of the covers, still dressed in the clothes she wore to the funeral, sleeping soundly.

Suddenly, the fragmented pieces of his memory started fitting back together. _I was fucked up, like, really fucked up. Oh shit, I took pills. And Chibs and Hap were here for some reason. And then Gracie…_So much of the night was covered in the shadows of his mind, but one thing was perfectly clear. The image of Gracie's face, tear-stained and full of worry, saying she still loved him.

As Juice was about to reach out for a stray lock of hair that had fallen onto Gracie's face, her eyes suddenly shot open and she sat up in bed with a gasp.

She looked over his face with concern as she ran a hand over her cheek. "Oh shit, I can't believe I fell asleep. Are you alright, baby? How are you feeling?"

Juice took her hand and kissed it before staring up at her eyes, dull with exhaustion. She looked so tired. "I'm fine sweetheart. And I feel about as good as I deserve. Gracie, I'm so fucking sorry, I can't even…"

Gracie shook her head. "Stop, Juice. You apologized last night. It's over now."

Juice sat up so that his back rested against his headboard, his hands reaching out for Gracie's. "No. It's not over. I have no idea what I said to you last night. When did you even get here?"

Gracie looked down at their joined hands and sighed. "You overdosed last night. I'm not sure how much you took, but Chibs found you on the floor. He forced you to get sick. If he hadn't found you when he did…" Grace paused as a shudder ran through her body, thinking about the horror of what could have happened. She looked up into his eyes and continued. "Happy called me to come over, to make sure you were ok."

He hung his head, ashamed of himself. "And then what?"

Gracie placed her hands on the side of his face and guided his gaze up to hers. "And then you told me that when Donna died, all you could think about was me dying too. And that you pushed me away because you thought you had to save me. And then you said you were sorry, that you loved me, and that you wanted me to forgive you."

Juice shook his head. "I know what I did, what I said to you was so…fuck, Gracie. I was such an asshole. I don't expect you to forgive me. I…"

Her soft, tired voice interrupted him. "I already did."

He looked up at her in disbelief. "Why?"

Gracie sighed. "Because I know you mean it when you say you're sorry. Because I know you thought you were doing the right thing. Because we all do stupid things when we're scared. Because…" Gracie took a deep breath as tears started to escape her eyes. "Because I could have lost you last night, and nothing matters except you knowing that I love you."

Juice leaned forward to kiss the tears off her cheeks as they wrapped their arms around each other, holding on to one another like anchors in a storm. Juice kept whispering how much he loved her, how sorry he was, how he wished he could take back every horrible word out of his mouth, how much he needed her.

Gracie kissed him softly and caressed his cheek before pulling away. "Juice, I'm going to say something, and then I want to put this behind us, alright?" She waited for him to nod before continuing. "I understand why you were scared. You were afraid something would happen to me, the way it did to Donna. But I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. Nothing is going to happen to me."

Juice shook his head. "Fuck Gracie, I couldn't even protect you from Kohn. What if one of our enemies..."

Gracie placed her hands on either side of his face and stared into his eyes. "That's right. Kohn could have killed me. Or it could be a car accident, or getting hit by a bus, or some terrible illness…" She looked at him pointedly. "Or I could overdose."

Juice tried to look away from her, but she held on tighter to his face and guided his gaze back to her. "My father couldn't stop my mom from dying on that highway. And I couldn't stop my dad from dying in the war. We have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but worrying about it doesn't prevent it from happening…it just robs us of the joy we could have today. I can't predict the future and neither can you. The only thing I know for certain is that every second that I have on this Earth is a second that I want to spend with you."

Juice went to say something, but Gracie gently pressed a finger to his lips. "One more thing, baby. Yesterday was…" She swallowed the lump in her throat thinking about the agony she had gone through the day before. "Yesterday was really hard for me. I love you, Juice. I'll always love you. But you can't do that to me again. You can't walk away like that again. I don't think I could take it."

Juice kissed her lips before pressing his forehead against her own. "It took everything I had to do what I did, and the only reason I was able to was because I thought I was saving your life. But I'll never leave you again, Gracie. I swear it. I don't have it in me. I knew the moment I saw you lying next to me this morning that I couldn't push you away, not for a second time. No matter what you say, I know you'd be safer without me in your life. But I'm too selfish. I'm not strong enough to let you go again."

Gracie sighed and shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?" She kissed his forehead before standing. "Go and take a shower. I'm going to the kitchen to see if I can find some coffee and something to eat."

Juice took a moment to examine the dark circles around her pretty green eyes. "Did you stay awake all night?"

Gracie shrugged her shoulders. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."

He wanted to apologize all over again, but instead he just ran his hand over his head and nodded. "Thanks."

Gracie started to walk towards the door but paused and turned back around to face him. "And Juice?"

He stood slowly from the bed and met her stare. "Yeah?"

Her voice was suddenly firm, her eyes fixed on his in determination. "No more pills."

Juice could see how serious she was. He stared at her intently, his voice filled with sincerity. "I promise."

She nodded and gave him the smallest of smiles before walking out the door.

* * *

Gracie was walking down the hallway towards the bar when Happy turned the corner and she found herself standing in front of him. She stopped and waited silently as his dark eyes examined her face, his usually stern expression seeming even more serious.

She was just about to walk past him when he reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

Gracie looked up at his face, shocked to see that it had softened, and she couldn't stop her eyes from widening in surprise when he actually spoke to her. His voice was deep and raspy, but quiet and almost…kind. "Are you ok?"

She tried to hide her stunned expression with a small smile. "I'm fine, Happy. Thank you for calling me last night, for helping the way you did, for everything."

Happy released her arm as his face returned to stone. He barely nodded before turning away from her and walking back down the hall.

Gracie smiled to herself before making her way to the bar. _Maybe he doesn't hate me after all._

* * *

When Gracie got to the bar Chibs, Kip, Jax, and Tara were all sitting around drinking coffee and eating the breakfast that Gemma had brought by earlier that morning. As soon as Chibs saw her he rose to his feet and walked towards her, softly kissing her on the cheek.

He ran his hand over her hair and then held her face gently in his hands. "How's my girl this morning?"

Gracie stared at him, trying to find the right words to express her gratitude. After a moment she gave up and just threw herself towards his, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

Chibs closed his arms around her and held her close, swaying her gently. He leaned down and whispered against her ear. "Is he alright, love?"

Gracie nodded against his chest before pulling back slightly to stare at his warm brown eyes. "Thanks to you. You saved his life, Chibs."

Chibs just rolled his eyes and grinned. "I shoulda left the idiot alone. Serves him right after what he did to you. As it happens, I love that little shit for some reason. So, did he pull his head out of his arse and make things right with you?"

Gracie smiled. "Yeah, he did. Everything's ok now."

Chibs just smirked. "I knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from you. No one could, Lass."

Chibs pulled away and turned, but stopped when Gracie grabbed his hand.

He was taken back by the sincerity in her eyes and warmth in her voice. "Chibs, I just want you to know that you're one of the best friends I've ever had and I love you."

Chibs smiled down at the kind, open-hearted woman before him and was overcome with the affection he had for her. It was nothing sexual, nothing romantic. He just adored her. He pulled her in close once more, kissing the top of her head. "I love you too, sweet girl."

Chibs and Gracie walked over to the bar, and as soon as Tara noticed her she leapt off her stool and pulled Gracie into a tight hug.

Tara pulled back and looked at her closely. "Jesus, Gracie Jane. I was so freaked out when you left last night. I shouldn't have let you go. Are you ok? Is Juice ok?"

Gracie nodded. "I'm fine, and Juice is alright now. We talked. Everything's better."

Tara's eyes narrowed in disbelief. "Seriously? You guys are back together?"

Gracie tilted her head to the side and sighed. She knew that face. "Knowles, I know you're pissed, but I promise he didn't mean any of it. He was just trying to push me away because he was scared. But we worked it out. Everything's fine, ok? Please don't be mad at him. I love him, and I'm happy. I promise."

Tara crossed her arms over her chest and let out a big exasperated breath. "If you're happy, then I guess I'm happy too."

Gracie just grinned. "Thanks, Doc."

Tara smiled at her only family. "It's you and me, Gracie Jane." She reached out to hold Gracie's hand. "Always."

Gracie squeezed Tara's hand and nodded. "Always."

* * *

As soon as Gracie was settled at the bar next to Chibs and Kip, Tara excused herself to go to the restroom. But as soon as she made her way to the hall, she walked quickly past the bathroom and straight to Juice's dorm.

She lightly knocked at the door and only had to wait a moment before Juice opened the door, wearing only a towel around his waist.

Juice looked surprised but smiled. "Hey Doc, what can I…"

Before Juice could finish his sentence, he was silenced by Tara slapping him across the face with everything she had. He raised a hand to his throbbing cheek and just stared at her, completely stunned.

Tara tried to slow her breathing as she clenched her stinging hand. She took a step towards Juice so that she was only a few inches from his face. "Listen to me, asshole. After you broke up with her yesterday, Gracie was so upset she passed out in my arms. And when she came to, she was a fucking zombie. I got her into the house and tried to get her to eat something, but as soon as she walked into our kitchen she crumpled onto the floor and that's where she stayed, Juice. Crying and sobbing for hours on the floor, trying to figure out what she did wrong, how she was going to go on without you. She's the sweetest woman in the world, and she loves you with everything she has, and you broke her. And I'll never forget that for as long as I live. Now, I understand that Gracie has a good heart and she's forgiven you, but don't think for a second that I have. And if you ever hurt my sister like that again, patch or no patch, I'll kill you."

Juice just nodded his head before looking Tara squarely in the eyes. "If I hurt her like that again, I'll kill myself."

Tara stared at him for a moment longer before turning back to the clubhouse and walking away without another word.

* * *

Juice came out to the bar about five minutes later and joined everyone as they finished breakfast. The air around them was heavy, the conversation forced, as they all tried to talk about anything except the tragedy of Donna's death, which still hung over the clubhouse like a shroud. Chibs and Juice were on edge, still worried about the Niner threat. They told Half-Sack to tale Tara and Gracie back to their house and stay with them throughout the day, which he happily agreed to since he was just as worried as the others. In fact, the only one who didn't seem concerned with the girls' safety was Jax. He just seemed…off. When Gracie looked at the other guys, she saw heartbreak mixed with anger. But the only thing she saw on Jax's face was rage mixed with a conflicting emotion that she just couldn't name.

Juice was going to spend his morning hacking into the Charming and Oakland PD databases to see if he could get any intel on the potential shooter. Chibs was going to try and track down Tig and Clay, neither of whom had been around since the funeral. Jax said he was going to go search for Piney.

Once Kip had escorted Tara and Gracie back to their house, Tara got ready for work while Gracie took a shower and got dressed, wearing a pair of worn out skinny jeans, a loose gray v neck t-shirt, and her black Converse sneakers. Gracie waited at the house while Kip followed Tara to the hospital, and then as soon as he got back, the prospect and Gracie went to the grocery store. She wanted to make some food to take over to Opie's later. She knew it wasn't a lot, but she wanted to help in any way she could.

A few hours later, Gracie pulled her Mustang into Opie's driveway, followed closely by Kip. He helped her get the food she had made out of the car; some lasagna, macaroni and cheese, peach cobbler, and a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies.

She smiled up at the prospect when she saw him juggling the pans in his arms. "Thanks for helping me today, Kip. You were a big help when you weren't eating the cookie dough."

Kip just flashed his sweet grin before making his way to the door. Gracie went to knock but before she could the door swung open and out walked Jax, taking the dishes from her arms.

His usually cocky grin was replaced by a small smile, his flirty voice filled with sadness. "Hey Gracie. What are you doing here, darlin'? What's all this?"

Gracie gave him a small smile before leaning up and kissing his cheek. "I wanted to make some things for Opie and the kids. Just a couple of dinners and some dessert. I hope I'm not intruding. I just wanted to help."

Jax barely smiled and shook his head. "No Gracie, this is great. Ope will really appreciate it. Come on in."

Kip took all the food to the kitchen while Jax led Gracie through the house to the backyard. When they got outside, Gracie looked over and saw Opie's children playing on a small swing set, his little boy sitting on one of the swings, being pushed gently by his older sister. But there was no joy in their play, no happiness in their time together. They both looked simply vacant.

Gracie looked back to Jax, who was lighting a cigarette with slightly trembling hands. And as she stared into his eyes, so strikingly beautiful, she saw that the rage she saw that morning had been replaced with heartbreaking, overwhelming grief.

Gracie reached out to hold Jax's free hand in her own, and when he looked down at her, she could see him desperately trying to blink away the moisture from his eyes.

She squeezed his hand a little tighter. "Jax, I'm so sorry that this has happened. You knew Donna since you were a kid, and Opie is your best friend. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

Jax sighed and looked up to the sky. "I'm lost here, Gracie. I don't know what to do for him. I have no idea how to help. I've tried talking to him for days, but he won't say a word to anyone but the kids."

Gracie looked around. "Where is he now?"

Jax nodded towards the house. "He's locked in his bedroom, been in there for hours. Piney and Opie's mom, Mary, are taking turns watching the kids, but Piney's been on a bender since the shooting and Mary's trying, but she doesn't really know them. Ope and his mom don't have the best relationship." He paused to take a drag off his cigarette. "He's my brother, Gracie. He's my blood. I just want to make this better somehow, and I have no fucking clue how to do it."

Gracie just sighed. "Jax, I know that you want to make his pain go away, but take it from someone who knows. Nothing is going to make him better right now, nothing but time. The loss that he's experienced…it's inconceivable. All you can do is let him know you're here, that you'll help in any way that you can, that you love him. And if it makes a difference, I'll help you the same way. I'm here for you, whatever you need."

Jax threw his cigarette to the ground and pulled her into a tight hug. "Thanks, Gracie."

After a moment, Gracie pulled back and offered a small, reassuring smile to the man in front of her. She looked over at the kids once more before turning once more to Jax. "Do you think it would be alright if I stayed out here for awhile? Tried to talk to you kids?"

Jax looked over at the swing set and nodded. "Sure, darlin'. It couldn't hurt."

* * *

Jax went inside and sat down in the living room, next to an open window facing the backyard. And as he listened to Gracie and the kids, he smiled for the first time in what seemed like ages. This girl was a fucking angel.

_Gracie walked slowly up to the two kids and smiled. When they saw her approach, they stopped swinging but just looked at her silently, not uttering a word. Gracie crouched down in front of the sad little boy in front of her and stuck her hand out. "Hi. It's Kenny, right? My name's Grace. I'm a friend of your Dad's. Is it ok if I sit on one of your swings?"_

_Gracie waited for his tiny hand to shake her own before sitting down beside him. "You know what Kenny? When you were swinging really high a minute ago, you looked just like Superman. Do you know who Superman is?"_

_Kenny nodded silently again as Gracie began to slowly swing. "Do you like Superman?"_

_She watched as Kenny thought about it for a second before shrugging his shoulders._

_Gracie nodded. "Yeah, you look like a pretty adventurous guy. You'd probably like to do something more exciting than just fly around all the time. Hmmmm…What about Batman? I mean, he gets to wear a cape and a mask, and he has a super cool car."_

_Kenny shook his head. "Ok, let me see…" Gracie tapped her finger against her chin like she was deep in thought. "The Hulk? Captain America? The Flash?"_

_A tiny grin appeared on Kenny's face as he shook his head harder. Gracie let out an exasperated sigh. "Ok, I give up. Which superhero do you like?"_

_Suddenly, Kenny jumped off the swing and stood in front of Gracie, smiling. He raised his arms, turning his wrists out, and shot her with his imaginary webs. He finally shouted, "I'm Spider-man!"_

_Gracie laughed as the boy started running around the back yard, pretending to swing from imaginary buildings. She just sighed and rolled her eyes. "I should have known. What is it about boys and Spider-man?"_

_Just then, Ellie moved so that she was sitting beside Gracie in the now vacant swing. Her expression was still sad, but Gracie could see the way the little girl's eyes lit up watching her brother play happily in the yard._

_Several minutes of silence went by before Ellie Winston looked over to Gracie. "I like that you're not trying to make me talk to you."_

_Gracie looked over to Ellie and nodded. "You know how all these grown-ups keep telling you that everything will be alright? That they know how you're feeling?"_

_Ellie sighed and nodded. Gracie just gave her a small smile. "Well, the truth is, they don't know anything. I think that your dad and your grandpa and your Uncle Jax are probably as scared and sad as you are right now."_

_The little girl nodded. "My dad cries a lot."_

_Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat. "That's ok. He needs to. And it's ok if you and Kenny need to cry, too."_

_Ellie looked over at her brother. "I don't think he understands. He's only seven. He thinks she's going to come back someday." Ellie looked over at Gracie with a face so much less innocent than it should be. "But I'm ten. I know she's gone."_

_Gracie nodded and looked down at her lap. "You know, I was ten when my mom died, too."_

_Ellie quickly looked up at Gracie. "Really?"_

_Gracie smiled sadly. "Really. So I can't tell you that I know exactly what you're feeling, but I know how I felt, and it was really, really awful."_

_A few seconds passed before Ellie's little voice quietly asked, "Does it get better?"_

_Gracie sighed as she looked up to the sky. "Um…I think…I think 'better' is the wrong word. I think, in time, it just gets easier. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my mom, that I don't miss her. But at some point you stop thinking about the sad stuff. I know it's hard to believe now, but one day you're going to wake up, and when you think about your mom, you're going to smile instead of cry. You won't think about all this sadness. You'll just think about how much you love her. It'll take some time, but I promise it'll happen."_

_Ellie looked down at the ground for several moments before raising her teary eyes to Gracie. Her voice was trembling. "Do you promise?"_

_Gracie bit her lip and nodded. "I promise."_

_Ellie and Gracie swung silently for several minutes before the little girl looked over once again. "Can you come over to see us again, Grace?"_

_Gracie pushed herself higher on the little swing and smiled at Ellie. "I'd love to."_

About 20 minutes later, Gracie walked back through Opie's sliding glass door and when she entered the house she was immediately wrapped up by Jax in a bone crushing hug.

Gracie closed her arms around his waist and laughed. "Did you miss me, Jackson?"

Jax pulled back and smiled. "I was sitting by the window. I heard you with the kids." He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Gracie."

Gracie wiped a single tear away from his cheek and nodded. "Love you too, Jax."

* * *

Two months had gone by since Donna's death, and so much had changed. About a week after the funeral, Opie took off on a road trip, saying that he had to get away and clear his head. Mary agreed to stay at the house until he came back, with Piney taking the kids to and from school most days. Except for Wednesdays. Every Wednesday, Gracie pulls up in front of the elementary school and loads Ellie and Kenny into her Mustang. From there they go back to her house for the evening, usually to make cookies and dinner, more often than not homemade pizza. After dinner, Ellie tries on Gracie's clothes or plays with her makeup, looks through all of her travel pictures, or just watches movies. Kenny likes spending time with Gracie too, rereading her old comic books or playing with her light saber. But the little boy's favorite nights are when 'Uncle Juice' comes over and the two play video games or run around the house for hours playing Spider-man.

Gracie and Tara still talk on the phone at least once a day, but they rarely get to see each other. After the funeral, Tara and Jax started spending every night together at his house. And as time passed, they sort of unofficially moved in together. Tara still had most of her stuff at Gracie's house, but neither could remember the last time she'd slept there. Between her crazy hours at the hospital, her time with Jackson, and taking care of Abel, Gracie was lucky if she got to have lunch with Tara once or twice a week.

Gracie spent almost every night at Juice's apartment or the clubhouse. But she forced herself to stay at her house at least once a week, even though she hated it. Ever since Kohn, she had felt uncomfortable in the house, but now that Tara was gone, it didn't feel like a home at all. Lying next to Juice at night helped to quell her fears, but she knew that the warmth and love she used to have for the small house were gone forever.

* * *

Gracie's alarm went off at 5:00am. She quickly reached over and fumbled with her phone, trying to turn it off before it woke Juice. As usual, she was sleeping at his place, and she always had to set her alarm extra early on the mornings she had to work, since she would need to drive back to her house to get ready.

Gracie tried to quietly crawl out of Juice's bed, but as she went to sit up she felt his arms curl around her waist, pulling her close. His voice was groggy and sleepy and, as always, adorable. "I hate it when you leave me in the morning."

Gracie smiled as she ran a hand over his mohawk. "I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep."

She climbed out of bed, stumbling in the darkness to find some clothes. She was just pulling on her underwear and one of Juice's t-shirts when she was temporarily blinded by Juice turning on the bedside lamp.

She turned to see Juice sitting up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "This is crazy, sweetheart. You could sleep an extra hour if you would just keep your clothes and shit here."

Gracie sighed as she hunted for her yoga pants. "Baby, we've been over this. This is your apartment. I'm not going to drag all of my shit over here and mess up your place."

Juice suddenly got a nervous look on his face as he raised his eyes to meet Gracie's. "Well…what if it was your place, too?"

Gracie froze in place and looked at him, stunned. "What did you say?"

Juice got up, putting on his boxers and walking over to Gracie. "Move in with me."

Gracie's eyes widened. "Are you…are you sure? I mean, I know I'm here a lot and I wake you up really early. If it's that, I can just…"

Juice reached out and grasped the sides of Gracie's face. He shook his head and grinned. "Gracie, I love you. I love you so fucking much. My favorite parts of every single day are going to bed with you at night and waking up with you in the morning. I've wanted to ask you for a long time…basically since the day I met you." They both smiled before Juice leaned in and placed a small kiss on her lips. "Please, sweetheart. I want you here. You and all your shit."

Gracie laughed before Juice kissed her again. "Please?"

Gracie smiled before jumping up into his arms, curling her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist. She kissed him with everything she had, dragging her nails down the back of his neck and grinding herself against his quickly hardening length. Juice walked them over a few feet so that Gracie's back was pressed against the bedroom wall, giving him the leverage to push himself harder against her center.

After a few moments, Gracie pulled back and Juice couldn't help but think it was the happiest he had ever seen her. Her grin was infectious, causing his own already huge smile to widen. She couldn't hide the joy in her voice. "Looks like you've got yourself a roommate, Ortiz."

And as Juice quickly stripped her out of her clothes and laid her back down on the bed, Gracie knew that she was going to be late for work. But she also knew, without a doubt, it was going to be totally worth it.

**Please review!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Another update! Yay! Thanks, as always, for all the reviews on the last chapter. I swear I light up every time the alert on my phone goes off telling me someone else has commented on my story. Love it!**

**One guest reviewer had me cracking up, asking if my Juice has a panty fetish like he did on the show. Not sure if anyone remembers this, but during the chapter where they had sex for the first time, I had Juice put Gracie's panties in his pocket for him to keep. That was my very subtle homage to his little habit on the show. It may or may not come into play more later, but I promise that he will not be flushing them down the toilet :)**

**One more fun little chapter before the beginning of Season Two. I thought we were all due for some smut :) Hope** **you like it!**

Chapter 27

It had only taken two days for Grace to repack most of her things into the same boxes she had used when she first moved to Charming all those month ago. Tara wasn't at all surprised when Gracie told her that she was moving out. If anything, she was relieved. Tara had felt guilty for weeks about moving in with Jax and leaving Gracie in the house by herself. So even though she still didn't completely trust Juice not to hurt Gracie again, Tara was happy that her best friend wouldn't be alone anymore.

Gracie was just taping up the last of the boxes when she heard a knock at the door. She ran over and opened it, and found Juice smiling widely.

He immediately snaked an arm around her waist, pulling her hard against him, while tangling his other hand in her hair. He leaned in and kissed her slowly, taking her lower lip between his own, sucking gently until she was quietly moaning.

He pulled back slowly and smiled. "Today's moving day, sweetheart. You ready?"

She grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him against her once more, taking a few steps backwards so that her back was pressed against the door. "Well, I was ready a few seconds ago, but now I've got other things on my mind."

She wrapped her hands around his neck and pressed her lips against his, scraping her fingernails down the back of his neck until he sighed, at which point she thrust her tongue into his mouth, tasting him, slowly and completely.

Juice pressed her harder against the door, reaching a hand up to massage her breast over her shirt. He moved his lips so that he could lick along the long column of her neck. "Fuck, Gracie. I want you."

When he felt her nod, Juice was about to throw her over his shoulder and carry her inside, but he suddenly heard someone groan a few feet away.

Jax and Tara both grinned when they saw the blush rise in Gracie's cheeks. He shook his head. "Jesus, get a room, you two. It's like watching my little brother make out with my little sister."

Juice smiled down at his girl, her beet red face hidden in her hands. He thought it was so fucking cute that she still got embarrassed when someone caught them together, like they were high school kids doing something naughty. He, on the other hand, couldn't wipe the look of pride off his face. He absolutely loved it when everyone saw firsthand that the gorgeous little redhead was his woman.

Tara walked towards Gracie and laughed, grabbing her hand and pulling her back into the house. "Come on, Gracie Jane. Let's go get some boxes."

Jax smiled as he watched his two favorite women disappear down the hallway. He lit a cigarette and took a long, slow drag before throwing an arm around Juice's shoulder. "You know we're the two luckiest sons of bitches on the planet, right bro?"

Juice just grinned and nodded. "Believe me, brother. I know."

Jax patted him on the back and walked into the house. "Alright, then. Let's get this shit started."

* * *

It took most of the day and several trips back and forth in the TM van, but everything Gracie owned was finally either in Juice's apartment or in a storage unit. Most of Juice's furniture was nice and still pretty new, so the only big things that needed to be moved in were Gracie's dresser and bed, since her antique wrought iron bed was bigger and more comfortable than Juice's.

Gracie and Tara were standing next to each other, both leaning against the front of the van, staring at Jax and Juice as they carried her dresser up the back stairs to the apartment.

Gracie couldn't keep her eyes off Juice's arms, the way they rippled and flexed with every step he took. She bit her lip and sighed. "Is it a total cliché that I am completely turned on by watching my big, strong man lift something really heavy?"

Tara grinned, her eyes planted firmly on the defined muscles visible against the back of Jax's t-shirt. "Cliché or not, I don't give a shit. This is hot."

The two best friends looked at each other and started giggling uncontrollably. Their laughter continued until the guys finally made it to the top of the stairs, and Jax turned around to look at them, trying to catch his breath with his hands on his hips. He shook his head and grinned. "Something funny down there, ladies?"

A sly smile crossed Tara's face. "Just enjoying the view, baby."

Jax tried his damndest to look offended, but he was unable stifle his grin. "We're just pieces of meat to you two."

* * *

It took the four of them a few hours, but together they unpacked all of Grace's things. Juice felt nothing short of giddy as he looked around his apartment. Gracie's shit was everywhere, and he fucking loved it. His same black leather couch sat in his living room, but now it was decorated with purple, white, and gray throw pillows on the sides and a big white warm blanket over the back. His once blank walls now had big black and white framed movie posters hanging around the room, all from vintage sci-fi films, and his small window actually had curtains. His bathroom now contained Gracie's fancy towels and hand soaps, and his kitchen, which he had hardly ever used, was now filled with every cooking gadget imaginable, including a Batman cookie jar and a set of Tardis salt and pepper shakers.

He couldn't believe it, but in a few short hours his cold, sterile apartment had been transformed into something warm, something lived-in, something that felt like a real honest-to-god home. All day, as every little candle and photo and book was unpacked, Juice kept waiting for his anxiety to start, for his OCD to ruin this perfect day, because his once empty, pristine apartment was now filled with another person's things. But it never came, and he knew that it was because of Gracie. Because she was his peace, his constant, his calm in every storm, and a little part of her was present in everything that now surrounded him.

Juice was standing in his kitchen, getting some of the pizza they had just had delivered, when he heard one of his favorite sounds in the world, Gracie's laughter, coming from the living room. He looked over and saw Tara and Jax sitting on the couch, drinking beers and telling some story about their high school days. He then glanced down at the floor where Gracie was sitting in front of the coffee table eating a piece of her disgusting pineapple pizza, something that still completely grossed him out. She was looking up at Tara, smiling and giggling about something Jax had said, and it was in that moment, watching that simple scene in front of him, that everything became real. _That's my girl. That's my girl who loves me as much as I love her. And she's not leaving tonight, or any other night every again, because she lives here, because this is our home, because…_Juice swallowed the lump forming in his throat…_because I'm not alone anymore._ He put his plate on the table and walked over to the sink where he leaned up against the counter and took a big, deep breath. His hand rose to his heart, and he could swear that he actually felt the warmth spreading through his chest. He just stood there, smiling to himself, wishing that he could capture this moment and somehow save it for the rest of his life. He had never been so happy.

* * *

Later that night, Juice got out of the shower and quickly dried off, wrapping the towel around his waist. He walked the small distance to his bedroom, and when he opened the door, he smiled. Gracie was sitting on her side of the bed with some pillows tucked behind her back, rereading her beat-up copy of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Her hair was tucked behind her ears, the quilt wrapped snugly around her legs, and she was wearing one of his old SAMCRO t-shirts.

When she heard him come in she raised her eyes, closed the book, and smiled. "Hey, you."

Juice grinned as he walked over to his side of the bed and climbed in, losing the towel along the way. He leaned over and placed a gently kiss on her lips. "Hey, yourself."

Gracie reached out one of her hands and caressed the side of his face. "So, I know my stuff is kind of everywhere right now. If it's too much just let me know, I can move it to the storage unit. Or I can…"

Juice shook his head. "I love it, baby. I love it all. Don't move a thing." Juice leaned in for another kiss, but Gracie backed away just slightly.

She bit her lip as the blush rose in her cheeks. "Actually, there's one more thing I brought today…" Gracie reached behind her pillows and pulled out a gift box, wrapped in shiny silver paper with purple ribbon. She handed it to Juice and shyly smiled.

Juice just stared at the box for a moment before raising his eyes to Gracie is surprise. "You got me a present?" He stared at the box, and then at Gracie, in total wonder. The only woman that had ever bought him a present before was Gemma, and that was just at Christmastime.

Gracie tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "I don't know if it's a real present. It's just something I thought you might like…sort of a housewarming gift, I guess."

Juice gave her a short, sweet kiss before tearing off the paper and opening the box. When he pulled off the lid and saw what was inside, he smiled. It was a framed picture of the two of them, one that they had taken the day they went on the ride to Yosemite. In it, Gracie was tucked into his side giving him a hug, while he had one arm wrapped around her shoulders and one arm extended out holding the camera. He was looking straight ahead, smiling, while Gracie's face was looking up at him, love and happiness filling her eyes. It captured everything that was perfect about that day.

He was still smiling a few moments later when Gracie started to speak. "I know you don't keep a lot of pictures around. I just thought that since this is our place now you might…I mean, if you don't like it, we can…"

Juice just shook his head. "I love it."

Gracie let out a small sigh of relief. "Really?"

Juice reached over and placed the frame on his bedside table, so that it would be the first thing he saw every morning. He looked back at Gracie and nodded. "Really. It's the best present anyone's ever given me. I love it." He leaned over and placed a few small kisses on her jaw. "I love you."

Gracie sighed as his lips traveled over her jaw line and down the column of her neck. His hands reached down and grasped the hem of her t-shirt quickly pulling it over her head and throwing it on the floor. He didn't stop for a moment, as he started to gently nip and kiss down the other side of her neck.

Gracie leaned her head to the side and grinned, her voice breathless. "I love it when you do that, baby."

Juice smiled against her neck, his warm breath against her skin making her shiver. "I know you do, sweetheart." He licked along the line of her collar bone and down between her breasts. "I know every part of you." He used both of his hands to cradle her breasts, his thumbs working in small circles over her hardened nipples. "I know just how you like to be touched."

Gracie gripped the back of his neck and whimpered as he started to roll and pull her nipples between his fingers. "I know when you like it a little rough."

Gracie moaned as the pulsating between her legs started to throb. "Baby, please…"

Juice leaned in took one of her nipples in his mouth, sucking hard and then taking it between his teeth, flicking it over and over again with his tongue. He backed away slightly and blew a small amount of air over the perfect, pink bud. "I know that if I wanted to, I could make you come just by playing with your tits."

Juice continued his torture for a few more minutes, alternating between her breasts, as she clamped her legs together as hard as she could, desperate for some relief.

When he finally released her now sensitive and swollen nipple with a pop, he looked up at her with darkened eyes, his face filled with desire. "But that's not how I want you to come, Gracie Jane." He pushed the covers to the end of the bed and slid down, pulling Gracie by the thighs, so that her back was flat on the bed, her legs bent at the knees. He spread her legs apart and stared at her pussy, glistening with her juices. "I want to taste you." He quickly leaned his head down between her legs and drove his tongue inside of her, licking at her walls before moving up and tasting her all the way up until he found her clit.

Gracie reached up above her head and grabbed hold of the iron rods on her headboard. "Oh, fuck Juice! God, that's so good, baby."

He spread her legs wider and then opened her up more with his thumbs. He blew over her throbbing clit before diving in again, licking and swirling around it, the way he knew always made her fall apart.

Grace could feel the sweat starting to drip down her body as she got closer and closer. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. She moaned when Juice sucked on her clit, turning her head from side to side, lost in the pleasure he was giving her.

As soon as Juice felt her thighs start to tremble around his head he raised up so that he could see her. Nothing was hotter than watching Gracie come. He licked two of his fingers and quickly pressed them against her clit, replacing his tongue. "Come on, sweetheart. Give it up. I want to see you come."

The sight of Juice, looking up at her with blackened eyes and panting breath, his lips still moist from her pussy, along with the feel of his roughened, calloused fingers moving mercilessly over her aching core, all sent her over the edge. As the waves of her orgasm crashed over her, she shut her eyes and screamed. "Oh, fuck! Juice! Juice! Oh, god, baby!"

She barely had time to come out of her haze before she felt Juice flip her over and pull her up onto her hands and knees.

He leaned down and kissed her lower back before grasping onto her hips. "I'm gonna fuck you now, Gracie."

She looked over her shoulder and met his eyes, her voice coming out as a whimper. "Please, baby."

Juice quickly ran the tip of his painfully hard cock through her dripping folds before plunging into her with one quick thrust, causing them both to groan. His thrusts were hard and deep, hitting Gracie in places that no one else had ever been big enough to touch. She arched her back and pushed into him with every move he made, relishing the fullness that only he could give her.

He was trying his best to make this last, trying to go slow, but as he watched his dick disappear in and out between Gracie's perfect, milky white ass he knew he couldn't go much longer before he was fucking her senseless.

He tightened his hold on one of her hips while he moved his other hand down around her, finding her still swollen clit and rubbing it in fast, hard circles.

Grace screamed in pleasure. "Oh, fuck! Baby! Baby, oh…oh…oh god, I'm gonna come again, Juice!"

He was pounding into her now, his eyes squeezed shut, fighting for any control. "That's it, Gracie. Come on, baby. Come on my dick."

A few more quick thrusts and Gracie was shattering around him, her arms giving out so that her screams were muffled by her pillow. Juice drove in and out of her with abandon as her pussy quivered and tightened around him, his own orgasm coming over him like a speeding train. His rhythm broke as he buried himself in her a few more times and then stilled, filling her with his seed. He stayed inside of her, never letting go of her now bruising hips, until her gripping walls had milked him dry. Finally, he slowly pulled out, falling onto his back beside her.

A few seconds later, he was still trying to catch his breath when he looked over and watched Gracie lying on her stomach, her head turned towards him. The blush was still present in her cheeks, the sweat still gleaming on her skin, and she was softly smiling, her eyes tired but completely satisfied.

He turned onto his side and ran his hand down the length of her spine until it rested on her ass. He leaned in and gave her a small, closed mouth kiss on her perfect, full lips. "I'm so fucking in love with you, Gracie Jane."

Her sleepy smile widened slightly as she curled into him, burying her face in his chest. "I love you too, Juan Carlos."

**Please review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey lovelies! Finally, another update. No excuses for how long it's been. Just my sincere apologies and thanks for sticking with me! Thanks to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter. I'm so glad my smuttiness makes you all so happy :) I actually wasn't planning on having any sex scenes in this chapter, but I added some smut just to say sorry for how long it's taken me to post.**

**So, here's the beginning of Season Two! Hope you like it, and as always, please review!**

Chapter 28

Juice woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and sausage. He stretched and yawned before climbing out of bed and throwing on a pair of boxers. When he walked the short distance to the kitchen and saw the sight in front of him, he smiled. Gracie was standing in front of the stove, quietly singing along to some god awful country song she had playing on her iPod, wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton panties and an Incredible Hulk t-shirt.

He stood there for a few moments before Gracie looked over and grinned. "Good morning, baby."

Juice walked over and wrapped her up in his arms, first kissing her softly on the forehead, then the tip of her nose, and then on her full, beautiful lips. "Morning, Gracie Jane." He looked down at the stove and saw an omelet in one pan and a few sausage links in another. "You made me breakfast?"

Gracie put the food on a plate and walked over to the small kitchen table. "Of course I did. It's my first official morning here. Besides, you said you're going to be really busy today. I didn't want you to go to work on nothing but a protein bar."

Gracie was right. Today was going to be crazy. First thing this morning, he was meeting the guys at one of the warehouses to test out the new gun shipment from the Irish, and then would probably spend a few hours assembling the pieces before putting in some hours at TM.

He nodded and gave her one more small kiss. "Thanks, sweetheart. It looks great."

Juice started eating while Gracie poured him a cup of coffee. "Aren't you gonna have anything?"

Gracie grabbed a banana from the counter and a glass of water before sitting down beside him. "Just this. I'm going for a run. I'll probably stop at the bakery on my way back."

Juice grinned. "Alright. Just promise while you're there you won't spill your breakfast all over some other biker and make him fall crazy in love with you. That was a onetime thing. You're all mine now."

Gracie smiled as she leaned over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. "I promise. All yours."

A few minutes later, they were both finished eating and getting dressed in the bedroom. Juice was wearing his usual cargo pants, tight fitting t-shirt, and his kutte, while Gracie slid on her tight black running capris and a hot pink sports bra.

Juice was just pulling on his boots when he looked over at Gracie, saw what she was wearing, and groaned. "Jesus Christ, you're killing me right now." He made his way over to her, running his calloused hands along the sides of her bare stomach, and kissing the side of her neck.

She quickly backed out of his hold, ignoring the shivers running up and down her spine, and shook her head, giggling. "Nope. No. You start doing that and I'm going to rip your clothes off and you're going to be late. I can't have the club thinking I'm a bad influence on you after one night of living together."

Gracie backed out of the bedroom, laughing at the pouty look on Juice's face. He crossed his arms over his chest and playfully pleaded with her. "Come on, Gracie Jane. I'll just be a tiny bit late. I'm going to be useless at work anyway, thinking about you running all over Charming, wearing those clothes, with sweat dripping down all over your body…"

When Gracie reached for her running shoes, she turned so that she was facing away from him. She leaned over her shoulder and grinned before bending over very slowly to tie them, giving Juice a nice little show and a great view of her ass.

She laughed when she heard him sigh. "You enjoy torturing me, don't you?"

She tied her laces and stood up, walking over to him and shaking her head. "No, baby. I don't like torturing you." She leaned up and gently bit his earlobe before whispering against his ear. "I like making you feel so, so good." His hands reached down and grabbed her ass, squeezing, while her lips moved from his ear to his lips. She kissed him slowly and passionately, deepening it only for a moment before pulling away. "And I promise, tonight when we're alone, you can make me sweat all over again, except tonight I won't be wearing anything…"

Juice leaned in to kiss her again, but Gracie backed out of his hold and grabbed his hand, smiling as she dragged him to the door. "But right now, you've got to go to work, Ortiz." He threw his head back in frustration but couldn't help but grin as he followed his girl outside.

When they walked down the stairs to the sidewalk, Juice locked the door and then walked over to his bike, which was parked on the street in front of the weed shop. He sat down and pulled Gracie between his legs. "So, I'll see you tonight for Bobby's party?"

Gracie smiled and nodded. Bobby had been in prison for three months on a murder charge, but apparently the case fell apart and he was finally coming home, much to everyone's relief. "Definitely. I'll be there." She leaned down and placed her hands on the sides of his face, kissing him soundly. "Be careful today, ok? I love you."

Juice nodded. "I will. I love you too, sweetheart."

* * *

About an hour later, Gracie was just finishing up her run. She went to the bakery and ate her usual powdered donut and chai, before walking back towards her and Juice's apartment. As she went down Main Street, she noticed a new store getting ready to open a few doors down from Floyd's Barbershop, and as she got closer she cringed at the smell. _A cigar store. Ick._ She made a mental note to try and avoid walking past in the future, the stench of the cigars already wafting out onto the street.

She was just going past the store front when a big, muscular man with a buzz cut and tattoos came walking out onto the side walk carrying some boxes.

When he looked over and saw her, Gracie could have sworn that a look similar to disgust crossed his face before quickly being replaced with an uncomfortable smile. "Good morning, ma'am."

Gracie didn't know why, but a small shudder went through her at the sound of his voice. "Um, hi. Good morning to you, too."

She continued walking past the store, but stopped after a few seconds when she heard his voice call out to her. "Uh, ma'am?"

Gracie turned and raised her eyebrows. "Yes?"

The man looked at the ground for a moment as if debating whether or not to speak before looking up at Gracie, the artificial smile now gone. "Ma'am, I just have to say, I've seen you around the last few days…you and your boyfriend."

Gracie crossed her arms over her chest as a chill ran up her spine. "Yes…and?"

He stood a little straighter and looked directly into her eyes. "And you seem like a lovely young woman. It's a shame to see you defile yourself with that spic."

Gracie's eyes widened as her jaw dropped in complete shock. _I must have heard him wrong. There's no way he just said what I think he said._ She shook her head in disbelief. "Excuse me? What did you just say to me?"

His voice was quiet and matter of fact, as if he was simply commenting on the weather. "You're a beautiful white woman, and it sickens me to see you sully your purity with that little brown boy."

Any fear that Gracie had felt in the stranger's presence had been replaced in an instant with blinding anger. She could feel her heart beating faster and her hands start to tremble, tears forming in her eyes; not as a result of sadness, but of overwhelming rage. She had never been so furious.

Gracie usually ran from confrontation, never raising her voice, always choosing to be the bigger person, but in that moment, she was incapable of walking away. She approached the man so that she was only inches away from his face, never breaking eye contact. Before she knew it, she was yelling. "How dare you! How dare you speak to me that way! Who the fuck do you think you are? And what possible right do you think you have to talk about my boyfriend that way, you racist, ignorant, inbred piece of shit! I have never…"

Gracie's screaming was interrupted when an older man in a very expensive suit came rushing out of the cigar shop, his hands raised innocently in the air. His voice was calm and polite. "Miss, please. Please tell me what happened. My name is Ethan Zobelle, and I own this store. Can I help you in any way?"

Gracie took a few deep breaths, trying unsuccessfully to calm down, adrenaline still coursing through her body. "Does this man work for you?"

Zobelle looked over at the other man and nodded. "Yes, he does. This is Mr. Weston. He's one of my employees."

Gracie placed her still shaking hands on her hips. "Well, _your employee_ just said something incredibly offensive to me and made racist remarks about my boyfriend."

Zobelle looked over to Weston and shook his head before looking back at Gracie. His was voice apologetic, his expression contrite. "Ma'am, I apologize for his behavior. Mr. Weston…he doesn't always think before he speaks. I can't tell you how terribly sorry I am if he caused you any offense. I swear to you, it will not happen again."

Gracie's eyes narrowed at Weston before looking back to the store owner. "Mr. Zobelle, I appreciate your apology, but it wasn't you that said the words. If I were you, I would be ashamed to have such a man associated with my business. He deserves to be fired for what he said to me, but if you choose not to do that just…" She looked over at Weston and scowled. "…just keep your dog on a leash."

Gracie started walking down the street once more but stopped abruptly after a few feet and turned around. "Oh, and Mr. Weston?"

Weston looked up and met her gaze. "Yes, ma'am?"

Gracie looked at him in revulsion. "Just so you know, my 'little brown boy' is more of a man that you will ever be. And if you ever speak to me again, you're going to find that out the hard way."

Gracie turned without another word and walked home.

* * *

It took most of the day, a long hot shower, and a lot of deep breathing, but Gracie finally got over her run-in on Main Street. She had stomped around her apartment all morning, fuming about every word that came out of Weston's mouth, but once she calmed down she just reminded herself that there are lots of idiots in the world, but none of them or any of their hateful words would ever matter. By evening she had blown the whole thing off. She wasn't going to waste another moment thinking about that asshole. He was worth less than nothing and so were his opinions. And she certainly wasn't going to tell Juice about it. She knew, without a doubt, that he would beat the hell out of the guy, and she had no intention of letting Juice get charged with assault because of that stupid fuck.

After watching some TV and eating a small dinner of left over pizza from the night before, Gracie started to get ready for the party. She put on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a low cut black tank top, and her red converse. Looking at herself in the mirror, Gracie couldn't help but smile when she thought about what she had worn to her first club party all those months ago. She had grown to love the barely-there skirt and cleavage bearing top that she wore to what Gemma still calls her 'coming out party', at least she loved the effect that they had on Juice. But since that night he made her promise that she would only wear them at home for their…um…private parties, which she happily agreed to. Gracie was a much happier girl in jeans and sneakers.

After applying her makeup and straightening her hair, Gracie put on some perfume, hopped into her car, and headed for the clubhouse.

* * *

Juice couldn't stop himself from glancing up at the door every few minutes, impatiently waiting to see his girl. Gracie had sent him a text telling him she was on her way, and as far as he was concerned, she couldn't get there fast enough.

Today had been stressful. After testing out the new shipment from the Irish, the club had voted to start muling the guns in addition to selling them. He knew it was a slightly bigger risk, but it was really the only choice they had considering Stahl and the rest of the ATF was still breathing down their necks, making it too dangerous to store the guns anywhere long term. It was pretty obvious that Clay and Jax were fighting with each other about something, but fuck if anyone knew why. Piney seemed even more pissed off than usual, and Tig was still being weird as fuck, just like he'd been for the last few months. The only good things about today were Opie and Bobby coming home; Ope from his road trip and Bobby from lock-up.

He was sitting on one of the sofas surrounding the stripper pole, talking to Chibs and occasionally glancing at the strung-out bleach blond with fake tits swinging around in front of them. One of the croweaters brought him a beer but quickly moved on to another patch. Over the last few months, they had accepted that Juice was off limits, not only because he had told them so, but because they all seemed to really like Gracie. Unlike most of the other old ladies, she was nice to the girls, never talked down to them, and honestly tried to get to know and understand them. Juice smiled to himself. _Leave it to his girl to make friends with all the sweetbutts._

Juice's thoughts were interrupted when a pair of hands ran down the back of his neck, over his shoulders, and down the front of his kutte. He smiled when she leaned forward over the back of the couch and he got a whiff of his favorite smell in the world, vanilla and coconut. A very sexy, very familiar voice whispered low against his ear, "How about a lap dance, baby?"

Juice grinned without turning around. "Sorry, not interested."

He sighed as the hands on his chest traveled back over his shoulders and up to his neck, fingernails scratching gently over his skin, just the way he liked it. The voice purred in his ear. "And why is that?"

He looked at her face and smiled, love in his eyes. "Because I'm only interested in my old lady."

Gracie returned his smile and kissed him softly on the lips before walking to the front of the couch. A small shriek escaped her as Juice quickly pulled her down on his lap, her legs straddling his hips. He wrapped one of his arms around her waist while the other went to the side of her face. "Hi."

Gracie smiled and shook her head before leaning forward and kissing him again. "Hi, yourself."

"And where is my hello kiss, love?"

Gracie turned and grinned at her Scotsman, who was sitting next to Juice on the couch. She leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Hi, Chibs."

Chibs just took a drink of his beer before smirking. "Not quite the same greeting as you gave to Juicey, but it'll have to do I suppose."

Juice just rolled his eyes. He was happy that Chibs and Gracie had become such good friends, and he trusted his brother completely, which is why he put up with his constant but harmless flirting.

Gracie moved so that she was sitting in between the two men on the small, leather loveseat. Juice placed his arm over her shoulder as she rested her hand on his thigh. She looked over at Chibs and grinned before nodding her head towards the pole. "Enjoying the show?"

Chibs just smirked. "Aye, I am, lass. But I'm a lonely old bastard. Not all of us have a gorgeous redhead around to keep us company."

Chibs looked warmly at Gracie as he watched the blush rise in her cheeks. He stood up and kissed the top of her head. "Now if you two lovebirds will excuse me, I'm going to go find some entertainment of my own." He winked at Gracie before walking towards the bar and the waiting croweaters.

Gracie leaned her head against Juice's shoulder and sighed. "I missed you today."

Juice tightened his hold around her shoulders. "I missed you too, sweetheart. You have no idea." He glanced down and couldn't help but admire the way the top curves of her breasts were peeking out of her tank top. He had to adjust himself as he remembered the way she looked that morning before she left the house and the sexy things she said to him. He leaned his head down so that he could whisper against her ear. "So, how was your run this morning, Gracie Jane? Did you sweat?"

She just looked at him and grinned. "Yes, I did." She kissed him once on his jaw before lowering her voice to a whisper. "I was dripping."

Gracie glanced up at Juice and saw that his pupils were already dilated, his beautiful brown eyes already a shade darker, and his lips were slightly moistened from licking them a moment ago. She knew that face and knew exactly what he wanted…she wanted the same thing, too.

Gracie glanced up at the stripper and grinned before looking back to Juice. "You know, baby? I can give you a better show than she can."

A sexy smirk crossed his face. "Oh, yeah?"

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah." She stood and grabbed Juice's hands, pulling him off the couch. "Come on. Your old lady's going to give you that lap dance."

Juice honestly tried, but couldn't wipe the huge smile off his face as Gracie dragged him back to his room. _I fucking love this woman._

* * *

When they got back to his dorm, Juice quickly locked the door before turning around to look at Gracie. He never took his eyes off her as she walked over to the desk, grabbed his small desk chair, and dragged it to the center of the room. She walked back over to him and grinned before taking his hand and leading him to the chair, gently pushing on his shoulders and guiding him to sit.

The music was still blaring from the clubhouse and could easily be heard, so Gracie started swaying slowly to the beat of the music. When Juice reached out and tried to grab her hips, she just backed away and shook her head, the sexiest smile he'd ever seen crossing her lips. "Now, Mr. Ortiz…I'm sure you know the rules. You can look, but you can't touch."

Juice could practically feel the blood rushing to his cock as he realized the little game Gracie wanted to play. He bit his lip and nodded. "Sorry, sweetheart. Won't happen again."

Gracie placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned down so that her tits were right in front of his eyes. "Good boy."

She moved so that she was a couple of feet in front of him and started dancing, just swaying her hips to the rhythm pouring through the walls. Juice watched, transfixed, as she ran her hands over her neck, over her breasts, down the sides of her ribs, and to the edge of her tank top. She pulled it, achingly slow, over her head, and then giggled as she threw it to Juice. He caught it quickly and smiled, before raising it up to his nose and breathing in deeply. He loved the way she smelled.

Juice almost winced at the painful way his dick pressed against the zipper of his jeans as he took in the sight of Gracie's huge tits, barely contained in the silky red bra she was wearing. He sat up in the chair, palming himself through his jeans. "God, Gracie. You're so fucking sexy."

She just smiled sweetly at him before slowly turning around, facing away from him. She toed off her sneakers and unbuttoned her jeans, then looked over her shoulder at Juice and grinned before leaning down _oh so slowly_, pulling her skinnies down as she went, revealing her red silk thong.

Juice groaned loudly. Gracie hardly ever wore thongs, but she knew whenever she did, it drove him crazy. "Jesus Christ, Gracie."

Gracie stepped out of her jeans and raised back up just as slowly as she had bent forward. She turned back around to face him and grinned, biting her lip. "Do you like it, baby? I bought it just for you."

Juice stared at his shy little Gracie Jane in wonder as she continued to slowly dance in front of him, hips moving in figure eights with the beat of the classic rock playing in the background. His hands trembled against his thigh as he fought the urge to reach out and grab her or unzip his pants and start jerking himself off…anything to relieve the agonizing and amazing tension in his groin.

Suddenly Gracie dropped to her knees and got on all fours, crawling towards him like a cat about to catch its prey. When she reached his legs, she placed her hands on his knees, guiding herself up and turning around so that she once again faced away from him, but this time she was standing right between his thighs.

When she finally lowered herself down and started rocking her ass against his groin, he sighed in relief. His voice was ragged as his breathing became more rapid. "Fuck, Gracie. You look so hot right now. Where the hell did you learn to do this?"

Gracie just smiled as she arched her back so that her ass pressed harder against Juice's lap, her hands grasping onto his thighs for leverage. He was about to thrust up against her, but much to his frustration, she chose that moment to stand back up.

She grinned as she started to walk behind his chair. "I've been to strip clubs before, Juan Carlos."

Something about the way she rolled her tongue when she said _Carlos_ made his head spin. _God, I love her tongue._

Gracie was standing behind him now, her hands resting briefly on his shoulders before traveling down the length of his chest, under his kutte, to the top of his pants. She leaned down to whisper in his ear. "I've even gotten a lap dance before."

Juice tried his best to remember how to form words, but all he could think about was the image of Gracie with another girl…that and the feel of her lips running up and down the length of his neck; never actually kissing him but close enough that he could feel the softness of her mouth and the warmth of her breath.

When she stood up and walked back around the other side of the chair, Juice looked up at his wet dream of an old lady, nearly salivating. "Did you like it when she danced on you, sweetheart?"

Juice watched the blush rise in Gracie's cheeks as she bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, I did…" She then sat down on his lap so that she was straddling his waist, facing him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started grinding against his cock, causing him to moan. Her hands traveled up his neck to the sides of his face as she leaned forward and pressed her tits against his chest. "But not like I like this…this is so much better."

Juice finally lost any shred of control he had over himself. He reached his hands forward and grabbed her hips, pushing her down even harder onto his dick, causing Gracie to gasp. As soon as he saw her lips part, he took the opportunity to assault her mouth, running his tongue along her own in a frantic, desperate rhythm.

Gracie tried her best to remember the game she was playing, but the passion in Juice's touch was making it nearly impossible. She pulled away just long enough to say between panting breaths, "You're not supposed to kiss the dancers, Mr. Ortiz."

His hands moved quickly from her hips to her breasts, where he squeezed them hard before running his thumbs back and forth over the hardened nipple visible through the silky material of her bra. "You're not a dancer, Gracie. You're my old lady."

She couldn't stifle the whimper that escaped her lips as he continued to play with her tits. "But, I…_oh_…but...don't you want me to finish my show?"

Juice reached behind her and unfastened her bra, quickly peeling it off her shoulders and throwing it across the room. He then grabbed the sides of her face and pulled her in for another kiss, his mouth crashing down with force. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, an almost feral expression on his face. "I want you, Gracie Jane. Right fucking now."

The need hung too heavy in the air, both of them aching to feel each other. Gracie quickly raised up off of Juice's lap just enough to unzip his pants and push them and his boxers down to his thighs. As soon as his cock was finally free, Juice grasped it with one hand and used his other to push Gracie's thong to the side.

The second she felt his tip at her entrance, Gracie slammed down onto his throbbing dick, causing them both to cry out.

Juice moaned loudly, his painfully hard length suddenly drenched in Gracie's tight, hot center. "Oh, fuck, Gracie…shit, sweetheart…you're so fucking wet…"

Gracie couldn't speak, completely lost in the feel of his cock filling every part of her. She was grinding on him, undulating her hips so that with every movement Juice was hitting her G-spot.

His eyes traveled from her face, over her tits, and finally landed on the view of his dick buried deep inside her pussy. He was so turned on he felt dizzy and he knew if he didn't make Gracie come soon, he was going to lose it.

He moved one of his hands to her breast, twisting and pulling on her always responsive nipples while his other hand rubbed furiously against her clit.

"Oh my fucking god, baby!" Gracie threw her head back in pleasure, right on the edge of exploding.

Juice's jaw was clenched tight, trying with everything he had not to come. "Oh, shit sweetheart…come on baby, fucking come for me…" He leaned forward and caught one of Gracie's nipples in his mouth, catching it between his teeth and flicking the sensitive bud with his tongue before sucking it hard.

He felt her walls tighten and spasm just before she cried out. "Oh, fuck, fuck, Juice…oh god…oh god!"

Gracie was still coming when Juice moved his hands back down to her hips and started thrusting up into her pussy as fast and as hard as he could. It didn't take long before his eyes squeezed shut and he felt his balls draw up and tighten. "Fuck, Gracie…Gracie!"

Juice groaned out her name as he came, hard and long. He shuddered against her for what seemed like ages as her still quivering heat continued to milk him dry.

After a few moments, they both opened their eyes and grinned at each other. Juice used his remaining energy to tangle his hands in her hair, now damp with sweat, and kissed her sweetly. He pulled back and smiled, still trying to catch his breath. "That was one hell of a show, Gracie Jane."

Still panting, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him another small, sweet kiss. "Glad you liked it, Mr. Ortiz."

* * *

About 15 minutes later, Juice and Gracie walked back to the party. He had his arm secured firmly around her waist as they walked to the bar and got some drinks.

Gracie laughed and rolled her eyes when she saw the huge, cocky grin plastered on Juice's face. "Can you at least try to hide that look?"

She didn't think it was possible, but his grin got even wider. He just shook his head and laughed. "And what look is that?"

She climbed onto one of the bar stools and turned to face him. "That 'I just got laid' look."

Juice stepped forward so that he was standing in between her legs. He leaned forward to whisper in her ear as his hands ran along the length of her thighs. "But I did just get laid, sweetheart. My sexy as hell old lady just performed a strip tease for me, gave me a hot as fuck lap dance, and then fucked me in a chair."

Juice just laughed when Gracie turned completely red and hid her face in her hands. He tugged on her wrist and pulled them down so that he could kiss her cheek. "I love you, Gracie Jane."

Now it was Gracie that couldn't hide her smile. "I love you too, baby."

Juice grabbed Gracie's hand, pulling her off the stool and outside the clubhouse door so that he could have a smoke and talk to the guys. They were just walking up to Chibs and Happy when a black Mercedes pulled into the lot and stopped right in front of where Clay was standing. It seemed like all the guys immediately tensed, Happy and Tig going to stand beside Clay, while Juice guided Gracie backwards so that she was shielded behind him.

Gracie looked around as the doors opened, and she felt a shiver run through her body as she saw the men from the cigar shop, Zobelle and Weston, climb out of the car, surrounded by some scary looking guys that were obviously white supremacists based on their hideous tattoos.

As she listened to Zobelle speak to Clay, demanding that he stop selling guns to color, she stepped forward so that she could stand by Juice's side. She tensed when Tig pulled his weapon, holding her breath until the confrontation was over and the strange men started walking back towards their car.

But just as she was about to sigh in relief at their retreat, Weston turned around to face her. His voice was once again quiet, calm, and unbelievable cold. "It's nice to see you again, ma'am." He turned back around quickly and climbed into the Benz.

Every member of the club looked at her in confusion and concern, but Gracie only looked to Juice. She couldn't hide the tremble in her voice. "His name is Weston. When I was running today, he stopped me on the sidewalk and said that he'd been watching me. He said…he said that I was a beautiful white woman and that I should stop defiling myself...with a spic."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Gracie saw Happy pull his gun and follow the Mercedes out of the lot, a murderous look on his face. Tig quickly drew his own weapon and joined his brother. Juice started for the car, but was immediately stopped by Clay placing a firm hand on his chest. "Not tonight, Juicey. Later, but not tonight." Juice stared at his president for a moment before nodding and turning towards Grace.

He looked at his woman, a mixture of worry and anger filling his eyes. He shook his head and sighed. "Jesus, Gracie. Why didn't you tell me?"

Gracie shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest. "I didn't think it was a big deal, honestly. I just thought he was some random, racist asshole. I didn't want you to beat him up and get into trouble over something like that. It was stupid. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I…"

"Shhh, it's ok sweetheart." Juice pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead and holding her tightly.

Juice released his hold on her when he felt Clay pat him on the shoulder. The older man handed him Zobelle's business card. "I want to know everything."

Juice nodded to Clay. "Got it." He grabbed Gracie's face and kissed her firmly on the lips. "Are you ok?"

Gracie nodded. "I'm fine, baby. Go. Do what you have to do. I'll be right here." Juice kissed her one more time before disappearing into the clubhouse to dig up all the intel he could on Samro's newest threat.

* * *

Before Gracie knew it, the party had returned to full swing. Bobby arrived a few minutes later and everyone was celebrating; drinking, dancing and having a good time, the almost shoot-out from earlier all but forgotten. But as she sat alone on the picnic table, Gracie couldn't shake the feeling of dread looming over her. She didn't know what. She didn't know when. She didn't know how. But something deep inside her was screaming out a warning that she found impossible to ignore. _Something really bad is going to happen._

**Please review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**I know! I can't believe I'm updating this soon again, either! Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! So glad you all seemed to like the last chapter.**

**So yeah, I never update this fast, but it seemed like a lot of you were anxious about this one, so I wanted to post it as soon as possible. Please read the short author's note at the end. Thanks again and please continue to review!**

Chapter 29

A few hours after the showdown in the parking lot with Zobelle, Juice walked outside to see Gracie sitting on the picnic table, playing poker with Half-Sack. He watched as she laughed at something the prospect said, and he breathed a sigh of relief at seeing her there safe and sound. He was able to dig up a lot of dirt on L.O.A.N., Ethan Zobelle, and A.J. Weston, and from what he learned, these guys were seriously dangerous and no one you wanted to fuck with. It made him sick to think that they had gotten so close to his girl.

When Gracie saw him approach, she stood up and grinned. "Hey, you."

Juice placed his hands on the sides of her face and kissed her softly. "Hey, sweetheart. Have you been out here the whole night?"

Gracie nodded before smiling at Half-Sack. "Yep. I was trying to teach Kip how to not suck so bad at Texas Hold 'Em."

Sack just smirked and shook his head. "Your old lady's a shark, Juice. If we would have been playing for cash, she would have cleaned me out an hour ago." Kip stood up from the table and went to stand in front of Gracie. "Thanks for trying, though. You're a good teacher, but I think I'm a lost cause."

"It's because you can't bluff, Kip. You're too sweet to be a good liar." Kip just rolled his eyes, blushing slightly. Gracie walked forward a few steps and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug. When she was close enough, she whispered in his ear. "Thank you, for everything. I don't know what I would have done without you tonight."

The prospect had seen her hours ago, sitting alone outside, with worry etched all over her face. He sat down beside her and, for the rest of the night, he ignored all the croweaters that came on to him and turned down the weed and booze he could have had. Instead he chose to sit with his friend Gracie, play some cards, and talk to her about all of her fears. She told him how scared she had been when she saw Weston on the lot, how seeing Tig almost shoot someone right in front of her freaked her out, and how she couldn't help but worry that something horrible was going to happen to Juice and all the other guys that she had grown to love so much. Kip listened to it all, gave her a hug, and reassured her that, even though it seemed like Samcro always had a new enemy, that they all knew how to handle themselves and that everything would be ok.

Kip hugged her a little tighter and whispered, "Anytime, Gracie", before waving goodbye to her and Juice and heading back to the party.

Gracie turned to Juice, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows. "So, did you find out what you need to about those guys?"

He nodded before lighting a cigarette. "Yeah, I did. But I don't want to talk about them right now." He took a long drag before giving Gracie a small smile. "I'm tired and I haven't seen you all night. I just want to take you home and go to bed. Is that ok with you?"

Gracie gave him a small, chase kiss and nodded. "That's more than ok. Let's go home."

* * *

Gracie was laying in bed, asleep in Juice's arms, when she was awakened by the sound of her phone vibrating on her nightstand. She glanced at her alarm clock and saw that it was only _4:07am_, and then reached for the phone, seeing Tara's name flash across the screen. She quietly crawled out of Juice's hold and walked silently to the bathroom, closing the door before flipping open her phone. "Tara? What's going on? It's four in the morning."

"Gracie Jane, I need you to come to my dad's house, right now."

Gracie's heart started to race at the sound of Tara's voice. Something was seriously wrong. "Are you alright?"

Tara sighed. "I'm fine. It's not me. It's Gemma."

"Knowles, what happened?"

"I can't talk about it over the phone. Just get over here, please. And Gracie, you can't tell Juice where you're going. You can't tell him anything about this."

Gracie opened the door a crack to look at Juice, who was still sleeping soundly. "Tara, what the hell is going on? What happened to Gemma? And why can't I tell Juice?"

"You know I wouldn't ask you to lie to him unless it was really important. Please Gracie Jane."

Gracie ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Ok. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Gracie hung up the phone and opened the door, trying to think of something to tell Juice. She went to her closet and threw on a pair of her scrubs before sitting down next to him on the bed. She gently rubbed his cheek with her thumb until he started to stir. "Juice? Baby, wake up."

He barely opened his eyes, still half asleep. "Gracie? What are you doing?"

Gracie took a deep breath and swallowed before speaking. "The, uh, the hospital just called, baby. The ER is really busy and they want me to come in for a little while to help out." The words felt like acid in her throat. She had never lied to Juice about anything, and it made her feel sick to her stomach.

He went to sit up but Gracie gently pushed him back down on his pillow. "Go back to sleep, baby. I'll be back before you know it."

"Are you sure? Do you want me to take you?"

Gracie shook her head. "No, I'll be fine. I'll see you soon." She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you."

Juice sighed, already on his way to drifting back to sleep. "Love you too, sweetheart."

10 minutes later, Gracie was knocking on her old front door. Much to her surprise, it wasn't Tara or Gemma that answered, but Wayne Unser, Charming's chief of police.

Before she could say anything, the older man ushered her into the house. "Come on in, honey. They're waiting for you."

When Gracie stepped into the house, she couldn't help but gasp. Tara was placing some bandages on Gemma's face, which was horribly bruised, swollen, and bloody. "Oh my god, Gemma."

Gracie went to sit down by the woman who had, over the last few months, become like a mother to her. "Jesus, what happened to you?"

Gemma glanced quickly at Gracie before closing her eyes and turning back towards Tara, not saying a word. Tara then looked at Gracie and sighed. "Gemma was attacked tonight. She was beaten pretty badly and…and she was…assaulted."

Gracie knew from the look on Tara's face exactly what she meant. Gemma, the woman who welcomed her into her family, who treated her like a surrogate daughter, Jax's mother and a woman Juice adored…Gemma had been raped.

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat as she tried furiously to blink away her tears. She had seen so many victims of violent crimes in her time as a nurse, most recently Tristan Oswald, but this is the first person that she knew, that she loved, and her heart was broken.

Her voice was trembling as she reached out for Gemma's hand. "Oh Gem…" Gracie looked to Tara and Unser, and then around the room, suddenly noticing who was missing. "Where are Clay and Jax? Why aren't they here? Where could they…" She looked at the sad look on Tara's face and suddenly everything became terrifyingly clear. "You're not telling them are you? That's why I couldn't tell Juice where I was going. This…this had something to do with the club, didn't it?"

Gemma finally opened her eyes, nearly swollen shut, and looked at Gracie. "That's right, sweetheart. There were three of them. One of them was Weston."

Gracie's blood ran cold at the mention of his name. She suddenly felt sick, thinking about how close she'd been to Weston the day before, about how Zobelle had talked to her so politely, almost sweetly. It disgusted her.

She swallowed the bile in her throat, her head still filled with unanswered questions. "But, I don't understand. Why would they do this to you?"

Gemma looked down at her lap before looking back to Gracie. "They want me to tell Clay, to make him and the guys go crazy with rage. Clay, Jax, Tiggy, all of them…they won't think first, they won't strategize. They'll attack first and think later. For some reason, those fuckers want our guys to retaliate, and I'm not playing their little fucking game." Gracie watched as Gemma's trembling hands lit a cigarette. The older woman inhaled deeply before continuing. "As long as I stay quiet, nothing happens to our family. As long as I stay quiet, they don't win."

Gemma leaned forward to put the cigarette out in the ash tray, but when she did, she winced in pain. Gracie ran her hand threw her hair and sighed, looking up to Tara. "Knowles, she needs to be in the hospital. X-rays, blood tests, scans. You can't treat her hear."

Tara nodded. "I know. That's why I called you. Wayne filed a false report saying that Gemma's injuries were the result of a car accident. He crashed her Caddy into a cement barrier out on the highway."

Gracie looked at Chief Unser in shock. She knew that he worked with the club on occasion, but she had no idea that he would be so willing to go out on a limb for Gemma.

Tara went on. "I can convince the hospital to admit her to my care so that I can perform the tests, but there are a few things I need from the ER supply room that I don't have access to."

Tara raised her eyebrows and nodded her head towards Gemma. _Oh, of course. She needs a rape kit._ Gracie just nodded.

"Also, don't you have a friend that works in the lab?"

"Yeah, I do. Martha. We eat lunch together sometimes." Martha was a 70 year old woman who had worked at St. Thomas her whole life. She was caring and funny, and she and Gracie had hit it off right away.

"I can send most of the blood work through the lab with no problems, but anything that has to do with, you know…the assault, can't be on the record."

Gracie nodded. "I can give them to Martha. If I tell her it's for a friend, she'll run the tests and give me the results. She won't say a word."

Everyone sat silently for a few moments before Unser cleared his throat. "Ok, ladies. Let's get this show on the road."

* * *

As soon as they had arrived at the hospital, Gracie used her ER ID card to get into the supply closet and take whatever she thought Tara might need. Tara was able to get Gemma directly admitted to a room where she performed all of the necessary examinations and where Gracie drew all the blood needed for the lab testing. She took the samples down to the lab where Martha rushed the tests, giving the results to Gracie in less than 20 minutes.

She went back to Gemma's room, where Tara was sitting up in the bedside chair and Gemma was staring off at the wall, a blank look on her face. When Tara saw her come in, she stood up and stretched, walking towards the door. "I'm going to get a cup of coffee, Gracie Jane. Do you want anything?"

Gracie shook her head. "No thanks, Doc." She looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was still only 7:00am. "I'm going to head home. Juice will still be asleep, and if I'm there before he wakes up, he'll probably ask less questions."

Tara nodded. "Ok. Unser is probably going to notify Clay of the 'car accident' in about an hour, so be ready for Juice to get that phone call."

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, ok."

Tara left the room leaving Gracie alone with Gemma, the matriarch of the entire MC and a virtual force of nature, looking scared and lost and alone.

Gracie was unsure of what to say. Knowing Gemma, the last thing that she would ever want is pity. She opened her mouth to speak, when Gemma suddenly looked over and shook her head. "It's ok, baby. Go home to Juice. I'm good. Just go."

Gracie, feeling totally lost herself, slowly nodded. "Um…ok, yeah, I'll just…" She started for the door, but stopped after a moment and turned to face Gemma. "Um, Gem? Do you remember the night Cameron Hayes got shot and I came to the clubhouse and helped out?"

Gemma looked at Gracie, confused, but nodded. Gracie glanced down at the floor and sighed before looking back to Gemma. "That night, all the bruises on my face? It wasn't a patient at the hospital that hit me. I was…I was attacked."

Gemma's eyes widened in surprise, but she remained silent. Gracie took a deep breath before continuing. "The man who attacked me…he didn't take it as far as what you went through, so I'm not going to even pretend to know how you're feeling right now. But if you're like me at all, you might be feeling scared and weak and victimized."

Gemma looked away from Gracie and stared back at the wall. Gracie sighed. "I just wanted to say…I just…" Gracie struggled to find the right words as she walked to Gemma's bedside and held her hand. "I just want you to know that despite everything that happened to you tonight and despite how weak you might be feeling right now…Gemma, you are the strongest woman I have ever known."

Gemma looked back up to Gracie, unshed tears filling her eyes, never speaking a word. Gracie squeezed her hand a little tighter and said, "I love you, Gemma", before walking out of the room, closing the door softly behind her, and heading back home.

* * *

Juice's day had been…well, it had been interesting. He woke when Chibs called him early in the morning to tell him that Gemma had been in a car accident. He and Gracie rushed to the hospital along with everyone else, but to everyone's relief, Tara said her injuries were minor and that everything would be ok.

From there, he rode with the guys to Caracara to check up on Otto's old lady after her porn studio got raided by the feds. Big Otto was already inside by the time Juice became a prospect, but he was still a brother and always loyal to the MC, so the least that they could do was help out Luann when Otto asked them to. She told them that she was being hassled by some other porn producer who was threatening her talent, so the guys went over there to get the asshole to back off.

Apparently, going on their little tour of Northern Cali porn studios had inspired Jax, because at church that day they voted to become partners with Luann and invest in Caracara. Juice was actually excited that he was going to get to build the web business from the ground up, and although he hardly ever watched it anymore since he was dating Gracie, he did think it was pretty cool that he was now technically in the porn business. _I mean, come on. Who doesn't like porn?_

That's where the day went all to hell. During a typical gun drop, the guys were ambushed by the Niners, which resulted in the weapons being stolen and Bobby getting shot in the shoulder. So, right now he was sitting in the clubhouse watching Tara and Gracie stitch up Bobby's gunshot wound.

As soon as she was finished, Gracie peeled off her gloves and walked over to the barstool where Juice was sitting. She walked behind the bar and poured herself a shot of Jameson, drinking it all in one gulp, before making her way over to stand between Juice's legs.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. "Please tell me you're alright. That you were nowhere near the bullets and that you were never in danger today."

Juice just held her tight in his arms and sighed. "I'm fine, Gracie. Nothing happened to me. I'm fine."

She pulled back slightly so that she could look into his eyes. "You could have been shot."

He placed his hands on her cheeks and gently pulled her close, kissing her softly. "Gracie. I'm fine. I promise."

She circled her hands around his wrists and nodded. "I love you."

Juice just kissed her on the forehead and grinned. "I love you, too."

Gracie climbed onto the next barstool and sat beside him. "So, I hear you guys are the new porn kings of Charming..."

Juice's eyes widened. "What? I mean…listen, I was going to tell you about it. It's just today was crazy and…"

Gracie just shook her head and gave him a small smile. "It's ok, baby. Jax was telling Tara all about it and I eavesdropped. He said it could be a lot of money for you guys, and it's legal. It actually sounds like a really good idea."

Juice couldn't hide the shock from his face. "Really? You're cool with it?"

Gracie just shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, in a perfect world my boyfriend wouldn't leave for work every day to be surrounded by porn stars, but I trust you. I already assume that every time I'm not with you, some other girl throws herself at you. Jesus, baby. Look at you. You're gorgeous. If I didn't trust you completely, I would make myself crazy. And besides, as long as you're behind your computer at the porn studio, I don't have to worry about you getting shot at." Gracie just winked at him. "So, as long as you don't start starring in the movies, it's fine."

Juice just smiled. "I fucking love you, Gracie Jane."

Gracie rolled her eyes but smiled. "You should."

**Please review!**

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry if I scared you all with the last chapter, giving you the impression that Gracie would be the one to be raped. That was never going to happen! I just thought that Weston commenting on Gracie and Juice's interracial relationship was a good way to start integrating her into the LOAN storyline. I didn't even realize how much it seemed like she was in danger until the reviews started to come in. So just to set your minds at ease, I will never write a rape scene. It's just not something I could ever do. And the only physical harm that will ever come to Gracie in this story already happened, when she was attacked by Josh Kohn. I promise. I'll keep her safe :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi Everyone! So, I've had a nasty case of writer's block, my first since starting this story. I know exactly how this story will end, and I know a few key points in between, but I write most of my chapters from week to week and usually have no idea what they will contain until I sit down and start typing. Anyway, I've decided to start moving quickly through this season in hopes of getting to some of the storylines I really want to write.**

**I've had this (very fluffy) idea in my head for a while, and decided to include it in this chapter. Writing this made me smile and I hope you like it as much as I do. Thank you so much for reading and please review!**

Chapter 30

Gracie snuck out of bed as quietly as she could, looking back at Juice sleeping peacefully in their bed, and smiled before silently making her way to the kitchen. The last few weeks since Gemma's attack had been beyond hectic. The ER had been short handed so she'd been working extra shifts. And when she wasn't at the hospital, she tried to spend as much time as she could with Ellie and Kenny Winston, since Opie was never really around anymore. Gracie was also trying to be there for Gemma, even though Gem wasn't making it easy. And even though he never told her the details, she knew that Juice was stressed out about all the craziness surrounding the club.

But as Gracie turned on the coffee maker and got her mixing bowls down, she blocked every negative, distracting thought from her mind. None of that mattered today, because today was special. Today was going to be perfect…

* * *

Juice yawned and stretched as he slowly opened his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, he actually felt well rested. The last few weeks had been a shit storm. It seemed like every day the club was faced with a new fucking hassle. A few days ago they found out that Darby was working with Zobelle and Weston, dealing meth in Charming, and in turn figured out that David Hale might be working with The League. They blew up the house where Darby was cooking, Opie barely making it away from the explosion in time. Big Otto got jumped in prison by a bunch of Aryans, losing an eye, and the table was split on when and how to retaliate against Zobelle. Clay and Gemma were fighting nonstop, which meant that Clay was making everyone else fucking miserable, and everybody was worried about the growing tension between their President and their VP, although no one had any clue what the hell was going on or how to fix it. Worst of all, between club shit and getting the porn site up and running, he had barely spent any time with Gracie. For the last few weeks, it seemed like the only time they saw each other was at night when they were both exhausted and desperate for sleep. He fucking hated it.

And to make matters worse, tomorrow all of Samcro was headed north to Eureka for a charity run, at least officially. They were really going to deliver the latest shipment of Irish guns. Juice tried to focus on anything except how miserable he would be without Gracie for the next few days, dreading the thought of sleeping alone. _God, I fucking miss her._ He reached over to her side of the bed and felt the cool, empty sheets and sighed. _Shit, I didn't think she was working today. _He looked at the clock on the nightstand and his eyes suddenly widened. Somehow his alarm had never gone off and it was nearly 9:00am. He should have been at TM an hour ago. _Christ, it just keeps getting better._

He was just about to climb out of bed when the bedroom door slowly opened and in walked Gracie, still dressed in her tank top and sleep shorts, carrying a big tray of food.

She never stopped smiling as she walked towards him and set the tray on his lap. It had coffee, orange juice, bacon, and a huge stack of blueberry pancakes with a little candle burning in the middle. She placed her hands on his cheeks, then leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Happy Birthday, Juice."

He just stared at his girl in awe. With everything going on, he had completely forgotten about his birthday. And it's not like it was ever a big deal anyway. He had never had a birthday party, not even as a kid. No presents. No cake. And ever since he became a Son, Gemma had gotten him a card every year, but that's it. To Juice, it was just another day, another year older. He should have known that Gracie would find a way to make it special.

He looked down at his breakfast and smiled before looking up at Gracie. "Sweetheart, this is amazing, but you didn't have to do all this."

Gracie just shook her head and grinned. "Baby, it's your birthday. An entire day completely dedicated to celebrating the person I love most in the world. It's my new favorite day of the year." She leaned in and kissed him again, this one slower, deeper, filled with all love she had for him. "Now make a wish."

Juice lost himself in those gorgeous, big green eyes and found himself speechless. Sometimes it was still so hard to believe that a woman like Gracie; so beautiful and perfect and sweet, could love a guy like him. But here she was, not only telling him how much she cared, but showing him every moment of every single day. She totally blew him away.

He looked down at the little candle and blew it out quickly before returning his gaze to Gracie.

Her smile widened. "So, are you going to tell me what you wished for?"

Juice just shook his head. "I didn't wish for anything, Gracie Jane." He reached out and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, gently pulling her forward and giving her a small, chaste kiss. "I already have everything I ever wanted."

He kissed her again before digging into his breakfast, speaking to her between bites. "Thanks Gracie, really. This is incredible, but I have to hurry. I think I slept through my alarm or something, and I'm late for work."

Gracie just shook her head, a sly grin crossing her face. "You didn't sleep through it. I turned it off. And you're not late, baby. You have the whole day off."

Juice's eyes widened in surprise. "I do?"

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. She looked so proud of herself. "Yep. It's all taken care of. Lowell is covering your shift at TM and Chibs talked to Clay about giving you the day off from club business. They'll call you in case of an emergency, but other than that, you're all mine."

A sexy smirk flashed across Juice's face when he heard her words. "Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do with me, Gracie Jane?"

She just smiled as she climbed into bed next to him, kissing his cheek before stealing a piece of bacon off his plate. "I've got a whole day of fun things planned, baby. You'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

Juice and Gracie chatted happily while he finished his breakfast, Gracie stealing a few bites of his pancakes. When he had cleaned his plate and drank the last of his coffee, he leaned back and rubbed his stomach. "God, that was delicious. Thanks again, sweetheart."

Gracie crawled off the bed and removed the tray from Juice's lap, placing it on top of their dresser. "You're very welcome, baby." She turned back around and smiled. "So, first item on my list of surprises, breakfast in bed, was a success. Now it's time for your second surprise."

Juice couldn't hide the excitement in his voice. "Oh yeah? And what's that?"

His breath hitched when he saw a sexy smile cross Gracie's face. She never broke eye contact as she slowly slid her shorts down her legs and lifted the tank top over her head, leaving her completely naked.

She bit her lip and looked briefly at the floor before lifting her eyes to his once more. "You're next surprise is…me. Anything, anywhere…any way you want me."

Juice's jaw dropped slightly as he felt himself start to harden. He took in every inch; the curve of her hips, the length of her legs, the rise and fall of her breasts, with his gaze finally resting on her face, her normally fair skin blushing pink under the heat of his stare. _God, she's so fucking pretty._ He thought about all the ways he'd still never had her, all the places in the apartment they'd yet to christen, all the hot fantasies he constantly had about new ways to fuck her…but looking at her now, standing there completely open to him, caring for him, cherishing him…he didn't want to fuck her. He wanted to make love to her.

Juice's eyes warmed as his voice softened. "Come here."

She crossed the small distance to the bed, watching him throw back the sheets and pull off his boxers, before settling back into a sitting position with his back resting against the headboard.

When she stood beside the bed, he reached out to hold one of her hands, gently pulling her down so that she straddled his lap. He moved one hand to her hip while using the other to sweep a few stray auburn locks away from her face. "I love you, Grace. I'm gonna love you forever."

She simply nodded. He didn't need to tell her what he wanted. She knew it in the intense, emotional way he looked at her, knew by the sound of the barely there vulnerability in his voice that he only ever allowed her to hear. Gracie placed her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him, slowly but passionately, until she was breathless. "Forever, Juan Carlos. I promise."

She kissed him again, her lips traveling from his mouth, over his jaw line, and down the side of his neck. Her movements were patient and unhurried, as though she was savoring every taste of the salt on his skin, memorizing every feel and touch. He sighed as her fingers trailed down his chest, her lips moving past his collar bone down to his nipple that she licked and kissed before moving further south.

Gracie raised her head up to his one more time and smiled softly before grasping his now rock hard length, leaning down, and taking him completely in her mouth.

Juice moaned loudly, tangling his hands in her hair. "Oh my god, sweetheart. Fuck, that's so…" His words were lost, replaced by a whimper, as Gracie gently sucked on the sensitive head, her tongue fluttering against his slit, and then swirling it down the length of his shaft.

He held her hair back with both hands and watched transfixed as her head bobbed up and down, euphoria coursing through his entire body with every move she made. Juice felt her moan around his now throbbing cock and he squeezed his eyes shut as the vibrations sent waves of electricity up his spine. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, loving that Gracie never moaned just to please him…she honestly loved going down on him, every time, and the thought of her getting off on giving him pleasure was almost too much to handle.

As soon as he felt her hand start massaging his balls, Juice grasped the sides of Gracie's face and gently pulled her up. When he looked into his eyes, he shook his head and spoke through panting breaths. "Not like that sweetheart. Please."

He felt her nod as he crashed his lips down onto hers, groaning into her mouth when he tasted his precum. Their tongues danced together, smoothly, perfectly, as Gracie ran her fingernails down the back of his neck and Juice raised his hands to her breasts. They both deepened the kiss, even while she whimpered and sighed as she felt Juice's thumbs run in circles over her sensitive nipples.

Juice's erection was now almost painful and he was desperate to be inside of her. He grabbed Gracie's hips and lifted them slightly before grasping his dick in his hand, positioning it at her entrance. He looked into her eyes, always so clear and bright, now darkened and hazy with want. His voice was strangled and rough. "Are you ready for me, sweetheart?"

He held his breath as he watched Gracie use one hand to caress his cheek as the other trailed down her breast, over her stomach, and down between her legs, two fingers disappearing into her center. She moaned as she plunged them inside of her a few times before removing them and bringing them up to his lips. He immediately opened his mouth and sucked on the now glistening fingers, relishing the taste of the proof of Gracie's arousal. He licked them clean, never getting enough of the salty, sweet flavor of his girl, before Gracie pulled them slowly from his mouth and placed both of her hands on his shoulders.

Without another word, Juice ran the head of his cock quickly through her folds before pulling her down completely, his entire length buried inside of her. They both cried out, always unprepared for how amazing it felt to be totally connected, every single time. For a moment, neither made any movement; Gracie contented with feeling Juice's fullness stretching and filling every part of her, Juice lost in the way her slick, hot center tightened and massaged around his dick.

A few seconds later, Gracie kissed him again, sweetly and lazily, as she moved her hips on top of him at a torturously slow pace.

Juice couldn't get enough of her, biting and then licking her lip before sucking her tongue back into his mouth. No words were present in his mind, no thoughts crossed his usually overloaded brain. The only thing that existed in that moment was sensation; the sound of Gracie's moans, the feel of her lips on his, the softness of the skin on her back that he couldn't stop kneading and caressing, the tension he felt in her thighs as she rocked gently on top of him. It was too much, it wasn't nearly enough, it was ecstasy and agony and it was perfect.

When he felt the familiar pull in his belly signaling his coming release, Juice moved one of his hands down to Gracie's pussy, rubbing three fingers over her clit in tight, fast circles. Her cries got louder as she sped up her pace, and Juice groaned at the feeling of her nails digging into the back of his scalp so deeply he thought he might bleed. It only took a few more moments for Gracie to shatter, her walls tightening around his cock, her entire body shaking. She was still screaming his name when he thrust himself upwards hard and fast a few more times before finally exploding, biting down on her shoulder as his body shuddered against hers, spilling himself deep inside her.

As they both started to come down from their highs, dripping in sweat and gasping for air, neither made a move to separate. Juice just wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her completely against him as he buried his face in the hair that fell over her shoulder. He breathed in deeply and inhaled her scent before lifting his head so that he could look into her eyes.

Moments like this were what they lived for. Every day together, every second was special; the laughing and talking, fucking and loving, the life that they shared was amazing. But moments like this, when they were alone, when no words were spoken, when they were connected in every way possible…these were the moments when they could look at each other and both finally know what it meant to completely belong to another person.

A few minutes later, Gracie slowly lifted herself off of his lap, regrettably breaking the beautiful trance they were in. She tried to move off the bed, but Juice tightened his hold, shaking his head and smiling. "Nope, no way. It's my birthday, right? Well, all I want for my birthday is to stay in this bed, right here, with you, all fucking day."

Gracie grinned as she tried unsuccessfully to get away. "But baby, your birthday surprises aren't over."

He leaned forward and gave her a small, sweet kiss. "Nothing you have planned could be better than staying in bed all day. Nothing."

Gracie's smile widened before she bit down on her lower lip. "Well, how about this…You let me take you out today, and I'll let you ravage me again in the shower before we leave? Please?"

Juice couldn't help but laugh at the playful, pleading look on her face. He shook his head and sighed. _Like I could ever say no to her. _"Alright, fine. But you're going to be good and ravaged."

"Yay!" Gracie laughed before throwing her arms around him again. "We're going to have so much fun today." She jumped off the bed, pulling Juice up with her and dragging him towards the bathroom. "Come on, Ortiz. Let's take that shower."

He tried his best to look annoyed, but he couldn't hide his grin. _I've barely been awake for an hour, and this is already the best birthday I've ever had._

* * *

Gracie couldn't wipe the grin off her face as she threw on her clothes and quickly applied her makeup. True to his word, the first thing that Juice did in the shower was drop to his knees and devour her with his tongue, making her fall apart again before quickly lifting her up and fucking her senseless against the shower wall. She could feel her cheeks redden at the memory even as her smile widened. _Yep, definitely good and ravaged._

Glancing at herself one more time in the mirror, she adjusted her oversized black sweater so that it hung loosely off one shoulder. Then she rolled the ankles of her dark blue skinny jeans before lacing up her black converse and heading outside.

Juice was sitting on his bike, smoking a cigarette, when Gracie walked down the steps from the apartment. He smiled as soon as he saw her, tight jeans showing off her gorgeous body and her still damp, coppery hair hanging past her shoulders in loose, natural waves. But his smile quickly faded when he saw her nervously shake her head and walk towards her Mustang.

Gracie winced at the expression on his face and sighed. "Come on, baby. You have to let me drive. If we take your bike, I have to tell you where we're going, and I want it to be a surprise."

Juice just sighed as he climbed off his bike and walked towards Gracie's car. "So you're not letting me stay in bed with you all day, and I'm being forced to ride bitch in a cage? What kind of birthday is this?"

Gracie just grinned. He was trying so hard to look pissed, but she could see the laughter and happiness in his eyes. "It's the kind where you trust me to show you a good time. I mean, you've enjoyed yourself so far, right Juan Carlos?"

A slow smile spread across his face as he walked over to Gracie, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and kissing her forehead. "Yeah, sweetheart. I really have. Thank you."

Gracie's heart warmed at the sincerity and gratitude in his voice. She gave him a kiss on the cheek before they both climbed into the car. Gracie started up her Mustang and smiled over at Juice sitting in the passenger's seat. "Buckle up, baby. Off to surprise number 3…"

* * *

Juice knew that no matter where she was taking him, as long as he was with Gracie, he was going to have an awesome time. But nothing could have prepared him for how fucking fantastic his day would be. Despite not taking his bike, the drive was great. When they weren't trying to make each other laugh with stupid jokes, they were blaring classic rock, Juice loving the sound of Gracie singing along to the stereo, even if most of the time she was horribly off key. After about an hour, they stopped for lunch at a little Mexican food truck parked on a small road off the highway, and both agreed they had the best tacos on the planet. From there, it was just a few more miles before Juice saw the signs for San Francisco.

When they got into the city, Gracie drove downtown for a few minutes before parking in front of what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. He looked at her skeptically, but she just smiled as they both climbed out of the car and walked hand in hand across the street to the entrance.

Gracie's voice was giddy as she placed her hand on the door handle. "I heard about this place when I came here by myself a few months ago. I hope you like it. I'm so excited!"

She swung open the door, and as soon as they walked in and Juice looked around, his jaw hit the floor. It was the biggest, most bad ass, most amazing arcade he had ever seen. His eyes widened in surprise and straight up fucking glee. "Holy fucking shit, Gracie Jane." The place was packed with people, lights and sounds flashing in every direction, and there was a huge square shaped bar in the center of the building, indicating that this was an arcade for grown-ups, something that he had no idea even existed. He looked up and saw that there seemed to be three different floors, each with a different style of games, and Juice had no idea where to even begin. _Fuck, this is gonna be fun._

He turned towards Gracie and grabbed her face, kissing her quickly and flashing her a huge, goofy grin. "I fucking love you."

Gracie smiled just as big. "I fucking love you too, birthday boy. Now let's go win me a teddy bear."

They were there for hours, and Juice couldn't remember ever having so much fun. They shot pool, played every old school arcade game he had ever loved, took turns beating each other at different racing games, and Juice did, in fact, win Gracie a big pink teddy bear. And the whole time, no matter what they were doing, he couldn't help but notice that despite growing a year older, he actually felt younger than he had in years. Today he wasn't a member of an MC. He wasn't a felon or a fuck up. There was no danger. No Zobelle, or Niners, or Mayans. Today he was just some 29 year old mechanic and computer geek, running around an arcade like he was a little kid, celebrating his birthday with the most beautiful girl in the world. He was relaxed and happy and in love. And it felt so fucking good.

It was early evening by the time they walked back out to the car, Gracie handing Juice the keys since she knew he preferred to drive when they were together. When they put on their seatbelts and pulled out onto the road, Gracie glanced over to Juice and smiled. "So, did you have a good birthday?"

Juice kept his eyes on the road but reached over and grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it softly. "Best birthday ever."

They drove back to Charming in peaceful quiet, Juice never once letting go of Gracie's hand.

* * *

It was almost eight o'clock by the time they pulled up in front of their apartment. They got out of the car and Juice once again grabbed Gracie's hand, lacing her fingers with his own. She looked up at him and smiled, trying her best to hide the nervous excitement in her voice. "So, uh, how about we watch a movie or something? Maybe order a pizza? I think I'm too tired to cook."

Juice just shrugged his shoulders. "Sure sweetheart. Sounds good."

Gracie bit her lip and nodded as she placed her key in the lock, deliberately taking a little too long to turn it, before slowly opening the door. When they walked into the almost pitch black apartment, Gracie turned towards Juice and placed her hands on his cheeks. "Um, Juice. There's something I forgot to tell you about."

"What's that, Gracie Jane?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him sweetly, smiling against his lips. "Surprise number 4."

Just then the lights came on and Tara, Jax, and Chibs all yelled "surprise!"

Everyone smiled at the totally stunned expression on Juice's face. He was speechless as everyone came up to him and wished him happy birthday, Tara giving him a hug while Jax and Chibs shook his hand and patted him on the back. He turned back towards and shook his head in wonder. "A birthday party, Gracie? You actually threw me a birthday party?"

Gracie blushed, unable to tell if Juice was happy about it or not. "I mean, I didn't think you'd want the whole club, like a really big party. Just, you know, close friends. I hope this is ok. I just thought that it would be nice, and we all love you and…"

Her rambling was silenced when Juice leaned down and kissed her with everything he had, causing Chibs and Jax to groan. After a few moments, Juice pulled back and smiled. "I don't know what to say, Gracie Jane. I love it. Thank you."

Tara walked over to the stove and stirred some food in a large stock pot. "Well, go sit down everybody. Dinner's ready."

Juice's eyes widened. "You cooked me dinner, Doc?"

Jax scoffed. "Fuck no, Juicey. Why would we want to kill you on your birthday?"

Everyone tried to hide their laughter while Tara just rolled her eyes. "Haha. Very funny, Jackson. No Juice, I didn't cook. Gracie came over to my house yesterday and made everything. I'm just in charge of reheating."

Juice kissed Gracie once more on the forehead before sitting down at the table. Gracie and Tara made everyone a huge plate of Spaghetti and Meatballs, Juice's favorite, and the five friends sat around the little kitchen table, eating and laughing, going through countless bottles of wine and telling an endless number of stories.

After Gracie cleared the plates off the table, she went to the refrigerator and pulled out a huge chocolate cake, setting it down in front of him. Juice just stared at it, like it was something he had never seen. _My first birthday cake. _He looked up to Gracie's beaming face and smiled. _Just when I think she can't get even more incredible. _"You made me a cake, Gracie Jane?"

Gracie kissed him softly and grinned, shaking her head at him like it was silliest question she'd ever heard. "Of course I did, baby. It's your birthday."

After everyone had eaten way too much cake, Juice even got to open a couple of presents; a giftcard for him and Gracie to a nice restaurant in Oakland from Tara and Jax, and a new accessory for his bike from Chibs.

As the clock neared midnight, Jax reminded everyone that they had to get up early to leave for the run to Eureka, and everyone stood to say their goodbyes. While Juice was thanking Jax and Tara, Gracie walked over to her Scotsman and gave him a big hug. "Thank you so much for coming tonight, Chibs." She leaned up on her toes and whispered in his ear. "You know, he loves all his brothers, but I think he loves you the most."

Chibs grinned before leaning down and kissing Gracie on the cheek. "I wouldn't have missed it, love. Thanks for inviting me."

Gracie looked into his gorgeous brown eyes and smiled warmly. "Be careful on the run, ok? I worry about you guys the whole time you're gone."

Chibs just shook his head and grinned at his favorite little redhead. "I'll be careful. I swear. Don't you worry, sweet girl."

Gracie and Juice walked their friends to the door, saying goodbye before locking up and turning out the lights. Gracie started to walk towards the bedroom, but Juice pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms around her waist and smiling. "Gracie, today was…fuck, sweetheart. It was perfect. The best day I've ever had. Really, I can't even…"

"Actually, baby. There's just one more thing."

Juice tilted his head to the side and grinned. "Oh yeah?"

Gracie gave him a small, shy smile before taking his hand and leading him to their bedroom. She guided him to sit on the side of the bed and then walked over to their dresser, digging in the back of one of her drawers, and then pulling out a small gift wrapped box.

Juice just shook his head. "No, Gracie. After everything you did today? You didn't need to get me a present."

Gracie chewed on her lower lip as she sat down beside him. "It's not really that kind of gift. It's just something I've wanted to give you for a while. Something that I think should belong to you."

Juice looked at the nervous expression on her face and then down at the box in front of him. He tore off the paper and lifted the lid, revealing a small, worn and faded green canvas pouch that obviously held something inside of it. He looked up at Gracie and saw her nod. "Go on, baby. Open it."

He lifted the flap and reached his fingers inside, slowly pulling out an old compass, dented and scratched with wear. When he looked back up at Gracie, she was staring down at it too, tears in her eyes. She gazed at the compass for a few more moments before looking back to Juice. "It was my dad's. My mom gave it to him when they were dating. She said that it was so he could always find his way back to her. And he carried it with him for years, through every deployment, every mission, everywhere until she died. Then he gave it to me. And now…and now it's yours."

Juice shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Gracie, I can't keep this. I can't…"

"Please, Juice." She smiled sweetly in spite of the tears that escaped down her cheeks. "Please, I want you to have it. I want you to carry it with you, on every run, every ride, in every dangerous situation you might find yourself in. When you're feeling lost or scared or overwhelmed, or when you're just far away and feeling alone, I want you to look at it and point it towards Charming, and know that someone is waiting for you to come home. I want you to look at it and know how much I love you."

Juice wiped the away the tears building up in his eyes, looking down at the compass in his hands before gazing back at Gracie. "How am I ever supposed to thank you for this? How am I every supposed to thank you for what you did for me today, for what you've done for me every day since I've known you? How, sweetheart?"

Gracie leaned forward and kissed away the few tears he couldn't stop from falling. "Just always find your way back to me, Juice. That's all I'll ever need."

**Please review…**


	31. Chapter 31

**Writing the last chapter made me fall in love with this story all over again, so I couldn't wait to sit down and start working on this update. Thank you to everyone out there who is still reading this, especially to those of you who consistently review. Your feedback is loved and appreciated. I simply adore you.**

**So here's another one! Here we go…**

Chapter 31

The Mustang and the Cutlass pulled up in front of the little diner at the exact same time.

"God, Doc, I've missed you." Gracie ran to Tara and gave her a big hug. It seemed like forever since they had spent any quality time together.

Tara pulled back and smiled. "I've missed you too, Gracie Jane. I'm sorry I've been such a shitty friend. But I've been working, like, 60 hours a week at the hospital, and I'm trying my best to get it right this time with Jax, and trying to figure out how to be a mom to Abel and…"

Gracie took one of Tara's hands and squeezed. "Hey, Knowles. It's ok, really. I've been working a lot too. And between my job, Juice, and Opie's kids, I haven't made much time for you either."

Tara nodded. "And of course, there's Gemma…"

Gracie bit her lip and winced as she inspected the damage to Tara's nose. "It, uh, really doesn't look that bad."

Tara rolled her eyes but smiled. "You are the worst liar, Gracie. It looks hideous, but at least the bruising is starting to fade. It's weird, but despite punching me in the face, Gemma and I are actually starting to get along. By the way, did I tell you that Margaret Murphy took one look at my face and assumed that Jax is beating me?"

Gracie just shook her head. "That's completely ridiculous."

Tara simply shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not worried about her. It's just annoying. Honestly, I'm a lot more worried about Gemma. I mean, when she did this to me it was an accident, but she's terrified. I've tried getting her to see a counselor, but of course she's refusing to talk about it. Other than what she tells me, you, and Unser, she's keeping everything bottled up inside, and I feel like one of these days she's going to completely explode."

Gracie nodded. "I know, but we can't force her to open up about what happened. We just have to keep doing what we're doing; trying to support her, respect her privacy, and protect the guys."

Tara sighed. "Yeah, I know." She walked towards the door to the diner and held it open. "Come on Gracie Jane. I'm starving. Let's eat way too much food and start this Girl's Day off right."

* * *

After a long breakfast where they caught up on gossip, laughed about old stories, and had some much needed girl talk about their guys, Gracie and Tara headed over to TM to say bye to Juice and Jax. They were spending the day together at a spa in Oakland, then shopping and a late dinner. It was going to be a little vacation from the stress of work and the craziness that the club had brought into their lives; just the two of them, just like old times.

As the girls pulled into the TM lot, they saw Gemma parking her Caddy. Gracie and Tara got out of their cars and walked over to the older woman, each giving her a hug. Gracie took one look at Gemma's outfit and couldn't help but grin. From her perfectly hightlighted hair, cropped leather jacket, skin tight skinny jeans, and knee high boots, she looked absolutely amazing. Gracie looked down at her plain white t-shirt, beat-up denim jacket, faded black jeans, and red converse high-tops and sighed. _Face it, Anderson. You will never be as fabulous as Gemma Teller-Morrow._

The three women chatted outside the clubhouse for a few minutes before the guys started walking outside to the lot, all of them looking something close to angry, disappointed, and frustrated. Jax walked towards them and gave his mom and Gracie each a kiss on the cheek before wrapping his arm around Tara's shoulder and lighting a cigarette.

Gemma took off her aviator glasses and placed her hands on her hips. "What's wrong?"

Jax just shook his head as he blew out a long cloud of smoke. "Tough vote."

Gemma looked around the lot and sighed. "Where is he?"

Jax took another drag before gesturing his hand towards the clubhouse. "Chapel."

Gemma nodded before turning and walking away without another word. Jax gave Tara a small, sweet kiss before turning to look at Gracie. "I think Juicey's still inside too, darlin'."

"Oh, ok. Thanks. Knowles, I'll just be a minute and then we can get going."

Gracie started walking towards the clubhouse but stopped when she saw Chibs standing with some of the mechanics, looking at the tow run sheets for the day. "Hey, Chibs."

Chibs looked up at Gracie and smiled, although not nearly as brightly as usual. His voice, normally so cheerful, sounded drawn and tired. "Hello there, love."

He went to Gracie and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her a few inches off the ground as she looped her arms around his neck and returned his hug. "Is everything alright?"

Chibs lowered her back to the ground and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Everything's just fine, sweet girl."

Gracie placed her hand on his cheek, shaking her head. "And everyone says that I'm the terrible liar."

Chibs huffed out a laugh before looking to the ground. "We're just dealing with some shite, love. The table's divided on how to deal with it, and I don't like it. Don't like how it feels."

Looking into his warm brown eyes, so full of concern, Gracie wished that Chibs would open up to her and talk about whatever was bothering him, but she knew that he would never discuss details of the club with her. So instead of prying, she just gave him a small smile. "It'll all be ok, Chibs. Whatever is going on, you guys will eventually come together and figure out how to fix it. I know it."

Chibs smiled down at the lovely woman in front of him and was reminded again why she was so dear to him. "And how can you be so sure?"

Gracie squeezed the hand that she was still holding. "I don't know. Maybe I just have more faith in you guys than you do in yourselves."

He couldn't help but grin. "Thanks, Grace. I love ya, ya know that?"

Gracie smiled and nodded. "I know. I love you too."

She started walking away when she heard Chibs call out. "You know, that offer to run away with me is still on the table."

Gracie turned around in time to see him wink, laughter finally filling his eyes. She just shook her head and grinned. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Juice was sitting at the bar, downing some shots with Hap and Piney. It was still morning, but after the church they'd just had, they all needed to take the edge off. He inwardly cringed as he remembered the disappointed look on Jax's face when he voted with Clay for immediate retaliation against Zobelle. And if he was honest with himself, deep down, he knew that Jax was right. The smart thing to do would be to wait and see how everything plays out. He just hated these guys so much. He hated the racist, bigoted shit they stood for, hated what they did to Otto, hated that they thought they had the right to come to Charming and threaten his brotherhood. But mostly, he hated that they were so close to Gracie; that their home was just down the block from the cigar shop, that she had to avoid Main Street when she went on her runs because she was scared of another run in with Weston, that those ignorant assholes had ever even spoken to her, let alone knew her name. Yeah, he probably should have voted with Jax and Chibs to wait, but he was too fucking pissed to think clearly. As it turned out, it didn't matter anyway. Bobby surprised everyone by voting with Jax and the table was split, so no majority meant there would be no immediate revenge. They just had to sit and wait.

The guys looked up from their drinks when the door opened and Gemma walked inside. She walked over and gave Hap and Juice each a kiss on the cheek, and then hugged Piney tightly. "Hey, old man. Everything alright?"

Piney faked a grin and nodded. "It's all good, sweetheart."

Gemma gave him a knowing look and then walked towards the chapel, but turned around just before walking through the big black doors. "Oh, Juicey. Grace is outside."

Juice looked up at her and nodded. "Thanks, Gem." He gulped down one more shot and patted his brothers on their backs before hopping off the barstool and heading out to the lot.

* * *

Looking back on it now, it seemed like everything happened in slow motion. Juice walked outside and saw Gracie making her way towards the picnic tables. The sun was shining behind her, making the copper in her hair even more intensely red, and when he saw the way her face lit up when she noticed him, he couldn't help but grin. Just one smile from Gracie, and he could feel the weight of the day being slowly lifted off his shoulders.

He had just reached out to her, barely making contact with her hand, when he looked over her shoulder and saw Chibs jump out of the minivan and start running. And just a moment later it happened. The van exploded, creating a huge blast that lifted Chibs from the ground and sent him flying. The second the car bomb went off Juice instinctually jumped on top of Gracie, pulling her hard to the ground and covering her with his body. And just a moment later, when the shrapnel and debris had all fallen to the ground, he heard his brothers' screams.

Jax was the first person to make it to Chibs. His hands were shaking as he knelt down beside his friend and brother, terrified by the growing pool of blood beneath his head. "Chibs! Chibs! Fuck! Tara, Gracie, help! Somebody call an ambulance! Chibs!"

Gracie had to push Juice off of her as she ran as fast as she could towards Chibs, falling to her knees beside his head. She didn't hear all the people yelling or notice the huge fire raging around the van only a few feet away from her. All she saw was one of her best friends, one of the few people she loved in the world, bleeding out in front of her. Everything in her mind went silent except for the voice screaming at her in her head. _Focus Grace. Do your job. He's going to be fine. He's not going to die. You're going to save him. Focus, Anderson. Focus._

Gracie took a breath as she quickly peeled off her denim jacket and held it firmly against Chibs' head wound, slowing the blood flow as best she could. She looked up and saw Tara still frozen by the picnic tables, hands raised in horror over her mouth. "Knowles, get over here now!"

The commanding tone in Gracie's voice snapped Tara out of her shock and propelled her forward. Tara immediately knelt down beside Gracie and the two worked in tandem; unzipping his kutte and unbuttoning his shirt, checking his pulse and pupils, making sure his airway was clear, assessing the rest of his body while keeping enough pressure on his head. His heart never stopped, but his pulse was thready and weak due the overwhelming blood loss, evident by Gracie's now saturated jacket.

Juice could do nothing but stare helplessly at the sight in front of him. Chibs looked so pale and lifeless, his shallow breaths barely visible by the slight rise and fall of his chest. _And Gracie. Jesus Christ. _She was covered in blood; her jeans, shirt, and arms all stained crimson. But he could tell she was completely unaware of it. He had never seen her like this; so determined, so in the zone. Tara had told him what a great nurse she was, how amazing she had always been in an emergency, how calm she was in a crisis, but he was still in awe of her. She had charged towards Chibs, not giving a shit about the blast, so brave, so selfless. She made him so fucking proud.

Just a few minutes later, they all heard the sound of sirens. The ambulance barreled in the lot, two medics jumping out and racing to place Chibs on a gurney. They were from St. Thomas and immediately recognized Grace, so they let her help them place Chibs in a neck brace, get vital signs, and hook him up to a portable heart monitor. They listened carefully to her as she gave them a quick rundown of what happened, and didn't question her as she climbed into the back of the ambulance, unwilling to leave her friend's side.

Everyone on the lot had been watching Chibs…everyone except for Juice. He never once took his eyes off of Gracie. He noticed everything; the purpose and skill in every move she made, the calm, almost detached professionalism in her actions. And because he was the only one watching her, his was the only heart that broke when, just before the ambulance doors slammed closed, he finally saw her fall apart, grabbing one of Chibs' hands before lowering her head and sobbing.

Juice and the other guys all started for their bikes, but before they could get out of the lot, a sea of law enforcement and firefighters descended on TM. They were stuck there for what seemed like forever as they were all endlessly questioned and pointlessly hassled. When Charming PD finally cleared out they thought they had their chance to get to the hospital, but Clay called an emergency church.

Juice walked towards the clubhouse, unaware of the tremors coursing through his body, his mind still reeling from the events of the last couple of hours. He had texted Gracie a couple of times, never getting a response, and he could literally feel the anxiety building up inside him.

He walked past Jax and Tara just as his VP was telling his girl that everything would be ok. But just before Juice walked inside he heard Tara's scared, shaken voice say, "No, it's not going to be ok. It's never going to be ok."

And for the rest of the day, no matter how hard he tried to quiet it, Juice heard Tara's voice in his head repeating those words over and over again, and he couldn't help but think that she was right.

* * *

Almost three hours after the bomb went off, Gracie was finally walking out of St. Thomas. Chibs was out of surgery and in stable but critical condition. The doctors told her he probably wouldn't regain consciousness for at least another day, so after seeing him briefly in the recovery unit, she made her way downstairs to the ER. Once there she went to the employee locker room, stripped off her bloody, ruined clothes, and took a scalding hot shower. Then she threw on the extra clothes she always had in her work locker; a pair of loose boyfriend jeans, a white tank top, her old gray University of Chicago hoodie she'd had since college, and a pair of black flip flops.

Once she was outside and realized that she didn't have her car, it finally occurred to her to look at her phone. She quickly responded to Juice's texts, telling him that she was fine and updating him on Chibs. 30 seconds later she got his response.

_Thank god he's going to be ok. I'll tell everybody.-J_

Before she could even start typing, but her phone beeped again.

_You can't come back to TM today. I'll call you as soon as I can. I love you.-J_

Gracie just ran a hand threw her still damp hair and sighed. She could only imagine what the guys were about to do, and she was terrified. Her hands were trembling as she texted back her simple response.

_Please be careful. I love you so much.-G_

As soon as she pressed send, she called Tara and asked her to come to the hospital and take her home, so she was a little surprised when, ten minutes later, Gemma's Cadillac pulled up in front of St. Thomas, Tara riding in the passenger seat.

Gracie opened the door and climbed into the back seat. She didn't say a word, not caring where they were going or what they were doing. She was scared, lost, and completely exhausted, trying like hell not to break down and cry.

The three women were silent until Gemma pulled into her driveway. She saw the fear on Tara and Grace's face and sighed. "Come with me, girls."

Tara and Grace followed Gemma into her house and watched as she stood up on a chair, removed a panel from the ceiling, and retrieved two different hat boxes.

She placed them on the table, lifted the lids, and grinned. "Ok, pick one."

Their eyes widened as they saw that each box contained at least six handguns. Tara gasped. "Jesus Gemma, do you and Clay really need this many guns?"

Gemma shook her head. "These are just mine." Tara picked up one of the revolvers, but Gracie hadn't moved. "Come on, sweetheart. Find one you like. You need it."

Gracie shook her head. "I have guns at home, Gemma. If I have to, I can just carry one of those."

Gemma shook her head. "And I bet they're all registered, aren't they?" She waited for Gracie to nod before continuing. "Then you need one of these. Unregistered. No serial numbers. Trust me."

Gracie sighed before looking down at the boxes and pulling out a Glock 9mm. Gemma just looked at her skeptically. "Are you sure, sweetheart? That's a big gun."

Gracie just bit her lip as she looked down at the pistol in her hand. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Gemma quickly put the boxes back in their hiding place before making her way back outside. "Alright, let's go practice."

Fifteen minutes later, Gracie was standing outside Caracara watching Gemma teach Tara how to shoot a .38. She watched as Gem patted Tara on the shoulder, advising her to take a deep breath before gently squeezing the trigger. After she missed the target for the fifth time in a row, Gemma looked back at Gracie and raised her eyebrows. "I thought you said you took this girl to a shooting range?"

Gracie shrugged her shoulders. "More than once actually. She never really got the hang of it."

Tara turned around, an exasperated look on her face. "I'm right here, you know. I can here you."

Gemma hung up another target, which was just a poster of one of the porn stars that she took from the studio. "Why don't you take a break, Dr. Knowles. Gracie, you're up."

Gracie walked up to where the two were standing and shook her head. "Gem, I don't really need to practice."

Gemma just smirked. "Humor me, honey. I just gave you one of my guns. I want to make sure you don't hurt yourself with it."

Gracie was so tired and so worried about Juice and Chibs, she just did as she was told. She quickly glanced at the target before looking back to Gemma. "Head, neck, belly."

Gemma looked at her in confusion. "What are you…"

But before Gemma could finish her sentence, she watched in surprise as Gracie turned around, raised her Glock, and fired three quick rounds; first in the girl's head, then her neck, and finally her belly."

Gracie lowered the gun and looked back a Gemma, shrugging her shoulders. "I've been shooting since I was ten, Gemma. Can I be done now?"

Gemma couldn't help but smile with pride. _Well, fuck me. Sweet little Gracie could give Happy a run for his money._ "Nice shooting, baby. And yes, you can be done." She watched as Grace clicked the safety on her weapon before shoving it into the back of her jeans.

Grace leaned up against Gemma's car while Tara continued to practice and Gemma reassured them that, despite how bad it seemed right now, things with the club would eventually calm down. But Gracie never said a word; not when Tara finally hit the target or when she trained her gun on the porn star that had been hitting on Jax, not even when Tara and Gemma happily shot up the blonde girl's car. Gracie just silently stared at them in confusion. _How can they be smiling right now? How can they be laughing? They're actually having a good time, when Chibs could have been killed this morning and the guys are probably about to risk their lives to retaliate. How the fuck can they be smiling? _Gracie looked down at her hands, somehow expecting to see them coated with Chibs' blood, even though she had more than scrubbed them clean. She felt herself slowly sliding down the side of the car until she was sitting on the ground, and even though Tara and Gemma were still shooting just a few feet away from her, she didn't hear any gunshots. All she could here was the sound of the explosion and the horrible screams that followed.

* * *

Juice was more than relieved to see Gracie pull into the lot with Gemma and Tara later that afternoon. He wanted to go to her hours ago, but he spent most of his day trying everything he could think of, along with Unser, to stop the Lodi forensics team from gathering evidence about the bombing. Unfortunately, they weren't able to stop them, which meant that it was only a matter of time before the ATF showed up on Samcro's doorstep yet again. For the last hour he had been hacking into Weston's computer, a laptop that Jax and Clay had stolen when the guys raided the fucker's house.

When Gracie saw him outside sitting on the picnic tables, she all but ran into his arms. "God, baby, I've been so worried. Are you alright? I'm so sorry I just left like that, without saying anything to you. I wasn't thinking, I just thought I should go to the hospital and I…"

Juice placed his hands on the sides of her face and shook his head before kissing her softly. "Hey, shhh, it's all good sweetheart. You were amazing this morning, and I'm glad you went with Chibs, that he wasn't alone. Besides, it was a fucking circus after you left. You didn't need to be here for that shit storm."

Gracie took a deep breath and nodded. "Actually, I was thinking about heading back to St. Thomas once I leave here. I know you guys are all busy, but I think someone should be there, you know, in case anything happens."

Juice continued to caress her cheek with one of his hands while using the other to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "You should, definitely. I think he'd want you there. I'm going to be busy here for the rest of the day anyway."

Gracie bit her lip before looking down to the ground. "I know…I know you can't tell me everything. I understand that. Just…" She looked back up into his gorgeous brown eyes and tried to hide the tremble in her voice. "Just please be careful. It was hard enough watching that happen to Chibs, but if anything would ever happen to you…" Gracie quickly swallowed the lump in her throat but was unable to stop a few tears from escaping. "You're my whole life, Juice. You're everything I have, and you have to promise me you'll be safe. Please."

Juice pulled her forward and held her tightly against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and grasped onto the back of his TM work shirt, finally releasing the emotion she'd held back all day and crying into his shoulder.

Juice just ran one hand through her hair, while using the other to gently rub her back. He whispered against her ear as he felt her tears soaking through the front of his shirt. "Hey, hey it's alright, sweetheart. I'm going to be fine. We're going to fix this. Chibs will be fine, and everything's going to be ok." But as the words left his mouth, he remembered what Tara had said to Jax earlier, and he couldn't help but wonder who he was trying to convince more, himself or Gracie.

After a few more minutes, Gracie wiped her face with the back of her hand and shook her head. "God, I'm sorry. I know you have other things to be doing right now. I didn't want to act like this in front of you. I just…"

Juice leaned down and gave her a small, gentle kiss. "Don't ever apologize for needing me, Gracie. I need you every fucking day and you are always there for me, always. Let me be here for you."

They sat together for a few more minutes before they were interrupted when Jax walked over and stood beside them. "Hey, darlin'. Tara's waiting for you. She said she'll give you a ride to the hospital before she goes home. The prospect is going to follow you there, just in case."

Gracie nodded. "Sure, ok. Thanks, Jax." She stood up and gave him a quick hug before turning back to Juice. "I guess I'll see you at home then?"

Juice stood up and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. "Definitely. I'll text you to let you know when I'll be there."

Gracie turned to walk away, but after a few steps she turned around and ran back, throwing her arms around Juice's neck and kissing him with everything she had, losing herself in the comfort of his lips and the familiar taste of his mouth. Only when they were both desperate for air did they slowly separate. Juice pressed his forehead against Grace's, both of their eyes still closed and both of their arms still wrapped tightly around the other. Gracie's voice was breathless and quiet, hardly more than a whisper. "Love you forever, Juan Carlos."

He leaned in for one more taste of her full soft lips, still salty from the remnants of her tears. "Forever, Gracie Jane. Forever."

* * *

It had all happened so fast. It had only taken Juice another 20 minutes with Weston's laptop to break the encryption on all his passwords, and just seconds later he found what he had been looking for…EZ MCC, an appointment for that night listed in Weston's calendar and a possible location for where those assholes could finally be found. Juice quickly told Clay who figured out that Weston must be meeting Zobelle at the Morada Christian Center for an AB membership rally.

They didn't even think about it. They didn't even hesitate. They just loaded the van up with AKs and road up on the center, so sure that they were doing the right thing, so relieved that those fuckers were finally going to pay. Only Jax tried to stop them, tried to make them listen to reason, but they were all too blinded with rage and adrenaline to listen.

And now here he was, sitting in the back of a police van with the rest of his brothers, under arrest, handcuffed, and being driven to San Joaquin Correctional. Jax had been right all along. They had played right into Zobelle's hands.

Juice knew what would happen next. He was already a convicted felon, and this was going to be a federal assault weapons charge…he was looking at 10 to 15 years. He thought about the compass that was zipped up in the inside pocket of his kutte as he cradled his head in his hands, his heart shattering a little more with every mile they drove closer to the prison.

Suddenly, one of his favorite images of Gracie flashed through his mind; the way she looked that morning in front of the bakery, the first time he ever saw her, blushing and shy and so fucking pretty. He knew from the beginning, knew from the very first day he met her, that he would somehow fuck everything up, that he would fail her…that he would lose her. He just didn't expect it to happen like this. _10 to 15 years._ He would never let her wait that long for him. He would never let her waste her life like that.

The compass weighed like an anchor against his chest as he thought about the night she gave it to him. He could still hear her voice in his head, the sweetest sound in the world, begging him to always find his way back to her…

_I'm so sorry, Gracie. I'm so fucking sorry._

**Please review…**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hello again, my lovelies! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited since the last chapter. So, so grateful to each and every one of you!**

**So, because I can't respond individually to the awesome guests that review, I wanted to address some very common questions. It seems like almost every reviewer asks me about three things: when will they get married, when will Gracie get pregnant, and when will she get a crow tattoo. First, let me say that I am so happy, excited, and honored that you are all so invested in this story and enthusiastic about these characters. I love that you are rooting for them as much as I am. But all I can tell you is that I already know exactly what I'm doing for each of those three storylines, and I don't want to give anything away. I promise you'll like it more if you let me surprise you. Just keep in mind that we are only in season 2. I'm certain that this story will end up being well over 200k words by the time it's all said and done, so there is still got a whole lot more story to tell. Just have faith in me. I think you'll like where it goes.**

**This chapter is pretty emotional. Just take a deep breath. We'll all get through it together :) Hope you enjoy it and, as always, please review!**

Chapter 32

Gracie looked up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was just about 8:30 in the evening. She was sitting by Chibs' bedside reading a book, just like she'd been doing for the last three hours. She glanced over at her friend, color finally starting to return to his cheeks, and grinned. He still hadn't regained consciousness, but his vitals were strong and everything was pointing to a full recovery.

She glanced back to her book and was about to start the next chapter when her phone started to ring. She sighed in relief, assuming that it was Juice calling her to let her know that he was home, but when she looked at the caller ID, she saw Gemma's name flash across the screen. "Hey, Gem. What's up?"

"Are you still at the hospital?"

A chill ran up Gracie's spine when she heard the seriousness in Gemma's voice. "Yeah, I'm with Chibs. What's wrong?"

"I'm sending the prospect to pick you up. Be outside in five minutes."

Gracie stood up from her chair, her heart starting to race. "What happened?"

"We'll talk when you get to the clubhouse. Now, get…"

"Gemma! Tell me!" She didn't even realize that she had shouted the words, suddenly in an all out panic.

"They all got arrested, sweetheart.

Gracie leaned back against the arm of the chair for support, her legs too shaky to stand on. "Are they…are they ok, Gem? Is Juice ok?"

She heard Gemma let out a long, slow breath before responding. "Juice is fine, sweetheart. They're all fine, but…this is bad, baby. It's really bad."

* * *

When Gracie saw the TM van pull up in front of the hospital, she ran to the door and climbed in, Kip looking at her from the driver's seat with a sympathetic, worried expression on his face. The short drive back to TM was spent in silence, and once they got there, they each jumped out of the van and walked quickly to the clubhouse.

When Gracie walked inside she saw Gemma and Tara sitting on one of the sofas with a man in a suit that she had never seen before. When she saw Gemma nod her over, she went to sit beside Tara, immediately reaching for her hand and holding it tightly.

Gemma was the first one to speak, her voice full of exhaustion and frustration. "Rosen, this is Grace Anderson. She's Juice's old lady. Gracie, this is Rosen, the club's lawyer."

Rosen gave a small smile to Gracie before looking back to Gemma. "Like I was saying, they set bail at 3 million, with a 300,000 dollar bond. They're all repeat offenders, so they're probably looking at hard time…"

Gemma cursed and ran her hands over her face. "I don't give a fuck about that right now. They got no protection in there. If we don't do something soon, they're not going to make it to trial." They looked to Rosen who only nodded before Gemma continued. "I can put up the house."

Tara looked at Rosen and nodded. "My dad's house, too."

"Um, I have about $80,000 I can give you."

Rosen and Gemma each looked at Gracie in surprise. She just nodded. "It's what's left of my Dad's estate after I paid off my student loans."

Rosen sighed. "That might be enough to get Clay and Jax out, maybe Juice too, but that's it."

Gemma just shook her head and sighed. "No. They'll never leave their brothers. They either all get out or none of them do."

Rosen only stayed a few more minutes, just long enough to give Gemma a note to call someone named Laroy. When Gemma looked at the note she jumped from the couch and went over to Kip who was waiting at the bar. Gracie and Tara watched as she said something to the prospect before they both disappeared out the door without another word.

Gracie looked at Tara, on the verge of complete melt down, with tears blurring her vision. "Where the hell is she going? And who's Laroy? What are we going to do, Knowles? I don't know what to do. I don't..." Gracie could barely get her words out between her sobs. "I don't know what to do."

Tara wrapped her arms around Gracie and held her tight. She tried to think of something to say to her, to reassure her or give her some kind of comfort, but there was nothing…nothing because the same fear and helplessness that was drowning Gracie in that moment was threatening to consume her as well.

* * *

People are wrong when they tell you that your whole life flashes in front of your eyes when you think you're about to die. At least that's not what happened to Juice. He was just walking back from the infirmary, successfully luring Dion to his death without anything fucked up happening in the process. He did something right for a change and helped out his brothers, which always made him feel pretty damn good about himself. He remembers actually smiling as he walked through the yard, up until, out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the AB members circling around him. He only had time to experience a brief moment of dread before feeling the shiv plunging into his back.

The last thing he remembers hearing were his brothers, screaming for the guards, as they circled around to protect him. But from the time the guards arrived and hoisted his body up in the air, there was only silence. He was certain he was going to die. And to his surprise, he didn't see his whole life flash before him, which he was happy about considering most of his life had been really shitty. Instead, he just saw Gracie, sitting by the lake shore in his little clearing in the woods, the one he took her to the day she first rode on his bike, his favorite place in the world. Her hair was brightened by the sunshine, stray auburn locks occasionally blowing in her face due to the breeze, and her perfect green eyes looked even more intense with the blue of the water in the background. She never said a word, never made a sound. She only smiled; peacefully, serenely, and he remembers hoping that she would look that happy for the rest of her life, even when he was gone.

Apparently it isn't your whole life that flashes in front of your eyes when you think you're doing to die…it's just the part of your life that matters the most. And before he finally passed out from the pain and blood loss, Juice smiled. As long as Gracie's face was the last thing he saw, maybe dying wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

There are a few tragic moments in Grace Anderson's life that, no matter how hard she tries to forget, she will always remember in excruciating detail. She remembers that, when her dad told her that her mom had died, her hair was still damp from taking a bath, and she smelled like her mom's strawberry scented shampoo. And the moment that she was told her father had been killed in action, she remembers that her nursing text book, which she had been studying for her final exam, was turned to page 648. She remembers which clothes were laying on the floor of Tara's closet the night she was beaten by Kohn, and remembers the color of the leaf that blew in her hair on the day of Donna Winston's funeral.

And now she remembers everything about the moment she was told that Juice had been stabbed in prison.

She was standing in the clubhouse, trying not to pace the floors. Kip and Piney were drinking at the bar, and apparently Opie was off doing something to help get the club some protection. Gemma and Tara were sitting at a table playing with Abel when Gemma's phone started to ring.

"Rosen? Tell me you have good news."

Gracie started to tremble as she watched the color drain from Gemma's face, but she was certain her heart stopped beating when Gemma looked over in her direction before quickly averting her eyes.

Gemma signed. "Yeah, I'll tell her." She closed the phone and then looked back up to Gracie.

The hesitation she saw on Gemma's face was enough to know. Gracie started shaking her head back and forth, closing her eyes tightly, like if she pretended hard enough, this would all just go away be a bad, distant memory. "No, no. Gemma, no…"

She opened her eyes when she felt Gemma's hand on her face. "Baby…Juice was stabbed, sweetheart."

She felt empty, like her heart had been ripped from her chest and stolen away. Her breaths came in ragged, uneven bursts as sobs immediately racked her whole body. Within seconds she was hyperventilating, her words barely audible. "Is he…is he…?"

Gemma shook her head. "He's alive, Gracie. They transferred him to Stockton Memorial about an hour ago. Rosen said he's in surgery. I don't know anything else."

_He's alive. _Relief crashed over her like a wave as she tried to take some deep breaths, unsuccessfully trying to slow her tears. "I…I have to go. I have to see him."

Kip had been listening to their conversation and walked over from the bar as soon as he saw the pale, stricken look on Grace's face. He reached her just as she started for the door, catching her as her still trembling legs slightly stumbled. "Grace, you won't be able to see him. He's still a prisoner, and they'll treat him like one, even in the hospital. He'll be under guard the whole time. They won't even tell you what room he's in."

Kip's heart ached for the mess of a girl in front of him, normally so strong and happy, now crumbling. Her eyes were so sad, her voice so broken. "But…but he's alone. He's alone right now. Kip, he's all alone…"

Her words were suddenly lost as Gracie's hysterical sobs returned. Kip quickly pulled her forward and held her close, wrapping his arms tightly around her back as she cried into his chest, whispering to her over and over again that Juice was going to be fine and everything would be ok. After a few minutes, he walked with her over to the couch, sitting down beside her and placing his arm around her shoulder. He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, holding her close, while she continued to cry.

* * *

A few hours later, Grace finally calmed down when Rosen called back and told them that Juice was out of surgery and doing fine. His injuries weren't life threatening, and he would probably only need to be in the hospital for about a week. He confirmed to Gracie that Juice was still under guard and she couldn't visit him, but reassured her that at least while he's in the hospital, she knew that he'd be safe.

As soon as she knew that Juice would be alright, the adrenaline started to leave her body and Gracie was suddenly overcome with exhaustion. So Tara, Gracie, Gemma, and Abel all went back to Jax and Tara's house for dinner and some rest. Before they left the parking lot, they saw Piney pull in with Opie's kids in the backseat, and Tara offered to take Kenny and Ellie home with them too so that they could have something to eat and watch TV while Ope took care of whatever he was handling for the club.

As soon as she walked into Tara's house, Gracie curled up into a ball on the sofa and fell asleep. But just about an hour later, she was woken up by the door bell ringing and voices coming from the hallway.

Gracie heard Tara tell Gemma that "porn girl" was there for Kenny and Ellie and heard Gemma say something like "you're kidding me." Gracie got up and started walking to the door in time to see a little blonde say that Opie had asked her to pick up the kids and that she was just trying to help. Gracie cringed when she heard the bitchiness in Tara's voice, saying something about her looking like "an underdeveloped tween."

Gemma was just about to slam the door in the poor girl's face when Gracie walked between the three women, slightly pushing Tara out of the way and sighed.

Gracie looked at Gemma and Tara and rolled her eyes. "What the hell is the matter with you two?"

Tara started to say something about not giving Opie's kids to a slut while at the same time Gemma made some snide, bitchy comment under her breath, but Gracie didn't want to hear it. To put it mildly, she'd had a really bad fucking day and she had already dealt with just about all the shit she could handle. There was nothing Gracie hated more than listening to people be mean and cruel to someone else for no reason at all, and she was furious.

She quickly interrupted them before they could say another word. "Ok, that's enough! Both of you! I love you two, but seriously. Jesus Christ Gemma. Wasn't your whole problem with Tara that she thought she was better than everybody else? Well, aren't you the pot calling the kettle black right now? And for godsakes, your best friend is Luann Delaney. So if you're not going to judge one, then you better not try and judge the other." Then Grace turned her tired, pissed off eyes to Tara. "And you Knowles? Why don't you go calm down and try to make the bitch that has temporarily taken over your brain go back to wherever she came from, ok? You have no right to talk to this girl like that. Besides, if anyone is going to be speaking for Kenny and Ellie here tonight, it's going to be me, the person who actually spends time with them. So why don't you two go back to the kitchen for a while until you remember that unless you have something nice to say, you don't say anything at all."

Tara's jaw hit the floor. Gracie had never talked that way to her before, ever. A little shame started to creep through her when Tara thought about how she had just behaved and she had to admit that she probably deserved every single word that Gracie said. She looked at the blonde and then back to Gracie before grabbing a still speechless Gemma and pulling her back towards the kitchen.

Gracie ran her hands threw her hair and took a slow deep breath, trying her best to calm her nerves. She couldn't ever remember raising her voice to Tara like that, and she knew she never had to Gemma. But apparently that's what happens when you piss her off on one of the worst days of her life.

Gracie looked at the woman on the porch and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm really sorry. They're not usually like that. It's been…it's been a really bad day. But in no way is that your problem. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

The blond reached her hand out and offered Gracie a small, grateful smile. "I'm Lyla. I was just doing a favor for Opie. He wanted me to get the kids. I have a son the same age as Kenny. I was just trying to help."

Gracie returned her smile. "Well, I'm Grace. I'm with Juice Ortiz."

Lyla nodded. "Oh, yeah? The computer guy with the mohawk?"

Gracie's smile widened slightly. "Yeah, that's him. Anyway, I'm sorry about before. And listen, I appreciate the help, really, but Opie never called and told us that someone else was getting the kids. With everything going on with the club right now, it just doesn't feel right to let them go with someone we don't know."

Lyla just shrugged her shoulders. "I get it. No problem. Just tell Opie I stopped by. And thanks, you know, for defending me earlier. That meant a lot."

Gracie just shook her head. "It was nothing. They're my family, but they were out of line. It was nice to meet you Lyla."

Lyla waved as she stepped off the porch. "You too, Grace. Bye."

The next hour was spent in silence; Tara put Abel to bed, Gemma smoked and drank coffee in the kitchen, and Gracie sat on the couch between Kenny and Ellie, pretending to watch TV but doing nothing but worry about Juice.

Opie came over a little while later to get the kids, and made sure to yell at Tara for what she said to Lyla, before thanking Gracie for the kindness she showed. As soon as he was gone, the women decided to head back over to TM to wait on more word about the guys.

They had only been at the garage a few minutes when they saw Elliot Oswald pull into the lot. Gracie didn't catch everything that was said, but she almost cried in relief when she heard him tell Gemma that he had posted the club's bail.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Gracie turned and raced towards her Mustang, which had sat unmoved in the parking lot since the explosion the morning before. As she drove away from TM, she passed a black van which she was sure was full of the rest of the Sons, but she never once slowed down. She loved Jax and all the other guys, and was so relieved that they were home. But they didn't matter now. Nothing did. Nothing except driving as fast as she could to Stockton Memorial Hospital.

* * *

Juice slowly opened his blurry eyes and smiled when he saw that his left hand, which had been shackled to the bedrail before he fell asleep, was now being held by Gracie. He had no idea when she got there, but her presence along with the absence of the cop in the room must mean that they had finally gotten out on bail. Gracie was asleep, her legs tucked up in the small chair she was sitting in while her head leaned against his leg like a pillow. He took a moment to watch her as she slept and rememorize every inch of her face._ So fucking beautiful._ It hadn't even been 48 hours since he'd seen her, but so much had happened, it felt like forever.

He gently squeezed her hand. "Gracie? Sweetheart?"

Gracie immediately raised her head, her eyes quickly traveling over him making sure that he was still ok, before she let out a long, relieved breath and smiled. "Hey, you. You're awake."

She stood from the chair and leaned forward, her lips barely brushing his as though she was afraid of hurting him. She went to pull back, but before she could, Juice tangled a hand in her hair and brought her forward once more, kissing her deeply. When he finally pulled away, he started to smile, but stopped when he saw the tears flowing down her cheeks. "Sweetheart, what is it?"

She shook her head as she sat on the edge of the bed, never letting go of the hand she'd been holding. "It's just…God, I was so worried. I've never been so scared in my life." She looked back up at him, and the intensity in her eyes almost took his breath away. "I love you. I love you so much, Juice."

He reached out and touched the side of her face, caressing her tear stained cheek with his thumb. "I love you too, Gracie Jane, more than anything, I swear." He lowered his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing. "And I'm so sorry I worried you, but you need to start preparing yourself…"

"What are you talking about?"

Gracie could feel the hand cradling her face start to tremble. "Sweetheart, I love you. You know I do. But we have serious charges pending. And this isn't my first felony. You need to understand. It won't be short time. It'll be years, Gracie Jane. And I'm not going to let you put your life on hold. I'm not going to let you wait for…"

"No! Stop it, Juice! You stop right now!" Juice watched stunned as Gracie practically jumped off the bed and stared at him with nothing short of rage in her eyes. "Are you telling me that I should prepare myself for you to go inside, or prepare myself for you walking away from me again?"

Gracie could tell by Juice's silence what his answer was, and she was livid. "Do you have any idea what I've been through the last 48 hours? I watched one of my best friends get blown up right in front of me! Then the love of my life and the center of my entire fucking existence gets arrested and stabbed! I had no idea how you were and I couldn't get to you and I was worried out of my mind. I have been in agony, Juice! But none of it matters, none of it, because I would go through it all again, a thousand times over, as long as it meant that I got to be with you. So don't you dare tell me that you're not going to let me wait for you while you're in prison, because you don't get a fucking choice. Nothing you do, nothing you say, will _ever_ make me stop loving you. You can ignore my calls, and never write to me, and refuse to ever let me visit. But understand this. It won't matter if you're locked up for 10 years or 10 hours. I will _always_ be in love with you and I will _always_ wait for you…whether you like it or not."

Gracie took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes, swollen and red from crying. She looked back down at Juice and knew exactly what he was thinking. Despite how much she told him, how she tried to show him in everything she did, there was still a deep, dark part of Juice that would always think he was unworthy, that would never understand why she loved him so much. She had no doubt that he would wait a hundred years for her, but for some reason he couldn't wrap his head around Gracie being willing to do the same.

Juice held his breath, overcome and overwhelmed with her love for him, and watched mesmerized as she came back to the bed and sat down beside him. All the anger was gone from her eyes, replaced with her familiar warmth and sweetness. She placed her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him gently before pulling back and shaking her head. "I'm going to be with you forever, Juan Carlos. What's 10 years compared to the rest of my life?"

A long moment passed before he nodded, leaning forward so that his forehead was pressed against Gracie's. They were so close that she could feel Juice's tears on her own cheeks when they started to fall, and she closed her eyes and sighed in relief when she heard him softly whisper.

"Always, Gracie Jane."

In spite of her tears, Gracie was finally smiling. "Always, Juice. Always."

**Please review…**


	33. Chapter 33

**Can't even begin to thank everyone for the response to the last chapter. You all put this story above 300 reviews, and I am honestly blown away by your support. You're all lovely and sweet and I like you very much :)**

**So, here's another one! I admit, it's not very action packed, but I couldn't think of a way around writing it. There isn't much Juice in this update, but if you love Chibs (and you should) you'll probably like this chapter. Hope you enjoy it…**

**P.S., the first section is dedicated to one of the wonderful guest reviewers who requested a scene showing how Gracie would react to the club using Juice as bait while in prison. Here you go!**

Chapter 33

Gracie was so tired she could barely see straight. She had stayed with Juice for a few more hours, not only talking about what had happened while he was in prison, but what could possibly be done about Zobelle and the charges now that they were all out on bail. Around 10pm, the night shift nurse finally told her that visiting hours were over. She kissed Juice deeply before she left, promising to be back first thing the next morning.

She sent a quick text to Gemma telling her that Juice was out of surgery and doing fine before climbing into her car and driving back to her apartment. Once she parked her car outside of the weed shop, she pulled herself up the small flight of stairs and opened her door, quickly locking it again before toeing off her sneakers and walking towards the bedroom. She knew she probably needed a shower, but at this point she doubted that she would even take off her clothes. _God, I'm exhausted._

Grace was just about to crawl into bed when she heard a quiet knock at the door. She picked up the 9mm that Gemma had given her before walking back through her living room and into the kitchen. She crept quietly to the door and looked through the peephole, sighing in relief when she saw who was standing outside.

"Jax, I'm so happy you're…" Gracie was just about to throw her arms around his neck when she stopped and gasped. From the black eye, bruised cheeks, and cut lip, Jax's face looked like a punching bag. She reached out with her fingers and tentatively touched his swollen face. "Jesus Christ, Jax. Are you alright? What happened?"

Jax just shook his head. "Just some beef between me and Clay. It was going to happen sooner or later. At least neither one of us is dead." He sighed when he saw the worried, troubled expression on her face and reached up to hold the hand pressed against his cheek. "I'm fine, darlin'. Don't worry about me. Besides, the old man looks way worse."

Gracie couldn't help but grin at the small, cocky smirk on Jax's face. "Well, that's something anyway." She wrapped the sides of her hoodie around her body as a breeze sent a chill through the night air. "I'm happy to see you, and I'm so glad you're alright, but what are you doing here?"

"By the time I left TM, I couldn't make it to Stockton before visiting hours were over. I just wanted to see how Juicey's doing."

"Oh." Gracie nodded, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "He's good. He had surgery to repair some minor damage, but nothing critical. As long as there are no complications, he should be out in about four or five days."

Jax nodded. "That's great, babe. I'll go check on him sometime tomorrow after I see Chibs in the morning." He paused to light a cigarette before continuing. "Well, it was good to see you, Gracie. Tara's waiting for me at home, so I guess I should probably get going…"

"Jax, before you go I want to ask you something." Gracie crossed her arms over her chest, looking down briefly at the ground before raising her eyes to meet Jax's gaze. "I'm…I'm not sure how much you can tell me, or if I should even be asking…I mean, when I asked Juice what happened, he just said he was doing something to protect the club, but he wouldn't say anything and he wouldn't answer my questions and…" Gracie took a deep breath to calm her nerves before finding her resolve. "Why was he alone, Jax?"

"What do you mean" Jax's voice sounded confused, but Gracie couldn't help but think he knew exactly what she was asking.

"In the yard when he was stabbed. Why was he alone? Why was he separated from the rest of you? Gemma told me that you all always stay together, that that's how you protect each other, how you keep each other safe. Why was he alone?"

Jax ran his hands over his tired face and sighed. "I can't tell you any specifics, Gracie." He waited for her to nod before continuing. "Juice was doing something to get us protection. There was a guy that we needed access to and the only way we could get to him was through Juice. The guy…the guy liked how he looked. He was just bait. Anyway, on his way back…"

Gracie clenched her fists at her side and took a few deep breaths as she felt the anger building up inside. "I'm sorry, but did you just refer to Juice as _bait_?"

When Jax saw the fury behind Gracie's eyes, he was almost startled. _Oh shit, she's fucking pissed._ Jax raised his hands up in defense, his voice pleading."Gracie, nothing was ever going to happen to him. It was to protect us. Any one of us would have done the same thing, but it had to be him. I mean, he was ok with it. He was totally safe…"

Gracie narrowed her eyes and spoke through gritted teeth. "Of course he was ok with it. He would do anything for you guys. He would step in front of a fucking bullet if it meant protecting one of his brothers and you all knew that." Gracie kept trying to calm down, but her breath was coming out in short, rapid bursts and her hands were uncontrollably trembling." And he wasn't safe, Jax. He wasn't fucking safe. He was fucking stabbed."

The logical side of Gracie knew that Jax hadn't done anything wrong; that he did everything he could to protect his club, and that he would have gladly taken Juice's place if he could. The logical side of her also knew that Juice would whole heartedly do the same thing all over again if it meant keeping his brothers safe. But unfortunately for Jax, Gracie's logical side disappeared several hours ago and all that was left was an exhausted, emotional, illogical mess that had just come dangerously close to losing the man she loved.

Jax felt lost. He hated seeing the pissed off, angry way Gracie was looking at him, when he was used to seeing her so sweet and loving. Unsure of what to say to make it better, he tried to lighten the mood. "Darlin', really, he was fine. I mean, before he got jumped it was actually kinda funny…"

_Oh fuck, wrong thing to say._ Jax was pretty sure that if looks could kill, he'd be a dead man. At that moment, the look on Gracie's face could've made Happy piss in his pants.

He opened his lips to speak, but Gracie shook her head, silencing him instantly. She took one more deep breath before closing her eyes, not even able to stand the sight of him.

When she spoke her voice was angry and sad, but more than anything, it was just so tired. "Jax, you know I love you, right?"

She opened her eyes to see him wordlessly nod. "I am emotionally spent and completely exhausted. After the last few days, I literally have nothing left. So please, try not to take it personally when I tell you that if I hear one more god damn word come out of your mouth tonight, you're going to get your ass kicked for the second time in one day."

A moment passed before Jax leaned forward and kissed Gracie on the cheek, the smallest of smiles on his face. He watched Gracie turn and walk back into her place, closing the door behind her, before making his way down the stairs and over to his Dyna. And as he sat down and started her up, he couldn't help but smile. Gracie was an angel and the sweetest woman he'd ever met, but she could be downright fierce when it came to protecting her man. Honestly, he was proud of her for threatening to lay his ass out. _Fuck, she's one hell of an old lady._

* * *

Gracie was sitting on one of the small chairs in Chibs' hospital room. She had spent every minute of the two previous days with Juice in Stockton, but today she had to go back to work. So here she sat on her lunch break, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and reading a magazine.

When she finished, Grace brushed the crumbs off her burgundy colored scrubs before looking up to a sleeping Chibs and smiling. She had been told that he had woken up the day before and was making excellent progress, although she hadn't yet had a chance to talk to him. When she had gotten to his room about 20 minutes earlier, he was sleeping and she hadn't wanted to wake him.

Gracie looked down at her phone to type out a quick text to Juice, asking how he was feeling. She had already asked him the exact same thing about two hours ago when she spoke to him on the phone, but she hated not being there and couldn't stop herself from worrying, even though the logical side of her knew that he was going to be just fine.

She had just hit send when she heard the wonderful sound of a Scottish accent. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes, love."

Gracie looked up quickly and grinned. Chibs was gazing at her, his eyes playful with a small smile on his face. She shot up out of her chair and went to his bedside, grabbing his hand before leaning down and kissing him on the cheek. "You scared the hell out of me, you know that, Scotsman?"

Chibs nodded. "Sorry, girly. I promise. No more car bombs." He continued to gaze at Gracie for a few more seconds, struggling to find the right words. "I, uh, heard that you saved my life, Grace."

Gracie just looked at him, confused. "I didn't do anything."

Chibs shook his head. "Gemma was here earlier. Said that you kept me from bleeding out until the medics got to me. Said you rode with me in the ambulance, that you sat by my bedside for hours, refused to leave until you knew I was alright. I consider that saving me, love."

Gracie squeezed the hand that she was holding a little tighter and sighed. "You know, Tara's the only real friend I've ever had. Before her, I moved around too much to get to know anyone. And I guess a part of me was always afraid of letting people get too close, because it seemed like the minute I did, I lost them. But since I moved to Charming, it's like I have a whole new family. I love Gemma and Jax and Kip so much, and Piney, Bobby, Lowell; they're all so great. But you…" Gracie blinked the tears out of her eyes as she looked at him and smiled. "You're special. After Juice and Tara, you're the person I love most in the world." She took the hand she'd been holding and placed it against her heart. "You're in here now. So you can say that I saved you, but really, I just saved myself. I wasn't quite ready to lose you."

Chibs pulled her hand forward and kissed the back, his eyes shining. It had been so long, so very long, since he had felt such a pure devotion from someone else. Gracie's love had no conditions, no agendas, no cause and no purpose. It was given freely and openly, and it astounded him. The only people who had ever cared for him like that were his mother and his precious Kerianne.

Gracie watched as Chibs' face turned more serious and intense than she had ever seen, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet but full of conviction. "You listen to me now, Grace, because I mean this from deep down in my bones. I love you. I'll always love you. You're my family, sweet girl. Don't you ever forget that."

Gracie had no words. She just smiled and nodded as she leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. But just then, their sweet moment was interrupted when the door opened. Gracie looked over and saw a woman she'd never seen before, with lovely dark skin and riotous curly black hair, standing in the doorway.

The woman scowled. "Gettin' friendly with the nurses now, are we Filip?"

Gracie turned back towards Chibs and saw a stunned expression on his face. "What the hell are you doing here?"

The woman walked into the room and over to Chibs' bedside. "Heard what happened. I was worried about you."

Gracie heard her Irish accent and saw the way that they were looking at each other, like they had years and years of history between them. Suddenly, it dawned on her who this woman was and she couldn't stop herself from saying, "Oh my god, you're Fiona."

Fiona looked at her, surprised, and then back to Chibs. "Didn't realize you talked to your whores about your wife, love."

Chibs eyes narrowed. "Gracie is my brother's old lady and a dear friend. Don't you ever talk about her like that."

An awkward silence filled the room for a few moments before Gracie stood from the bed. "Well…um, I should get back to work and let you to…uh, catch up, I guess." She looked back down at Chibs and waited until he silently nodded before walking towards the door. "I'll talk to you soon."

Chibs gave her an apologetic look and sighed. "Aye, sweet girl. See you soon."

Gracie then looked up at Fiona and gave her a small smile before quickly walking out of the room.

* * *

As Gracie started down the hallway to the elevators, she saw Tara and Gemma walking towards her. When Gemma reached her, she leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "How is he, baby?"

Gracie glanced back at the room and then back to Gemma. "Fiona's in there."

Gracie couldn't help but notice the color drain from Gemma's face while Tara looked at both of them totally confused. "But, he's not supposed to have any visitors except family."

Gemma placed her hands on her hips as she looked at Tara and sighed. "She is family. That Irish bitch is his wife."

Tara's brow furrowed in confusion. "What? Chibs is married?"

Gemma opened her mouth to speak, but Gracie spoke up first. "They've been separated for about 12 years. She lives in Belfast with their daughter. It's…it's complicated."

Gemma's eyes widened slightly in surprise. She knew that Grace and Chibs were close, but she had no idea that he would talk to her about his family.

Gemma nodded to Gracie and then looked at Tara. "Listen, if Fiona's in there stay out, both of you. She's nothing but bad news and you two don't need to be around her."

Gracie looked up at Gem. "What do you mean she's bad news?"

Gemma raised one eyebrow and smirked. "Well, I'm scared of her if that tells you something."

Gracie crossed her arms over her chest as a chill ran up her spine. Gemma Teller-Morrow wasn't afraid of anything.

Tara looked towards Chibs room and sighed. "Well, I'm going to have to go in there soon. I need to talk to him. Apparently his insuring has lapsed, so as soon as he's taken off the critical list, he's being transferred to Stockton."

Gemma shook her head. "No, no that can't happen. He'll have no protection there. He has to stay in Charming."

Gracie tensed at the fear in Gemma's voice. "But Juice is in Stockton. Are you telling me he's in danger?"

"No, baby. Juice will be fine. Since he was admitted as a prisoner, security will be keeping a close eye on him. Besides, it was Chibs that they almost killed, so he's the one with a target on his back. Zobelle didn't want anyone walking away from that bomb, and it's very possible that they'll want to prove that they can finish the job." She looked back at Tara. "You need to fix this, Doctor Knowles."

Gracie looked up at Tara to see her shaking her head, a sad look in her eyes. "Gemma, I can't. Margaret Murphy is watching everything I do. I can't risk doing something against policy. I could lose my job, maybe even my license. I'm sorry, Gemma. I am. But my hands are tied."

Gemma stared at Tara for a moment before nodding. "Alright. I understand. We'll figure something out."

Tara offered an apologetic smile to the two of them before turning away and walking back towards the NICU. Gracie looked at Gemma and sighed. "I have to get back to work too, Gem." Gracie leaned to hug her and when she did, she whispered against her ear. "And don't worry. I won't let anything happen to Chibs. I'll take care of it."

When Gracie pulled away she saw Gemma smile. "Thanks, sweetheart. I knew I could count on you."

* * *

Jax pulled up in front of his Mom's house later that night and grinned when he saw Gracie's Mustang pull in to the driveway at almost the exact same time. The morning after he went to her apartment, Gracie had called him to apologize for what she had said to him, but he hadn't actually had a chance to see her. He watched as she climbed out of the car and couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked wearing a tight black tank top, long gray cardigan, black skinny jeans, and her usual black sneakers. Her hair was tied back in a bun and it didn't look like she had any makeup on, but Gracie was one of those women that never really needed it anyway.

Jax almost laughed when he saw how hesitantly she approached him, her cheeks completely red with embarrassment.

She stopped a few feet away from him and looked at the ground. "Jax, I am so sorry, I can't even…I am so ashamed of myself. I was just so stressed out the other night, and I put all that on you, and I had no right…"

"Hey, hey, it's all right, Gracie." Jax reached out for her and pulled her into a tight hug. "You were scared and pissed and needed someone to blame. I just happened to be the one that knocked on the door."

"I know you always try and keep everyone safe, I know that. I didn't mean anything I said, really, I…"

Jax's voice was gentle but firm. "Hey, that's enough, darlin'. Seriously, we're good. I love you."

Gracie looked up at him and offered a grateful smile. "I love you too, Jax. Thanks for being so understanding of my crazy."

Jax just laughed. "Darlin', my mother is Gemma Teller and my old lady is Tara Knowles…believe me, your crazy is nothing compared to the shit I usually deal with."

Gracie finally smiled as Jax threw his arm around her shoulder and walked with her towards the house. Gemma had called everyone that afternoon and invited them all to a family dinner. The divide in the club was obvious, tension continuously growing, and Gemma was hoping that a dinner would be just what everyone needed to get over their shit and reunite.

Gracie had asked her manager if she could leave a couple of hours early since the ER was slow, so that she would have time to drive to Stockton and see Juice for just a little while before speeding back to Charming and taking a quick shower, just making it to Gemma's in time.

Jax and Gracie saw Opie outside smoking a cigarette and stopped to talk to him for a few minutes when suddenly the front door swung open and Lyla stormed outside with tears in her eyes.

She stomped towards them until she was standing right in front of Opie. "I'm leaving. That doctor's an arrogant bitch." She looked over to Jax and Gracie and sighed. "Sorry."

Jax just rolled his eyes. "Christ." Without another word, he turned and walked into the house.

Gracie looked over to Lyla and offered a small smile. "I don't even know what Tara said, but I'm pretty sure if it was anything like the other night, I need to apologize for her…again. I promise, whatever has recently crawled up her ass and died has nothing to do with you. Tara's my best friend and I love her more than words, but she's just been off lately. Please don't leave. It's really nice to see you again, and I would love to get to know you more. I talked to Ellie and Kenny yesterday on the phone, and they both really like you. Please stay."

Lyla sighed, glancing up at Opie before looking back at Gracie. "Thanks, Grace. I guess…I guess I'll stay."

When they all turned to walk to the house, Opie looked over Lyla to Gracie and silently mouthed a thank you. Gracie just nodded before making her way to what was certain to be a very interesting dinner.

* * *

Gracie looked at the chaos around her and couldn't think of any better way to describe it than a complete shit show. Apparently Tara had been served a hostile work environment claim because of something Gemma said to Margaret Murphy, so she was fuming, not speaking to Gem, and unfortunately putting Jax in the middle of the two of them. Lyla was obviously uncomfortable, which pissed off Opie, and Gracie, although trying to hide it, was miserable without Juice and wanted nothing more than to leave and drive back to Stockton.

But when Clay walked in with Tig and a few of the others, that's when all hell broke loose. Apparently something had gone wrong that day, with Tig yelling that they almost got killed trying to take their guns back, and Bobby was yelling back, telling him that it was club business and not to talk about it.

Everyone was shouting and at each other's throats until David Hale seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Then the room went quiet as he delivered the tragic news; Luann Delaney had been killed, found beaten to death off County Road 18.

A stunned silence fell over the room, but after a minute, the shouting once again intensified. Gracie looked on in horror as Clay blamed Jax for Luann's death and Jax yelled something back about not being the one who murders women. But the fight was quickly ended when Gemma suddenly threw a huge platter of food down, shattering it all over the dining room table. Gracie immediately rose from her chair and went to Gem, wrapping her arms around her and holding her tightly. It seemed like everyone was too busy placing blame to notice that Gemma had just lost her oldest and dearest friend.

The rest of the night was a blur. Tara and Jax left almost immediately, closely followed by Opie, Lyla, and the kids. All the other guys, including Clay, stormed off for the clubhouse, while a still distraught Gemma took a shower and smoked a joint before collapsing into bed.

Gracie helped a couple of the croweaters wash the dishes and clean up the mess on the table before she finally headed home. When she got to the apartment, the first thing she did was call Juice and tell him about everything that had happened. He was really upset, not only because he always liked Luann, but because of Otto. It was no secret that Luann was Big Otto's entire world, and he couldn't imagine how devastated he was going to be when he heard the news.

After she told Juice goodnight, Gracie stripped out of her clothes and fell into bed. But despite being exhausted from her shift at work and the terrible events at dinner, Gracie couldn't fall asleep. She just kept reliving the tragedy of the last few weeks in her mind. _Gemma was raped, Chibs was almost blown up, Juice was stabbed, the guys were arrested, Luann was murdered. _But those memories weren't what scared her the most. What terrified her to her core, what kept her from sleeping, was the fear of the coming unknown…_What the fuck is going to happen next?_

* * *

Early the next morning, Gracie arrived at the clubhouse with dozens of donuts. She really wasn't sure what her role was now, but she knew that Gemma always brought the guys breakfast after a tragedy. And since Gemma was in no state to take care of anyone but herself, Gracie thought she could temporarily fill the void.

She had just set out all the food and made a fresh pot of coffee when the clubhouse door opened and Jax walked in, and Gracie's heart broke for him when he gave her a small, sad smile; the same one he'd worn practically every day since Donna Winston died.

Gracie walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Jax. I know you loved Luann."

Just for a moment, Gracie felt Jax fall into her, burying his head on her shoulder as a small shudder ran through his body. But it was gone just as quickly, replaced with the quiet strength that the vice president always tried to maintain in front of others. He pulled back slightly and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Thanks, Gracie. What are you doing here so early?"

Gracie walked back over to the bar and poured him a cup of coffee with cream and a ridiculous amount of sugar, just how he liked it. "I just thought I'd bring you guys something to eat. Your mom is really hurting right now, so I didn't think she'd be up to it. Actually, after I leave here I'm going to go check on her. See if she needs help planning the funeral."

Jax sat down on one of the stools and motioned for Gracie to sit down beside him. He ran his hand through his long blond hair and sighed, his voice strangled with grief. "I, uh…I have to go to the prison…tell Otto about Luann."

Gracie's hand rose to cover her mouth as a small gasp escaped her lips. "Oh god, Jax. How awful. I assumed that Clay would be the one to tell him."

Jax shook his head. "No. I mean, don't get me wrong, Otto loves Clay, but he and I were always really close. My dad actually sponsored Otto, patched him in. John was even best man at him and Luann's wedding. Otto's like an uncle to me…it has to be me that tells him. I just…I just don't know how." Jax rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands, blinking away the moisture, before continuing. "You know Gracie, I'll never forget the look on Opie's face when he found out about Donna, but even at his worst, he had something to live for. He had his kids. He had Piney. He had his freedom." Jax took a big, shaky breath and blew it out, running his hands down his face. "What the fuck does Otto have to live for now?"

Gracie had no words of comfort, nothing to make it better. Nothing could. So she just sat silently by her friend, holding one of his hands while he used his other to drink his coffee. When he finished, he looked at Gracie warmly and wordlessly nodded his thanks, kissed her cheek, and stood before quietly walking outside.

* * *

Gracie left the clubhouse a few minutes after Jax and drove straight over to Gemma's. Gracie made them both coffee and eggs while a grief stricken Gemma sat at her kitchen table and told her old stories about Luann. She stayed long enough to make some phone calls to the funeral home and made sure Gemma was ok, before getting back in her car and driving to Stockton Memorial. She spent most of the day in Juice's hospital room playing poker, reading comic books, watching cartoons, and sneaking him candy from the vending machines. She finally left in the late afternoon and went straight to St. Thomas to check on her Scotsman.

Gracie got to Chibs' room just in time to hear him begging to be given more time, desperate to not be transferred. Then she heard Tara's voice pleading with him, trying to explain that it was hospital policy and out of her hands. Gracie opened the door and walked in right as a near frantic Chibs roared out, "But I'll be unprotected!"

Tara turned around when the door opened, and Gracie saw that her face was nearly white. "Knowles?" Gracie gently called out to her, but Tara just shook her head and walked quickly out of the room, muttering "sorry" as she passed Gracie and practically ran down the hallway.

When Gracie walked over to his bedside, Chibs was still trembling, his face beet red, his voice shaking. "You have to talk to her, Grace. You have to make her understand. They'll kill me, love. Do you hear me? They'll kill me…"

"Shhh." Gracie sat down on the bed and placed a hand on his cheek, leaning over so that her lips were right against his ear. "Chibs, it's alright. Just calm down and listen to everything I say. Please, just do exactly what I tell you to do and everything will be fine."

About fifteen minutes later, Tara was on her way back to Chibs' room. She felt awful for running out like that, not even talking to Gracie Jane. She wanted to try and explain to Chibs again why he was being transferred and make him understand that there was nothing she could do about it. But as she got to his hallway, she saw Gracie standing quietly outside of his room while a team of neurosurgery nurses ran back and forth with supplies. When they saw here approaching, one of the nurses sighed in relief. "Thank god, Dr. Knowles! Can you come in and look at this patient? I think there's something wrong."

Tara walked in to see Chibs moaning loudly, nearly convulsing in his bed. She went to him quickly. "Jesus, what happened?"

The nurse placed a new monitor on his chest and shook her head. "I don't know. He seemed fine this morning, but a few minutes ago he started complaining of severe head pain and stated that he can no longer see out of his right eye. I already notified the resident on call who ordered a STAT MRI and placed him back on the critical list."

Tara nodded before reaching in her pocket for her penlight and shining it in to Chibs' pupils. When the nurses had left the room and Tara leaned forward to look at his eyes, Chibs suddenly stopped moaning, a small grin on his face. He quietly whispered, "Thank my girl for me, Doc." before once again starting to moan, feigning pain.

Tara stood back up, shocked. She looked around nervously, making sure that no one had heard him, before quickly walking out of the room. When she saw Gracie, still standing there with a blank expression on her face, she walked right up to her, shaking her head. "Jesus Christ, Gracie Jane. What the hell did you do?"

Gracie didn't say anything. She just turned and walked towards the elevators, unaware that from the other side of the hallway, Margaret Murphy's eyes followed her the entire time.

**Please review!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hi Everyone! Thanks again for all the feedback on the last chapter, and thank you to all the new people who have recently followed or favorited. So glad you're all still reading! We're almost done with Season 2…**

**So, a guest reviewer commented on the last chapter that they were concerned that I was writing Tara out of character because she wasn't helping the club enough. First, thank you, whoever you are, for reviewing. There is absolutely no offense taken and I am so glad that you are enjoying the story so far. I always like to know what people think about how I'm portraying their favorite characters. But since I couldn't respond personally to you, and since I get a lot of comments about Tara in** **general, I thought I** **would take a** **minute and give everyone my personal view of Dr. Tara Knowles…**

**I am not a Tara hater. I think she was strong, passionate, and brave. But I always pitied her because I think she was, without a doubt, the loneliest person on the show. The woman had no one. No family. No friends. No one she could trust enough to talk to about her problems and help her through them. That being said, the girl made some **_**horrible**_** mistakes, the biggest of which was staying in Charming in the first place. In the first four seasons of the show, Jax gave Tara a lot of opportunities to leave him, whether it be moving back to Chicago in Season 1 or moving to Oregon in Season 4. And I think he did that because, in spite of how much he loved her, he knew in his heart that she wasn't cut out to be an old lady, and that their relationship would eventually ruin the person that she had worked so hard to become, which became evident in Season 6 when her terrible decisions caused her to lose everything.**

**Part of the reason why I wrote Gracie is because I wanted Tara to have a friend, someone separate from the club who knew her inside and out and would support her and love her without an agenda. My Tara will still fuck up, just like she did on the show, but now she'll have a best friend looking out for her, hopefully helping her through all the shit. As far as Tara being OOC in the last chapter, everything she did, except not being the one to coach Chibs, was canon. She really did refuse to help him initially, and she really was a bitch to Lyla when they first met. There will be times when Tara still helps the club, but it will be less than on the show, partly because I have to fit Gracie into the storyline when I can, but also because I think Tara helped the club mostly because it was something she felt she had to do, but I don't think she was ever too happy about it. Gracie wants to help, not out of a sense of duty or because she feels like she has to, but because she has personal relationships with most of the guys and she loves them. Tara usually had to be asked to help. Gracie will always just volunteer.**

**So anyway, that's my take on Tara, for what it's worth. It's just my humble opinion, nothing more. I like her, and I have no intention of vilifying her. She and Gracie will disagree about things in the future, but they will never be pitted against each other. They're family, and they love each other. I understand the people who adore her, I understand the people who hate her. I'm somewhere comfortably in the middle. **

**OK, enough of that :) Here we go…**

Chapter 34

Tara and Gracie stood together, smiling, as Chibs roared down the hospital hallway in his wheelchair, hopping out like a madman, and hugging his brothers. Tara looked over to Gracie and threw her arm around her best friend's shoulder. "You did this, Gracie Jane. You kept him safe." Tara sighed. "I should have done more. I shouldn't have let you take all the risk…"

Gracie just shook her head. "Doc, it's ok. I understand why you didn't. You already have the hostile work environment claim. One more infraction could have cost you your job, and Murphy's been watching ever step you take. But me?" Gracie grinned. "I'm just a lowly nurse. I'm under everybody's radar."

Tara nodded. "So when is Juice getting released?"

Gracie smile widened at the mention of his name. "Tomorrow, hopefully. He should have been released a few days ago, but he still has some blood in his stool."

Tara rolled her eyes, her face totally disgusted. "Lovely, Gracie. Just for future reference, I don't ever need to hear about your boyfriend's stool."

Gracie just laughed. "You're a surgeon, Knowles. Nothing is supposed to gross you out. Now come on, let's get these lunatics out of here before they call security."

* * *

About an hour later, Gracie was standing in her freshly cleaned kitchen putting away her groceries. She knew how much Juice hated being in the hospital, and she wanted the apartment perfect for when he came home tomorrow. She was just about finished with everything when her phone started ringing and she saw Tara's name flash across the screen.

"Hey Knowles. What's up?"

"Gracie, can you come over? I wanted to talk to you about some things."

"Sure. Is everything alright?"

"Honestly? I have no idea."

Gracie was walking outside and to her car before she even hung up the phone. "On my way, Doc."

10 minutes later Gracie was sitting at Tara's kitchen table with a drooling, adorable Abel in her lap. She loved every minute that she got to spend with the little boy, whose blue eyes and already blond hair were sure signs that he was going to be the spitting image of his daddy. "Well, hello there little man. Yes, I know. You love it when Aunt Gracie comes over." Grace laughed as Abel grabbed a hand full of her hair and pulled as hard as he could. "And you're so strong too. Yes you are. What a big, strong handsome guy…"

Tara sat across the table and smiled at Gracie, making silly faces and talking in her baby voice. She was a natural with kids, and Abel adored her. But when he started getting fussy, Tara quickly took him from Grace's arms and gave him the bottle that she had been warming.

Gracie watched Tara feeding the baby and grinned. "That's a good look on you, Knowles."

Tara nodded as she looked down at the little boy she loved so much. "I'm his mother, Gracie Jane. In every way that matters, I'm his mom. I couldn't love him more."

A few peaceful moments went by before Gracie spoke. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Tara sighed. "Remember Agent Stahl?"

Gracie cringed as she thought of the hateful federal agent she had met all those months ago. "God, how could I forget? What a bitch."

Tara nodded. "Well, that bitch was sitting in my living room about 30 minutes ago."

Gracie's eyes widened. "What?"

"Yeah. Jax walked in just in time for her to tell me that he's leaving Samcro." Tara went on to tell Gracie what Jax had said about going nomad and the need to get away from Clay before they killed each other. She didn't tell Gracie about John Teller's manuscript, but she did say that Jax has long term plans for making the club more legitimate, and that he feels he can't make any changes while Clay still holds the gavel.

Gracie sighed. "So, what does this all mean?"

Tara just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure, but I think I know someone who does."

Tara and Gracie waited for Neeta to get back to watch Abel before they both climbed in the Mustang and headed for TM.

* * *

Gemma was clear. Jax cannot go nomad. It's simply too dangerous. As they walked out of the TM office and back to Gracie's car, Tara ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "What the hell am I supposed to do here, Gracie Jane? Gemma swears Jax will die on the road alone, but Jax says he'll die if he stays. What do I do?"

Gracie just shook her head. "I have no idea, Doc. But whatever you do, whatever happens, I'm here and I love you."

Tara nodded and gave her a small smile. "I know." Tara walked over to the passenger door. "Would you mind giving me a ride to the hospital? I'm already going to be late for work and I don't have time to stop back at the house."

Gracie nodded. "Yeah, absolutely."

10 minutes later Gracie and Tara were walking in to St. Thomas when they were both stopped by a sour faced Margaret Murphy. "What are you two doing here? Dr. Mason should have called you, Dr. Knowles. And the nursing director should have been in touch with you, Miss Anderson."

Tara shook her head. "Listen, I don't really have time for this. I have to scrub in…"

Margaret shook her head, glaring at the two of them. "Neither one of you will be working any time soon. Did you honestly think that I wouldn't see through the rouse you played with Filip Telford? Teaching him to fake the appropriate symptoms so that he could extend his critical status? It was unethical, dangerous, and a breach of insurance law."

Gracie crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Murphy glanced over at Tara who stared back with an icy glare. "When I walked into the room, he was complaining of severe head pain…"

"Oh come now, Dr. Knowles. We all know the biker isn't that smart." Margaret looked at Tara and then back to Gracie. "He was coached, by one or both of you, I'm not sure which. But until the hospital board hears your cases and decides, you're both suspended."

Gracie and Tara stood stunned as they watched Margaret Murphy turn without another word and walk away. Gracie looked at Tara, an apologetic sadness all over her face. "Oh god, Knowles. I'm so sorry. I'm so…"

Tara just shook her head and hugged her. "It's ok, Gracie Jane. It's going to be alright. She has no proof. We'll be just fine, both of us."

* * *

Gracie was surprised when, around six o'clock that evening, she got a call from Juice saying that he was finally being discharged. She drove over as fast as she could, and by the time she got to the hospital, Juice was sitting on one of the benches by the front door. When he saw her Mustang pull up, he stood and smiled.

Gracie threw the car in park and jumped out, going to Juice and hugging him gently, careful to avoid the incisions on his lower back. "I'm so happy you're coming home. I've missed you so much, baby."

Gracie reached her hands up to his face, caressing his cheeks, before leaning up and giving him a long, slow kiss. When she pulled away, she grasped one of his hands and guided him to the passenger side of her car. "Come on. Let's get you out of here."

As soon as they got in the car, Juice called Bobby who told him that they already had chapel and that the vote was, reluctantly, unanimous; Jax Teller was officially a Nomad. He closed his flip phone and sighed, filled with a mixture of anger and sadness. He understood all the reasons Jax wanted to leave. His beef with Clay was eating him alive and affecting the whole charter. But a part of Juice still felt like he was being abandoned. When Jax agreed to sponsor him all those years ago, he told Juice that his brothers were now his family, that the charter was his home. He just couldn't understand how Jax could up and leave everything that ever mattered to him, especially with all the shit the club was currently dealing with like Zobelle, the Irish, the feds, and the loss of Caracara.

Gracie glanced over to Juice, hating the troubled expression on his face. She knew how much he loved Jax and how devastated he was to be losing him to another charter, even if he didn't say it. She took one of her hands from the steering wheel and moved it to hold one of his, interlacing their fingers and squeezing tightly. When he looked over at her she briefly smiled at him before focusing back on the road. "I love you, Juice."

Juice's eyes warmed as he stared at his girl and grinned. No matter what was going wrong in his life or how dark everything became, Gracie remained this little ray of sunshine that could permeate every gray cloud inside of him, making him feel like, as long as she was around, everything was right with the world.

He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it sweetly. "I love you too, Gracie Jane."

* * *

As soon as they got back to Charming, Juice told Gracie to pull up in front of Floyd's Barbershop so the old man could shave off the layer of short black hair that had grown all over his head since the night they were all first arrested. When he came back outside, Gracie looked up at him and smiled. "Now, there's the guy I fell in love with."

Juice smiled as he ran his hand over his newly returned mohawk and his perfectly clean scalp, once again revealing his tattoos. "Yeah, finally starting to feel like myself again."

Gracie walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "So where to now? Do you need to go to the clubhouse?"

Juice shook his head before leaning down and kissing her. "Nope. Not until tomorrow morning. I just want to go home and hang out with my girl. Sound good?"

Gracie just smiled and nodded. "Sounds perfect."

When they got back to the apartment, Juice took a long shower while Gracie heated up some food she had in the freezer. Their dinner was quiet but pleasant. Juice didn't talk about how disappointed he was that so much of his hard work at Caracara had been destroyed by the fire or how upset he was about Jax leaving the charter, and Gracie didn't talk about her suspension from work or how worried she was about everything the club was dealing with. Instead, they ate in a peaceful silence, too happy to once again be back in each other's company, in their cozy little home, to worry about anything going on outside their front door.

When they both were finished, Gracie stood up and cleared the table, placing the dishes in the sink. Then she went to the refrigerator and opened the door, looking inside. "Babe, what do you want for dessert? I have brownies, ice cream, cookies…"

Suddenly, Gracie felt a pair of strong hands gripping the sides of her hips. "What if I just want you for dessert, Gracie Jane?"

Gracie closed the refrigerator door and turned around just as Juice's hands moved to encircle her waist. She looked up at his flirty smile and laughed at the playful, hopeful expression on his face. She placed her hands on his chest, rolling her eyes but smiling. "Ok, first, that may be the cheesiest thing you've ever said. Seriously, like, epically cheesy." She leaned up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "Second, I don't know if that's a good idea, baby. You were stabbed less than a week ago and you have stitches and your surgeon said no strenuous activity for at least…"

Gracie was sure that whatever she was going to say next was something important, but she couldn't remember what it was, or anything else for that matter, once Juice started trailing kisses down the side of her neck. Tingles ran up her spine at the feel of his warm breath and soft lips traveling slowly over her skin, and she couldn't stop a sigh from escaping as her hands wrapped around the back of his neck. "Oh, this is so not fair."

Juice smiled against her neck as he pulled her even closer. "Sweetheart, do you have any idea how much I want you right now? How much I've missed you? Missed touching you?" He moved his hands under her shirt and cupped her breasts, running his thumbs over the thin, lacy fabric.

When he heard her quiet moan, Juice bit down on the base of Gracie's neck, sucking on the salt of her skin. "How much I've missed the sounds you make when I know I'm getting you wet?"

Juice let out his own groan as Gracie's nails dug into the back of his scalp, shooting a jolt of electricity straight to his groin. "Please, Gracie…" As he spoke, he used one of his hands to unbutton the top of her jeans, lower the zipper, and slide down the inside of her panties, his fingers quickly soaked in Gracie's juices. "Fuck, sweetheart. Please let me fuck you."

"Oh my god, baby…" Gracie moaned loudly as she felt Juice plunge two of his fingers deep inside her. She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him hard, her tongue tangling with his until they were both breathless, and when she finally pulled back and looked into his eyes, hooded and darkened with want, she knew that denying it was pointless. She needed him just as badly as he needed her.

Gracie grabbed his wrist, stilling the hand that was still inside her, and panted out one simple word. "Bedroom."

They both practically ran down the hallway, each shedding all of their clothes before they had even opened the bedroom door. As soon as they reached the big king side bed, Juice pushed Gracie back so that she was lying down and quickly climbed on top of her, his weight pressing her into the mattress. But just as he lined himself up at her glistening wet entrance, he felt Gracie wrap her leg around his hip and flip them over so that she was straddling his thighs.

He stared transfixed as Gracie ran her hands up and down his chest before leaning forward and kissing a pathway down his body; first his lips, then his jaw, down the side of his neck, over each one of his nipples, and down the length of his abs, licking and sucking until she made it down to his already throbbing cock.

"Jesus Christ, Sweetheart…" Juice sighed when Gracie finally wrapped her hand around his shaft, gripping him just how she knew he liked, moving her fist up and down, using her thumb to spread his precum all over his swollen tip.

He tried to keep his eyes on every move she made, but as soon as Gracie lowered her head and took him in her mouth he shut his eyes, letting them roll back in his head as waves of pleasure rippled through his entire body. He could feel her small hand still pumping him at his base while her mouth bobbed up and down his shaft, her tongue in constant motion, swirling and gliding around his sensitive head.

But just as he felt his body tense, letting him know that he was close to exploding, he moved his hands to the sides of her face and gently lifted her head until his still rock hard dick fell free from her lips. He loved every feeling, every touch, every sensation that Gracie was making him experience, but he hadn't been inside of his girl for a week, and he was aching for her.

"Please, Gracie. I want to fuck you. I want to feel you, sweetheart."

He lowered one of his hands and placed it between her thighs, burying two of his fingers inside of her and then quickly withdrawing them, using the wetness to rub them over her clit in smooth, tight circles.

Juice bit his lip and groaned as he watched Gracie reach up and squeeze her tits, grasping and pulling on her nipples while pushing herself down harder against his hand. The milky white skin that covered her body was slowly starting to flush all over so that it almost looked like a fire was lit within her, desperate to escape.

When her breath started to quicken and he felt his hand get even wetter, Gracie finally positioned herself over his cock. But before she made contact, she looked into his eyes and gave him a small, sexy smile. "I do all the work, you got that Juan Carlos? No strenuous activity."

Juice just grinned. "I think I can handle that, Gracie Jane."

He held himself firmly in his hand and ran his tip through her slick, pink folds before she finally lowered her body, sheathing him completely in her hot, tight core.

Juice moaned and writhed beneath her as he watched Gracie move on top of him, grinding her hips in a circular motion so that he hit every angle inside of her. When he saw the beads of sweat dripping down her neck, he fought the urge to sit up and lick them clean, and instead moved his hand back to her clit, rubbing her just the right way until he could feel her start to tighten.

As Gracie neared closer and closer to her release, she quickened her pace just slightly, grinding harder against him and playing with her tits until her belly started to clench and she knew she was coming undone.

Juice groaned as Gracie threw her head back and screamed. "Oh god, baby. I'm coming, Juice! Oh, god! Fuck!"

He clenched his jaw when he was hit with the mind blowing feeling of Gracie's muscles quivering and contracting around his dick, the sensation almost too much to handle. He softened his touch on her now sensitive, swollen clit but never stopped rubbing her until she rode out the last waves of her orgasm.

A few moments later, as Gracie's body slowly stopped shaking, she stared down at him, sweaty and smiling, a look of total satisfaction on her face. She rested her hands against Juice's chest, leaning forward until she was close enough to give him a slow, deep kiss, biting softly on his lower lip before sinking her tongue into his mouth, savoring every taste. When she finally pulled back, her voice was breathless but happy. "I love you so much, Juan Carlos."

Juice tucked the auburn locks that were falling onto his face behind her ears and smiled up at his everything. "I fucking love you, Gracie Jane."

Gracie bit her lip and sighed as she raised herself back up, still supporting herself with her hands on Juice's chest, and started slowly rocking her hips. Her movements, as always, were perfect, but after a few minutes the cautious, deliberate pace she had set had become torture, constantly bringing him right up to the edge, but not giving him enough to fall over.

He placed his hands on her hips and squeezed, his voice raw with need. "Gracie…fuck, you're killing me sweetheart. You've gotta start moving."

Gracie bit her lip, concern etched on her face. "But I don't want to hurt you."

Juice would have laughed if he wasn't so touched by the sweet, worried look on her face. "I'm fine. You could never hurt me. Please sweetheart. I just need a little more. Please."

Gracie nodded hesitantly before finally picking up speed, rocking her hips at a gradually faster pace until she was giving him exactly what he wanted; a good and hard fuck.

"Oh, shit…that's it, sweetheart. Just like that, Gracie. Fuck…oh, fuck…"

He knew he told Gracie she could do all the work, but as he got closer the urge to move became too strong. He suddenly forgot all about his injuries as he held onto Gracie's hips and thrust up into her as hard as he could.

But the second he did a shooting pain went through his lower back and he couldn't hide the wince across his face.

Gracie immediately stilled. "Oh my god, are you alright? I knew we shouldn't have done this. Oh my god…"

Gracie went to raise up, but Juice's hands clamped down on her hips hard enough to bruise. _Oh, fuck no._ The pain had been temporary and had already gone, but even if it hadn't, nothing in the entire fucking universe could make him stop fucking his girl right now.

Juice shook his head and grinned at his Gracie, loosening his grip on her hips just slightly. "I'm fine, sweetheart. Really. You can't stop. You can't. I might actually die if you stop."

Gracie tried so hard, but she couldn't hide her smile. His cock was still twitching inside of her and his big, puppy dog eyes were so pleading. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Juice nodded quickly. "I swear. Please don't stop, Gracie. Please."

Gracie sighed as she moved her hands to the sides of his head, lowering herself down so that she was less than an inch from his face. "I do all the work, Juan Carlos."

He didn't have time to nod before she raised herself up completely and started bouncing on his dick, leaning back slightly so that her hands rested on his thighs. She was fucking him mercilessly, fast and rough, and after just a few seconds of watching her tits bouncing up and down and her pussy moving on his soaking wet cock over and over, he came like a fucking freight train.

He threw his head back and grabbed the rails of the headboard, roaring out her name for what seemed like forever until his senses started to return to him and he came down from his high.

Gracie waited until had completely emptied himself inside of her before slowly raising up off of his lap, laying down beside him and pulling the quilt up over their tired, spent bodies. She rested her head on his shoulder, laying one of her arms over his chest.

Gracie lifted her head slightly and kissed his neck. "You know, you could have popped your stitches, baby. I hope it was worth it."

Juice just smiled before kissing the top of Gracie's head. "You're worth everything, Gracie Jane. You're the one thing that makes everything in my life worth it."

* * *

When Gracie woke up the next morning, she smiled before she even opened her eyes. Juice was curled around her back and holding her tightly against his chest. She sank into him, totally content in the still silence of the morning and the warmth of his arms. _God, I've missed waking up like this._ She closed her eyes once more, memorizing every second of this perfect moment, until she felt the breath on her neck quicken, letting her know that Juice was awake, too.

She rolled onto her back so that she could look into his still sleepy eyes, the prettiest shade of brown she'd ever seen. "Good morning, baby."

Juice didn't say anything. He just softly smiled, touching her cheek before moving his thumb to run back and forth over her lips. Then he leaned in and kissed her, gently at first, but deepening it as he slowly moved on top of her. He ran one of his hands down the length of Gracie's body and was about to hitch one of her legs around his waist when his phone started to ring and Gracie's started to vibrate simultaneously.

He groaned as he reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his phone, seeing Jax's number flash across the screen. "Hey man. What's up?"

"Hey, Juicey. Emergency church. Get here as soon as you can…and bring Gracie."

"Alright brother, I'll be there."

Juice ended the call just as Gracie reached over to the table on her side of the bed, and she could have sworn her heart stopped beating as she read the text from Tara.

_Gemma told Clay and Jax the truth. They're telling the guys this morning. –T_

"Hey? Are you ok?" Gracie looked over at the concerned, confused expression on Juice's face and sighed.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Jax just called. He said there's an emergency and we have to get to the clubhouse. He said I was supposed to bring you too. Do you know what this is about?"

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "Yeah, I do…but I can't say anything. Jax will fill you in when you get there."

She went to climb out of bed, but Juice grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. "Gracie, what the fuck? Are you ok? What's going on?"

Gracie bit down on her lower lip before leaning in and giving him a small kiss. "Baby, I'm fine. Please trust me. It's not…it's not my story to tell. Please."

Juice stared at her for a moment longer before he reluctantly nodded. "Ok, let's go."

15 minutes later Gracie had thrown on a pair of faded skinny jeans, a loose white tank top, a red zip-up hoodie, and her white converse, her hair haphazardly pulled back in a messy bun. She was holding onto Juice's waist as they sped towards TM, unable to think about anything but what was about to happen. She knew how much all the Sons loved Gemma, knew that anyone of them would die for her, would kill for her, even Juice. He loved her like a mother, and when he heard what happened, it was going to devastate him. But she was even more worried about what they would all do to retaliate, and who would get hurt in the process.

When they pulled into the lot, Juice backed in his Dyna and they both climbed off. Neither spoke as Juice held her hand and they walked quickly into the clubhouse. When they got inside, she saw Gemma and Tara sitting at one of the tables with Abel, while most of the guys were already sitting around the redwood. Juice started walking towards the chapel, but Gracie held tight to his hand, pulling him close and hugging him tightly before kissing him on the cheek. "I love you."

The hardened expression that Juice had worn since Jax's phone call finally softened as he leaned forward and gave her a small, sweet kiss. "I love you too."

Then he let go of her hand and walked into the chapel, closing the doors behind him.

* * *

He couldn't believe it, couldn't accept it, couldn't wrap his head around something so completely fucked up. _Gemma was fucking raped._ Juice looked over to Jax and Clay and was crushed by the anguish in his brothers' eyes. The entire table wanted blood, but Clay and Jax agreed that they all needed to swallow their hate, just for a little while, until they could formulate a deadly, but smart, retaliation.

Clay was just about to slam down the gavel, but paused to take a deep breath, looking first at Jax, and then over to Juice. "There's just one more thing fellas. Gemma told me that she couldn't have gotten through all this shit without the help of three people; Unser, Tara, and Grace."

At the mention of her name, Juice's eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

Jax sighed. "The night it happened, Tara and Gracie took care of my mom. They stitched her up, took her to the hospital, kept her secret and helped her deal with everything."

Juice suddenly remembered the night before Gemma's "accident" and recalled that Gracie had told him that she needed to go into work for a few hours in the middle of the night. That must have been when she left to go help Gem.

Clay looked over to Jax, "We owe the Doc…" and then to Juice, "and Gracie too. Gemma wouldn't have gotten through the last few weeks without them."

When church was adjourned the guys stood up and walked out the door after each one embraced Jax and Clay.

Gracie watched as they all filed out of the chapel, one by one, heartbreak written all over their faces. She wiped a stray tear away when she saw all of the men she'd grown to love, always so strong and sure of themselves, looking completely lost. They all went to Gemma, hugging her tightly and telling her they love her; Gemma trying to comfort them like she always did in spite of her own personal pain. Then each one came over to where she and Tara were sitting, thanking them for their help.

Gracie held it together while Tig, Bobby, Piney, and Ope expressed their gratitude, but she couldn't stop her tears from falling when she saw Happy, always so good at hiding his emotions, wipe his reddened eyes as he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. Next was Chibs, who knelt down in front of her chair, cradling her face in his hands before kissing her on the forehead. "Always our angel, darling girl."

Gracie softly smiled, gently squeezing his wrists before looking over and finally seeing Juice walk out of the chapel with Jax. She stood from her chair just as Jax made his way in front of her, patting Chibs on the shoulder before pulling Gracie into a hug. "Mom told me how you helped her, how you helped Tara take care of her. Thank you, darlin'. I love you."

Gracie just nodded. "Love you too, Jax. I'm so sorry this happened."

Jax walked over to Tara while Gracie turned her head and saw Juice with his arms wrapped around Gemma. She watched as they said a few words to each other and then held her breath as he walked slowly in her direction.

Gracie bit down on her quivering lip and shook her head. "I am so, so sorry I lied to you, baby. I just…"

Her words were stopped by Juice leaning down and kissing her softly. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers, his hands still caressing her cheeks. "You did what you had to do to protect my family…our family. I'm so fucking proud of you, Gracie Jane."

Gracie smiled at his words, but her relief was soon replaced by worry as she saw the men around her, all steeling themselves for what now had to be done. Gracie didn't know what was going to happen, what they were going to do, but she knew one thing was certain… Samcro was about to go to war.

* * *

Clay had sent everyone home to bring in their personal weapons since the club was running low on guns, and they needed as many as possible to defend themselves against Zobelle and his men. Juice and Gracie rode back to the apartment where she retrieved the three handguns she owned, plus the unregistered glock that Gemma gave her last week. She watched as Juice lifted up one of the floorboards in the closet and pulled out a shotgun and four more semiautomatic pistols.

He put all the guns into a duffel bag along with some extra clothes. "Sweetheart, you might want to pack some clothes too in case we need to stay at the clubhouse for a few days. Do you think there's any way you can get off work for the next week or so?"

Gracie blew out a deep breath as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Um, actually, work isn't going to be an issue for a while. I, uh, kind of got suspended."

Juice's eyes shot up to Gracie in confusion. "What? What the fuck happened?"

Gracie just shrugged her shoulders. "The hospital administrator knew that Chibs was faking his symptoms. Somehow she knows that it was me that coached him, although she suspended Tara too. I guess she thinks we were working together."

Juice placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head. "Oh shit, Gracie. "

He watched his girl put on a brave face and try to smile, even though he knew how much she loved her job and what being a nurse meant to her. He crossed the distance between them and pulled her close. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Gracie just shook her head and gave him a small, broken smile. "Don't be. Tara said Murphy has no proof, that she just has suspicions and nothing more. I'm sure everything will be ok once the board hears our case in a few weeks. Besides, I'd do it all over again if it meant keeping Chibs safe. Just don't mention anything to Jax yet. I'm not sure when Tara is planning on telling him about it."

When Juice nodded, Gracie leaned up on her toes and kissed his cheek. "So, I guess you'll get to hang out with me every day, Ortiz. Hope you don't get sick of having me around."

Juice just smiled and shook his head. "Impossible."

**Please review!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hi everyone! I know I say it every chapter, but thanks so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. Love your feedback and love all of you! **

**To the guest reviewer who asked me if I am going to write any holiday chapters, I honestly hadn't thought about it. But if it is something you guys would like, I will do a Christmas chapter sometime next month. Just let me know!**

**So here is the end of Season 2! I hope you enjoy it and, as always, please review.**

Chapter 35

It all went so very wrong, so very fast…

* * *

As soon as they got back to the clubhouse, Juice took the duffel bag full of weapons into the chapel while Gracie went to talk to Tara. They decided that since Juice and the guys were going to be busy planning for whatever was happening the next day, Tara and Gracie would go back to Tara's house to take care of Abel and keep him away from all the craziness for as long as possible.

But as it happens, they were only at the house for about an hour when Juice called and said they were needed back at the clubhouse, something about Tig needing stitched up.

When they got there, the only Sons they saw were Clay, Bobby and Kip, and none of them would look the girls in the eyes, obviously hiding something about whatever went down while they were gone. Tara and Gracie walked back to the apartment with Kip and found Tig with a swollen and bruised face, covered in blood.

Gracie gasped. "Jesus, Tig. Are you alright? What happened?"

Tig forced a smile but there was no light behind his strangely vacant eyes. "Just a scuffle, Red. Me and a brother."

Tara just shook her head as she unzipped her medical bag and started to prepare her supplies. Kip stood by the bed and watched quietly as Gracie started cleaning Tig's cuts while Tara examined his face for fractures and started suturing. They worked in silence for about 15 minutes until Tara had tied the last stitch.

When Tig stood up to go to the bathroom, Gracie looked at Tara and sighed. "What the hell was that all about?"

Tara just shrugged her shoulders. "I have no idea, but from the look of his injuries, it doesn't even seem like Tig put up a fight."

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. She didn't know Tig as well as she knew the other guys, but he didn't seem like the type to just lay down and take a beating.

Kip started making his way slowly to the door, flinching with every movement. Tara noticed the weird way he was walking and looked at him in concern. "Um, are you ok?"

The prospect winced as he took another step. "Uh, I think there's something going on with my implant. Would you mind taking a look, Doc?"

Tara didn't even have time to respond before Kip dropped his pants.

Gracie's hands immediately shot to her cover her mouth. "Oh my god…"

Tara gasped. "Oh, ok. Um, wow, just, yeah…that is really, really infected. You need to get to the ER, Half-Sack, immediately."

Just then, the door swung open and Clay and Bobby came in and stared in horror, while at the same time Tig came out of the bathroom, looked at Kip's balls, and puked his guts out.

Gracie quickly walked over to the prospect, looking anywhere but…there. "Um, yeah, ok. Kip, honey, pull your pants up." Kip looked at Gracie and nodded as he, ever so carefully, covered himself up. Once he refastened his belt, she put her arm around his waist, guiding him to the hallway. "Knowles, guys, I'm taking Kip to St. Thomas. I'll call you later."

As soon as they got into Gracie's car, Kip looked over at her and gave her a small, embarrassed smile. "Thanks, Gracie. Sorry you, uh, had to see that."

Gracie looked at his sweet, broken grin and smiled. _How could anyone not love this kid?_ "It's alright, sweetie. That's what friends are for. Now let's get you to the hospital."

An hour later, Gracie was holding Kip's hand when his doctor told him that his body was rejecting his implant, and she kissed his cheek when she saw the disappointment etched across his face. And as he got wheeled off to surgery to have it removed, Gracie just shook her head and sighed. _My life may be a little complicated, but it sure as hell isn't boring._

* * *

It was dark outside by the time Juice saw Gracie's Mustang pull back into the TM lot, and for the first time that he could remember, he wasn't happy to see her; not because he hadn't missed her all fucking day, but because he knew that when he saw her he would have to lie to her, and he honestly didn't know how. _I can't tell her. I mean, where would I even fucking begin?_ Tig had killed Donna…well, really Stahl had killed her by making Opie look so guilty that Clay ordered a hit on him, only to have it tragically fall on his completely innocent wife. Then they find out that not only is the ATF bitch who started everything back in town and trying to get Chibs to rat out the Irish, but that Cameron fucking Hayes is selling their guns to Zobelle. They had all agreed that Chibs was in the clear, that they would do everything to protect Fiona and Kerianne from Jimmy O, and that, with Opie's blessing, they would keep the truth about Donna's death a secret for the sake of the charter. But just as church was about to adjourn, Piney stormed in and tried to shoot Clay. _Jesus Christ. What the fuck is happening to us?_

Juice did his best to plaster on a smile as Gracie stepped out of the car with a tired looking Half-Sack. When she got close enough, he reached out and pulled her close, kissing her quickly before tucking her into his side. He looked up and nodded to the prospect. "Hey, man. How are you doing?"

Sack just shrugged. "My body rejected the implant, so they had to take it out. It was a stupid idea anyway." He looked over to Gracie and nodded. "Thanks for being there today, Gracie."

Gracie reached out and squeezed his hand. "No problem, sweetie. I'm really sorry it didn't work out."

When the prospect had walked back into the clubhouse, Juice looked at Gracie and smirked. "So the new nut didn't take, huh?"

Gracie rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide her grin. "Unfortunately no, so it looks like the awful nickname you guys gave him is going to stick. So, how was your day?"

"It was…it was fine." Juice walked her over to where he had parked his bike and reached into his saddle bags, handing Gracie her helmet before strapping on his own and sitting down on his Dyna. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's go home. I'm beat, and all I want to do is have one more good night's sleep with you in our bed before we go under lockdown tomorrow."

Juice hated the look of concern on his girl's face. _I should have known she'd see right through me._ She went to stand beside him and placed her hand on his cheek, her voice quiet but so fucking sweet. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Juice looked at the ground and nodded. "I know. Just…not this. Not yet."

Gracie did her best to suppress the urge to question him more. Since the night the Mayans tried to kill Clay and Juice finally talked to her about some of the club business, he had been very open with her about everything. By now even Gracie knew the rule. _You tell them everything or you tell them nothing._ As far as she knew, Juice had held nothing back from her, so for him to be hiding something now, she knew it had to be something pretty bad.

So she didn't say another word, not until she had strapped on her helmet and climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms firmly around his waist. Then she leaned forward, kissed the back of his neck, and whispered against his ear. "Tell me when you're ready, but until then just know that I love you, no matter what."

Juice didn't say anything. He just nodded and squeezed her hands before starting up his Harley and heading for home.

* * *

Juice and Gracie woke up before dawn the next morning, and as Gracie pulled on her distressed skinny jeans and red flannel she couldn't stop the chill from running down her spine when she saw Juice slipping on his holster and methodically examining his gun, ensuring that he had a full clip before loading it into the glock and pulling back the slide so that a bullet was waiting in the chamber.

When Juice saw her worried expression he went to stand in front of her, moving his hands to the sides of her face and kissing her softly. "Hey, I told you last night. Everything will be fine. I'll be careful. Nothing's gonna happen to me."

When Gracie looked into his eyes, she was reminded of all the times her father had told her the exact same thing before he would fly off on his missions. He had the same sincerity in his voice, the same conviction on his face, the same love in his eyes. But just like when her father made those same promises, Gracie knew that they were empty, that Juice had no way of knowing what would happen. So Gracie did the same thing with Juice that she had always done with her Dad…she accepted that the future was unknown and that the only thing that mattered was the time they still had together.

Gracie placed her hands on Juice's chest, running them over the leather of his kutte, before raising up on her toes and kissing him, slowly at first and then more passionately as Juice's arms moved to her waist, crushing her against him. She knew that she would never talk him out of doing whatever he was about to do, and she didn't know if she would even want to. The guys weren't going after Zobelle because of money or guns or territory. They were going after Zobelle because of Gemma, because every day that those assholes walked free was another day that they could hurt their family. And just like her father, Gracie was proud of Juice for defending the people he loved.

After a few more seconds, Gracie pulled back slowly and gave Juice a reassuring smile. "Love you forever."

Juice placed his hand on the back of her neck and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Forever, Gracie."

* * *

Lockdown was just as crazy as Juice had described. By the time he and Gracie pulled into TM, the lot was almost full with strange cars and too many bikes to count. Gracie pulled off her helmet and looked around, seeing every croweater she'd ever met, along with old ladies, ex wives, a ton of kids, and Sons from at least two other charters.

Gracie gave Juice a kiss on the cheek before walking into the clubhouse and throwing her overloaded backpack in his dorm room, while Juice went off to help his brothers.

When she came back out to the main room, she said hello to Lyla and the kids before walking behind the bar and pouring herself a cup of coffee. Then she quickly sat down in one of the few vacant bar stools.

She was too busy watching all the people flooding into the clubhouse to notice that someone had sat down on the stool beside her, but she suddenly turned when she felt a large hand squeeze her thigh.

"Hey beautiful." She had never seen the blond guy before, but he was wearing a kutte that said he was from the Tacoma chapter. Gracie felt her cheeks redden as she quickly shoved his hand off her leg, but before she could say anything, Happy appeared behind the man, slapping him on the back of the head.

"What the hell?" The blond man was rubbing the back of his head, shooting daggers at Happy.

Hap's deep, gravelly voice sounded even more pissed off than usual. "She's Juice's old lady, asshole."

To his credit, the guy actually looked a little embarrassed. "Oh, shit. Sorry, honey. I didn't see any ink and you weren't with anyone. I'm Kozik."

He flashed her a big, perfect smile, which Gracie couldn't help but return. He was charming and flirty, but there was something in his eyes that told her he was a decent guy. "Um, hi. I'm Grace. It's nice to meet you."

Kozik and Gracie shook hands, and Gracie blushed and rolled her eyes when Kozik held it for a few seconds longer than necessary.

Hap sighed and pulled Koz off the stool, nodding once to Gracie, before pulling his brother outside.

Once they were standing by the picnic tables, Koz lit a cigarette and took a long, slow drag. "You didn't tell me Juicey got himself an old lady. Where did you put her crow?"

Hap lit up his own Marlboro and shook his head. "I didn't. He hasn't asked me to yet."

Koz cocked his head to the side and smirked. "How long they been together?"

Hap just shrugged his shoulders as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. "A while."

Happy's eyes narrowed when he saw Koz's eyes drift back to the clubhouse before a familiar grin crossed his face. "Well, fuck brother. He can't be that serious about her. She ain't no old lady yet. And she's fucking hot as hell. I wonder if she has a thing for blonds…"

Before Koz even knew what was happening, Hap shoved him back as hard as he could, almost knocking him on his ass. "You and me in the ring fucker, as soon as this shit with Zobelle is over."

Kozik just looked at him, stunned. "What the fuck, man?"

Hap got right up in his face, his voice quiet but lethal. "Grace is Juice's old lady, you hear me? And even if she wasn't, she's off limits."

Kozik watched with wide eyes as Happy stormed off in the other direction, and after a moment, he couldn't stop a slow, surprised smile from spreading across his face. Happy Lowman didn't do relationships. Happy Lowman didn't have old ladies. But in all the years that Koz had known him, Happy had never looked at a woman the way he looked at the hot little redhead. _Well, shit. I think he likes her._

Juice was just closing the front gate behind Tara's cutlass, finally getting everyone inside, when he saw Happy walking up to him in long, quick strides. "Hey brother. I think we got…"

"Are you gonna give Gracie your crow?"

Juice looked up at Happy, totally lost. "What?"

"Your ink. Are you gonna put a crow on Gracie?"

Juice couldn't help but stutter under the intensity of Happy's glare and the suddenness of his question. He had his reasons for not giving Gracie a crow, but he wasn't about to share them with anyone. "Look, man. I don't…I mean, we haven't…why are asking?"

Happy just sighed and shook his head. "Because if you won't give her a crow, then someone else will."

Hap just turned around silently and walked away, leaving a stunned Juice staring after him.

* * *

So far, everything was going according to plan. As soon as Clay gave his speech to everyone, Juice gave Gracie a kiss and went into the chapel, where all the patches sorted out the details of what was to come. As soon as Clay struck the gavel against the table, Juice left with Ope and Jax to tell Weston about Zobelle working with the Mexicans, all three of them fighting the urge to murder that son of a bitch on the middle of fucking Main Street for what he did to Gemma.

From there, they went to the meeting with Laroy and the Chinese to get the support they would need to take down the League. Sometime in the middle of the day, they all reconvened at the clubhouse to lay out the final plan for the night and to let Tara take a look at Chucky.

Gracie handed Tara a piece of saline soaked gauze as they sat at the table and treated Chucky, the new guy with mangled hands and two fingers. _Yep, life is definitely interesting._ Her morning had gone by quickly, which she was thankful for. There was too much to do, too many people to get settled in, for her to do nothing but sit and worry about Juice. But she couldn't hide her relief when she saw him walk back into the clubhouse with the rest of the guys.

He leaned down to the table where she was sitting and kissed her cheek before going to stand by the bar with the rest of the guys. When Tara had applied the last of the dressing to Chucky's hands, Gemma gave them both a look telling them that it was time for them to leave so that the club could talk business. Gemma and Tara left to run some errands while Gracie went to the other side of the room to help Lyla entertain all the kids.

A few minutes later, Juice looked over and smiled when he saw Gracie sitting on the couch with Kenny Winston in her lap, reading him a story. And just for a fleeting moment, he let his mind drift to that secret fantasy he kept locked deep in his heart; the one where Gracie was the mother of his children, where he had a wife and kids and a family all his own. But just as fast he shook away his daydream and walked over to them, kissing Gracie on the top of the head and ruffling Kenny's hair with his hand. "Hey, big man. What are you up to over here? Trying to push up on my woman?"

Gracie smiled when she saw the little boy's eyes light up at the sight of his favorite friend. Kenny just giggled. "Hi, Uncle Juice! Grace is reading me a story about a dragon!"

Juice grinned. "Wow, really? Dragons are pretty scary, Ken. Are you afraid?"

Kenny smiled even wider and shook his head. "Nope. Grace told me that there's nothing I ever need to be afraid of because you and my daddy and my Grandpa and my Uncle Jax will always protect me."

_And just when I think I can't love her even more._ Juice looked at his girl, getting lost in her gorgeous green eyes, before looking back to Kenny and nodding. "That's right, big man. We love you and your sister and everyone else in our family, and we'll always protect you."

"And Grace too, right? You'll protect her too?"

Juice just smiled. "Absolutely, buddy. Grace too."

About 15 minutes later, Juice was back on his bike, riding with Ope and Jax to the police station to tell Weston about the fight; 10 on 10, man to man, no weapons. Their best guys against the best Sons, settling the beef with the Aryans once and for all. He could already feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins at the thought of finally getting to beat the shit out of those fuckers, something he'd wanted to do since the night they first showed up at TM and he found out that Weston had all but threatened Gracie.

But first they had to get their guns back from Hayes, which meant temporarily working with Jimmy O; a plan that everyone hated for Chibs' sake, but that all agreed was necessary. And with Chucky's help, it went off without a hitch. The club got their guns back and, as a bonus, they humiliated that stupid, fucking bitch, Agent Stahl.

As soon as they all got back to the clubhouse, they went into the chapel and started assembling and loading the newly acquired weapons. And just a few hours later, with the last pieces of the plan in place, they were all finally ready to brawl.

* * *

Gracie did her best to bury her fears as she heard the roar of all the engines. All the guys were saying goodbye to their old ladies, heading off for a showdown that she was sure would be dangerous. But Juice didn't need to see her how nervous or how worried she was. He didn't need to try and comfort her. He just needed to focus on what needed to be done and know that she supported him no matter what.

Juice walked over to her and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, tangling it in her hair and pulling her forward before kissing her deeply. "I love you."

Gracie placed her hands on his chest and smiled when she felt her father's compass resting in the inside pocket of his kutte. Then she looked up into his eyes, letting her hands travel upwards until they cradled his face. "You do whatever you have to do to find your way back to me."

Juice just stared into her eyes for a few more seconds before nodding. "Always, sweetheart." Then he reached up and held her wrists, pulling them down and kissing both of her hands before turning away from her, climbing onto his bike, and riding away with his brothers.

* * *

It was sometime after midnight when Gracie finally heard the rumble of Harleys outside of the clubhouse. She ran outside along with Tara, Lyla, and Gemma and found all the guys a little bloody but, thankfully, whole.

Gracie walked towards Juice as quickly as she could, and when she reached him she practically fell into his arms. She hugged his waist tightly, burying her face against his chest and letting out a huge sigh of relief. _I can feel his heart beating. I can feel him breathing. He's fine. He's ok._

After a moment she looked up at his face. His lower lip was bleeding and he had a small cut on his cheek, but otherwise he seemed unharmed. But her relief vanished when she noticed the angry, disappointed expression he was wearing. Something had obviously gone wrong.

Juice didn't say anything. He just grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers, and walked with her into the clubhouse, immediately guiding them to his dorm room. When they got there he closed the door and walked over to the dresser, taking off his kutte and weapons.

Gracie bit her lower lip, hesitating for just a moment before nervously speaking. "So…can you tell me what happened?"

Juice placed his hands on the top of the dresser and blew out a long, frustrated breath. "We had them. It was just how we planned. And then Hale showed up along with the rest of the fucking police department and arrested Weston before Jax was able to beat the fucker to death." He looked up to Gracie to gauge her reaction, and when he saw her gently nod, he went on. "So as soon as we were clear, we went to Zobelle's shop to kill him and his daughter, but before Clay could pull the trigger, Hale showed up again. Unser tried to help us, but Zobelle told the cops he had heroine so they would arrest him. So now him and his bitch of a daughter are locked up, safe and sound, at the police station along with Weston, where we can't get to any of them."

Gracie watched as he closed his eyes and sighed, running a hand over his mohawk like he always did when he was upset. Gracie just stood there, in the middle of the room, and tried to process her own muddled thoughts. _I knew they wanted to kill Weston and Zobelle. I knew that was the plan, and I'm ok with it. Those men are monsters and they deserve to die. It's justice, plain and simple. And Zobelle's daughter? She knew exactly what was going to happen to Gemma when she lured her out of her car that night. She's not innocent. She's as guilty as the three men who committed the rape, and as guilty as her father who orchestrated everything. _

She was so deep in thought that she didn't even notice Juice had come to stand in front of her until he had his hands on her hips. She raised her eyes to look at his face, and she saw a scared but resolved man staring back. "I need you to know everything. I can't lie to you. I can't keep things from you. It kills me, sweetheart. I'm sorry if it scares you, and I understand if you think it's wrong, that I'm wrong. And I'll understand whenever I say the thing that finally makes you hate me. But I need you to know me, to see me. Gracie Jane, you're the only person that sees me."

Gracie looked into his eyes and shook her head, placing her hands on his barely bruising cheeks. "Yeah, it's a little scary…it's a lot scary. And I'm sure, at some point, I'll disagree with something you do for the club. But I always want to know everything. No matter how bad you think it is or how badly you think I'll take it, because I need to be allowed to help you through it, because I don't want you to carry the burdens of your life by yourself. And I will _never_ hate you. Whatever it is, whatever happens, I will _always_ see you. And I will _always_ love you."

Juice just stood there, overcome with emotion, unable to take his eyes off the woman in front of him, the light in his darkness. Just five minutes ago he was so consumed with rage and anger that he thought he was going to explode, and now all he felt was love, Gracie's love, filling him so completely that he thought his heart might burst out of his chest.

Gracie kissed his cheek before walking past him to the bathroom and retrieving the small first aid kit he kept under the sink. Then she walked back over to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him over to the bed where they both sat down.

Neither said a word while Gracie cleaned the blood from his lip and cheek and placed a small butterfly bandage over his cut. When she was finished, she examined his face once more to make sure she didn't miss anything, but paused when she saw the smallest smile appear on his lips.

She tilted her head to the side and grinned. "What are you smiling about?"

His voice was soft but happy. "I've never had anyone to take care of me before."

Gracie looked at his sweetly before slowly leaning forward and barely kissing his bruised and swollen lips. "Well you do now."

* * *

By dawn the next morning all of Samcro, along with their old ladies, were hanging out outside of Charming PD, not so patiently waiting for their chance to get their hands on Weston and Zobelle. But just a couple of hours into their vigil, Unser came out and told them that retaliation would have to wait. Weston was being released because Chucky was a felon and his testimony wouldn't be good enough for the arson charge. But unfortunately Weston was going to have a supervised visitation with one of his kids, which meant that he would be riding with a deputy all day. An even bigger surprise was that Zobelle was apparently a rat for the FBI which meant that he and his daughter were under their protection and were also free to walk. And for just a moment, as Zobelle and his daughter exited the police station, the guys finally thought they were going to have their chance; that is, until almost every Northern Cali Mayan showed up in the middle of Charming, acting as Zobelle's own person bodyguards.

When the guys saw Alvarez and the rest of his MC, they knew that shit was going to escalate, so they had Half-Sack take Gemma, Tara, Gracie, and Lyla back to the clubhouse to wait with the rest of the people still there on lockdown. After that, it was like High Noon on fucking Main Street with both MCs facing off in front of Zobelle's cigar shop, with cops all over the street, trying to keep the peace.

A few hours into the standoff Jax, Ope, and Chibs took off to take care of Weston, while the rest of Samcro went back to the clubhouse to strategize, leaving just Juice and a few of the Tacoma guys alone to watch for any movement from Zobelle and the Mayans. And that's where he stayed for another couple of hours until he finally saw Zobelle emerge from his store and the Mayans start up their bikes. Then he flipped open his phone and called Clay, letting him know that shit was going down.

* * *

Gracie had hung out at the clubhouse with everyone else for most of the day, but after a few hours she, Tara, and Gemma all left with Abel to get some more supplies, the Cutlass tailed closely the entire time by Half-Sack.

They had just finished up at the grocery store when Gemma suddenly turned to stare at a young, blonde woman that Gracie had never seen before, and before Gracie or Tara knew what was happening, Gemma took the car keys from Tara's hands and climbed into the driver's seat.

Gem looked at them impatiently, determination written all over her face. "Come on girls. Get in."

Gracie and Tara looked at each other in confusion before getting into the car, Gracie in the passenger seat and Tara in the back next to Abel's car seat. They drove for about 10 minutes, always keeping enough distance behind the other car to not raise suspicion, and when they finally stopped about a block down from where the blonde woman had parked, Gemma looked at Gracie and Tara and sighed.

"Clay, Jax, Juice, all of their brothers…they're all out there right now, risking their lives for me. This is the least I can do for them." It only took Gracie and Tara a moment to finally realize who the girl was that they'd been following and what Gemma was planning on doing.

Tara's voice was cracking and full of emotion. "Gemma, whatever you think you have to do, you don't. What you went through would have broken most women, but it somehow just made you stronger. Please, Gemma. Don't do this."

Gemma just shook her head and offered a small smile to both of them. "Get my grandson out of here. I love you both." And with that, Gemma climbed out of the car and made her way to the small ranch house down the block.

"Fuck." Tara sighed as she got out of the backseat and into the front of the car.

Gracie looked down the street at Gemma before looking back to Tara, her voice little more than a whisper. "Oh my god. She's going to kill her."

Tara started the engine just as Kip pulled up beside them. "What's going on?"

Tara ran a hand threw her hair before looking over at the prospect. "Stay here. Gemma's going to need you."

Kip looked down the street after Gem and Gracie and Tara could see the moment the light bulb when off in his head. "Oh, shit."

Tara didn't say anything else. She just pressed the gas, turned the wheel, and headed for home; the entire ride silent but filled with the clawing, overwhelming presence of dread.

* * *

Gracie and Tara had been back at Jax's house for about an hour, packing up baby supplies and trying their best not to go crazy with worry, when they heard the front door open.

Tara turned and called out immediately. "Jax?"

Kip walked into the kitchen, shaking his head. Gracie waited a moment, waiting to see if anyone walked in after him, before panic started to set in. "Where's Gemma?"

Kip ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed. "I don't know. Feds raided the house. I had to leave."

Gracie paled as Tara slammed her hands down on the counter in frustration. "Shit."

Kip just nodded. "You better call Jax."

Tara blew out a nervous breath and nodded, walking over to the kitchen table and picking up her phone. She called Jax, but was barely able to tell him that Gemma had followed Zobelle's daughter when she suddenly screamed. Cameron Hayes had just walked into the house and was pointing a gun directly at her head.

He took the phone out of Tara's trembling hand and hung it up before going to Kip and taking his weapon. Gracie stared in confusion at the man whose life she'd helped save only a few months ago and tried to control the fear in her voice. "Cameron, what are doing?"

Gracie could see the tears building up in his reddened eyes, desperation written all over his face. "Gemma killed my Eddy. My son. I figure, killing an old lady would even the score." Then he trained his gun back on Tara.

Gracie felt the bile rise in her throat as she took a step towards him. "Cameron, please…"

But she stopped dead in her tracks when he turned the gun on her. "Don't Grace. You're a nice girl, but I promise I'll kill you. Now sit down." He looked over to Kip and nodded. "Both of you." Gracie and Kip were both frozen in place until Cameron stepped even closer and held the gun against the prospect's temple. "Sit!"

And it was after hearing Cameron yell that sweet little Abel started to softly coo from the counter where he'd been sleeping in his car seat. Tara, Gracie, and Kip all tensed as Hayes finally noticed the baby. "Ah, there now…" He kept the gun pointed at them while he used his other hand to withdraw a large knife from the block on the counter. "A son for a son. Seems about right."

It all happened so fast. As soon as Gracie saw the knife at Abel's throat, she didn't even think. She just jumped up from her chair and ran towards Cameron. But as soon as she did, he used the gun he was holding to strike her temple, sending her to the floor with a crushing blow to the head. And just as she hit the cold kitchen tile, she used her blurry, fading vision to glance up and see Kip rush Cameron as well. Only this time, the Irishman didn't use his gun. Instead he used the knife that he was going to use to kill Abel and plunged it into the prospect's stomach.

Gracie barely registered the groan that escaped from Kip's lips, Tara's screams, or Abel's cries, as the darkness overtaking her mind started to grow. But just before she passed out she saw Kip, her little brother and cherished friend, fall down right beside of her; his always warm, playful eyes now lifeless, staring at her and yet, staring at nothing.

Gracie thinks she started to cry, but before she could know for sure, the light inside her faded and everything finally went black.

* * *

The 10 minutes that it took to ride back to Charming were the longest of Juice's life. He knew from the moment that Jax hung up the phone and said something was wrong with Tara that Gracie would be with her and that she would be in trouble too. So Juice and Jax, backed up by Chibs and Opie, rode as fast as they could away from Zobelle and the rest of Samcro and back to Jax's house.

Juice tried to steel himself for whatever was coming, tried to ready himself for anything, but no matter how much he tried, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw when he and the rest of the guys stormed into that kitchen.

It was just like his nightmare. There was his Gracie, his life and his purpose, lying in a pool of blood; her clothes soaked through, her beautiful white skin stained red, her hair matted in crimson. He stopped breathing, and was certain his heart stopped beating, as he dropped to his knees beside her. "Gracie! Gracie! Jesus, sweetheart, please. Oh god, no…no…"

Tears were already streaming down his cheeks when he reached out and grabbed her face with his hands, and it was only then that he somehow registered through his grief that she was still breathing. "Oh my god. Gracie! Can you hear me? Gracie, wake up sweetheart. Please, please…"

Juice felt the life flooding back into him when he saw Gracie's eyes start to flutter open as she softly whimpered in pain. He watched as she slowly opened her eyes and stared at him hazily for just a moment before terror filled her gaze and she quickly turned her head to the side and started sobbing. It was only then that Juice realized that Half-Sack was lying dead right beside her.

He watched, helpless and heartbroken, as Gracie crawled to her knees, slipping slightly in all the blood, and used her red hands to push a grieving Chibs away from the prospect. She reached out and gently lifted Kip's head, cradling it in her lap. Then she started rocking back and forth, running her hand through his hair, quietly whispering to him as her tears fell all over Kip's colorless face. "Shhh. It's ok, sweetie. Everything's ok. Everything's going to be alright, now."

Juice tried to pull her away, but after she screamed and slapped him away, he and Chibs just sat there, unable to move, as they silently watched their Gracie, obviously in shock, mourn for her friend and their brother. But after a moment, the horrible quiet was finally broken when Jax and Tara rushed into the kitchen and said the words that would turn all of their worlds upside down...

"Abel's gone."

**Please review…**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hi everyone. So, I know the last chapter was really sad, and unfortunately, this one isn't a whole lot happier. I hate that this point of the story is so heartbreaking, considering all the heartbreaking things that have happened in the world the last few days. It's kind of crappy timing :( But I promise things will soon start to turn around for Juice and his girl. In the mean time, thank you all for reading and for the joy that you all give me every time I get a response telling me you like my story. It means so very much to me, and I am incredibly grateful.**

**So here it is; the official beginning of season 3. I truly hope you enjoy it, and as always, please review…**

Chapter 36

Gracie sat on the couch beside Tara, aware that her entire body was trembling, but unable to do anything about it. It was like a blast of cold was spreading inside of her, freezing her veins and numbing her senses, until she could barely feel anything. She stared down at the hands she was rubbing together in a pointless attempt to get warm, only to get even colder when she noticed that they were still covered in dried blood.

"Grace? Grace, did you hear me?"

The voice sounded like it was a million miles away, but when Gracie looked up she realized that it was coming from David Hale, who was kneeling right in front of her.

She looked at him, confused. "I'm sorry. What?"

Hale gave her a soft smile. "I asked you if you were alright. Do you need me to drive you to the hospital?"

Gracie just shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I just want to go home."

She glanced up at Tara, who hadn't stopped crying since the moment Jax untied her from that chair. "Knowles, do you want to come home with me?"

Tara just shook her head and used the back of her hand to try and wipe away some of her tears. "No, I should stay here. I need to be here when Jax gets home, when he brings Abel back home."

Gracie just nodded. As soon as Jax told them Abel was missing, all the guys left to find him, including Juice who only agreed to go after Gracie promised him that she was alright and that she would wait there for him to come back. But after hours of being questioned by the police, all Gracie wanted to do was go home, take a shower, and crawl into her bed. She had no idea how much longer Juice would be, but she couldn't stay in Tara's house another minute.

Gracie looked back up at Hale. "David, do you think you could give me a ride to my apartment?"

Hale stood up from where he was kneeling and patted her on the shoulder. "Of course. Come on, Grace."

Gracie leaned over and kissed Tara on the cheek before heading for the front door. But before she made it outside, she made the mistake of turning her head and glancing into the kitchen. She saw the blood coating the floor and the outline of where Kip's body had been laying a few hours earlier, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with sickness. She raised her hand up to her mouth and ran as fast as she could for the front door. "Oh god…"

Gracie reached the grass just in time as she fell to her knees and vomited all over the front yard. It seemed to go on forever, and at some point she felt Hale behind her, holding back her hair and comfortingly rubbing her back. When she finally had nothing left, she felt David gently pull her up from the ground and guide her to his police car. "It's ok, Grace. Let's get you home."

Gracie could only nod, her voice once again drowned out by her tears.

* * *

Juice pulled up in front of the weed shop and turned off the engine, hesitating for a moment before slowly stepping off of his bike. He hated the thought of climbing the stairs, opening the door, and having to tell Gracie that they didn't find Abel. They had used every resource, every angle, every lead they could find, but as they ran down the pier at the docks and watched Cameron Hayes drive that boat away, they were lost. Abel was really gone.

Juice closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to get the sound of Jax's agonizing screams out of his head. He had never seen his brother in so much pain, so terrified, and it hurt like hell. Once they realized that they weren't going to be bringing the baby home that night, Opie and Juice rode back with Jax to his house. Jax immediately grabbed a bottle of whiskey and went to Abel's nursery, ignoring Tara and everyone else. Juice went looking for Gracie, but the deputy still stationed at the house told him that Hale had given her a ride home about 20 minutes earlier.

He walked into their apartment, locking the door behind him, before taking off his boots and hanging up his kutte. Then he put his phone, keys, K-bar, and holster on the kitchen table before going to find his girl.

"Gracie? Sweetheart?" As he walked closer, he heard water running and realized that she must be in the shower. He went to the bathroom door and knocked softly, but when he didn't get a response he slowly opened the door and stepped inside. "Gracie, are you…"

Juice's voice caught in his throat when he caught sight of her. Gracie was sitting on the floor of their shower, her back resting against the tiles with her legs drawn up to her chest, hugging herself tightly. Her skin was scorched red from the heat, and despite the water falling over her naked body, Juice could see that she was still crying. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he slowly approached her. "Oh, sweetheart…"

Gracie's vacant eyes glanced up at him sadly, her voice strained with tears. "Did you find him?"

When he shook his head, tears stung his eyes. He didn't think it was possible for her to look even more devastated. Gracie didn't say anything else. She just lowered her head to her knees as a fresh burst of sobs erupted from her body.

He had no idea what to say. Nothing would comfort her. Nothing would make this better. So he did the only thing he could think of. Without another word, he stepped into the shower, still fully clothed, and sat down next to Gracie, wrapping his arms around her bare shoulders and pulling her close. She turned into him, burying her face against his neck and clinging for dear life onto the soaked cotton of his t-shirt. And there they stayed, holding each other, until the water finally ran cold.

* * *

Two days later Gracie was on the back of Juice's bike, on her way back to Tara's house for the first time since the night of the kidnapping. The morning after Kip's death, Gracie started to snap out of the trance she'd been in since it happened and realized that she now had a job to do. With Gemma on the run for a murder she didn't commit and Tara and the guys out of their mind with worry about Abel, it fell on her to take care of Kip's funeral arrangements. Sadly, she already knew which funeral home to call and who to contact at the cemetery. _First Donna, then Luann, now Kip. Jesus Christ, this is the third funeral I've helped plan in less than a year. _She called Piney who helped with the details since she knew a lot more would go into it all since Kip was a member, or at least was being made one posthumously by Clay. Then she called the local veteran's organization to let them know that Kip had passed away so that they could give him military honors, and she silently wondered who would receive the folded American flag that would be draped over his coffin, just like the one sitting in her closet that she was given after her father's 21-gun salute.

So now here she was, walking hand in hand with Juice along with the rest of Samcro, up to Jax's house because, for the first time in almost 48 hours, they finally had a knew lead on Cameron and Abel.

As soon as she got into the house, she wrapped her arms tightly around Tara. She didn't bother asking her best friend how she was doing. It was obvious that she was a total mess. So she just pulled back slightly and squeezed her hands. "I love you, Knowles."

Tara tried her best to force a small smile. "Love you too, Gracie Jane."

As the guys went to go find Jax, Gracie and Tara sat down at the kitchen table. "So, how is he?"

Tara just shook her head. "I don't know what to do, Gracie. He won't talk to me, to anyone. He just sits in the nursery for hours, drunk and stoned out of his mind. I want to help him but I think…I think he blames me."

Gracie reached across the table and held Tara's trembling hands. "That can't be true."

Gracie watched as Tara bit her lip and looked up to the ceiling, regret filling her gaze. "I just keep reliving it over and over again, and thinking that maybe if I gotten up when you did, maybe if I ran after him, maybe…"

"Tara, stop it. Stop it right now. There is nothing you could have done to keep Cameron from walking out of here with Abel. If you would have tried, the only thing that would have happened is that I would be burying two friends instead of just one. And Jax knows that, too. You didn't do anything wrong. It just happened."

Tara nodded just as some of the guys walked back into the kitchen. Bobby walked over to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee before looking at Tara and offering her a small smile. "We got him up, Doc. Opie's getting him in the shower and then when he's ready, we're gonna go get Abel."

Everyone hung around the house for a while until Jax was dressed and sobered up enough to ride. Juice stood behind her chair, his hands resting comfortingly on her shoulders, while Chibs sat beside her at the table, holding her hand. When she felt him squeeze it a little tighter, Gracie looked up warmly at her Scotsman. She saw the dark circles and bags around his reddened eyes and knew that, next to her, Chibs was taking Kip's death the hardest. He was the prospect's sponsor, his boxing coach, and most importantly, his friend. He was suffering almost as much as she was.

Gracie leaned her head over to him and whispered. "I love you, Chibs. And he loved you, too."

Gracie watched as Chibs closed his eyes and nodded before looking down at his lap. "I know, sweet girl. I know."

A few minutes later, Jax and the rest of the guys were ready to go, but before they left, Clay gave Tara and Gracie some instruction on what to say and what not to say to the feds when they were questioned later that afternoon.

Before walking out of the house, Juice pulled Gracie close and kissed her softly. "I'll call you as soon as I can, and if I'm not back in time, call Piney to take you to the funeral home. I don't want you going alone."

Gracie nodded. Tonight was Kip's wake followed by his burial at the graveside the next morning. "I won't go alone. I promise." She looked up into his eyes one more time then leaned forward to kiss him once more. "Please be careful."

Juice just pulled her in close, hugging her tightly to his body and burying his face in her hair. "Always."

Tara and Gracie stood on the porch together, hand in hand, and watched the club ride away. They waited there until the last bike faded from their view and the rumble of the engines could no longer be heard before turning to walk back into the house.

But before they made it inside, Gracie looked over at Tara and saw the broken, defeated expression on her face. She squeezed her best friends hand and tried to smile, her voice quiet but sincere. "It's still you and me against the world, Knowles."

Tara didn't even look at her. She just shook her head and sighed. "I think the world is winning."

* * *

Gracie stood by Kip's casket, smoothing down the material of her simple gray cap sleeved dress, as she tried to stop her tears from falling. She used one hand to wipe her cheeks as Juice comfortingly squeezed the one that he was holding. She looked up into his eyes, so sad yet so loving, and gave him a small nod of thanks. Ever since he got back that afternoon from searching for Abel, he hadn't left her side. Apparently, they still weren't able to find Cameron, but they were at least getting some promising leads.

Gracie looked up as Jax, Tara, and Clay walked into the small room. They all took turns embracing one another, with Gracie momentarily stunned when Clay wrapped her up in a tight hug. "You did a real nice job, sweetheart. You're a good girl."

Gracie just nodded as Clay pulled away and went to stand with Jax and Juice. Tara stared at Kip's coffin for a moment, covered in black and draped with his kutte, and she slowly started to tremble. She looked back at Gracie and reached out her hand, and Gracie wordlessly went to her, holding her hand and kneeling with her in front of the casket, staying with her as she wept and whispered quiet prayers.

A couple of hours later, everyone was out on the lawn of the funeral home. They were all saying their goodbyes and heading home to get a good night's sleep, getting ready for Kip's burial in the morning and then another full day of searching for Abel. But just as they stepped onto the sidewalk and started walking towards the bikes, a black van came barreling down the street out of nowhere and, without warning, barraged the crowd with a hail of gunfire.

Gracie didn't even have time to scream before Juice was on top of her, pulling her to the ground and covering her with his body. She was unable to move, his full weight on top of her stilling her movements with the leather of his kutte blocking her view. But after what seemed like an eternity, the sound of gunshots finally ceased and was quickly replaced by horrifying screams.

Juice pulled her up from the ground and both of them quickly examined each other, making sure they were fine, before they looked at the devastation around them. David Hale, an honorable, brave man who had been so kind to her just a few days before, was lying dead in the street, and several other people seemed to have minor gunshot wounds. But the most tragic sight of all was a young boy who couldn't have been much older than Kenny Winston, shot dead and being cradled in the arms of his grieving mother.

Gracie didn't say anything; not when Jax started to beat one of the shooters, not when everyone started screaming for him to stop, not when Juice stood in front of her and asked if she was alright. She just stood there silently, drowning in the same cold numbness that she had come so close to escaping, lost in the waves of her grief.

* * *

Gracie didn't remember the ride home, but before she knew it Juice was guiding her back into their apartment. She vaguely recalls hearing his voice, pleading with her to speak, to tell him that she was alright, but she never said a word. _Because what is there to say? One of my best friends was murdered right in front of me. A baby I love like my nephew was kidnapped by a madman. And I just watched an innocent child be gunned down in front of his mother. What could I possibly have to say?_

She went through the motions, stripping off her clothes and taking a quick shower, before pulling on one of Juice's t-shirts and climbing into bed. A few moments later, she felt him lay beside her and it was only then, with his arm holding her close, his lips moving against her neck whispering how much he loved her, that she started to come out of the shock she'd been in, aware once again that she was alive, safe, and home with the man she loved more than anything.

She didn't even realize she'd started crying until Juice reached out his fingers and wiped a tear off her cheek. She turned on her side to look at him and sighed when she saw the same scared helplessness that she was feeling written all over his beautiful face.

Gracie reached out and caressed his cheek before swallowing the lump in her throat and mustering up the courage she needed to say the words that she felt absolutely compelled to say.

Her voice was quiet but resolved. "First, before I say anything else, I love you."

Juice bit his lip and nodded. "I love you too."

She took one more deep breath before continuing. "You told me when we first got together that the club didn't hurt innocents; women or kids…"

Juice shook his head. "Gracie, we didn't…"

Gracie shut her eyes and shook her head, silencing him. "You didn't kill that little boy tonight, you didn't kill David Hale, you didn't kill Kip, and you didn't kill Donna Winston. But you can't tell me that all of them aren't dead because of something that Samcro was involved in."

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out, because as much as it hurt to admit it, she was right.

Juice took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the nerves racking his body, before he spoke. "What are you saying, Gracie? Are you…are you done with me?"

Gracie just sighed. "No. No, of course not. I'm just…I'm just saying…Listen, I told you in the beginning that I wouldn't try to change you, that I would never try to pull you away from the club, and I meant it, but…"

Her tears fell harder as she tried to think of the right way to express the burden on her heart. "I understand why you love the club. You're a family, and you live by a code, on no one else's terms but your own. I get all that, but…but the brotherhood, and the freedom, and the lifestyle…can't you find a way to have all that without all the violence? Without all the death?"

Gracie didn't say anything else. She just leaned forward and kissed him softly before rolling over on her other side and closing her eyes, willing her body to sleep.

After several minutes of staring silently at the auburn hair fanned out on her pillow, Juice heard Gracie's breath even out, signaling that his exhausted, heartbroken girl had finally fallen asleep. He leaned over and kissed the back of her head before lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. And as he replayed every tragic event that had befallen his family and friends since the moment be joined the club, he couldn't help but ask himself a question that he'd always sworn that he would never need to ask…_Is it worth it?_

* * *

Juice woke up the next morning to the sound of Gracie's alarm clock. In light of the events the previous night, the club had decided to have a small, short gathering at the cemetery for the prospect as early as possible so that they could immediately work on retaliation against whoever attacked them. He looked over and couldn't help but smile at Gracie as she yawned widely and stretched her arms out like a cat, like she always did when she was still tired in the morning.

"Good morning, sweetheart." He reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently.

He felt her squeeze his in response as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Morning, baby."

She threw the covers off her body and started to raise up from the bed, but Juice pulled her back down so that she was facing him. He tried his best but knew he couldn't hide the nervousness in his voice. "Hey…are we ok?"

He sighed in relief when Gracie looked at him, her eyes still filled with the love he was so addicted to seeing there. She reached out and placed her hands on his cheeks, cradling his face. "Of course we're ok. We'll always be ok. I love you." Then she leaned forward and kissed him.

Juice lost himself in the taste of her lips, the touch of her hands against his skin, and the smell of her hair filling the air around them. And as he felt himself fall in love with her all over again, just like every time he did when she kissed him like that, a calm determination flowed through him as he realized what he had to do. _I'm going to fix this. I'm going to make things right. I don't know how, but I'm going to stop all the heartache and loss that I know is slowly destroying her._ _Because I could survive just about anything in this world, but I wouldn't last a day without Gracie._

* * *

Juice's day had been crazy. After Half-Sack's burial, he dropped Gracie off at TM where she was helping out in the office while Gemma was on the run. From there, he and his brothers went to Charming PD to pick up Jax, where he had been since he almost beat that fucker to death the night before. Then they all went to St. Thomas and, with Chucky's help, got to the shooter's room and saw that he was Calaveras, which meant that, much to all of their disbelief, the attack at the funeral home had been initiation for the Calaveras crew to join the Mayans.

From there, things got even more out of control. They went to Lodi and met with T.O. and the rest of the Grim Bastards, who gave them the intel they needed on Hector Salazar. Then they went to talk to a bounty hunter who agreed to help them track down Abel, but only after they ran down one of his bounties. After that, they rolled up on Salazar, nearly killing him, but at the last minute decided to spare him as a negotiating tactic with Alvarez.

By the time they got back to the clubhouse late that night, Gracie was already back at the apartment. She had texted him a few hours earlier saying that Piney was giving her a ride home and that she was going back to work tomorrow, since the hospital had called and told her that, for some reason, the ethics case against she and Tara had been dropped.

He was just opening up his computer to see if he could hack into any more databases, when he saw that he had a new email from the bounty hunter. And as soon as he opened it, a huge smile crossed his face. He hit the print button and ran to the printer, thinking how relieved he was that something in this shit storm of a day had finally worked out.

* * *

Juice looked on with the rest of his brothers and smiled when Jax saw the print out of the photo showing Cameron and Abel in Vancouver. It was finally proof that the baby was alive, and it gave them all back the hope that they had been so desperately missing.

A few minutes later, Juice was sitting at one of the tables watching his brothers have a celebratory drink at the bar. He was smoking a cigarette, staring down at his untouched whiskey, when he saw Jax walking towards him. "Hey Juicey."

Juice nodded to his VP as he pulled over a chair and sat down beside him. "Hey man. I'm happy for you. I knew Abel would be ok. And we're gonna find him."

Jax lit his cigarette and took a long slow drag, nodding with a small grin on his face. "I know we will. Thanks, bro." Jax leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his messy blond hair. "So, you want to tell me what's wrong with you?"

Juice shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing. I'm fine."

Jax just shook his head. "Come on, man. I can see it all over your face. You look fucking miserable."

Juice blew a cloud of smoke up to the ceiling and sighed. "It's just Gracie, man. We're going through some shit."

Jax just grinned. "Well, if something's wrong, I'm assuming it's you. Your girl's a fucking angel."

Juice couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, that's basically true. It's just…" Juice leaned in closer to the table, waiting for Jax to do the same, before quietly speaking. "Gracie's at the end of her rope, you know. She loves me, loves the club, but all the shit that's gone down? Donna, Sack, me and Chibs getting hurt, Abel? She's so fucking strong, but it's killing her, brother. She asked me last night if there was a way to have the club without all the death. It broke my heart, but I didn't know what to tell her, because I honestly don't know the answer."

Juice furrowed his brow as Jax leaned back and stared at him silently for a few long seconds, looking as though he was trying to decide something important, before finally nodding. Then Jax crushed his smoke in the ashtray, stood up, and started walking towards the door. "Follow me."

Juice walked outside and climbed on his bike, following his brother until he was parked in front of Jax and Tara's house. When they went inside, Jax told him to sit down at the kitchen table, where he waited for just a couple of minutes until Jax returned, placing a large leather binder down on the table in front of him.

Juice looked up at Jax in confusion. "What is this?"

Jax just patted Juice on the shoulder. "The answer, brother. I think it's the answer."

Juice looked at Jax a moment longer before flipping open the binder and reading the first words on the page…

_The Life and Death of Sam Crow_

_How the Sons of Anarchy Lost their Way_

_By John Thomas Teller_

**Please review!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hi Everyone! I'm so sorry it took so long to post. The last few weeks have been crazy. Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. Juice and Gracie now have 300 followers! Yay!**

**So here we go a little further into Season Three. I've been looking forward to writing this one for a while. Hope you like it and please, please review!**

**P.S. The next update after this one will be the Christmas chapter that some of you have requested :)**

Chapter 37

Gracie had just finished her second shift at the hospital since her suspension had been lifted, and even though she was thrilled to have her job back, the weight of the club and everything it was going through still hung heavy on her shoulders. The long hours at work helped to keep her mind off Kip and Abel, but with Gemma still on the run and Tara now out of town helping her, Gracie spent 99% of her time worrying about the people she loved.

The only bright spot in the past few days had been Juice waking her up a few nights ago and telling her all about John Teller's manuscript and Jax's vision for the club. Gracie smiled when she thought about the look on Juice's face as he told her about guiding the club to more legitimate ways to earn and stopping all the senseless bloodshed. He looked focused, determined, but more than anything, he looked hopeful. It wouldn't be easy and it would take time, but Juice was certain that change was possible.

Gracie pulled into the TM lot, climbed out of her car, and walked towards the clubhouse. Juice had texted her a couple hours before asking her to head there after work. Apparently all the guys had gotten into some sort of brawl at a party with the Chinese, and they were all cooling off at the bar. Before she opened the door, she ran a hand through her messy hair and tried pointlessly to smooth down her wrinkled scrubs. _It's a lost cause, Anderson. You've been working for 12 hours and you're a hot mess. But Juice loves you anyway._

When she walked inside she saw most of the guys sitting around the bar, with Lyla and Opie in the corner in the middle of what looked to be a pretty serious conversation. She waved hello to everyone, getting a kiss on the cheek from Chibs, before sitting down at one of the bar stools next to Jax.

When he saw her, he looked over and offered her a sad smile. "Hey, darlin. Juice is in the chapel working. He shouldn't be much longer. How are you doing?"

Gracie shook her head and grinned. No matter how much shit Jax was going through, he never stopped being worried about other people. _Our real life 'bad boy with a heart of gold.'_ "I'm ok…at least getting better. Any new leads on Abel?"

Jax took a long drag off his cigarette and sighed. "No, not since the picture of him in Vancouver. That's what Juice is working on right now." He put his cigarette out in an empty beer bottle and turned to look at her. "So…have you talked to her?"

Gracie nodded. She knew that Jax had done everything he could to push Tara away since Abel's kidnapping, and she knew how much it was tearing both of them apart. "She's good. I know you didn't want her anywhere near Gemma right now, and I understand why, but I think it's helping her through this. Making her feel like she's contributing somehow. You haven't exactly been letting her be there for you. To her, being there for Gemma is the next best thing."

Jax ran his hands down the sides of his face in frustration. "You get it though, don't you Gracie? You of all people? This life, _my life_, it isn't right for her. It's going to destroy her."

Gracie placed one of her hands on his knee and squeezed. "I get it. I do. But you can't just walk away from something like what the two of you have. She's a part of you, and you're a part of her. The only thing that could ever destroy Tara is losing you."

Jax was just about to say something else when a tall, skinny bleach blonde wearing next to nothing placed herself in front of Jax, completely ignoring Grace. The girl reached out and ran one of her fingers over his jaw line. "Hey Jax. Want to give me a ride home?"

Gracie cleared her throat, causing the blonde to turn around and give her a dirty look. "Can I help you, bitch?"

Gracie just crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. "You're Ima, right? I'm Grace. And no, you can't help me. I was just going to tell you that Jax isn't able to give you a ride tonight." Then Gracie turned and looked pointedly at Jax. "His girlfriend wouldn't like it."

The girl leaned in closer to Gracie and poked one of her long fake fingernails at her chest. "Listen, honey. I know you think you're some kind of old lady, but I also know that Juice hasn't given you a fucking crow. So why don't you let Jax decide what he wants and take your ugly, little bitch ass…Hey! What the…ah, ow! Ouch! Stop it!"

Gracie's jaw dropped open as she watched Happy come up behind Ima in the middle of her rant and grab her by the hair, pulling her hard off the bar stool and dragging her towards the door. The blonde barely stayed on her feet, screaming the whole time, until Hap reached the door, opened it, and literally threw her out on her ass.

Everyone in the bar looked on with wide eyes as Happy nonchalantly walked back to the bar, poured himself a shot of whiskey, and downed it in one gulp. When he noticed that everyone was staring at him, he just shrugged his shoulders. "Stupid gash. She shouldn't talk to Gracie like that."

Gracie made eye contact with him and, for just a split second, she saw the corners of his mouth barely raise in a smile. Then he turned back around and walked over to the pool table without another word.

Jax couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his lips as he looked at his favorite redhead's stunned expression. _Happy Lowman getting involved in bitch business? Our sweet Gracie has the Tacoma Killer wrapped around her little finger, and she doesn't even know it._

* * *

Despite all the drama with the Chinese, the Mayans, Abel, and Gemma, Juice had felt amazing all god damn day. Ever since learning about Jax's plan to change the club and his talk with Gracie, he had felt something welling up deep inside him, something that he had suppressed for a really long time…faith. He had faith that Jax could save the club from the direction that Clay had been taking them in, faith that he could help his brothers make the right decisions, and most of all, faith that Gracie would be right beside of him through all of it. He was finally letting himself believe that he could give her a real future and that they could share a real life together.

And that's why he called Lowen as soon as Gracie left for work that morning to help him with something that had been on his mind for months. He would have wanted Gemma's help, but since she was still on the run, the club's lawyer would have to do. He knew that their court date had been moved up and they were going to lose their bail, so he wanted to take care of it as soon as possible before he went inside for god knows how long. He just hoped that Gracie would like it…

He was just about to call Lowen again to check on the progress when he looked down and saw that he had received a new email from Sambel. As soon as he opened it, his hands started to shake and his heart started racing. He jumped up out of his seat, grabbing his laptop, and racing out of the chapel and over towards the bar. He saw Gracie sitting beside Jax and walked over to them, setting him computer down on the bar.

Jax looked over to him in panic. "What? What is it?"

Juice looked at Gracie for just a moment before looking back to Jax. "I just got this from the Belfast VP. It was taken tonight."

Gracie gasped when she saw the picture filling the small screen. Cameron Hayes was lying dead on a street corner with a big, bloody cross marking his head.

Jax looked at Juice in confusion. "Cameron's in Belfast?"

Juice just nodded before looking back at the photo. "So, where the hell is Abel?"

* * *

As Gracie sat in the nurse's station working on her charts, she ran her hands down her exhausted face and sighed. The last two days had been utterly insane. The guys left for what should have been their trip to Vancouver but, as what typically happens, everything went to hell. From what Juice had told her, it started out as their usual gun run to the north, with plans to pick up Gemma from her dad's house and then head to the Canadian border. But at some point plans changed; something about Bobby, Hap, and Piney being attacked at some woman's house over a bunch of prescription drugs, and then Gemma sneaking away from the guys and heading back to Charming. It all culminated with Gem having a small cardiac episode on the TM lot, not only landing her in the hospital, but in federal custody.

Gracie signed off on her last chart and told her manager that she was taking her 15 minute break, running upstairs to the observation unit as fast as she could. She hadn't had a chance to see Gemma or Tara yet since they'd been back, and she wanted to make sure they were alright. When she got up to the unit, she saw the whole club, minus Jax and Clay, sitting in the small waiting area.

Juice got out of his chair as soon as he saw her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and crushing her to him. He had only gotten to see her for a few minutes that morning before she had to go to work. He buried his face in her hair and took a deep breath in before finally pulling back just enough to see her face. "Hey, sweetheart."

Gracie looked up into his eyes and grinned, placing both of her hands on either side of his face. "Hey, yourself." She looked around at the guys, all obviously stressed out and worried, before looking back to Juice. "How is she?"

Juice looked towards the room at the end of the hall and shrugged. "Ok, I guess. Clay said her heart is beating regularly now. I guess she hadn't been taking her meds. But she finally knows about Abel and is currently handcuffed to the bed, so I wouldn't say she's doing very well."

"Do you think I could see her? I've missed her so much."

Juice shook his head. "Not right now. Clay and Jax are in there with her, Tara too." He looked around for a moment and saw that the nearby hallway was empty before grabbing Gracie's hand and pulling her away from the others. "Come on. I need to talk to you about some stuff."

When they were alone, Juice looked around one more time before leaning in closer to whisper. "Abel's in Belfast."

Gracie's eyes widened. "Are you sure? How do you know? Is he ok?"

He just nodded. "We think he's ok. Some woman that Gemma knows in Ireland called her and told her that Cameron took the baby to Belfast; that he was alive, but that we needed to come and get him before something bad happened."

Juice saw the stunned expression on her face as she tried to process everything she'd just heard. He hated to add to the shit she was already dealing with, but he needed to tell her more. "Listen, Gracie Jane. There's something else…the club is tapped. We need to get some quick cash to fund our way to Ireland, and we have a way but I don't think you're going to like it." He sighed when he saw her big green eyes, filled with worry and confusion, staring up at him. "When we were up north, we came into possession of some prescription meds; some of it can't be moved on the street, but there was some Adderall, steroids, and some other shit that can make us some decent money if we move it." He grabbed her hands and held them in his own as he stared down at the floor, too afraid to look at her. "I know I told you that we don't see drugs. I know you hate it. But we need to do this, Gracie. I know a dealer, the same guy that I used to get my stash from when I still used, before we were together. We're going to see him today. I just…I wanted to be honest with you."

Gracie took a deep breath before letting go of Juice's hands and moving them to lace around the back of his neck. She kissed him softly on the lips and nodded. "You're right. I hate it. I hate that you have to do that. But I understand that it's for Abel. Thank you for telling me and just…promise me you'll be careful."

Juice just gave her a small smile before leaning down and kissing her again. "Always, sweetheart."

* * *

Several hours later, Gracie was shutting the door on her locker, slinging her purse over her shoulder, and heading back upstairs. The ER had gotten really busy later in the day, and she hadn't had another chance to see Gemma. But now that her shift was over, she was going to try to spend some time with her before visiting hours were up.

She was just walking to the elevators when she saw Clay rounding the corner and she gasped when she saw who was beside him. "Oh my god. Baby, are you alright?"

Juice's head hung low as he walked beside his President, bracing his arm against his side as if every step was causing him pain. When she spoke, he only looked up for a moment before returning his gaze to the ground, but it was long enough for her to see the black eye, swollen cheeks, and bleeding lips that marred his face.

Gracie went to stand in front of him and gently lifted his head with her hands. Her voice was just a whisper. "Baby, what happened to you?"

Juice was looking anywhere but at Gracie. He was too ashamed to face her, too pissed at himself to accept her comfort. _I don't fucking deserve it._

Clay patted him on the back and looked up at Grace. "Hey doll. Do you think you can patch up your old man for me?"

Gracie glanced up quickly at Clay and nodded before returning her eyes to Juice. "Yeah, of course." She grabbed one of Juice's hands, lacing her fingers between his own, and pulled him down the hallway until she found an empty exam room. She motioned for him to sit down on the table while she went through the cabinet drawers and found some bandages, iodine, tape, and a suture kit.

She kept waiting for him to say something, anything, to just look at her and let her know that he was ok. But he just sat there silently; looking down at nothing and never saying a word.

Once Gracie had opened up all her supplies she stood in front of him, in between his legs, and placed her hands on the sides of his face. As she tried to guide his head up he tried to turn away, grasping her wrists to pull them back down. But as soon as she felt him start to pull her away, she held on tighter, leaning her face down until he was forced to look into her eyes. "Hey. Hey, don't do that. Juice, it's me. Come on. There's no one else here. It's just me. Look at me, please."

Juice hated himself even more when he heard the sweet concern in her voice, but he slowly raised his head and forced himself to stare into her pretty green eyes. She offered him a small, comforting smile before leaning forward and brushing her lips ever so gently against his. "I love you, Juan Carlos."

Juice nodded and leaned into Gracie's hand as it ran down his mohawk and to the back of his neck. "I love you too, sweetheart."

For the next several minutes, neither of them said anything else. Gracie just cleaned his cuts, bandaging the ones on his cheeks and putting a couple small stitches on his forehead. She unzipped his hoodie and lifted up his t-shirt, sighing when she saw his bruised and swollen ribcage. He had obviously been on the losing side of a fight. She taped up his ribs as best she could and then pulled his shirt back down.

When she was finished she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him again. "Tell me what happened…please."

After a moment, he reluctantly nodded. "The guy that I told you about? The dealer? Turns out I shouldn't have trusted him. I went to his van by myself, like a fucking idiot, to give him the drugs, and as soon as I did I got jumped."

Gracie tried to control the tremble in her voice as she thought about what he went through. "Jesus baby. Who were they?"

Juice just shook his head. "Some Mayan-wannabe fuckers out of Lodi that have beef with the club. There wasn't anything I could do, Gracie. They were on top of me before I could even blink. There was nothing I could do."

"Of course there wasn't." Gracie tried to pull him into a hug, but Juice backed away from her, pulling her arms down and shaking his head.

"Gracie, you don't understand. They took my kutte. I let them take my fucking kutte."

She looked at him in confusion, shaking her head. "That's why you're so upset? It's ok, baby. It's just a…"

"No, Gracie! You don't understand!" Juice cringed when he saw Gracie take a step away from him when he all but roared at her. He took a deep breath before he spoke again, trying to calm his voice. "You don't understand, Gracie Jane. My kutte is the symbol of my brotherhood to the world. It's who I am and it should never come off my back. I should have died before I let them take it."

Gracie crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes filled with a mix of hurt and confusion. "You mean that, don't you?"

Juice looked up at her and nodded. "Yeah, I do. I should have made them kill me for it."

Juice stared down at the floor for a few moments, and when he raised his head back up he saw that the warmth and worry were gone from Gracie's expression, replaced by heartache and anger. When he saw a single tear escape down her cheek, he reached out to touch her face, but as soon as he made contact, Gracie brushed his hand away.

"Gracie Jane?" He hopped off the exam table and tried to approach her, but for the first time in their relationship, Gracie shoved her hands against his chest and pushed him away as hard as she could. He took a few steps back and regained his balance, staring at her in shock. "Gracie?"

She just shook her head as more tears continued to fall. "No, you don't get to touch me right now." She met his gaze for just only a second before turning around and walking to the door. "I can't even look at you."

_What the fuck just happened?_ Juice stood alone in the exam room, frozen, trying to process what had just gone down. No matter what they had fought about in the past, Gracie had never been that upset, that completely and utterly pissed. But once the shock started to wear off, he willed his feet to move and raced out into the hallway to find his girl.

He looked up and down the hall before going to the front entrance. He walked outside just in time to see Gracie's Mustang peeling out of the lot and onto the street.

Juice ran to the parking lot as fast as he could and climbed on his bike, not giving a fuck about how bad his body was hurting. He raced to his apartment and pulled up just in time to see Gracie climb the stairs to their place and walk in, slamming the door behind her.

He parked his bike and took off his helmet, taking the stairs two steps at a time until he got to the door. He walked through the small kitchen and to the living room where he saw Gracie pacing in front of the TV. "Gracie, what the hell…" But he couldn't finish his sentence, his voice catching in his throat when he saw the angry tears flowing out of Gracie's eyes.

"So you wish they would have killed you? OVER A FUCKING KUTTE?" She took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but she had been hysterical ever since leaving the hospital. Something inside her had snapped and she had lost all control over her emotions.

Juice didn't think that he could feel any worse that day, but the hurt that was written all over her face fucking gutted him. "Sweetheart, please…"

"Over a kutte, Juice? You should have _died_ so that some assholes didn't take the vest you were wearing?"

"Gracie, you don't understand…"

"You're god damn right I don't understand!" He watched as Gracie ran her hands over her face, trying to wipe the moisture from her cheeks. "You know, I had to live my entire life knowing that my Dad could have died every time he left on a mission. And no matter how hard that was, I was fine with it, because I knew that if he did, he was sacrificing his life for his country. He would have died for his freedom, for his rights, for his fellow soldiers, but I can promise you that he sure as hell wouldn't have died for his fucking uniform!"

Juice opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Gracie raised her hand up and shook her head. "No! I'm not finished yet." She took a few more breaths, swallowing the lump in her throat, before continuing. "Just like with my dad, I wake up every morning knowing that the person I love most in the world might die that day, because I know that you lead a dangerous life. Sometimes it's awful and it's terrifying, but I'm ok with it. I am, because I know that you do it because of a life that you believe in. On any given day you would step in front of a bullet to save the life of one of your brothers. And I get it! In fact, I more than get it. I'm fucking proud of you! But over a kutte, Juice? You think a replaceable piece of leather is worth more than your life?"

Juice stared helplessly at his girl, watching as she tried to compose herself in spite of her heartbreak. After a few seconds, she finally moved, walking towards him and grasping the sides of his face, anchoring it so that he was staring right into her eyes.

Gracie just looked at him for a few seconds before finally speaking, her voice once again quiet but raw from crying. "Juice, don't you understand? Don't you get it by now? I don't exist without you. My life is _nothing_ without you." Juice tried to blink away the moisture from his eyes as he felt her hands tremble against his face, her voice shaking with emotion. "I've lost so much, baby…so fucking much, but somehow I've always made it back. I've always survived. But losing you? I wouldn't make it. You are everything to me. So if you truly believe that you should have died before losing your kutte, you're not just saying that a piece of leather is worth more than your life. You're saying that it's worth more than mine…worth more than the life we have together. Don't you understand that?"

Gracie barely had time to take a breath before Juice crashed his lips down upon her. She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and held on as tightly as she could as he encircled his arms around her waist and crushed her against him. Their kisses were frantic and desperate, only parting long enough for Gracie's constant declarations of love and Juice's begging pleas for forgiveness. Before either of them knew what was happening they were on the living room floor, tearing each other's clothes off as fast as they could, aching for one another.

It wasn't about the sex. It wasn't about desire. It was about the connection. So when Juice sank into her, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, both of their hands intertwined, he took his time. They weren't trying to please each other or chasing a passionate end; they were just together. He tasted the salt of her tear stained lips every time they kissed, breathed in her scent when he buried his face in her hair, and let the sounds of her moans burn into his soul. And she savored the sweat forming on his beautiful skin, traced every curve of his muscles until she could map them by memory, and cried when she placed her lips against his neck and felt his pulse beating through his veins, proof that the love of her life was safe and alive in her arms.

Gracie came with a quiet shudder, her whimpers swallowed by Juice's kisses, and he fell over the edge just moments later. Neither was willing to move; Gracie still embracing him with her entire body, Juice still blissfully inside her.

After a few more minutes, Juice finally pulled back just enough to wipe a stray lock of hair away from Gracie's face. He leaned down and kissed her one more time, caressing her blushing cheek with his hand, and then smiled down at her softly, shaking his head. "Nothing. Nothing is more important than the life we have together. Nothing ever will be. Forever, Gracie Jane."

Gracie just nodded. "Forever, Juan Carlos."

**Please review…  
**


	38. Chapter 38

**Ok, this chapter ended up being so freaking huge that I had to break it up into two, which means that the Christmas update is actually a two parter! So here is the first section, my early Christmas present to you all. I will post the second part of the Christmas update probably in about 3 or 4 days, and it will be… **_**really special**_** :) Let's just say that it will be the chapter you've all been waiting for…**

**Also, this story now has over 200 favorites, which I find amazing and humbling and all around fantastic. Thank you! **

**And last but certainly not least, one of my readers told me her birthday was coming up. So to BeachBunnyLuvsU…Happy Birthday! And to everyone else, Merry Christmas!**

Chapter 38

Gracie tried to stifle her yawn as she looked at the clock in Jax and Tara's kitchen. It was well after midnight and Gracie was pouring herself another cup of coffee and turning on the kettle to make Tara another cup of herbal tea.

She turned back to the kitchen table and sighed when she saw the lost, broken look on her best friends face. Sitting down in the chair across from her, Gracie put the cup on the table, taking both of Tara's hands in her own and squeezing tightly. "You know he didn't mean it, right?"

Tara scoffed. "Gracie Jane, you didn't hear him. He's done with me. He said it's over."

Gracie just shook her head. "Knowles, Juice did the same thing to me. When things get too dangerous or complicated, they try to push us away. Gemma was right. We just have to be strong and love them through it."

"But the difference is you never did anything wrong. No matter what anyone tells me, I still believe that a part of Jax blames me for Abel. Maybe he hates me and just can't admit it to himself."

"Doc, I know Jax and I know he loves you. He doesn't hate you or blame you for Abel's kidnapping. He blames _himself_. He hates _himself._ He's just loss right now. But believe me. He will be even more lost without you."

Gracie stood up when the kettle started to whistle and poured a fresh mug before turning around and smiling. "Now, let's talk about something much more important." She placed the steaming cup on the kitchen table before sitting back down. "How are you feeling about the baby?"

Gracie couldn't suppress the smile that crossed her face. She was trying not to get too attached since Tara hadn't made a decision yet, but she couldn't help it. Tara was her sister and the thought of a little niece and nephew filled Gracie with happiness. She knew that Tara was conflicted about her pregnancy, but the thought of Tara having Jax's child just seemed so…right.

Tara sighed. "Gracie Jane, I know you're excited and I love you for it, but I honestly haven't decided what I'm going to do." She placed her hand on her stomach and looked down before raising her eyes to Gracie. "I mean, I've always dreamed of having a family with Jax, but he just broke up with me, and Abel is still gone, and what kind of mother would I be anyway?"

Gracie reached out and grabbed Tara's hand when she heard her voice start to crack and saw tears threatening to escape her eyes. "Knowles, you will be a _wonderful_ mother. You already are one to Abel. And regardless of what he said today, Jax adores you. He will love this baby more than you could ever imagine." Gracie squeezed her hand a little tighter and smiled. "And besides, even if he didn't, I think with you as a mom and me as an aunt, this kid is pretty damn lucky." Gracie watched Tara finally smile and nod before she continued. "I understand that you haven't decided whether or not to keep it, and whatever you decide I will be here for you. But just know if you decide you're going to have this baby, the two of you will never be alone. You and me against the world, Knowles."

Tara wiped a tear from her cheek before smiling. "Always, Gracie Jane."

* * *

Gracie woke up on Tara's couch and saw early morning sunshine filling the living room. She had texted Juice around one in the morning to tell him that she was going to stay with Tara until Jax got home. But as she looked at the empty hook on the wall where Jax always hung his kutte, it looked like he never made it back.

She was just standing up to stretch, pulling her t-shirt back down and running her hands through her tangled waves when Tara came storming out of the bedroom. "Come on Gracie. We're going to the clubhouse."

Gracie's sleepy eyes widened. "We are?"

Tara crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. "I'm not going to let him just run away. I'm going to talk to him and we're going to work this shit out."

Gracie grinned. "Now that's the girl I know and love. Let's go get him, Knowles."

Just a few minutes later, Gracie was looking out the window of the Cutlass as Tara sped through town and towards TM. A sad smile crossed her face as she noticed the garland, trees, and twinkling lights in the windows of the stores on Main Street. _God, with everything going on, I forgot it's almost Christmas._ Gracie had always loved Christmas. When she was a little girl, her family would always go back to the family farm in Georgia to celebrate with her grandmother, and then after her mom passed away, Christmas was spent on whatever base she was stationed at with her dad.

But ever since graduating from college and losing her father, Tara and Gracie had spent the holidays together, just the two of them. Every year they would put up a tiny artificial tree and fill their small downtown Chicago apartment with decorations, always hanging their two small stockings on the wall since they didn't have a fireplace. They both loved the Illinois winters since neither had a lot of experience with snow, and Chicago almost always provided a white Christmas. They always made sure they both had either Christmas day or Christmas eve off work so that they could exchange gifts, watch movies, and eat dinner together; a meal which included a delicious turkey prepared by Gracie and a dessert that was annually burned beyond recognition by Tara.

Gracie smiled as she remembered all their little traditions and how happy they had been, but her smile faded as she realized that this would be both her first and last Christmas with Juice, at least her last for a while. He had finally told her a few days before that their bail hearing had been rescheduled and that they would all probably be going inside sometime next week. He assumed that they would have just enough time to go to Belfast to get Abel before they were taken into custody. She still didn't know how long his sentence would be, but it didn't matter. She had decided long ago that no matter how long it took, she would always wait for Juan Carlos Ortiz.

Just a few minutes later, they finally pulled into the lot, both climbing out of the car and heading into the clubhouse. Tara walked straight back to the dorms, while Gracie went over to the bar and said hi to Lyla before seeing Juice walk out of the chapel.

As soon as she saw him, she walked in his direction, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly. "Hey baby. What are you doing here so early?"

Juice placed his hands on her hips and squeezed, worry filling his gorgeous brown eyes. "Hey, sweetheart. I was just about to call you. I'm glad you're here."

Gracie furrowed her brow and moved one of her hands to his cheek. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Juice took a deep breath and held her a little tighter. "Oswald's plane takes off at six tonight. We're leaving for Belfast today."

Gracie tried her best to blink away the moisture from her eyes as she quickly swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew that they would go get Abel as soon as they could, but she didn't think it would be today. _He's leaving. He's leaving, and as soon as he gets back he's going to prison._

Juice's heart started to ache as soon as he saw the pained expression on Gracie's face. He knew what she was thinking because he was thinking the exact same thing…they were out of time. He raised his hands to her face and cupped her jaw, kissing her sweetly before resting his forehead against hers. "Hey. You listen to me. Everything is going to be alright. We're only going to be gone about a week. We're going to go get Abel, bring him home safe, and we'll deal with whatever shit we have to when we get back. I promise Gracie Jane, it'll all be ok."

Gracie placed her hands on top of his and looked into his eyes. "I just…I just love you so much, Juice. I know it will all be alright. I believe you. I just thought we had more time."

Juice didn't say anything. He just pulled her close, crushing her against his chest as her arms circled his waist and held him tightly. They just stood there holding each other for a few more moments before Gracie looked over and saw a clearly devastated Tara storming out of the clubhouse.

"Knowles? Tara, wait!" Gracie pulled herself out of Juice's grasp and ran outside after Tara, grabbing her arm just before she climbed into the Cutlass. "Jesus, Tara. What happened?"

Gracie's heart broke as she saw her best friend's lip start to quiver, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "He wanted to push me away, and he finally did. He was right. We're over." Without another word, she broke away from Gracie's grasp and got into her car, slamming the door before backing out and speeding out onto the street.

Gracie just stared after her in confusion as Lyla walked up to her and looked out in the direction Tara had driven off. "What happened, Gracie?"

She just shook her head. "I don't know. Tara went back to talk to Jax and then…" Just then, Gracie's voice caught in her throat as she saw Ima, the bitchy blonde that had been pushing up on Jax, saunter out of the clubhouse with an evil grin on her face.

Gracie just shook her head as a sick feeling of dread welled up in her stomach. "No. No, he couldn't have been that stupid."

Ima walked right up to Gracie and Lyla, towering over both of them in her platform sandals, and grinned. "Too bad your little doctor bestie had to walk in on me and Jax, but she just wasn't doing it for him anymore. And when Juice gets bored of your short little ass, I'll do the same for him."

Gracie opened her mouth to scream at the waste of space in front of her, but didn't get a chance to before Lyla swung her arm back as far as she could and slapped Ima with everything she had. "You just couldn't help yourself could you? You stupid whore!"

Gracie ignored Ima and looked over to Lyla, nodding her head in thanks before marching back into the clubhouse. By the time she opened the door and went inside, all of Samcro was sitting around the bar, getting ready to go into the chapel for church.

When he saw Gracie storm inside, Juice was by her side almost instantly. As soon as he saw Ima walk through the clubhouse, he knew what happened and he knew Gracie was going to be pissed. But looking at the expression on her face right now, he knew that "pissed" didn't quite cover it…she was fucking furious.

"Sweetheart, listen, just calm down…" He tried to wrap his arms around her waist but she pushed him away, glaring back at him in anger.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down." She turned away from him and looked around the room until she saw the man she was looking for.

Jax was standing by the pool table when he saw Gracie walking in his direction, all the hurt and anger in her eyes focused directly on him. He still had Tara's heartbroken, devastated face burned into his memory, and now the woman he loved like a sister was looking at him like he was the biggest piece of shit on the planet, just adding to his misery.

He raised his hands up in surrender and sighed. "Gracie, listen…"

But Gracie didn't give him a chance to speak before she started yelling, her voice trembling with rage. "How could you? How could you do that to her?"

Jax ran his hands down his face and sighed. "Darlin', I never meant to hurt her."

Gracie just shook her head. "Yes you did. You've been trying to push her away for weeks, but she loved you too much to let you go. So instead of giving her a chance and dealing with your shit like a man, you acted like a coward and did the one thing that could ever break her faith in you."

Grace could feel her hands starting to shake with anger as she thought about all Tara had been through in the time since Abel had been taken and how dedicated she had remained the entire time to working things out with Jax, to being there for him and his family no matter what the cost. And how right now she was somewhere alone, lost and broken, carrying a child that Jax still didn't know existed and that Tara didn't know if she wanted to keep, but one that Gracie already loved just like she loved Tara, with her whole heart.

"Gracie, come on." She looked up when he spoke, her green eyes meeting his blue. His voice was quiet and sincere. "Come on. You know I love her…"

But Jax's voice was silenced when Gracie's hand connected with his face in a loud, stinging slap that took the entire room by surprise. Everything was quiet for a moment as Gracie took a slow deep breath, and when she finally spoke again Jax noticed that her voice was no longer loud and angry. It was quiet and disappointed, and that was somehow so much worse. "No, Jax. You don't get to tell me you love her. Not after what you did."

Gracie took a step forward and placed her hands on Jax's cheeks, forcing him to look at her. Her voice was little more than a whisper, so that only he could hear her words, her fingers still trembling with emotion. "And you know the worst part? I was _always_ on your side. Every fight, every time you hurt her or fucked up, I always told her to stay, to work it out with you, to give you another chance. And do you know why?" She paused to watch Jax blink away his tears and shake his head. "I defended you because you're my family, because I love you, and I thought you belonged together." Gracie let her hands drop from his face and crossed her arms over her chest. "But she's my family first and I will always love her more…and you don't deserve her."

Gracie turned away and started walking towards the door when Juice reached out and grabbed her hand. "Sweetheart, where are you going?"

Gracie looked up at Juice and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you soon." She looked back at Jax and sighed, trying her best not to feel bad for him when she saw how obviously wrecked he was. "I've got to go take care of my sister."

She walked outside, ignoring the audience that had been listening to most of the conversation, and was relieved to see that Lyla was still pacing around the parking lot. When Gracie got closer, she could tell that the girl had been crying. "Hey, are you alright?"

Lyla wiped her reddened eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just got into a fight with Opie. Apparently it's my fault that Jax fucked Ima because 'I eat pussy for a living' and only have porn sluts like me for friends."

Gracie just rolled her eyes. "Ugh, did all the men we know and love suddenly wake up this morning and become assholes? You're not a slut, Ly. You work hard and you support your family. And not all of your friends are porn stars. One of them is a really geeky nurse."

Lyla gave her a small smile. "Thanks Gracie. That means a lot."

Gracie just nodded before looking around the parking lot and noticing Lyla's car parked by the fence. "Hey, would you mind giving me a ride to the hospital? I'm pretty sure that's where Tara was headed. I need to find her and make sure she's ok."

"Absolutely. Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

Gracie thanked Lyla for the lift before hopping out of the car and walking into St. Thomas, glancing over to the employee parking lot to see that Tara's Cutlass was indeed parked in its usual spot. She went straight to Tara's office, but found the door locked. Then she went to the neonatal floor, circling the halls and popping into the doctor's lounge, but when she still couldn't find her it finally occurred to Gracie wear Tara must be. She took the elevators two floors down and went straight to Gemma's room.

When she was cleared by the fed sitting outside of the room, she opened the door and saw Tara sitting in the small chair in the corner and Gemma lying in bed, a strange look on both of their faces. Gracie closed the door and went to sit on the side of Gemma's bed, giving her a kiss on the cheek before looking back and forth between the two now silent women. "Um…am I interrupting something?"

Tara just rolled her eyes. "No, Gracie Jane. Gemma was just telling me how I need to forgive Jax for sleeping with that dumb skank and how she somehow knows just by looking at me that I'm pregnant."

Gracie's eyes widened as she looked back at Gemma, who just shrugged her shoulders. "Its obvious. Her boobs are bigger and she always looks like she wants to vomit."

Tara scoffed. "Maybe that's because of your son."

Gemma sighed. "I know he's been a dick, baby. But that man loves you. He's loved you since he was sixteen years old. You need to ride this out. He's just lashing out to push you away. But he's so lost, sweetheart. Maybe if you tell him about the baby…"

"No, Gemma! I'm serious. You can't tell him. He can't know I'm pregnant."

"Look, I know you're not sure if you want to keep it, but that baby is my grandchild, Jax's son or daughter. Just wait until Abel comes home before you make a decision. Look into his eyes before you decide the fate of his brother or sister."

Tara reluctantly nodded. "I'll think about it, ok? But you have to promise me you won't say anything to Jax, not a word. Promise me."

Gemma took a moment to look at Tara and Gracie before a sly smile crossed her face. "Ok, you want my silence? I'll make you a deal. I won't tell Jax about the baby if you do one little favor for me."

Tara crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows in suspicious. "Ok…what do you want me to do?"

Gemma's smile got even wider. "You're going to help me escape, Dr. Knowles. Gracie and I are going to Belfast."

* * *

It took Gracie a few minutes to recover from the shock, but once Gemma started talking about the details of her plan, it all actually started to make sense, which is why Gracie found herself in her apartment about an hour later with Tara, packing a bag and all the medical supplies she could find along with her passport and gun. As she threw the glock into her luggage along with extra ammo and all the cash she could withdraw from the ATM, she stopped suddenly and looked up at Tara. "This is crazy right? I mean, it's not just me. This shit is legitimately crazy?"

Tara couldn't stop the small laugh from escaping her lips as she nodded, zipping up the luggage and dragging it towards the door. "Of course it's crazy, Gracie Jane. It's Samcro."

Gracie locked the door to her apartment and followed Tara down the stairs, stopping for just a moment to look at her constantly vibrating phone. She already knew whose name she would see on the screen. That was the eighth call from Juice that she had ignored in the last two hours. She felt horrible because she knew he must be worried, but she couldn't risk telling him anything just yet. _But then again, if I keep ignoring him, he's going to send out a fucking search party._ Gracie stared at her phone for a second longer before typing out a quick one line text.

_I'm fine. Talk to you soon. Love you. -G_

When they got to the Cutlass, she climbed into the passenger seat and buckled her seatbelt, slipping her Raybans on to block out the bright California sun. Tara turned over the engine and looked at her before pulling out onto the street. "Are you ok, Gracie Jane?"

Gracie reached over to hold Tara's hand and nodded. "Just fine, Doc. Now let's get out of here. We've got work to do."

Fifteen minutes later they were in Gemma's bedroom, packing a bag full of clothes and toiletries, before finally heading back to St. Thomas. When they got back to the hospital, Tara parked as close as she could to the service entrance before turning off the car and handing the keys to Gracie. "Ok, I guess this is it. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Gracie bit her lower lip and nodded. "I'm sure."

"Please be careful."

"I will. I swear."

Tara looked at her best friend for another moment before pulling her into a huge hug. "I love you, Gracie Jane."

Gracie held onto her tightly before pulling back and kissing her on the forehead. "I love you two, Knowles. Not let's get this show on the road."

* * *

Jax was trying to calm his nerves as he looked at his brother pacing in the clubhouse. "Jesus Christ, Juice. You're making everybody nervous and you're wearing a fucking hole in the floor."

Juice looked down at his phone for the hundredth time that day before shoving it in his pocket and walking over to Jax. "This just isn't like her, Jax. Why the hell hasn't she answered her phone? What the fuck could she be doing?"

Jax lit a cigarette and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know man, but she's probably with Tara. I'm sure they're fine. They're just pissed off."

Juice just shook his head. "I know, brother, but it's _Gracie_. She just doesn't do this."

Jax glanced up to the clock on the wall before throwing his cigarette in his near empty beer bottle. He picked up his bag before walking over to Juice and patting him on the shoulder. "She texted you back, Juicey. You know she's fine."

Juice ran a hand over his mohawk and sighed. "I know, man. I just…I just wanted to see her before we left, you know?"

Jax just nodded. _I know exactly how he feels. I'd do anything to see Tara right now. _He threw his arm around Juice and pulled him towards the door. "You know Koz and Piney will look after Gracie while we're gone. It's all good. Come on, brother. Let's do this."

* * *

Jax watched Juice and most of his brothers pile into the van before he, Clay, and Tig climbed into the tow truck and drove to St. Thomas. They all needed to be in Stockton at Oswald's hanger by six that night, but Clay and Jax couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Gemma.

Ten minutes later as Jax was turning into the hospital parking lot, his cell began to ring. Looking down, he frowned when he saw Gemma's name. "Mom, are you ok?"

Tig and Clay watched as Jax's expression went from confused to pissed before he flipped his burner phone closed and turned the wheel of the truck, guiding them all to the back of the building.

Clay took off his sunglasses and frowned. "You want to tell me what that was all about?"

Jax just looked at Clay and shook his head. "Ask your wife."

Clay was about to ask Jax what the hell he was talking about, but just as they pulled up to the rear service entrance, a side door swung open and out walked Gemma, looking around nervously, wearing a long white doctor's coat.

The three men approached her quickly, Jax and Clay both pissed beyond words while Tiggy just shook his head and sighed. Jax reached her first and grabbed her by the shoulders. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Mom?"

"I'm coming with you to get my grandson."

Jax shook his head in disbelief. "But you made a fucking deal with the feds!"

Gemma reached out to touch Jax's hand only to have him pull it away. "And those cuffs will be waiting for me when I get back! But right now I'm going to help you bring Abel home…we both are."

Jax just stared at her in confusion. "What do you mean 'both'?"

"She means I'm coming, too." Everyone turned around and stared in shock at Gracie, who was standing by the tow truck with two large duffel bags at her feet. She looked around the lot before staring back at Gemma. "And if any of us are going to make it to that plane, then we need to get out of here right now."

Jax looked at Gracie like she had two heads before turning back to his mother, enraged. "You dragged Gracie into this? What the fuck, Gemma! In what world do you think that's a good idea? Jesus, Mom!"

Gemma just rolled her eyes as she started walking towards the truck. "I almost had a fucking heart attack a few days ago, Jackson. I'm not going to fly half way around the world without someone who knows how to take care of me if it happens again. And what happens if Abel is hurt or sick? Or when one of you gets shot, huh? You know the Irish like to get bloody. We need someone that we can trust to take care of our own. Not to mention she's the only person on this little vacation not traveling on a restricted passport, so if we need anything that Sambel can't get for us, we can use Grace."

Jax tried to quiet the voice in his head that agreed with everything his mom just said. _Fuck. Gemma's fucking crazy, but she's actually making sense right now. _Jax looked to Clay, hoping that he would tell them no and send Gemma back into the hospital, but the older man just shrugged his shoulders, also unable to deny the logic in Gemma's argument.

Jax went to stand in front of Gracie and placed a hand on her neck, leaning down and looking into her eyes. "You gotta be sure about this, darlin'. Once you get on that plane, there's no going back. If you get caught…"

Gracie placed her hand on top of the one resting on her neck and nodded. "I'm sure, Jax. Gemma can't leave without someone to supervise her medical condition, and like she said, you may need me when you're over there. I'm not just going to sit here while you and Juice and Chibs and everyone else risk everything to bring Abel home if I can help you in any way. I called the hospital this morning and told them I was going to visit a sick friend out of state for the week. I'm not going to get caught. I'm sure, Jax. I promise."

Jax continued to stare into her eyes for a few more moments, looking for any hesitation or doubt, but when he saw nothing but absolute determination he kissed her on the forehead and nodded. "Juice is going to lose his shit."

Gracie just grinned. "I know, but he can't stay mad forever. Besides, we can just tell him Gemma made me do it. That's definitely believable."

Jax cracked a smile and grabbed Gracie's hand, pulling her quickly towards the tow truck, with everyone else following closely behind. And they were all just about to climb in when they saw Unser appear out of nowhere and draw his weapon…

* * *

Juice couldn't stop his leg from bouncing up and down the entire ride to Stockton. He was about to jump his bail, fly to Ireland, go up against the fucking Real IRA, and then go to prison for who knows how long…but all he cared about was Gracie. _Where the fuck is she?_ It had already been a crazy day. Between preparing for the trip and finally beating the shit out Salazar, the stupid fuck that took his kutte, Juice had been reeling from the minute he got out of bed. But not seeing Gracie since that morning at the clubhouse and not talking to her all day made him fucking frantic. Sure, she had texted him that she was alright, but he knew something was wrong. There was just no way that his girl would ever let him leave like this without saying goodbye.

When the van drove into the hanger and pulled up beside of Oswald's plane, all the guys unloaded their shit and stood around, waiting to see the tow truck pull up with their three brothers so that they could finally take off. After about twenty minutes of nervously pacing, his mind racing and on edge with worry, Juice was about to call Kozik and Piney to see if they could go check on Gracie. But just as he went to dial, he looked up and saw Tara's Cutlass screaming into the hanger.

All the guys looked at each other in confusion when they saw Clay and Jax get out of the front seats, but their jaws hit the fucking floor when they saw Gemma and Gracie climbing out of the back.

Juice raced over to Gracie and grabbed her waist, pulling her into a hard kiss before looking at her in shock. "Sweetheart, what are you doing here?"

Gracie just bit her lip and sighed. "I'm going with you to Belfast."

"What are you talking about? What are you…no, just no. No fucking way."

Just then, Jax walked up beside Juice and patted him on the shoulder. "I know you don't know the details yet, but it's done, bro. Your president, VP, and SAA all agreed that she needs to come. I know she's your old lady, but it's a club decision and she wants to go, so she's going." Jax gave Gracie a secret wink before walking away, and for just a moment she forgot how royally pissed she was at him for cheating on Tara.

Juice placed his hands on the sides of her face and shook his head. "Gracie, I don't give a fuck what the club says. I'm not going to let you…"

Gracie quieted his words by kissing him with everything she had, wrapping her arms around his neck and attacking his mouth, softly biting his lower lip before tasting him with her tongue. She could feel him holding back, unwilling to give in or be distracted, but after a few moments she felt him slowly relax, sinking into her body while lifting his hands to her waist and pulling her close.

And just a few seconds later when Gracie finally felt Juice completely give into her, she pulled back a few inches and gave him her sweetest smile. "Juice, I love you more than anything in the entire world, but I'm getting on that plane whether you like it or not. I know you're confused and upset, and we have a 13 hour flight for me to explain things and get you to forgive me. But right now we need to go." Then she grabbed one of his hands, lacing her fingers with his, and pulled him towards the plane. "Come on, baby. Let's go get Abel."

**Please please please review!**


	39. Chapter 39

**I am so, so sorry this took longer than I thought! I ended up picking up a bunch of shifts at work (I'm a nurse, just like our Gracie!) and it kept me from writing for a few days. But on the bright side, this is my longest chapter ever!**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews on the last chapter. I wanted to point out that even though I am still getting emails showing all of your reviews and my review count keeps going up, for some reason any reviews submitted after the new year aren't showing up on the reviews page. Hopefully they'll fix it soon, and I'm sure they'll show up eventually, but again, I can still see them, so PLEASE still review! It just might take me a little longer to respond to you than it normally does.**

**Anyway, here it is! This is the chapter that I've been dying to write since I started this story, and I hope you all love it as much as I do.  
**

**I hope you all had a very merry Christmas, and have an even better 2016! Thank you all for reading and I sincerely hope this chapter lives up to your expectations. Please enjoy…**

Chapter 39

Gracie sat in back of the truck with some of the Sambel guys as she looked forward out of the windshield and watched the members of Samcro riding in formation through the Northern Irish countryside. And despite the horrible circumstance that brought them there, Gracie couldn't deny the absolute splendor around her. The roads they drove down meandered and curved with the landscape, and other than the blue of the sea and the gray of the sky, everything around them was a gorgeous emerald green. _It really is a beautiful place to spend Christmas._

After a few hours of swaying gently in the truck, Gracie tried unsuccessfully to stifle her yawns. _God, when was the last time I slept?_ Despite the long flight, she hadn't once closed her eyes. The first two hours in the plane had been spent arguing with Juice who was furious at her for putting herself in such a dangerous situation. But after a lot of yelling on his part and pleading on hers, he forgave her. Finally, after promising about a hundred times that she would be careful and swearing that she would stay right beside him or another Samcro member at all times, he gave her a long, hard kiss and whispered he loved her.

A few hours more into the flight Juice had fallen asleep, at which time Gracie crawled out of his arms and went to sit down next to Chibs, who looked more worried and weary than she had ever seen before. When he saw her he smiled sadly, reaching for her hand as she rested her head on his shoulder. And there she sat for the remainder of the flight, listening to one of her dearest friends open up about his troubles. He felt an unsettling mix of joy and anxiety about returning to a place that held both the best and worst memories of his life. He was gripped with uncertainty about seeing Fiona again, a woman that no matter how badly she had hurt him, he remained madly in love with. But most of all he was scared…no, he was terrified. Terrified that he would look into the eyes of his daughter, the person he loved most in this whole god forsaken world, and would see nothing staring back at him but indifference. Gracie just listened as he unburdened his heart and then remained silently by his side in support as they both nervously waited for the plane to touch down.

* * *

At some point during the long trip Gracie must have drifted off, because she was suddenly jolted awake when the truck came to a stop. She leaned forward to look outside and saw three men with kuttes waiting on the side of the road, both Clay and Chibs jumping off to embrace them. "Who are they, Gem?"

Gemma's eyes never left the guys as she spoke. "The one with Clay is Keith McGee. He's first nine and president of the Belfast charter. The one with the long hair is Liam O'Neill. Not sure about the little one."

Gracie looked over and grinned as she saw Chibs smiling from ear to ear, embracing the younger man in a huge bear hug. "Oh, that must be Padraic! Chibs was telling me about him on the plane. It's his nephew, his sister's son. He hasn't seen him since he was a teenager."

After just a few more moments, all the guys once again climbed onto their bikes and headed down the road, the truck following closely behind. But after about another hour of driving and making pleasant conversation with Luther, the driver, the truck once again came to an abrupt stop.

Gemma ripped her aviators off her face at the sight of the police trucks in front of them. "Oh shit."

Gracie watched helplessly as a swarm of police confiscated the guy's passports and, after a few minutes, forced them to kneel. "What's going on, Gem?"

Gemma's eyes shifted nervously between Clay and Jax as they each got down on the ground. "I don't know, sweetheart."

Gracie looked on in worry as the officers got to Juice, who complied without incident. But as they went to restrain Chibs, Gracie saw her Scotsman say something to the cop standing in front of him and then spit in his face. From there it was chaos. The cop hit Chibs, which led to all of Samcro jumping back to their feet and throwing punches. Then another officer fired a rifle into the air, which stopped the fight and led to all of the guys being put in the back of one of the police vans.

Gracie was about to ask Gemma what they were supposed to do now, but she didn't have time to speak before Gemma practically jumped in Luther's lap, flooring the gas pedal and running the police van off the road.

In an instant, all the Sambel members raced out of the truck and over to the police van, guns drawn, holding off the cops while Luther and McGee opened the door to let out the members of the Mother charter. Gracie waited until Luther had stopped firing at one of the fleeing police cars before climbing out and running to stand beside Gemma, who was also holding her weapon at the ready.

As soon as Juice's hands were free he went to Gracie and placed a hand around the back of her neck, his eyes traveling over her body looking for any injuries. "Are you ok?"

Gracie nodded quickly. "I'm fine."

Juice just nodded before leaving to stand beside his brothers. They were holding one of the cops, obviously on someone's payroll, by the throat, trying to get information out of him about who ordered himm to detain the MC. Grace wrapped her denim jacket around herself and stared down at her black Converse when Chibs started hitting the man brutally in the face. She knew he probably deserved it, but she couldn't bring herself to look. At some point, the guys pulled Chibs off before Clay and Jax each took their turns, beating the man senseless.

But her head shot up from the ground when she heard Clay call out, "Hap, kill one of his guys."

Happy's almost enthusiastic response of, "Oh, yes I will," sent chills down her spine. She knew from the croweaters that he was the club's enforcer, knew from the stories that he was probably the most dangerous and deadly man in the entire MC. But in all the time that she had known him, Gracie had never seen that side of Hap. To her, he wasn't the Tacoma Killer. He was just Happy Lowman, the nice guy who hardly said two words to her, but who she somehow knew was her friend. But the man in front of her now, the one practically smiling as he held a gun to another man's head…this was the cold-blooded assassin.

The moment when Clay told Hap to "do it" Gracie hid her face in her hands. For as long as she had been involved with Samcro, she had still never become accustomed to the violence. The only people she had ever seen killed were Kohn and Kip, and both memories still made her nauseous and haunted her dreams. So she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the sound of a gunshot, but the scare tactic must have worked because before Happy could pull the trigger, the beaten cop finally started talking.

Gracie slowly looked up, running her hands through her hair before crossing her arms over her chest. Then she took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves and slow the small tremble in her body. And as her eyes traveled around the scene in front of her, she caught Hap's gaze and realized that he had been staring directly at her. They made eye contact for just a moment and Gracie watched in awe as his hardened black eyes softened back to the dark brown warmth that she was used to. He didn't say anything and didn't make a move to approach her. He just stared at her intensely with an expression that Gracie couldn't quite name, but that looked something similar to…regret.

But Gracie's focus was pulled away when she felt a strong hand squeezing her shoulder. "Are you alright there, lass?"

Gracie turned to stare up at the sweet, friendly face of Padraic Telford and nodded. "Yeah, um, I'm just…yeah, I'm fine. Thank you. You're Padraic, right?"

The younger man smiled broadly. "I am, love. And who are you? Do you have a pretty name to go along with that pretty face?"

Gracie could feel her cheeks redden as she grinned at his flirty expression. _Yep, he's definitely a Telford. _She was just about to introduce herself when she felt a familiar arm wrap around her waist and pull her close.

Juice stared down Padraic and shook his head. "Her pretty name is Grace and she's my old lady, asshole."

Gracie just rolled her eyes, reaching out her hand and shaking Padraic's. "It's really nice to meet you. Chibs has told me a lot about you."

Padraic shook her hand and smiled, shrugging his shoulders as he looked at Juice. "You've got a lovely woman, brother." Then he looked back at Gracie and winked. "Sorry to meet like this, Grace. We don't always make the best first impression."

Gracie huffed out a laugh as she looked at the mess around her. "Well, it might not be the best, but at least it's memorable. Is it always like this?"

Padraic just smirked as he took a few steps backwards towards his bike and nodded. "Welcome to Ireland."

* * *

Gracie climbed out of the truck behind Gemma and looked around. They were behind a grocery store called Ashby Provisions, in a back alley somewhere in Belfast, at the Sambel clubhouse. After a few quick introductions to more Sambel members, she was greeted by a young woman named Trinity and her mother, Maureen. Apparently Maureen was McGee's old lady and owned the building where they would be staying.

She threw her duffel bag next to Juice's in the small apartment where they would all be sleeping and then went back outside, followed closely by Juice. True to his word, since pulling up to the clubhouse he hadn't been more than a few inches from her side.

When they got to the bottom of the steps and back to the alley, Gracie turned to face him, kissing him softly. "Baby, go do whatever you need to do. I can hang around out here."

Juice just shook his head. "I'm not talking about this again, Gracie Jane. You're with me or another Redwood member at all times."

Gracie sighed as she looked around at the sea of Sambel patches around her. "But aren't these guys your brothers too? I mean, they're all Sons, right? I'm sure I'll be fine."

Juice leaned in a little closer and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Sweetheart, everything is fucked up over here. Half of these guys are probably more loyal to the IRA than they'll ever be to the MC, and we still don't know who sold us out to Jimmy. So until I know who to trust, I'm not taking any chances, alright?"

Gracie bit her lip and nodded. "Alright. I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

Juice quieted her apology with a long slow kiss that left Gracie breathless, and when he pulled away he rested his forehead against hers to catch his breath. "Don't apologize, sweetheart. Just trust me."

Gracie kissed him again and nodded. "Of course I trust you. I love you. And I promise from now on I'll do exactly what you say." She kissed him once more and this time let the stress and intensity of the day fall away, losing herself in the taste and touch and feel of the man she loved. She reached her hands around to the back of his head and scratched down his neck, giggling softly when she heard him sigh. She pulled away just slightly and gave him a sexy smile before leaning in and whispering, "Isn't there somewhere we can go to be alone where I can practice doing everything you tell me to do?"

Gracie laughed as Juice through his head back and groaned. "Woman, why do you gotta say stuff like that to me when you know we can't do anything about it? You're nothing but trouble, you know that?"

Gracie grinned when she saw that Juice was unable to hide his smile. She got up on her tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. "But I'm your trouble, Ortiz."

Juice smile got even wider as he held her tighter. "Damn straight."

20 minutes later, Gracie was sitting on one of the picnic tables in the alley way talking to Juice when he stood up and threw his cigarette on the ground. "I gotta take a piss." He looked around for one of his brothers and saw Happy leaning against the building talking to some of the Sambel guys. "Hey, Hap! Can you come over here for a second?"

Gracie found herself nervously staring down at her hands as Happy approached. She hadn't seen or talked to him since that strange moment on the roadside when he almost killed that cop, and she wasn't sure what to say to him. She hated herself to admit it, but a part of her was now a little afraid of him.

She glanced up for just a moment when Happy came to stand beside them and Juice patted him on the back. "Hey, man. Can you stay with Gracie for a minute while I go inside?"

Still looking at her lap, Gracie heard Happy's gravely voice answer, "Sure, Juicey. I won't leave her."

Both Gracie and Hap watched Juice walk back up the steps and into the apartment before Happy moved to sit beside her on the table. Neither one said anything for a few minutes while he lit a cigarette and started smoking, but after some silent moments had passed, Gracie felt Hap's knee lightly nudge her own. She hesitantly looked over at him and when she met his eyes she was taken back by what she saw there. He wasn't angry or lethal, or calm and detached. For the first time since she had known him, Happy Lowman looked unsure of himself…and a little bit hurt.

"Hey, about what you saw out there today…" He glanced away for just a moment and took a deep breath before staring back at her, his voice quiet but, as usual, intense with sincerity. "Gracie, I would never hurt you."

Gracie's breath caught in her throat. People always talked about how quiet Happy was, but she always believed it's because he spends less time talking to people and more time reading them. She should have known that he would see exactly what she was feeling. And as she continued to look into his familiar dark eyes, his face silently pleading for understanding, she somehow knew that she had nothing to fear from this man. Happy Lowman may be a killer, but he sure as hell wasn't a liar. If he said he would never hurt her, he meant it.

Gracie reached her hand out and tentatively placed her hand on his knee, nodding softly. "I believe you, Hap." Then she gave him a small, friendly smile and as she did, she saw him let out a breath she didn't know he was holding, his entire body visibly relaxing.

They sat there together for the next few minutes, side by side, in comfortable silence. And even though neither one had moved, they both somehow knew that they were now closer.

* * *

Juice, Gracie, and Happy were sitting outside in the alley playing cards while the officers of both Samcro and Sambel were holding church, most of the other guys waiting around outside for orders.

But the game abruptly ended when two black SUVs and what looked to be an armored truck pulled into the alley. Within seconds, every patch pulled his weapon. Hap looked over at Juice, who was standing closest to the stairs and nodded. "Go tell 'em we got company."

Juice looked at Gracie quickly, making sure that she was safe first, before running up the steps to get the guys out of church. Gracie just stood there for a moment, unsure of what was going on and what to do, but before she knew it, Happy had grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him, so that his body completely shielded her from whoever was in the trucks.

She held on to the back of Happy's kutte, terrified, but she only had to stand there for a few moments before Juice and everyone else was in the alley waiting for the truck doors to open. And when they finally did, to Gracie's surprise, the first person she saw was Fiona followed closely by a young teenage girl that had to be Kerrianne.

Gracie blinked away the tears in her eyes as she watched Chibs embrace his family. She knew how much he missed them, how he had mourned the loss of his wife and daughter every day since they were taken away from him. But seeing him now, smiling and crying tears of joy, Gracie couldn't help but think that few men deserved this kind of happiness more than he did.

Just a few minutes later, Clay called a meeting with all of Samcro, McGee, Maureen, and Fiona. Maureen came to stand in front of Gracie and nodded her head towards her little grocery store. "Why don't you go inside the shop and visit with Trinny, love?"

Juice immediately shook his head. "No. She stays with me."

Chibs then walked up with Fiona tucked in close to his side. "It's alright, Juicey. She'll be safe with these boys for a few minutes. Let her spend some time with Trinity and Kerrianne."

Juice looked over to Grace who squeezed his hand and nodded. "It's fine, baby."

He sighed before giving her a small, quick kiss. "Stay in there until I come get you, ok?"

Gracie nodded. "Promise." Then she gave him one more kiss and walked in the direction of Ashby Provisions.

Juice stared after her for a moment longer, and when he turned to walk up the staircase, Chibs pulled Fiona a little closer and nuzzled her neck, kissing her hair and whispering in her ear. "Do those two remind you of anyone, Fi?"

Fiona just chuckled as she leaned into him. "Who? Those two kids so crazy in love with each other they can't see straight? I suppose they remind me of a couple I knew long ago; a young, wild girl fighting for a cause, and an even younger Scottish boy mad enough to love her. But that was a very long time ago…"

"Aye, that it was." Without another word, the two walked silently up the stairs to the meeting, neither one realizing they'd joined hands.

* * *

Gracie followed Trinity and Kerrianne into the small shop and before she even walked through the door she heard the sound of cans falling to the ground and a familiar voice shrieking. "Oh my god, Gracie!"

Grace looked up just in time to see Cherry rushing her, pulling her into a tight hug that knocked the air from her lungs. The two embraced for a few moments before Cherry pulled back and smiled. "Jesus, Gracie! I didn't know you were coming!"

Gracie shook her head and smiled. "Neither did I. It was definitely a last minute thing."

"God, Gracie, I just…" Cherry's voice suddenly trailed off as she looked up and remembered that Kerrianne and Trinity were still in the room. "Hey, can we go in the back and talk for a minute?"

Gracie looked up to Trinity who nodded and then followed Cherry into the store room where the two could be alone. When she closed the door, Cherry turned towards her and Gracie watched the smile slowly fade from her friend's face. "I don't want to say too much in front of Trinny. I mean, she's basically McGee's daughter and Liam and McGee are so close…" Cherry bit her lip and looked down to the ground. "Maureen asked me to get Gemma's cell number when all of this first went down. I called some of the croweaters and that's when…that's when I heard what happened to Kip."

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked at Cherry. Seeing her there, even with the different clothes and new hair color, she reminded Grace so much of Kip and how happy he and Cherry had been together in Charming, back before Cameron and Zobelle and Stahl ripped them apart. She tried her best to control the emotion in her voice when she spoke. "Cherry, I am so sorry…"

"You were with him, weren't you? When he died?"

Gracie's voice caught in her throat and she found herself unable to speak, only nodding.

"Did he…I just need to know…did he suffer, Gracie?"

Gracie dropped her eyes quickly to the floor and took a deep breath, steeling herself for the lie she was about to tell. It still haunted her dreams; the image of Cameron's knife plunging into her friend, the agony and the anguish on his face, the slow painful death he must have endured while she laid unconscious beside him. It was her real life nightmare…and she'd be damned if Cherry had to live with it too.

She looked back at Cherry and stared into her eyes, shaking her head. "No, sweetie. It was really quick. I don't think he even knew what happened."

Despite the tears trailing down her face, Gracie softly smiled when she saw the relieved breath escape Cherry's lips. The prospect's long lost love reached her hands out to Grace's, holding them tightly. "The croweaters I talked to? They told me that you took care of him while I was gone, looked out for him. And that when he died, you made sure he had a nice funeral. That means so much to me, Gracie. Thank you."

"Please don't thank me for that. He was my little brother. I loved him." Gracie thought back to all the times she'd spent with Kip; how he calmed her down when she was frightened, helped her deal with Juice's stabbing, made her laugh, held her when she cried, always listened, always cared. She couldn't stop her tears from falling harder as all those wonderful memories came flooding back like it was yesterday. "And besides, I think he took care of me as much as I took care of him."

By this time, Cherry was crying just as hard, her voice raw with tears. "When I got here, I was so lonely, so fucking lonely, Gracie. Liam saw me and we got together, but…" She could barely speak now, her words barely audible between her strangled sobs. "But I never stopped loving Kip, Gracie. You have to know that. I still loved him…"

The rest of Cherry's words dissolved into whimpers as she fell into Gracie's arms and sobbed into her shoulder, while Gracie just held her close, stroking her hair and whispering over and over again, "He loved you too, sweetie. He loved you, too."

And there they stayed for what seemed like forever, clinging to one another, comforting each other, as they mourned the loss of a sweet young man who they would both always miss.

* * *

Sometime in the middle of the night, Gracie laid next to Juice in the small double bed in the attic of the apartment, her bright green eyes staring up at the ceiling. No matter how hard she tried and how exhausted she felt, she just couldn't make herself fall asleep. The events of the day kept replaying over and over in her head on a constant loop. The police ambush, her talk with Happy, and her time spent with Cherry were just the beginning. Later that day, Fiona and Kerrianne were attacked along with half of Samcro during their trip back to the rectory, although thankfully no one was hurt. Then, like it was the most normal thing in the world to do in the midst of all the chaos, there was a party.

The music, sweetbutts, and boxing strangely made her feel at home; it was nearly identical to the Friday night parties in Charming. But after the day she'd had, she just wasn't in the mood to drink and dance. She was standing with Trinity watching Jax fight with Liam when she felt Juice's calloused hand take hers and pull her towards the flat. They barely made it to the bed they were sharing before he was inside her, and there they remained for the next few hours; making love, then talking, then kissing, then making love all over again.

At some point in the night the party died down and they heard the rest of their family come inside. Grace and Juice took a quick shower together before going to the living room, Gracie making tea and talking to Gemma and Bobby while Juice played poker with his brothers.

She smiled as she watched Juice joking and laughing with Chibs and Clay, and blew him a small kiss when he looked over to her and winked. No matter how much darkness ever surrounded her, the sight of Juice truly happy, with that amazing smile on his gorgeous face, lit her up inside. _Because if Juice is smiling, then at least something is right in this_ _crazy world_.

The guys were all eventually overtaken by jetlag and lack of sleep, and the game finally broke up, everyone finding their designated places to crash. That was more than two hours ago, and although Juice fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, Gracie stayed stuck in a state of wakefulness. She kept hearing Gemma's voice from earlier that night asking Bobby, "If this is the first day, what in the hell is going to happen tomorrow?"

She finally gave up on sleep, turning onto her side so that she was facing Juice, and watched with a small smile on her face as his chest slowly rose and fell with each breath he took. _If I can't close my eyes, I'll just settle for looking at one of my favorite things in the world…Juan Carlos Ortiz sleeping next to me._

* * *

The next morning everyone was up early. After a quick meeting, it was decided that the Redwood guys would go with Sambel on a protection run in hopes of finding Jimmy O, while Gracie, Gemma, Fiona, and Kerrianne would all stay with Maureen and Trinity in their flat, guarded by a man named Michael Casey who was one of Kellan Ashby's personal bodyguards.

Gracie had just helped Fi and Gemma clean up the kitchen after lunch and was now sitting down at Maureen's small kitchen table drinking a cup of tea when the door burst open and in walked Michael, followed closely by two dangerous looking men in suits, each holding a gun, one of them pointed at Michael's head.

Gracie gasped as they shoved Michael into the kitchen chair across from hers and looked up in shock when she heard Fiona's voice. "What are you doing, Jimmy?"

Gracie's eyes widened in terror and revulsion. _So this is Jimmy O. _She was certain that she had never hated another human being so quickly as she did the man standing in front of her.

Jimmy looked at Fi and smirked. "Settin' things right." Then he looked at Michael quickly before pulling the trigger and firing a round right into his temple.

Gracie couldn't stop the scream that escaped her lips as she stared at Michael's lifeless body, Gemma quickly coming to stand behind her, placing her hands protectively on her shoulders.

Jimmy looked down, finally taking notice of her, and gave her the coldest smile she'd ever seen, "Ah, so here's the pretty little red head I've been hearing so much about from my sources. Tell me, love, do you know who I am?"

Gracie spoke through clenched teeth, her anger somehow overcoming her fear. "Yes, I know exactly who you are. You're a man so hateful and unlovable that your only shot at having a family was to steal someone else's."

Jimmy huffed out a laugh before pointing his gun to Gracie, but just before he pulled the trigger, Kerrianne walked into the kitchen with Maureen and screamed. "Da! Stop, please!"

Jimmy looked over to Kerrianne and then back to Grace, reluctantly lowering his weapon. "I'm setting things right and I'm taking my family home." When neither Fiona nor her daughter made a move towards him he raised the gun once again to Gracie. "Do I have to kill another one to show you how much I love you? I'm taking my family home!"

He took two long strides forward and shoved the gun against Gracie's forehead, causing her to shriek, before Kerrianne started crying out. "Mom, please! Please!"

"Fine! We'll go!" Fiona wrapped her arms around Kerrianne, who sank into her mother's embrace and cried. Gracie watched as Jimmy turned away from her to stare at Fiona, at which point she grabbed the small knife off the table that was left over from lunch and palmed it in her right hand. She didn't know what she was going to do, but she refused to let that evil son of a bitch steal Chibs family away for a second time.

After Kerrianne told Jimmy that her belongings were back in Trinity's bedroom, he ordered the other man, Donny, to get her things. Donny then went to the hallway, but as soon as he disappeared around the corner, gunshots rang out. Jimmy turned to see what was happening and when he did, Gracie saw her opportunity, and without hesitating for a second, she jumped out of her seat and towards Jimmy, plunging the small knife into his thigh.

The wound didn't seriously hurt him, but it was enough that he was taken by surprise, dropping his gun and placing his hands on his bleeding leg, giving Gemma just enough time to reach down and grab his weapon.

Gem held the gun at Jimmy's head without wavering, ordering Donny to get down on the ground while Jimmy sat in the small kitchen chair by the door. Maureen ran to check on Trinity, who after firing her gun was hiding in her bedroom. They came back out a moment later, and when they did, Gemma told Maureen to take Trinity, Kerrianne, and Gracie downstairs to safety.

Gracie didn't realize that her entire body was shaking until Maureen came over to her and grabbed her trembling hand, pulling her towards the hallway. "Come on, Gracie. Let's go, love."

Gracie followed her towards the hallway, only pausing for a moment when she heard Jimmy's icy voice softly say, "I'll be seeing you again, lass. You can count on that." But she didn't turn around to look at him. She never wanted to see his horrible face again.

* * *

A few hours later, Gracie was sitting on a sofa next to Fiona and Kerrianne in the rectory of St. Matthews Cathedral. As soon as Jimmy left Ashby Alley, Maureen had called Kellan who quickly came to get them with Michael's brother, Sean, and what seemed like an army of Real IRA security. Gemma helped her pack a small bag before all of them rode in a caravan of armored vehicles to the church, where they would be safe enough until the club got back from their run.

Gracie smiled as she looked upon the beautiful Christmas tree standing in the corner of the small living room, its soft white lights twinkling against the silver and gold of the ornaments, a large shining star perched on the top. Christmas was only three days away and the entire church was decorated with garland, wreaths, ribbon, and lights. And despite the ugliness of the day and the circumstances that led to her being there, Gracie felt lucky to be in such a beautiful place.

She was just about to rest her head on the arm of the sofa to try and get some much needed sleep when the rectory door opened and in walked Gemma, followed quickly by Juice, Chibs, and Clay.

As soon as she saw the cuts and scrapes all over Juice's face she gasped, jumping up quickly and running into his arms. "Jesus, baby. Are you alright? What happened?"

Juice couldn't bring himself to speak as he drowned in Gracie's familiar comfort. He was still reeling from the horror of the explosion that left Padraic dead and several other Sambel members terribly wounded. After the explosion, he was more than relieved that all his Samcro brothers were whole, but that relief faded the moment the priest called to tell them that Jimmy had been at Ashby Alley and that while Michael had been killed, the women were all alive and safe at St. Matt's. So the entire ride back to Belfast he had been frantic, only knowing what little Kellan had told them, without any details or guarantees.

So for now he just tightened his arms around Gracie's waist, pulling her impossibly close and burying his face in her wavy auburn locks. _She's here. She's alive and safe and here with me. God, thank you, thank you, thank you…_

But at some point in his silent prayers and between kissing her neck and smelling her hair, Juice registered that Gracie's small, worried voice was pleading with him. "Juice? Baby, please, are you alright? Talk to me. What happened?"

Juice pulled back to look at her and he couldn't help but think that the green of her eyes was more beautiful that any shade he had seen in this entire god forsaken country. He placed a hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb, and sighed when she leaned gently into his touch. "We were set up by Jimmy's guys. There was an explosion, some sort of bomb on the truck with the gun shipment."

Gracie bit her lip as she reached up and ran her fingers softly over the cuts and scratches on his face. "Is everyone ok?"

Juice looked down at the floor, shaking his head, but raised his eyes when he heard Chibs quiet sobs.

Gracie looked over as Fiona and Kerrianne went to Chibs, and her tears started to fall when she heard her Scotsman's grief-stricken voice. "Padraic's dead, Fi. They killed my nephew. They killed my sister's baby boy…"

Everyone watched in silence as Chibs cried for a few more minutes, comforted by his wife and daughter. He eventually dried his tears, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands, before looking back to Fiona. "Now, tell me exactly what happened."

Fiona sighed. "Jimmy came in with his man, Donny. They killed Michael right in front of us. He said he was there to take me and Kerrianne, but we wouldn't go so he threatened to kill Grace if we didn't leave with him."

Gracie glanced up in time to see Juice go pale, rage causing his deep brown eyes to darken, but they both looked back to Fiona as she continued. "Kerrianne convinced him not to harm her, and we agreed to let him take us, but before we could get out the door, Trinity came up the back stairs and shot at Donny. And as soon as they were both distracted, Grace attacked Jimmy with a kitchen knife."

Juice, Chibs, and Clay all turned to Gracie in surprise, Juice the first one to speak. "What the fuck did she just say?"

Fiona went on. "Jimmy turned to look down the hall, and when he did, Grace ran towards him and stabbed him in the leg. He dropped his gun and before he could reach down to get it, Gemma picked it up. He and Donny left and then we called Kellan to bring us over here. That's basically everything."

Juice turned to Gracie, grabbing her shoulders and staring at her like she was crazy. "What the hell were you thinking, Gracie Jane? He would have killed you without blinking! Why the fuck would you do that?"

Gracie just reached up and placed her hand on his jaw, knowing that he wasn't really angry, just scared. "I just, I guess I didn't really think about it. They were going to take Fi and Kerrianne. I just…I couldn't let Chibs lose them again. Not like that."

Juice opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Chibs was at his side, pulling Gracie into his arms and squeezing her tightly. "My darlin', my sweet angel. Thank you, love. Thank you for looking out for my girls."

As soon as he loosened his hold on her, Gracie raised up on her tip toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Remember what you said to me in the hospital after the car bomb? You said you're my family. So that makes Fiona and Kerrianne my family, too."

Chibs just nodded before he kissed her on the forehead and then walked back over to stand beside his wife. "So what's the plan, then?"

Gemma stepped forward and motioned towards the door. "Maureen and Trinity and me are going back to Ashby Alley, but Fi, Kerrianne, and Gracie need to stay here for protection."

Juice just looked at her, confused. "Why does Gracie have to stay?"

Fiona went to stand by Gemma and nodded. "Jimmy threatened her before he left, didn't take too kindly to being stabbed. Until he's caught, she's in danger."

"Fuck." Juice glanced over to Gracie first before looking to Chibs and Clay. "So what do we do here?"

Chibs nodded. "Fi's right. The girls are safest here. This place is a bloody fortress." Then the Scotsman looked over to Clay. "But I want a patch on them at all times. I'll never trust a thousand of these Irish army fuckers more than I trust one of our own."

Clay nodded. "Juicey, stay here at the rectory with Gracie and Chib's family. We'll leave Dunfee here too." Dunfee was one of the Sambel guys that Chibs knew from his old days in the MC and who he trusted with his life.

Juice could only nod. He was relieved that Clay had suggested he stay here to watch over the girls, because no matter he would have said, nothing could have made him leave Gracie after learning that she was one of Jimmy's targets.

Gracie watched Juice hug Chibs and Clay before giving Gemma a kiss on the cheek. Then Gracie said goodbye to Clay and Gem before going over to Chibs and wrapping her arms around his waist. She whispered against his chest. "I'm so sorry about Padraic."

She pulled back when she felt Chibs kiss the top of her head. "I know, love. I know."

Gracie looked up into his saddened eyes and patted the front of his kutte. "You be careful out there."

Chibs offered her a small half smile and nodded. "Always, love."

A few minutes later they were gone, leaving Juice, Gracie, Fi, and Kerrianne alone in the rectory, trying to think about anything except how scared they were for all the people they loved.

* * *

Late that night, Gracie and Juice were lying on the small pullout sofa bed in the living room of the rectory. Kerrianne and Fiona were sleeping in the bedroom and Dunfee was currently standing guard. Gracie had been able to sleep for about four hours, but when she had to get up in the night to use the bathroom, she found it impossible to once again drift off. So she pulled on her black yoga pants and wrapped a long, warm cardigan around the tank top she was wearing, slipping on her sneakers as quietly as possible before sneaking out of the room and making her way to the sanctuary.

As Gracie walked down the center aisle of the church and sat down in one of the front pews, her eyes never stopped traveling over the amazing space. The Christmas decorations, although beautiful, were only adorning what was already a gorgeous building. From the gleaming wood floors, amazing statues, breathtaking stained glass, and grand architecture, St. Matthews was one of the loveliest places she'd ever been, and she'd been all over the world.

But as she tucked her legs up under her and got as comfortable as she could, she realized that it was more than just the appearance of the church that made it special. From the moment she walked in here earlier that afternoon, she felt a calm that had evaded her from the moment she left Charming. Looking around at the warmth of the lights, the glow of the candles, and the still silence the late hour was providing, Gracie felt strangely at peace; as though the beauty within these doors could somehow protect her from the chaos that lay waiting for her just outside them. And then she realized that the only other times in her life that she had ever experienced anything similar were all times spent with Juice.

Gracie was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't realize when someone sat down in the pew behind her. "It's a little late for prayers, lass."

Gracie gasped and turned around quickly, placing a hand to her chest and breathing a sigh of relief when she saw that the man behind her was Father Reilly, one of the parish's priests whom she had met briefly earlier that night. He looked to be somewhere in his mid-forties, tall and thin, with bright red hair and two of the kindest blue eyes she had ever seen.

Father Reilly grinned, looking slightly embarrassed. "So sorry to have frightened you, child. I wasn't thinking with all you've been through, you might be a wee bit skittish."

Gracie just shook her head and smiled. "No, I'm sorry. I was…" She waved her hand around in the air and then shrugged her shoulders, "I was somewhere else, I guess."

The priest just nodded. "Whenever I see someone as lost in thought as you were just now, they're usually either worried or in love. I suppose you're a little bit of both."

Gracie just grinned. "Yeah, I suppose I am."

Reilly got up from his seat and came forward to Gracie's pew, sitting next to her. "So, how long have you and your young man been together?"

"Not quite a year, but it seems like so much longer."

"Well, I already know you love him. Two minutes with the two of you and that's clear to anyone, but tell me…is this the man that you'll spend the rest of your life with?"

Without hesitating, Gracie answered. "I'll never love anyone else."

Another moment passed before Father Reilly spoke again. "So tell me, Grace. Do you believe in God?"

Gracie just looked up at him and smiled. "Are you trying to save me, Father?"

The priest just laughed. "Well, it's a bit in the job description. Besides, it's four in the morning and I'm a little worse for the wear. This is how I make small talk."

Gracie laughed before looking forward at the altar and shrugged her shoulders. "I honestly don't know if I believe. I never did, not my whole life. I lost too much at a young age and then saw too much grief and heartache as a nurse to just have blind faith in some benevolent god in the heavens, but…"

"Go on, child."

Gracie smiled to herself as she thought about the last year of her life. "But since meeting Juice? I don't know. Being with him…I don't believe it's just chance. What he is to me, what he's meant to my life…it's like he was designed for me. Like the whole reason I was created was to love him." Gracie turned to Reilly and grinned. "I'm not sure if that's _a _god, or _your_ god, or maybe just The Force, but something bigger than me brought Juan Carlos into my life and allowed me to love him."

Reilly just smiled and nodded. "God works in mysterious ways, Grace. I can't venture to say why he allowed you to experience so much hardship in your life, but I can guarantee that the love you have for that young man is one of his many blessings." The two sat in peaceful silence for a few more moments before Reilly turned once again to face her. "Grace?"

"Yes, Father?"

"What is The Force?"

Gracie just laughed. "You know, The Force. From Star Wars."

Reilly just looked at her confused. "Oh, I've never seen any of those movies. What does the force do, exactly?"

Gracie just shook her head at him and laughed. "Get comfortable, Father. This might take a while. I'm going to give you a crash course in Jedi."

* * *

Juice got up early the next morning and gave a sleeping Gracie a kiss on the cheek before creeping out of bed and throwing on a fresh pair of clothes. He wanted to talk to Dunfee about the plan for security and coordinating with the IRA guys to make sure that absolutely no one could get to Gracie, Fiona, and Kerrianne.

A couple of hours later, he was making his way back to the rectory through the sanctuary when he saw Gracie and Kerrianne sitting together, laughing at something as they passed Kerrianne's iPod back and forth. He looked a few rows back and saw Fiona sitting alone in one of the pews, smiling at her daughter, and went to sit next to his brother's estranged wife. "Hey, Fi. Mind if I sit down?"

Fiona looked up and smiled at the boy with the crazy haircut who reminded her so much of a young Filip Telford. "Sure, love. Sit."

They sat there together for a few minutes watching Kerrianne and Gracie, before Fiona spoke. "You know, I'm not easily impressed, especially by other women. But your Grace? She's strong and she's good. You're a lucky man."

Juice just grinned, never taking his eyes from Gracie. "Luckiest man in the world."

"So when are you planning on pulling your head out of your arse and marrying the girl?"

Juice's eyes widened in shock as he turned to face her. "Uh, what was that now?"

Fiona just smirked. "She's a beautiful girl. You love her. She obviously loves you. Why haven't you married her?"

Juice stared down at his hands and swallowed the lump in his throat before raising his eyes again to find Gracie. "It's…it's not that simple."

Fiona stared at him for a few more moments before smiling. "You are so like him, do you know that?" She waited for Juice to turn and face her before continuing. "It took Filip years to propose, even though we'd been in love since the first moment we laid eyes on each other."

"Really?"

Fiona nodded. "Really. We lived together for years before he finally agreed to be my husband, and he only eventually did because I had that wee one on the way."

Juice looked over to where Kerrianne was sitting and grinned. For all the years that he'd known Chibs, he'd never talked to him about his early life with his family. He knew that his friend found it just too painful. "So why did he wait so long to propose?"

Fiona just patted him on the knee. "Same reason that you're waiting now. He didn't think he was good enough."

Juice found himself unable to stare at anything but his hands resting in his lap. Fiona was exactly right. He had moved in with Gracie and had been truly happy. But ever since, he had been unwilling to take it any further; he never talked to her about a crow, or marriage, or children. Because if he said them out loud that would be admitting that he wanted them, which would make it that much harder when all those wishes were inevitably denied. _Because of course she's too good for me. I've known that from the day I met her. And even though, for some crazy reason, she loves me now, I know that someday she'll wise up and realize she could do so much better. I don't want her to regret me. I don't want to ruin her. I just want to love her for as long as she loves me, and then when it's over, let her move on._

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Fiona gently nudged his shoulder. "Get out of that thick skull of yours, lad. I know exactly what you're doing right now. Going over all the reasons why it won't work out between the two of you, why you're sure that she deserves a better man. And let me tell you, you're wrong, just like Filip was all those years ago."

Juice just shook his head and sighed before turning to face her. "Why do you care, Fi? Why does it matter to you what happens between me and Gracie?"

Juice watched as Fiona blinked tears out of her eyes. "Because a love like the two of you share is a gift from God, and in this whole world, it's granted to so few. Don't let it waste away because of what you're afraid of. Don't lose it because you're terrified of a future that may not ever happen. We only get so much time on this Earth, Juice. You're born and then you blink and then it's over. The time we're given should be spent in the arms of the ones we love, not running away from them."

Juice swallowed the lump in his throat, letting Fiona's words sink deep down in his heart. He looked up again at Gracie, smiling and laughing in just that way that made him fall in love with her all over again, and simply enjoyed the sight of her before a question crept into his head.

"Fiona, can I ask you something?"

The older woman just turned to him and grinned. "Of course, love."

"Do you ever regret it? Marrying Chibs, having a kid with him, loving him like you did only to have it all taken away from you?"

Fiona smiled softly as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Not for a single moment do I regret it."

"Why not?"

"Because just one second of the life I had with Filip and Kerrianne is worth more than an entire lifetime spent without them."

* * *

After his talk with Fiona, Juice made sure that Dunfee was guarding the girls before walking out of the church and down the block to get some air. After lighting his cigarette, he zipped his jacket and stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying to brace himself against the cold, Irish winter winds. And the longer he walked, the more he repeated Fiona's words over and over again in his head. He did want a life with Gracie, more than anything. And he was afraid…no, terrified of getting what he wanted only to have it ripped away. But as he thought about all the things that Fi had said, that she didn't regret being with Chibs and that life is precious and oh so short, his reasons for denying himself what he most longed for seemed less and less important. Finally, after about an hour of wandering the streets of Belfast, he stopped dead in his tracks on the middle of the sidewalk, hit with a simple truth so powerful he thought he might fall over.

_Life is short. We all only get so much time. And I don't want to waste another second of it. I want Grace Anderson to be my wife._

Suddenly he took a deep breath and smiled, feeling like a million ton weight he didn't even know was holding him down had been lifted from his shoulders. He then looked at his surroundings and realized that he had no idea where he was, and he really didn't give a shit. He stopped the first person he saw on the street and asked how to find the nearest jewelry store, and when he was pointed in the right direction, he took off running.

* * *

Gracie was sitting alone once again on the very front pew in the massive sanctuary of the cathedral. It was early evening, and she had just finished having dinner in the rectory with everyone, which had been lovely except for the anxious expression on Juice's face. She'd asked him several times what was bothering him, but he just kept telling her everything was fine._ I guess he'll tell me when he's ready._

She smiled up at the choir loft as a group of girls wearing white robes started singing carols; beautiful melodies that echoed off the walls all around her. The church was bathed in soft shadows, the only lights coming from the Christmas tree and the hundreds of candles set all around, in hopes of adding to the magic of the nativity, according to Father Reilly.

And it did. In fact, the music and the lights and the beauty were more than magical. To Gracie, they felt…holy.

The choir had just started singing Silent Night when she looked up to see Juice standing beside her. She took his hand and smiled, always surprised that, after all this time, just seeing his face gave her butterflies. "Hey, you."

Juice didn't sit down. He just stood in front of her looking uneasy and unsure of himself before Gracie saw him take a deep breath and stare at her with more love in his eyes than she'd ever seen before. "Gracie Jane, I've loved you since the moment you almost knocked me over the first morning we met, but I didn't realize it until the morning after the first night I spent at your place, when I showed up at your door, out of my mind and going crazy, and you took care of me…"

Juice tried to focus on Gracie and the look of absolute devotion on her face instead of the fact that his heart was beating so hard and so fast that he thought it might literally burst out of his chest. He took another deep breath before he went on. "And I could tell you that I loved you even more when you accepted my life in the club or when you took me back after leaving you or when you gave me a real home for the first time in my life. And I did, each time. But the truth is, I love you more every second of everyday that I'm with you. No matter where we are or what we're doing, if I'm still breathing, I love you more."

Without another word, he dropped down to his knees in front of her, grabbing her now trembling hands and staring into her beautiful eyes. "Gracie Jane, before you I never really knew what it meant to feel alive. And since being with you, not only have you given me life, you've become my life. You're the air in my lungs and the reason my heart keeps beating. You're the only thing I need to survive."

He watched as Gracie smiled her gorgeous smile through her softly falling tears as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. He was shaking so bad he nearly dropped it, but somehow managed to open it up, revealing a small rose gold claddagh ring. He took the ring out of the box and grasped Gracie's left hand, slipping the ring onto her finger and then staring back into her eyes. "Grace Jane Anderson, I will love you for the rest of my life. Please marry me."

It seemed like a lifetime, even though it was only a few moments, before Gracie slid out of the pew and down to her knees, joining Juice on the floor and kissing him with everything she had before wrapping her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder as she crushed herself against him.

Juice just laughed as he pulled back slightly and brushed her hair away from her tear stained face. "So is that a yes?"

Gracie placed her hands on the sides of his face and kissed him again before nodding her head and smiling. "Yes, yes, yes! Oh my god, yes!"

Her lips found his one more time and when they barely parted she pressed her forehead against his and sighed. "Forever, Juan Carlos."

Juice buried her hands in her hair and held her close, memorizing every second of what he knew was the greatest moment of his life. "Forever, Gracie Jane. For the rest of my life, with everything I have. Forever."

* * *

The next day was Christmas Eve and it went by like a blur. Early that morning, Kellan and his security guards took everyone back to Ashby Alley where they all learned that Jimmy was now after Abel. Gracie stayed at the house with the other women while Jax, Juice, and all the other guys searched all over Belfast for the baby. And finally, several hours later, after Father Kellan sacrificed himself to Jimmy in an unexpected hostage exchange, Abel was back in the arms of his father.

It was early evening and everyone was back at Maureen's flat celebrating, drinking Irish whiskey and holding Abel, whenever Gemma and Jax would let someone else have a turn. Gracie was sitting in Juice's lap on one end of the sofa and smiled at Abel's beautiful reunion with his family, more than grateful that the little boy she adored was safe, healthy, and back with the family that loved him.

Bobby came into the room from the kitchen and closed his burner phone. "Well, pack up your shit, everybody. Oswald has a plane leaving tomorrow afternoon, so it looks like we'll be leaving this hell hole first thing in the morning."

Everyone applauded, but before any of them could get up, Juice and Gracie stood from the chair. Hand in hand, they smiled at each other for a moment before Gracie turned to the group and grinned. "So, before you all start packing, there's something we need to do before we leave…"

* * *

When Juice and Gracie told everyone about their engagement, they were greeted with hugs, kisses, and congratulations. But when they told them all that they wanted to get married that night before they left Ireland, the room erupted in cheers and excitement. Trinity immediately dragged her into the bedroom where Gracie stripped off her jeans and t-shirt and slipped on one of Trinny's dresses. It was simple and sleeveless, with a modest sweetheart neckline and made of cream colored lace that fell in an a-line to just above Gracie's knees. By this time in the night, it was freezing outside, so on top of it Gracie wore Trinity's navy blue cardigan sweater that had a little jeweled embellishment around the collar. Thankfully, the two women wore the same shoe size, so Gracie was able to take off her worn, dirty sneakers and slip on a pair of nude patent leather ballet flats.

By the time Kerrianne had curled her hair and Gemma had helped her with her makeup, Juice and most of the rest of Samcro were already on their way to the church. Gem was adamant that Juice not see Gracie in her dress before the wedding, and no one was willing to risk her wrath. The only ones that remained were the girls, Clay, Jax and Abel, and Chibs.

Gemma looked at Gracie and smiled before taking Abel from Jax and walking outside. "Alright, let's get this show on the road."

They all started to file out the door when Gracie grabbed Chibs hand and pulled him back. "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Chibs smiled and nodded. "Of course, sweet girl. The bride gets whatever she wants on her wedding day." He waited until everyone else was outside before closing the door and turning to face her. "What is it, love?"

Gracie looked up at Chibs, a man she truly loved like he was her own flesh and blood, before grabbing one of his hands and smiling softly. "I know that Juice asked you to be his best man."

Chibs grinned. "Aye, that he did. The little shite's finally making an honest woman out of you, so I thought it was the least I could do."

Gracie shook her head and grinned for a moment before staring up into his eyes and squeezing his hand a little tighter. "Well, I was hoping that before you stand up for Juice that maybe you would consider giving me away."

Chibs placed his hand on Gracie's cheek and gave her a small smile. He knew how much she had loved her father, knew how much she must be missing him in that moment, and for her to ask him to be there for her in that way…it overwhelmed him. "Grace, it was be my privilege and my honor."

He wipes a single tear off her cheek and kissed her forehead, opening the door and pulling her outside. "Come on, love. I think there's a very nervous Puerto Rican waiting for you somewhere across town…"

* * *

As Gracie stood with Chibs in the back of St. Matt's waiting for her cue to walk down the aisle, she couldn't help but think that, no matter how fast it was happening and how crazy the situation may seem, it was almost perfect. The only thing missing was Tara. She had tried calling her best friend when she arrived at the church, but had been unable to reach her. But even though Gracie always assumed that Tara would be her maid of honor, they both knew that the moment they landed back in Charming, the guys would be going to prison. Gracie had no doubt that Tara would understand that she and Juice wanted to be married before being forced to spend god knows how long apart. So instead, she asked Kerrianne to stand up with her, which both moved and delighted the beautiful teenager.

When the music started, Chibs grabbed her hand and looped it through his arm, walking her slowly towards the sanctuary doors. He handed her a single red rose to carry that he had picked out of one of the Christmas arrangements at the church and smiled. "Are you ready, Grace?"

Gracie smelled the flower that looked almost identical to the bloom tattooed on her back. "Almost." She closed her eyes and did something that surprised even her…she silently said a prayer. _God, thank you for Juan Carlos. Thank you for blessing me with his love. Please help me to be a good wife. Help me make him happy. And if you see my parents up there, tell them I love them and that, even though they aren't here with me, that I can feel them in my heart. _

Then she looked back up to Chibs and smiled. "Now I'm ready."

* * *

Gracie didn't see Chibs by her side, or her friends and family in the pews, or Father Reilly waiting by the altar. All she saw was Juice; his eyes, his smile, his tears that he was unable to keep from shedding.

Their vows were simple; the same words said by thousands of couples for hundreds of years. They promised their faithfulness, their fidelity, their love to only each other. Then they exchanged rings; two silver bands covered in Celtic engraving that Juice had bought on his way to the church before the ceremony. Finally, they repeated to each other the prayer that Father Reilly had given them to say to one another.

_We thank you, Lord, and we praise you for bringing us to this happy day._

_You have given us to each other. Now together, we give ourselves to you._

_We ask you Lord, make us one in our love; keep us one in your peace._

_Protect our marriage. Bless our home. Make us gentle. Keep us faithful._

_And when life is over, unite us again where parting is no more in the kingdom of your love._

And before the priest had even told him to kiss the bride, Juice's lips found Gracie's.

They didn't see their friends and family cheering in the pews, they didn't see Father Reilly smiling down at them, they didn't see Chibs, or Kerrianne, or the choir, or anything else around them. They only saw each other.

"I love you so much, Juan Carlos."

"I love you more, Grace Ortiz."

_Please review...  
_


	40. Chapter 40

**Hello lovelies! Yep, they're finally married! Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I loved hearing from each and every one of you! **

**This is another long one and is going to start out with Juice and Gracie…uh, you know, consummating their marriage :) Then we move closer to the end of season 3! Thank you all so much for continuing to read and a very special thanks to the follower ****Duskborn**** who suggested something in a review several months ago that I am finally putting in the story. You can all thank him if you find the end of this chapter unbearably adorable…**

Chapter 40

After the wedding, everyone went back to the apartment at Ashby Alley to celebrate. Trinity brought up a small cake and some champagne from the shop for the new couple, everyone else draining bottles of Jameson. Kerrianne played some songs off her iPod, and everybody smiled as Gracie danced with her new husband, who hadn't stopped smiling since the ceremony. Then she danced with Chibs and almost every other member of Samcro while Juice took a turn with Gemma and Fiona. But around midnight, Bobby reminded everyone that they needed to head off to bed. The plan was to leave the flat by 4am to start the long journey back to Charming.

Gracie was saying goodnight to everyone when she felt Juice's strong hand grab hers and start gently pulling her towards the stairs to the attic. He didn't say any words, but he didn't need to. His eyes were burning into hers with more love and desire than she'd ever seen.

When they got to the top of the stairs and entered the small bedroom, Gracie walked inside and faced the bed. She heard Juice behind her, shutting the door before walking slowly towards her. She smiled as she felt the small tremble run down her spine. She had made love to Juice countless times, but for some reason she actually felt nervous. Like this time would be different somehow. Like it was first time all over again.

Another moment passed before she felt him come up behind her, and she almost shook with anticipation as he silently placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled off her blue cardigan. After tossing it aside, she felt his fingers run slowly up and down her arms before making their way to the base of her neck, finding the small zipper and pulling it down the length of her back.

Already aching for more of him, she sighed when he brushed all of her hair to the side and began kissing her, starting at the curve of her neck and trailing a path down her exposed shoulder.

After a few moments, he finally whispered against her neck. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…" He moved one of his hands around her waist and pulled her against him, his kisses becoming more intense as he started gently sucking and licking her skin. "…and you're my wife."

Gracie leaned into him and smiled as she reached one of her arms up and wrapped it around the back of his neck, turning her head so that she could kiss the spot where his vein was pulsating beneath his skin. Then she turned around in his arms and looked at him; his gorgeous brown eyes darkened with want, his lips slightly swollen from kissing her. She placed her hands on his cheeks, caressing his face with her thumbs, as she took in every inch; his chiseled jaw, honey colored skin, and perfect mouth. She couldn't stop her fingers from moving to his lips, her fingertips barely grazing their softness, before she looked back into his eyes. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…" Then she leaned forward and kissed him, slowly and completely, tasting and savoring him as she moved against his lips. Then she barely pulled back and smiled. "…and you're my husband."

Gracie slowly moved her hands down from his face, over the length of his neck, and two his shirt, undoing each button before pushing it off his shoulders and onto the floor. She paused for a moment, already slightly breathless, and admired his perfect body before pressing her lips against his chest.

Juice closed his eyes and sighed at the feel of Gracie's lips against his skin as they traveled across the length of his collar bone, her fingernails trailing against his stomach. He tangled his hands in her hair and kissed the top of her head before his hands moved to her shoulders and found the straps of her dress.

She lifted her head to look at him as he pushed the straps from her shoulders, which allowed the white lace dress to fall in a pool around her ankles, and this time it was his turn to stare. She was standing in nothing but a white lace bra and matching panties, her porcelain skin becoming more flushed with every passing second. From the copper hair brushing her shoulders, to the fullness of her breasts, to the gentle curve of her hips, Gracie was flawless and simply took his breath away.

He suddenly had the overwhelming need to please her…to worship her. He dropped to his knees in front of her, his strong hands squeezing her hips before moving to cup the roundness of her ass. Then he leaned forward and buried his face between her thighs, breathing in deeply before moving his tongue against the thin, silky fabric.

"Oh, Juice…" Gracie's breath hitched as her hands found his muscular shoulders, leaning against them for support. He was driving her crazy; touching her just enough make her core ache with desire, but not nearly hard enough to make her come. "Baby, please…"

At the sound of her breathless voice, Juice reluctantly pulled back and looked up to her, meeting her eyes as she whispered. "More baby, please."

He never took his eyes from hers as his hands found the hem of her panties, slowly pulling them down to the floor. He waited for her to step out of them before running his hands up the length of her legs until they came to rest on the back of her thighs. Then he leaned forward once again, but this time his tongue came in direct contact with her slick, throbbing center. "Oh god, Juice…"

He quickened his movements as Gracie's fingernails dug into his shoulders. His tongue was swirling around her swollen clit and he felt drunk off the juices that coated his mouth. He was lost in her, loving her, and only came back to reality when he felt her legs start to shake. "Baby…baby, I'm coming…"

As he felt her start to fall over the edge, he plunged his tongue into her sex, feeling it pulse and quiver over him, as he drank the surge of wetness that ran over his lips and down the inside of her thighs.

When he felt the last tremors run through her body, he looked back up at her and sighed. She was staring down at him; her mouth slightly open and panting, her cheeks stained crimson, her beautiful face curtained by the shining auburn hair that fell all around her like a halo. She was so sexy, so fucking perfect, and she was his.

Gracie bit her lip and smiled at the beautiful man kneeling in front of her before reaching behind her and taking off her bra. As soon as she pulled it off her shoulders and threw it onto the floor, she leaned down and placed her hands on Juice face, kissing him and pulling him up towards the bed.

Juice quickly finished undressing as he watched Gracie lay down on the bed, her arms above her head and her legs bent at the knees and opened, her body silently begging for him.

Without another moment passing, Juice crawled on top of her and kissed her passionately before gripping his hardened cock, running the tip through her soaking folds, and driving his full length deep inside of her.

They both groaned at the incredible sensation; Gracie high on his fullness and Juice lost in her tight, drenched heat. He rested the weight of his body on his elbows when he started thrusting as she locked her legs around his waist and dug her nails into his back. They moved like a dance and only took their eyes off each other when they were licking and tasting each others' lips and skin. They were constantly trying to press themselves harder against each other, as though even a breath apart was too far, and were so tangled in one another they could barely tell where one of them started and the other one began.

It didn't take long for them to feel their impending climaxes, and as Juice plunged into her harder and faster, Gracie felt her belly clench and saw stars behind her eyes. "Fuck, Juice…oh god…baby, come with me, come with me…"

"Gracie! Jesus…fuck…Gracie!"As soon as he felt Gracie's walls grip his cock, Juice lost it, coming for what seemed like forever as he emptied himself inside her.

As they both came down from the intensity and shook with the aftershocks of their orgasms, Juice stared down the gorgeous woman beneath him. He watched as a bead of sweat dripped from his brow and fell onto her cheek, and followed it with his eyes as it slowly gliding down her own glistening skin until it got lost in her tangled hair. He was mesmerized by her, overcome and overwhelmed, and so fucking in love.

And as he once again focused on the goddess softly smiling up at him, he finally found his voice and said the only thing he could think of. "You fucking own me, Gracie Jane. I'll do anything for you. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I want to give you everything…what do you want, sweetheart?"

Gracie simply smiled and shook her head. "Just you."

* * *

They had been on the plane for about 6 hours. Gracie was asleep with her head resting on Juice's shoulder, while he was absentmindedly running his fingertips gently over her hand that was resting on his thigh. He didn't want to wake her, but there was something he'd wanted to ask her about since the wedding, and he just couldn't wait anymore.

He turned his head to kiss her hair and whispered. "Gracie Jane. Wake up, sweetheart." But instead of waking, Gracie just turned towards him and buried her face in the crook of his neck, cuddling into his side.

_God, she's so fucking cute. _He smiled to himself before lightly caressing her cheek. "Gracie, sweetheart, wake up. I want to talk to you."

Gracie curved her back and stretched like a cat, yawning quietly before looking over to him and giving him a sleepy smile. "Hey baby."

In spite of how nervous he felt, he couldn't stop smiling. Sleepy Gracie was always fucking adorable. "Hey, I want to ask you something."

She sat up in her seat and rubbed her eyes for a moment before turning towards him. "What is it?"

He tried to think of a million different ways to ask, but after a minute he gave up, grabbing her hand and just blurting out, "When we get back to Charming, I want you to get my crow. Do you want to? I mean, is that ok with you? Cause if not I…"

Gracie silenced him with a short sweet kiss. "Baby, of course I want your crow. I love you. I married you. Why wouldn't it be ok?"

When Juice didn't say anything, she pressed a little further. "Baby, I know what it means, how important it is. Why would you think for a second I wouldn't want it?" She bit her lip and sighed before continuing. "Does it have anything to do with why you never asked me before?"

He felt horrible when he saw the embarrassed blush rise in her cheeks. "Sweetheart…"

Gracie just shook her head and softly smiled. "I always knew you loved me and I didn't think it was my place to ask you about it. I figured that you would bring it up when you were ready. But when you told everyone that I was your old lady, when we moved in together…I mean, Gemma, the guys, the girls at the club, everyone asked me why I didn't have a crow..." Gracie's smile widened slightly. "But now I'm your wife, so I guess it's ok to ask. Why did you wait so long?"

Juice just sighed. "Sweetheart, I just…listen, I've wanted you to have my crow since before you moved in. But I just couldn't. I couldn't do that to you."

Gracie sat up a little straighter as her brow creased in confusion. "Do what to me?"

Juice shook his head. "I couldn't let you live with the regret of me. I knew you loved me, but there was this voice in my head constantly telling me that it wouldn't last. That one day you'd realize what a huge mistake I was and you'd leave. And you could have left me; you could have burned my pictures and moved all your shit out and left Charming and never would have had to think about me again. You could have moved on without me…fuck, without me branding you with a permanent reminder of some guy that would just be a bad memory."

"What am I gonna do with you?" Gracie shook her head as she unbuckled her seat belt and climbed into Juice's seat to straddle him. She kissed him fiercely before placing her hands on the sides of his face and looking into those gorgeous brown eyes. "You listen to me, Juan Carlos. Do you see this ring on my finger? It will never leave my hand, because I want the whole world to know that I'm your wife. And yes, as soon as we get to Charming, I want that tattoo, because I'm so proud of you and so proud to be your old lady. I will never leave you and I sure as hell will never regret you. The only thing that crow will ever remind me of is that we belong to each other." When she saw him softly smile, she gave him a small, sweet kiss. "I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life. Deal with it. You're stuck with me, Mr. Ortiz."

Juice pulled her in for another kiss before smiling up at her beautiful face. "I think I can handle that, Mrs. Ortiz."

* * *

As the plane touched down at the small airport in Stockton, Gracie felt a happiness she'd never known before surge through her body. She had traveled all over the world, seeing far off places and then making her way back to wherever she was living at the time, but never before today had she felt like she was truly coming home. She was finally _from_ somewhere; Charming would be her home town, the place where she lived with her husband, the place where all her friends lived, where she worked, where she would help Tara raise her children, and hopefully one day, where she would raise children of her own. For the first time in her life, she was right where she was meant to be. _I belong here._

But all that happiness faded the moment they stepped off the plane and Bobby handed his phone to Jax. Gracie watched with unease as Jax's face paled. He found her eyes almost immediately, a terrified look in his eyes, before hanging up the phone and looking to Clay. "Salazar has Tara."

Throughout the short ride in the van to the clubhouse, Gracie had to resist the urge to vomit. Dread bloomed in her chest and she ached in a way she never thought possible. Tara; her best friend, her sister, her anchor, was in the hands of a lunatic and there was nothing that she could do about it. And her heart broke even more when she thought about the small, fragile life growing inside Tara's belly.

She didn't even know she'd started crying until she felt Juice's thumb on her cheek wiping away her tears. "Sweetheart, don't cry. We're gonna find her. She's gonna be fine."

Gracie nodded but gained no comfort through his assurances. No words or prayers or kisses or promises would make her feel better. Nothing would help except seeing Tara again, safe and unharmed.

As soon as they arrived at TM everyone went inside the clubhouse, the guys dropping all of their luggage by the bar before quickly heading into the chapel. Gracie spent the entire time pacing the floor, but thankfully the guys were only in church a few minutes before they all came out and got ready to search for Tara.

Gracie saw Gemma speak quickly to Clay before the older woman came over to her and placed Abel in her arms. "Can you watch him for me, Gracie? I need to go to my house for a while. I'm due for some sleep and a shower. Just a few hours and then I'll send someone to pick him up."

For the first time since landing back in Charming, Gracie actually smiled. She loved spending time with Abel and watching him would distract her, at least a little, from the terror she was feeling. "Of course. Come here, big guy." Gracie held the baby in one arm while Gemma slipped his diaper bag over her other shoulder.

Gemma kissed Abel on the cheek and thanked Gracie before walking outside with Clay. Then Jax came to stand in front of her, running his hand over Abel's soft blond hair before kissing his forehead. He looked up at Gracie and sighed, neither one needing to say a word. They both knew exactly how the other was feeling, because they knew that they were the two people in the world that loved Tara the most. So instead of speaking, Jax just wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, tucking her head under his chin.

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat as she hugged him back with her one free arm and buried her face against the cool leather of his kutte. "You bring them home, Jax."

Jax pulled back to look in her eyes before nodding. On the journey back from Ireland, Jax revealed how Gemma had told him about the pregnancy in order to get him to agree to bring Abel home. It made him hate himself even more for trying to push Tara away like he did, but he couldn't deny how happy it made him to think of the love of his life carrying his child.

Juice watched as Jax squeezed Gracie's shoulder and kissed the baby one more time before walking outside, and for just a moment, all he could do was stare. Every time he had ever seen Gracie holding Abel, he got a little flutter in his chest. _Maybe someday…_

He walked over to her quickly, smiling down at Abel and letting the baby grab one of his fingers before kissing Gracie softly. "I'll call you when we know anything."

Gracie nodded, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and bringing him forward for one more small, chaste kiss. "Please be careful."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too, baby."

Juice turned and walked outside along with the rest of his brothers towards their bikes. He had just climbed onto his Harley when he saw Tig come up beside him, grinning. He dropped a set of keys in Juice's hand before patting him on the back. "Lowen came and dropped them off this morning. It's all ready for you, and the prospects are taking care of the other thing you asked for."

Juice glanced down at the keys in his hand and grinned before looking back up to Tig. "Thanks, brother. I appreciate it."

Tig just nodded. "I don't know how you got a girl like Red to marry you, but I'm happy for you, Juicey. Congratulations."

When Tig walked away, Juice revved up the Dyna and drove out of the lot, completely determined. They were going to find Tara. She was going to be alright. And then when he got back, he was going to work on giving Gracie everything that she ever wanted…the happily ever after that he knew she deserved.

* * *

Only a few hours had passed before Juice called and said that Tara was alive, but being held hostage in the mayor's office by Salazar. Gracie handed the baby to Lyla before running as fast as she could to the van, where one of the new prospects, Miles, was waiting to give her a ride.

When she got to city hall, she found all the guys in the crowd and ran to Juice. He told her that Jax had gone in to try and negotiate some kind of deal, but that they didn't know anything else.

Every minute that passed seemed like an eternity, but after about an hour they finally saw the doors open. Tara was walking out flanked by two FBI agents, Jax following closely behind them holding one of his arms close to his body like it had been injured.

Gracie ignored the cops yelling at her to stop as she bolted past the yellow police tape and ran to Tara. "Oh my god, Knowles!" She wrapped up her best friend in a bone crushing hug, Tara clinging to her just as desperately. "Are you ok? I was so worried. I thought…I thought…"

Both girls were crying as Tara just nodded. "I'm alright, Gracie Jane. Is Abel…"

Gracie nodded. "He's fine. He's perfect."

A fresh wave of tears fell from Tara's cheeks in relief. "Oh, thank god."

The two were interrupted when a medic approached them. "Dr. Knowles, you need to come with us to get checked out. We'll drive you to St. Thomas."

Gracie laced her fingers through Tara's hand and looked at the medic. "I'm going with you."

As they walked towards the ambulance, Gracie looked back and saw Jax still being questioned by the feds. He looked over to them and when their eyes met she smiled and mouthed the words _thank you_. When she saw him nod, she turned back to Tara and kissed her cheek before helping her climb into the ambulance.

They had just pulled out onto the street and towards St. Thomas when Tara's eyes suddenly widened as she looked down at the hand that Gracie was holding. "Gracie Jane, why the hell is there a wedding ring on your left hand?"

* * *

Tara's shock turned into happiness as Gracie told her about the wedding. She apologized a million times for her not being there, but Tara completely understood. It was only a matter of days before the guys went to prison. She didn't blame Gracie and Juice for not wanting to wait.

Gracie waited with Tara in one of the small ER exam rooms while the doctors looked her over, but once Jax arrived, a fresh bandage over his arm, Gracie stepped out into the waiting room where she found Juice leaning against the wall. She ran into his arms and smiled before kissing him. "She's going to be ok."

Juice couldn't help but smile back. _God, I love it when she's this happy._ "What about the baby?"

"They're waiting for the obstetrician to the do the ultrasound right now, but she hasn't had any bleeding or cramping or anything, so I'm hoping he's ok, too."

Juice grinned. "He?"

Gracie just smiled. "They're both sure it's another boy. Apparently Jax has some manly chromosomes."

They sat together in the small waiting room, hand in hand, for another 20 minutes before Jax came out smiling, confirming that mom and baby were both just fine. He told them that the docs were going to observe Tara for a few more hours before releasing her and that he was going to stay with her until she was discharged. He gave Juice a hug and kissed Gracie on the cheek before heading back into the room to be with his old lady.

Gracie yawned as she walked with Juice out of the hospital and through the parking lot to his bike. "God, I'm so tired. Are we going home now?"

Juice just grinned and shook his head before handing Gracie her helmet. "Sorry, baby. We're going back to the clubhouse. Happy's waiting for us."

* * *

As excited as Gracie was about finally getting her crow, the argument she was having with Juice about where on her body to put it was driving her insane. She wanted it on her forearm where she could see it all the time, and he wanted it, well…

"Baby, I love you, but there is no way in hell I'm getting a tattoo on my ass."

Juice sighed. "Well, what about your lower back?"

"No. I'd feel like I was trying to copy Tara or something."

"Ok, fine…What about right here?" Juice placed his hand on the front of her hip bone, right beneath the hem of her underwear.

Gracie groaned. "Baby, if I put it there no one will ever see it, not even when I wear a bathing suit." As soon as the words left her mouth and she saw the sheepish look on Juice's face, she finally figured out what he was doing. "Juice, are you trying to get me to hide it?"

He looked down to the ground for a moment before shrugging. "You might want to cover it up someday, and I…"

Gracie placed her hands on the sides of his face and lifted it until she could look into his eyes. "Ortiz, seriously. This is the last time I'm going to say this. I will never want to cover it. I will never want to hide it. I am your wife and that's never going to change."

Juice could feel his resolve crumbling as he tried to stifle his smile. "When did you get so stubborn, Gracie Jane?"

Gracie laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "I've always been stubborn. I was just hiding it until after I convinced you to marry me."

Juice shook his head and smiled before his arms circled her waist, pulling her close. He kissed her slowly and deeply, drawing her lower lip into his mouth and running his tongue along the softness before using it to taste her. But just as Gracie started to sigh, losing herself in the kiss, Juice abruptly pulled away, a cocky smile on his face. "What if the hospital wants you to cover it up for work, huh?"

Gracie's shoulders sank as she bit her lip. "Oh, shit. I hadn't thought about that." Gracie sighed, but when she felt Juice's hand start to travel absentmindedly up and down her side, she finally thought of the perfect place.

"How about right here?" She moved his hand to rest over her left side, on her rib cage right beneath her bra. "It'll be covered most of the time, but at least everyone can see it when I'm wearing a bikini."

Juice raised his eyebrows and frowned. "When is everyone going to see you in a bikini?"

Gracie just rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's perfect." Then she leaned in and whispered against his ear. "Don't you think it'll look sexy, baby?"

Juice quietly groaned at the feel of her lips and warm breath against his ear. _Fuck, why can I never say no to her?_ This time it was Juice's turn to roll his eyes when he saw the oh-so-proud of herself smile on Gracie's face. She knew she had him. "Alright, fine. Let's go tell Hap."

* * *

Gracie sat on the edge of Juice's bed in his dorm room at the clubhouse, watching Happy ready all of his tools. Juice was working on something for Clay at the bar and told her he'd come back to check on her when he got a chance. Happy offered to do it on one of the tables in the clubhouse, but Gracie thought Juice's room would be more private, and let's face it, more sanitary.

She looked over to Hap, who was drawing furiously on a small sketchpad, and smiled. "Thanks for doing this, Happy. I'm sure there's something else you'd rather be doing." It was hard not to notice the way all the croweaters practically threw themselves at Happy all the time, and she was certain that if he wasn't tattooing her right now, he would be somewhere else getting laid.

Hap just raised his eyes to hers and shrugged. "I love tattooing. Don't really get to do it as much as I used to."

Gracie just smiled. He hadn't said much, but she loved it when Happy told her anything personal about himself. She had a feeling that there was so much depth inside of him, but he only revealed himself slowly and carefully, one thin layer at a time.

Happy put his pencil down and handed Gracie the drawing. "Here. Do you like it?"

Gracie quietly gasped when she saw what he'd created. The crow was beautiful and more detailed than any of the ones she'd seen on the other old ladies. The wings were ornate and feathery gray, spread open as if in flight, and the eyes, although black, were somehow warm and soft. In its claws, the crow held a single red rose just like the one she'd carried down the aisle, and written in beautiful cursive script right underneath the stem of the flower was _Juan Carlos, _which was the only feature she'd specifically requested. The piece wasn't too large or too small, not too feminine and not too masculine. It was everything she hadn't even realized she wanted.

She looked at Hap and smiled. "Happy, this is so beautiful. You're an amazing artist."

Hap didn't acknowledge her compliment, but she thought she saw the corners of his mouth barely raise in a smile. "You ready?" When Gracie nodded, he rolled the desk chair to the edge of the bed and motioned for her to lay down on her right side, facing him.

She laid down and waited for him to do something, but when she glanced up at him he was almost grinning. "You gotta take your shirt off, Gracie."

Gracie could feel her cheeks redden as she blushed. "Oh, right. Sorry." _It's just like wearing a bikini, Anderson. Nothing he hasn't seen before._ She sat back up and peeled off the navy tank top she'd been wearing, leaving her in only her jeans and her pale, lilac colored bra. She laid back down, making sure her arm was above her bra line and tried to stay as still as possible while Happy cleaned off her skin. After the area had been sterilized, Hap went to the small bathroom to wash his hands. When he came back he put on a pair of latex gloves and turned on his tattoo gun.

Gracie closed her eyes as Hap applied the stencil and waited nervously for the first prick of the needle, but she opened them again a few moments later when nothing had happened.

She looked up at Happy, who seemed to be staring intently at his left hand as it rested on the top of Gracie's side. She quietly watched him, unable to name the look on his face, but she could definitely feel the slight tremble in his fingers against her skin. "Happy? Are you alright?"

Hap blinked quickly and shook his head, whatever trance he'd been in broken by the sound of her voice. He glanced down at her, making eye contact briefly, before staring back at her side. "Yeah." Without another word, he brought the ink to her skin and went to work.

* * *

Three hours later, Gracie was carefully sitting up, trying her best to avoid touching her newly bandaged side. She was sore and exhausted, but it was worth it. The tattoo was gorgeous. Juice had been in and out of the room, seeming more and more distracted each time, but he'd told everyone else to stay out of the room, not willing to let any of his other brothers see his wife without a shirt on.

With Happy's help she lifted her arms and slid her tank top back on, pulling it gingerly down to her waist. "Thanks, Hap. Really, it turned out so beautiful and you were great with me. Hope I wasn't too much of a wimp."

Hap grinned and shook his head. "It's a decent sized piece and you barely flinched, girl. You did real good."

Hap sat back down and started cleaning up his tools as Gracie started to walk towards the door, but she paused for a moment before turning back to face him. "Um, Hap?"

Happy stopped what he was doing to look up at her. "Yeah?"

Gracie bit her lower lip and laced her fingers together. "Listen, you've never talked to me about her and I don't mean to pry or anything, but your mom…isn't she sick?"

Hap furrowed his brow in confusion but nodded. "Her name's Maria. Got cancer a few years ago, and it's been progressing. She has some good days but a lot of bad ones too. Can't live alone anymore so I set her up in a nursing home in Bakersfield."

Gracie gave him a soft smile and took a step towards him. "I've heard some of the guys talking about how close you are to her and with you guys all going inside soon, I just thought maybe, if it's ok with you, maybe I could check in on her every once in a while. I only work three days a week, so I'll have plenty of free time. I can visit her, talk to her doctors, whatever you need. Would that be alright?"

Happy Lowman was good at a lot of things, but he was a master at hiding his emotions. It wasn't as though he didn't feel just like other people; he did. He could be sad, and depressed, and angry, and afraid just like everyone else, but he'd learned a long time ago not to trust anyone else with his feeling because then they could be used against him.

He had hidden away any anxiety he had about going back to prison, hidden any worry he felt about his mother being cared for all the months he would be gone, and most of all, hidden the absolute terror he felt at the real possibility of her passing away while he was locked up.

So no one was more surprised than Happy himself when he was unable to hide his gratitude from Gracie.

He stood from the chair and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly, carefully avoiding her side. He pulled back and placed both of his large, tan hands on her pale white cheeks, before leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead. Then he looked into her eyes and nodded. "That would mean everything to me, Gracie. Thank you."

Then, as if unable to stand the vulnerability he'd just shown, he walked past her and rushed out of the room, leaving a stunned Grace staring after him.

* * *

A few minutes later, Gracie made her way to the bar where Juice was having a drink with Chibs and Bobby. When he saw her, Juice stood from his bar stool and walked towards her. "Hey, are you all done? I just saw Hap take off."

Gracie nodded. "Yep, all done and it's perfect, but I'm so tired I can barely see straight. Can we go home now?"

Juice just nodded. She hugged Chibs and Bobby, promising to come back tomorrow and show them her crow when it was unbandaged, before Juice grabbed her hand and pulled her outside. She climbed onto the Dyna behind him, grasping his waist and leaning against his back as they glided out of the parking lot and onto the street. But a few minutes later she was confused when he drove them straight past their apartment and into Tara and Jax's neighborhood, riding just a block down from their friends' house and stopping in front of a little white ranch house on the corner of the street, a for-sale sign perched in the front yard.

When Juice shut off the engine, Gracie took off her helmet and looked over at the house, completely lost. "Baby, where are we? What are we doing?"

Juice didn't say anything. He just got off his bike and held Gracie's hand as they walked on the small stone path that led up to the front door. Then he looked at Gracie and offered her a nervous smile before dropping a small set of keys in one of her hands. "You said you wanted to go home."

Gracie stared down at the keys for just a moment before looking back up to Juice. "You…you bought us a house?"

Juice nodded as he anxiously ran his hand over his mohawk. "Before we left for Ireland, I had Lowen make the offer. It was all finalized while we were away. I know I should have talked to you about it first. I mean, I don't even know if you'll like it. But I thought since it's right down the street from Tara and it's so much bigger than the apartment that…"

Juice couldn't say another word before Gracie's lips crashed onto his in a perfect, beautiful, frantic kiss that left them both breathless. Her lips moved against his as her nails scratched down her neck, every inch of her body pressed against his. He tangled his hands in her messy auburn hair and he could swear he felt her smiling.

After a few minutes he pulled back slightly and smiled when he saw the blissful look on her face. "So you like it?"

Gracie looked at the house again and nodded, her voice wistful. "I love it." Then she looked back to Juice and smiled. "And I love you. I can't believe you bought us a house!"

Juice let out a slow relieved breath as he took the keys from Gracie's hands and unlocked the front door. "Come on. Let's see if you like the inside."

Gracie walked in and her smile got even wider. Everything was completely open. From the small living room she was standing in, she could see the dining room, which had french doors that led out to what looked like a decent sized back yard. The kitchen was just to the left of the dining room and had fresh white cabinets, black granite counters, and a big island that would be perfect for parties. On the other side of the dining room there was a small hallway that led to the three bedrooms.

Juice showed her the master bedroom and bathroom and the small half bath in the hallway before walking towards the other bedrooms.

But as they neared the end of the hall, Gracie stopped and tilted her head to the side. "Did you hear that?"

Juice tried his best to hide the grin on his face. "Hear what?"

Gracie looked around again as she heard a strange noise coming from the last bedroom. "It sounds like…" She walked to the door and opened it, and when she turned on the light, she raised her hands to her mouth and gasped. "Oh my god!"

There in the middle of the empty room, in a large cardboard box filled with blankets, toys, and water, was the most adorable pit bull puppy she'd ever seen. It was solid gray with bright blue eyes and the moment she saw him she was head over heels in love.

Juice could only stand there and smile as he saw his girl rush to the box and pick up the puppy, cradling it against her. "Juice! Oh my god! Is he mine?"

Juice got down on his knees and joined Gracie on the floor. "I remembered you saying how you've always wanted a dog, but that you couldn't have one as a kid because you traveled too much and that you couldn't have one in Chicago because your place was too small." He stroked the puppies head before looking back at Gracie and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "Listen, I know it's going to be hard when I get locked up, and all this won't change that. But I figured buying the house and the dog would let you start living the life we're going to have together, even if I have to miss a little of it. I just…I wanted us to have a real home, not only for you, but for me. I can think about it, about you living here and waiting for me, to help me look forward to something, to know that whatever shit I have to go through will be worth it because when I get out I get to come home to you."

Gracie reached one of her hands around Juice's neck and kissed him gently. "I love you so much, Juan Carlos."

He ran his hand over her hair, feeling its softness between his fingers, before kissing once more. "I love you too, sweetheart."

Just then, the puppy in her arms started to whimper, causing Gracie to laugh. "What is it? Do you need attention little guy? What are we going to name you?"

Juice took him from Gracie's arms and laid down on the floor, placing the puppy on his chest. "He looks like a Harley to me."

Gracie just laughed as she laid down beside them, resting her head on Juice's chest and using one of her hands to play with the puppy's floppy ears. "I don't know, Ortiz. Look at that face. I mean, he's this sweet little boy that's going to grow up and be this big, strong, powerful…" Gracie's smile widened as she picked up the puppy and kissed his head. "Oh baby, I know the perfect name. Can't you see it? The force is already strong with him…"

And with that, Luke Skywalker Ortiz was officially part of the family.

**Please review!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hi everybody! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and welcome to any new readers who have followed and favorited this story. I can't believe this is the end of season 3! I hope you like where I've taken Juice and Gracie so far, and I can't wait for all of you to find out what's in store for them in season 4.**

**So this is just a short little chapter to wrap up season 3, and then the next update will cover the 14 months of prison time. I truly hope you enjoy it** **and, as always, please review…**

Chapter 41

It was some time in the very early morning and, despite the huge day that lay ahead of him, Juice just couldn't close his eyes. He should be resting, preparing, steeling himself for what was coming and what he would have to do. But he simply couldn't.

All he was capable of, all he cared about, all he could do in those wee hours of the morning, was stare at his beautiful wife as she lie sleeping beside him.

He reached out his hand and touched the soft copper hair fanned out on her pillow, and his heart started to ache knowing that this was the last morning he would wake up beside her for a very long time. The night before he and Gracie, along with Luke, left the new house and headed back to the apartment. They were just getting ready for bed when Jax called and told him that everything was going down the next day.

He thought back to the moment when he hung up the phone and had to tell Gracie that he would be taken into custody the next day. Her face instantly crumbled, but just when it seemed like she was about to break down, she blinked her tears away, bit her lip, and nodded. She was being strong for him, and he was so fucking proud of her.

It was killing him not to tell her about the plan the club had in place, but they had all agreed that for it to be convincing none of the old ladies could know, not even Gemma. So as much as he hated seeing that sad, lost look on her face, he let Gracie fall asleep thinking that he would be going away for years, which, as much as he hated to admit it, could still happen unless everything went perfectly according to plan.

But none of that mattered right now. In the quiet of their bedroom, in that calm moment before the coming storm, nothing mattered to him except memorizing every inch of the pretty face sleeping peacefully on the other side of the pillow.

* * *

When Gracie walked through the clubhouse door with Juice, Luke squirming impatiently in her arms, she couldn't help but smile. _This is my family._ Gemma, after managing to negotiate some deal with the feds the day before, was a free woman and had somehow put together a huge breakfast for all of Samcro. It was officially a welcome home party for Abel, but everyone knew it was really just a chance for everyone to spend some time together before most of the guys had to say goodbye.

Gracie smiled when she saw Ellie, Kenny, and Piper running over to greet her, but laughed when she realized they were only there for Luke. The kids quickly took the puppy to the other side of the room to play as Juice and Gracie said hello to everyone else before getting some breakfast.

She smiled when she saw Jax and Tara sitting together, Abel sitting in Tara's lap drinking a bottle. The three of them looked so happy, so full of love, so complete. _Just like it should be. _She sat down in the vacant seat beside Tara and kissed her cheek before running her hand gently over Abel's soft blond hair. "Is it just me or has he gotten even more gorgeous?"

Tara grinned as she looked down at Abel before glancing over to Jax. "Looks more like his Daddy every day."

Juice sat down beside Gracie and talked with Jax and Tara for a few minutes, but stopped and looked up along with everyone else when Lyla and Opie walked in and announced their engagement. Jax got up to give Ope a huge hug just as Gracie hopped up out of her chair and squeezed Lyla.

Gracie was practically shrieking. "Ly, congratulations! Seriously, I'm so happy for you."

Lyla was beaming. "Thanks, Gracie. We're not getting married until the guys are out, but I'm counting on you for lots of advice since you're an old married woman now."

Gracie just laughed. "Yep, I've been successfully married for almost three days, so I'm basically an expert."

The two friends were still smiling when Gemma came up to them and wrapped her arms around their shoulders. "Well, we've got one married, one engaged, and one knocked up. I'm not sure how you three managed to settle these boys down, but I'm glad you did." Then Gemma kissed them each on the forehead and smiled. "Love you girls."

Gem reached down to grab Lyla's hand and examined her ring before she pointed to Gracie's side. "Alright, sweetheart. Let's see it."

Gracie bit her lip and grinned before grabbing the hem of her t-shirt and lifting it up, exposing her side, and more importantly, her crow.

Gemma and Lyla, along with Opie and Jax each leaned down to examine the gorgeous blackbird, still a little red and swollen, but none the less impressive. Gemma looked up to her and smiled. "It's beautiful, baby."

Gracie looked up to find Happy talking to Kozik across the room. He glanced up for a moment and she smiled at him before nodding to Gemma. "I know. It's so perfect. I love it."

Jax pulled her shirt back down and kissed her cheek. "Congratulations darlin'. You're officially part of our crazy, fucked up, dysfunctional family."

Gracie just laughed as she looked around the room before smiling back at Jax. "And I love each and every one of you."

About an hour later, Gracie and Lyla were helping Gemma clean up while the guys sat on the sofas and talked. She was just about to take a bag of trash outside when she heard Chibs voice call out, "Grace, my love! Come here and show me your ink."

Juice was sitting by Happy on one of the couches and they both watched as Gracie smiled and blushed before walking over to where Chibs, Bobby, and Kozik were sitting.

Hap patted Juice on the back. "What do you think of it, brother?"

Juice watched as Gracie lifted her shirt up again, exposing her pale, flat stomach to his brothers' all too eager eyes. He just shook his head and smirked. "It's great, but I think I should have let you put it on her arm."

* * *

Just a short time later, Clay announced that it was time for church and all the guys headed into the chapel, the last one in being Tig who had been cuddling with Luke for most of the morning.

When the doors closed and his brothers all found their seats, Juice listened carefully as Jax once again laid out the details. If everything went to plan, the Russians would be fooled into giving up Jimmy, the feds will believe Jax ratted and will sign off on the deal giving them all reduced sentences, and at the end of the day, both Stahl and Jimmy will finally get what's coming to them.

Clay leaned back in his chair and nodded. "So, we're going to use Chucky's counterfeit cash to fill the bags and then top load it with the money from the feds. That solves the problem of coming up with the two million, but we're still short on manpower. We can't afford not to have every man we got at the exchange."

Jax smashed his cigarette in an ashtray before looking to Clay. "So what do we do? We need someone to get Jimmy back to the garage."

Clay leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table as he looked at all his brothers. "I have a suggestion, but none of you are gonna like it."

* * *

Gracie was trying to calm Juice down as he anxiously took the bullet proof vest and placed it over Gracie's head, securing it tightly at her sides. "Baby, I'll be fine. I'm just driving. And Phil and Miles will be with me the whole time."

Juice placed his hands on the sides of her face. "If anything goes wrong…"

Gracie just shook her head and did her best to suppress any nervousness she was feeling. "Nothing will go wrong, Juice. I'm going to fine. I can do this."

He just looked at her and sighed before pulling her forward and wrapping her tightly in his arms, her head tucked under his chin. "Why couldn't you let Tara do this, Gracie Jane? She volunteered."

Gracie clasped her arms around his back and leaned her head up slightly to kiss the side if his neck. "She's pregnant, Juice. I'm not going to let my niece or nephew be put in any kind of danger when I'm perfectly capable of handling this." She pulled back just slightly so she could look at him and then rose up slightly on her tip toes to give him a small, sweet kiss. "Now stop worrying about me, Ortiz. I mean it. Focus on what you need to do. Just stay safe and protect your brothers. Everyone will be ok and we'll be back here before you know it."

Juice knew that she was trying to convince herself just as much as him, but he couldn't help but feel proud at how brave she was being. He ran his thumbs back and forth over her cheeks a few times before leaning down and kissing her once more. "I love you."

Gracie nodded and softly smiled. "Love you, Juan Carlos. Forever." She stared into his eyes a moment longer before slowly turning and walking towards her car.

Juice watched her until she had closed the door of her Mustang and then walked over to the row of bikes where the rest of the club was getting ready to ride out. He looked around for a minute before he found the brother he was looking for. "Hey, Chibs? Can I talk to you for a second?"

Chibs walked over and patted Juice on the shoulder. "What is it, Juicey?"

Juice glanced over to the Mustang again before staring back at his best friend. "Listen, I know that Piney and Ope and Koz will all look after Gracie, but she's gonna need you." He looked down at the ground as the realization of being separated from his girl for over a year hit him like a bullet. "She's so fucking strong, but she's going to be scared and lonely and just…" He looked back up to Chibs, whose own eyes were now filled with sadness. "She loves you, brother. And I trust you more than anyone. Promise me you'll take care of her."

Chibs placed his gloved hand on the back of Juice's neck and squeezed before nodding. "I promise."

When Juice climbed onto his bike, Chibs turned to walk away, but he stopped when he heard his brother's voice call out. "Oh, and Chibs?"

"Yeah, Juicey?"

"If Kozik ever says the words 'prison clause' to Gracie, punch him in the face for me."

Chibs just nodded and laughed. "Consider it done."

* * *

Gracie and Tara were sitting together outside on one of the picnic tables with Gemma and Lyla when they heard the roar of the Harleys, and they were all flooded with relief when they saw that the men they loved were back in one piece. But any happiness they felt quickly vanished when, just a few moments later, a team of federal agent swarmed onto the lot.

From there it was chaos. Stahl demanded to know where Jimmy was, and before they knew it, Tig and Juice were opening the garage door and the Irishman was being led out in handcuffs. Clay was demanding to know how the ATF knew Jimmy's location and then all hell broke loose when Stahl told everyone that Jax had made a deal.

Gracie looked on in horror as Jax tried to rush Stahl; Clay screaming that Jax was a dead man and all the other guys shouting in disbelief that their vice president could be a rat. Tears sprang to her eyes when Gracie heard Jax tell Stahl, "You just signed my death warrant," and they fell down her face as Tara ran to his side and threw her arms around his neck, sobbing. Gemma was inconsolable, barely being held up by Lyla, and her grief stricken voice was pleading with her husband not to kill her son.

Gracie felt lost and confused and terrified, and the only thing she wanted was Juice. But by this point, he was already in handcuffs and being led to the police van along with his brothers. She tried to make eye contact with him, but like the rest of Samcro, his angry, betrayed eyes were only focused on Jax.

Still, she never took her eyes off of him until the doors of the van slammed shut and then she watched helplessly as it drove out of the lot and towards Stockton. She felt numb as she turned and went to Tara, drifting on autopilot to the arms of her best friend and hugging her tightly. And it was only then, in the quiet aftermath of the heartbreaking disaster she'd just witnessed, that something finally occurred to her…

_Where the hell are Chibs, Koz, Ope, and Piney?_

* * *

A few hours later, Gracie was back at her apartment staring blankly at the television with a sleeping Luke curled up in her lap. She stayed with the girls for a little while at TM, but none of them could stand to be there for very long without the guys, and they all decided they wanted to be alone. Lyla drove Gemma back to her house, and Tara headed back to her place with Abel. Gracie texted and called Chibs several times, but after receiving no response, she too eventually climbed into her car and headed home.

She was gulping down her second double of Jameson when there was a knock at her door. She opened it and, just for a moment, her grief was ebbed by relief when she saw her Scotsman standing in front of her. He barely had time to take a step inside before she had thrown her arms around him, hugging him with everything she had. "I've been so worried about you."

Chibs kissed the top of her head and then pulled back to look at her and brush her messy auburn waves away from her tear-stained face. The pure sadness in her eyes broke his heart. "I'm sorry, love. I saw your calls, but I couldn't answer." Then he reached his hand into the inside of his kutte and pulled out a plain white envelope. "I have something for you, sweet girl. Come on."

He guided her back into the living room and sat down beside her on the sofa. Then he picked up the half empty bottle of whiskey off the table and downed a few gulps as he watched Gracie stare at the envelope in confusion before taking it from his hands.

Gracie slowly opened the letter and ran her fingers longingly over the words on the page when she realized that they were in Juice's handwriting…

_Gracie,_

_If you're reading this, that means everything happened the way it was supposed to. Jax was never a rat. He just pretended to be so that we would only have to serve short time. Jimmy and Stahl are both dead, which means that our family is finally safe._

_I'm so sorry that I had to hide this from you, but Stahl had to believe that Jax had really turned. We needed everything to look real, including your reaction. But still, I'm sorry._

_So, if we keep our heads down and stay out of trouble, we'll be out in 14 months. I know that's still a long time, but it's a hell of a lot better than the years we would have served if Jax wouldn't have come through for us._

_You already know how much I love you. So just know that I'll be thinking of you, every second of every minute of every day, until I get to hold you again. _

_I'm going to find my way back to you, Gracie Jane. And then I'm going to give you the life you always wanted._

_Forever,_

_Juan Carlos_

She didn't know how many times she read and reread the letter before finally looking up at Chibs. He placed his hand on her cheek and wiped her tears away and then leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "I promised him I'd take care of you, and I meant it. Whatever you need, love. I'll be right here."

There were a million questions running through her mind that she wanted to ask him. _Do Tara and Gemma know? How did Stahl and Jimmy die? Will they get caught? Will Juice and everyone else she loved be safe inside? _But as a fresh wave of tears streamed down her face, her small, fragile voice could only say one thing. "I miss him."

"I know, sweet girl. I know." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, letting her cry and whispering comforting words in her ear. And even after her tears had dried, Chibs stayed by her side, helping her finish the rest of the Jameson and holding her hand, each of them finding comfort in the simple presence of the other.

A few hours later when the whiskey and adrenaline had finally taken its toll, Gracie looked over to see that Chibs had passed out beside her. She quietly stood and guided his exhausted body down so that he was lying across the couch. Then she took off his boots and went to the closet, pulling out a blanket and gently laying it over him.

Gracie leaned down and kissed his cheek before turning off the lights and scooping Luke up into her arms. Then she took a few steps towards her bedroom door, but paused for just a moment to look back at her sleeping friend.

And for the first time since that morning, a small smile crossed her lips. She knew that the next year would be the hardest of her life; that she would be worried and heartbroken and lonely every single day that she had to live without Juice by her side. But when she thought about Tara and Chibs and Gemma and everyone else she had in her life to help her through it, she knew that she would be ok…_because I finally have a family._

Gracie went to her bedroom and crawled under the covers, and she grinned as she watched Luke curl into a little ball on Juice's pillow. She reached out her hand and ran it over the cool, empty sheets beside her before quickly saying a little prayer. She asked God to protect Juice and everyone else while they were in prison, and then she thanked him for bringing so many beautiful people into her life.

A few minutes later, Gracie fell into a peaceful sleep, comforted by the last thought that went through her mind…

_I know that I'll be lonely, but I know I'm not alone._

**Please review**


	42. Chapter 42

**I can't believe I'm updating this fast! I got called off work today and had nothing to do, so I actually got to write! Yay!**

**So, I'm trying a different format for this one. It's shorter than most of my updates, but I'm really happy with how it turned out and didn't feel like I needed to add anything. I really loved writing it, and I hope you all like is as much as I do. Please review and let me know!**

Chapter 42

_1 month inside…_

Bobby was sitting on his bed and grinned when he saw the letter sitting on his pillow. Every day in prison was shittier than the one before, but everyone felt better when they got a note from their little ray of sunshine.

_Dear Bobby,_

_Hey there Elvis. How are you holding up? I miss you so much, and I can't believe I have another 13 months before I get to eat your scones and hear you sing me a song._

_Speaking of you baking for me, as soon as you get out, you have to come over and try out my new kitchen. It's so fun to cook in, but at this rate I think I'm wearing it out._

_The guys all showed up at my apartment the day after you all went inside and before I knew it, I was completely moved out of my apartment and into the new house. That night I told them I'd make them all dinner anytime, and they have reminded me of that almost every day since._

_Every night that I'm not working, at least one of the guys comes over. Chibs always wants shepherd's pie, Kozik likes meatloaf, Opie and Piney eat enough fried chicken to feed a small country, and Phil…well, Phil eats everything._

_But honestly, I love it. They keep me busy and make my house feel lived in, and I know that they're here to look after me just as much as they're here for the food. And just having them around makes me feel closer to Juice, like taking care of his brothers is somehow taking care of him too._

_Anyway, I love you and miss you and promise to visit you soon. Stay safe._

_Love, _

_Grace_

* * *

_3 months inside…_

Tig was just coming back from the yard when the guard came around to deliver today's mail, and he grinned when the guy yelled out "Trager!" to let him know he had a letter. Red never once failed to write to him.

_Dear Tig,_

_To answer the questions you asked in your last letter: Yes, I love you; Yes, I know you're lonely; No, I will not ever tell you what kind of underwear I'm wearing. You're lucky I think you're a sweetheart in spite of your pervy tendencies._

_I hope you're doing your best to stay out of trouble, Tiggy. I worry about all of you keeping your heads in there, but I think I worry about you the most. Just remember, no fighting. I want to see you all paroled in exactly 11 months and not a minute later._

_I've been as good as I can be, I guess. My life has definitely fallen into a routine. I work every Thursday and Friday as well as every Saturday that I'm not visiting you guys, because those are the busiest shift in the ER and a busy day helps me to keep my mind off everything. And as much as I know you hate it, Koz has been doing a great job taking care of Luke on the days I work. But don't worry, I still show him your picture and tell him that Uncle Tiggy is better than Uncle Kozik, just like you asked me to._

_Every Sunday we all still hang out at Gemma's, just watching TV or playing cards, and then have our big family dinner. But it's never once felt right, not when half of our family is missing._

_I've been driving down to Bakersfield every Monday to visit Happy's mom, who is absolutely amazing and one of the coolest women I've ever met. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I babysit Abel or help out at TM, whatever Gemma needs me to do. And I still watch Ellie, Kenny, and Piper every Wednesday night, which is now officially Opie and Lyla's date night._

_Then Thursday comes around and I start all over again._

_Basically, I just try to stay busy and try to stay connected to our family. You probably think it's really boring but, like you guys, I'm just trying to get by one day at a time._

_Anyway, write to me soon and let me know how you're doing. I'll come to visit you again in a couple of weeks._

_Love,_

_Grace_

* * *

_6 months inside…_

Happy usually waited until just before bed to read Gracie's letters because he liked her words to be the last thing in his mind before he fell asleep. So when the lights were turned out and the prison was finally quiet, he switched on his small flashlight and opened the envelope. He smiled when he saw the photo she had sent. Gracie was sitting beside his mom on a park bench surrounded by flowers, the sun brightly shining and reflecting the copper and gold flecks in Gracie's hair. They were holding hands and smiling at the camera, and Hap couldn't help but think in that moment that if angels were real, he was staring at the two prettiest ones that ever existed.

_Dear Hap,_

_I hope you like the picture I sent. I took Maria to the Bakersfield Botanical Gardens last week and we had a great time. She loves the flowers and the sunshine, and I think the fresh air does her body and her spirit good._

_As you know, her most recent round of chemo ended a few weeks ago, and so far so good. She's gaining some strength back every day and has finally started putting a little weight back on. The doctors still say that the cancer is aggressive, but the treatments are giving her more time and she's maintaining her quality of life. I can see where you get your strength, Happy. She's a fighter and one of the most determined, bravest people I've ever known._

_I could sit and listen to her stories for hours…well, actually, that's exactly what I do. She told me all about leaving Havana and coming to Miami in the 60's, learning English, and working any job she could find. And then she told me that one day a salesman from California came into the diner where she was working as a waitress and the minute she saw him, she fell in love. That man was Richard Lowman, although I'm sure you already knew that. Maria says it was like a lightning bolt, honest to god love at first sight._

_She told me that he passed away in a car accident when you were just a baby. I'm so sorry, Hap. I know what it's like to lose a parent that way, although I can't imagine how hard it must have been to have never known him. But Maria says that she can see Richard every day in the man that you've become._

_But of course, her favorite stories are about you. She's so proud of you, Happy, and she loves you so much. You've obviously been a good son and taken great care of her. She simply adores you. So, long story short, I have a full arsenal of information on you now. Naked baby pictures, first day of school photos, prom pictures…I've seen them all. You were kind of adorable, Happy Lowman._

_So, that's what we've been up to. I'll write you another letter next week after I visit her again. This time I'm taking her to your Aunt Rosa's house where they're both insisting I get a Cuban cooking lesson. She promised to teach me her recipes for Ropa Vieja and Tres Leches cake. She said those are your favorites._

_I miss you, Hap. We both do. Promise me you'll take care of yourself. Stay whole and keep safe. I'll see you again in a couple of weeks on visiting day._

_With Love,_

_Grace_

_P.S., Your mom finally slipped and told me your real name. I promise I won't tell anyone, but just for the record, I think it suits you._

* * *

_8 months inside…_

Jax grinned when he saw Gracie's letter. He was more than half way through his sentence, and she had never once missed writing to him or skipped a single visiting day. And more than that, she'd taken care of Tara and his family with everything she had. And as he read the words on the pages in front of him, he kept wondering how he was every going to find a way to repay her for all she'd done.

_Dear Jax,_

_Well, it's official. You and your Teller genes make the most beautiful babies on the planet. Thomas is perfect and just takes my breath away._

_Tara did amazing, Jax. You would have been so proud of her. There was no screaming or crying. In typical Knowles fashion, she just focused on the job at hand and did what she needed to do. She was in labor for about seven hours, but only pushed for 45 minutes before the newest Mr. Teller decided to give his mom a break and say hello._

_Gemma and I were both in the room, and seeing him born was one of the greatest moments of my life. I'm so thrilled to be his Aunt Gracie and to get to be a part of his life, a part of all your lives._

_Gem and I have been taking turns sleeping at your house since they got released from the hospital. Of course Tara is trying to do everything herself, but at least we can take care of Abel and clean the house while she's napping or nursing Thomas._

_Speaking of Abel, he is such an awesome big brother. He is constantly asking to help feed him and change his diaper, and Gemma says that's exactly how you were with your little brother when he was born._

_But as good as they're doing, they need you home. Abel kisses your picture every night before bedtime and Tara…I don't know. She's good and she's happy, but I get the feeling there's something she's keeping from me. Maybe it's just the weight of everything going on and the massive change of motherhood. Whatever it is, I'll find out and I'll help her through it. Don't you worry._

_I can't wait for you to come home. I swear I thought my heart stopped beating when I first learned about your stabbing all those months ago. And since then, it's meant so much to me to visit you and see you and know that you're healthy and recovered and just as strong as ever. But seeing you across that little visitors table just isn't enough._

_I miss my brother and I want him home._

_Thomas and Tara obviously won't be able to come this weekend, so I'll be there with Gem and Abel. As always, I can't wait to see you._

_Until then all my love,_

_Grace_

* * *

_13 months inside…_

Juice woke up in the middle of the night, as he often did since he'd been in prison. He was having the same dream again, the same one he'd had almost every night for the past 13 months. He was in bed with Gracie, kissing her lips, licking her skin, smelling her hair and making her laugh. He was on top of her, his body cradled between her thighs, and she was staring up at him, smiling. He looked into her beautiful sea green eyes and saw nothing but happiness shining back and, just for a moment, everything was ok. They were together, in their home, living their life, just like they should be. And then she tells him she loves him, but before he can say it back, he always wakes up, every time.

And just like every other night when he can't fall back to sleep, Juice flipped on the small reading light he had on his bunk and picked up one of Gracie's letters. And as he read her words over and over again, he could swear he could almost hear the sweet sound of her voice echoing through the pages.

_Juice,_

_I can't believe we only have one more month. One more month until I know you're safe, one more month until you're in our home, one more month until I get to kiss you and hold you and make love to you like I dream about every night._

_Just like you asked, I've tried my best not to live the last 13 months of my life standing still. I'm working as much as I can, spending time with our family, running, reading, playing with Luke, and getting the house ready for you to come home. _

_But all of that only helps me during the day time. It all changes as night._

_At night, I ache for you. I lay in our bed and close my eyes and pretend that you're next to me, sleeping by my side. I imagine that you're facing me and I can study all the beautiful angles of your face and I swear sometimes it seems so real that I think I can hear you breathing._

_Because I miss the sound of you breathing. I miss resting my head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat. I miss the sound of your voice when you tell me goodnight._

_And I miss you touching me, baby. So many nights I've taken off my clothes and crawled into bed and let my hands run all over my body. I pretend it's your calloused fingertips running back and forth over my lips, your strong hands cupping and squeezing my breasts, your long fingers playing with my pussy until I'm throbbing and wet. And when I come, I always scream your name, hoping that if I say it loud enough, that maybe somehow you'll hear me._

_I have some bad nights, when I crave you and need you and miss you so badly that I just can't fall asleep. On those nights, I get out of bed and go to the closet and put on one of your t-shirts. Then I go to the kitchen and get a shot of Jameson, but I always drink it out of your coffee cup, praying each time that somehow I'll taste you. And then I go back to bed and will myself to sleep, comforted by the fact that every morning I wake up is one more closer to the day you come home to me._

_Just one more month, baby. One more month and this will all just be a bad memory. One more month and we will never have to know what it's like to be lonely ever again._

_I'm going to love you forever, Juan Carlos._

_Yours always,_

_Gracie Jane_

* * *

**Please review…**


	43. Chapter 43

**Finally, here is the beginning of season 4! Sorry this took so long. I had a hard time figuring out how to approach this chapter. I know exactly how this season will end, but I want to make sure I'm starting it in just the right way. Obviously I'm making some critical changes to the canon, and I want to make sure it all makes sense. I know you're all nervous about what will happen to our Juice, but just have faith in me. I think you'll be happy in the end. Love you guys and thanks for the continued support!**

**Just FYI, there's going to be some serious M rated smut in this chapter, like…the dirtiest chapter I've ever written. So, yeah…you've been warned. But I mean, come on, they haven't done it in 14 months :)**

**Oh and also, just wanted to thanks to all the reviewers, especially the guests since I can't thank you personally, for continuing to give me feedback and for asking me to update when it's been a little too long. It really does motivate me to sit down and write, and sometimes I need the push. So, as always, thank you!**

Chapter 43

Gracie stood in the lot next to Tara, wringing her hands together and nervously biting her lower lip. Butterflies were coursing through her stomach so fast she thought she might fly away, and she was so excited that she was almost shaking. After 14 agonizing months of worry, loneliness, and heartache, Juice was finally coming home.

"Hey, how are you two holding up?" Gracie glanced up and smiled at Gemma as the older woman wrapped her arms around her and Tara.

Gracie was certain she was the only one that noticed the way Tara flinched at Gemma's touch, but ignored it for now as she smiled up at Gem. "I don't know why I feel so anxious."

Gemma just grinned as she tightened her hold on the girls. "Your man is coming home after more than a year inside. It's ok to be nervous, baby. Just remember, you already made it through the hard part." Then she kissed Gracie and Tara each on the forehead. "You both did good. I'm so proud of you."

Then Gemma turned and looked at Tara, who had Thomas cradled in her arms, love shining in her eyes. "Especially you, Mommy."

Gracie tried not to let her confusion show as she saw Tara flash a smile that she knew was forced. _What the hell is going on with her?_

She was just about to pull Tara aside when she felt Lyla come up to her side and squeeze her hand. "Are you ready for this, Gracie?"

Grace turned to face Lyla and smiled broadly. Since the day the guys went inside, Lyla had quickly become Gracie and Tara's third sister. Apparently while Grace was in Ireland, Tara and Lyla had bonded and gotten over whatever initial resentment they had towards one another. _And seriously, how could you not love Ly? _Lyla worked hard, loved fiercely, and gave everything she had to Opie and the kids. She was always calling Gracie and Gemma to check in on them, offering to go shopping or hang out, and was more than willing to help Tara with the boys whenever she needed it. The little blonde had a heart of gold, just like Ope, and Gracie adored her.

Gracie just shook her head and grinned. "Don't you think I should be asking you that question, Miss soon-to-be Lyla Winston? You're the one walking down the aisle in about eight hours."

True to their word, Lyla and Opie had refused to get married until all of their family could be there, only finalizing the date when they knew the exact day the guys were all getting released.

Lyla beamed. "I can't believe it's finally happening. So don't forget, you and Tara need to be at the reservation by six o'clock."

Gracie nodded. She was so excited that Lyla had asked her to be a bridesmaid, with Tara being her maid of honor. Tara was obviously going to be paired with Jax, while Gracie was going to be walking with her Scotsman. "Don't worry. We'll be there right on time and everything is going to be perfect."

Lyla just smirked. "I know you think you'll be there on time, but Juice might have other plans. Just tell him no visible hickies and to make sure you can still walk at the end of the night."

"Oh my god, Ly!"

Lyla just laughed as she watched Gracie turn completely red and hide her face in her hands. _Yeah, embarrassing this girl is never going to get old._

They were both still laughing a few moments later when they finally heard the rumble of the Harley engines coming down the street…

* * *

Juice always felt at peace riding on his Harley, but as he flew down the highway with his brothers away from Stockton Penitentiary, he was overwhelmed with the euphoria of his freedom. He had done time before, but the 14 months he had just served was by far his longest stretch. Every moment he was locked up, Juice had felt anxious, claustrophobic, and somehow less than human. But now with the wind blowing all around him and the warm California sun beating down on his face, he was slowly coming back to life. Guiding his Dyna and feeling it's power beneath him gave Juice the first sense of control he'd felt since going inside. He was alive, his club was reuniting, and his family was safe.

Now he just needed his wife.

_God, I'm so fucking proud of her._ From the day they went inside, Gracie had been amazing. There were so few things in Juice's life that he could really count on, but like clockwork his girl had sent a weekly letter, never once missed one of his phone calls, and showed up at every single visiting day with a smile on her face.

Juice sighed as he thought back to every time Gracie had come to the prison to see him. Those days were both the best and the hardest of his entire sentence. The best because he got to hold her hand, feel her skin, and smell her hair while they briefly hugged. The best because every time she showed up was another day he knew for certain that she had stayed, that she hadn't gotten tired of waiting for him, that she hadn't given up on him.

But they were the hardest because he couldn't touch her like he wanted. The hardest because, in spite of her smile and laughter and brave face, he could see how much weight she'd lost, see the dark circles and bags around her eyes that were never there before, see the sadness that she tried so hard to hide behind pretty eyes and a gorgeous smile. She tried her best to never let it show, but he knew that every day they were separated was breaking her heart, and it fucking killed him.

But none of that mattered now. None of it. Because there were only a few more miles to go until he rode back into Charming and back to his Gracie. And he would spend the rest of his life by her side, trying like hell to erase all the pain that the last 14 months had caused her.

* * *

As she heard the roar of the engines get closer, Gracie nervously looked down at her clothes, quickly smoothing down her gray tank top and fixing the cuffs on her skinny jeans. She'd thought about dressing up for Juice's return, but then she figured that he would probably just want to see her looking like her old, familiar self. So she had just picked out her usual jeans and cotton tank with her beat up black converse.

And just a moment later, she finally saw all the guys coming onto the lot. Her heart swelled when she saw all of Samcro riding together for the first time in over a year, but she was sure it stopped beating when her eyes landed on her husband.

Gracie took just a moment to get her bearings, hit so hard with the relief of seeing him safe and free that, for a second, she thought she might pass out. But after a deep breath her feet started moving on autopilot, slowly at first and then running as she got closer and closer to Juice.

As soon as he climbed off his bike, Juice quickly removed his helmet and turned towards the clubhouse, but he didn't even have time to take a step before Gracie ran to him, jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist.

_Oh my god, he's home. He's really home. _Gracie buried her face in his neck as she held onto him with every ounce of strength she possessed. She felt Juice lean his head against her hair and breathe in deeply, and as he tightened his hold on her and she was crushed even harder against his body, she couldn't stop herself from crying.

When Juice felt the tears on his neck he carefully lowered Gracie's feet to the ground and pulled back slightly so that he could see her face. Her eyes were shining and bright, and her pale skin was just starting to flush. _Prettiest girl in the world. _He tucked a loose piece of copper hair behind her ear and then placed his hands on her cheeks, shaking his head and smiling. "Hey. No crying sweetheart. I want to see you smile today."

Gracie bit her lip and nodded, unable to stop her tears but smiling widely. "I'm sorry. I'm just…I'm just so happy." Then she moved her hands so that they rested on his chest as she looked every inch of him over. His trademark mohawk had been replaced with a head full of jet black hair, and he had a neatly trimmed mustache and goatee. He had lost a little weight since being inside, which only made his chiseled jaw and cheekbones more prominent. But none of that mattered to Gracie because his eyes, and his heart, and his soul were all still the same. He was still her Juan Carlos, and he had found his way back to her.

Without another moment passing, she leaned up on the tips of her toes and kissed him with everything she had. Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck as his arms moved to hold her hips, and as soon as she felt him sigh against her mouth and part his lips, she finally got to taste him. Her tongue moved against his slowly and passionately, and she was lost to everything else in the world except the sensation of being in his arms again. The softness of his lips contrasted with the forcefulness of his kiss made her dizzy and the feel of his hard, muscular body pressed up against her breasts made her ache. She hadn't been this turned on in over a year and with every touch and taste and kiss, she could feel herself getting wetter.

"Baby…" Gracie sighed against his lips and was just about to drag him back to his dorm room when they were brought back to reality by the sound of Clay's voice.

"Alright, we got church!"

Gracie groaned as she reluctantly pulled herself away from Juice, but smiled when she saw the expression on his face. He looked completely dazed and drunk and, for the first time since going to prison, honestly and truly happy.

She wiped her lip gloss off of his lips with her thumb before kissing him sweetly once more. "You're really here."

Juice grinned before resting his forehead against hers. "I'm really here." He wrapped one of his hands around the back of her neck and then kissed her forehead. "I don't know how long this'll take."

Gracie gave him a small smile and nodded. "Do you want me to wait for you here?"

Juice just shook his head as he moved his hands back down to Gracie's hips and then let them travel to her ass before he gently squeezed. He leaned down against her ear and whispered, his warm breath sending shivers all over her body. "I want you at home, Gracie Jane. I want you waiting for me. I want you ready. Ok, sweetheart?"

Gracie looked into his eyes, the gorgeous brown slightly darkened, and she couldn't stop herself from bringing her hips forward and barely grinding against him, feeling his hardened length against her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned forward to kiss the side of his neck.

Juice sighed when he felt her lips move against his skin, her voice quiet and so fucking sexy. "I'll be ready, baby. I promise."

When she held him a little closer and he felt the curves of her breasts press harder against his chest, he tangled one of his hands in her hair and leaned down to kiss her again. But just before his lips made contact, he heard his brother's voice calling out. "Yo, Juicey-boy! Get your little Puerto Rican ass to church. We're waiting on you."

Juice leaned his head back and groaned in frustration. _Fucking Chibs. _Then he glanced back down at Gracie and grinned when he saw the sweet, playful smile on her face. "See you at home?"

Gracie just smiled and nodded. "See you at home."

Juice squeezed her hips one last time before turning and walking towards the clubhouse. She watched him go, still in awe of the simple sight of him, and then smiled when, just before reaching the door, he turned to her and yelled across the lot. "Hey Gracie?"

"Yeah, Ortiz?"

For the first time in way too long, Gracie smiled as she watched Juice flash his big, flirty grin and wink at her. "I love you."

A small sweet grin crossed her face as she looked at the man who was and always would be her everything. "Love you too, baby."

* * *

Two hours later, Juice was finally pulling his bike into the driveway of the house he hadn't seen since the night before he got locked up. _Jesus, what a fucking day._ Church consisted of being filled in on the last year of club business, learning more info about the new sheriff in town, getting his back pay, finalizing the details of the meet with the Russians, and then talking about the plan for Opie's wedding, which was doubling as a business meeting with Putlova and the Mayans. Then he actually had some fun leading the cops on a high speed chase while giving Clay, Jax, and Ope time to get to the strip club to meet the Russians. But even while sitting on the side of the highway, loving the feel of the warm sunshine and laughing with his brothers, all he could think about was getting back to Gracie.

He practically ran to the front door but paused before entering. He was holding to key in his hand and when he looked down at it he realized he was trembling. He couldn't describe it, but opening that door somehow felt like walking into a stranger's house without knocking. _But it's not a stranger's house. It's my house…where I live with my wife and where we'll make a life together. It's the family and the home I've always wanted._ And with that thought in his mind he took a deep breath and opened the door.

When Juice walked inside, he didn't notice the house that Gracie had somehow transformed into a warm, inviting home for the two of them. He didn't notice the newly painted walls, or the family photos in new frames, or the plants and art and flowers scattered around each room. All of that would come later. The only thing he saw, the only thing he cared about, was his beautiful wife smiling up at him from the corner of their sofa.

Gracie stood from where she had been sitting on the couch and put the book she was reading down on the coffee table. His eyes never left hers as she flashed him a sexy grin and then winked at him before reaching for the hem of her tank top, pulling it over her head, and then throwing it in his direction.

He smiled when he easily caught it in one hand and he almost fucking cried when he heard the gorgeous sound of Gracie softly giggling. He raised the tank top to his face and inhaled deeply, never able to get enough of her scent, before looking back to his girl.

He couldn't hide the need in his voice. "I want you, Gracie."

Gracie just bit her lip and nodded before walking backwards down the hallways towards their bedroom. "Then come and get me, Ortiz."

In an instant they were both running for the bedroom, Juice quickly catching up to Gracie and grabbing her from behind. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her hard against him, her back nestled close against his chest. His hands were everywhere, squeezing her hips, cupping her breasts, and pressing against the flat plane of her stomach. He was kissing her shoulder, addicted to the taste of her skin, and gently biting up and down the column of her neck, desperate after so long apart to mark her once again as his.

His touch was already rough and frenzied, but when he felt Gracie arch her back and grind her ass against his already rigid cock, he lost all control. "Christ sweetheart, I gotta fuck you. I can't wait."

Gracie turned around in his arms and kissed him hard, tangling her tongue against his and licking and sucking his lips as Juice backed her up against the bed. As Gracie fell backwards onto the mattress, they both frantically took off the rest of their clothes, but when she caught sight of his bare chest, she sat back up and gasped. "Baby..."

Juice looked down at what Gracie was staring at and smiled. Across the left side of his chest just over his heart, in big gorgeous black and gray cursive script was tattooed 'Gracie Jane'. He had Happy do it the first month they were inside, anxious to have her name inked on him forever just like she had done with his. But he had never told her about it. He wanted it to be a surprise. "Do you like it?"

Gracie couldn't speak as she rose up from the bed and reached her hand out, tracing the letters on his chest with her fingertips. She just bit her lip and nodded, blinking away the tears from her eyes, before softly smiling up at him.

Juice didn't waste another moment as he guided her back down to the bed and climbed over her body, kissing her again as he used one of his hands to squeeze her breast before letting it quickly travel down her side. When he found her center he pressed his finger tips against her clit, causing her to moan, before slipping a finger inside.

Juice groaned when he felt Gracie's wetness all around his hand. "Fuck, sweetheart. You're ready for me, aren't you?"

Gracie was already panting as she reached her hands up to her breasts and started playing with her tits. He had barely touched her but she was aching for him. "Please, baby…"

Juice was shaking as he grasped his painfully hard dick in his hands and ran it through Gracie's wet folds, only pausing just long enough to look into her eyes and whisper, "I love you," before driving his entire length inside of her, sheathing himself with one quick thrust.

He immediately dropped his head to Gracie's chest and groaned. Not since their first time had he come so close to coming the minute he got inside of her. But feeling her now, tighter and more perfect than he could ever remember, he was reminded of just how long it had been since they'd been together. _So fucking long._

He did his damndest to stay still as he felt Gracie's walls slightly relax around him, adjusting to his size, and then he slowly started to move.

Juice placed one of his arms by Gracie's head, using the other to grab her thigh and lift it higher around his waist, deepening his thrusts. And as he looked into her eyes, heard her moans, and felt her walls pulsating around him, he couldn't believe that he had lived through an entire 14 months without fucking her.

"Jesus Christ, Gracie…fuck…" He had only been inside of her a few minutes when he felt his balls tighten and he knew he had no shot at slowing it down. "Sweetheart. I'm not gonna last."

Gracie locked her legs around his waist, bringing him even deeper as she raised her hips to meet his. She wrapped her hands around the back of his neck and nodded. "It's ok, baby. I want you to come. I want to feel it. Please."

He couldn't hold back anymore. Juice pounded into her, driving as hard and as fast as he could for a few more moments until his rhythm finally broke and he exploded. "God damn…fuck, Gracie!" He threw his head back in pleasure as he emptied himself, lost in the intensity of his first good orgasm in over a year, before collapsing down on top of her and burying his head in her shoulder.

A few moments later Juice came back down to Earth, still panting and hazy. He was still cradled between Gracie's thighs and her fingertips were trailing lazily up and down the length of his back. He rose up just enough to start kissing the side of her neck, licking the thin layer of sweat that had started to form, before slowly making his way past her collar bone and down to her breasts.

Gracie closed her eyes and sighed as Juice started sucking on one of her still hardened nipples, her nails digging into his back. "Baby...baby, you don't have to…" Silently she was begging for him to continue, her body still on edge and throbbing, but she knew he had to be exhausted from the day and probably wanted to rest.

Juice never raised his eyes to her, just lifted his mouth long enough to blow on her nipple, his hand starting to play with her other breast. "You didn't come yet, Gracie Jane. And every day since we've been apart, I've dreamed about seeing you come." He lowered his head back down and sucked on her nipple, taking the raised bud between his teeth and biting down gently until she was whimpering. "I want to see your skin turn pink all over when you get hot for me." Then he licked across her chest until his mouth was on her other breast. "I want to feel you shaking." Then he licked and sucked, giving that side the same amazing treatment. "I want to hear you scream, sweetheart."

Then, when Gracie thought she couldn't take anymore, he quickly moved down her body, kissing a path down her stomach, before reaching her aching core. "And I want to taste your pussy when you come."

Gracie cried out the moment Juice's tongue came in contact with her clit. "Oh my god! Fuck, Juice!"

He was ravenous, unable to get enough of the smell and feel and sight of her. Her back was arching off the bed with her hands cupping her tits, and when she reached her hands down to his head, tangling her hands in his short black hair and pulling it so that his face was even closer, he could feel his dick start to twitch, once again starting to harden.

He used his thumbs to spread her farther open and blew on her pussy before diving in again, licking her relentlessly before swirling his tongue in the little circles around her clit that he knew got her off more than anything.

"Oh, shit baby! Oh my god…oh my god…" Gracie's voice was breathless as her thighs started to tremble around him and Juice knew she was close. He took her clit in his mouth and sucked hard for a few more moments, and just when her grasp on his hair tightened almost painfully, he moved his tongue down and thrust it inside her, just in time to feel her come. He kept fucking her with his tongue as she climaxed, loving the sensation of her walls clamping down around his mouth, and drunk on the taste of her amazing juices mixed with his own cum.

Gracie was just starting to come down from her high when Juice rose up onto his knees and took his already fully hardened cock in his hands, stroking it a few times as he took in every inch of her blushing, sweating body. "Roll over, Gracie Jane. I'm not done with you yet."

She quickly rolled onto her belly and got up on her hands and knees, already completely satisfied but still craving more. Juice placed his hands on her ass and squeezed, then gave it a gentle slap before using one hand to grip her hip and the other to guide his dick through her soaking lips.

When he thrust into her, his full length plunging into her core, they both cried out once again. He held both of his hands on her hips so tightly he knew they would bruise and then fucked her, hard but slowly, as he watched his glistening dick disappear in and out between her tight, perfect ass.

Juice couldn't process any thoughts as he drove forcefully inside of her, lost in the feeling of her slick, wet, heat. She felt better than any time he could ever remember before, and he knew in that moment that he could never again go that long without having her. He wouldn't survive it.

As Gracie's moans started to get louder and louder, Juice wrapped one of his hands around the front of her hip and started rubbing her still sensitive clit.

"Fuck! Baby! It's so good…Oh god, Juice!" Her strained voice let out a strangled, panting cry as she arched her back, grinding her ass against him.

"Oh shit, sweetheart! That's it. Come on my dick. Come on, Gracie…" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Gracie shattered around him, her pussy clenching his cock almost painfully before it started quivering and spasming against him.

When he felt a fresh surge of her wetness running out of her and down her thighs, he took his drenched fingers away from her clit and, without warning, pressed one of them against the small rosette above her pussy, letting it sink in a few inches before he started moving it gently in and out, matching the thrusts of his dick.

Gracie screamed in pleasure as her moans became louder and incoherent, and Juice knew that she was coming again and again, her orgasms falling over and into each other like waves.

And as he felt his abdomen tighten and his balls draw upwards, he knew he was only moments from losing it. So after a few hard, erratic thrusts he pulled out, quickly pushing Gracie back down to the mattress and rolling her once again onto her back. Then he did something he'd been fantasizing about ever since the first day he went to prison. He used one of his hands to pin Gracie's arms above her head, while the other hand grasped his cock, pumping it a few more times, before pointing it at Gracie's left side, just below her breast. "Oh, fuck…"

Then as his orgasm overtook him and he let out a deep groan, he fought like hell to keep his eyes open so he could watch as his cum shot all over Gracie's crow, dripping down her ribcage and onto their sheets.

When the last drop left his body, Juice finally lost his strength, falling down onto the bed next to Gracie, so that they were each lying on their backs, panting and breathless, staring blissfully dazed up at the ceiling as they both recovered.

Then he used the last shred of energy left in his spent body to pull the covers over them before turning onto his side, resting his head on Gracie's chest, and wrapping his arm tightly around her waist. And as they both started to drift off to sleep, neither one said a word. They didn't have to. They both knew how much they loved each other and they both knew that they were right back where they needed to be...finally, and for always, together.

**Please review…**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hi everyone! So, here we go further into season 4. This chapter will cover the Winston wedding and will be the last light and fluffy update for a while as we get more into the most critical time in Juice's life. So I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**Also, I'm not going to start another fic until I finish this one, but I would love some feedback on what you want me to write next, if anything :) I probably won't ever write another Juice story, because I honestly don't think I can create a better OC for him than Gracie. But I would love to eventually write an OC story each for Jax, Chibs, Happy, and Kozik. Maybe Half-Sack too. Just let me know what you'd like to read!**

**Lastly, as I was working on this chapter yesterday, I got the notice for my 500****th**** review. I truly never expected this story to get such an amazing response and I can't even begin to express what all your kind words and encouragement have meant to me. There is no way I would have kept writing if not for your amazing support. So I just wanted to say that I love you guys and, as always, thank you.**

**Hope you all like this one! Here we go…**

Chapter 44

Juice woke up about an hour later and smiled when he realized he wasn't lying on the small, hard prison cot that had been his only bed for the last 14 months. Instead, he was buried in soft floral sheets, his head resting on a smooth down pillow, with his arms were draped around the prettiest girl in the world.

Gracie was sprawled across his chest, one of her arms curled loosely around his waist and her head tucked under her chin, her wavy auburn hair tickling his neck. It felt like heaven to wake up with her like that again, but as he looked at the clock, he knew they had to get up. They were both due at the reservation in a couple of hours for Opie and Lyla's wedding.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, tightening his arms around her for a moment before running his fingers up and down the length of her smooth, bare back. When she started to stir, he whispered. "Time to wake up, sweetheart."

He smiled when he heard her grumble as she buried her face into the crook of his neck and shook her head. He could barely hear her sleepy voice muffled against his shoulder. "No it isn't."

Juice just chuckled. _Fucking adorable._ "Believe me, I don't want to go either, sweetheart. But Lyla will have my balls in a vice if you're not there on time."

Gracie groaned before finally raising her head off his chest. Then she took a moment to just stare at him. After a few seconds, she gave him a soft smile before leaning forward and kissing him. "I'm so happy you're home."

Juice swallowed the lump forming in his throat as he brushed away a few strands of messy copper hair from her face. There was so much he wanted to tell her. _I love you. I'm so sorry for leaving you. So sorry for hurting you. I swear I'll never leave you again._ But instead he just returned her small smile and nodded. "Me too." He kissed her again before looking around the room and grinning. "This looks just like our bedroom at the apartment, just bigger. How do you like the house?"

"I should be asking you that question, baby." Juice couldn't take her eyes off of her as a sweet, excited smile spread across her face. He watched as she climbed out of bed and went to the dresser, finding one of his Reaper Crew t-shirts. And as she pulled it over her naked body, he bit his lip and sighed when he saw the way it just barely covered her ass.

She walked back over to him and grabbed his hand, attempting to pull him out of bed, but laughed when he easily pulled her back down against him. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, one hand squeezing her ass while the other tangled itself in her hair.

Gracie half-heartedly tried to pull away when Juice started kissing the side of her neck. "Hey, I thought we had to get ready for the wedding?"

Juice shook his head and tightened his hold on her, grinning when he heard the laughter in her voice. "Changed my mind. Besides, Lyla's tiny. She can't beat me up that bad."

Gracie just giggled. "Yeah, but Opie can. And you don't even want to think about what Gemma will do to you."

He let out an exaggerated sigh and tried to hide his smile. "Fine, woman. You win. Now let's go shower together."

Gracie jumped off the bed as soon as he loosened his arms, reaching down for his discarded boxers and tossing them to him. "Not yet, Ortiz. I want to show you the house. And there's a very special man in my life that you need to get reacquainted with."

He slipped on his boxers and crawled out of bed, lacing his hand through Gracie's and letting her guide him through the hallway. The first room they went to was the second bedroom, which Gracie had set up as a guest room. It had Juice's old full sized bed against the wall which was now covered with a fluffy white comforter and throw pillows. He looked over to the dresser and grinned when he saw items he recognized from the clubhouse; one of Chibs' pocket knives, one of Koz's old Tacoma shirts, and Piney's worn, beat up flask. Gracie had told him that whenever there was a threat to the club, or even if the guys just really needed a break from the craziness of the dorms, one of his brothers would stay here. And it never bothered him; in fact, he was fucking grateful. He knew they loved her like a sister and were just taking care of her since he wasn't around to do it. _Because that's what family does for each other._ He silently reminded himself to thank them all again tonight at the wedding.

They walked a little further down the hallway to the third and smallest bedroom, and when Juice opened the door, his eyes widened in surprise. "Holy shit. Sweetheart, this is fucking awesome."

Gracie wrapped her arms around his waist and grinned. "I thought you'd like it." In the time since he'd been to prison, she had transformed the room into gamer-nerd heaven. His laptop and computer equipment were arranged neatly on a new desk that sat on one side of the room, and it was flanked on both sides by Gracie's old book shelves that now contained their combined comic book collections along with their favorite books, toys, and collectibles. The other side of the room had his big flat screen TV on the wall, all his gaming systems arranged on a console just underneath the TV, and two new top of the line gaming chairs. The walls were covered in old school video game posters that Gracie had found online, Juice's favorite being a big 8-bit Mario Bros. poster that looked just like one that he had hanging in his bedroom as a kid.

He went to sit down in one of the chair and turn on his Xbox, but Gracie pulled him back towards the door. "No time, baby. Let's go get our boy."

Gracie led him back down the hallway and to the dining area where she pulled out a chair from the table. "You might want to sit down. When he gets excited he has a tendency to accidentally knock people over. He has food and a bed in there, but he's not used to being confined and he's been in there since just before you got home."

Juice just smiled as he sat down and watched Gracie walk through the kitchen and to a door that he remembered was the laundry room. And as soon as she opened it, Luke came barreling out, wagging his tail and racing as fast as he could in Juice's direction.

"Whoa, man…I know, I know. I'm happy to see you to." Juice tried to awkwardly hold the enormous dog that had just jumped into his lap and was licking his face nonstop. "Fuck, he's huge!" Gracie had sent him pictures of Luke over the last year but they just didn't do him justice.

Gracie laughed as she walked over and tugged gently on Luke's collar, pulling him back to the floor. "I know. The vet said he's the biggest Pit she's ever seen."

Luke's tail never stopped wagging as he sat beside Juice's chair and rested his head on his lap. Juice just shook his head. "You know, part of the reason I got him for you was for protection, but if this is how he reacts to strange men in the house then he's a pretty crappy guard dog."

Gracie laughed as she knelt down and patted Luke's back. "Yeah, sorry to disappoint you baby, but he's just a lover. He might very well cuddle you to death, but that's about it." Then she looked at Juice and smiled before leaning in and kissing his cheek. "Imagine that. A guy that looks all tough but is really just a sweetheart. Sounds like someone else I know."

Juice grinned as he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Did you just compare me to our dog, Gracie Jane?"

Gracie bit her lip and grinned, nodding softly. "I'm just saying my two guys have a lot in common."

She placed her hands on either side of his face and stared into his eyes, smiling. "I love you so much." She then let her lips fall on his in a gentle, slow kiss, only vaguely aware of Luke pawing at her leg and whimpering for attention. And when she pulled back a few moments later, Juice looked at her with so much love in his eyes it made her almost dizzy.

They enjoyed the moment for just a few more minutes, the three of them a family in their nice, little house. But after a while, Gracie got up and flashed Juice her sexiest grin. "Now how about that shower, Ortiz?"

* * *

Gracie was cursing to herself as she ran along the path to the house where the girls were getting ready. _Shit, shit, shit…Lyla's going to kill me…shit, shit, shit… _She was half an hour late, and her hair was still slightly damp from the shower with Juice that had taken way too long. _Ok, so Ly is definitely going to murder me, but that second round against the bathroom wall was kind of worth it…_As soon as they had gotten out of the shower, Gracie looked at the clock in her room and freaked. She had thrown on the first clothes she could find and raced to the reservation, Juice giving her a quick kiss and telling her that he'd be there as soon as he got ready.

She picked up her pace and just a few minutes later, she swung open the door to see Tara finishing her makeup and Lyla curling her hair.

She was panting as she immediately started to peel off her jeans and t-shirt. "Oh my god, Ly! I am so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I had more time. But don't worry, I'll be ready. I just…"

Gemma cleared her throat. "Uh, Gracie, you might want to keep your clothes on."

Gracie was standing in just her see-threw lace bra and matching underwear and had just reached behind her back to undo the clasp. "Why?"

Just then Jax, Chibs, and Tig all walked in from the other room. Chibs glanced at Gemma and grinned. "Hey Gem, we got those favors you…oh holy mother of Christ! Grace, put some clothes on!"

"Oh my god! Get out!" Gracie reached down as fast as she could and lifted up her discarded clothes against her body in a poor attempt to cover herself, while Tara, trying unsuccessfully to hide her smile, moved to stand in front of her and block the guy's view.

Chibs and Jax both turned around, facing away from her as fast as they could. Chibs groaned, "Jesus, love. You're like my daughter. I'm not supposed to see that…"

Jax looked at Chibs and sighed. "How do you think I feel bro? I just saw my little sister practically naked while my mom and old lady were in the room. I want to gouge my eyes out right now."

Tig was the only one who unabashedly stared, a shit eating grin on his face. "Well Red, it took 14 months, but I finally found out what kind of panties you wear…"

This time all four women yelled out at once. "GET OUT!" Tig was still laughing as Jax and Chibs dragged him back through the other room and out of the house.

Gracie dropped her clothes back on the floor and went to sit down on the couch, mortified, her beet red face shielded in her hands. "Oh my god. Please tell me that did not just happen."

Gemma, Tara, and Lyla all looked at each other for a moment before the three of them erupted in uncontrollable laughter. Gracie just looked up and scowled. "I hate you all."

Tara sat down beside her and placed an arm around Gracie's shoulders. Then she leaned in and kissed her temple, still giggling. "No you don't, Gracie Jane. You love us."

Lyla tried to catch her breath as she wiped tears away from her cheeks. "Oh fuck, that was hilarious. Now I have to redo my eye makeup but it was totally worth it."

Gemma just grinned as she reached for Gracie's bridesmaid dress that was hanging on the back of the door. "Come on, sweetheart. You can die of embarrassment after the wedding. Right now we have to get you dressed and get Lyla down the aisle before Juice hears what happened, kills Tiggy, and ruins the ceremony."

Tara grabbed Gracie's hand and pulled her up so that she could help her into her matching blue strapless dress. Then when she had pulled the zipper all the way up, she guided Gracie to sit down in the chair in front of the table that they were using for makeup.

Gemma walked up behind her and lifted her auburn hair up, sighing when she saw the purple covering her skin. "Now Mrs. Ortiz, let's see how many pounds of concealer it takes to cover all the hickies on your neck.

Gracie was only vaguely aware of Tara and Lyla laughing at her again as she lowered her forehead to the desk and closed her eyes. _Lord, kill me now…_

* * *

It was just an hour later, and Gracie was finally walking down the rocky path to the ceremony. Gemma had done her makeup in pretty, soft pink colors and then swept her hair up in a simple updo that complimented the length of her, thankfully, makeup covered neck. She was carrying a small bouquet of white flowers and had her arm looped through her Scotsman's.

She stared straight ahead and tried to ignore how humiliated she still felt as they walked past the rows and rows of wedding guests. She plastered a small, forced smile on her face and stared straight ahead. "I still can't actually bring myself to look at you."

Chibs grinned and looked down at his redhead, loving the blush in her cheeks. "It's alright, sweet girl. No harm done. We'll all recover…well, except for Tig, who took a punch each from Jax and me."

Gracie just shook her head and groaned. "Oh, good lord. And what about Juice?"

Chibs laughed. "Juicey-boy will be taking Tigger to the ring as soon as possible. God help the poor bastard, because I think your old man is going to rip his heart out. But they promised Gemma no fighting at the wedding, so at least there's that." They took a few more steps when Chibs smiled to himself and tightened his hold on Gracie's hand. "You know, love, this is the second time I've walked you down an aisle…and you look just as beautiful today as you did in Belfast."

Gracie finally turned to look up at his handsome face, meeting his warm brown eyes and giving him a sweet smile. "I love you, Filip Telford."

Chibs just winked at her before returning his gaze forward as they continued to walk arm in arm.

* * *

As Gracie stood behind Tara and watched as Opie and Lyla said their vows to one another, she couldn't stop a stray tear from falling. Everything was perfect. Lyla, her friend and one of the sweetest women she'd ever known, was marrying the man of her dreams. Opie, a man that had suffered such tragedy, was beaming with joy. And Ellie and Kenny, two children that Gracie loved like her own, were getting a step-mother and step-brother that they both truly adored. All the people Gracie loved in the world were happy, and it simply overwhelmed her.

Gracie let her eyes drift over the crowd for a moment and she saw that all eyes were on the bride and groom; well, all except for a pair of gorgeous dark brown orbs that hadn't left her face since the moment the ceremony began. She looked down at her husband, who was sitting by Hap and Bobby, and smiled. He looked so handsome wearing a dressy white button down under his kutte, his jet black hair that she still wasn't quite used to perfectly styled. And when he gave her his most adorable grin in return, she felt her cheeks flush as butterflies fluttered in her stomach. _Doesn't matter how long we're together. That smile will always make me go weak._

Just a few minutes later, everyone was applauding when the bride and groom finally kissed and were pronounced Mr. and Mrs. Winston. Then Chibs helped Gracie off the stage and she immediately found Juice in the crowd, giving him a kiss before walking hand in hand with him to the tables where everyone would be having dinner. Then it was time for a family reunion.

It was her first opportunity to spend time with the guys since that morning, so as dinner was being served, Gracie made her rounds, hugging and catching up with all the guys that had finally come back to her. Bobby squeezed the life out of her in a huge bear hug and thanked for always visiting and writing, Clay kissed her cheek and thanked her for taking care of the boys while he was away, and even Tig gave her a hug and apologized for what he had said that afternoon, which just made Gracie roll her eyes because she knew he wasn't even a little bit sorry.

Sometime later, she felt a large hand squeeze her bare shoulder, and when she turned around she saw Happy standing behind her, a small smile on his face. Gracie didn't wait for him to say anything before rushing to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him tightly. In the time since she first started writing to him all those months ago, Hap had opened up to her more and more in each letter that he sent. He told her about growing up in Bakersfield, how much he loved his mom and missed his dad, how learning to ride a Harley saved his life, and how much he loved being a Son. She had learned that he was so much more than just the quiet, stoic enforcer. He was loyal, he was brave, he was artistic and creative, and much to her surprise, he was incredibly sweet. Even when she would visit him in Stockton, he hardly said more than a few words to her, but whatever hesitation he felt when speaking to her in person seemingly disappeared in his writing. Through their letters, they had become real friends and Gracie had grown to love him almost as much as she loved Jax and Chibs.

She smiled against his chest, her cheek resting on the cool leather of his kutte. "Welcome home, Hap."

A few seconds passed before she felt his arms circle her back and pull her closer. "Thanks, Gracie." Then he placed his hands on her arms and pulled her back slightly so that he could see her face. "I mean it. Thanks…for everything."

Gracie just gave him a small smile and nodded. "Well, don't think that just because you're out that I'm going to stop seeing your mom. Maria and I need our weekly girl time."

Happy just grinned and shook his head. "Couldn't stop you if I wanted to. Ma thinks you're the daughter she never had."

Gracie's smile widened. "I really love her, Hap. And I love you for letting me be a part of her life, a part of both your lives."

Hap just stared at her speechless, a strange look crossing his face as soon as the words left her mouth. He seemed as though he was trying to come up with the right thing to say next, but before any words could be uttered, the caterer came out and announced that the cake was about to be cut.

Hap turned to walk away, but before he could leave, Gracie grabbed his hand. When he turned around to face her, Gracie reached up and placed a hand on one of his cheeks and then gave him a warm, friendly kiss on the other. "I'm so glad you're back."

His coal black eyes stared at her for a few moments before he simply said, "Me too," and then Gracie watched him walk away without another word.

* * *

Gracie was having the time of her life, drinking and laughing and dancing with all the people she cared about most in the world. She had already danced with Opie, Koz, and Chibs, and was currently spinning around the dance floor with Tara, who seemed happier than she'd been since before the guys went inside.

Gracie smiled at her best friend. "Knowles, do you want to tell me why you're so giddy? I mean, I know we're all glad to be back together, but something just seems different…"

Tara tilted her head and grinned. "Gracie Jane…how do you…do you know?"

Gracie wrapped her arms around Tara in a huge hug and whispered in her ear. "I know that during my last visit to the prison, Jax asked me for my blessing. And I know that last week I went with Gemma to pick out a ring. And I know that he was planning on asking you today. And from the look on your face right now…I think I know that you said yes."

Tara had no words. She just smiled and nodded, hugging her sister as tightly as she could while Gracie softly cried happy tears on her shoulder. "I'm so happy for you, Doc. No one deserves this kind of happiness more than you and Jax. I love you so much."

They both pulled back and wiped the tears from each other's cheeks, both of them beaming. Tara just shook her head. "I can't believe he asked for your blessing."

Gracie grinned. "It was so sweet, Tara. He actually seemed nervous. But he said it was important because I was the closest thing you had to family."

Then Tara shook her head. "You're not the closest thing to my family, Gracie Jane. You are my family, in every way that matters."

Gracie leaned forward so that her forehead was resting against Tara's. "You and me against the world, Knowles."

Tara just smiled. "Always."

"Ladies, do you mind if I cut in?" They both looked up and grinned when they saw Jax standing beside them.

Gracie nodded and went to walk away but stopped when Jax grabbed her hand. "Where do you think you're going, Gracie? I already danced with my woman. Now I want to dance with you."

Both women laughed as Jax put his arms around Gracie's waist, Tara being pulled away by Chibs and quickly twirled around the dance floor.

Gracie placed her hands on Jax's shoulders and smiled. "Congratulations."

Jax just grinned and nodded. "We don't want to say anything today. This is Ope and Lyla's day. But, yeah, thank you. For some god forsaken reason, she actually said yes."

She just shook her head. "It's pretty easy to say yes when the love of your life, the father of your children, and your soul mate asks you to be with him forever."

The smile slowly faded from Jax's face as he looked down at Gracie with a serious, sincere expression. "Listen darlin', I know it wasn't easy for you to forgive me for hurting Tara before Ireland, for fucking up the way I did. But somehow you got past it and helped her to do the same. And I just wanted to say that I promise I won't do it again. I swear on my life, on the lives of my boys, I'm going to treat her right and I'm going to make her happy."

Gracie blinked tears from her eyes as she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "I know you will. You'll make each other happy."

They danced in contented silence for a few more minutes, but when the music changed to another old love song, Gracie felt a familiar pair of hands land on her hips. "I think you've had enough time with my old lady, VP."

Gracie looked over her shoulder and smiled at Juice before turning to face Jax and kissing him again on the cheek. "Thanks for the dance."

Jax just nodded his head to Juice and then winked at Gracie. "Anytime, darlin'."

As soon as Jax walked away, Juice turned Gracie around and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her waist as she circled her hands around his neck. They swayed slowly to the music, barely an inch apart, and were so lost in each other that everyone else around them just faded away.

Juice looked at her upswept hair, her exposed shoulders, and the way the dark blue dress contrasted the paleness of her skin. Then he leaned forward and kissed her temple before whispering against her ear. "You're the most beautiful woman here tonight, Gracie Jane."

Gracie just rolled her eyes. "That's sweet of you to say, baby. But no one could compete with Lyla today. I mean, she's always gorgeous, but in that wedding dress and the veil and the makeup….she's just perfect."

Juice raised one of his hands to her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Do you ever regret the way we got married, Gracie Jane? That you didn't get to do the whole invitations and reception and big dress thing?"

A small grin crossed her face, a dreamy look in her eyes. "Not even for a second."

He just sighed before taking Gracie's left hand in his and bringing it to his lips, kissing it softly before looking down at the simple silver Celtic band on her finger. "Well, what about an engagement ring? I mean, I gave you the little claddagh ring because it's all that I could find that night, but I'm bringing in a lot of money now. I could get you a diamond, or…"

She just bit her lip and shook her head. "I don't want any of that, Juice. I mean, all this is great for Lyla and Ope, really. But on our wedding day, I didn't care about favors or DJs or flower arrangements. I just wanted to be your wife." Then Gracie looked down at the hand that he was still holding and smiled at the sight of her wedding band. "And I could never love some big diamond more than I love this ring, because this was the one that you put on my finger that day. The one that was blessed. The one we said our vows over. This is all I'll ever need."

He just stared at his girl in wonder and, for the millionth time since meeting her, asked himself how the fuck he ever got so lucky. "Are you sure, sweetheart? I just don't want you to feel like you missed out on anything."

Gracie smiled and nodded. "I'm sure, baby. Besides, I got to avoid having you promise to 'treat me as good as your leather and ride me as much as your Harley' in front of everyone we know."

Juice just laughed as he pulled her close again, kissing her lips, before tightening his hold on her waist. Then he leaned down again and whispered in her ear. "But I do ride you as much as my Harley, don't I Gracie Jane?"

Juice couldn't help but laugh as Gracie's entire face turned red before she groaned and hid her face in the crook of his neck. "Do you have to say stuff like that, Juan Carlos?"

_So fucking adorable._ He was still smiling when he leaned down and pressed his lips against her hair. "I love you, Mrs. Ortiz."

**Please review!**


	45. Chapter 45

**Hi everyone! I'm so sorry this took so long. I know, I suck. For some reason, I just had a really hard time with this update.**

**So here begins the heart of season 4. This was not a fun chapter to write, and I feel like it's only going to get worse for a while, but as hard as it is, I promise it is necessary to the story. Just stay with me and have faith!**

**Thanks for the awesome response to the last chapter! I think** **that's the most reviews I've ever received for one update. Love you guys and please continue to give me your feedback! Hope you like this one…**

Chapter 45

Juice's hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold the handlebars of his bike. His eyes were focused on the dark, winding road in front of him, the only light coming from his single headlight. But in his mind, he was still in that warehouse, holding an assault rifle in his hands, watching the Russians die.

_Fuck…there was so much fucking blood. And I swear, he was looking right at me when he died…_How had it been just a few hours before that he was with Gracie, dancing and smiling? He had known ever since church that morning what the plan was, that they were using Opie's wedding as a chance to retaliate against Putlova for Jax getting stabbed in prison and to steal his gun supply. And at the time, he had voted for it along with every one of his brothers. Jax was their VP, their brother, and their friend. They had to fight back. It's what they do.

But it didn't matter. The moment he pulled that trigger and saw the shocked, lifeless expressions on the Russians faces, his anxiety started to grow. _Yeah, they tried to kill Jax in prison, but only because we fucked them over with the counterfeit cash and Jimmy O. And it wasn't that guy, lying in front of me in a pool of blood, that stuck the blade into Jax. I've never even seen this guy. I don't know his name, or if he's innocent, or if he has a kid, or a wife just like Gracie waiting for him tonight at home…god, that was a lot of fucking blood…_

And it only got worse as Juice, Chibs, Bobby, and Hap loaded the bodies into the truck and then drove out to Charming Heights, dumping them unceremoniously in a shallow grave. _I wonder if this will be how I go out…if Gracie will find me wrapped in a fucking tarp in a ditch…fuck, there's just so much blood…_

He felt like such a pussy, like such a fucking coward. _ Come on, man. Get your shit together. Don't do this…but fuck, they didn't even see it coming…and I just stood there and watched four people die._

He was still reeling as he pulled into his driveway, barely aware of himself drowning in his panic. He hadn't felt this lost, this out of control, since the night they killed Tristan Oswald's rapist. But then he had Gracie to take care of him, to hold him and comfort him, and make him feel like everything was going to be alright…_but fuck, how am I even supposed to fucking look at her? _He glanced down at his hands and saw trace amount of dark red crimson still clinging to his fingertips, immediately trying to wipe them off on his pants. _How can I even touch her? I don't deserve to touch her…_

He suddenly got this image in his head of Gracie, a horrible memory of her lying in their bed, crying her eyes out after Sack's funeral, pleading with him to stop all the death…_and I failed her. Since Ireland, Jax has all but refused to talk about JT's manuscript or the future of the club. It's like he doesn't even care anymore. And I promised her…I fucking promised her it would stop, and right now I literally have blood on my hands._

Despite the uncontrollable tremors coursing through his body, Juice managed to unlock the door as quietly as possible, slipping into the house without a sound. Standing just inside the living room, he took off his kutte and boots, and then stripped out of his clothes, carrying them to the laundry room before making his way to the guest bathroom, where he stood under the scalding hot shower and tried to wash away the blood and death that still hung on him like a shroud.

Then he walked to his bedroom door, pausing to take a deep breath, before turning the knob almost silently. And when he looked at the bed, his heart began to ache. _God, she's so damn pretty. _Gracie was lying on her back, one arm curved above her pillow while the other rested gently on her waist. Her copper waves were fanned out against her pillow, her full lips just slightly open, and a sleepy Luke was curled up in a tight ball at her feet. And as he desperately tried to quiet his mind by focusing on the steady and rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, Juice couldn't help but think that she was the embodiment of everything he could never truly be…_pure, perfect, and at peace. _

He walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in, careful not to wake her. He was fucking _terrified_ of waking her. _I can't let her see me right now…not like this._ Because he knew that he couldn't lie to her, knew that she would see right through him, knew that if she saw him now that he would have no choice but to tell her the truth. So he just laid there on his side and stared at her as she slept, his entire body aching to touch her but his tortured mind unwilling to allow it. He craved her comfort more in that moment than at almost any time he could remember, but he had to deny himself. He couldn't risk seeing the look of disappointment on her face when she realized just what her husband really was…_nothing but a murderer._

He found himself thinking back to that night, so long ago, when Gracie had indirectly had a hand in killing Joshua Kohn. _She was so sad, and she hated herself so much. She asked me if I thought she was a bad person for not saving that piece of shit; a man that kidnapped her, beat her, and tried to rape her best friend. And living through all that hell, she still thought that somehow she had done something wrong. How the fuck can she ever look at me again, know what I've done, and not think I'm a monster? How?_

So instead of reaching out to her, talking to her, and losing himself in the ever present calm and love that she gave to him every time he needed her, Juice just laid there in silence, stared blankly up at the ceiling, and tried with everything he had to shut out the darkness in his head.

* * *

Gracie smiled when she opened her eyes and saw Juice sleeping next to her. The sun was just starting to creep through the bedroom window, casting a soft hazy glow over his features, and she had to bite her lower lip to keep from sighing. _I'm married to the most beautiful man in the world._ It had been so long since she'd been able to watch him sleep and she was loving every minute of it, just like she'd loved every minute she'd shared with him since his release. She had had such an amazing time at the wedding the night before, dancing with her family and watching Opie and Lyla tie the knot. But mostly she had loved every moment of being back with Juice. Every smile, every laugh, every kiss that he gave her seemed to heal the scars from the last fourteen months, making her whole again. He was everything that she would ever need…and he was finally home where he belonged.

She crept out of bed quietly, trying her best not to make any noise. She assumed that he had gotten home late from wherever he had been and must be exhausted. Juice, along with some of the other guys, had disappeared for some kind of club business towards the end of the wedding. Gracie had stayed the whole time, dancing with Tara and Lyla, until the band played their last song. Then she helped Gemma and some of the other girls clean up before finally heading home. She was curious to know what the guys were doing that was so important that they had to leave Ope's wedding, but right now, looking at her husband tangled up sweetly in her bed sheets, she didn't really care. All that mattered was that he was safe and sound.

Gracie walked out of the bedroom and down the little hallway to the kitchen, Luke following closely behind her. She opened the sliding glass door to let him outside and then walked to the laundry room, where she kept his feeding dishes. She had just knelt down to scoop out his breakfast, when she noticed Juice's clothes from the night before in a pile by the washing machine. She picked them up and started throwing them one by one into the washer, but paused when she saw the stains splattered across his dark blue hoodie. She had been a nurse long enough to know that it was blood.

She felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach as her brain was flooded with questions. _What the hell happened last night?_ She stared at the stained hoodie a moment longer before throwing it into the wash. She walked back into the kitchen and stared down the hallway towards the bedroom, fighting the urge to immediately wake Juice and ask him what happened. But instead, she took a slow deep breath and shook her head. _Calm down, Anderson. Just calm down. You are not going to wake him up early and start interrogating him when it's his first morning home. He's here, he's ok. Everything else can wait. _Ignoring the worry that was still swirling inside her, Gracie walked over to the coffee pot, turned it on, and started making breakfast.

* * *

About 15 minutes later, Gracie smiled when she saw Juice walking down the hallway in just his t-shirt and boxers. "Morning, baby. I made you some…" But her smile faded as soon as he looked up and she saw the exhausted, worn expression on his face. "Baby, are you alright?"

He looked up at her with tired eyes and a smile that she knew was forced. "Hey, sweetheart. Morning. Yeah, I…uh, I'm good. Just got back late. Didn't get much sleep."

She walked right up to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burying her face against his chest. She could feel how tense he was, every muscle in his body going rigid at her touch. But after a moment he relaxed, looping his arms around her back and pulling her closer, kissing the top of her head.

Gracie lifted her eyes to him and placed her hands on either side of his face, holding him tenderly. "Please tell me what happened."

"I don't know what you…"

"I saw your clothes, baby. Your hoodie had blood all over it. Please, I just…I know you're not ok. Please don't lie to me."

Juice sighed when he looked down at his wife, her beautiful face filled with concern. "It's just club shit, sweetheart. I'm alright now. I had a rough night last night, and I really didn't sleep. I'm just really fucking tired. But I'm fine. I swear."

He leaned down to kiss her and when his lips fell against hers, Juice finally felt the calm he'd been denying himself for the last several hours. He slowly sank into her, and with every taste of her mouth and move of her tongue, he felt the burden of his thoughts melt away. He could actually hear the voices in his head start to quiet as she held him tighter, and he felt a peacefulness invade every corner of his body, pushing away the guilt and unease that still weighed heavily on his shoulders.

After a few unhurried minutes, he pulled back so he could look at her once more. He scanned her eyes, so bright and so warm, searching for any doubt or anger or judgment. But as always, all he saw was inexplicable and unwavering devotion.

_She's my fucking miracle. _He took a piece of wavy auburn hair and tucked it behind her ear before offering her a small smile…this one completely genuine. "You know I couldn't survive one god damn day without you in my life, don't you Gracie Jane?"

Despite how scared she still was for him, she couldn't help but smile. She nodded her head softly before holding both of his hands and lifting them to her lips, kissing them sweetly. "You'll never have to. I'm here, Juan Carlos, for you, forever."

Another moment of silence passed and Gracie knew that she wouldn't get him to open up any more to her about whatever had happened. So she simply gave him another short, sweet kiss before guiding him to sit at the dining room table, and then went to the kitchen to finish breakfast.

* * *

When they were finished eating, Gracie cleared the table while Juice went to the bedroom to get ready for work. She had just finished loading the dishwasher when he came back out, this time wearing his beat up cargo pants and one of his TM work shirts. "I gotta go, sweetheart."

Gracie turned to face him, biting her lip and nodding. "You're in the garage today?"

Juice ran his hand through his thick black hair and nodded. "Yeah, but first I'm gonna stop into Floyd's and have him get rid of this shit on my head…unless you want me to keep it?"

Gracie grinned when she finally heard the slightly playful tone in his voice. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, running one of them through his hair before gently tugging on it with her fingers. "I don't know, Ortiz. It was pretty fun having something to hold onto yesterday, but I kinda miss the mohawk."

Juice's hands found her hips and then traveled quickly downwards, cupping her ass and squeezing. "I could stay a little longer if you want. You could, you know, pull on it some more one last time…"

Gracie just laughed as he started kissing down the side of her neck. "Baby, it's your first day back to work. You shouldn't be late. Besides, I have some stuff to do this morning."

"Oh, yeah? What's going on?"

Gracie tried to look as normal as possible, all too aware that she was a terrible liar. "Oh, um…I just have to go to the hospital for some things and then go for a run. Nothing crazy. Just errands."

Juice just nodded, oblivious to the nervous energy surging through her body. He leaned forward and kissed her once more before heading towards the door. "I'll text you and let you know when I'll be home. You should stop by if you have time, maybe come over for lunch."

"Um, yeah. Definitely, baby. I'll be there." She watched as he grabbed his kutte off the hook and opened the door, but when he started to walk outside Gracie took a step forward and called out his name. "Juice?"

When he turned to face her, Gracie just looked at him with a sincere expression on her face, her voice quiet but strong. "I love you more than anything in the world."

He could only stare at her for a moment, a look of pure adoration in his eyes, before he softly smiled. "I know, sweetheart."

She anxiously watched as he climbed on his Dyna and rode away from her, but the second that she closed the door, a cool determination came over Gracie. She knew no matter what he told her that Juice wasn't fine. That whatever happened last night was violent and bloody and that taking part in that shit was slowly eating her husband alive. _I just got him back. I just fucking got him back. And I'll be damned if I lose him or watch him suffer. Every day for the last fourteen months I've sworn when he got out that I would take care of him, that I would protect him, that we would have the life we always wanted. And no matter what I have to do, that's exactly what's going to happen._

Gracie turned and went straight to her bedroom to strip off her tank top and sleep shorts and then pulled on her faded skinny jeans, gray t-shirt, and red converse sneakers. And once she was dressed, she walked outside as fast as she could to her car, climbing in and gunning out of the driveway, speeding down the street to talk to the one man that had the power to fix everything.

* * *

Gracie took a deep breath as she approached the front door and knocked on it softly. And just a few moments later Tara answered the door, a sleepy Thomas on her hip. "Hey, Gracie Jane. What are you doing here so early?"

Gracie lovingly ran one of her hands over her nephew's soft blond hair before looking up at Tara. "I need to talk to Jax."

Tara's brow furrowed in confusion. "He's not here. He left about 20 minutes ago to go to the clubhouse. What's going on?"

Gracie bit her lip and sighed. "Knowles, can I come in? We need to talk."

Tara frowned when she heard the sad frustration in her best friend's voice. "Of course. Go on in the kitchen. There's a fresh pot of coffee."

Gracie poured herself a cup and waited at the kitchen table while Tara went to the nursery to put Thomas back to bed. She came back a few minutes later and grabbed her own cup before sitting down across from Gracie. "Thomas was up all night so he should be out for a while and Abel usually sleeps for another hour or so." Tara took a sip from her mug and couldn't help but notice the tension in Gracie's face. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

Gracie ran her hands through her hair before looking at Tara. "Doc, do you know where all the guys went last night when they left the wedding? Because this morning I saw blood all over Juice's clothes."

Tara sighed. "I don't know exactly but…" She got up and walked to the kitchen counter to grab the morning newspaper and then placed it in front of Gracie before sitting back down. "…it probably had something to do with this."

Gracie clenched her jaw tightly as she read the headline. _Bodies of Russian Mob Members Found at Charming Heights Housing Development. _"Jesus Christ, Tara."

Tara leaned back in her chair, shaking her head. "I know."

Gracie crossed her arms over her chest. "This is exactly why I need to talk to Jax. I mean, what the hell happened to everything he said last year about changing the club and sending it in a new direction? God Tara, don't you remember how awful it all was? All the horrible shit that we went through last year?" She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked back tears at the thought of how so many people she loved had suffered. "When Jax told Juice about J.T.'s manuscript and how he wanted all the violence to end, it gave us so much hope, you know? And Jax was so certain, so passionate, about ensuring the future and safety of his brothers, of his family. But since Ireland, it's like he just forgot about it all. In all the times I visited and wrote letters, he never mentioned any of it. Not once. And I get it. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me about that stuff because I'm just an old lady, but Juice hasn't said anything either. What happened, Tara? Was it all a lie? What's changed for him?"

Tara took a deep breath and looked down at her hands for a long moment before staring into Gracie's eyes. She looked as though she was in a battle with herself on whether or not to say something, and finally after another minute past, she sighed. "Gracie Jane, there's something I need to tell you. I've held it in for so long, but if I don't talk to someone I think I'm going to lose my mind."

Gracie reached her hand out to hold the one that Tara was nervously tapping against the table. "Knowles, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Tara didn't say anything, just rose from her seat and walked to the hallway, retrieving her messenger bag. Then she sat back down and reached inside of it, pulling out a big stack of old letters and laying them in front of Gracie. "It all started the day the guys went to prison…"

* * *

For the next hour, Gracie's head was spinning. Tara told her all about finding Maureen Ashby's letters and the secrets they revealed; John Teller's desire for the club to get out of the gun business, his fear that he was being conspired against by those closest to him, and his belief that not only were Clay and Gemma having an affair, but that the two of them would do anything they could to push him out of the club.

When she had finished reading it, Grace placed the last letter down on the table and ran her hands over her face. "Oh my god, Tara. If this is true…if even a little of this is true…" She raised her disbelieving eyes to look at her friend. "Knowles, what did Jax say when he read these?"

A look of shame crossed over Tara's face as she averted her gaze away from Gracie. "I…I haven't told him about the letters, Gracie Jane…and I'm not going to tell him."

Gracie's jaw fell open._ There's no way she just said what I think she said._ "What the hell do you mean you're not going to tell him?"

Tara stood up and started pacing on the kitchen floor, looking anywhere but at Grace. "Gracie, before you guys went to Belfast all Jax talked about was that manuscript, about how he was going to use it to save the club. But since meeting Maureen and Trinity and hearing how J.T. betrayed Gemma…he hates his dad. And yesterday when he proposed to me, he told me that he wants out of the club. Do you understand that Gracie? He wants out! That's all I've ever wanted to hear him say since we were 16 years old. He's just staying in long enough to make some money and then we're done. We're taking our boys and finally getting them away from the violence and all of the other toxic shit that comes with living in this town."

Gracie was stunned, staring at Tara as though she were a stranger. "Doc, I get it. I do. You want to keep your children safe. Of course you do, because you're a wonderful mother. But those letters weren't addressed to you. They were addressed to Jax. That's his family, his past, his history. You have no right to keep them from him."

Tara just shook her head. "Gracie, you have to see it my way. If I give Jax the letters, he won't ever leave. Clay will lose his patch, or worse, and Jax will be voted in as President."

"Yeah, and so what? Isn't that what he always wanted? I mean, that was the plan, right? Wait for Clay to get out of the picture so that Jax could lead everyone on the right path. Get the club out of guns, away from the violence, away from the crime, legitimate ways to earn…"

"Oh, please Gracie. Don't be so naive! That is never going to happen!"

Gracie's eyes widened slightly at the harsh, hateful tone in Tara's voice. "Doc, how can you say that? How can you not have enough faith in him to let him at least try? I know Jax can change the club, Tara. It's his legacy. He was born to lead those guys. He can change everything. I believe in him."

Tara just scoffed as she raised her blurry eyes to the ceiling, fighting back tears. "Maybe you're right, Gracie Jane. Maybe there's the slightest chance that he could do all the things he said he would. But I'm just not willing to bet on the lives of my family when it's not a sure thing."

Gracie finally got up from her seat and stood in front of Tara, her stunned state of shock finally turning into anger. "Your family, Knowles? _Your_ family? I've got news for you Tara. You and Abel and Thomas are not Jax's only family! Jesus Christ! Those letters say that Jax's mother and stepdad may have _murdered_ his fucking father! You don't think that's something he needs to know? Something the club needs to know? And what about me, huh?"

Tara finally made eye contact with Gracie as a tear escaped down her cheek. "What about you, Gracie Jane?"

"Since when am I not part of your family?"

"Sweetie, that's not what I meant. I just…"

"No, Tara! Stop! All that you're concerned about is Jax and the boys. And I get how much you love them. But I've been your only fucking family for the last ten years and all the sudden you're ready to abandon me? I came here this morning to talk to Jax, worried sick and out of my mind, because whatever shit the club had to do last night is _killing_ Juice, Tara! Every time he has to hurt someone, every time he has to make someone bleed…I see a little piece of him destroyed and it makes me feel like I'm _dying _inside! He's my fucking husband!"

Tara tried to reach her hand out, but Gracie just slapped it away. "And what about all the other guys, Knowles? What about Piney and Bobby and Chibs and every other man in that club that would lay down their fucking lives for you? How can you let them be lead by a man like Clay now that you know the truth? How can you condemn them to a life of violence and danger and death when you know that Jax could change all of it? Because Jax loves every single one of those guys like they're his blood, and you know as well as I do that he would never do that to them!"

Gracie was only vaguely aware of the tears now streaming down her cheeks as her nearly hysterical voice came out in hoarse sobs. "Don't you remember what it was like, Tara? Watching Opie and Ellie and Kenny grieving over Donna's grave? Examining Gemma after she was brutalized? Watching Kip…" She struggled to go on as her cries got louder. "Watching Kip sacrifice himself for you and die right here in this fucking room? How could you possibly let Jax walk away when he has the chance to prevent so much suffering from happening in the future? How?"

Tara reached out again for Gracie's hand and this time caught it before she had a chance to pull it away. "Gracie Jane, please! I need you to understand, you more than anyone! I'm doing this for my boys! I'm doing this for our future!"

Gracie pulled her hand out of Tara's grasp and then placed both her hands on the sides of Tara's face, forcing them to make eye contact. "The saddest part of this whole thing is that you actually believe that you'll have a future with Jax if that future is based on a lie."

Tara was just about to reply when Thomas's quiet cries started coming through the baby monitor. The two women stared at each other for a moment longer before Gracie finally turned away and started for the front door.

Tara's voice sounded stricken as she followed closely behind. "Gracie Jane, please don't leave. Please, we need…"

Tara reached out and grabbed Gracie's arm, forcing her to turn around, but when she did, she was horrified by the hurt and betrayed look on her best friend's face. "Gracie Jane, I…"

"Go get your son, Tara." Gracie turned back around to leave and reached for the door, but as her hand grasped the doorknob she paused. Taking a deep breath, she didn't even turn around, just rested her forehead against the door, surprising even herself at what she was about to say. "I'm giving you one week."

She opened the door and walked outside, with a near frantic Tara following after her. "One week for what, Gracie Jane?"

Gracie finally turned back to face Tara, and even though it broke her heart, she said the words she needed to say…

"You have one week to tell Jax the truth about the letters…or I will."

**Please review! **


	46. Chapter 46

**Hey everybody! Here's the next update! Thanks to everyone, as always, for the reviews. I loved hearing from all of you, including the wonderful guests who I can't respond to personally. Also, I was looking at the date and realized that, as of a few days ago, it has officially been a year since I published this story. I honestly can't believe that it's been an entire year since I created Juice and Gracie's love story, and I am so grateful for the support it continues to get. Special thanks to the readers who started following this fic all those many months ago and have hung with me the entire time. You're amazing.**

**Hope you enjoy this one. Here we go…**

Chapter 46

As Juice walked outside of the clubhouse and towards the garage, he was unaware of the warm California air swirling around him and all the sunshine beating down on his face. He was still reeling from the church they'd just had and the vote that was looming over all their heads. _Muling drugs for a fucking cartel?_

He still couldn't believe that it was actually being considered. They were just an MC, and sure, they were outlaw and they sold weapons to local gangs, but a cartel? That was more lethal than any shit they'd ever been involved in. He'd been shocked when Clay had brought it to the table, but he was fucking floored when Jax sat right beside Clay and supported it. _I mean, Jesus Christ. What the hell is he thinking? He has a family. He has kids. Why the fuck would he want to start doing business with a cartel?_

Then Juice's mind drifted to _his_ family; the beautiful wife that he had waiting for him at home. He remembered that when he and Gracie first got together, all she wanted to know about the club was that they didn't hurt innocents and they didn't sell drugs. And if they started muling for the cartel, they were officially working for an organization that did both. _God, if this shit passes, what the fuck am I supposed to do?_

Shaking his head, he tried to push the worry from his mind. He was about to start working on Unser's old bike and was looking forward to Gracie stopping by later for lunch. All he could do in the mean time was just keep his head down and pray that his brothers had enough sense to make the right decision.

* * *

Gracie was still trembling with anger and hurt as she pulled her car back into her driveway and walked into the house. She leaned down to pet Luke, who was instantly wagging his tail and running around her feet, and then collapsed down onto the sofa. Wiping a tear from her cheek, she shuttered when she thought about what had just happened. _What the hell is Knowles thinking? She's my sister, she's a part of me, I love her more than my own life…but it's like I don't even know her anymore. _Gracie still couldn't believe the words that came out of Tara's mouth, how she honestly thought she was doing what was best for Jax and the boys, how delusional she was being. _And how can she not even care about me, and Juice, and the rest of the guys?_

Gracie ran her hands through her hair and sighed. In the twelve years since they'd met, it was the worst fight she'd ever had with Tara and it made her feel sick. For the next hour she tried to distract herself; cleaned the house, paid bills, and played with Luke, but although she felt mentally drained from the argument and the huge revelation of the letters, she had too much nervous energy coursing through her to stay in the house another minute. So she went to her bedroom and changed into running clothes, laced up her shoes, and grabbed Luke's leash, hoping that a good run would help her clear her mind and allow her to figure out exactly what the hell she was supposed to do next.

* * *

Over an hour later, Gracie found herself jogging down Main Street, Luke panting by her side. She was just about to run past the new flower shop, but stopped suddenly when the door to the florist swung open and out walked the new sheriff.

Gracie found herself smiling up at the officer as she pulled the earbuds out of her ears. "Hey, Lt. Roosevelt. I haven't seen you in a while."

Roosevelt returned her smile and shook his head. "Grace, I've told you a million times. You can call me Eli."

Everyone had been so upset when the Charming PD has been dissolved and the San Joaquin County Sheriff's department took over, forcing Wayne into an early retirement. But after meeting him several times at the hospital and getting to know him socially through his wife, she had to admit that Eli was a really nice guy. In some ways, he even reminded her of her dad; brave, honest, and committed to protecting people.

Gracie grinned. "Sorry, it's habit. It's nice to see you, Eli." She looked over to the store front. "Were you visiting Rita?"

Eli smiled. "Yeah, I didn't get to see her this morning when I left for work, so I brought her some coffee and donuts."

Gracie sighed. "Coffee and donuts, huh? I'm pretty sure you just confirmed amazing husband status." Just then Luke started tugging on his leash, anxious to finish their run, so Gracie started to walk away. "Well, see you around. Tell Rita I said…"

But Gracie was interrupted when he reached his hand out and lightly grabbed her arm, halting her from moving forward. "Grace, listen. Speaking of husbands…I saw yours got out of prison yesterday." He waited for Grace to nod before clearing his throat and meeting her gaze. "Listen, I just wanted to say…you're a sweet woman, Grace. You're a terrific nurse, an asset to this community, and just an all around good person. But my job is to uphold the law and your husband is a member of a criminal organization. I just want you to know that nothing I ever do in enforcing the laws of this county will be personal. I just want to keep people safe. It's what I do."

After a few seconds, a small sad smile crossed her face before she nodded. "I know you have to do your job, Eli. And I know you're a man of honor. Just please remember that even though some of the guys might not always make the best decisions, it doesn't mean they're all bad people. My husband, Juice…he's a really good man. And if you'd get to know him, I think you'd really like him."

Gracie turned and took a few steps down the street but stopped when she heard Eli call out to her. "Grace, listen, uh…are you going to TM later today?"

She furrowed her brow in confusion, unable to name the strange tone in his voice. "I don't know. Why?"

A moment past before an uncomfortable smile crossed his face. "Um, no reason. You take care, Grace."

And as she watched him turn and walk in the opposite direction, Gracie tilted her head to the side, totally puzzled. _What the hell was that about?_

When Gracie got home about twenty minutes later, she was still just as lost as before. She still felt terrible about her fight with Tara, horrible for Jax and all the vicious truths that he was about to learn, unsure of her relationship with Gemma now that she knows about all the lies she's told, but most of all she was worried about Juice.

All of these things weighed on her as she went to the bedroom and stripped off her clothes before taking a quick shower. But after a few minutes, when she turned off the water and reached for her towel, another thought crossed her mind; her short encounter with Eli Roosevelt. He had always been so kind to her, so considerate, and today was no different. But that look on his face when he asked her if she would be a TM today was so strange she couldn't quite…

Gracie suddenly dropped her towel on the floor when it finally occurred to her what she heard in his voice and saw in his eyes. _It was concern. He was worried that I would be at the clubhouse today. But why wouldn't he want me there? Oh shit…_

Not even three minutes later, Gracie was flying out the door and running to her car, gunning the engine and racing as fast as she could to Teller-Morrow.

* * *

Juice was loosening a rusty bolt on Unser's ancient motorcycle when he heard tires squealing into the parking lot. He looked up along with everyone else in the garage to see Gracie's Mustang speeding in like a bat out of hell. _What the hell?_

He walked out of the garage along with Chibs, Clay, and Gemma just as Gracie climbed out of her car. He barely had time to notice her thrown-on clothes and still soaking wet hair before she ran right over to them, surprising him by going to stand in front of their President.

She quickly brushed a wet lock of hair out of her face, her voice breathless and panting. "Clay, I think the clubhouse is about to get raided."

Juice moved to stand in front of her and rested his hands on her shoulders. "What are you talking about, sweetheart?"

She took just a second to catch her breath before continuing. "When I was running today I ran into Lt. Roosevelt. He asked me if I was going to be at TM today, but I just realized that he said it in a way that just…Juice, he didn't want me here. I know that's not a lot to go on, but I'm sure something's going to go down here today. I'm sure."

Clay looked to Gemma and shrugged. "What do you think?"

Gemma looked at Gracie and nodded. "If she thinks something's going down then it probably is."

Clay placed his hands on his hips and sighed. "Ah, Christ. Fucking cops." He looked over to where Juice and Chibs were standing. "Go to the clubhouse and tell the guys. Get rid of any shit that you don't want the good sheriff to find."

For the next several minutes, Gracie waited impatiently on the picnic tables while Gemma returned to the TM office and all the guys disappeared into the clubhouse. But after a while, all the guys flooded back outside and started towards their bikes. Gemma walked over to where she was standing and caught Clay just as he was passing by. "What is it?"

Clay glanced at Gracie and then back to Gem. "The Russians have Jax and Ope."

"Shit!" Gemma placed her hands on her hips and started pacing as Gracie raised a hand to her mouth and gasped.

Gracie ran over to where Juice was standing and he pulled her in for a quick kiss. "I gotta go. Stay here until I get back."

Gracie just nodded. "I will. I love you. Please be careful."

Juice and his brothers turned to climb on their bikes, but before any of them could even start their engines, they heard sirens. And just seconds later, the lot was filled with cop cars and fire trucks, blocking their way out.

Clay walked over to Gem immediately and told her to call the Grim Bastards for help and then went to Gracie, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks for the heads up. You saved our asses."

Gracie forced a small smile before walking away to stand by Juice. She just couldn't stand to be around Clay now after reading the letters, finally having proof of what a terrible man he really was.

* * *

Gracie stood by helplessly and watched as Roosevelt destroyed the clubhouse piece by piece, first smashing in the wall of mug shots and then actually having the audacity to drive an axe into the redwood table. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. This was the same man that told her just that morning that nothing he did against the club would be personal, that he would be professional. But this wasn't professional. This was nothing short of vindictive.

She looked around at the guy's faces and all of them looked beyond furious. It was a miracle that they had to restraint to stop themselves from attacking the sheriff, and she knew that it was only because they needed to go and rescue Jax and Ope as soon as all of this was over.

Finally, nearly 45 minutes later, the sheriff and fire department left the scene and all the guys took off towards their bikes. Gracie was able to grab Juice's arm, giving him a quick kiss and whispering to him to be careful, before watching helplessly as they all took off out of the lot.

Gracie did her best not to flinch when Gemma came over to her and grabbed her hand. "You should call Tara. Jax will want her hear when they bring him home."

She looked up into Gemma's big hazel eyes and tried to reconcile her feelings for the woman standing in front of her. This was someone who, over the last two years, had become a second mother to Gracie. She had welcomed her into Samcro with open arms, taken care of her while the guys were in prison, and loved Juice and all the other guys with her whole heart. _But can the love of the present undo the lies of the past?_ Because this was also the same woman that had almost certainly cheated on J.T. with Clay, and who could have very well conspired to kill her husband, robbing her son of his father.

But in spite of her concerns and worry, Gracie couldn't deny that right now, in that moment, Gemma was crumbling. She was stricken with worry for her son, the person that she, unquestioningly, loved most in the world. So without really thinking about it, Gracie wrapped her arms around her in a comforting hug. "Don't worry, Gem. They'll bring them home. Everything will be alright."

Gemma nodded once and then kissed Gracie on the cheek. "Thanks, sweetheart. Go on, call Tara. I'll go make a fresh pot of coffee."

Gracie watched her walk away, her heart breaking with every step. _Maybe it was all Clay. Or maybe she was just so devastated after Thomas's death and J.T.'s affair with Maureen that she wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe she just lost her mind for a second._ She tried to shake the thoughts from her mind as she reached into her pocket for her cell phone. Because as invested as she was in what will happen when the truth comes out, she knew that it was totally out of her control. The only person that would ultimately decide Gemma's fate was Jax.

* * *

Tara pulled into the lot less than ten minutes later and walked straight over to Gracie, her face worn with worry. "What happened?"

Gracie just shook her head. "I don't know. Something about Jax and Ope being taken by the Russians. The clubhouse got raided earlier, and as soon as the cops left, the guys took off."

"Shit." Tara ran her hands through her hair and sighed. _This is exactly why we need to get away from here._ She looked at Gracie and placed her hands on her hips. "Please tell me you've reconsidered what you said this morning."

Gracie blinked tears out of her eyes as she shook her head. "Nothing's changed, Knowles. Tell Jax about the letters or I will."

Tara wiped the moisture from her own eyes and scoffed at her best friend. "Sure, if my husband actually makes it back alive from wherever the fuck he is right now, you can go ahead and ruin my life."

Tara started to walk away but Gracie reached out and grabbed her hand. "Tara, I know you hate me right now and you can't understand why I have to do this, but just know that everything I'm doing is because I love you." Her voice softened and started to tremble as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "I love you, Knowles."

Tara never looked at her, just gently pulled her arm out of Gracie's grasp. But before she walked away, Gracie swore she heard Tara softly whisper, "I love you too, Gracie Jane."

* * *

Gemma and Tara paced the floors of the destroyed clubhouse, with Lyla joining them soon after when she arrived from the porn studio. Gracie tried to sit still, but after a few restless minutes she nervously started cleaning what she could, trying anything to distract herself from worrying about the guys. And she almost cried in relief when, almost two hours later, she finally heard the familiar rumble of Harleys.

They all ran outside and smiled when they saw all the guys, including Jax and Opie, back safe and sound. Gracie went straight to Juice and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Are you ok? Is everyone whole?"

Juice kissed her forehead and nodded. "We're all good, sweetheart. It's all good."

She looked up into his eyes and frowned when she saw the stress written all over his face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

He tucked a coppery wave behind her ear and shook his head. He didn't know how to even begin telling her about the cartel, so instead he just sighed. "It's nothing we can't handle."

Gracie was always able to read him like a book. There was so much expression in his eyes, so much emotion. She could see plain as day that he was worried, he was tired, and he was on the verge of losing it. And just like she knew exactly what he was feeling, she also knew exactly what he needed to make it better.

So she simply kissed him softly before grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards his bike.

"Where are we going, Gracie Jane?"

She took her helmet from the saddle bag before handing him his from the seat. Then she just smiled. "Take me for a ride."

* * *

Everything else just faded away. The year of his life wasted in prison, the blood he spilled the night before, the cartel, the vote, the club…everything. All that existed was his girl, his bike, and the freedom of the road.

As soon as they had taken off, away from the clubhouse and out of Charming, Juice had never looked back. He just breathed in deep and lost himself in the ride; the wind whipping around him that made him feel like he was flying, the power underneath him that allowed him to regain a sense of control, and most of all the absolute fucking peace he experienced with Gracie's body pressed up against him. Through every curve and every turn, she leaned into him and held on tightly, telling him in an unspoken way that she trusted him to take care of her. Through every touch she healed him and it was everything he needed.

They rode for hours, all day, only stopping a few times to fill up the gas tank and grab some food. There was no destination in mind, no defined end point; just the happiness of the journey and their time together. But as the afternoon sun slowly started to fade, Juice thought of a place he really wanted to go, somewhere he hadn't been in far too long…

* * *

Gracie smiled when she lifted her head from where it had been resting on Juice's shoulder and saw where they had stopped. She climbed off the bike and took her helmet off, waiting for him to do the same, before he laced her fingers with his and pulled her down the small familiar path and into the woods.

It only took them a few minutes to quietly walk the mile or so through the fields and redwoods to the small clearing, to their little pond in the woods, where Juice had taken Gracie on their first ride. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

She softly smiled as she looked at the still blue water reflecting the last of the day's sunshine. "I forgot how beautiful this place is."

Juice looked down at her. "Didn't you ever come here when I was inside?"

She just shook her head. "It didn't seem right being here without you." Then she gazed lovingly into his eyes before giving him a sweet, gentle kiss. "Nothing seemed right without you."

She kissed him again, this time deeper, and before she knew it they had lowered themselves to the ground.

Juice climbed on top of her, kissing her with just enough force to push her back to the soft Earth beneath them. Then he pulled back slightly and opened his eyes, desperate for the simple sight of his wife; her cheeks flushed with desire, her lips reddened and just starting to bruise, her gorgeous hair fanned out against the cool green grass, bringing out the emerald in her eyes.

He committed everything to memory; every angle of her face, every curve in her body, every whisper of how much she needed him…and he was so overcome with love for her that it made him ache inside.

He kissed her again, slowly and passionately, until they were both breathless, before trailing his lips over her jaw line and down the smooth, graceful length of her neck. Then he rose up and moved down a few inches, his hands finding the hem of her t-shirt and lifting it towards her breasts, kissing a path up her stomach as soon it was exposed.

Gracie was on fire from Juice's touch, which was at the same time completely perfect and agonizingly slow. "Baby…Juice, I want you…please."

She moved her hands down towards his waist and tried to touch him, but he stayed just out of her reach, gently grabbing her hands and kissing her fingertips before shaking his head. Then he stared into her eyes and barely whispered. "Let me take my time with you, Gracie Jane."

And that's exactly what he did. He took his time taking off her clothes. He took his time kissing her breasts. He took his time exploring the inside of her body with his fingers, and then he took his time worshipping her perfect, wet sex with his tongue.

She had already come twice by the time he finally drove himself deep inside her, and even then, he took his time. His pace was unhurried, almost lazy, and obviously not seeking an end. Just like the ride, it wasn't about the finish. It was about the journey and losing himself in his girl over and over and over again as many times as possible.

By the time he came, his moans muffled by the kiss he refused to break, it was impossible to tell where she started and he began. Every inch of them was tangled in the other, their bodies in every way connected, their breathing and their heartbeats syncing in unison.

* * *

A few minutes later, after they had finally separated and thrown their clothes back on, they laid back down on the cool grass, completely content and certain that they were the only two people who existed in the entire world. Juice was on his back, one arm tucked under his head like a pillow, the other wrapped around Gracie's waist as she lay tucked firmly into his side, her head resting on his chest. She was absentmindedly tracing little hearts with her fingers on his t-shirt, every few minutes leaning in to smell him or softly kiss the salty skin of his neck, and she was quietly humming the words to some song she couldn't even remember the words to.

And there they stayed for the rest of the evening, their gazes turned westward, watching as the golden California sun slowly sank down and disappeared through the redwood trees.

_**Please review…**_


	47. Chapter 47

**Hi lovelies! This is just a short little Gracie/Happy chapter because I absolutely love writing these two together and thought it would be fun. The next update will start dealing with Juice, Roosevelt, and the cartel.**

**Thanks to anyone who commented on the last chapter. I didn't get very many reviews, so I hoped you liked it. Please continue to let me know how I'm doing. I really appreciate each and every review!**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter 47

Gracie tried to focus on the early morning sunshine streaming through her sunroof and not all the shit currently going wrong in her life as she sped down the highway away from Charming and towards Bakersfield. Tara still wasn't speaking to her, she couldn't stand to be around Clay, every time she saw Jax her heart broke all over again, and she still had no idea what to say to Gemma. And Juice…well, he seemed to be doing better, but it was obvious to her that whatever the club was dealing with was taking its toll on him. Hell, it was taking its toll on all the guys. And the fact that no one was talking about it scared the fuck out of her.

But she wasn't going to worry about any of that now, nor would she let it ruin her day. She was on her way to pick up Maria and take her back to her home in Bakersfield where Hap had grown up and where she had spent nearly 40 years of her life until she was no longer to live by herself. They were meeting Hap's Aunt Rosa there to look through some old family albums and box up some things from the basement. Gracie had to blink away tears from her eyes when she thought about Maria. The cancer had come back even stronger this time around and treatments just weren't working anymore. She loved Happy's mom so much, and it was obvious to everyone that Maria was getting sicker and that it would only be a matter of time. So Gracie was determined to make every visit with her count and make the best of all the time she had left.

Gracie got to the nursing home and helped Maria into her Mustang, and then made the short drive through a slightly run down neighborhood until they pulled up in front of the house. She helped Maria out of the car and guided her to the sidewalk, not even remembering to lock the car. Gracie had learned that everyone on the block knew that the house belonged to Happy Lowman's mother, and she figured that no one on Earth would be stupid enough to steal from him.

They both looked over in confusion when they saw a large truck parked in the usually empty driveway. "Maria, are you expecting a delivery today?"

Maria shook her head. "No, querida. But I'm guessing those have something to do with it."

Gracie looked behind her and saw three Harleys parked on the street, one of them she recognized immediately as Happy's. Gracie just grinned as she wrapped her arm around Maria's shoulders. "Looks like we'll have some help moving all those boxes today."

Gracie opened the front door and they both cringed when they were immediately hit with a horrible smell wafting through the house. "Geez, what the hell is that?"

Just then Rosa, Happy's aunt, stepped out of the small kitchen and sighed. "Burnt pancakes."

Rosa hugged her sister and gave Gracie a kiss on the cheek before the three women walked back into the kitchen, or what used to be a kitchen, but was now currently a disaster zone. Miles, one of the new patches, was standing at the counter with his back to them. Gracie hadn't really gotten to know him very well in the last year, since he was quieter than most of the other guys and usually kept to himself, but he seemed nice enough and he was part of Samcro, so she always tried to make an effort.

She softly cleared her throat. "Um, hey Miles."

Miles turned around quickly, obviously startled, and accidentally flung a big gloppy mess of pancake batter off the whisk he was holding in his hand and right in Gracie's direction. "Oh, hey Grace. Oh, uh…shit. Sorry."

Gracie looked down at her splattered flannel before glancing at the lumpy batter running down the front of her bare legs towards her converse sneakers. _Oh, well. At least it missed my shorts._ She looked back up at Miles and gave him a small smile. "Can you get me some paper towels, please?"

Miles moved quickly but awkwardly as he searched the wreck of a kitchen for some napkins. "Oh, sure. Right. Here you go."

Gracie cleaned off her legs and threw the paper towels in the trash before simply abandoning her flannel, leaving her in just a low cut, tight white tank top and her denim cut-offs. Miles then turned back around, scraping something out of a pan, before shoving a plate on the kitchen table. "There's some extra for you ladies if you're hungry."

Gracie, Rosa, and Maria looked down at the plate of charred, blackened pancakes and tried not to wretch at the smell. Gracie just took the plate away and dumped it in the garbage. "Thanks, Miles. That's, uh…sweet of you, but we've already eaten."

Miles just grinned. "Cool." Then he threw the ruined frying pan in the sink and headed for the back door. "Hap's in the shower and Koz is outside guarding the…I mean, standing by the, uh…" Then he just pointed to the door and nodded. "I'm going outside."

As soon as he was out the door, Maria looked around the room, every inch covered in flour and batter, with a sink full of dirty dishes. "Dios ayúdame, what did he do to my kitchen?"

She and Rosa went to stand, but Gracie gently guided them back into their seats at the kitchen table. "You two sit. I'll clean all this up and then I'll make you some eggs or something, ok?"

Maria just smiled. "Gracias, Gracie."

Five minutes later, Gracie had managed to clean the cabinets, countertops, and floors, and was just about to start on the dishes when Happy came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. She couldn't help but grin. The moment his eyes landed on his mother, a rare full smile crossed his face and his dark brown eyes softened and warmed. Maria Lowman was the only person that ever got that reaction out of Hap and Gracie felt lucky every time she got to witness it.

He walked over to the table and kissed both women on their cheeks. "Hey, Ma. Hey, Tía." Then he looked over to the sink and finally noticed Gracie. He looked at her for a few moments before giving her a single nod of his head, the smile on his face remaining but smaller, sweeter. "Hey, Gracie."

Gracie ran a dishtowel through her hands as she leaned her back against the counter. "Hi, Hap."

He walked over to Maria's chair and rested one of his large hands on her small shoulder. "What are you three doing here today? I didn't know you were coming over."

Maria shook her head and grinned. "That's obvious, hijo. Do I want to know why you and your friends are in my house and why that big truck is parked outside?"

Hap just smirked. "No, you don't want to know." Then he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

Maria's eyes found Gracie's and she smiled. "Grace called me last night to see how I was feeling and I told her that I wanted to come to the house and organize a few things. She said she wasn't working today so she volunteered to come down and help me."

Gracie just shook her head and grinned. "That was just my excuse to come and see you, Maria. You know how I love our girl time." She winked at Maria and smiled before glancing up at Happy, who was watching her with an unreadable expression on his face. "Um, are we intruding on something here?" She nodded her head towards the back door where Miles had gone out a few minutes earlier.

Another beat passed with Hap just looking at her before he shook his head. "It's Ma's house. We're the ones intruding." Then he glanced behind Gracie and finally noticed the sink full of dishes, raising his eyebrows questioningly when he saw the towel in her hands.

She looked down at what he was staring at and shrugged her shoulders. "Apparently Miles made himself breakfast. I don't think it went very well."

That pissed off look that Happy sometimes got, the one that made grown men pee themselves, instantly crossed his face as he walked over to her and took the towel from her hands, placing it on the counter. "You ain't his maid."

Gracie couldn't help but quietly laugh when he went outside and she heard Hap's deep, raspy voice call out to Miles. "Hey, Dickhead! Are you the one that made pancakes? Go clean your shit up! Now!"

Rosa just shook her head and made the sign of the cross. "Ay, Dios mío! Such language he uses!"

Gracie bit her lip to hide her smile as she walked over to Maria and helped her out of the chair. "Why don't you two go to the living room and relax for a while? After the kitchen's been cleaned, I'll make your breakfast and bring it to you in there. Then we can get started on the boxes."

By the time Gracie returned to the kitchen from getting Maria settled onto the couch, Miles was back at the sink scrubbing the dirty plates and pans, Happy standing over him with his arms crossed over his chest.

Miles was a shade paler than he'd been earlier that morning as he glanced up at Hap before sheepishly looking at Gracie. "Sorry, Grace. I shouldn't have assumed you'd clean this up for me."

Gracie had to pretend to cough and place her hand over her mouth to hide her smile. "That's ok, Miles. No big deal, really." Then she looked up at Happy, and although he still wore an angry frown on his face, she could see the laughter hiding behind his eyes. "Hey, Hap. I'm sure you guys are busy, but do you have time to help me bring up some stuff from the basement for your mom?"

Hap just nodded. "Sure." He gave Miles one more death glare before following Gracie down the hallway to the basement door.

When they got to the stairwell, Hap turned on the light and went down first, guiding Gracie down the rickety wooden staircase. Maria's basement was typical for a house of that age; dark and damp, with cobwebs on the cinderblock walls and dust covering the concrete floor, the only light coming from the single bulb hanging loosely in the middle of the space.

"You ok over there?"

Gracie looked up at Happy when he spoke and then looked down at herself, totally unaware that she had started to tremble. Her cheeks immediately flushed in embarrassment. "Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just not a big fan of basements." Hap raised his eyebrows questioningly and waited for her to continue before she rolled her eyes and sighed. "Ugh, it's spiders, alright? I'm a grown woman and I'm terrified of spiders. There. I said it. And basements like this are freaking breeding grounds for them! I mean, look at all these dark corners! They could be anywhere!"

Hap didn't say anything, but she could see the way he was trying like hell not to laugh at her, which made her turn even redder. "Oh, shut up Happy Lowman."

He finally let out a small chuckle as he walked over to her and ruffled his hand in her hair. "Come on, I think the shit Ma wants is over there. And don't worry. I'll protect you from anything hiding in the corners."

Gracie rolled her eyes but smiled when she saw the grin still on his face. "Are you done laughing at me yet?"

His smile got a little wider. "I will be soon."

A few minutes later Happy was helping her get some cardboard boxes and plastic containers down from a tall shelving unit. Gracie smiled when she opened up one of the boxes and saw a bunch of old baseball stuff; a little boy's bat, a worn out glove, and a framed picture of a young Happy in his little league uniform. She raised the picture up to Hap and smiled. "I can't believe your mom still has all this stuff. Look how cute you were! Do you remember this?"

Hap looked down at the picture and she saw the corners of his mouth barely turn upwards. "Yeah, I remember. I got kicked off the team for beating up a pitcher that hit me in the leg with a fastball."

Gracie grinned. "Why does that not surprise me?" She started going through the box again but paused when she saw that Happy had stopped moving and was just standing there, looking out into the darkness of the basement. "Happy? What is it?"

Hap placed his hands on his hips and turned away from her, his voice barely more than a whisper. "She's real sick this time, isn't she?"

Gracie turned towards him and opened her mouth, but she didn't exactly know what to say. It was impossible not to notice the weight that Maria had lost in the last few weeks and how much weaker she seemed to be getting every day. It devastated her to think about Maria's cancer, so she could only imagine how painful it was for him. They had known for a long time that she would never go into remission, that she would never be cured. But it didn't make it any easier. He loved her. She was his mother.

Gracie took a step forward and placed a gentle hand on his back, her voice quiet. "She's not in pain. She's in good spirits. She has her friends and her sister and most of all, she has you. She still smiles every day, Hap. You have to hold on to that for now."

Happy turned back around and sat down on one of the boxes, shielding his face in his hand for a moment before looking up at Gracie. When he spoke, his voice was trembling. "I'm going to lose her."

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat when she saw the unshed tears welling in his eyes. Then she placed her hands on the sides of his face, leaned down, and kissed him softly on the forehead. "But not today, Hap. You're not going to lose her today. Today she's here, she's right up those stairs, and she loves you."

He never moved away from her, just nodded once as he fought to get control of his emotions. They stood there like that for a few more moments, Happy silently staring at her as she cradled his face in her hands. But after a while, when she went to step away, he suddenly reached out and gently held her wrist. "Gracie…"

She watched him look down at the floor and take a deep breath before lifting his face back to hers, obviously at war with himself over what he wanted to say next. Then after a few seconds he finally opened his mouth to speak, but he wasn't able to get the words out before Gracie started screaming.

"Eeeeek!" Gracie jumped up on the nearest plastic container and shrieked as chills ran up and down her body.

Hap jumped up and looked around, his hand automatically reaching for his weapon, but when he looked around he didn't see anything. "What? What is it?"

Gracie was still perched up on the container, her face bright red and her whole body shaking. "Hap, look down! It's huge and it ran right across my shoe! Oh my god, I think I'm gonna throw up."

Happy glanced down at the floor and a big, slow grin spread across his face when he saw a quarter-sized black spider resting not too far from his boot. Then he looked back up at Gracie and smiled. "Really?"

Gracie squeezed her eyes shut as she tried unsuccessfully to stop freaking out. "Hap! Do something! Help me!"

His smile widened as he tried to hold back his laughter. "What do you want me to do?"

Gracie groaned and stomped her foot down. "Kill it! Step on it, stab it, shoot it! I don't care! Just get it away from me!"

Happy just stood there for a minute, his entire body shaking with pent in laughter before Gracie looked back down at him and shrieked. "Happy! Please!"

He smiled at her for a few seconds longer before finally putting her out of her misery, slamming his size 12 boot down onto the floor until he heard a squish.

Gracie grimaced. "Oh god, that's disgusting." She took a few deep breaths, trying to slow her breathing and her heart rate, before she looked back up at Happy. "You can take that smirk off your face now, Hap."

Hap put his hand up to his mouth and tried without luck to hide his grin. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Gracie just shook her head and did her best to glare at him, but after a few seconds, she bit her lip, rolled her eyes, and smiled. She hopped down off the container and went to stand in front of him, playfully poking her finger into his chest. "You better not breathe a word about this to anyone, Lowman. If word gets out, I'll lose all my badass street cred."

Hap just smiled and shook his head. Then he threw his arm around her shoulders, kissed the top of her head, and walked her back to the stairs. "Your secret's safe with me."

**Please review!**


	48. Chapter 48

**Wow, you guys! Big response to the last chapter! I'm so glad you all seem to love Hap and Gracie's** **relationship as much as I do. Thanks for all the reviews and the feedback, and thanks to all the new guests, followers, and favoriters :)**

**This one picks up right where the last chapter left off. Hope you like it and please review!**

Chapter 48

Gracie was sitting on the floor of Maria's living room when she heard the sound of Harleys pulling up in front of the house. Hoping that maybe Juice had come by with the others, she quickly hopped up and walked through the house to the back door, opening it just in time to see a furious Jax shoving Kozik across the yard.

"You stupid fuck!" Jax screamed in Koz's face one more time before lunging at him, but he was stopped quickly by Opie and Tig.

Gracie scanned the crowd and realized that both Juice and Chibs were missing before taking a few steps forward. "Jax?"

But she stopped dead in her tracks when he turned his glare and rage from Kozik and suddenly directed it in her direction. "Get back in the fucking house, Gracie!"

Jax took a deep breath and sighed when he saw the color drain from her face, cursing quietly to himself before he looked back at her apologetically, his voice strained by his barely controlled anger. "Gracie, go back inside. Please."

She stood there frozen for just a few seconds until she moved her head slightly and her eyes landed on Happy's face. She watched him glare at Jax for a moment before he turned to face her. He didn't say anything, but his eyes softened as he nodded his head towards the house.

Gracie noticed that all the guys were staring at her and she could feel the heat spreading across her cheeks as she blushed in embarrassment. Then she simply muttered, "Sorry," before taking a few unsteady steps backwards, escaping into the house and closing the door behind her.

* * *

She was sitting at the kitchen table about five minutes later when Hap walked back into the house, going straight to the row of hooks on the hallway wall where he retrieved his kutte and his holster. Gracie watched in silence as he fastened the holster over his shoulders and then put on his kutte, before reaching up into one of the canisters on top of the refrigerator and pulling out a small semi-automatic. He placed the gun on the table in front of Gracie and sighed when he saw the worry all over her face. "It's just a precaution. Someone stole something from us and we gotta go get it back. I don't think they'd be stupid enough to come back here and try something, but just in case." He picked it up once more and checked that there was a fully loaded clip before pulling back the slide and placing a round in the chamber. "It's a Sig .380. Juice said you're good with guns. Do you know how to use this?"

Gracie tried to stop her hand from shaking as she took the pistol out of his hand. "Yeah."

He turned and walked towards the door, but Gracie reached out with her free hand and grabbed one of his, causing him to turn around. "Hap, where's Juice? Why isn't he here?"

"He's ok, Gracie. Phil said that Chibs was real sick this morning, had food poisoning or some shit, so Juice took him over to Clear Passages." When he saw the relief flood her face, his lips momentarily twitched upwards into a barely perceptible grin before he went back to his usually blank expression. "Stay inside and keep the doors locked. Don't let anyone in until we get back."

He turned towards the door, but just as he went to pull away Gracie squeezed his hand a little tighter, causing him to look back at her face. He could see the anxiety hiding behind her eyes, but she just nodded once before giving him the smallest of smiles. "Be careful."

He didn't say anything, just squeezed her hand in return before opening the door and walking outside.

* * *

For the next hour, Gracie tried to focus on helping Maria and Rosa sort boxes, but she spent most of the time nervously pacing back and forth across the kitchen floor. She was worried about the guys, worried about Chibs, and despite what Hap had told her earlier, worried sick about Juice. She had tried texting him twice in the last hour, but he had yet to write her back, which wasn't like him at all. She was just about to try calling him when she heard the rumble of bikes coming back down the street.

She took the gun from the kitchen table and unloaded it before placing it back into the canister. Then she sat back down and waited for someone to come in and tell her it was ok to go outside.

She heard the bikes pull into the driveway and then silence as the engines were shut off. And just a few moments later, the back door was being unlocked and Happy and Jax walked into the kitchen. Hap just looked down at where she was sitting and gave her a single nod before making his way into the living room.

She looked up at Jax, but before she could say anything, he took a few steps towards her chair and stood in front of her, placing one of his hands on her neck and leaning down, giving her a sweet kiss on the top of her head. "I shouldn't have yelled at you earlier, Gracie. I'm sorry. You caught me at a really bad time."

Gracie looked into his crystal blue eyes and nodded. "It's fine. I understand. Did you find whatever it was that was taken from you?"

Jax blew out a breath as a small grin crossed his face. "Yeah. It's all good." He went to the other side of the table and sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, closing his eyes as he leaned his head back and sighed. "Shit can get so fucked up so fast, you know? I try so hard to do the right thing, and something always happens to set it on fire." He glanced up at Gracie and couldn't help but smile when he saw the love and concern in her eyes. "Sorry, I've had a rough morning. I don't need to dump my shit on you."

Gracie shook her head and reached across the small table to hold one of his hands. "Hey. You're my brother. My family. Dump on me anytime you want. You know I'll always be here for you."

Jax's smile softened. "You know, I miss this. I miss you. Since we got out of Stockton, I feel like we haven't spent any time together. I swear, I think I talked to you more when I was locked up." Then he squeezed Gracie's hand and winked at her. "Love you, darlin'."

Gracie had to swallow the lump forming in her throat, because as Jax sat in front of her and smiled, there was only one thought running through her mind. _Three days. Tara only has three more days to tell Jax the truth about the letters before I have to. Three days until he learns that the love of his life and mother of his children has lied to him the entire time he was inside. Three days until he learns that his mother and stepfather may have killed his father. Three days until his entire life shatters into pieces. _She meant it when she said that he was her brother. She loved him with her whole heart, and the thought of him hurting destroyed her. But letting him live the rest of his life in the ugly shadows of lies and allowing the rest of the club to suffer because of it? That thought was worse than anything.

She wanted to tell him the truth right then and there, free him from the deceit that had been unknowingly dictating his life since the day John Teller died. But she had promised Tara a week, and she prayed with everything she had that in the next three days, her best friend would choose to do the right thing. So for now, she just nodded her head, forced a small smile, and held his hand a little longer. "I love you too, Jax."

* * *

Juice found it hard to breathe as he walked out of the sheriff's station that afternoon. Every second of every minute of the last few hours replayed over and over again in his head and he couldn't focus on anything except the overwhelming sense of dread that now threatened to consume him.

God, how long had it been since he had heard that name? _Michael Howard Cole…_He wasn't lying to people when he said he had no idea who his father was. Because in his heart, he didn't. He'd never met or spoken to the man in his entire life. No contact. No relationship. Nothing. As far as Juice was concerned, his father never existed.

But that name, Michael Howard Cole, had haunted him since he was eleven years old. He had heard the rumors around the neighborhood, that he was a mistake brought about by his mom being careless with one of her regulars one night when she worked one of the corners in Queens. But it was only confirmed one night when, high as a fucking kite, his mom showed him a photo and some old letters that she had saved in a shoebox in her closet. Apparently, he wasn't one of her regulars. He was her fucking pimp, who she screwed occasionally in exchange for money or drugs. At least she did until she got knocked up and he took off without a trace.

That night Juice learned a lot about himself; he was mistake, he was unwanted, his mother had been a prostitute as well as a drug addict, his father was a pimp and a dealer, and much to his surprise, his father was black.

Juice's mother had been a fucking mess, but at least she had the good sense to leave Cole's name off of his birth certificate and mark the "race" box as "Hispanic." She knew that the neighborhood they lived in was overwhelmingly Puerto Rican and that racial lines were drawn as hard as gang territories. Juice's childhood was already fucked, but it would have been impossible if the other kids in his hood had known that he was half black.

He had carried the secret with him his entire life, burying it somewhere in the darkest recesses of his mind. No one knew. No friends. No family. Hell, he didn't even think his sister ever knew. And when he became a Son and read the by-laws that banned anyone Black from joining the club, he buried it even deeper.

So how Eli Roosevelt found out about Michael Howard Cole was a fucking mystery.

The entire time that his feet moved down the street, back towards Clear Passages and his bike, all he could think about was the club. _It's my life. It's my purpose. I'd bleed for my club. I'd die for my club._ He couldn't imagine life without the Sons, without his kutte and the pride that came with wearing it…without his brothers and his best friends. And everything that Roosevelt said was true; if it came out that he was black and had knowingly lied to the club when he patched in, he would be excommunicated. He would lose his patch, lose his ink, lose his livelihood, and lose his family.

And then he stopped moving, stopped fucking breathing, when one horrifying thought burned through his brain…_And I would lose Gracie._

_Because I wouldn't be the only one who lost my family. Gracie has already had so much taken from her. First her mom, then her dad. Hell, losing Half-Sack fucking wrecked her. If I get kicked out of the club, how the fuck am I supposed to let her go with me? Leave Charming and never return, never see anyone that she loves ever again? Gemma's like a mother to her, Chibs and Jax are her brothers, and Tara…Christ, she loves Tara and those little boys more than she loves her own life. How can I take her away from all that?_

_And even if I was selfish enough to let her come with me, how the fuck am I suppose to support her? I'm a shitty mechanic and a high school dropout with a felony record. I'll never get an honest job, and there's no way in hell I could ever let her support me. What the fuck would I do?_

_She loves me. It took me so long to accept it, but she loves me so fucking much. I know she'd come with me, because that's who she is. But I also know that someday, she'd regret it. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not in a year. But someday, five or ten years from now, she'll look at me and see the reason that she lost everything. She'll look at me and see the man that ruined her life._

He took a few deep breaths and compelled his legs to start moving again until he finally reached his bike. Climbing on, he felt nothing short of paralyzed. Roosevelt had made no demands, didn't even really threaten him. The sheriff just said that he knew the truth about his dad and sent him on his way. But Juice knew that it was only a matter of time before he was contacted again and asked to do something that would hurt the club. There's no way that the cops would have that kind of leverage over him and not use it to their advantage.

So for now he could do nothing but take the last few hours, along with the last twenty years of his life, and bury them down again, along with the image of a man he never knew, who abandoned him before he ever even took his first breath. For now, he could do nothing but strap on his helmet, rev his engine, and guide his Harley back to the clubhouse.

He had a vote to cast.

* * *

Juice sat at the redwood table, frozen, as the aftermath of the vote sunk in. He knew that Clay, Jax, and Tig would vote yes on muling for the cartel, just as he knew that he, Hap, Chibs, Piney, and Bobby would vote no. He shook his head when Miles votes yes, frowned in confusion when Opie did the same, but was fucking floored when Kozik voted to get into the drug business. _I mean, fuck, he almost died and nearly lost his patch from his cocaine addiction, and now he suddenly wanted the club to bring heroine into Northern Cali? What the fuck?_

Everyone who had voted no stormed outside as fast as possible, no one saying a word, too furious to trust themselves to speak. Juice found that he didn't give a shit about Roosevelt in that moment, because the more immediate threat was the cartel and what would happen to him, his brothers, and their families if anything with the guns or the drugs went to shit. The principles they believed in were now compromised. The trust they had in each other was vanishing. The brotherhood was now forever fractured. It was as though everything he loved about the club was disintegrating into nothing in front of his eyes and he was powerless to do anything about it.

He walked outside to the lot, desperate for some air, and was surprised to find Gracie sitting alone on one of the picnic tables. Part of him was hoping to avoid her, unable to bear the thought of looking into those big green eyes and lying to her about so many things he just couldn't talk about. But a bigger part was relieved to find her there. Just seeing her face always made everything a little bit better. "Hey, Gracie Jane."

Gracie looked up and gave him a small smile before standing to walk towards him. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, holding him close, and then gave him a short, sweet kiss. "Hey, you." She looked around the lot, noticing the way Chibs stormed passed her without a word and how Happy tore out of the lot like a bat out of hell, before looking back to Juice and frowning. "What happened?"

Juice placed one of his hands on the side of her neck and caressed her jaw. After a moment he just shook his head. "It was a real bad vote, sweetheart. Really fucking bad."

"Can you talk about it?"

It killed him to see the worry in her eyes, but all he could do was shake his head again. "No."

Juice then glanced up and saw Tara standing with the boys across the lot, waiting for Jax. He had noticed over the past few days that Gracie and Tara seemed to be keeping their distance from each other, but he had no idea why. When he looked down and saw that Gracie was staring in that direction as well, he moved his hand down to her arm and squeezed. When she looked back at him he nodded his head in Tara's direction. "Do you want to tell me what's going on there?"

Gracie bit her lip and sighed. _Three more days._ This time it was her turn to shake her head. "I can't. Not yet, anyway. But I promise I'll tell you soon."

Juice looked at her, totally lost. Gracie was always an open book, so whatever was going on between her and Tara had to be pretty serious. He wanted to press her more, but then he remembered all the things he was keeping from her and felt too much like a hypocrite to say anything else. So instead he just nodded his head and held her hand, pulling her towards his bike. "Come on. Let's go home."

* * *

They had a quiet dinner in rare silence, both afraid not only of what they were individually dealing with, but what the other wasn't willing to say. Then they sat beside each other on the couch while they watched a movie, but even though they were barely an inch apart, they could both feel the unfamiliar distance between them. They didn't hide things from each other. They didn't have secrets. And the weight of knowing that they were each keeping something from the other was suffocating.

As soon as they went to bed, Juice laid down on his back and pulled Gracie over onto his chest, just like always. But when Gracie wrapped her arms around his waist, instead of feeling him relax, she felt him stiffen. Unable to stand it any longer, Gracie rose up and stared at his beautiful face before leaning forward and kissing him. "Roll over, baby."

Juice didn't ask why, just turned his body so that he was lying on his belly with his arms tucked under his pillow. Then Gracie climbed onto him, straddling his hips, and started slowly massaging his back. "Jesus, you're so tense."

Juice didn't say anything, he only sighed, as Gracie's small hands kneaded the knotted muscles around his neck and shoulders. And as she worked her magic down the length of his spine, he couldn't help but moan. "That feels so fucking good, Gracie Jane."

Then he felt her lips against the base of his neck, kissing softly down the length of his body, all the way to the top of his boxers. And the whole time, in between gentle licks and caresses, she kept whispering…_I love you so much…I want to take care of you…I'll always be here…You're everything to me…_

Suddenly desperate to look at her, Juice flipped over onto his back and reached for her, meeting her gaze before kissing her with everything he had. Their lips moved against each other hungrily, and when she opened her mouth to him, he relished the taste and feel of her tongue against his own.

Gracie rose up slightly from where she was straddling Juice's hips just enough to pull his boxers down and reveal his completely hardened length. She was already wet just from the time she spent touching and caressing his perfect caramel skin, and so in need of him, that she didn't waste another moment. She just pushed her lace panties to the side with one hand, and then grasped his cock with the other, guiding him to her entrance and plunging herself on top of him so that he was completely sheathed in one quick movement.

They both groaned at the amazing feeling of finally being connected to each other, Juice forcefully grabbing her hips while Gracie grinded against him in slow, rhythmic circles. She rode him in ecstasy, rocking her hips against him as her climax got closer and closer with each perfect thrust of his cock. And when he moved his hands off her hips, one finding her breast and the other circling her clit, it was only a matter of moments before she placed her hands on his chest and screamed out his name. "Juan Carlos…oh my god…oh baby…"

He never stopped touching her until the last aftershock of her orgasm left her body, and then he quickly flipped them over so that he was on top of her, cradled between her legs. He laced his hands in hers and placed them on either side of her head as he started slowly thrusting into her now impossibly tight, wet center. "Fuck, Gracie…you feel so perfect, sweetheart…"

He was looking into her eyes the whole time, thinking about how much he loved her, about how he still couldn't believe that this gorgeous, amazing woman underneath him was actually his wife. But then, without warning, another thought invaded his head without permission. _What if she leaves when I lose my patch? What if she gets killed by the fucking cartel? How the hell would I ever live without her?_

Juice was lost in the fears haunting his mind until he felt Gracie's hands on either side of his face. When he focused his eyes once again onto hers, they were filled with sadness.

Gracie bit her lip and frowned, her voice close to tears. "Where did you go just now, baby?"

Juice just shook his head as he once again moved inside of her, this time doing everything he could to stay in the present instead of losing himself in the dread of the unknown. "I'm right here, Gracie Jane."

Gracie lifted her hips and locked her legs around his waist as his thrusts got faster and deeper, bringing them both to the brink. And just a few minutes later as the tightening in his belly took hold and stars started shining behind his eyes, they both fell over the edge.

Even when Gracie's slick, quivering walls stopped pulsating around him, Juice never moved, too content being inside her, with no space between them, held tightly in her arms. When he finally pulled out of her a few minutes later, he once again fell onto his back and pulled Gracie on top of him, but this time the distance between them was gone. This time it felt the same as always. This time it felt like home.

When she slowly caught her breath and felt her heart rate return to normal, Gracie lifted her head off of Juice's chest so that she could look at his face. His brown eyes that she loved so much were at once happy and pained, and the knowledge that something was tearing him apart inside broke her heart into pieces.

She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed his face; first his eyes, then his jaw, and then his soft, perfect lips, and then spoke with a quiet sweetness that she saved just for him. "No matter what's going on, no matter how bad you think it is, we can get through anything as long as we're together. Please tell me you believe that."

Juice blinked away tears, kissing her once more, before whispering against her lips. "I'm trying to."

**Please review…**


	49. Chapter 49

**I cried the entire time I wrote the last half of this chapter. Seriously, like, sat in front of my computer and sobbed. I'm still feeling super emotional. Not much to say, just that I hope you** **like it and please review…**

Chapter 49

It wasn't even light out when Gracie was awakened by Juice opening their dresser drawers and shoving clothes into his backpack.

She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and yawned. "Baby? What are you doing?"

Juice walked to her side of the bed, leaned down, and kissed her. "Hey, sweetheart. I was trying not to wake you. Clay called late last night. We have to go to Tucson for a bike show this morning."

Gracie knew that "bike show" was usually code for a gun run, but before they had always gone north towards Canada, never to Arizona. She bit her lip and frowned. "Why are you going south?"

Juice shrugged and gave her a small half smile that never reached his eyes. "I think there are some issues with Samtaz that Clay wants to deal with. Nothing you have to worry about."

"Have you met me, Ortiz? I worry about everything." She sat up in bed as he walked over to the closet and pulled out some more clothes. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she knew that they needed to resolve, but she didn't want to stress him out any more than he already was when he had a long ride ahead of him. So instead she forced a small smile. "How long will you be gone?"

He walked out of the closet and stuffed some cargo pants in his bag. "Just a couple of days."

Gracie looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap and sighed. "You, uh…you said that you didn't want to wake me. Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?"

Juice stopped packing long enough to meet her eyes, and for the first time that morning, really looked at her. He shook his head before taking a few steps towards the bed and sitting down in front of her, kissing her lips before pulling her close to his chest. "I would never leave without saying goodbye."

Gracie wrapped her arms tightly around his back, fisting his t-shirt in her hands and burying her face against the warm skin on his neck. "Listen, I know things haven't been easy for you, for us, since you got out of prison. And I know that you think you have to hide things from me right now. I want you to open up to me, I'm your wife and I need to help you through whatever shit you're dealing with. But until you're ready to tell me, just know that nothing, _nothing_, is more important to me than your happiness and our life together. And I swear, whatever you're carrying inside you, whatever it is, it could never change how much I love you."

Juice kissed the auburn waves beside her temple before placing his hands on the sides of her face and guiding it up so he could look at her. His eyes were shining and warm, but his voice sounded so far away. "What would I ever do without you, Gracie Jane?"

She raised her hands to his cheeks and stroked his skin with her thumbs before kissing him softly. "You'll never have to find out."

She kissed him once more before climbing out of bed and throwing on his discarded t-shirt from the night before. "Go start the coffee pot, baby. I'll finish packing for you."

"You should go back to bed, sweetheart."

Gracie just shook her head and gave him a small smile. "I'm not going to see you for two days. I want as much time with you as I can get. Go on and relax for a few minutes. Play with Luke. I'll get this."

Juice nodded and kissed her forehead before disappearing into the kitchen.

* * *

It was nearly six in the morning when Juice rode out of their driveway towards the clubhouse, and as soon as he was gone, she took out her cell phone and called the third person on her speed dial.

The phone only rang twice before she heard her Scotsman. "Good morning, sweet girl."

"Morning, Chibs. Sorry I'm calling so early. Did I wake you?"

"Never too early to hear your voice, lass. Besides, I've been up for a while now getting ready for the run. Is Juicey ready to go?"

"Yeah, he just left a minute ago for the clubhouse." She bit her lip and sighed before continuing. "Chibs, have you noticed anything…you know, off about Juice lately?"

A moment of silence passed before he spoke. "You've noticed too?"

"Listen, I know that you guys are dealing with some bad shit right now, although I have no idea what it is. Juice hasn't talked to me about any club business since he got out of Stockton. And I don't know if it's just the club or something else, but I'm worried about him."

"You're right, love. The shit we have going on right now has us all a bit lost, and I'm sure that's a big part of it. And the guys have only been free for about a week. Serving time does strange things to a man, and sometimes it takes a while to start really living your life again on the outside."

Gracie nodded, praying that what Chibs said was true. "You're right. That's probably it. It's just really hard to see him struggling. He's not letting me in and I feel so fucking helpless."

"Just being you is enough, Grace. Don't give up on him, be there for him, keep loving him like you always do. Everything will be ok. And I promise to keep an eye on him for you, alright? I won't let anything happen to him."

Gracie couldn't help but smile. "Do you have any idea how much I love you, Filip Telford?"

She heard him chuckle softly into the phone. "Probably just about as much as I love you, sweet girl."

"Hey, when you get back, come over and I'll make you dinner. I've barely seen you since Ope and Lyla's wedding."

"I know. It's strange not seeing you every day. But I did have you practically to myself for the last 14 months, so I guess I can't be too angry that I have to share you now."

She laughed for a moment before sighing. "Please be careful on the run."

"Always, love. Talk to you soon."

"Talk to you soon. Bye, Chibs."

* * *

Gracie was supposed to have the day off, but with Juice out of town now, she was dreading sitting around the house with nothing to do. So she called St. Thomas and asked if they needed any help. Luckily for her, someone else had called in sick and they were short staffed. She took a five minute shower, pulled her hair in a pony tail, and quickly threw on the first set of clean scrubs in her closet. Then she kissed Luke and patted him on the head before walking outside, climbing into her car, and heading for the hospital.

She was half way through her shift and walking back from the cafeteria when she ran into Tara in the hallway. "Hey, Knowles."

Tara crossed her arms over her chest and looked down at the floor. "Hey, Gracie Jane."

Gracie reached out for her arm when she saw the slight tremble in her body. "Tara, are you alright?"

Tara looked up to the ceiling and Gracie could see the tears threatening to spill down. "No."

Gracie quickly grabbed her hand and held is as she walked them back towards Tara's office. "Come on, Doc."

As soon as they got to the office, Gracie shut the door and they both sat down on the small sofa. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Piney was just here. I…I talked to him about the letters."

Gracie was stunned. "You what?"

Tara just nodded. "Once this summer, a few months after the guys went inside, I asked him about John Teller and the history of the club. He told me then that it was better to let the past stay buried. But I guess now things have changed."

"What changed, Knowles?"

Tara let out a shaky sigh. "Apparently whatever the club is involved in right now is really bad, Gracie Jane. Really fucking dangerous. And Piney thinks if I give Jax the letters that he can stop Clay from doing whatever he's doing and put an end to whatever they've gotten themselves into."

Gracie let out a slow, deep breath as she fought against the fear rising up in her chest. "Tara, you have to…"

"It's not that simple, Gracie!" Tara stood up and started pacing, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "Don't you see, if Jax leaves the club and we take our boys away from all this, we're leaving all the danger behind too. It won't matter whatever threat the club is facing, because we won't be here to face it. We'll be safe."

Gracie just bit her lip and shook her head, her voice unable to hide the hurt she was feeling. "But…but I'll be here, Knowles. And so will Juice and Opie and Lyla and the kids and everyone else we love. And what Piney said…"

Tara shook her head as her tears finally started to fall. "Piney is the perfect example of why leaving is the only option. He's a barely functioning alcoholic who not only allowed the club to destroy his marriage, but allowed it to ruin the life of his only son. I love Opie. He's been my friend since we were in elementary school. But he already sacrificed five years of his life to prison and lost his wife to a gunshot wound. None of that would have happened if Piney and Mary would have put their child's needs ahead of their own and taken him away from all this."

Gracie stood up and held both of Tara's hands in her own. "Knowles, you're right! I agree with everything you just said. It's wrong to raise children in such a violent, unstable environment. And Opie and Jax have suffered terribly because of the choices their parents made. But I truly believe, with every fiber of my being, that if you tell Jax the truth, he will change the club and make it safe. He has a chance to fix everything that John and Clay and Piney fucked up all those years ago. Jax wants the club to be legitimate, he wants them out of guns, and he wants his family, _all of our families_, to be out of danger. But to do that he has to stay, he has to lead, and he has to know the truth."

A long moment of silence passed before Tara looked into Gracie's eyes, her voice unsteady and raw. "If I tell him…do you really believe, in your heart, that the club can walk away from everything illegal? From everything violent? From everything that could get my sons killed?"

Gracie leaned forward and kissed Tara's cheek before wrapping her up in a tight hug. "I swear on my life and on the love I have for you and my nephews, I believe it." She went to the door and placed her hand on the knob, but turned back to Tara just before walking out. "I'm glad you talked to Piney and I'm glad you're thinking about telling Jax. You're the love if his life, his rock. It should come from you. I want that more than anything. But nothing's changed…one way or another, when the guys get back from Tucson, he's going to know the everything."

* * *

It had been a long ride and an even longer day. Samtaz was a fucking mess, _although who am I kidding? So is Samcro._ He couldn't believe that his brothers in Arizona had actually voted to start dealing meth. It had been an unwritten rule for as long as the club had been in existence that the Sons were not in the drug business. And now one charter is pushing on the streets while the fucking mother charter is muling cocaine for a cartel.

Juice thought back to the argument Bobby and Clay had at the bike show earlier, and even though Clay was his president and like a father to him, he 100% agreed with Bobby. Dealing or muling, there's no fucking difference. It's all drugs, it's all dirty, and it's all fucking dangerous.

Totally exhausted from the trip and all the shit swimming in his head, Juice ignored the party raging outside and locked the door to the room he'd be sleeping in at the Samtaz clubhouse. He sat down on the bed and ran his hand over his mohawk a few times, trying like hell not to think about the risk they would all be taking in two days bringing the drugs back to Charming. He also tried to ignore his conversation with Roosevelt. The sheriff had yet to contact him since threatening to out his paternity to the club, but Juice knew that it was only a matter of time.

Filthy and sweaty from the long ride and boiling Arizona temperatures, he took a much needed shower and then walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He went to the bed and opened his backpack to get a pair of boxers, but he stopped and grinned when he saw that there was a folded piece of paper resting on top of his clothes. And his smile only grew when he opened it up and read the words.

_Juan Carlos,_

_In case you get lonely…_

_I love you,_

_Gracie_

He looked back into his backpack and his breath hitched when he saw that the note had been resting on a pair of yellow silk panties with delicate white lace trim around the edges. He recognized them immediately because they were the same pair that Gracie had worn the day before, the same pair that he had pulled down her legs and thrown onto the floor before making love to her. He caressed the smooth fabric between his fingertips before lifting them to his face and inhaling deeply, feeling himself harden as soon as he was hit with Gracie's familiar, addictive scent. _Fuck, I love my wife._

He reached for his phone that was sitting on the bedside table before dropping the towel to the floor and lying down on the bed. And with the panties still clenched in his hand, he dialed her number.

The phone only rang once before she answered. "Baby?"

Juice smiled and bit his lip. _God, her voice is sexy. _"Hey, sweetheart." He raised the panties to his face once more and sighed. "I got your note."

He could swear that he somehow felt her smile from all those miles away before he heard her softly giggled. "Did you like your surprise, Mr. Ortiz?"

He grinned as he placed the panties on his completely hardened cock and closed his fist around it so that his entire length was surrounded by silk. "Yeah, I did." Then as he started to move his fist slowly up and down, he groaned into the phone. "Now tell me…what are you wearing, Mrs. Ortiz?"

* * *

Gracie had been asleep for about two hours when she was awakened by her phone vibrating on the nightstand. She looked down at the caller ID flashing brightly and when saw who it was, she got a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Hap? Is that you?"

"Gracie…" His voice was unsteady and she could hear the way his breath was coming out in shallow, rapid bursts.

"Hap, what happened? What's wrong?"

"It's Ma. The nursing home called. She collapsed a few minutes ago and she's not waking up. The hospice nurse was there and they told me…" He took a few deep breaths before she heard his voice, strained with emotion. "They told that I should prepare myself, that I should get there as soon as possible."

She closed her eyes and tried unsuccessfully to fight back her tears. "Oh, Hap. I'm so sorry."

"Gracie, I was on my way to Canada with Kozik. We had to go North to deal with the Irish. I'm somewhere just south of the Oregon border and I'm turning around right now, but…" She cried even harder when she realized he was trying like hell to compose himself. "Gracie, I'm afraid I won't make it in time. I don't want her to be alone."

She was already out of bed and rushing to her closet. "It's ok, Hap. Don't worry. Just be careful and get there as soon as you can. I'm on my way."

* * *

Gracie dropped Luke off with Chucky and then flew down the highway. She got to Bakersfield around 3:30 in the morning and went right to Maria's bedside. She talked to the nurse on staff who confirmed that Hap's mom had fallen into a coma a couple of hours before and that, based on her vital signs and lab results, the end was imminent and could come at any time. When the nurse excused herself from the room, Gracie pulled a chair up to the bed and sat beside her friend, a woman that had grown to mean so much to her over the last year. Maria had made her smile, renewed her faith, and gave her purpose during Juice's incarceration, without a doubt the hardest time of her life. Gracie was so incredibly grateful for the time she had with Maria Lowman, and painfully aware of how badly she would miss her when she was gone.

She took Maria's hand and spoke to her, somehow certain that she could hear her. "Maria, it's Grace. I just wanted to thank you for inviting me into your life the way you did. You'll never know what your friendship has meant to me. You're one of the most beautiful human beings I've ever met; so strong, so brave, and I'm going to miss you every day. But I know how long you've suffered, and I know how long you've waited to see Richard and your family again in heaven. So I understand why you need to go. Just please…please wait just a few more hours. I know you're tired, but try and hold on a little longer so that Happy can say goodbye. He needs to say goodbye. You've been such an amazing mother. You just need to do this one last thing for him. Please…"

She tried to go one, but her voice caught in her throat as quiet sobs overtook her. So she just lowered her head to the bed, resting it against Maria's hand, and prayed with everything she had that Happy would make it in time.

* * *

Six hours and five cups of coffee later, Gracie was still sitting awake by Maria's bedside when the door swung open and an exhausted Happy walked into the room. His eyes went directly to his mother, and when he saw her tiny, barely breathing form he paled, reaching out for the bed rail for support.

Gracie jumped up and wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him, as her other hand found his cheek and guided his eyes to hers.

His voice was so quiet she almost didn't hear him. "Is she…is she…"

Gracie gently shook her head and led him over to sit in the chair. "She's still here, Happy."

Relief flooded his face as he grasped his mother's small, frail hand and held it in his own, his other hand running gently over the soft brown and gray hair around her forehead. He spoke to Gracie, even though his eyes never left Maria. "How is she?"

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat as she stood behind his chair and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Her breathing has slowed a lot over the last couple of hours. So has her heart rate. She hasn't opened her eyes since I've been here."

Gracie squeezed his shoulder as she felt a tremor run through his body. "Is…is she hurting?"

Tears silently streamed down her cheeks as she fought to control the sadness in her voice. "No, Hap. The nurses have been really good with the medication. She's not in any pain."

He wordlessly nodded and looked at his mom for a few more minutes before he finally spoke again. "I…I don't know what to do."

Gracie stepped over to the side of the chair and knelt down, placing a hand on his knee. "Talk to her. Let her know you're here. Let her know…" She bit her quivering bottom lip and took a deep breath. "Let her know it's ok to go, Hap. She's ready."

Gracie stood up and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'll give you two some privacy."

But she didn't even take one step before Happy's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. "Don't leave me. Please."

She could only nod as she gazed into his beautiful dark eyes so filled with fear, his always strong, commanding voice now quiet and stricken with grief.

When he turned once again to Maria, Gracie stood by his side in silent support, occasionally placing an arm around his shoulders or holding his hand. But after a few minutes, she watched as Happy took a few long, deep breaths, leaned down towards his mom, and whispered something to her in Spanish.

He spoke to her for less than a minute, but Gracie was certain, based on the look on his face, that he said everything he needed to say. Hap was one of those rare, gifted people that never needed a lot of words to convey exactly what they were feeling. He squeezed his mother's hand one more time and was just about to straighten back up when Maria's eyes started to flutter.

Gracie and Hap watched in awe as Maria's brown eyes, almost as dark as Happy's, hazily opened and glanced out of focus at the ceiling, before they finally landed on her son. And for just a moment, they got a little clearer as her small, barely audible voice called out to him.

"Tu eres mí corazón y la luz de mi vida. No llores por mí. Sé felíz. Te amo, mi Ángel."

Then she gave him the smallest of smiles, a look of pure peace crossing her face, before she closed her eyes, took a few long, distressed breaths, and then, as though falling into a perfect sleep, passed away.

* * *

An hour later, Gracie was pulling her Mustang up to Maria's house in Bakersfield, followed closely by Happy's bike. They were both too exhausted and sleep deprived to even think about driving back to Charming, so they decided to spend the night at the house since the wake and burial would take place in Bakersfield early the next day. On the way, she had somehow mustered the strength to call his Aunt Rosa and tell her the news as well as Juice, who promised that he would tell Clay and everyone else, and that they would come back first thing the next morning for the funeral.

They didn't say anything as they walked into the house, both hit hard with how every corner of the room reminded them of the wonderful woman whom they'd just lost.

Hap shrugged his kutte off his shoulders and laid it over the arm of the couch. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Gracie nodded. "Do you want me to go to the store? I can make you some dinner or get you something to eat or…"

Hap just shook his head. "Later." Then he looked down at the wrinkled, disheveled clothes she'd been wearing since the night before. "Did you bring anything with you? Clothes or anything?"

She bit her lip and shrugged. "I left in a hurry. I didn't even think about packing a bag."

A small, grateful smile crossed his face for a moment before disappearing just as quickly. "I have some clothes in my old room. I'll leave them in the bathroom and you can shower after I do."

She returned his small smile with one of her own. "Sure. Thanks, Hap."

Gracie waited in the upstairs hallway while Hap took a three minute shower and then jumped in as soon as he was finished. When she stepped out a short while later, she towel dried her hair and put on the clothes that he had left for her; an old pair of gray sweats that she had to roll the waist on three times before they would stay on her hips and a black oversized Samtac t-shirt from Hap's days in Tacoma.

When she got back downstairs she found Happy sitting on the sofa in the living room, staring off into space and looking nothing short of heartbroken. She walked over to him and when he glanced up and took in her appearance, he almost smiled.

She looked down at her clothes and almost laughed herself; the t-shirt was so big that it hung off of one of her shoulders and so long that it almost touched her knees. She brushed a wet strand of hair off of her face and grinned. "I know. I look ridiculous."

She watched as something in his eyes warmed, replacing the sorrow for just a moment with another emotion she couldn't quite describe. "No you don't."

When she saw the grief and sadness overtake him once more, she went over to the couch and sat down beside him, reaching for his hand and holding it tightly.

They stayed like that for a long time, neither one speaking, just silently comforting each other with their simple presence. But after a while, Gracie squeezed his hand a little tighter and looked over at him. "Hap, what did she say to you? Just before she…I mean, nevermind. You don't have to tell me. It's none of my business. I'm sorry, I…"

Hap looked into her eyes and barely smiled before squeezing her hand in return. "She said 'Tu eres mí corazón y la luz de mi vida. No llores por mí. Sé felíz. Te amo, mi Ángel.' It means 'you're my heart and the light of my life. Don't cry for me. Be happy. I love you.'"

Even as fresh tears fell down her cheeks at the beautiful last words of her friend, Gracie couldn't help but smile. "You know, I knew Maria for over a year and that's the first time I ever heard her call you by your real name." Only once had his mom slipped up and told Gracie Hap's full name, Ángel Ricardo Lowman, but Maria had immediately sworn her to secrecy since she knew her son hated the name so much.

Hap just grinned and shook his head, fighting the tears welling up in his eyes as his voice finally started to break. "What was that woman thinking? Naming me of all people after an angel?"

Gracie just reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. "Maybe she saw something in you that you don't see in yourself."

And with those words he finally crumbled, sinking down into Gracie's arms and letting everything out. His tears soaked the skin on her shoulder as he held onto her tightly, his hands desperately grabbing the back of the t-shirt she was wearing, while her hands ran softly over his back, comforting him as she told him over and over again that she was there, that he wasn't alone, and that everything would be alright.

After a few minutes, she was able to move so that he was lying down on the sofa, his head cradled in her lap. And there they stayed for the rest of the afternoon, Gracie brushing her fingers over the side of his face and whispering quiet affirmations in his ear, until eventually his breathing calmed, his cries subsided, and exhaustion finally overtook him. Then they both drifted off into sleep.

_**Please review…**_


	50. Chapter 50

**Hi everyone! Sorry it took so long for me to post this update, but I hope you'll think it was worth the wait. Thank you so much for all the love on the last chapter, even though it made everybody cry :) And thank you, as always, for the reviews. I love them and I love you!**

**So here is the update everyone's been waiting on…Just fyi, this is where things will start veering away from canon. Events will change, timelines will be altered, and it's pretty much AU from here on out. Can't wait to hear what you think and I hope you like it!**

Chapter 50

Maria had already made all the arrangements. According to her wishes, she didn't want a wake. Just a small, private funeral mass was to be held the morning after her death at St. Joseph's Church, followed by a short graveside service. She didn't want a reception or gathering afterward of any kind, and Gracie knew in her heart that Maria had made the requests to make everything a little easier on Happy.

Gracie looked in the full length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door and frowned when she saw the dark circles around her eyes. The day before, she and Hap had been awakened from where they'd fallen asleep on the couch sometime around 5pm when his Aunt Rosa knocked on the front door. She brought over bags full of food along with a simple navy blue cap sleeved dress and a pair of shoes that she had thoughtfully bought for Gracie on her way over. The three of them sat around the kitchen table for hours, Gracie and Rosa sharing their favorite memories of Maria, while Hap just quietly listened. They ate until all the food was gone and finally, sometime around midnight, Rosa went home and Hap and Gracie went to bed; Gracie sleeping in Happy's old room while Hap somehow squeezed his tall frame onto the sofa.

Gracie smoothed down the material of the dress once more and then tied her still damp hair back into a low, messy bun before making her way to the kitchen where Hap was drinking a cup of coffee.

She couldn't help but grin when she saw that, even though he had on his usual jeans and boots, he had put on a nice, dark gray dress shirt. "You know, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen you wear anything but a Sons t-shirt."

When he heard her voice, Hap stood up from his chair and gave her a sad, small grin. "I thought Ma would like it."

Gracie swallowed the lump in her throat and walked over to where he was standing. She reached up and straightened the collar of his shirt before placing her hands on his chest. "She would. You look really handsome, Hap."

Then he surprised her by lifting his hands to where hers were resting on his shirt and holding them tightly, before looking into her eyes. "Gracie…what you did for Ma, what you've done for me…I don't know how to say thank you for that."

Gracie just squeezed his hands a little tighter and shook her head. "Please don't. You never have to say that to me. I loved Maria. I love you. That's all that matters, ok?"

Hap stared at her for a few moments longer before nodding. "Ok."

Then she grabbed his kutte that had been resting on the back of the kitchen chair and handed it to him before pulling him towards the front door. "Come on. It's time."

* * *

They silently walked into the church together but just before they entered the sanctuary, Happy stopped and shook his head, a rare look of panic crossing his face. "I don't think I can do this."

Gracie turned to him and held one of his hands before placing her other hand on his cheek. "Yes you can, Hap. You're one of the strongest people I've ever known, and besides, you're Maria Lowman's son. You have that woman's courage running through your veins. You can do anything." Then she rose up on the tips of her toes and kissed his cheek. "And I'll be right here the whole time. I won't leave you."

She held his gaze for about a minute as he composed himself, and she slowly watched the fear disappear from his face, replaced by the familiar, emotionless mask that he wore for the world most of the time. Then he took a deep breath and nodded before walking with Gracie down the altar of the church, never once letting go of her hand.

* * *

Just before the service started, Gracie grinned when she saw Kozik walk in. He was Hap's best friend and she knew how much it meant for him to be there. Koz gave Hap a quick hug and then kissed Gracie's forehead, before they all sat down when the priest began his mass.

Gracie was in the front pew between Hap and Rosa, with Kozik sitting behind them and a few other friends of Maria's scattered around the church. She glanced up at Hap's face, which remained perfectly calm, even though the hand that she still held in her lap was trembling. She listened to the priest's words of comfort and was just about to bow her head and pray when she heard the doors of the sanctuary open. And she couldn't help but sigh in relief when she looked back and saw Juice and Chibs walking towards her down the aisle.

She turned back to face the priest but smiled when she heard them behind her. Without turning around, she knew that it was Chibs' strong hand squeezing her shoulder, and of course knew that it was her husband's lips that fell against the top of her head. And when she heard them sit down, she finally closed her eyes and prayed, saying goodbye once more to Maria Lowman and thanking God for the family sitting around her.

* * *

As soon as they got outside, Juice pulled Gracie to him and wrapped her up tightly in his arms. "I missed you."

Gracie locked her hands behind his neck and let her body sink against him. "I missed you too, baby. You have no idea."

Juice placed a small, sweet kiss on her lips. "I'm so sorry about Maria. This must be so hard for you."

She nodded. "It is, but it's better now that you're here. I love you so much."

His leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. "Love you, Gracie Jane."

Just then, they both looked towards the doors when they saw Hap walking out of the church with Koz and Chibs. Juice went to Happy and gave him a hug before shaking his hand. "I'm sorry about your mom, Hap."

Happy just nodded. "Thanks, brother."

Gracie looked up at Chibs and Juice. "Where is everyone else?"

Juice tried to hide the disgust he was feeling. _They couldn't be here because they're transporting 30 kilos of cocaine back to Charming._

Chibs ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. "They couldn't get away, lass. Club shit."

Gracie looked at the two men she loved most in the world and knew, without question, that they were both holding something back from her. She waited a few moments for them to say more, but when they both remained silent, she sighed. "Is everyone ok?"

Chibs threw an arm around her shoulder and walked with her towards the parking lot. "Everyone's fine, love. Don't you worry."

Gracie nodded and then bit her lower lip. "Is, um, is Jax back in Charming?"

Chibs nodded. "Should be. Why?"

Gracie took a deep breath and forced a smile. "I just need to talk to him about something when I get home."

* * *

Gracie pulled up to the clubhouse just a few hours later. It was still only early afternoon and the sun was shining brightly despite the storm clouds raging in her mind. The entire drive back to Charming, she had tried to think of a million reasons not to tell Jax the truth, not to hurt Tara, not to destroy so many lives. But none of the reasons she came up with were better than telling the truth and keeping everyone she loved safe. None were even close.

She climbed out of the car and smiled when she saw Juice's bike parked in the row along with all the other Harleys. She and Hap had stayed in Bakersfield a little longer than the rest of the guys, so she wasn't surprised to see that Juice, Chibs, and Koz had beaten them home.

She walked into the clubhouse and grinned when she saw Tig cuddled up on one of the couches with Luke's enormous body lying across his lap. "Hey, Tiggy."

Tig looked up and winked at her. "Hey, Red."

"I thought Chucky was supposed to be watching my boy."

Tig looked down at Luke and started playing with his ears. "He was, but as soon as I got out of church, this monster just crawled up on my lap and wouldn't leave me alone."

Gracie just laughed when Luke looked up at Tig and started licking his face. "Yeah, I can see my 'monster' is really bothering you."

Just then Juice walked out of the chapel carrying his backpack, a worn, exhausted look on his face. "Hey, sweetheart. I thought you were going straight home."

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, kissing his neck before speaking. "I am. I just came over to get Luke. Are you coming back to the house? You look so tired, baby."

Juice stared into those big green eyes and got a little lost as a stream of thoughts invaded his brain. _I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could tell you that I am tired…so fucking tired. And I wish I could just go home with you and do nothing for the rest of the night except for fall into our bed and fuck you and love you and hold you and drown in you until we sleep. But I can't. I have to go to the warehouse and help unload the cartel's fucking drugs. Because we're in the drug business now. Fuck Gracie, please don't hate me. Please don't hate me…_

He was pulled back to reality when he felt warm hands against his cheeks and heard her worried voice calling to him. "Hey…Juice, baby? Are you alright?"

He blinked his eyes a couple of times before shaking his head and forcing a small smile. "It was just a really long ride. I'm beat. And I can't go home yet. We've got some shit to do first." He swung the backpack off his shoulder and handed it to her. "Listen, take this straight home and put it in the safe. I'll text you when I'm on my way to the house."

Gracie looked at the backpack and nodded. She was used to Juice getting his payout from the club in cash. "Yeah, ok." She placed the backpack on her shoulder and then leaned forward and kissed him. Then when she pulled back, she whispered so that no one else could hear her. "So, you know the shit that is going on between me and Tara? The shit that I haven't been able to talk about?"

Juice furrowed his brow but nodded. "Yeah."

She looked down at the ground nervously before meeting his gaze. "Well, I'm going to deal with it tonight and then I'll tell you all about it. Just…just know that I love you more than anything. And that everything I do is for you and our family. You know that right?"

He put a hand behind her neck and pulled her close. "Of course, Gracie." Then he kissed her before pulling back and searching her eyes, unsteadied by the fear he saw in their reflection. "Sweetheart, you're scaring me. Is everything alright?"

Gracie just shook her head. "Not yet…but it will be."

* * *

Gracie walked into their house, kicked off her shoes, and then went to the laundry room to give Luke his dinner. Then she walked to her bedroom and went to the closet where they kept the safe.

She knelt down, typed in the combination on the keypad, and opened the door. Then she finally opened up Juice's backpack, and when she saw what was inside, she gasped. "Holy shit…"

Gracie's hands were trembling as she pulled out the stacks and stacks of bills. Juice normally earned a couple thousand dollars a month from the club, maybe a little more, but he had never brought home anything close to this amount. _Oh my god, there has to be over $50,000 here. Jesus Christ, what have they gotten themselves into?_ She looked down at the cash that surrounded her, terrified by how the club could have earned so much, and she suddenly remembered what Tara had told her a few days before. _Piney said that they're into something really bad, something really dangerous…_ And with that thought in her mind, she finally knew that she couldn't waste another moment. She stacked the money into the safe and locked it before quickly changing out of her dress and throwing on a pair of skinny jeans, a black tank top, and her black converse. Then she took a deep breath, grabbed her keys, and walked outside; climbing into her Mustang and turning it towards Jax and Tara's house.

* * *

Gracie sat in the driveway and just stared at the front door for a few minutes before taking out her cell phone and dialing, closing her eyes and nervously sighing when she heard her best friend's voice.

"Gracie Jane? Is that you?"

Gracie swallowed and bit her lip. "Yeah, it's me. Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital. I just got out of surgery."

"Tara, you need to come home now."

"Why?"

Gracie took one more deep breath. "Knowles, it's time."

There was a long pause before Tara spoke again, her voice quiet and shaking. "Gracie, no…"

"I told you this was coming, Doc. I've given you time, but it can't wait anymore. Lives are at risk. I'm parked in your driveway, but I wanted to call you first because…shit, Tara. You should be here. This should all be coming from you."

"Gracie Jane, I just…fuck, I need just a few more days to think. I can't…I can't…"

"I know you don't see it yet, but this lie won't just destroy the club. When the truth comes out…and it _always _come out, it will destroy Jax, destroy you, and destroy the life you built for your family. I told you a long time ago that I would always love you, that I would always look out for you, that I would always protect you…even if I had to protect you from yourself."

"Please Gracie! You can't do this!"

"I love you, Knowles."

"Gracie, don't…"

"I'm sorry."

Gracie hung up the phone and wiped the tears from her eyes. She threw the phone down on the passenger's seat, ignoring it when it started ringing because she knew it was Tara. Then she ran a hand through her hair before climbing out of the car and walking to the door.

She knocked a couple times and only waited a few moments before Jax opened the door.

An easy smile crossed his face when he saw her. "Hey, darlin'. What are you doing here? Tara's at the hospital."

"Um, yeah, I know she is. Listen…are the boys here?"

He shook his head as confusion filled his eyes. "No. Gracie, what's wrong?"

She stepped inside and grabbed one of his hands, leading him to the living room. "Jax, we need to talk."

* * *

When they sat down together on the sofa, Gracie placed a hand on his knee and looked into his questioning blue eyes. "Before I start, I want you to tell me that you know Tara loves you, and that you know she only wants what's best for you and the boys."

Jax shook his head. "Gracie, what the…"

"Please, Jax. Just…just say the words."

He sighed before reluctantly nodding. "Tara loves me and she only wants what's best for our family."

She looked down at her lap and nodded, and then met his gaze once more. "The day you all went inside, Tara found some letters from Maureen Ashby…"

* * *

Gracie didn't know how long she'd been talking, but once she finally started, it was like she just couldn't stop. With every word out of her mouth, she felt the invisible weight that had been on her shoulders for the last week slowly start to lighten. She told him everything; John Teller's contact with Kellan Ashby and their plan to get the Sons out of the gun business, the fact that Clay and Gemma were having an affair long before J.T.'s death, and about his father's fear that those closest to him would ultimately betray him. Finally, she told him about John's suspicion that Clay and Gemma were plotting against him, and that he feared for his life because the two of them would stop at nothing to protect the gun business, not even his murder.

Jax never once interrupted her. He just stared at her as she spoke, his eyes gradually widening in shock and anger, his breaths steadily getting faster and more shallow. When she finally said all she needed to say, she just looked at him and waited for any kind of reaction, but she quickly braced herself when she saw the lost expression on his face morph into one of utter and complete rage.

She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't get a word out before Jax suddenly stood from the couch, grabbed the lamp from the end table, and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. Then her hands went to her mouth and she gasped when, blinded by anger, he destroyed his house; flipping over the coffee table, ripping pictures down from the wall, and finally hurling a nearby vase into the television.

"Jax…" Gracie jumped up from the couch and tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but the moment she came in contact with his body, he swung his arm back and sent her flying a few feet backwards into the wall.

The sound of her back slamming against the drywall and the pained groan that escaped her lungs seemed to bring him out of his trance, his eyes suddenly clearing and focusing on her in horror. "Fuck, Gracie. I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

She leaned forward, placing her hands on her knees, and tried to catch her breath. "It's ok, Jax. I know. It's ok." She looked back up at him and when she did, her heart just shattered. He looked so lost, so hurt, so…broken. She reached out to him again and this time he didn't pull away. "I'm so sorry."

His hands ran over his face in frustration before coming to rest on his hips. Then he looked up to the ceiling and sighed. "Where are the letters now?"

She shook her head and tried to control the tremors in her voice. "I don't know. I think Tara keeps them with her all the time now, so they're probably at the hospital."

He nodded and ran his fingers through his hair before looking at her. "Why didn't she tell me?"

Gracie wiped a single tear from her cheek and shook her head. "She was going to, but then when you got out of prison and proposed, you told her you wanted out of the club, out of the life. She saw a chance for you and the kids to be safe somewhere else, away from all this. As misguided as it may have been, she didn't say anything because she thought lying to you was the same as protecting you."

His face crumbled a little more as he looked down at the floor. "So why are you telling me?"

She walked up to him and placed her hands on his cheeks, guiding his face up to hers. "Your dad's manuscript."

When he looked at her with a confused frown, she tried to force a small smile. "As soon as Juice read it last year, he came home and told me all about it, about the hope that the club would go legitimate and about your vision. He believed in you…and so do I. I knew that if you read the letters and got Clay away from the gavel that you could save the club, save your brothers, fix everything that's gone wrong, and change the future. Tara didn't tell you because she knew once you found out, you'd never abandon the club and allow them to be led by a man like Clay. I guess the irony is that's the very same reason that I believed you had to know; that and just…it's your life, Jax, your family. You have a right to the truth."

She saw him swallow and nod before he leaned forward and gave her a hard, quick kiss on her forehead. "Thank you."

When he turned and started towards the front door, Gracie called out to him. "Jax, where are you going?"

He turned back to face her, all sadness and anger gone from his expression, replaced with control, determination, and maybe just a little regret. "I'm going to find the letters and read them for myself. Then I'm going to give them to my club and start fixing my mistakes…fixing everyone's mistakes."

When the front door slammed shut and she heard the roar of his engine speeding down the street, Gracie leaned against the nearest wall and sank down to the floor. Then she did what she'd wanted to do since the moment she saw Jax fall apart…she wrapped her arm around her legs, dropped her head to her knees, and cried.

* * *

After a long day at the warehouse securing all of the cartel's cocaine, Juice was more than ready to go home, take a shower, and do nothing but take his wife to bed. He had been on the verge of a panic attack all day, surrounded by the kilos of drugs and wondering where in the fuck his life went so wrong. He desperately needed to quiet his head, which meant he needed to be with Gracie so bad he could barely breathe. So when Clay finally told them they could leave for the night, he broke every speed limit on the way back home.

And that's why he couldn't help the string of curse words that came out of his mouth when, stopped at a red light, he looked at his phone and saw that he had a missed text message from his VP.

_Get to the clubhouse ASAP- Jax_

He somehow managed to resist the urge to throw his phone across the street, instead shoving it back into his pocket and turning his bike around, steering it in the opposite direction back towards TM.

* * *

When he walked into the clubhouse, Juice saw that most of his brothers were sitting around the bar having a drink. The only ones missing were Jax and Clay.

Juice went over to sit by Chibs and patted him on the back. "You know what this is about, man?"

Chibs downed a shot of Jameson and shook his head. "No clue, boyo."

Then Juice nodded his head to where Piney and Ope were sitting at the end of the bar. "What about you guys? Do you know why we're here?"

Just then the clubhouse door swung open and Jax walked in, a stack of papers held firmly under his arm. "We're here because shit is about to change…and we're gonna have a vote."

The guys followed Jax into the chapel and sat down in their usual chairs, but all of them looked on in confusion when Jax bypassed his usual seat and instead sat at the head of the table.

Tig instantly tensed. "What do you think you're doing? And where the hell is Clay?"

Jax glared at Tig for just a moment before facing the rest of the club and throwing the stack of papers onto the table. "Clay is who we have to vote on."

* * *

30 minutes later, everyone at the table sat stunned in shocked silence. Juice read and re-read the pages in front of him and still couldn't believe what he was seeing. Clay was his President, his brother, the closest thing that he had ever had to a father. And according to the papers in front of him, he had not only cheated with the old lady of another member, but had more than likely killed a brother, John fucking Teller, the founder of the entire fucking MC. And if that was true, Juice knew that it was more than a vote on Clay's patch…it was a vote on his life.

Jax looked at the table, at the brothers he loved more than his own life, and at the club that was his father's legacy. Then he stood, staring solemnly at the letters that lie spread out before him. "Let's have some discussion before we vote."

No one said anything for a few minutes, but everyone turned to Chibs when he groaned. "Fuck…" He looked at Jax and sighed. "Jackie-boy, we've all read the letters now. And yeah, if even a fraction of this shite is true, Clay should lose his patch and…Jesus, I can't believe I'm saying this…and he meet Mr. Mayhem. But the truth is, most of these letters are only John's suspicions. There's no proof that Clay actually killed him. I don't think we can move forward until we bring him in and give him a chance to tell his side. Then, and only then, can each of us decide if we think he's lying, if he really is the monster that these pages describe."

Everyone at the table, except Juice and Miles, had been around the club long enough to had know John Teller. And they all loved him, all respected him, and knew in their hearts that every horrible word they'd just read was true. But they also knew that Clay was their president, their friend, and a First Nine. They knew he had to be heard.

Jax slammed his hands down on the table and then looked up to the ceiling. "Fine. Someone call him and get him here. We're finishing this shit tonight."

* * *

Gracie allowed herself to break down under the weight of what she'd just done for only about 20 minutes before she slowly pried herself off of the floor and walked outside to her car. She reached over and grabbed her phone, immediately dialing Juice's number. _Come on, baby. Please pick up. Please pick up._

She sighed in frustration when the call went to voicemail, and then only hesitated a moment before disconnecting and trying to call Tara, but once again, her call went unanswered. _Shit…I need to find her. I need to make sure she's alright._

Less than ten minutes later, Gracie pulled into the parking lot in front of St. Thomas. She scanned the lot for Tara's SUV, and once she saw that it was still sitting in the physician's lot, she jumped out of the car and raced into the hospital. First she went to Tara's office, but found it empty. Then she went to the NICU and the ER, but couldn't find her anywhere. She called the OR to see if she was in surgery, but no one had seen her. After 30 minutes of scouring the entire building, Gracie ran her hands through her hair and cursed. _Fuck, Knowles! Where are you?_

She was just about to give up and leave out the main entrance, when she stopped and remembered the one place she hadn't yet looked. She walked through the kitchen cafeteria and storage facilities on the lower level and out the service door that Tara had used to sneak Gemma out of the hospital before Ireland.

"Jesus, Doc." Gracie couldn't stop her tears from falling when she took in Tara's defeated form, sitting on the concrete, her back resting against the brick wall of the hospital, her knees drawn up against her chest. Her eyes were reddened and swollen from crying, but her expression could only be described as vacant.

Gracie slowly went to where Tara was sitting and almost reached out for her, but unsure of how her best friend was feeling about her at the moment, she chose to just sit down beside her, a few inches away. "Knowles, I'm so…"

"Jax was here." Her voice sounded like it was a million miles away.

Gracie turned to look at her. "What happened?"

Tara stared out in the distance as she spoke. "He just walked into my office and told me to give him the letters. I had them locked in a file cabinet under my desk. When I handed them to him, I kept apologizing, kept trying to make him understand why I didn't tell him, kept telling him I love him…but he wouldn't even look at me."

"Tara…"

"I told him that we need to fix this, to move past it, but all he said was that he would deal with me later, that he couldn't handle me right now, that the only thing that mattered was making things right." Then she finally looked over at Gracie. "I lost him."

Gracie just shook her head. "No you didn't. He's just hurt right now, but he loves you more than anything. You're everything to him, Knowles."

Tara closed her eyes as more tears fell. "No, you didn't see his face. He was so cold, so fucking angry. And I honestly don't know what hurts worse, knowing that a part of him hates me now or…" She cried harder when she saw Gracie's heartbroken expression. "…or knowing that a part of me hates you now, Gracie Jane."

Gracie felt like a dagger had just been stabbed through her heart, and she raised her hand up to her chest, feeling an actual ache. "You're upset right now. You don't…you don't mean that."

Tara looked just as horrified as Gracie. "I actually think I do. You betrayed me, Gracie. I never thought you would ever be capable of that, but you betrayed my trust and I don't know how to move past that. If I lose my family over this, I'll never be able to forgive you. And knowing that's a possibility? It's killing me."

Gracie let Tara's words sink in and took a few shaky breaths before speaking. "I know you hate me right now, Knowles. But in time you will see what I did was because I love you, because I just want what's best for everyone. Jax will forgive you. You'll forgive me. And everything will eventually be alright. It will take time, but it will happen. We're family, Tara. We're sisters. You don't just walk away from that."

Suddenly when Gracie said that word 'family' a thought ran through her head. "Tara, where are Abel and Thomas right now?"

Tara looked up, her eyes immediately more focused at the mention of her sons. "They're with Gemma. Why?"

Gracie stood up quickly and grabbed Tara's hand, pulling her up from the ground. "We need to get over there. When I told Jax about everything, it was clear that the part that hurt him the worst was Gem. What if he went there to confront her?"

Tara's eyes widened. "You don't think he…Jesus, Gracie. She's his mom. He wouldn't hurt her."

"I don't think he would either, especially not with the boys there, but like you said, I've never seen him like this." Gracie took Tara's hand and started pulling her towards the parking lot, but when Tara stopped and wrenched her hand away, Gracie sighed. "Hate me later, Knowles. Right now we need to make sure that Jax doesn't do something he's going to regret for the rest of his life."

Only a few seconds passed before Tara nodded and the two of them raced to their cars and across Charming to Gemma's house.

* * *

A hushed silence fell over the table when Clay walked into the chapel.

He looked around the room with a hardened gaze, and his eyes turned lethal when he saw Jax standing at the head of the redwood table. "You want to tell me what the hell this is about, VP?"

Then Jax took the stack of papers he was holding and threw them down onto the table in front of his stepdad. "It's about these, and giving you a chance to explain yourself before we vote."

"What the fuck are you…" But Clay's words caught in his throat as he read the words on the pages in front of him.

No one said anything as a few minutes passed by, Clay silently reading over the letters until his hands finally balled up into white-knuckled fists and he slammed them down on the table. "Where the fuck did you get these?"

Jax just shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

Clay looked up and roared. "It sure as hell does matter!" Then he looked over to where Piney was seated in disgust. "It was you, wasn't it? You pathetic, miserable old drunk! You've wanted me out since the moment I took the gavel!"

Piney just snorted as he took a calm drag from his cigarette. "No Clay, I've wanted you out since you killed my daughter in law."

Everyone flinched at the memory of Donna's death, except for Clay, who was seething. "I'm not going to defend myself again. Donna's death was a tragedy, but it was Stahl. It wasn't my fault. I…"

But Piney stopped him before he could go on. "But, according to these letters, it _was_ your fault that J.T. died on that highway…"

As soon as the words left his lips, Clay snapped. "You son of a bitch…" He lunged at Piney, fists swinging, but before he could do any damage, Opie and Chibs had him pinned down in one of the chairs. "You take that back, you stupid fuck! How dare you! I loved John Teller! I loved…"

By this time, Jax had moved so that he was standing behind Piney's chair. "You loved my dad, Clay? Is that right? You loved him so much that you fucked his old lady while he was still alive?"

A humorless smirk crossed Jax's face when he saw Clay go pale. "Because, _Prez_, these letters can't prove what Piney said. They can't prove that you killed my father, only that he _suspected_ that someday you would. But the founder of this MC and its longest standing President wrote with his own hand that he _knew,_ without a doubt, that you were sleeping with Gemma." The smirk fell from Jax's face, replaced with all the pent up anger he'd felt ever since the day his father died. "Now, based on the information we have in front of us, I can't be certain that a mayhem vote will pass…but I can damn well guarantee that you're not walking out of this clubhouse with a patch."

Juice, along with everyone else sitting around the table, sat stunned at what was going on in front of them. _How is this happening? How can this shit be true? I always knew he was dangerous, but I love Clay. I've looked up to him, admired him, and respected him since the day I became a prospect. How the fuck is this actually happening?_

A terrible quiet fell over the group for a few moments before Clay slowly stood from the chair he'd been sitting in. He took his time staring at each of his brothers, making eye contact with all of them, before training his eyes back to Jax.

Everyone tensed as the rage on Clay's face intensified and an evil smile crossed his face. "You really think you're ready to lead this club, little Prince? Huh? Because let's be honest, that's what this is all about. You want me out so that you can have the gavel."

Jax just shook his head. "I want you out because you're a liar and you don't deserve to wear that kutte."

Clay glanced down at the men staring up at him and everyone saw at the same time the moment that Clay realized that the vote would pass. It was written all over their faces. He may leave with his life, but he was absolutely going to be voted out.

Clay looked back at Jax and for a brief moment, he laughed. "You actually think I'm gonna let a little shit like you wear this President patch?" Then he looked down at where Happy was sitting. "You think I'm gonna let you black out my ink?" He looked around the room and the smiled fell from his face. "John and Piney may have founded the club, but I made it what it is today. I own this club. I fucking _am_ this club. And I won't let him take it from me." Then he looked down at the floor for just the briefest of moments before snapping his head back up and looking at Jax. "Say hi to your dad for me."

And then without a moment of hesitation, Clay reached inside of his kutte and pulled out his Glock, aiming it straight at Jax's chest.

"No!" It happened so fast. Piney had started to move the moment that Clay's hand found the gun, and by the time Clay actually pulled the trigger, Piney had yelled out, jumped up from his chair, and shielded Jax, taking a .45 caliber bullet straight to the heart.

Chibs and Tig were the closet ones to Clay and immediately pinned him down, taking the gun from his hands and shoving him hard, face first, down to the ground. But everyone else just sat stunned and shattered as Piermont "Piney" Winston, cofounder of the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, heroic Vietnam veteran, father, grandfather, and First Nine member, sank to the floor of the chapel as blood bloomed over his chest, and died.

Juice tried like hell, but he just couldn't process the scene in front of him. Jax was holding Piney's head in his lap, crying angry tears over the man that had been an Uncle to him his entire life. And Opie…fuck. Ope's angry, devastated sobs broke every heart in the room.

Time stood still for a few minutes until Jax started to slowly come out of his grief induced haze. He carefully placed Piney's head down onto the floor, and then, covered in blood, stood and looked around the room.

He wiped the tears from his face before meeting the gaze of each and every one of his brothers in the room. "Do we really need a vote?"

Every man in the room was crying as they all silently shook their heads. Chibs was the first one to move, grabbing Clay hard by the back of the head and pushing him to the other side of the room, towards the other end of the reaper table. And then Tig, unable to look his best friend in the face, simply reached out his hand. "Give me the kutte."

Clay didn't say a word, just silently took off his kutte and handed it to Tig before looking once more at Jax. Everyone could see that he was about to speak, but before he could say anything Ope finally stood up from the floor and pulled his gun.

Opie's hand, like his voice, was steady and unwavering as he trained the gun on Clay. He swallowed the last of his tears, looked over to his life-long best friend, and nodded. "It's your call, Prez. Are you gonna do this?"

Jax looked up into Opie's eyes for a few minutes before wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and squeezing. "He killed your dad."

Opie hung his head down, letting a few more stray tears fall, before he looked back up to Jax and nodded. "He killed your dad, too."

Understanding immediately what had to be done, Jax only nodded once before he pulled his own gun out of his holster and pointed it at Clay. Then, without another moment passing, Jax and Opie both opened fire, each emptying their clips into the man in front of them.

And when the last rounds had been fired and silence had once again fallen over the chapel, no one moved. They all just stood there, frozen, as they watched Clay Morrow bleed out all over the floor and die at the head of the redwood table.

**Please please please review!**


	51. Chapter 51

**Hi everybody! I was really excited to start writing the rest of the story, so I'm actually posting again! I know, shocking, right? :) Thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter. It was definitely interesting to hear what you all thought of it. Most of you really liked it, but some of you were super pissed at Gracie for telling Jax the truth. I responded to most of you personally, but to any guests that reviewed, I just want to say that, regardless of if you loved how the last chapter went down or if you hated it, Gracie and Tara both did what they did out of love. They both just wanted to protect the people they care about, even if they thought they had to do it in really different ways. And it obviously devastated Gracie to hurt Tara like that, just as it hurt Tara when Gracie revealed her secret. Just know that even though some of you saw it as intrusive or just naïve, Gracie will **_**always**_** believe that it's right to tell the truth. It's just who she is.**

**Anyway, I really did love all the feedback. I think it's so cool that so many of you are truly invested in this story and its characters. **

**So this chapter picks up right where the last one left off and will deal with the immediate aftermath of Piney and Clay's deaths. PS, sorry my chapters have been so depressing lately. I realized as I wrote this update that my characters spend an awful lot of time crying. Blame Kurt Sutter! It's not my fault :)**

**As always, I hope you enjoy it and please review… **

Chapter 51

Tara pulled into Gemma's driveway first, followed closely by Gracie. The two got out of their cars and went to the door, but before they could even knock, it swung open with Gemma on the other side.

Gem grinned. "Hey. What are you two doing here? I thought you weren't picking the boys up until later tonight."

Tara and Gracie walked into the house and tried not to look as nervous as they felt. Tara forced a small smile. "I, uh…I just left work early and wanted to see the kids. Where are they?"

Gemma just nodded her head towards the other room. "In there." The three of them walked into the dining room and saw Wayne Unser sitting at the table next to Abel. Paper, crayons, and art supplies were scattered in front of them and Thomas was babbling happily in Unser's lap.

Gracie had to fight back tears as she looked across the room at Gemma. The woman had undoubtedly done horrible things and kept terrible secrets, but she was a wonderful grandmother and had never been anything but amazing to Gracie. And her life as she knew it was about to be destroyed.

She swallowed the lump in her throat as she smiled uncomfortably at the man holding her nephew. "Hi, Chief Unser. It's nice to see you again."

He just gave her a friendly smile and shook his head. "I've told you for the last two years, Grace. You can call me Wayne. And I haven't been the chief for a long time."

Gracie nodded. "Right, Wayne. Sorry."

Tara walked over to Abel and kissed the top of his head before looking up at Gemma. "Um, has Jax been here?"

Gem shook her head. "No, I haven't seen him, but I'm guessing he's at the clubhouse."

Tara raised her eyebrows. "Why?"

"Because Clay got a call from Tig about 15 minutes ago telling him to head over there."

Tara and Gracie exchanged a knowing glance, and it wasn't missed by Gemma.

She arched her brow and placed her hands on her hips. "Do you two want to tell me what the hell's going on?"

Tara took Thomas out of Unser's arms and then went to Abel, taking his hand and gently pulling him out of his chair. "I'm taking them home. They shouldn't be anywhere near this."

Gracie could only nod as she watched her best friend wordlessly gather the boys' belongings and throw Thomas's baby bag over her shoulder before she walked with them back through the kitchen and out the door.

As soon as it slammed shut, Gemma turned to look at Gracie. "What the fuck…"

Gracie just shook her head. "You'll find out when we get there. We need to go to the clubhouse."

Gemma just frowned before picking up her purse and heading for the door. Then Gracie turned to Unser, speaking just loud enough for him to hear. "You should come too, Wayne."

He tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

Gracie sighed. "Because Gemma's going to need you."

* * *

Gracie followed closely behind Gemma's Cadillac the whole way back through town and was only seconds behind her when they pulled into the lot. Gemma and Wayne climbed out of the black coupe at the same time Gracie jumped out of her Mustang. The three of them walked quickly towards the door, but after a few steps they all stopped dead in their tracks when they heard what sounded like a million gunshots being fired from the inside the clubhouse.

Gracie's hands went to cover her mouth as she gasped, bile instantly rising in her throat. "Oh my God…" Before she was even aware of it, her feet were running towards the door. She didn't know what was happening or who was shooting or if she was in danger, but she knew that Juice was somewhere inside, and that was all that mattered.

She wrenched open the door and raced inside, trailed closely by Wayne and Gemma. The main room was empty so she went to the chapel and pulled open the big black double doors, and as soon as she did, she almost passed out.

Chibs was standing beside the door and saw her sway, catching her in his arms just before she fell over. And somewhere deep in her mind, she knew that her friend was holding her, knew that he was whispering to her in her ear…but she didn't hear him. All she heard was Gemma's screams and all she saw was Clay's body lying dead in a pool of blood.

She blinked a few times and took a couple deep breaths, calming herself just long enough to look around the room and see Juice alive and well, and then as she turned her head to the other end of the room, she saw Jax and Opie standing beside each other; both with tears staining their cheeks, both with guns in their hands, and both of them covered in blood.

She made eye contact with Jax and somehow found her voice. "Are you hurt?"

Jax closed his eyes and shook his head. "It's not…it's not mine."

She saw his eyes involuntarily glance down at the floor behind him and when her eyes followed the same path, she felt her knees give out underneath her as her tears came out in choking sobs. "P-p-p-iney? No…no…"

She closed her eyes as grief racked her entire body and prayed that this was all just some bad dream, that she would suddenly wake up and everything would be alright; Tara wouldn't hate her, Juice would be honest with her, Happy would still have his mom, and her friend Piney would still be alive instead of lying dead on the floor of the chapel.

She was lost and drowning for a few seconds until she felt strong, familiar arms take her from Chibs and hold her close. Then she heard her favorite voice in the world whispering against her temple. "It's ok, Gracie Jane. I've got you, sweetheart. I'm here."

She finally felt herself calming down as she looked up into Juice's eyes, but then turned around when she heard a hysterical Gemma cry out. "What the fuck did you do, Jackson?"

Gracie looked up as Jax walked over, picked the letters off the table, and then threw them at his mother, his voice eerily quiet. "We've been reading some old stories, Mom."

Gemma started reading the now bloodied pages and when she looked back up to the people staring at her, all the color had drained from her face. "Jackson, baby, listen…"

At the sound of his mother's voice, Jax dropped his calm façade and lost it. "No, Gemma! I'm done with your lies! You cheated on J.T. with Clay, and you helped that son of a bitch kill my father!"

Gemma was trembling as she struggled to find her voice. "Jackson, you don't…you weren't….John was in love with Maureen and Thomas had just died and…"

Jax rounded on his mom and glared at her, standing only inches away from her face. "Don't. Don't you dare blame my dead brother for what you did."

A few tense moments passed with the two of them just looking at each other, and then Jax finally took a step back. When he spoke again, his voice was once again under control, but cold as ice. "From this moment on, you're dead to me. After tonight, you'll never see me again, you'll never see my boys again, and you'll get the fuck out of this town."

Unser, who had been standing frozen behind Gemma the entire time, took a tentative step forward. "Son, please, just think about…"

Jax shifted his gaze to Wayne and shook his head. "Don't call me 'son'. I read the doctored police report from the accident scene. I know you helped them cover up what happened to my dad. And I know Clay and my mom probably manipulated you into doing it, but as far as I'm concerned, you're just as guilty as she is." Then Jax looked briefly at Gemma before staring back at Unser. "Are you still in love with her, Chief?"

Wayne's eyes widened in surprise. Everyone knew that he'd been in love with Gemma his entire life, but apparently he didn't realize it was so obvious. He waited a few moments before nodding. "Yeah, Jax. I am."

Jax nodded. "Then this is what you're going to do. You're each going to get in your cars, each escorted by a patch. You're going to go to her house and help her pack up some shit, and then the two of you are going to get the fuck out of Charming. I'm sure Clay has plenty of cash at the house, so you should have all the money you'll need for a while. I don't care where you're going, in fact, I'd rather not know. Just whatever you do, stay gone. If I see either of you again, I won't give you a second chance to leave."

Then he turned and looked at his now crumbling mother. "When you get wherever it is you're going, you're gonna get a lawyer and have them call Lowen, and then you're going to sign over the deed to TM to the club. Do you understand?"

Despite what she'd done, there wasn't one person in the room unaffected by Gemma's wrecked, devastated expression as she simply looked down to the floor and nodded her head. It was so hard for them to accept that the woman they all loved and thought of as a second mother could have betrayed them so deeply.

A few tears escaped down Jax's cheeks as he stared at his mother one more time and then angrily wiped them away. He turned and looked back at his club. "Miles, Kozik. You two go with them and make sure they leave town."

The two men walked over and waited for Unser to wrap his arm around Gemma, who was now obviously in shock, before they all walked out of the chapel. Everyone else remained silent until they heard the clubhouse door close. Chibs was the first one to move, going to Jax and wrapping him up tightly in a hug, and then doing the same to Opie. "I'm so sorry, boys."

All of the brothers embraced one another except for Juice, who never let go of his still shaking wife. After a few minutes, Jax looked up to Ope and nodded. "What do you want to do?"

Opie glanced down at his father. "Let's take him to the cabin. That's where he'd want to be."

Jax nodded and hugged his brother but turned back after a few moments when Tig cleared his throat and spoke up. "What about Clay?"

A look of disgust crossed Jax's face before he walked over to where Clay still lay on the floor. Then he shook his head and spit on him before looking back up at Tig. "Take him to Skeeter and burn him. Then just throw him away."

* * *

Juice didn't say anything, just laced his hand through Gracie's fingers and walked her back to his dorm. When they got there, he sat her down on the bed and kissed her. "Stay in here until I come get you, ok?"

Gracie looked up at his dazed, distraught face and knew how much he was hurting. She pulled on his hand until he sat down beside her and then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Juice buried his face in her hair and tried to slow his racing heart. _Piney's dead. Clay's dead. Gemma may as well be. In the last hour I've lost my brother, the man I thought of as my father, and the woman I loved like a mother_. He wrapped his arms around Gracie's waist and crushed her body to his, praying that a little of her warmth and light would somehow drift inside of him and offer some relief, some reprieve from his grief and confusion. But for the first time since he'd known her, not even Gracie's presence could bring him out of his darkness.

He pulled back slightly and took in her tear stained face, using his thumbs to wipe away the moisture from her cheeks. "Jax told us that it was you who told him about the letters."

She bit her lip and looked down at her lap. "I wanted to tell you so bad, Juice. Every day for the last week, I would look at you and it killed me to keep that kind of a secret from you."

He tucked a lock of auburn hair behind her ear. "Then why did you?"

She looked up into his beautiful brown eyes and was relieved to see that, even though they were filled with sadness, there was no anger, just questions. "Tara was so scared that when Jax found out, it would rip her family apart. I had to give her time to prepare, to figure out what she wanted to say and what she wanted to do. I wanted it to come from her, but…but when I got home from Maria's funeral and you gave me all that money…"

A brief look of shame crossed over Juice's face before he blinked it away, nodding for her to go on. "When I saw all that money, I knew that whatever shit you guys are into right now was more dangerous than anything you'd done before. I knew that people would die because of it, and I knew I had to do something." Her tears fell faster as she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I know I'm just an old lady and I shouldn't try to get involved in club business. I know it's not my place, Juice. But…" She could barely speak between sobs. "But I love you so much, and Jax, Chibs, Hap…all of them. I couldn't just sit by and do nothing. I couldn't just watch you all die or go back to prison, led by a monster like Clay, when I truly believed that once Jax learned the truth and took over the club, that he could save its future and save all of you. I couldn't wait anymore. I'm sorry…I'm so fucking sorry…"

Juice held her close until her breath started to even out. "Did Tara know that you were going to tell him?"

Gracie wiped her eyes and nodded. "I called her before I went into her house. I thought maybe I could convince her to come over and tell him with me. But I could tell from the sound of her voice that she just couldn't do it. She wasn't ready, and honestly, I doubt she ever would have been. She was never going to tell him, Juice. And I just couldn't let her destroy her life because she was too afraid to tell the truth, I couldn't let Jax live a lie, I couldn't let you and the rest of the club suffer. I love everyone too much for that…" Then she took his face in her hands and kissed him. "…and I love you more than anyone."

Juice was just about to speak, but his thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door and Chibs' voice drifting in from the other side. "Time to go, Juicey."

"I'll be out in a minute." Juice kissed Gracie's forehead before standing up from the bed. "We have to…we have to take care of everything now. Just stay in here for a few minutes, and then you can follow us up to the cabin."

"I don't understand. It was Clay who started shooting. Why can't you call the police and give Piney a funeral?"

Juice just shook his head. "Lowen could probably prove self defense if she had too, but we're all convicted felons. Jax and Ope aren't even supposed to be carrying weapons, let alone ones that are illegal and unregistered. It has to happen like this." He kissed her once more before walking to the door. "Lay down and try to rest. I'll be back soon."

* * *

It was decided that, once the bodies were wrapped up in some tarps from the garage, Tig, Hap, and Juice would take Clay's body to Skeeter while Jax, Ope, Bobby, and Chibs took Piney up to the cabin. Then once the guys were all together again, they would say goodbye and bury him later that night.

When they were all ready to leave, Juice went back to his room and got Gracie, taking her hand and leading her back through the clubhouse towards the lot. He squeezed her hand a little tighter but never slowed his stride when he saw her look towards the chapel as they walked past and pale when she saw the two prospects, Phil and Ratboy, cleaning up all the blood.

Once they got outside, he walked her over to her car. "Are you going to be alright to drive?"

She tried her best to hide the tremors in her voice. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

He wrapped a hand behind the back of her neck and just stared at her for a few minutes before nodding. "Jax, Ope, and Chibs are going to be riding up front. Bobby's driving the van with…with Piney. Just follow them and stay close, and wait there for me. We shouldn't be long."

Gracie searched her mind for something, anything, to say to him. She could see the cracks in his armor and the anxiety coiling behind his eyes, but she was too devastated herself to think of any words that would bring him comfort. So instead she just hugged him one more time and kissed him right below his ear. "I love you, Juan Carlos. Be careful."

He pulled back just enough to take her face in her hands and kiss her lips. "Love you, Gracie Jane." Then he turned away from her and climbed into the other TM van, driving off the lot tailed closely by Tig and Happy.

* * *

As soon as they pulled up outside of the cabin, Gracie got out of her car and went to Chibs, who took her hand and led her inside. He sat her down in one of the chairs in the living room, and then knelt down in front of her, placing a gentle hand on her knee. "Stay in here, love. We're going to get him ready and start digging a grave. Then, once everyone gets here, we'll say goodbye."

Gracie softly nodded, but just as Chibs was about to stand back up, she placed her hand on top of his and met his eyes.

A fresh wave of grief flooded his senses when he saw his Grace on the verge of a breakdown, struggling to find her words. He lifted a hand to her head and ran it gently over her hair. "What is it, sweet girl?"

She bowed her head and watched as her tears fell like rain drops onto the top of her chest. "It's my fault…it's my fault Piney's gone."

Chibs' eyes narrowed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What? Why would you say such a thing?"

She tried to meet his gaze, but felt too ashamed to look him in the eyes. "If I never told Jax, if I just stayed quiet, none of this would have happened. Piney would still be here…Opie wouldn't have lost his dad…Ellie and Kenny wouldn't have lost their grandpa…"

As he watched her crumble, Chibs just shook his head, pulling her back up to stand and holding her close. His voice was quiet and soothing. "Don't you ever say that again, Grace. Do you hear me? Don't you even think it. Jax had to know the truth. We all did." Then he kissed her forehead and waited for her to open her eyes and look at him before he spoke once more. "No one is to blame for what happened tonight but Clay. Is that clear, lass?"

She sank against him, comforted by his warm voice and strong, friendly arms holding her tightly. Then after a while, she leaned back and nodded.

Chibs sat her back down gently in the chair. "Just sit tight, darling girl. Juice and everyone else will be here soon, and then we can lay the old man to rest and start healing."

* * *

Gracie sat alone in the cabin, kneading her hands in her lap and trying to wrap her brain around the events of the last few hours. She looked at her phone and knew that she should call Tara, but she had no idea what to say to her. _Which doesn't really matter because I'm sure she's not talking to me. _But then she realized that Tara had no idea what happened after they left Gemma's house and must be worried sick, so she decided to send her a text.

_Jax is alright, but it's going to be a late night. I love you and the boys. Please try to understand and forgive me.- G_

Gracie stared at the phone for several minutes after pressing send, and wasn't at all surprised when she received no response. So she just shoved the phone back in her pocket, curled up in a ball on the chair, and tried to will her exhausted body to sleep.

* * *

Gracie must have dozed off, because she was awakened about an hour later when Koz and Miles got to the cabin, with Juice, Hap, and Tig arriving just a few minutes after. Juice went to her and grabbed her hand and, without saying a word, they all walked outside together to where Piney was laying on top of the picnic table. They each took their turns going to him and saying their goodbyes, whispering a few words in his ear or just patting his hands, before stepping back and letting someone else spend some time with him. When Jax walked up, unable to hold back his tears, he held one of Piney's hands for a moment and then spoke so quietly that Gracie barely heard him. "You were right, old man, about everything. I'm sorry I waited so long. I'm sorry I failed you. And I'll never forget the way you sacrificed yourself for me and for this club."

Jax went to stand by Bobby and Chibs, and then everyone held their breath when Opie slowly walked over to stand by his father. But unlike Jax, he didn't say anything. He just looked at him with more love and more heartache than Gracie thought possible. Then after several minutes, Ope wiped the tears from his cheeks and reached into his kutte, pulling out an old picture of him, Donna, and the kids. It was taken before he went to prison, before they knew that they would be torn apart, before they knew how ugly the world could really be. He had carried it with him since the day of his wife's death, and now his father could carry it with him forever.

Ope took the photo and stuck it into the inside pocket of Piney's old, worn denim kutte. Then he leaned forward and kissed his dad on the forehead before whispering. "I love you, Pop."

Gracie couldn't stop the tears that fell, and would have been frozen in place had it not been for Juice's arm around her waist, pulling her towards him and walking her back towards the cabin.

* * *

About an hour later they were all walking outside and heading back to Charming. Gracie said bye to most of the guys and then looked around until she found Jax.

She walked up to him and gave him a small, sad smile. "I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now."

He forced a grin and shook his head. "I'll be alright, darlin'."

He went to move past her but Gracie reached out and grabbed his hand. "Where are you going, Jax?"

He looked at her and sighed. "Back to the clubhouse."

She shook her head as she took a step closer to him. "You need to go home. You need to be with your family."

He blinked away the moisture building up once again in his eyes and shook his head, looking down at the ground. "I just need some time, Gracie. It's all too much right now."

A few moments passed before Gracie nodded and then closed the distance between them and gave him a hug. "I love you."

He just kissed the top of her head and held her a little tighter. "I love you, too."

Then she slowly stepped back and turned away from him, looking around until she found Juice. She kissed her husband and told him to be careful before watching as he climbed onto his bike. Then she got into her car and followed his taillight back to their house, praying the entire way that somehow God would help them repair the shattered pieces of their family and make them whole again.

**Please review…**


	52. Chapter 52

**I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've outlined the rest of Juice and Gracie's story, and after this update there are only about two or three left until it's all finished. I'm not certain, but I think chapter 54 will be the last chapter. Not gonna lie, I'm kind of heartbroken. But the remaining updates will all be long and have a ton of action, drama, and resolution, so I hope you'll all be happy in the end.**

**Oh, and just so you know, the website is doing that weird thing again where I still get your reviews in my email and my review count keeps going up, but for some reason they aren't showing up on the review page. This happens a lot and they always show up eventually, but I can still see them now, so PLEASE still review!**

**Ok, let's do this. Here we go…**

Chapter 52

When they got home from the cabin that night, Juice and Gracie barely said a word to each other. Too shell-shocked and grief stricken from everything that had happened, the two of them just walked into their bedroom, stripped off their clothes, and fell into bed.

But at some point in the middle of the night, Gracie felt Juice behind her, his hardened length pressed against her ass while one of his hands curled around her hip and traveled down to the folds between her thighs.

She wasn't even completely awake as she started to grind against him and moan. "Juice?...Oh, oh god baby…what are you doing?"

He buried his face in the hair falling over her shoulder and whispered against her ear. "I need you, sweetheart. Please."

She turned her head to look at him and as soon as she did, he caught her up in a desperate kiss, sucking and biting her lips and then tasting ever inch of her with his tongue. Her passion and need matched his own, and a few minutes later, she whimpered into his mouth as his now drenched fingers worked her faster and faster.

Gracie broke the kiss, panting and breathless, as she felt her orgasm coiling in her belly. "Oh fuck…Juan Carlos, baby…I'm coming! I'm coming!"

When her entire body started to quake, he plunged two fingers inside, curling upwards and gently stroking her pussy until she screamed out in pleasure.

Then as soon as she started to come down from her high, Juice withdrew his hand and sucked on his fingers, before pulling her top leg over his hip and, still positioned on his side behind her, sank his cock into her dripping heat with one, smooth thrust.

Gracie sighed when she started moving against his slow, gentle, unhurried movements, so different from the almost frantic way he'd just brought her to climax. She kissed the arm that was acting as her pillow while he kissed her everywhere he could reach; her neck, her shoulder, and her back were all worshipped by his soft, beautiful lips.

After several perfect minutes, he brought his leg slightly forward between hers for more leverage and gripped her leg a little tighter, allowing him to thrust a little harder, a little faster, until both of them were teetering on the brink.

And when Juice moved his hand from her leg to her breast and started rolling and pulling her nipple between his fingers, she gasped. "Oh my god! Baby, I can't…I can't hold back. Please, come with me! Juice, please!"

As soon as he felt her walls start to tighten and spasm around him, Juice closed his eyes and groaned out her name as he spilled himself deep inside her. "Gracie! Gracie! Oh fuck, sweetheart…oh god…"

Completely exhausted, Gracie was already drifting away again before Juice even pulled out. And wrapped tightly in his arms, cradled against his body, she fell asleep to him whispering a litany of devotion in her ear.

_You're my peace…You're my life…You're everything I have…I love you, Gracie Jane…_

* * *

When Juice pulled into the clubhouse and climbed off his bike, the first thing he did was look down at his hands and the uncontrollable tremors that he'd had since the night before. He clenched and unclenched his fists a few times in a poor attempt to quell the shaking, but he realized that just like his mind, his hands were now out of his control.

He knew he was already past the point of no return, and he had no fucking idea what to do about it. He'd been hanging by a thread since the day after he got out of prison, with each new day bringing a bigger and bigger pile of shit. He knew the warning signs; he wasn't eating, he was drinking a little more than he should, he was smoking way more weed than usual, and he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in over a week. His anxiety disorder had threatened to consume him every second of every day, but he kept rationalizing that it would get better. _Maybe the cartel shit will work out, maybe Roosevelt will forget I ever existed, maybe I can actually get through all this without having to show my wife how fucking crazy and needy I am._ He knew he had been distant from Gracie since the cartel vote, but he was so fucking terrified of looking into those big, gorgeous green eyes of hers and being incapable of lying to her anymore, terrified that his OCD rattled brain would reveal all his secrets and that he would finally lose her for good. He just kept hoping that he could get a hold over himself, that he could manage, that he could save himself. And then last night happened…

From the moment he read the letters, he felt himself falling. But when that first shot was fired and he saw Piney go down…that was when he passed the point of no return. He watched one brother die, then another, and then sat as Gemma was forever banned from their lives. That's when he finally broke and was lost to the mercy of his disease. That's when the shadows finally won.

Unable to think, to sleep, or barely to breathe, he had woken Gracie in the night to make love. And at least for the time they were together, he had some peace. He could quiet his mind and focus on the feel and sound and smell of the most important thing in his life, and heal himself a little with every moment he was inside her. But it couldn't go on forever. As soon as they were finished and Gracie fell back to sleep, his demons reappeared.

But now he had to do his best to push them down and hide them from the world. So he took a deep, shuttering breath and braced himself when he walked through the clubhouse doors and to the chapel. He had to go to church.

* * *

Jax walked into the chapel and looked at the men staring back at him from around the redwood table. And as he silently acknowledged each and every one of them and made his way to the head of the table, he had the overwhelming feeling that he was right where he was always meant to be.

No one said anything as Jax laid Clay's kutte on the reaper table, pulled out his K-bar, and then carefully removed the President patch. When it was off, he held it in his hand for a long time, just looking at it, aware of the weight and responsibility that would now rest on his shoulders. He clenched it in his fist and nodded to himself before handing Clay's kutte to Tig and placing the patch carefully on the table in front of him. Then he removed his own kutte and repeated the same process, this time removing his Vice President patch.

He held it in his hand, running his thumb over it for just a moment, before looking up to Opie and grinning. "Get over here, VP."

Opie grinned and nodded as the table erupted in applause. He walked over to where Jax was standing, took the patch from his hand, and embraced him tightly. Jax whispered against his ear. "We've talked about this our whole life, and we're going to make everything right. It's our time now. We can do this."

Opie hugged him tighter and patted his back a few times before pulling away. "I know we will, brother." Then Opie sat down to Jax's left in the vice president's seat.

The grin fell from Jax face as he looked at Tig and shook his head. "I'm sorry, man. There's just too much history here. I know you love me, I know you love this club, but you were Clay's right hand and I can't have you sitting where you're sitting."

A sad, resigned look crossed Tig's face before he nodded. "I understand, brother." Then he stood and removed his kutte, quickly removing his Sergeant at Arms patch with his pocket knife and handing it to Jax.

The smile returned to Jax's face as he looked up at the Scotsman. "Chibs, there's no one I trust more."

The table once again cheered as Chibs bowed his head for a moment and then stood up, patting Tig's shoulders as he passed his chair before going to Jax.

Chibs took the patch from Jax and then hugged him tightly. "It's an honor, and I'll protect you with my life."

Jax pulled back and nodded. "I know you will."

Chibs wrapped a hand around the back of Jax's neck and nodded. "I love you, Jackie."

Jax's grinned widened. "I love you too, brother."

When Tig sat in Chibs' now vacated chair and then Chibs sat down to the right of their new President, Jax finally sat and took his place at the head of the table. "First, I want to take a moment and remember the man we lost last night. Along with my father, Piney founded this MC and made it what it is today. He lived and breathed this club, loved every one of us, and he went out protecting me. It's a debt I can never repay, but I swear I'll honor his sacrifice every day that I hold this gavel. To Piney…"

Everyone slapped their hands on the table a few times and then Jax looked at Opie for a moment and nodded before looking back at the table. "Ope and I were up all night talking about the future of the club, and working on how to right all the wrong that was done under Clay. I showed Ope a manuscript that was written by my father. Juice has already read it, but I'll make sure you all get a copy. John Teller wasn't a perfect man, but in his heart he knew what was best for this club and this brotherhood, and with the help of every man around this table, I think we can accomplish the goals that he dreamed about, but never got a chance to realize."

Jax looked down at his hands, which were folded in front of him on the table, for a long moment before looking up at his club. "Today we are going to vote on getting out of the drug business, out from under the cartel, and eventually, completely out of guns and all other illegal activity."

Jax saw the stunned, disbelieving looks on all his brothers' faces and sighed. "First things first…I need to apologize to each and every one of you. When Clay first brought the cartel to the table, I supported him because I was planning on taking my family and getting out of the club."

Jax felt a wave of guilt run through his body as the faces in front of him went from stunned to angry to hurt. "I have no excuse except that I was worried about my boys and knew that I couldn't live under Clay's thumb for another minute. I also knew I had to make a lot of cash before I left, and the cartel seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to earn big before I cashed out."

Chibs ran a hand through his messy hair as he looked at Jax and shook his head. "Christ, Jackie…"

Jax clenched his teeth and nodded. "I helped Clay push the vote through, backed him at every turn with Galindo, and for that, I'm sorry. I helped put our lives and our freedom at risk because I put my own needs above the needs of the club. And I swear on my life and the lives of my sons, I will never do that again."

"After what happened yesterday, I've realized that the only way we can stop all the violence and death that has plagued this club since we got in bed with the Irish all those years ago is to get out of guns and find legal ways to earn. I know it will take time and I know, initially, we'll take a hit financially. But in order for all of us to stay out of prison, for all of us to stay alive, it's the path we have to take."

Jax looked at Ope, who nodded encouragingly, before he went on. "Before we open it up to the table for discussion, you should know that I was on the phone all night making arrangements in case the vote passes. I talked to Romeo and Alvarez for hours and we reached a tentative deal. We already have the first shipment of coke at the warehouse, so the Sons will continue to guard it until the end of the week, at which time Romeo is coming up to oversee its distribution by the Mayans. But Romeo only agreed to let us out of our deal with them if the flow of weapons and drugs to Northern Cali remains uninterrupted. He doesn't care about the source, only the result. The only way to do that is to give control of the guns to the Mayans. If we can get the Irish to agree, we'll back away from guns completely, Alvarez will take over, and the Mayans will continue selling to and muling for the cartel, which makes Mexico very happy." He looked around and almost grinned at the wide eyed faces of his brothers. "Ok, let's hear your thoughts."

Chibs sighed. "Jackie, the Kings aren't just going to agree to something like this. Those Irish pricks hate any color that isn't white. They're not gonna trust the Mexicans."

Jax shook his head. "The Irish may like white, but the only color they really care about is green. The Kings aren't going to let their precious cause suffer because the gun flow stops in Northern Cali. If we're out, then Alvarez is their only alternative to keep the money flowing."

Bobby sat forward and leaned his elbows against the table. "What about the blowback from black?"

Jax nodded. "The Niners are going to be pissed, no doubt. We can try to explain to them that the cartel would only deal with the Mayans, but I don't think it'll matter. They're going to be out for blood. No way around that. But if we secure the deal between Romeo and Alvarez, the Mayans will shield us. It will be known on the street that the Sons are protected by the Mayans, and in turn, protected by Galindo. No one is going to be stupid enough to touch us and start a war."

A few moments passed before Koz shrugged his shoulders. "Am I the only one wondering how the fuck we're supposed to make any money?"

Jax looked up at him and smirked. "It's a fair question. In the short term, the money we make from TM can get us by, not to mention we all just got a big fucking payout from the cartel shipment." Then he looked over to Ope and the two of them shared a smile. "But long term, I think the future source of our green will be pink…"

Tig furrowed his brow. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Opie laughed and shook his head. "Pussy, man. The future of the club is in pussy."

Jax looked out at the table and rolled his eyes when he saw the faces in front of him instantly brighten. "I know we stepped away from porn when Caracara burned down and Luann was killed, but before that it was a great source of income, even when we were only partial owners. This time around, using money the club made from Galindo, we can start our own studio, 100% owned by the Sons. And it will be completely legal."

Chibs smiled before speaking. "Listen, I know we all hung around Caracara all the time and watched the movies being made, but other than having an eye for casting, what the hell do any of us know about actually running a porn studio?"

Jax grinned. "We got it covered, Chibby. Bobby did the books for Luann, so he can handle the accounts and budgets. Juice already set up Caracara's web business from the ground up, so he can do it again for us, but we want the whole company and production to be run and managed on a daily basis by Lyla."

Everyone looked over to Ope, who just shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "She gets to stay in the business she loves, but it puts her behind the camera instead of in front of it. We asked her last night, and she's all about it."

Jax patted Ope on the back and then looked back at the table. "But TM and porn are only the beginning. We can still take protection run jobs when they come up, and in time, as it comes, we can always bring new business to the table."

Hap spoke up and looked at Jax. "But even if Samcro goes legit, it doesn't really protect us from jail time. We aren't truly legal until the entire MC is legal."

Jax nodded. "I know. Samcro is just the beginning. If the vote to get out of guns and drugs passes, and the mother charter shows everyone else that we can still earn big and stay alive doing it, then we can slowly try and convince the other charters to all make the transition. Once things get settled here, I'll call a meeting with the presidents from Indian Hills, Red River, Tacoma, and Tucson to discuss their futures."

Jax looked around the table, but when no one else spoke up, he slowly nodded his head. "Ok, let's vote."

* * *

When Juice walked out of the clubhouse a couple of hours later, he actually had a real, honest to god, smile on his face. _I can't believe it. We're actually out. The guns, the drugs, the killing, the prison time. It's all fucking over._ He still couldn't believe it, but this time the vote was unanimous in favor of pulling away from the cartel and the Irish, and ultimately taking the Sons legitimate.

He climbed on his bike and took a deep breath, and he could actually feel parts of his body that had been tied in knots since before he went to prison slowly start to relax. The darkness was still there, hanging like a cloud above his head ready to rain down at any moment, but peaking through that looming storm were streaks of sunlight that he recognized immediately…hope. _I actually have hope, real hope that things can finally get better. Hope that I won't die or go back to jail, hope that I can stop hurting people, and most importantly, hope that I can be the husband that Gracie deserves. _Suddenly he remembered an image of Gracie that he always hated recalling. It was the night of Half-Sack's funeral and the drive-by shooting that killed David Hale. Gracie was a wreck, lying in their bed and barely hanging on, and she looked up at him and asked a question that has haunted him everyday since. _Can't you find a way to have the brotherhood and the freedom without all the violence and death?_ Juice had all but given up on finding that path, but today, with Jax in the President's chair, all of that changed. _We're going to do it, sweetheart. We're going to stop muling drugs, stop selling guns, stop hurting people. And I'm going to be a good husband. I'm going to give you a family. I'm going to give us everything we ever wanted._

With the excitement of at least the potential for happiness in his heart, Juice pulled out of the lot and headed for St. Thomas, anxious to share everything that had just happened with Grace. But he felt his pulse start to race and his palms start to sweat when, just two blocks short of the hospital, he saw flashing blue lights in his rearview mirror. He pulled off to the side of the street, bowed his head, and cursed when he saw that the sheriff who pulled him over was Eli Roosevelt.

And just like that, the light was shut out by the storm, as the rain came barreling down.

* * *

Gracie hadn't even realized she'd slammed the door to the break room until some of her coworkers looked up at her and frowned. She felt her cheeks redden under their stares before muttering a short, "sorry," and then quickly grabbed a cup of black coffee before heading for the nurse's station.

Today had been torture from the moment she heard her alarm clock. First, she opened her eyes and realized that Juice had left for the clubhouse without waking her, which she knew was more about him avoiding her than it was about him being considerate. Then, as soon as she sat up and her feet hit the floor, she was hit with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, which she contributed to barely eating anything the day before and the horrible memories she kept reliving. She somehow managed to drag herself to the shower and get ready for work, but as soon as she got to St. Thomas, her day had gone from bad to worse.

Gracie wasn't even half way through her work day and she could easily say, without question, that it was the worst shift she'd ever had. Children were screaming at her, patients were yelling at her, she'd already been covered in various bodily fluids that didn't belong to her, and reprimanded by a doctor when, for the first time since nursing school, she forgot an order. But the worst part of the day happened about an hour ago. She'd been in the trauma bay when a 19 year old college student was brought in by the medics after he ran a stop sign and hit a semi. The driver of the semi wasn't harmed, but the young man sustained significant injuries, and after coding him for nearly 40 minutes, he was finally pronounced dead.

Gracie had pulled off her gloves and thrown them in the nearest trash can, fighting back tears the entire time. She'd worked in emergency rooms for almost ten years and was more than used to seeing patients die, but something about losing that kid today combined with the tragic events of the previous night almost sent her spiraling.

In the past, before Juice went to prison, whenever she was having a really bad day at work she would take her fifteen minute break, sit outside for a few minutes, and call him. They would talk about anything and everything, tell each other stupid jokes, or make plans for what they would be doing that night. So she walked outside and sat on one of the benches in front of the hospital and called his phone, but it went straight to voicemail. Then she sent him a text and stared down at the phone for a few minutes, hoping for any sort of reply, but ten minutes later her screen was still blank.

_Fuck, where are you baby?_ She was just about to try his number again when her pager went off. She looked down at it and saw that she had a new patient waiting for her in exam room 3. _Shit._ Gracie stared at the sky and took a few deep breaths getting from the bench and heading back inside.

Two minutes later, she walked into exam room 3 and flung open the door, but stopped mid-stride when she caught sight of the patient waiting in the hospital bed.

The patient looked up at her abrupt entrance and sighed. Her voice was high pitched, almost lilting, with the slightest bit of a southern accent. "Now sugar, you look like you're having an even worse day than me, and that's saying something."

Gracie couldn't help but grin. You're sometimes lucky enough to meet those rare people that shine a sort of light wherever they go. They're warm, instantly friendly, and always sincere. And Gracie could immediately tell that the woman in front of her was one of those people. She looked down at the chart on the table. "Hi, um…" She scanned the paperwork before she found a name. "…Miss Van Dam, I'm Grace. I'll be your nurse today."

The patient just shook her head. "Please, dear. Call me Venus. All my friends do."

Gracie smiled and nodded. "Ok Venus, tell me about what happened to you." Gracie had to ask the question, but it was obvious by the bruises on her face, arms, and neck, that Venus had been assaulted.

Venus tried to smile, but winced. "Oh, one of the gentleman at work wasn't really a gentleman. You see Grace, I'm a very open minded person, but even I have my limits. The man wanted to cross a line and I told him no." Then she gestured to her black eye. "This is the result."

Gracie's face grew serious. "Did he force himself on you?"

Venus shook her head. "No, security heard the ruckus and took him away before he could do that."

Gracie raised an eyebrow. "Security?"

"Yes. My place of employment takes very good care of its girls."

Gracie looked down at the insurance form on the chart and nodded. "You have here that your place of employment is a company called Diosa?"

"Yes. It's a massage parlor and escort service."

Gracie grinned when she heard the playfulness in her voice. "And what do you do at Diosa, Venus."

Venus winked at her. "Sugar, I make dreams come true."

* * *

For the next two hours, Venus was a very pleasant distraction from the rest of Gracie's otherwise shitty day. Every free moment she had, Gracie found herself checking on Venus, not because she was worried about her, but because the self proclaimed fulfiller of dreams made her smile. But after a few x-rays, bloodwork, and a cognitive evaluation, her favorite patient was ready to be discharged.

Gracie walked into the room with the paperwork and smiled warmly. "Ok Venus. You're almost ready to go home. You don't have any broken bones, but you do have a lot of swelling and bruising that will probably get worse before it gets better. You'll need lots of ice and lots of rest."

Venus nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

Gracie looked down at the papers and continued. "It looks like you do have a mild concussion, which means that we aren't allowed to let you leave unless you have someone who can give you a ride and who can commit to supervising you for the next two days to ensure your symptoms don't worsen. Do you have someone who can take care of you?"

"Absolutely."

"And who is that?"

"My employer, Nero Padilla."

* * *

Less than 30 minutes later, Gracie was at Venus' beside taking out her IV when a tall, older man with a graying five o'clock shadow and a cardigan sweater walked into the room and went straight to Venus. He sat on the other side of the bed and held her hand. "Hey, beautiful."

Venus smiled at the man and placed a hand on his cheek. "Now don't you frown at me like that. I'll be just fine. This lovely creature has taken excellent care of me and has assured me that in a few days I'll be right as rain."

The man turned towards Gracie and offered out his hand. "Nero. Thanks for looking out for my girl. Venus is family."

She shook his outstretched hand and nodded. "Nice to meet you. I'm Grace. And to be quite honest, I'm going to be sad to see her go. Venus has been the highlight of my day."

Nero stood. "Ok, so do I need to sign something or can we just…"

Gracie handed him the discharge papers. "Actually, before you two take off, I just need to make sure that Venus can stay with you for a little while. She has a concussion and needs 24 hour supervision for the next two days."

Nero nodded. "Of course she can."

"Will you need an excuse for your work so that you can be home with her?"

He shook his head. "No, I own the company. The bossman can do whatever he wants."

Gracie grinned and, too curious not to ask, looked up at him and bit her lip. "So, Venus told me that she works as a…um, escort at Diosa, and that you take very good care of her."

Nero smiled. "Well, that's my job."

Gracie could see the twinkle in his eye and smirked. "And what exactly does your job entail?"

Nero laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a companionator, Grace. I'm all about the love."

* * *

Jax was just walking into the main entrance at St. Thomas when he saw Gracie come out, pushing a patient in a wheelchair accompanied by a tall Latino man. He went up to her and kissed her cheek. "Hey, Gracie."

She gave him a small smile. "Hi, Jax. What are you doing here?"

He nodded his head towards the hospital. "Came to visit the boys. I haven't seen them since yesterday morning, and I miss them."

A gasp came from the patient, as she placed a hand to her chest and fluttered her eyelashes. "Oh my, gorgeous and a loving father? The mother of your children is a very, very lucky woman."

Jax's eyes widened as he looked at Gracie and tried to hold back his laughter. Gracie just smiled and shrugged before he looked back at the patient. "Uh…thanks."

She stuck out her hand and waited for Jax to take it in his own. "Venus van Dam. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Jax's smile widened. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jax."

Venus grinned. "Tell me Jax, are you and this beautiful girl here an item?"

Gracie scrunched up her face and shook her head. "Ick, no."

Jax smiled and shook his head, playfully punching her in the arm. "Gee, thanks Gracie."

She grinned and then looked down at Venus. "He's basically my brother. I'm married to his friend and he has a family with my…" She looked up at Jax and her smile got a little sadder. "…with my best friend."

Venus saw Jax look up to the man standing behind her and she reached back to pat his arm. "How rude of me. Jax, this is my employer and dear friend, Nero Padilla."

Jax furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side. "Nero Padilla? Why do I know that name?"

Nero grinned. "I own a business in Stockton called Diosa International. Maybe you've been there?"

Jax smirked. "I haven't, but I think some of my friends have. Diosa has quite a reputation." Then a look of recognition flashed across Jax's face. "Actually I think I've heard of you because you run the Byz Lats."

Nero stood a little taller as the smile fell from his face. "And how do you know that, Mano?"

Jax shrugged his shoulders. "We've got some of the same friends. I'm Jax Teller, President of the Sons of Anarchy. And actually, I think we should talk about some business opportunities."

Gracie looked back and forth between the two before taking a few steps forward. "If you two are going to talk shop, I'm going to wheel Venus down to the end of the parking lot and help her into the car."

Jax waited until Gracie was several feet away before turning back to Nero. "So, as I was saying…"

But Nero cut him off and shook his head. "I'm not really interested in your business, Jax. Everyone knows the Sons run guns, and I'm not looking to buy."

Jax just shook his head and smiled. "Actually, it's me who's interested in your business."

Nero crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Jax skeptically. "And what business is that?"

Jax smiled. "Pussy."

* * *

When Juice finally left the Sheriff's station later that day, he walked around to the back of the building where his bike was parked and was about to climb onto his Harley when he was hit with a wave of panic that almost knocked him over. Leaning up against the nearest wall, he closed his eyes and tried to sort through all the shit that Roosevelt had just thrown at him. _He finally laid it all out for me. Some powerful fucking people, probably feds, want to put away the Irish and the cartel, and need to use the Sons to do it. He wants me to get a sample of the coke to prove that it was supplied by Galindo, and then he wants me to give him the location on the next shipment of Irish guns. If I cooperate, they'll prosecute the Irish Army and the cartel, and guarantee that Samcro only gets short time. If I don't, not only will they tell the club my father's black, but they'll also make it their mission to put away every member of Samcro, as well as dismember every charter in the entire MC. _Juice tried to explain to Roosevelt, without giving too much away, that any alleged involvement with the cartel was a one-time thing, and that the Sons had every intention of cutting ties with the Irish. But of course, the sheriff hadn't believed a word. Roosevelt said that Juice's choice was simple. _I can either rat on the club and save it, or keep my mouth shut and kill it._

Juice turned around so that his back was resting against the brick wall, and wasn't even aware that his knees had given out until he suddenly hit the ground. He sat with his head hung down between his knees, his hands laced together tightly behind his neck, and his heart racing so fast he thought it would beat out of his chest. A small voice in his head told him to go to Gracie and tell her everything, and then to go to Jax and let him know the truth. But an even louder voice was screaming the same fucking thing that it had been telling him his entire life. _I'm not fucking good enough. Why would Jax change 30 year old bylaws for a worthless, fuck up like me? And why would a woman like Gracie stay with me when I lose my patch and force her to leave everyone and everything she loves?_

Juice found himself staring at his bike, and he realized with an ache in his heart that once he climbed onto it and rode to the street, he wouldn't know which direction to turn. He couldn't go to the clubhouse and look into the eyes of his brothers, knowing that he was even considering betraying them. And he sure as hell couldn't go back to his house and be with Gracie. She always knew when he was lying, and he couldn't risk revealing the truth and dragging her into his shit. So he just sat against that building until the afternoon sun started to fade into dusk, with one simple question running over and over again in his head…

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

* * *

Gracie woke up alone in her bed the next morning, looking over to the unwrinkled pillow next to her, and frowned when she realized Juice had never come home. The only contact she'd had with him at all the previous night was a short one line text sometime around midnight.

_Working late. Probably won't be home. I love you. –J_

She ran her hand over the cool sheets on his side of the bed as questions plagued her mind. _Where are you, baby? What are you hiding from me? And why won't you let me help you?_

But her questions would have to wait until later. She was working the next four days in a row, and was in desperate need of a shower before she had to leave for the hospital. She crawled out of bed but before she was even standing, just like the day before, she was hit with an intense, overwhelming nausea.

She placed a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes, taking a few breaths before running to the bathroom and puking up what little dinner she had last night. _Thanks, universe. Like I don't have enough shit to deal with, now I have the flu._

* * *

As soon as Gracie threw up, she started to feel better. And since she didn't have a fever or any other symptoms, she blamed her sickness on stress or something she ate, and assumed it would be safe for her to go to work. So after brushing her teeth and taking a scalding hot shower, she threw on the first scrubs she saw hanging in her closet and headed to St. Thomas.

The next few days of Gracie's life were like a broken record, the same shitty things happening every day just like they did the one he did finally return her phone calls, Juice would only tell her that he was working for the club late at night all week, which conveniently meant that he would only come home to sleep once she was already at work, guaranteeing that he could keep avoiding her. And every morning, for the last six in a row, she'd woken up queasy and dry heaving in her bathroom.

Gracie was on the last day of her five day stretch at work, staring with disgust at the turkey sandwich and fruit salad on the table in front of her. She was sitting in the cafeteria on her lunch break, but no matter how hungry she felt, she just couldn't force any of it down. _I don't get it. I haven't eaten anything all day. Why the hell does this look so gross? _Then someone walked by with a hamburger and fries and she almost gagged. _Ugh. And why does everything smell so bad?_

She pushed the tray to the other side of the table and then walked outside and took out her cell phone. Her first call was to Juice, but when it went unanswered again, she tried calling Jax.

"Hey, Gracie. What's up, darlin'?"

"Hey, Jax. Hope I'm not bothering you. I was just wondering…um, listen, I haven't really seen Juice at all this week and he's not really talking to me about whatever's going on right now. I just…is he ok? Is he safe?"

There was a long pause over the line and then she heard him sigh. "Has Juice talked to you about anything since…you know, since that night at the cabin?"

"No, and I've barely seen him."

"He probably wants to wait until this one issue we have with the club is resolved before he talks to you. I'll let him explain when it's time, but it's all good, Gracie. We've had to watch over some…cargo this week and Juice volunteered to take the overnight shifts. That's where he's been. Tonight is the last night we have to guard it and then tomorrow, we're officially moving the club in a new direction; one that my dad would have been proud of. Don't worry. We've all been fucking stressed for obvious reasons, but after tonight, everything will be different. I promise. And I'll be sure to tell Juice to get his ass home tomorrow morning as soon as he can."

Gracie grinned and found herself nodding. "Thanks for letting me know. I've been so worried about him, about all of you, since…since that night." Then she bit her lip and sighed. "Jax, how's Tara?"

"She still hasn't talked to you?"

"Not a word. And she mostly sticks to her office and the NICU, so I haven't even run into her at the hospital."

Jax sighed. "I started sleeping at home again a few nights ago. I'm not mad at her, Gracie. I'm really not. I understand why she did what she did. How could I blame her for wanting to protect our boys? But we've got some shit to work out. We love each other so much it's crazy, but there's no trust right now. I don't trust her to tell me the truth, and she doesn't trust me to always make the right choices. We need to fix what's wrong with us, whatever it is that makes us think we can't be honest with each other. But we're going to fix it, ok?"

Gracie smiled. "Ok."

They said their goodbyes and Gracie started walking back to the emergency room, finally feeling like things were getting brighter. Jax and Tara were slowly coming back together, which hopefully meant that soon she and Knowles would start repairing their own relationship. And Juice…Gracie just prayed that Jax was right. That whatever was going on with Juice would be finished tomorrow, and with a new day they would start a whole new life together.

* * *

Gracie was just finishing up charting on her last patient and packing up her things for the day. It was nearly 8pm and all she wanted to do was go home, drink some tea, take a long bath, and go to bed, desperately looking forward to this crazy week being over.

She threw on her jacket and started walking down the hallway, but as soon as she took a few steps she got really lightheaded, the ground spinning around her feet for a minute, before she started to sway and everything momentarily went dark.

She would have hit the floor were it not for strong arms wrapping around her waist and holding her steady. "Grace, are you alright?"

Her vision started to come back into focus and she realized that the man holding her up was Dr. Danielson, everyone's favorite ER resident. She put a hand out to the wall as she straightened and she felt him slowly let go of her. "Yeah, um, wow, that was really weird. I'm ok now. Thanks."

He looked her over with concern. "Have you passed out like this before?"

She just shook her head. "No, never. But I've been feeling a little off all week."

"What do you mean by 'off'?"

Gracie shrugged her shoulders. "Kind of nauseated, no appetite, really tired, that kind of thing. But I've been under a lot of stress lately, and not really sleeping. I'm probably just run down. I'm sure I'll be fine once I eat a decent meal and rest. Um, thanks again…"

She started walking away, but Dr. Danielson placed a gentle hand on her arm to stop her. He shook his head and grinned. "Grace, this is just my humble medical opinion, but you don't sound simply 'run down' to me. Is there any chance…" He looked around the hallway to make sure no one could hear before leaning forward towards her ear. "Grace, is there any chance that you could you be pregnant?"

* * *

Gracie walked in a daze to her car and drove to the nearest pharmacy, buying two different tests before heading back to her house. She let Luke outside and fed him dinner before slowly walking to the bathroom. Then she forced herself to take a quick shower and change into a tank top and yoga pants before finally taking the tests out of the bag.

Her hands were shaking as she tentatively opened both boxes, two tests in each box, so that four small sticks lay in front of her on the bathroom counter.

She stared at them for a few moments before doing what she needed to do and then placing them all back on the counter by the sink. Then she put the toilet lid down and sat facing the wall in front of her, using every ounce of willpower she had to look straight ahead and not let herself peak before it was time.

Then finally, after she was certain that three minutes had passed, she closed her eyes, bit her lip, and turned her head to the sink.

And when Gracie opened her eyes and saw the results, she wasn't sure which came first; her tears or her smile.

"Oh my god…we're having a baby."

_**Please review…**_


	53. Chapter 53

**Here it is…the chapter that changes Juice's future. This chapter is one of the reasons I decided to write this entire story in the first place. I'm so nervous to hear about what you all think, and I truly hope you like it. Please review and let me know!**

**Only one more chapter after this one before it's all over! I've already started writing my next fic and I'll tell you all more about it in the author's note of Chapter 54.**

**Trigger Warning: I don't want to spoil the chapter for anyone, so all I will say is that some scenes in this chapter are very similar to what went down on the show (anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations).**

**OK, let's do this…**

Chapter 53

A rush of happiness that Gracie never even knew was possible flooded every cell in her body as she thought about the life growing inside of her. _I can't believe this. I can't believe this is real. There's a little part of Juan Carlos alive in me right now. We're going to have a baby. We're going to have a family._ A huge, awestruck smile spread across her face as she wondered how in the world this had happened. She had been on the pill since before she ever met Juice, but when he went to prison, she was admittedly bad about remembering to take it. _I mean, it wasn't like I was having sex with anyone, and I was so stressed out and miserable. It was a miracle I remembered to eat every day, let alone take my birth control._ Looking back on it now, she was almost certain she'd accidentally skipped a few pills the week before he was released, just because she had been too excited and nervous to focus on much of anything.

Rubbing her still flat stomach, she realized that her period was only two or three days late, and that her pregnancy must be in the earliest of stages. Then she smiled thinking back to the day Juice got out of Stockton and the crazy, intense reunion sex they'd had for hours without end. _Yep, that must have been the day._

Gracie buried her face in her hands and, still sitting in the little bathroom, cried out all of her happy tears. Then she jumped up, ran to the kitchen, and grabbed her phone, dialing Juice's number. She couldn't wait another minute until the love of her life and the center of her whole world knew that he was going to be a father.

* * *

"Hey, man. Are you ok?"

Juice looked up when he heard Miles voice and nodded. "Yeah. I'm good."

"Are you sure? I mean, you look kinda pale and…"

"I said I was fucking good! What part of that don't you understand?"

Miles immediately backed away, putting his hands defensively in the air. "Sorry. I get it. You're good. I'm, uh, gonna walk around the perimeter again."

"Shit!" Juice cursed quietly to himself at the way he'd just blown up at his brother and how he just couldn't get a fucking hold on his feelings. _I'm losing it…no, fuck. I'm already lost. Tonight is my last chance. I've stood out here every night for a week, trying to decide to either come clean to the club or steal the fucking coke for Roosevelt. And tonight is the last night. In the morning, the cartel and the Mayans will come and take the drugs, and I'll be fucked. The feds and the cops will come after the club, Roosevelt will tell Jax about my dad and I'll lose my patch, Gracie will find out that I'm a liar, and I'll lose fucking everything. I'll lose everything. I'll lose everything. I'll lose everything._

He beat his hands against his head in a vain attempt to quiet the voices in his head. His mind had been mercilessly racing without reprieve, and he'd probably slept a total of six hours in the last five days. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and had forced himself to stay as far away from Gracie as possible. He just couldn't let her see him like this. He'd never been this far gone in his entire life, and he felt like he was dying; all the lies and the secrets and the fears killing him slowly from the inside out.

Suddenly he was hit with one singular emotion so hard that he could barely stand; absolute, overwhelming, all consuming loneliness. He'd always felt lonely, ever since he was born to two parents who never gave a shit about him, surrounded by people that could never accept or understand him. It got a little better once he joined the MC, but he still knew that he was on his own. All his brothers cared for him, but they had their own families and better friends that they would always love more.

The loneliness never really went away until he met Gracie. Gracie, the sweet, beautiful miracle that literally stumbled into his life. Gracie, the only person in the world that loved him more than she loved anyone else. Gracie, the only reason he was still breathing.

_Fuck, I can't. I can't lose her. I can't lose her. I can't be alone. I can't…I can't…I can't…_He felt himself start to hyperventilate as he watched Miles walk back around the side of the building and stand in front of the doors. And just for a moment, Juice thought about how easy it would be…

_What if I stole the drugs? Would that really be so bad? Yeah, I'd be a worthless, pathetic rat, but Roosevelt would never tell the club that I'm black, I wouldn't lose my patch, Gracie would stay with me…maybe it would all be ok. _Then his tired, frantic eyes focused again on Miles. _It would be so simple. We're the only one's here. All I would have to do is kill him…_Juice took his gun out of his holster and ran the cool metal of the barrel against his aching head. _Just one shot to the head. He wouldn't know it was coming. He wouldn't even feel it. Then I could take the coke, and hit myself with the butt of my gun. It would look like a robbery, like we were ambushed, like Miles was killed by an outsider, like I was attacked from behind and wasn't able to stop it…_

Then as fast as the thought ran through his mind, a wave of nausea and self hatred overtook him. _Oh my fucking god. Am I really that crazy? How could I even think that? How could I even think about killing one of my brothers to save my own selfish life? Everyone was right. My whole life, everyone was right. I'm nothing. I'm less than nothing. I'm a liar and a coward and a fucking murderer. I don't deserve to be in the club, I don't deserve to wear this kutte, and I sure as fuck don't deserve to live a life with Gracie._

Before he even knew what was happening, his hands were resting on his knees and he was bent over, vomiting all over the ground. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he thought he heard Miles running up to him and ask if he was alright. But in that moment, as darkness consumed him, all he saw was a life without Gracie and how he knew, with unwavering certainty, that he wouldn't survive it.

When he felt Miles pat him on the back, Juice quickly stood up, wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his black hoodie, and started walking quickly towards his bike.

"Yo, Juice! Where the hell are you going, man?"

He ignored Miles and just climbed onto his Harley, revving his engine and flying as fast as he could down the road away from the warehouse. He finally knew what he had to do to make everything right.

* * *

All Juice felt was emptiness as he rode past the Charming city limits and out to the countryside. For the first time in weeks, the endless stream of thoughts had finally stopped. The voices were gone. The anxiety had calmed. At last able to breathe, he actually felt a little relieved.

When he pulled off to the side of the road, in the same spot where he'd been countless times before, he climbed off of his bike and took off his helmet, hanging it from one of his handlebars. Then he reached into one of his side compartments and pulled out a long metal chain that he'd always kept there in case of an emergency.

With the chain held loosely in his hands, he went to the nearby field and started walking, his steps following the same beaten down path of overgrown grass that they'd trekked down every time he'd come there. It was pitch black outside, and there was only moonlight to his way. But he really didn't need it. Juice had been there so many times, he could have walked it blindfolded.

After a few minutes, he was there; the little pond in the woods that had been his only solace in the years before he met Gracie, and the place where her had taken her on their first date. They had talked there, laughed there, made love there, and it was his favorite place in the world. It was right where he needed to be.

Juice stood there in the darkness and looked out over the water. It was completely still and calm, with only an occasional ripple moving softly over its surface when the redwood leaves would fall. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, focusing on the smell and the sound and the feel of the gentle night breeze that surrounded him. Then after a few moments, he turned towards the woods and walked to the nearest tree.

He took off his kutte, letting his fingers run over the leather for a few moments, before folding it carefully and placing it on the ground. Then he reached into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out his phone. The screen showed that he had four missed calls, and he didn't need to look to know that all of them were from his wife. He placed the phone down on his kutte and then, without a second of hesitation, placed the metal chain around his neck so that he could start climbing up the branches.

When he reached one of the limbs that was far enough up from the ground, he stared at the chain for a moment before securing it tightly around his neck. Then he looped the other end around the base of the tree limb and moved a few inches out so he could sit.

He expected to feel hopeless or sad or scared. But for the first time in as long as he could remember, Juan Carlos Ortiz felt completely at peace. He was doing what was right, doing something selfless, confident in his belief that everyone he loved would be better off without him.

Just before he went to move, he closed his eyes and thought of Gracie. The blush in her cheeks the morning they met, the way her hair shimmered in the sun the first time he took her on his bike, the sound of her voice the first time she said that she loved him, the feel of her body underneath of his the first time they made love. The day she moved into his apartment, the day she'd given him her dad's compass, the moment she agreed to marry him, and the look in her eyes when she said her vows.

But his very last thought was a simple prayer. _God, forgive me for what I'm about to do. And please let Gracie be happy._

And then he opened his eyes, took one more breath, and jumped.

* * *

The second that he felt himself fall, Juice knew he wanted to live. The chain tightened around his neck just as his thoughts regained some clarity, and the reality of what was happening seized him with panic. He didn't know what would happen to him once the club found out the truth, and he didn't know if Gracie would leave him. The only thing he knew for certain was that he didn't want to die.

Juice tried to wedge his fingers between the chain and his neck in a desperate attempt to get some air, but the tension was simply too strong. He flailed his legs madly, terrified that it was simply too late to undo what he did; but then, just when he was starting to black out from the lack of oxygen, he heard the limb he was hanging on start to break.

With a loud snap, Juice fell hard to the ground, the chain immediately loosening. He gasped in a few huge breaths and peeled the metal from his neck, flinging it as far away from him as possible. Then after a few minutes, when he regained the strength in his legs, he crawled up from the ground, picked up his phone and his kutte, and started walking unsteadily back to his bike.

* * *

Gracie had been pacing the floor of her living room for the last two hours. She'd called Juice several times and left countless texts, but he had yet to respond to her. Honestly, she didn't expect him to call her back. He'd gone out of his way all week to barely speak a word to her. But he almost always texted her back, at least something short just to let her know he was ok. So as she stared helplessly at her still silent phone, she knew in her heart that something was wrong.

She was about to call Jax to see if he knew where Juice was when she heard the unmistakable sound of her husband's Dyna pulling into the driveway.

Gracie closed her eyes and sighed. _Oh, thank God. _Filled with relief, she ran to the front door and opened it, but as soon as she caught sight of Juice's face, her relief disappeared.

When he walked past her and into their living room, she could see the way his whole body was shaking. She took a tentative step towards him and placed one of her hands on his arm. "Juice?"

At the sound of her scared, quiet voice, he turned around to face her, but when he tried to look into those pretty green eyes, he was overcome with shame. He glanced down nervously to the floor and ran his trembling hands over his head, trying like hell to make sense of the thoughts running through his head. He didn't even realize he'd started crying. "I don't want to die, Gracie Jane. I just…you know I don't like being alone. I've told you before, I'm not…I'm just not good on my own. My head gets so loud and nothing syncs up. I start thinking about my thinking and get lost in the details of nothing."

Tears fell down her cheeks as she looked on in confusion at the broken, lost man standing in front of her. "Juice, what are you…" She took a step closer to him, but her breath caught in her throat when she saw the angry, reddened bruise around his collar. "Baby, what…"

She shoved the kutte off of his shoulders and unzipped his hoodie, pulling it back and revealing the mark of the chain that marred the perfect, smooth skin of his neck. It took just a moment for her to accept what the bruising meant, but as soon as she looked up and saw Juice's face, she knew.

Suddenly, something inside of her broke. "No…no, no. Juice, no…no…" She couldn't catch her breath, crying harder than she ever had in her life. Worse than the day her mother died, worse than when she found out her father had been killed. Nothing had ever been as bad as that moment. Nothing was even close.

Juice placed his hands on her cheeks and choked out a few words between his tears. "I'm sorry, Gracie Jane. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She was hysterical, shaking her head frantically back and forth, as she tried desperately to catch her breath between sobs. "Why….why would you…oh, god!" Grief racked her body for a few more minutes until she looked down at her stomach and suddenly remembered the tiny little life growing inside.

She looked up at Juice with wide, horrified eyes, her voice begging him while her tears fell like rain. "Please! Juice, please…please don't leave me, please don't leave us. I can't do this alone, baby. We need you! Please, please…oh god, please don't leave us…"

He stared at her questioningly, heartbroken and lost. "Us?"

Then she took one of his hands and placed it on her stomach. He looked down at the hand she was holding against her belly, and then, hit hard with both amazing joy and gut-wrenching sadness, he looked back up into her eyes. "A baby?"

As soon as she nodded, Juice completely lost it, wrapping his arms around Gracie's waist and clinging to her like a lifeline. The mournful cry that escaped him came from deep within his body. He cried for the pain that plagued him his entire life, for the devastation that he'd caused the person he loved most in the world, and for the way he'd almost caused his baby to grow up without a father.

Neither one had the strength to stand anymore, so without letting go of one another, they simply sank to the floor, holding each other for hours until there were no more tears left to shed. At some point, Juice told her everything; the truth about his father, the bylaw that could take away his patch, the club's involvement with the cartel, and the way Roosevelt had blackmailed him in an attempt to get him to rat out the club. He told her about how scared he'd been that she would leave him, how his OCD had dismantled his thinking, and how he'd been so desperate that he truly believed his only option was to end it all. And then he just cried some more.

At some point in the night, the utter exhaustion that he had experienced for over a week settled in, and Juice finally fell asleep, still lying on the floor in Gracie's arms.

When she saw his eyes close and his breathing even out, Gracie ran her fingers lightly over his tear-stained cheek and softly kissed his lips before carefully removing herself from his arms and climbing quietly up off the floor. Then she went to the small dining area, sat down in one of the chairs, and placed her head in her hands. She replayed every one of Juice's words in her mind a thousand times and then, after about an hour of sitting in silence and thinking, she grabbed her phone and slipped outside, certain of what she needed to do.

She stood alone on her porch in the middle of the night and dialed one of the numbers she knew by heart. And as soon as he answered, she somehow found her voice. "Don't ask questions and don't tell anyone where you're going. Just get here as fast as you can."

Barely five minutes later, Gracie was still sitting on her front step when she saw Chibs' Harley pull up in front of her house.

He quickly followed the path up the short walkway, but when he got close enough to see her face, he stopped dead in his tracks. "Jesus Christ, Grace. What wrong, love? What happened?"

She crossed the small distance between them and placed her hands on his cheeks, unable to stop her tears from escaping. "Do you mean it when you tell me you love me?"

His always warm brown eyes were filled with worry, his voice betraying his confusion. "Gracie, what the hell are you talking about?"

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and bit her lip, closing her eyes for just a moment before meeting his gaze once more. "You tell me all the time that I'm your family, that you'd do anything for me, that you love me. And I need to know, right now, do you mean it?"

Chibs placed one of his hands on her cheek and brushed away a falling tear with his thumb. "Of course I mean it, sweet girl. You're my family, and I love you with all my heart."

"Then help me." As soon as the words left her mouth, she wrapped her arms desperately around his neck and crushed herself against him; his arms circling her waist and holding her tightly, catching her just before she fell.

* * *

When Juice woke up, he was still lying on his living room carpet, but there was a blanket covering his body and a pillow underneath his head. He had no idea what time it was, but traces of sunlight were creeping threw the curtains so he knew it had to be close to sunrise. He sat up and looked around the room for Gracie, but froze when he saw her sitting at their dining room table next to Chibs.

Terror crept over his face as he looked at his brother and then over to his wife. "Gracie, what the fuck did you do?"

She walked over to where he was sitting and offered out her hand, helping him off the floor, before placing a hand on the side of his bruised and swollen neck. "I told him, Juice. I told him everything."

Panic flooded his eyes until Chibs got up and walked over, hugging him tightly. "Jesus Christ, boy. What the hell were you thinking?"

Still too emotionally spent from the night before, Juice couldn't say anything. He just wrapped his arms around his friend and cried.

A few minutes later, when Juice had taken a few deep breaths and composed himself, he wiped his tears away and looked up at his brother. "What do I do here, man?"

Chibs looked down at Juice's neck and shuttered before sighing. "I called church, Juicey. You and Grace are going to get cleaned up and change your clothes. Then we're going to go to the clubhouse, and you're going to come clean about it all."

When Chibs saw the fear and regret written all over his friend, he shook his head. "If what Grace said is true, you're no rat. You never gave Roosevelt the coke or told him anything that could hurt the club. The way I see it, it's just like when Stahl offered me the deal to protect Kerrianne and Fiona if I would have given up Jimmy. As much as I hated myself, I had to consider it. They were my family. But in the end, I didn't rat and that's all that matters. This is exactly the same. You were scared and not thinking straight, boy. You thought you were going to lose your family, too. But you didn't go through with it, Juicey. That's what we need to tell them today."

Juice looked up to the ceiling and shook his head. "What about my father?"

"Fuck, boy. Half the guys in the MC don't know who their fathers are. Your birth certificate says you're Hispanic. That's the only thing that counts. It's a stupid fucking rule anyway."

Juice placed his hands on his hips and then looked down to the floor. "But I lied about so much. And what about…" He paused a moment as a surge of self-loathing coursed through his body. "What about this?" Without looking up, he pointed to the red and purple ring around his neck. He knew that another one of the old bylaws said that killing yourself was a cowards way out and that it could result in losing your patch.

Chibs placed his hands around Juice's neck and forced him to meet his gaze. "All that you can say is that you realized that it was a mistake and you changed your mind. Whatever happens after that is up to Jax and everyone else." Then Chibs turned to look at the woman he loved like a daughter and nodded his head. "Come on, sweet girl. Take him and go get ready. It's time."

* * *

An hour later, Gracie was in her car following Juice and Chibs as they pulled into the lot on their bikes. The three of them walked into the clubhouse together where the rest of the club was already waiting inside the chapel.

Gracie grabbed the front of Juice's kutte and kissed him soundly, pouring every ounce of love she had for him into her touch. Then she slowly pulled back and rested her forehead against his. "Now you listen to me, Juan Carlos. Whatever happens in there, whatever they decide, I will be waiting for you. No matter what we have to do or where we have to go, I will never leave you and I will never regret it." Then she placed one of his hands against her stomach. "You and this baby are my entire life. And being with the two of you is all that matters. We love you. Forever."

Juice could only nod before kissing her cheek, turning away from her, and making his way into the chapel.

Chibs went to follow him, but before he could take a step, Gracie grabbed his arm and turned him around. She knew what would happen in the chapel. Juice would reveal everything and then the guys would vote on whether or not he would lose his patch. But Gracie didn't really care about that. All that mattered was the small possibility that, if he did lose his patch or if they believe he ratted, someone could call for a Mayhem vote. She didn't know the rules regarding the patch vote, but she did know that for someone to meet Mr. Mayhem, the vote had to be unanimous.

She placed her hands firmly on the sides of her Scotsman's face and pulled him close as she fought back her tears. "I don't care if he loses his patch. I don't care if you black out his ink and take his kutte and send us away. Just…just don't let them hurt him."

For what seemed like the hundredth time in the last few hours, Chibs wiped away the tears on her cheeks and kissed her forehead. Then he just silently nodded before going to the chapel to be with his brothers.

Then, without really thinking about it, Gracie turned on her heel and walked out of the clubhouse towards her car. She knew that church would take a while, and she planned on being back well before it got out. But right now, there was something she had to do.

* * *

Gracie's sadness grew into anger with every mile she got closer to her destination, so by the time she pulled up in front of the Sheriff's station, she was fucking furious.

She walked past the reception area and the rows of officers until she saw Eli Roosevelt's office.

As soon as she saw her walking towards him, Eli came out of his office and grinned. "Hey, Grace. What are doing…"

But before he could finish his sentence, Gracie used all of her strength to bring her flattened hand up to his face and slap Sheriff Roosevelt as hard as she could.

Within seconds, three officers were at her side, holding her arms down, as tears streamed down her face.

Eli placed one of his hands on his stinging cheek and took a step closer to her. "Grace, what the hell…"

"I know what you did."

A look of shame crossed over his face as he took in the hurt, broken woman in front of him. He told his officers to let her go as he took a step closer to her, whispering softly. "Grace, you don't understand. I had to do my job. I had to…"

Gracie raised her eyes to his and shook her head, her whisper just as quiet but filled with rage. "What I understand is that you're a sorry piece of shit that plays with people's lives in order to manipulate them. What I understand is that you don't care about how many good people you destroy as long as you get what you want." The she took a step back and looked at him with more hatred than she ever thought possible. "How the fuck can you live with yourself?"

Without waiting for a response, she turned her back on him and walked out of the building, climbed into her car, and raced back to the clubhouse.

* * *

Gracie tried to sit patiently on one of the barstools, but after an hour of waiting, she gave up and started nervously pacing the floor.

Then finally, after a few more minutes, her head snapped up when she heard to doors to the chapel open and she saw Juice walking out with Chibs' arm slung around his shoulder.

And Juice was smiling.

**Please review…**


	54. Chapter 54

**I can't believe I'm saying this, but here is the final chapter to A Charming Life…**

**The inspiration for Gracie's character came to me one night when I was watching that heartbreaking episode of SOA when Juice, high on Oxy, goes to Diosa and talks to Lyla. When she asks him what kind of girl he wants, the only thing he said was, "someone nice." And that is exactly who I tried to write for him. Someone as nice and sweet as he was who could help him through his struggles, love him through his mistakes, and give him hope for his future. And I hope you all believe that, by the end of this chapter, I succeeded. I really tried my best.**

**Thank you so much for taking time out of your lives to read my story, and a special thanks to all of you who reviewed. This was my very first fanfiction, and all of you made it so worthwhile. The support I've received blows me away and I can never thank you all enough.**

**So after you finish reading this chapter (and after you review on it, of course :)) please go and read my brand new fic that I just posted a few minutes ago! If it's not seachable just yet, I'm pretty sure you can find it on my bio page. It's a Jax/OC story, rated M, entitled **_**Call and Answer**_.** I'm really excited about it so far, and I can't wait to hear what you think.**

**Ok, this is it! I'm seriously crying right now! So I'll say one last time, I hope you enjoy it and please review…**

Chapter 54

It turned out that Chibs was right. When Juice explained everything to the club, they understood why he had to consider giving the drugs and information to Roosevelt. He was manipulated and forced into an impossible situation. But at the end of the day, all that mattered to Jax and the rest of his brothers was that he didn't rat. They also felt the same way about his suicide attempt. The club could never condone or support a brother choosing to take his own life, but because Juice changed his mind in time and realized his mistake, all was forgiven.

As for Juice's father, the entire club agreed that the bylaw excluding black members was antiquated and racist, and that it no longer reflected the feelings of most of the club's members. So they immediately held a vote to allow men of all races to patch into the club, which passed unanimously.

And from that point on, the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club began a whole new era.

* * *

The long journey to making the club legitimate wasn't easy. Just as Chibs predicted, the Irish didn't take too kindly to being forced into business with the Mayans, and during a retaliatory shootout with Galen O'Shay and his men, the club sadly lost both Phil and Miles. But after the smoke had cleared and the blood had been shed, the Kings finally understood that the Sons were really out of the gun business and that selling to the Mayans was better than selling to no one at all.

And as was expected, the Niners were also out for blood when they realized that the deal between the Sons and the Mayans had resulted in Alavarez locking down control of the Oaktown heroine and weapons trades. They hit the clubhouse with a drive-by during one of the Friday night parties, and even though it was terrifying for everyone there, the only injuries were Bobby losing an eye and Tig getting shot in the arm. But it only took one call from Jax to Alvarez and Romeo for them to fulfill their promise to protect the club. The next morning, the streets of Oakland were filled with dead One-Niners, and from that point on, there were no other retaliation attempts.

Romeo gave the club one more parting gift in the form of information. He revealed to Jax that, through some government contacts that they cartel had in the States, he knew that the feds had used Roosevelt to get to Juice in hopes of building a RICO case against the Irish, the Galindo's, and the entire MC. Apparently Otto had given up some old crimes when he was messed up over Luann's death, and all they needed was a member to confirm current criminal activity for the club and everyone else to go down. But because Juice didn't turn rat, and the feds had no other proof of illegal activity, the federal case against them had been blown apart.

Once the guns and drugs were behind them, Samcro finally started building up their legitimate business income. What was once Caracara studios became Red Woody Productions, and under Lyla's guidance, the new porn studio became more successful than any of them ever dreamed. The club made a deal to use some of the girls from Diosa in the movies, and in turn, Nero got a small cut of the profits. The partnership turned out to be so successful that Jax eventually turned right back around and invested in Diosa, so that Samcro and Nero eventually opened a second location, Diosa Norte. The escort business was officially a franchise.

After a few years, it became an unwritten rule that the single guys in the club would run the day to day operations at Diosa and Red Woody, while the brothers that had wives and kids would manage the other businesses. So Jax, Opie, and Juice usually handled all things related to TM and protection runs, as well as what was left of Unser Trucking, which they purchased and turned into Redwood Trucking; an incredibly successful shipping operation. And even Tig drifted away from pussy and over to the other side of the club when things got serious and he finally settled down with Venus.

* * *

As hard as it was to take the club in a new direction, the long road to repairing the damaged relationships was just as difficult. It wasn't easy for Jax and Tara to regain what they'd lost when the truth about the letters came out, but after a little time had passed, they realized that the love they had for each other was just too strong to let anything stand in its way. Tara eventually accepted that Jax was capable of making decisions that were in the best interest of their family, and Jax accepted that Tara would, from that point on, always be honest with him. They both put in the work, both stayed dedicated, both stayed faithful, and they kept their family together.

And it was just as difficult for Tara and Gracie to rebuild their friendship. Since the day they'd met, Grace had been completely devoted to Tara; always there for her, always loyal, always on her side. So when Gracie had gone against Tara's wishes and told Jax the truth about Maureen's letters, it had hurt in a way she'd never thought possible. Tara didn't even start to forgive her until she saw that, much to her surprise and relief, Gracie had been right; that once in control, Jax was able to lead the club in a safe and legal direction, ensuring the safety and future of her family and her boys. So once the guns and violence and danger were behind them, the two friends slowly started to mend what was broken. Because when push came to shove, the two of them weren't just friends. They were sisters with an unbreakable bond, and they would always find their way back to each other, no matter what.

So their relationship gradually healed, not only because Tara eventually understood why Gracie had done what she did, but also because Tara just couldn't stay mad when she fell completely in love with the baby growing inside of Gracie, especially when her best friend started to show…

* * *

Almost nine months to the day after the club voted to forgive Juice and go legitimate, James Filip Ortiz made his way into the world. He weighed 7lbs 8 oz, was 20 inches long, and had a head full of beautiful, thick black hair. He was named after two of the greatest men Gracie had ever known; James, her beloved father, and Chibs, who would be the baby's godfather. And even though their son's name was James, it only took a few days for the club to unofficially rename him J.J., for Juice Jr., because the baby was, in every way, the spitting image of his father. From his gorgeous caramel skin, jet black hair, and warm brown eyes, their precious boy was an exact replica of Juan Carlos Ortiz.

It didn't surprise Gracie in the least that Juice turned out to be an amazing father. J.J. was the light of their lives and gave them more happiness than they ever could have imagined. But as much as Juice adored his son, he still dreamed about having a little girl that looked just like his wife.

So only two years after J.J. was born, Juice got his wish. Rose Tara Ortiz, named for Gracie's mom and the baby's godmother, was a true daddy's girl, the apple of his eye, and the last piece of the puzzle that made his beautiful little family complete.

* * *

_23 years later…_

Anymore, it was rare when their entire family was gathered together in one place, but today was an exception. Today was special…

J.J. grew up into a man who was almost exactly like his father; not only in looks, but in personality as well. He was sweet, caring, loving, loyal, and just like his dad, a computer genius. From the moment he got his first laptop, J.J. was in love. So even though Juice taught his son how to ride a motorcycle, a part of him was relieved when his oldest child declared that he didn't want to patch into the club, instead choosing to attend the University of Southern California to major in Computer Science. Now at 25 years old, J.J. Ortiz worked as a computer programmer for an IT company in San Francisco, and he couldn't be happier.

Abel Teller surprised his parents in much the same way. Maybe it was because he spent so much time in hospitals as a kid, or maybe it was because he worshipped the ground his mother walked on, but when Abel turned 18, he walked away from the club and went to college, determined to be a doctor. And now at almost 28 years old, Dr. Abel Teller had just opened his first pediatric practice in Oakland.

But on that beautiful California afternoon, both J.J. and Abel would find themselves back in Charming with their families. They both had a wedding to attend…

* * *

From his blond hair and blue eyes to his confident and flirtatious nature, Thomas Teller was in every way his father. He had dreamed about wearing a patch since he was old enough to reach for his daddy's handlebars, and had started prospecting the day he graduated from High school. All he thought about was earning his top rocker, and all he cared about was the club. Well, at least that was all he cared about until a girl he'd known his whole life turned sixteen and suddenly turned Thomas Teller's entire world upside down…

Rosie Ortiz may have looked like both her parents, with Juice's dark features and Gracie's bright green eyes, but when it came to her personality, she was just like her mom. She was sweet, a little shy, and always wanted to help people. She even followed in Gracie's footsteps and became a nurse, taking a job at St. Thomas as soon as she got her degree.

So it was no surprise to Gracie when Rosie came home one day and announced that, just like her mother, she had fallen madly in love with a biker…

* * *

On that day seven years before, when 16 year old Rosie and an almost 20 year old Thomas announced to their parents that they wanted to be together, Juice had lost his mind. He lunged at the young man who he had always considered a nephew, and threatened to take him to the ring over taking advantage of his young, naïve teenage daughter. But after Gracie calmed him down, and they all sat down to talk, things slowly got better. Thomas and Rosie were allowed to start dating, but he wasn't permitted to even think about putting a crow on her until after she graduated from High school, and even then, wasn't allowed to ask Juice for her hand until she graduated from college.

So after all that time and all that waiting, nearly a year after she graduated from nursing school, little Rosie Ortiz was finally going to marry the only man she would ever love, Thomas Teller.

* * *

As Gracie smoothed down the dark green silk of her knee length dress, she looked around the church and smiled. Everyone that they loved had shown up to be a part of Thomas and Rosie's wedding. Chibs, Bobby, and Tig were outside the door each smoking a few cigarettes before they had to come inside. Kozik, Nero, and Jax were in the corner catching up with J.J. and Abel. Tara was in the front of the church with Thomas, sharing a quiet moment before the ceremony. Opie and Lyla were trying to teach their two grandkids, Kenny's daughters, how to walk down the aisle since they were going to be the flower girls, and Venus and Ellie Winston were handing out programs and making everyone sign the guestbook.

Then Gracie sighed when a small ache formed in her chest, sadly realizing that the only one missing today was Happy…

_Hap had worked just as hard as the rest of his brothers to make Samcro and the rest of the MC legitimate, but after about five years, he started to get restless. There was just too much outlaw inside of him for Happy to ever be contented staying in one place. So with Jax's permission, he opted for the freedom of life on the road._

_Happy found peace once again as soon as his tires hit the highway, and after a couple of years away from Charming, he became President of the Nomad charter. Long ago, when Jax had once thought about jumping charters, the Nomads had been thought of as a last resort; just a place for those lost souls to go who couldn't or wouldn't adhere to the laws of a permanent charter. But under Happy's leadership, a Nomad patch became something to be proud of, something that only the bravest and most dedicated brothers had the honor of wearing._

_For those first few years before he left Samcro, Hap was a constant presence in Juice and Gracie's life. He was Juice's brother, one of Gracie's closest friends, and J.J. and Rosie both thought he was a superhero. So when he decided to leave, it broke all their hearts, but he never stayed gone for too long._

_Every year for 15 years straight, Happy showed up on Gracie and Juice's doorstep for his birthday. He didn't have to call first or let them know he was coming. They just knew that, no matter where he was or what he was doing, Happy would be there that day. His annual visits were always the same. J.J. and Rosie would tackle him, asking their favorite uncle a million questions about his exciting, dangerous life on the road. Then Hap and Gracie would drive to Bakersfield to put flowers on his mother's grave. And finally, when evening fell, they would head back to the house where they would all eat the ropa vieja and tres leches cake that Maria had taught Gracie to make for Hap all those years ago._

_So five years ago, when Happy's birthday came and went and he never arrived at their door, Gracie knew in her heart that something was wrong. She called Jax immediately, who got in touch with some other Nomads, and it was only a matter of hours before they all got the news; Happy Lowman, at the age of 62, had laid down his bike on a highway during an ice storm somewhere north of Tacoma, when a car had spun out of control and run him off the road. He had died instantly._

_It was only three days after Hap's passing that Gracie received a letter in the mail, and even after all this time, she remembered every word…_

_Dear Gracie,_

_I gave this letter to my lawyer a long time ago, and told him to send it to you in case of my death. So if you're reading this, I guess the life I've led has finally caught up to me. I just hope I went out on my bike. That's the only way I've ever wanted to go._

_I want you to know that I've lived the life I wanted, and I have no regrets. I was meant to be a Son and spend my days on the road, just like you were meant to live yours with Juice and the kids. There's just always been something inside of me, something dark, that prevented me from ever settling down and having a normal life. I know you've seen that part of me, too._

_But since I'm gone now and no harm can come of it, I just need you to know that, if I could have ever settled down for anyone, it would have been for you._

_I've loved you since the day we met._

_So it might not be much, but everything I have, I leave to you._

_Always Yours,_

_Happy_

* * *

Gracie was still lost in thought when she heard someone come up behind her and felt a pair of strong, familiar arms wrap themselves firmly around her waist. Then soft, full lips were showering a trail of kisses up and down the length of her neck.

"You smell so fucking good, Mrs. Ortiz." Juice leaned in a little closer and sighed at the scent of vanilla and coconut that had become one of his favorite addictions over the last 28 years.

Then he just smiled in awe as Gracie turned around in his arms and he caught sight of her face. The ever present blush was on her cheeks, emphasizing her beautiful ivory skin, all set against an emerald colored dress that lightly clung to her curves and set off her gorgeous sea green eyes and coppery auburn hair.

_So fucking pretty._ Juice took her face in his hands and barely brushed his lips against hers. And when he slowly pulled away, she was beaming.

Gracie lost herself for a moment as she looked at her husband, constantly surprised by the fact that, even after all these years, his smile still made her dizzy. She reached up and straightened the collar of his dress shirt before running her hands down the front of his kutte. "How's are girl doing?" She knew that he had been talking with Rosie in the bridal room, trying to calm their daughter's nerves.

Juice smiled wider. "She's perfect, just like her mother."

He just shook his head as he watched his wife roll her eyes. "I mean it, Gracie. Take a look around us." They both glanced around the church and at all their family and friends gathered around them, before Juice took both of her hands. "This life I have, this beautiful, amazing life with our friends and family and kids…it's all because of you. You gave me everything, sweetheart."

Gracie blinked happy tears away as she stared up at the love of her life, shaking her head softly before leaning forward and giving him a slow, sweet kiss. "We gave it to each other."

She placed her arms around his neck and found his lips once more, but this time when they kissed, they lost themselves. It was intimate and deep and passionate, reflecting every bit of love the two had shared since the morning they first met what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Juice could never get enough of her; her taste, her touch, and the simple light that shined around him whenever he was in her presence. So as he felt his body start to react to her, he tightened the hold he had around her waist, pulled back just slightly, and flashed his flirtiest smile. "You know, we've got a little time before the ceremony starts. Why don't you come out back with me and let me show you how I can still ride you as much as my Harley?"

Juice just laughed as he watched his woman turn beet red before hiding her face in her hands. "Do you have to say stuff like that, Ortiz?"

He couldn't help but grin as he reached for her wrists and gently pulled her hands down. _Yep, still fucking adorable._ Then he just gave her a gentle kiss and smiled. "I love you, Gracie Jane."

She could only smile back. "I love you too, Juan Carlos. Forever."

_The End_


End file.
